ep 5 with ish mcfly

Ish

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to Raw Talk with Lyrical Agro.

(00:03):
Today we have Ish McFly.
She's a Instagram model, a social media presence online,
and she also has her own business doing rugs.
She's an artist.
She's an artist and I just wanna introduce,
well, a lot of you might already know her.

(00:23):
How you feeling today?
I'm feeling, man, I'm feeling.
I'm feeling, it's been a vibe today.
I've had a good day, been feeling.
You know, it's been a good day.
How long have you been on social media for?
I've been on social media, shit.
I think I started popping in 2020,
but I've been on social media prior to 2020.
I was selling cars and doing videos

(00:44):
about selling cars and shit.
So you used to sell fucking cars.
Hell yeah, man, I got the gift of gab,
is what they call it.
So how you go from selling cars to popping pussy?
On Gotham, bro, like no cap.
Okay, so listen, my boss was being a bitch ass nigga
one day and I was basically selling cars.
So the equivalent of selling 20, 30 cars,

(01:06):
I was doing that on the OF at home
and I was basically just going to work just cause.
And he came into work one day, just popping his shit.
And I was like, nah, bro, I'm gone, I'm good.
Like I just kind of quit on him.
And it was COVID era.
How old were you then?
If you don't mind.
She did this fucking four years ago.
I'm 33 now.
I don't do math well, I'm not good at math.

(01:28):
It's okay, I'm not one of the smart Asians either.
I don't be doing no fucking.
Maybe like 29 or something like that.
I don't do math that well either.
You know what I'm saying?
So besides, you know, and no disrespect,
I didn't mean to come off that way,
but like, yeah, so like, you know,

(01:48):
you were selling cars.
What about before that?
Shit, before that, before that I worked at a animal shelter.
You worked at an animal shelter.
You sold cars, what else?
Shit, before animal shelter, I did retail.
I fucking sold clothing.
So you always been like a hustler.
You always been selling shit.

(02:09):
I've been working since I was 16, man.
I've been working since like 16.
Come from the generation of hard workers.
So like.
What's that mean?
What it mean is.
Are your parents immigrants or?
No, they're not immigrants, but I love,
my mom was like, oh, you're 16, you have age.
So you can get a job now.
So now you about to go work.
So publics was my first job.

(02:29):
I grabbed back groceries as my 16th.
I've been just working since then.
All retail jobs for the most part.
And then I got tired of people.
So I started working animals and then got tired of that.
So then I got back with people.
And I don't mean no disrespect by the immigrant thing.
It's just like, I feel like me and myself,
like a lot of the Asian people I met

(02:51):
who like immigrated to this country, right?
They just want work, work, money, money, money, money, money.
I know a lot of those immigrants are some of the most hardworking people
because they come out, they come out here for opportunity
because this is the land of opportunity, quote, quote.
But like it ain't like that no more.
Really not like that anymore, man.
It's not like that anymore at all.
This is like you come over here, are you a fuck around

(03:12):
and finally get deported?
Like this is bullshit.
America is not like it was.
It's not, right.
It's not at all.
Don't come here.
It's not that great.
I'm trying to leave.
I'm literally, I swear in the next five years,
I will not be in America.
You don't like, you hate it here this much?
It's not that I hate it here.
It's just like it's getting weirder and weirder.

(03:35):
What's some of the things that's like fucking you up about America?
Um, everything.
You gotta be a little bit more...
I don't know.
It's like everything.
It's like if I get into detail, I might get fucking crucified.
Okay, let's not talk about that.
I'm not.
Let's not.
Okay.
We don't gotta talk about that.
Just leave the kids alone.

(03:56):
Leave the kids alone.
Leave the kids alone.
That's all I gotta say.
Leave the kids alone.
Have you always been like, and you know, I'll just be straightforward then.
Have you always been very adventurous and sexual with your body?
Absolutely not.
I used to be a very wholesome, like I'm a housewife.

(04:16):
I'm not gonna show nothing.
When did that change?
Oh shit.
Literally when...
So I had been married for like seven years.
Wow.
Yeah, I was married for seven years.
A very wholesome life.
And then like, I think that when my marriage fell apart in 2016, that's when like, I was
like, well, fuck it.
I'm gonna figure life out.
When did you get married if you don't mind me asking?

(04:37):
How old were you?
I was probably like 21 or 22 years old.
Super young marriage.
Super young love.
I loved the motherfucker, but like it was kind of forced upon us.
What do you mean by that?
So like his mom was like on some like, oh, you got a marriage...
Hey, I got pregnant, bro.
That's what happened.
I got pregnant and she was like, oh, he's gonna go into the military.
And then I was like, fuck it.

(04:58):
And then she was like, y'all gotta get married to get them benefits.
Because that's how it works inside.
So he ain't make it into the military.
Why not?
Some stupid ass shit, bro.
Like look, he got a ticket for jumping the metro.
Like jumping some subway shit.
He from New York?
No, like...
And like Baltimore and some stupid ass shit, bro.

(05:20):
That's close enough feeling.
I'm like, bro, first of all, if shit hit the fan, y'all not gonna give a fuck about nobody
jumping the metro.
Y'all gonna be hiring everybody and they fucking grandmama to fucking be in this war.
Y'all care about some jumping the metro ass shit?
Anyways, whatever.
So how long did you date him before y'all got married?
We were dating probably about a year and a half.

(05:41):
And you got pregnant?
Yeah, man.
I'm not gonna lie to you, man, I didn't say...
But listen, my kid wasn't no accident, okay?
I'm one of the few that sat down and had a fucking conversation with her daddy.
And we was like, fuck it, let's have a baby.
And it took a long time to have a baby, bro.
I thought his balls didn't work and I thought my shit was dry, bruh.
It took a long time.
This is when you were like in your 20s, 21s?

(06:02):
Yeah, we sat down and had a conversation and then we fucked in his mama's bed and made
that baby.
What the fuck are you talking about?
That's what's up.
She's the greatest kid ever though, like the best.
That's awesome.
You know what?
And you say you're 33, but I feel like I would have never...
You got such a youthful spirit and energy about you and you haven't said anything crazy

(06:28):
or anything, but I feel like you've been through a lot of pain too.
Absolutely.
I got mama trauma.
Can you break that down?
What you mean by that?
I got abandonment mama trauma.
She was a good mom as far as providing and making sure everything was good and everything
was straight in the house, but as far as the love aspect and needing the care and the love,

(06:54):
give me a hug type shit, that wasn't really too existent until later on now.
You think that's why you don't give a fuck about superficial shit?
Because you told me before, you don't really give a fuck in a way about materialistic things
and money.
I mean, my shit could burn down and I think I would still be a happy person because material
things just come and go.

(07:14):
This shit will be here long before I'm here.
This house gonna be here before I'm gone.
Certain people grow up really poor and certain people grow up in the middle.
Some people grow up rich, but the only difference is I think when you do start off with a little
bit more like when you're a kid, you kind of realize faster that you're not going to

(07:36):
be happy just because you have money and things.
That's the only thing you get to realize faster.
I think that's one of the things that my mom used to do is she used to, her one of her
language was gift giving, so that's how she showed love and that's something that I do
now in my life because I'm a big gift giver, so it kind of like projects down, but I'm
also part of the generational curse breakers, so like I have to acknowledge that gift giving

(08:03):
is not enough sometimes.
Sometimes you got to give the time, you got to give the physical touch, you got to be
there with the verbal reassurance and shit.
Like gift giving can't just be enough because it wasn't enough when I was growing up because
now I project it in my like relationships forward and that's something that I've had
to like grow through.

(08:24):
In a way, I know you're not complaining about the way your mom treated you, but in a way
do you feel like you said it yourself, like you kind of became your mom in a way for certain
things.
But one thing I used to grow up being like I'm never going to be like my mom, but like
that's something that I ended up doing anyway, so subconsciously is being like my mom and

(08:48):
it's like it's not the aspects of her that I dislike, it's like the aspects of her that
I favored, like she's really good about like saving money and like really good about like
handling business and making sure shit is on point and if vacations are on point, shit
is on point, shit is paid, it's those aspects, it's not like the I'm going to keep you in

(09:08):
the house and locked up because you're a girl and I don't want shit to happen to you, but
it happened to you anyway, it's like shit.
And it's crazy, a lot of this stuff you're saying like I'm Korean, Korean parents are
kind of the same way, they're not very verbal or emotionally open.

(09:28):
It's the same shit you were saying about your needs are taken care of, you got a place to
sleep and shit, but as far as like emotionally speaking, those needs are not met.
What's your ethnicity?
I'm Puerto Rican and black, Puerto Rican and black, you feel me?
I love being bi-racial, I'm a nigga, but I'm still Puerto Rican.

(09:52):
And I'm Korean, you know I have nothing to add to that.
You know what I'm saying, I'm lemon to all my lemon brothers, hello.
I'm the Korean anti-Christ, you know.
I got a felony charges for drug distribution, I'm out here whipping my dick in helicopter

(10:13):
like motions, you know, busting nuts on camera, talking all this shit, I'm not good at math,
you know.
And another thing is, and another thing is, and another thing is, you just said it like,
you know, Korean people are racist as fuck.
I know everybody's racist as fuck, but you know, I'm saying like, in a way I think me

(10:36):
even talking to you and doing this shit, it would piss some fucking old Korean people
off like, oh, oh my god, oh, quivering in their balls, like I can't believe this motherfucker's
over here, tattoos on his face, talking to this motherfucker, you know what I'm saying,
like, you know what I'm saying, like, oh, like I could give an old Korean man a heart

(10:59):
attack right now.
I can only imagine what the Koreans would do for a black woman.
I'm not, you know.
Please don't, but now just put off camera on my ass.
No, I hate, you know what I'm saying, I hate racist motherfuckers and one of the reasons
like I really wanted to sit down with you is that like, I hate racist motherfuckers and
I just want to say that it's okay that we're all human beings and it don't matter if you're

(11:23):
black or Puerto Rican or white or lemon or Korean or Chinese, like, you know, she broke
it down like her story about how she grew up and like there's similarities within every
culture and race and sometimes you just need to stop being in, you know.
Facts, facts.
Honestly, we all matter for real out here and we all just trying to get through this

(11:44):
shit show called life.
We so like, I know it's very cliche to be like, can't we all just get along, but like
realistically like, can't y'all just fucking get along.
And like that would be nice, right?
But you know, even if it's just, you know, one person that, you know, sees it, it's like,
it's cool.
Like we're literally chilling, you know.

(12:06):
She popping pussy, I'm popping dick.
We both got, you know, problems with, we don't like, in a way we don't like the way our people
are, you know.
That's what it is.
It's not that, it's not that we don't, we don't like the racist shit, you know.
And we don't like not being able to be ourselves and be open, you know.

(12:26):
Do you feel like you could be yourself in front of your mom?
I think now I can.
Well growing up.
But growing up not missing.
Be real.
Because I used to remind her of my dad.
What the fuck that mean?
What the fuck that mean?
I mean my dad is very comedic and very like outspoken and very spontaneous and very just.

(12:48):
So she took that shit out on you.
I mean I, she might have occasionally, but one thing I'll say is like she never used
to talk, like do you have parents that will talk shit about the opposing parent or whatever?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second.
So you didn't grow up with both parents in your life?
Nah.
Not at all.
I had a, my mom was single mom.

(13:09):
All day.
Working hard.
Working hard as fuck.
Did you get to see your mom often?
I mean yeah, but I think once I got old enough to be, because I grew up with my brother.
I have a younger brother.
And once I grew up, I basically had to grow up real fast.
Once I learned how to cook, I was the cook.
Once I learned how to laundry, I was the laundry.

(13:29):
But she, I see why.
It's hard out here nigga.
It's hard out here bro.
It's hard.
It's harder now.
I'm grateful that she got to grow up in that time because she had to do it now with two
kids as a single parent.
That shit is diabolical as fuck.
How is it that, how is it that like you feel this compassion and towards your mother even

(13:51):
though in a way y'all didn't get along?
How come, how is it that you still so human and real in that way even though like?
Because I am, I am aware of her traumas.
So you had to be the parent in a way.
Facts.
110%.
I had to basically do my research and see why she was being this way and it literally
stems from like generational trauma.

(14:14):
You feel like that's fair?
Absolutely not.
It sucks huh?
It, absolutely.
That you had to go through it.
Would it be fair for my kin to have to deal with this shit?
Nah.
Would it be fair for her half to fucking deal with how like I would be if I wasn't knowledgeable
to the traumas of past people and past shit?

(14:36):
It wouldn't be fair because I really could have swallowed her ass and saved her the trauma.
But like no, I refused to give her and put upon that trauma that I had to deal with and
I had to learn.
So you had to become the bigger person.
Yeah.
I'm 459 and I always had to be the bigger person.
Not just for your fucking parents.
You had to become the bigger person and I don't mean to pry or say anything disrespectful

(15:01):
but most of the times in your life you've had to be the bigger person which is why you're
so used to it.
You know what?
I see it.
It's not just with your parents.
Like all these little situations and things in your life, you've always had to be the
big boy, the adult.
You've always had to be the one to be like, all right, like okay, shit ain't getting done.

(15:24):
You a fucking bitch or like you a dumb ass.
You fucking, you know, like and then you had to pull your pants up and be like, all right,
well, help ain't coming.
I'm not gonna lie.
I have so much reason to not have compassion towards my mom.
Like there's been times where she basically has put me in like juvenile detention and

(15:46):
I have to be incarcerated for 30 something days at a time.
There's reasons I have to not be compassionate but I refuse to be that continuance of a generational
curse, man.
I'm not gonna do it.
I can't.
I'm way better than that.
In a way like it still hurts, huh?

(16:09):
Hell yeah, absolutely.
Even though you're telling me right now, I'm not gonna do that.
And I believe that you're not taking it out on your mom.
You're taking it out on yourself and maybe the relationships in the situationships you
put yourself in with other people.
You ain't bringing that bullshit to your parents or your brother or your family.
You ain't bringing it up to them.

(16:31):
You letting that be like, okay, I understand.
But like it leaks out subconsciously to like the people you date and the shit you do.
And that's also another step.
And I've also learned this in the last three years that I can't keep thinking that the
people that I'm about to be with are gonna continue to make the mistakes that I've been
with in prior hands.

(16:53):
Like I ain't gonna lie, man.
Learning, growing up and learning shit is bullshit, bro.
This shit, it's like, why do I gotta keep dating people to learn shit and learn how
I wanna communicate and learn how what I don't like and like why is I'm already in my thirties
and I'm like, damn bro, like.
Do you feel lost sometimes?
Absolutely.
I ain't gonna lie.
Like I feel lost in my thirties, but I feel more knowledgeable of what I will deal with

(17:18):
and what I won't deal with.
And you know what's crazy?
A lot of people wouldn't believe that about you because you're beautiful, you're intelligent.
And not only that, you're doing very well for yourself in what you do.
And I'm not gonna disrespect it.
I was just trying to be funny earlier, but I know you ain't have no help and all that.

(17:43):
And also it's not something like that you wanted to get into.
You were the sex work stuff.
You were in a way put in that position and unfortunately used and kind of abused by someone
you loved and trusted.
That's right.

(18:03):
So I dated someone, they basically ended up throwing me on the hub without my knowledge
and I basically had people close to me hitting me like, oh, you know you're on this platform
that is that.
So when I checked them about it, I had to go to like hoops and ladders and the extent
of like having to relinquish my profile of Pornhub that I didn't even make.

(18:26):
And it was just a whole mess.
But I had to end up turning this negative into a positive because it's like, bro, life
is too fucking short.
And once it's online is really forever, bro.
So y'all be careful about what the fuck you put on the fucking internet.
Because once it's on this bitch is on here forever until the apocalypse happened.
Okay.

(18:46):
I think we got a little long ways before that happened.
But it's on here forever.
Okay.
It's online forever.
How old were you whenever he did that with?
So you got into porn?
2020, four years ago, I'm 33.
So I was like 20 something.
So you got into porn and OnlyFans because somebody that you were dating uploaded a video

(19:09):
of you of just personal life shit of you guys fucking without your consent.
Right.
And it kind of blew up.
Exactly.
Facts.
And it's like, damn, well, I guess it did.
And it did good.
It did really good.
The content of this video, like I'm just gonna put it out there.
I don't give a fuck.

(19:30):
It was basically this man eating a gummy worm out my booty hole and it blew up.
I don't know why because y'all some freaky fucking frogs.
That's why.
But it blew up and I didn't know that he put it on there.
But people were hitting me like, oh, you got this.
That was your husband at the time?
No.
This is someone I did it after.
After.

(19:51):
So this is like the first trusting relationship after my marriage because I took like a four
year hiatus not fucking dating nobody seriously until 2020.
So you became a porn star on accident because your boyfriend at the time uploaded a video

(20:12):
of him eating a gummy worm out your ass.
That's what I'm known as the gummy worm goddess.
This fucking blows my mind till this day.
This is 2020 and I still get videos of like, hey, gummy worm.
I'm like, hey, yo, y'all fucking freaky frogs.
So let me break this down.
You were retail, you were selling cars, you were hustling, doing whatever you had to do.

(20:37):
You always had that mentality instilled into you by your mother that you had to do this,
that and the third.
Then one day, you know, after your marriage and all this shit, like you found the thing.
All right, I can be myself.
Yada yada.
Because Buddy was working for the same car company that I was working for.
That's how we met.

(20:58):
Diabolical.
So the whole thing started because your ex boyfriend, your boyfriend at the time, you
got into OnlyFans because your boyfriend at the time, without your consent, uploaded a
video of you shitting a gummy worm out of your asshole.

(21:24):
That's unbelievable.
That's my origin story.
And even though at the time it was like, what the fuck, right?
You turned that curse into a blessing.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And I'm like a pro at growing profiles on any social media platform.
Like it hyper-drived something in me that I didn't know that I was capable of.

(21:48):
And I'm grateful of it, but fuck that nigga for doing that shit against my will.
Like what?
Because honestly, like all this clout shit is cool, but it's not cool.
You know, like I totally enjoyed being under the radar and under the radar person because
I don't like in-person attention and I don't like people acting like they know me and I

(22:12):
don't like none of that.
So it literally is a blessing and a curse.
Like that's fucking, I love hate it.
Fuck.
Earlier you said you hated America, right?
But in a way, you know, you said it's weird out here, this, that and third, and I agree
with you, but you also in a way have to have love for it because-
Yeah, man.

(22:32):
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm paying y'all for.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm paying y'all for this weird old ten mile bills and I'm grateful and I will forever
be grateful and stay fucking weird as weird as you motherfucking want to be.
That's all I'm saying.
I don't think you meant it in a bad way.
Absolutely not, man.
I love y'all so much.
Stay weird.
Be your most organic, weirdest self.

(22:54):
Be you because this life is too fucking short, bro.
If they don't pay your bills, don't give a fuck about what they talking about.
If they're not helping you in no way to progress forward in life, don't give a fuck about what
they talking about because they're not doing shit for you.
So like be you.
If you like fucking them weird ass shit, bro, you like that weird ass shit.

(23:15):
I don't give a damn.
You like it and fuck anybody that disagrees with you because again, if they're not doing
shit for you, fuck them.
That's my big motto though.
It's like if you're not helping.
What are you doing for me in my life?
You paying me my bills?
Like no.
Okay.
Shut up.
Sorry.
That's just a little person.
Gender.
No, you good.

(23:37):
You know in South Korea, porn is illegal.
Is it really?
Yeah.
So like how- They be using VPNs.
So I was being my meat through Express Vp... Oh, you know what?
I ain't going to give no free promo.
A VPN is a- I was using a fucking VPN.
A VPN is diabolical.

(23:59):
When I was a kid, I used to be my meat so much, I started to get fucking...
Hey, yo.
You know if you beat... Let me tell you this.
If you beat your meat too much, you'll start to get a little fucking... Your skin gets
fucked up.
You was that horny, bro.
And then I'm an Asian motherfucker, so Asian motherfuckers don't use lotion.

(24:21):
They just be...
But you was really broad, dog.
You're gonna say it.
Okay.
Alrighty.
Anyway, yeah.
So- Oh, man.
Yeah, shit makes a humongous difference.

(24:44):
I was about to say, I hope you changed your ways.
With or without lubrication.
I hope you changed your ways.
I did.
I did.
Super raw.
I definitely use lotion every single time I touch myself.
Every time I touch myself, I use lotion because I learned my lesson.

(25:07):
Don't raw dog my meat.
Yeah.
And shout out to all the people still eating dogs out in South Korea illegally.
Shout out to... I know I lived in South Korea for seven years.
I know about them underground restaurants selling dog meat.
Yeah.
And then some of them Korean motherfuckers, them old heads, they ain't gonna like this.

(25:30):
But they ain't gonna like this one.
But I'm gonna say it because it's real.
They used to think of tenderizing the meat.
Not like that, but yeah.
They do.
Wait, how you gonna say not like that, but yeah?
It ain't mainstream, but yeah, motherfuckers be eating dogs out there.
And Korean men don't like to eat pussy.

(25:54):
They scared to eat pussy.
And they got a lot of STDs in Korea.
I've seen the posts that you posted and I've posted and I said he ain't eating the right
pussy because I've seen a post that he posted.
No, let me tell you something.
All y'all...
And a bunch of y'all bitches agreed with me because I said he ain't eating the right cat.
I put the cat emoji and said he ain't eating the right... No, he not.

(26:17):
Because no sir.
I'm just saying though, all this BTS and K-pop boy band shit, that shit ain't real.
Korean men like to cheat, go to the Philippines, fuck on underage girls, get them pregnant,
go back to work, act like nothing happened.
They got a whole... Marijuana and porn is illegal in South Korea.

(26:41):
Marijuana and porn is illegal, but they got open prostitution.
Korea is very open with prostitution.
So is Vegas.
Yeah, exactly.
It's legal.
It's legal.
They give you cards out of Vegas like, hey big daddy, I'll be out here popping this pussy.
You can openly pop that pussy in South Korea.

(27:02):
In Vegas?
You ain't going to jail.
No you won't.
But you will if you smoke some reefer.
What happens if Vegas stays in... Hey, what?
It's $150 a gram for some weed in Korea.
Wait, I'm going to jail in Korea if I smoke out there?
You can never go back to that country again and they going to hit you with a $50,000 fine
too.
I need to do my research on what countries I can't go to this whole week because I'm

(27:25):
a stoner.
Dubai, all the middle... I ain't going to... I have not a single, even
a fraction of a fragment of a fucking cell of a molecule of a fucking germ of... I ain't
got no desire to go to Dubai, bro.
Y'all can keep Dubai.
I mean, I'll tell you, the weed is at Hongdae, Itaewon, Gangnam, but you about to pay $150.
What did you just say?

(27:45):
Yeah.
That's where they be eating them dogs at.
That's where they be eating them dogs and slinging that dope at.
Hey, he said, so far shit just... what the fuck?
Yeah, that's where they be eating them dogs at.
Say something in your language right quick.
Say something... Why don't you say something?
What the fuck?

(28:05):
You put me on the spot like this.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Say something.
Hold on.
Say something freaky in your language.
I'm sorry.
I'm not one of the smart Asians.
I don't know how to... Okay.
Say something basic, but it probably sounds freaky.
Why you put me on the spot like this?
Well, I'll say something freaky if you do.

(28:26):
I don't like this game.
It don't feel natural.
Nah, I'm just playing.
Just say something natural then.
Okay, I'll say, I'ma say, you just put too much...
That just means let's fuck, you know?
Whoa, that's so simple.
Yeah, like...
But it's slang, right?
Because rice cake...

(28:49):
Rice cake in Korean is tteok.
Tteok?
Tteok.
But to make the rice cake, traditionally,
you got a big ass hammer and you just...
And it sounds like...
It sounds like fucking...
You're clapping cheeks?
Yeah!
So the slang is like tteok-chille, which means like...

(29:10):
Do you want to slap rice cakes together?
That's how it translates to.
But like, that's the slang.
Do you want to slap rice cakes?
That's the translation.
Tteok-chille.
Tteok-chille?
Tteok-chille.
So that's like let's fuck, you know?
Ayo.
But like, if you just translate, it would be like,
let's slap our rice cakes together.

(29:31):
But what it really means is like, let's fuck.
It's not like the Spanish bullshit that be...
Because you know, sometimes when you translate Spanish,
it doesn't sound right in English.
It sounds diabolical.
But when you really think about like...
When you really think about two like,
pieces of dough like slapping together,
it sounds like you fucking, you know,
clapping cheeks and shit.

(29:53):
God damn.
All right.
Big cheeks.
Okay.
No, you don't got to be sorry.
I have an imagination.
No, I see why you get paid.
You a freaky ass motherfucker.
I see how you, you know, you in the right industry.
I'm a freaky frog.
You a freaky frog.
I am.

(30:14):
Yeah.
I'm not mad at it.
You know, he threw me in there,
but I didn't know how freaky I was.
So I was here.
It's going to be, I ain't choose the life that life change me.
Yeah.
To be honest with you,
if you were shitting gummy worms out your ass
for motherfuckers to eat,
and that you weren't even getting paid for,
you was doing that just like, oh, this is fun.
Like...
We were just on, look, I'm a freaky relationship bitch.
I like do freaky shit with my man.

(30:36):
So like, I was just...
It was just really awesome.
Like, I had a pack of gummy worms I was eating,
and I was like, these are good as fuck.
And then he was like, they look good as fuck.
I said, I bet you won't eat one out my butt.
He said, I bet you, I would.
And I said, I bet you won't let me record it.
And he's like, I bet you I would.
So thus the gummy video was born.

(30:56):
And that's how you became a porn star.
Yeah.
That sounds so crazy.
Yes.
I guess.
But...
That's a big word.
You're much more than that.
Sex worker.
You're much more than that.
And I'm, you know what?
Like, I'm just, I just keep mentioning that shit

(31:16):
because I feel like that's what y'all motherfuckers are interested in.
It's like clickbait because she way more than that.
Like, this is a real artist.
This is a real human being.
And you know, y'all motherfuckers are gonna think I'm glazing.
I'm not like, you know, y'all motherfuckers weird.
Like, you know, just be...
I don't like how people can't see the duality in a human being.

(31:36):
You know what I'm saying?
Just because you should be able to shit a gummy worm out
and then be respected the next day.
All I'm saying is, y'all motherfuckers is hypocrites.
Just because I put gummy worms in my ass doesn't mean I don't know how to paint pictures and
make rugs.
And be an upstanding citizen of society.
And fuck y'all preachers.
Y'all be fucking kids in the ass anyway.

(31:58):
It'd be the police.
It'd be the people, the politicians.
The people in power that'd be doing the most abusing anyway.
So let us shit gummy worms out our ass if we want to.
That shouldn't be a strike against our character.
That should not be the base of my case.
You know what I'm saying?
Because she gets much deeper and much worse than that.
Okay.

(32:18):
Yeah, so even if that's the case, y'all shouldn't look at her or judge her like that.
And you know, I'm just trying to be funny, but on some real shit, you know, ain't nothing
funny about somebody unconsentingly, like without your consent, uploading some private
sex tape shit.
That is some slimeball greaseball shit.

(32:39):
And it's only because of the trauma and like everything that she had been through in her
life, she was already a strong person.
Yeah, it went deeper.
Like I think if I wasn't already strong at the point that I got to and that happened
to me, I don't think that I would have been as strong to be as forthcoming through it

(32:59):
as I am.
Like I had to go through some shit before that happened to me.
And I was like, well, that's just another hiccup bump in the life.
So like, you know, it, it, I had to definitely be strong prior hand because if not, I would
have been fucked.
Like life is hard and like I, I've been in the situation where I didn't want to be here

(33:21):
guys.
Like we all get there when we don't want to be here and then we feel like it will be better
off not being here.
But also that is a very selfish thought because if you've got a lot of people that love you
and actually care about you, then like, you know, imagine how they're going to feel when
you go granted.
Like I didn't ask to be like this shit called fame, but you know how motherfuckers are going

(33:42):
to be sad when I go, that shit sucks.
I think about that often, believe it or not.
I'm like, damn, I'm quote, quote famous.
A lot of y'all going to be sad when I go, but I just need y'all know this is a public
service.
I need y'all to go, I don't want y'all fucking crying, I need y'all to fucking turn up on
my grave.
My shit go be open invite.
I want everybody in that hole and we need to be like in that bitch like, ah, when I

(34:03):
go.
Okay.
I don't want that shit to be sad.
It need to be a party.
I'm going to be up there and looking at y'all sad ass bitches like, why the fuck y'all crying?
I don't believe that though.
You know, in a way that like, I feel like you saying all this shit, but really you sad inside.
Um, I haven't, I am sad because I haven't come to peace with the idea of going.

(34:24):
It's not just, I don't think it's, I'm not, it's death.
I'm just, I'm not, I don't mean by, I don't mean it like that.
I'm saying like, I feel like, no, no, let me finish.
Let me finish.
I feel like you want other people to be happy and, and to have these things and live simply
because it ain't that easy for you.
Absolutely.

(34:44):
I feel like it's not easy for you to be happy.
It's not easy for you to have joy.
And so you are vicariously telling these motherfuckers, be yourself.
Hey, be happy.
You did stand the third because it's hard for you.
You don't feel that way.
And like, since you feel like that, it's like, since you know that pain, you don't want other
people to feel it.
Absolutely.

(35:05):
110%.
If I could take somebody's weight off their shoulders and carry it, I would.
I'm big on that.
Like, uh, like my best friend stayed with me and it's because she's gone through like
two years of like just back to back trauma.
She lost her mom.
She lost her grandma back to back.
That's her only family.
Like I am her friends.
I literally, I literally find joy in just making other people's lives a lot easier.

(35:32):
Even though my shit ain't easy.
You feel me?
Like my shit ain't easy.
I ain't walking in the park over here.
I be fucking in my darkness crying and shit, you know?
It's crazy because I feel like people can open up and talk to you about their problems
and I feel like you the type of motherfucker to very easily point out, hey, this is what
you need to do.
This is what needs to be done.
This is what needs to be fixed.

(35:53):
But then when it comes to your own shit, you lost.
Yeah.
I mean, you see it, but like, I'm not, if I need help, I'm not one to ever ask for it.
I'm not going to ask for nobody.
I will literally take my pain to the grave before I try to throw any of my weight on
top of anybody else's shoulders.
So I will suffer through it.

(36:14):
I will suffer through it because I'm too used to when I did reach out for my hand, a motherfucking
throw in that bitch in my face.
Like, oh, I did this or you did it.
No, bro.
I don't want nobody to ever have no fucking anvil over my head to tell me, oh, I helped
you and did anything because people too often hold that shit over you and throw it in your

(36:36):
face.
And a lot of people are not genuine when they do actions.
They hold it over your head and want something in return.
So I'm really big on like, I'm going to do it myself.
I'm not going to ask nobody for help.
I'm going to figure it out.
And no disrespect, I'm going to just tell you my opinion.
I feel like you're sad because you're lonely.
Yeah.

(36:57):
Yeah, no, I'm going to be dead ass with you.
No, no, I feel like I feel like you got everything else, you know, you got everything else.
But you have like, you don't have anybody for you.
Like, in a way, like you always helping other people out.
You always doing this, that and the third.
And then at the end of the day, you just got you and you just laying down.

(37:18):
I don't feel like I have found a person for me.
No, I feel like you lonely.
I am a person in a lot of people's lives, but I don't feel like I found a person specifically
for me.
You know, I feel like there's a person out there for everybody, though.
Like there's billions of people out here.
There's no way there's not nobody out here for me.
You keep saying that, but I feel like your main thing is like you never really like.

(37:43):
Yeah, you just lonely.
And every time you opened up, you got fucked over every time you tried your best.
Like you got backstabbed.
And now at 33, it's like, fuck it, you know, ain't nobody going to do this shit for me
no more.
And then like, even though like you say with such confidence and you're so assertive about

(38:05):
it deep down, it's like you want that right.
You want to have somebody that can hold you down and you can really like talking shit
to and like not be judged and not have them use it against you later or ask you something
that you want that.
But it's like at this point, it's like it's hard.
It's a lot harder.
I think we all want that.

(38:25):
And I think the older.
But you ain't a normal person.
No, but it's harder for you.
The harder it gets.
That too.
And then on top of the fact that you're not a normal person.
And I don't mean that in a bad way.
You're extraordinary.
And with that intelligence and with the balls that you have to do what you do for a living
and this, that and the third, manage your family, your daughter, your fucking baby daddy,

(38:47):
all this shit.
You know, it takes a certain kind of person, another strong person to like match that.
There aren't many people like you.
That's what I'm saying.
You're a special person.
I have come in contact with a lot of men that feel like, I guess, intimidated by me, which

(39:09):
sucks because all I yearn for is to be like a submissive, feminine, your motherfucking
people, like wanting women to be super feminine and girl into the, and it's hard for someone
like me because I've always had to be this like masculine ass bitch.
I've always had to be so, I've always had to be like, I get it.

(39:31):
I get niggas that tell me like, nah, you like one of the niggas.
I get that so often because I've never felt comfortable enough or safe enough to be in
my feminine energy, which sucks because I don't, I'm really soft as fuck y'all.
I'm not this hard at, I come off as hard as shit.
I'm not soft as shit, yo.

(39:52):
I cry.
It's a drop.
I cry like a motherfucker.
Y'all ain't ever go see it.
I be crying.
I'm super soft.
I'm like, and in the past three years, I only have, I've grown to be more like mentally
mature, more understanding, more communicative, more like willing to sit and talk about my
emotions and what bothers me.

(40:12):
Like shit in your thirties dating is so weird.
It is super hard to find someone even close to your like mental maturity.
It's crazy that you say that.
And like what was so special about these three years that pushed you and motivated you to
research all these things and what stimulated this change?
We like dated three different people in the last three years and right.

(40:35):
Okay.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
I'm a little, you know, I've been doing drugs y'all.
It's a learning, no, it's really a learning experience, bro.
Don't ever feel ashamed about dating people cause like it's really a learning experience.
You really have to date people to learn what you don't like, what you will do like, what
you're comfortable with, how like people's habits.
You might not like how somebody brushed their teeth or fart some type of way, bro.

(40:58):
You have to learn these things.
So never feel ashamed of dating multiple people.
I did it one person a year.
I'm not out here like that, but like don't feel the same that shit.
Cause you really have to learn about what you like and you also have to learn shit about
yourself.
Like for me, I learned about how to communicate.
I used to be a person when I was married, the person I was married to didn't talk to

(41:21):
me about nothing.
I felt like I was talking to a wall.
So that internal-
Wait a second, hold up.
How the fuck did you just do that for seven years then?
I don't know.
I turned into a mime.
That's what I'm telling you.
You think you was doing that just cause y'all had a daughter together?
After a while, yes.
But after seven years, I'm like, not even a kid will keep me on this bitch because I

(41:42):
got one life and one life only and I got a lift from me and if I'm miserable, then the
kid's going to be miserable because energy is strong.
And if you're going to be, being stuck in a marriage or a relationship just cause you
got a kid is diabolical.
That doesn't make sense if you're unhappy.
You got one life.
If you're going to be miserable in that shit, you're going to project that onto your kid.
Is the kid going to feel that energy?

(42:04):
This shit's just going to be fucking doo-doo.
Just escape it when you know you know.
When did you first know?
Why did it take seven years for you to-
Well, like I ain't going to lie.
It took seven years because I'm big on like, you know, trying to fix it and trying to make
sure this shit work and I don't know.
I got, I basically got stood up.
2016, I remember going to this, to my husband's house, my husband's friend's house at the

(42:29):
time asking him to pull up on me because we had separated and I asked him to come to me
and he never showed up.
I said, bro, if you don't pull up by midnight, I'm going to, I'm just going to throw it all
the way.
And I remember this like it's yesterday.
It was a big full fucking room.
I remember looking up at the fucking sky and fucking talking to the universe or whoever

(42:51):
the fuck runs this shit show and being like, look, I just need you to let go of whatever
feelings I have for this man.
If he does not show up because I cannot no longer do this anymore.
It was super fucking deep and spiritual.
A lot of y'all people might not understand, but it was deep and spiritual for me and he

(43:13):
never showed up.
And I remember, I just remember crying my fucking eyes out.
And after the next day, it was like, I didn't give a fuck.
It was like, I didn't give a fuck.
And then he tried to come back and I didn't give a fuck because it was too late.
I ain't give a fuck.
I was like, but you had your opportunity.
You didn't pull up.
I'm good.
So the combination of seven years, I'm not going to say it was a love less marriage because

(43:38):
there was love there in the beginning, but a mostly the combination of, you know, a mostly
loveless marriage and plus how you grew up and how your mom treated you.
Plus working these bullshit ass jobs.
Plus finally being able to have some fun and, you know, be a freaky fraud.

(43:59):
Like you said, you know, all these things was like,
a perfect blend and brew for you to finally in a way, let your guard down.
Be like, fuck it.
You know, fuck it.
It's still hard for me to let my guard down though.
No, no.
When it comes to like doing the only fans and like you are.
I think that stems from like, so the childhood, it goes deeper, like all the way my mom treated

(44:27):
me, but also like just being a black sheep against my family because my mom was the type
of person that at the time back then she doesn't do it anymore.
But back then she would go and vent to her fucking sisters and everybody would have this
idea of me being like this little shitty ass piece of shit.
So being a person that already my family didn't fucking fuck with me and then growing up and

(44:49):
getting thrown into this fucking freaky frog world.
I think a lot of people struggle with the idea of, oh, my family's going to see this
or how this society.
You had nothing left to lose.
I didn't have shit, bro.
Like my family was already like, fuck this little bitch.
So I was like, well, fuck y'all niggas.
Papa pussy.
Rah.
Like that's the...
You know why I feel that though?

(45:10):
Like look at me.
Like in a way I'm a fucking freak.
You know, I feel the same way.
Like you got to think for a motherfucker to get this many tattoos and do all this like
dumb ass shit.
Like I ain't have shit to lose either.
Right.
I didn't feel like nobody gave a fuck about me.
And like, unlike you, you know, I waited.
I prayed.
Ain't shit come.
Right.

(45:31):
Ain't nobody coming to save you.
At all.
Ain't shit going to change.
At the end of the day, we come out the cootie alone, bruh.
Just because we got the mommy and daddy is like they with each other at the end of the
day.
We really out here by ourselves, bro.
Because like once you're 18, you're grown.
You know what I mean?
If you got a parent like my 18 is like, all right, off the lease, you free.
Like fuck off.
Like some, like not a lot of parents, like some families, a lot of white homes keep their
kids until they're like, fuck off.
Like, you know, I'm not going to be able to get my kids to go to school.
But like, you know, my family did not do that.

(46:10):
My mom did not do that.
You feel like your mom ain't give a fuck about you when you were younger?
Not now.
But like in a way you like.
I wouldn't say that she didn't give a fuck.
I think her main focus was just to keep a roof and stability over our heads, which took
away from like the parenting that she also needed to do.
I think that like just be real, man.

(46:31):
Come on.
I'm dead.
I'm like being an adult now and seeing how it really it is to struggle and have to pay
bills and shit.
She was stressed.
This bitch was stressed as fuck, bro.
I see why she was in her room in her darkness.
Her whole room was purple, dark purple.
She had dark shades.
It was like depression.
She used to listen to Evanescence, bro.

(46:52):
She used to listen to fucking Evanescence in the darkness of her fucking room.
She was going through it.
And I didn't realize what that was as a child.
I didn't realize that until I started going through it, bro.
Like, damn, bro.
I see why you have to be in your dark room with Evanescence on like all the pain in my
heart.
Like, fuck.
So you guys are in good terms now?
Oh, yeah, man.

(47:13):
I think but she had to she had to apologize for her wrongdoing.
She had to because at one point I just owned this bitch straight up.
I just owned her ass.
Bitch.
I just owned the fuck out of her because I remember at one point she laughed about how
she abandoned me.
What the fuck, bro?
I'm trying to tell you about look, alcohol.

(47:36):
Tell the truth.
OK, I remember going on vacation and I will forgive my mom for this one bit.
But anyway, I remember going on vacation and like sitting at the table and her laughing
about how he left me in like granite road just because a kid is 18 doesn't mean they're
grown, dude.
OK, just know that just because your kid is 18 doesn't mean they're grown.

(47:58):
They're still probably mentally not fucking grown.
I was not 18 at 18.
I was mentally immature shit.
So she basically just abandoned my ass and I remember her at the dinner table laughing
about this shit and I just, bro, I had to leave the dinner table, go into my car and
fucking eat.
Bro, I was punching my steering wheel.

(48:20):
Can I tell you something?
Screaming.
But like I forgive her for it.
You know, whatever, bitch.
I love you, bitch.
That's when I moved.
My parents, I felt like kind of similar because I became like a drug dealer when I was like
15, 16 and like an addict when I was like.
That's crazy.
Yeah.

(48:41):
I wouldn't even have probably imagined because I doubt that you had all the tattoos at that
age.
Not all of this shit.
No.
Being a drug dealer.
Ecstasy.
I was probably ecstasy, you know, opiates.
I was doing marijuana every day.
I was taking a lot of Xanax.
Where I lived, you would have been the least candidate for shit like that.

(49:06):
That's the pain, you know, I felt like my parents didn't really love me or accept me
the way that I was.
I had nobody to talk to or turn to.
So I turned to the drugs.
I kind of turned to the streets because like in a way.
I felt like that, you know, like.
I don't know like what your experience is with those kinds of like situations or people,

(49:28):
but it's the same feeling like as in like I got nothing to lose.
I'm doing this shit because this is all I have and I have to.
Ain't nobody going to save me.
Ain't nobody there for me.
I don't give a fuck.
It's a very similar situation as to why you started what you started.
And so I felt a connection with that.

(49:49):
And so that's why like, you know, even to this day, like I'm not going to lie.
Like, you know, it's really easy for me to get fucked up and just do some drugs and that'll
take the pain away.
Yeah.
But the only drug I haven't done is is, you know, the only thing I haven't done.
I've never had me doing no cracker heroin.

(50:10):
Yeah.
The only thing I haven't done is heroin.
But in a way, I still got needles all over my body, you know, like.
Yeah, yeah.
So like in a way, like I will never understand or feel exactly what you went through.
But as someone who's felt misunderstood and worthless and had no reason to live at times,

(50:37):
that part I can relate to.
And that's all I can do.
You know, like I don't know what it's like to be you, but I can relate to your pain.
And even though I'm lemon and you're black or whatever, you know, it don't matter.
Like we're connected through pain.
And I think that's why like we're able to sit here and talk to each other because let's

(51:01):
not lie, we're both antisocial motherfuckers.
Fuck, bro.
Y'all, I'm friendly on the Internet.
Don't talk to me on the street.
I'm not even friendly on the Internet.
Right.
I could have been a millionaire by now if I like, if I, if I talked back to all everybody
who DM me and every like request I got, if I did it, I would have a million dollars or

(51:23):
more.
Honestly, if I threw my morals away.
That's what I mean by that.
That's what I mean by that.
And it's like, I'm like, yo, the universe puts morals in people like us.
I don't know why, but it's maybe it's just like to humble us in a way.
No, but listen to me.
You are fucking G because it's like, I'm not even comfortable enough to shit a gummy worm

(51:44):
out my ass.
Like you know what I'm saying?
Like, that's what I mean by like, like I know you be getting some freaky ass requests.
I'm saying like, if I could be, I admire you and I want to say I'm proud of you.
And I want to say that it takes courage and strength to do what you do.

(52:06):
Like motherfuckers really think shit is sweet and it's easy.
It ain't actually like you think, you think it's fun.
You think it's like a game.
Like you literally like out of practice, like you, you got to think, how can I make this
sexy?
How can I make this appealing?
How can I make it a certain kind of weight?
Like you think that it, it doesn't take anything to fuck on camera and be attractive, but this

(52:29):
is an art form in itself.
And literally a crap.
Yo, this is a form of acting.
Sometimes y'all like it's literally a fucking crap.
Y'all don't even understand how much energy transfer is, bro, especially like that's,
this is why I don't work with a lot of motherfuckers because energy transfer is so real, bro.
The amount of energy that it goes into my body, it's real penis.

(52:53):
It go in to penetrate my pussy.
Right.
And then a lot of y'all don't even, can't couldn't even comprehend that shit, bro.
That's why y'all got fucking emotional damage because y'all can't even comprehend how much
energy transfer it is to fucking go put your dicks or put your pussy on some dick.
And bro, that shit is real.
You gonna go sit on some traumatized dick and then you wondering why you depressed.

(53:16):
Let me say this.
Let me say this.
To all y'all motherfuckers talking shit about like only fangirls or porn stars in general
about, oh, it's easy money.
Anybody can just do that.
You try fucking on camera making it sexy.
You fucking bitch.
You try fucking, what kind of sex do you have?
You fucking vanilla ass motherfucker.

(53:36):
Like how y'all be fucking?
Ain't shit interesting about you.
You ain't got no fucking balls.
It's easy to sit on the sidelines and be like, oh, anybody can do that.
Bitch, why ain't you doing that?
Bitch, why the fuck you ain't doing that?
You do it.
I get so many fucking hate comments.
That's what I'm saying.
Why the fuck you ain't doing it?
If it's so easy and anybody can-
Y'all mad that I make easy.
I had somebody get mad because I basically twerk on Tuesdays and y'all get mad because

(54:03):
I fucking make money off of twerking on a Tuesday.
You gonna twerk on a Tuesday, bitch?
Somebody gonna like it.
There is a niche for, bro, there is a category, bro, there is so many kinks out here.
Somebody gonna like it.
It don't matter if you fat, it don't matter if you skinny, it don't matter if you fucking
bald, it don't matter if you-
Y'all-
It don't matter.
If you want to do it, go do it.

(54:23):
The fact of the matter-
But don't judge me for fucking doing it.
No, people, the fact of the matter is they pussy.
That's what I'm saying.
They're pussy.
Don't judge me because I ain't pussy.
Don't judge me because I ain't no bitch.
Like I'm out here making this easy money while I can and trust me one day I'm gonna go ghost
on y'all.
You'll be wondering-
And in a way-
Where's McFly?
Is he gone?
And in a way it's so easy.
It's not easy money because everything has its toll.

(54:49):
You got mental stress.
You think, you know, people always want to say like, oh well, he works construction and
he has a nice desk job or, you know, it's not about that.
Everything takes its toll and everything takes practice and patience and all I'm trying to
say is-
Also, I appreciate you nine to five workers, bro.
Y'all really are some OG ass motherfuckers.
Like y'all are, no offense, y'all still sitting through the matrix, but I appreciate y'all

(55:09):
because y'all helping the world go round.
I appreciate you nine to five motherfuckers.
But this 24 seven shit is for the birds.
Okay?
You don't want to do this.
Okay?
You don't want to do this.
You don't want to do this.
It's hard out here for a pimp.
This is a 24 seven job.
I make content.
I brush my teeth.
That's crazy.
What?
There's no privacy.
In a way there's no privacy.
I'm not a pimp.
I'm a pimp.
I'm a pimp.
I'm a pimp.
I'm a pimp.

(55:30):
I'm a pimp.
I'm a pimp.
I'm a pimp.
I'm a pimp.

(55:54):
Okay.
What do you guys pay highest income people?
Okay?
I like you guys.
I like you guys.
Can we just-
I'm not a child, but I hate you guys.
All I'm saying is work is work, which I'll consider easy money is not exactly easy money.
So don't look down on people for what they do.
Right.
It's not easy money.
And if it was so easy, you would be doing it too.
You're alive for a choice.
And it takes a certain skillset and a mentality to do porn or social media.

(56:19):
If it's such easy money, you know, you would be doing it.
So don't be into now and not here.
So because in a way that's just hating.
It's just envy.
Right.
This is for everybody.
All shapes and sizes, man.
Like, there's some...
If you don't degrade us because you feel like nobody is going to like you,
because that is a personal internal hatred.

(56:41):
Don't come at people who are embracing themselves through our traumas at that
because we're still learning to love ourselves just because you hate you.
That's a personal problem.
And that's something that I have had to learn throughout the years,
where I don't pay attention to what y'all talking about in there.
I love you guys, but you think I look at all your comments?
No, because some of y'all would give me a fucking brain aneurysm

(57:04):
if I read your shit.
Y'all would fucking give me emotional damage if I sat and cared about every
comment and every degrading thing that y'all say to me.
But like the positive outweighs the negative.
But if you think that I would sit there and take a second to allow any of you

(57:27):
degrading comments, meaning you feel less of me after I've learned to love me,
y'all crazy, y'all come at me.
And let's go back to dating in your 30s now, navigating that...
Ew.
Navigating this now with your new job and stuff.
How has it been?
How do men usually approach you?
I'll be honest, I am very straightforward and forthcoming with what I do.

(57:49):
I let you know what I do, I let you know what it comes with.
If you try to date me, promise you somebody's going to send you a video
of some nigga that I fucked.
You're going to fucking see some shit of some nigga that I fucked.
You're going to get a video of a DM of some old nigga that I fucked.
Or a bitch, for that matter.
You're going to get it.
And I let you know this off rep.

(58:11):
I let you know what I do.
I let you know what I'm into.
I have set my boundaries.
And that's up to you to continue to pursue me or not.
Then we're going to figure out if you actually OK with what you're saying.
Because a lot of people, I've found out that, OK, I'll let you know what it is
and how I am.
But then you say you're good with it.
But then you find out that you're not really good with it.

(58:34):
Like, I'm not going to stop my job fucking these bitches, my baddies and loveys,
and getting this money.
If you're not going to, like, if I got this anvil on my shoulder
and you're not going to pick it up, I'm not going to drop.
I'm not going to drop what I'm doing if you're not going to pick up what I'm dropping.
You feel me?
I got this weight on my shoulder.
It needs to be carried.
It's mandatory it needs to be carried.

(58:56):
If it doesn't carry, if it doesn't carry, I'll die.
That's how I feel about this anvil.
And if you're not going to pick it up or even pick up
a fraction of this anvil off my shoulder to make life easier,
I don't give a fuck what you're talking about.
And I can't pursue a relationship forward if you're not even considering that.
Like, I'll let you know all that I come with.
There is no questions, no oopsies, no hiccups, no okey dokes.

(59:20):
There's nothing.
But a lot of people will say that they can accept it and not.
Because they just looking at your ass, and they just looking at your gram,
and they just looking at you as a, you know, what you do.
And so at the time and moment when you that's the superficial shit we talking about,
the shit that don't matter, they see your image online

(59:40):
and maybe what you could be doing or making it.
And they fall in love with that, not the real you.
Right. But then I've also had...
And they say it's okay at the time.
Right. But then I've also had the occasions where a person will meet me outside the internet.
I tell them what it is and they're cool with it.
They fall in love for me as a person and not the internet.

(01:00:01):
They didn't even know who the internet me was.
And I love that. I love meeting people offline.
This is amazing.
And the crazy thing is, that's not guaranteed either.
It's not, because then...
There's still got to be a match.
Facts. It's not guaranteed because I'm the type of person that I know what I need in life.
I know what I come with. I know what I have to offer.

(01:00:23):
And unfortunately, I need either equal or greater.
And if I meet somebody who is below, I give you a time limit to get equal or greater before I'm like,
I can't do this anymore.
Unfortunately, I'm 30 something years old, man.
I can only give you but so much of my life before I'm like,

(01:00:43):
all right, yeah, I know this is not going to work.
I don't got fucking...
I don't got six months plus to be giving niggas after niggas.
Like, bro, I really want to find my forever.
So and then it's hard for me to move on fast.
I don't like moving on quick, bro.
I got to get my shit back, reground, get my mental right and make sure I'm back positive for anybody that I plan to approach

(01:01:05):
because I don't want to project any past negativity onto the next one.
It's a process.
So in a way, what you're saying is dating is hard enough.
Yes.
But with your job, it's even harder.
And that's that.
Dating is fucking hard no matter.
But it's also weird in your 30s, man.
You got people who are like 22 trying to come at you.

(01:01:30):
You got the fucking kids coming at you like...
And for a woman like me, they're like young dudes and they're like, oh, let me show you what a young nigga can do.
And I'm like, bro, what the fuck?
I lost my virginity at 15.
I think she was 18.
I ate some ass.
At 15?
I've been preparing my whole life for that moment.
For eating butt?

(01:01:51):
That's my...
All of your life you was preparing to eat ass at 15?
I loved it.
I felt like so gangster about it, too.
I was like a sophomore.
I was like, I'm fucking this 18 year old.
She driving me around and shit.
She driving me around and shit.
And I'm fucking her in the...
I was like, man.
He ate butt.

(01:02:12):
I've been a freaky frog, too.
You know what I'm saying?
But I ain't go through what you went through.
It's just that I was beating my dick so many times every fucking day.
It's like, what the fuck?
I'm abnormally horny.
For real.

(01:02:33):
For me, I started porn.
I know it's not fair for me to press you like that and not say my shit, too.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm a freaky motherfucker.
I'm really fucking horny.
On top of that, I grew up in Louisiana.

(01:02:53):
The Asian motherfuckers don't get played down there.
I felt I didn't feel attractive, to be honest with you.
I didn't feel like I was...
Not just to women.
I didn't feel like I was worth it to my family or anybody in general, which is why it was

(01:03:13):
probably easy for me to get into drugs and the people I was hanging out with.
I thought that it was okay at the time, but looking back, I just wanted something to belong
to.
That's it.
I just thought one day, since I've never seen a Korean male porn star, I might as well do

(01:03:38):
it.
Like I said, ain't nobody coming.
Sometimes, you have to become the change you want.
It ain't coming.
You got to do that shit sometimes.
If I got to whip a little dick around, I will, because I don't see any other Korean motherfuckers
whipping dick around.
I don't see any other...
At all, man.
You're really the only person that's ever come up to my timeline of your ethnicity talking

(01:04:00):
about you slinging dick on the internet.
You're telling me I'm the only...
I swear to you, and look, these videos used to come up on my TikTok, and he used to be
like, I'm an Asian slinging big dick on the internet.
My freaking frog ass, I said, well, I'm going to go investigate, and I investigated.

(01:04:25):
It's big enough.
I might have added a couple inches.
The promo was good, bro.
You had me, he got me.
The promo was good.
I added a couple inches maybe, but it is what it is.
Some of us are growers, not showers.
I love a good grower.
Sometimes I got to whistle.
Those are the surprises.
I'll be whistling at my dick sometimes.
Those are the surprises, bro.

(01:04:45):
I love a good surprise dick.
There's nothing better than a surprise dick.
You go and you're like, okay, I can work with it, but then it starts to grow, and you're
like, wow, for me?
I feel you.
I definitely...
Actually, I don't feel you, because I've never licked down...

(01:05:09):
I'm like, no, you don't.
I love everybody.
My younger brother is gay.
All love and respect to everybody, but I like Bonocha.
Wait, what is that?
Is that how you say pussy in English?
Bonocha?
What is that?
I thought that was Spanish.
That's dirty Spanish.

(01:05:30):
That's slang for pussy.
Wait, in which Spanish?
I was hanging out around with a lot of Mexican people.
That's definitely Mexican pussy.
Yeah, it's slang.
Bonocha?
Bonocha.
I like the way they say that.
Bonocha.
We say Chocha.
Chocha.
Yeah.
That kind of sounds like...
Sounds like Bonocha.

(01:05:50):
Bonocha Chocha.
All right, you guys.
I'm out of here now.
I got to get the fuck...
She's getting a little bit too real.
No, you got freaky record.
No, no, no.
That's lit.
Okay, I didn't know that.
Bonocha.
Bonocha Bonocha.
Maybe I'm not saying it right, but...
I don't give a fuck.

(01:06:11):
I know how we say it.
I'm pretty sure I'm saying it right.
For a record, we say it like this.
I'm gonna tell my ass lying for the last four years.
No!
I ain't gonna act like I don't know what it means.
You been using the Ponocha line?
For four years, yeah.
Professionally.
But then I started-
Successfully?
No, I be making videos!
Because you know how Instagram and TikTok, you can't say pussy.

(01:06:32):
Right.
So I say, yeah.
Okay.
So like, you know my account's been getting banned.
I think I'm on my seventh TikTok account.
Yo, me too, yo.
Oh my god.
I have grown so many TikTok accounts, it's fucking ridiculous.
I am a pro at growing my shit.
It don't even fake it, you know what I'm saying.
It just happened again.

(01:06:53):
The first time though, I would be lying if I said the first time didn't have me destroy.
I was like, no, the world is over.
That's what I thought, but after the third time I was like, okay.
Then I was like, fuck it, no, let's go, y'all ain't finna get rid of me.
I have seven accounts.
Okay, I have like, I have too many.
I have seven TikTok accounts.
I got a whole hate club on Reddit.

(01:07:16):
I don't give a fuck about you, dusty ass bitch.
You got a hate club on Reddit?
I shouldn't have even gained that club.
Fuck y'all.
You gave them clasps.
I'm gonna edit this shit out.
I'm gonna edit it out.
I don't give a fuck about you bitch ass.
Man, cause you don't have a mind that won't fucking look at it just shit.
No, I got a team that comes and reports me every time I go live and shit.
Oh, what the fuck.

(01:07:38):
Haters.
And you leave lyrical egg roll alone.
That's not even my second, that's a, I was sushi tattoo.
Sushi tattoo?
I'll be changing my shit up like, I'll be trying to evade the haters.
Like, okay.
That's, I wasn't even lyrical egg roll.
What's the OG name?
Sushi tattoo.
Sushi tattoo?

(01:08:00):
Fuck it.
Y'all ain't gonna find me no more.
Fuck that shit.
He said, fuck sushi tattoo, lyrical egg roll.
And now I'm just about to use my legal name.
I might be changing to another like Asian type shit though.
Like, sushi tattoo, lyrical egg roll.
Why couldn't you just put it as something else?

(01:08:22):
Like Bob, Bobber.
Why I didn't do that?
Cause I was trying to be funny.
Cause I know y'all racist motherfuckers.
I ain't gonna lie, I got a home girl who's fucking, what is she?
I think she's Korean or something in her name on her game's name is some Chinese song.
She's like, I just thought it would be funny.
I'm like, bitch you ain't shit.

(01:08:43):
Yes, she ain't shit.
She ain't shit and I ain't shit.
I'm like, y'all are not all the same.
So fuck, I'm trying to get better by learning that shit.
I was just trying to be funny.
Like, just cause they are.
But also.
This is not me trying to be racist.
But just cause all their eyes are shaved the same.
I don't mean they all the same.
Y'all get hip to the fucking.

(01:09:05):
What the fuck you mean by that bitch?
What the fuck is wrong with you right now?
Where the fuck that shit come from?
From hell.
What you mean all the eyes the same?
I mean, look my eyes is just racist.
My eyes is as big as yours.
Nuh-uh.
Why you opening your eyes bigger?
No.
No.
You ain't.

(01:09:26):
I ain't shit.
You ain't.
Bitch I'm about to get the fuck up out of here.
Nah, I was just like.
Nuh-uh.
No, that was funny.
No it wasn't.
It was.
Was it?
It was a little funny.
Just a tad.
Just a mid.
You got some.
No man, just get hip to the culture.
That's the point.
What culture bitch?
What the fuck?

(01:09:47):
To all of the cultures, bruh.
Just educate yourself.
That's true.
I'm going to give it up.
I'm just saying bro.
Cause Japanese people ain't Korean people.
Ain't Chinese people.
You feel me?
Ain't.
But bruh, they're all different.
That's true.
And motherfuckers get offended if you call them something otherwise.
I don't give a fuck no more.
Well, you don't because.

(01:10:08):
I'm hardened.
Hardest my dick.
Oh shit.
Actually, I've been drinking lean and shit.
My fucking dick ain't getting hardened.
Whoa.
I just threw that out there to be funny.
Not that you've been off that little waning shit.
Mmm.
Eww.
Young Moa baby.

(01:10:31):
Eww man.
He only got like three dreadlocks.
Leave him alone.
It really looks like a grumlin.
But I love you though, man.
I love you.
And is there anything that you want to promote or like shout out your Instagram or how can
people reach you?
Hit me up at Instagram at hello McFly H-E-L-L-O-O-M-C-F-L-Y or you can hit me up at McFly Makes

(01:10:59):
if you want a rug because that's my art page.
And if you want that freaky frog shit, hit that app X for itch McFly I-S-H-M-C-F-L-Y.
And is there any other services you provide or is there anything that a message you would
like to say to anybody struggling or going through similar situations or just anything?

(01:11:20):
Anything you want to promote or say?
I got a message for everybody.
Life is hard.
Just really make the best of this shit because it is too fucking short.
You can die in a car accident tomorrow, a plane crash, a heart attack, a brain aneurysm,
a fucking, it don't matter bro.
Just live life to the fullest because this shit really is short and really like don't

(01:11:43):
let nobody fucking stop you from thinking that your dreams ain't worth living.
If you got a dream, go for that shit.
If you got a goal, go for that shit.
And that's my message.
That's it.
Because if people ain't shit, just go for that shit.
That's my message.
I agree with everything you said and thank you so much for your time and patience.
This was Ish McFly and that's a wrap guys.

(01:12:06):
Thank you so much.