Episode #104 Tony Hinchcliffe

Today we are joined by comedian, writer and Youngstown native, Tony Hinchcliffe! Be sure to check out Tony's podcast, KILL TONY.

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Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Boo man here in my ace cornermancut Man, mighty, my case and
our very special case exactly because Imight he's might used as this, Please

(00:23):
don't do that no more. Pleasedon't do that no more. It's like,
yeah, any but we're a veryspecial guest today, just for this
show. He came all the wayfrom Hollywood, California, just for the
show. How about that? Itwould have thunk it true? A good
friend, I know, don'ty howlong you gotta help me? Remember how
long? Man? It had tohave been? I remember I was really

(00:44):
I was still really struggling back inthe day when I met you, So
I think it was had to beabout eleven ten, eleven years ago from
Young Sons, one of Young Sonsfavorite sons, now living in California,
Hollywood, doing all the stand uproutine around the cut Tree, on the
Joe Rogan shows. He's on theComedy Central roast and everything and anything.

(01:06):
You're right for that? Also,yep, our different Tony Hitchcliffe, Hey,
Hey, this is it? Whatan honor? I'm telling you,
nobody else could have gotten me ontheir podcast in Youngstown, Ohio. Rogan,
you're gonna be on our shots right, I just did. I just
did Joe Rogan's massive podcast, andwhile telling him what I was doing back

(01:27):
home, I told him I'm doingBoom Boom man Seni's podcast and he goes,
you shut the fuck up. Thatis what he said. That's it.
He talked about how much he lovesyou, how great you are,
and yet I can't get on hisbudcasts. I'm like to got me in
the line. They said, we'regonna we'll give you two months, Like
I'm on a two month waiting list. Yeah but hey, but but but

(01:47):
I'm telling you you're behind. You'reAlso that's that that podcast lineups. No,
Joe like, I'm one of hisbuddies. We tour the world together.
So I'm like a fill in,like a Velon Musk can't make it
because the rocket sploted. I getto fill in. But those people,
you know, it's no disrespect,but I know it's to give me on
the show. And he's actually acouple of times I love to do it
and just haven't been put it together. Now, Also, you are did

(02:14):
that show? Now? Joe's Rogan'sshows Like he's like the staple of podcast
the gold live Stream. He's likethe gholst up right, Yeah, and
everybody seems that everyone tells my sonlisten to everyone tell me. And Joe
was a funny cat. You know, he's a good guy. I remember
when he this. I've seen himdo stand up before and he's you know,
people understand. But do you rememberremember the child can't take his name?

(02:35):
He did stand up too for theNBC the weather man put the blonde
bladderer, No, la no,the man he did. He did stand
up for a long time. Iactually saw him. Oh you're talking about
Fritz Coleman. Coleman, Yeah,Fritz Coleman. Yeah, first that,
you know, stand up for awhile. Yeah, the different things.
That funny cat, that's what hedid before he was a weather man.
Yeah, and also uh modern,I mean ESPN Craig Kilbourne was what's your

(03:00):
name? Mom? Now? Ohgod, no, he was on.
He just took us No, no, no, I'll think of it.
Do you want to be a weatherman? No? No, But a lot
of people who have done stand upwe're going on to do radio and TV
show, but they start us asas stand up. Yeah. Yeah,
it's true. You'll take of hisname. Well, no, it's the

(03:22):
starting point. For many many people. I mean Letterman prior Jim Carrey,
you know, just straight from thecomedy store where I started, where I
built out of. You know,I worked the door there. A lot
of these guys worked the door atthe comedy store. To go to the
door. Well you end up youend up studying, yeah, at the
door. Well, no, youtake IDs, you you you watch,

(03:44):
You get to watch the show,make sure nobody heckles. You get to
keep an eye on everything, andyou learn, you study all the different
styles, and you've got a controlledline because a lot of people, because
there's a lot of Bellizard people wantto get in. I've seen you know,
is right. Yeah, but it'ssort of like being the guy at
the boxing gym that sleeps at thegym that cleans the mats, you know
what I mean, it's very muchthe same. I have a thousand fighting
analogies with with comedy, especially theYoungstown connection. Absolutely. You know,

(04:10):
I went to the comedy store andpoly show was a little kid. He
was letting around miss she was runningthe show, right. And but I
mean as well, Sammy Shore,Sammy, I got to Adam two the
years. You know, I don'tthink Sammy Shore and poly Show was a
little kid, and he used tobe hanging out there. I just got
a text from him five minutes ago, and I remember, I remember I
wished to but I tell much Alow. I mean, I don't remember,

(04:30):
but he may know. There's anotherCommerce stating got I was dating that more
at Damn prov But about Freeman ofcourse Mark Lanow because I was good for
Tommy, Tommy Dreeson. He's downwith Tommy Dreeson and Jimmy Alcam guys,
Johnny Dark but you know, wishedto work there at the improv of the
store that at the Damn prov Umreport. Oh yeah, but his mother

(04:53):
married to Mark. He's Mark Steps. But Michael was like a little kid,
and he's a thought. I waslike from New Yor because he got
you know, he he's the whitestbrother you meet. Yeah, he's the
whitest brother you know. Yo,yo yo, you know. And Michael's
a good kid. I love it. He went to Hollywood High Yeah,
because he might have been a boardin or he was raised in Hollywood.
You know, Hollywood. Yo.We're gonna forget yo, what you're gonna

(05:15):
do. You're from the neighborood,so He's always been that way. He
is that away from day one.And I said, that kid, and
he was fourteen, fifteen years oldworking the door. I always wondered about
that. I wondered when he gotthat very urban s twitch to him.
But I guess he's always been There'sfrom Hollywood High. Maybe he got adopted
by black parents that I don't knowwhy. His brother. Yeah, me
too, Tony can't thank you enoughfor coming because we got so much time.

(05:38):
Look Um, first of all,these guys are a little nervous.
I said, you know, Tony'sTony's Norman from being a cut up comedian
man. He's like he'd like BustKing of Ballbusters. So I'm there to
throw it out in the Gauntland ifDirny show bring it true true I could,
I said, I got balls ofsteel, Alpha skid, just throw
it out there. We'll just dojust trod No, these guys, look,

(06:00):
I mean, I can't make funof these guys. Come on,
look at these look at I know, I mean they're so nice. Look
look at Jeff Jabbing, Jeff Overand you got baby brother Scott, And
yeah, where would I where wouldI even begin with these these young Republican
Associations over here. You know whatI mean, I can't. I can't
fun of these kicks and jiu jitsu. Really, you gotta watch your step

(06:24):
all right to a black belt withverbal assault. That's right, verbal Tech's
registered weapon. North side of Youngstown. That's exactly what comes from there.
Yeah, I mean, that's that'sexactly how it happens. That's how you
get this way. Is the sametype of fighting that a lot of guys
do, the same type of hungerand defense mechanisms that you have to defend

(06:46):
your family to defend yourself. Really, uh is uh is how it was
built right there, you know,right on right on the north side.
I mean the hardest part. MyMy house has bullet holes in it from
when I was a kid, justfrom random drive buys and things like that.
Where you up Where did you growup with Florence Dale, I guess
I know, Florence Master Pietro's right. My mom. My mom said that

(07:10):
we would live just a few houses. She said to say that to you,
the Master. Yes, because yeah, Leslie's ass and my son's my
son, my nephew's mother. Yeah, was Leslie Folio and yeah, her
her sister was Master Pietro and allher nieces. Yeah. Well then and
then down the street. So youknow how bad of a neighborhood that one?

(07:31):
Well, I know, yeah,no, he's a real deal,
that's right, FLORENCEA was bad.Everybody that I meet now when I travel
the world, they go, Tony, I'm from Youngstown too, I go,
really what part? They go,oh, board menield Clamfield. They
go from Clamfield, Roman streets ofClamfield. I just grew up to Santa
Monica. And I go, oh, you grew up in a mean streets

(07:54):
to Santa Monica. But but whatyou're gonna know? No, you're right,
Florence, only no play with ajoke, right, But you know
what you just said, it wascorrect me, mom. A lot of
guys, look, a lot ofguys they find out they learned their weapons
when they're young. You know,I wanted to be fired. But some
guys, the Rubles are and theylearned their their wit and sharp and because

(08:15):
they don't want to fight, andso they said, look, I don't
know how to fight, so I'mI'm gonna use my words. Oh yeah,
fight absolutely, Because you know that'sthe thing is you make you know
exactly what I'm gonna answer both ofyour questions. What you were saying is
exactly. It's like would you ratherbe feared or loved? And making fun
of people gets you both right.It makes people laugh. Then all of

(08:39):
a sudden you're a little more popular. But it's also like the big doofy
bully doesn't want to pick on youbecause they know you're gonna call them a
you know, right exactly. Anduh And to your question, what was
it a guy saying did you actuallyever get in the fight? As my
first bus ride on my first dayof school, I made fun of one
kid and he popped me right inmy mouth. I didn't even know what

(09:01):
that feeling really was like. Itwas scrap did Yeah, we scrapped a
little bit, but I mean itwas he was, yeah, it was.
It was broken up. It wason a school bus, we were
separated. But man, my firstmemory of my first day of school was
rinsing my mouth out in the waterfountain and seeing you know, pink blood
mixed with the water. You knowwhat I mean. It was just very

(09:22):
surreal and an eye opening experience.But you know, it happened all the
time, man, I mean thatwas That was that was my first day
of kindergarten. So that's five orsix. So you can imagine, Tony,
you can be a long succession.I'm done only Youngstown people who from
the North Side? Yeah, youknow Warner Brothers of course, right,
you know, you know Eddie O'Neil. Who else is Glenn Alumni? Who

(09:46):
else is there? Kelly the GhostPavlet No nothing the North Side? Oh
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe Flynn. Who's Joe Flynn?
Remember, I mean, come on, man, that was one of the
fIF five Joe okay, guys,but Joe Flynn was was was was you
know? Was it was a corporateor I'm a kale name even killed.

(10:09):
It was a funny one the funnyshows ever Tim Conway, Arnsbourg Night.
But Joe. But Joe Flynn alsoyou know, did Broadway, he did
he was a master, and thenhe did other movies back then, and
then he did television. Man,Joe Flynn was a you know, award
winning you know, one and greatest. Yeah you've been alive anymore now he's
been done on hundred years making man. So what I'm saying, you know,

(10:35):
the names look look a lot offighters et live. But I still
know the fighters, don't we Sowhat I'm saying, you know, but
that's a no. No. Eddieweren't brothers, Eddie, Joe Flynn.
You know Eddie I I almost metat a couple of times. There's almost
a time where I almost was.I auditioned for a role on a Modern
Family, didn't quite get it,and um we had a mutual friend and

(10:58):
we all had a meeting, butstuff kept happening. This was right before
Modern Family started and that whole thinggot cooked. You're gonna meet with Eddie
before the you know audition. Yeah, because Eddie ed you know Beop like
Eddie knows my kids, Yeah,says they're little. I mean literally they
grew up like Eddie's like an uncle. He loves my kids because my son
Leonard as an actor. And thenyou know, but he said he you

(11:20):
know, I written learn Nerd.I'll talk him. See if they I'll
give it the name if you theyhaven't called him, so people said Kenned
or Neil Do I think? No, he did what he can do.
There's a trickle down effect. It'syou know, there's you don't run the
show. He's not the show.Runner, right, well, you're better
off. That show will never makeit. Ha ha I worried about it
now, but but it likes toget seen on those shows us for sure.

(11:41):
He knows that. Oh yeah,you always good. But you know
what's crazy is nowadays you get seenon a show like that and all as
crazy as it sounds, a lotof people never really look India. They
don't find out what your real nameis. You don't end up. It
doesn't help you sell tickets. Whereasyou go and you do a podcast like
Joe Rogans or even like this,people are like, oh that's Tony hench
cleff. I'll look them up onsocial media and then you announce a date

(12:05):
and then they buy tickets to seea show. So sometimes doing other things
nowadays you can it helps your careermore doing podcasts than even being on what
a big show like that? Though, No, you absolutely right. You
just said social media has changed thegame. Look and being a producer,
and and Netflix changed the game.Netflix changed the game if you don't understand

(12:28):
that, oh, Jo, Sowhen that was up for awards, you
know when one moved Roma won AcademyAward from that, you know, because
the ruletups you gotta be on twotwo theaters, two major cities for two
weekends. So if you can betwo you know, that's why I have
to two major cities for two fortwo weekends. And you said you're eligible

(12:48):
for awards, Academy awards stuff.So that's basically what Netflix did with the
Irishman Irish Moves in La New York. Who was still there, but I
mean for those two weeks before itwent on, uh you know on Netflix.
But digital down, the digital gamechanged the game, man, and
and for a lot for better alot of it, not so much because
you see people on and good thingsyou could do. You could do to

(13:09):
stand up routine in front of yourmirror on and tape yourself or have somebody
tape you and you send that's afunny cat. But a lot of people
don't have to have the goods.That's that five minutes we see and after
that they got no more right,And that's the downside. Tell them it
gets you in the game, hegets you seen, but it don't sustain

(13:30):
right. You can fool them once, you can't fool them twice. Those
people that became that do comedy onYouTube that don't do it in front of
an actual audience. They die thehardest death, especially when they're at that
comedy store somewhere where there's real heavyheads, the big leagues. Oh they
can't their ass pucker's up. I'msure because they can. I remembered the
comedy store, you know, Iremember what I see that, you know,

(13:54):
I mean you could be brought.Bobby Towns was a friend of mine.
See ball Rise and those guys.But I think I Sadie Murphy had
to comedy. Yeah, this here'sgoing and I mean this is when he
was already started. He came upand just and it was a Keynyary wins
In. Dam Damon Damon. Damonwas brutal man. Oh yeah, oh
name was he was rough man,he was. It was. It was
funny cat all of them built atthe comedy store, those way and his

(14:16):
boys, and uh you know that'sthat was Jim Carrey's place too. So
when they got a chance to makea living collar they swooped up Jim Carrey
and it was all built right outof there. I mean, people think
it's this, you know that maybethey got them from all around the country.
No, they were all working togetherevery night to one fifteen minute spots
right after each other. Well letmess you know now they also you right

(14:37):
for the Comedy Central roast right now, I got I was. I'm a
member of the Fresh Cup, whichI don't know if it's gonna be wrouten
too much long time. I know, you know why I wish the one
in La still existed. I'd bea member that still exists. No,
it doesn't, doesn't. They gotrid of it ten years. He was
right. I used to go towhen when it was in a little Cinemonica
boule of art. I used tohave I used to have lunch with I'm
trying might kid, that's fine,okay, I have LUs have lunch with

(15:01):
Milton, Milton Borrow, Dick Sean. I loved you know they shot red
buttons. Wow uh Jerry Vell lEl Martino and like me. And I
was like in a kidney canny,sir, because these are the guys I
used to Miro Man and milm Browwas that, you know, and they
thought, oh they were to Itwas just I was like a kid to

(15:22):
cancer. And and then the nextthing, you know, bull, it's
a little by little shaky green.Have me the check and and and I
called him. I called him Hennyone night by actually, oh Henny,
Henny, you dump fuck motherfucker,you stump punchtock motherfucker. What do you
think that I started love puzzle youpunch motherfucker. I knew you could take
no shot. We got hit toomany times. Right, Oh god,

(15:46):
he was a funny cat. Butthey shot. But they had no brew,
you know. And Don I gottwo good friends with Don if Yeah,
so you know somebody guys. Igot to admire washing as a kid
on the Dean Martin Rose, ofcourse, which is the predecessor to the
the Roast Down. But and Igot being a member of the furnished to
go, and I got the friendswith Jeff Frost. You ain't nobody funny.

(16:07):
Here's my guy. No, no, no, not tell me they
told me. Don't tell me.Lisa Lampannelli, was she chew up that
said she changed her her don't tellme. Shut the nice. I don't
tell me that. It's not nice. It's not nice, but it's uh,
you know what I mean. She'sa little bit it's different, a
little bit softer softer. Yeah,stop the queen and Lisa Queen is not

(16:29):
as mean yeah, and so she'smore like a little bit lean. Now
that does mean she's a little bitlean. All right, I must have
has been. I'm gonna go almostthat has been over rhyming here. I
actually I'm gonna go see her herewhen she plays in Warren. Oh okay,
at the beginning of the Monuary she'scoming into But at least as I

(16:51):
told me, she's a little leaner. Now, not know she's a little
lean or not mean her Oh hellno, no's she throws people out now
and yeah, yeah, she's justsaying, and I ain't going nowhere.
You can't care pay if I paidthe digit? Listen, because are you
gonna heckled? No, I'm notthat. I'm not that guy. I

(17:12):
don't know. I respect entertainers becauseI was warned them guys one time.
I mean, being in the ring, you get heckled, you know,
but that's what people. Hey,but Toni'll tape if you paid the digit,
you that's that's part of the deal. You're right. You shouldn't not
a right, but you can shouldshow a little more class. You should

(17:33):
have a little more no whatever.If you can't, I mean, it's
unacceptable. The hecklers is not Hecklingisn't an option in a real comedy show.
You know, if you have badintentions and you're trying to mess up
the show, you're not just messingup the comedian. You're messing up the
time for everybody, all those peoplethat paid money for tickets, and you're
messing up you know, it's allabout timing, it's about beats, it's

(17:55):
about it's like a song, youknow what I mean. You don't want
to mess that up. And soyou want the person to be comfortable,
You want them to come back toyour city and all these things. We
have so many options. The peoplethat can do shows anywhere they want,
you know what I mean, youend up, you end up, you
end up not enjoying yourself in aplace that goes to their reputation, and

(18:15):
you want to represent your city.Well you know what I mean. So,
yeah, heckling is just bad.Some people get it twisted and think,
oh, I'm helping the show.Yeah. Sometimes I feel like the
comedian kind of relishes it, kindof likes it. I mean, if
I'm wrong, Yeah, if they'rereally relishing in it, then they don't.
They didn't, then they're they don'thave enough material right now, you
know what I mean. They're struggling. Maybe they just did a special and

(18:37):
they're trying new stuff, you knowwhat I mean. So maybe it's fun
to have a distraction. And anybodythat wants to make fun of people,
we could do that if we wantedto. You don't have to yell anything
out. I could start right inon somebody, you know what I mean,
Like hey, nice uh, nicesocks, buddy, you know what
I mean. And you're just inon it. I think there's last like

(19:00):
red Christmas. Christmas sucks. RyChristmas sucks. You know, look at
those things. It looks like.The state trooper that pulled me over got
off with a warning. I droppedyour name, Boom boom. I appreciate
let you off with a warning.I was only going seventy and a sixty

(19:22):
were I lied to him. Itold him that I didn't know the speed
limit. Here, I go,I'm from California. I gave him my
Cali I d and he goes,did you know it was sixty? I
go, no, sir, Butthe rental car that I rented when I
landed at the airport, it's ithas the speed limit sign right next to
your spiedometer. Hey, what areyou gonna do? What am I gonna
do? Get a ticket? Comeon, I get out of here.

(19:44):
I dropped everybody's name. I said, I'm doing Boom Boo. Man seen
these podcast? I said, I'mdoing the guy from McHale's Navy's podcast.
Sure, remember I'm going I'm doingthe Warner Brothers show. Said give me
out of here. But uh sotell me I mean doing. Can we
go back to the roast? Canwe talk about the road? Yeah?
Please? Please? All right,So you've written for have you ever been

(20:04):
on the roast? Not the ComedyCentral Roast? The hell not. I
don't know. It's a weird likelike he was saying, it's a it's
a weird business guy got on it. I know. Jeslnik just edged me
out. He's been doing stand uplike ten years longer than me. The
first roast that he was on wasactually the first roast I ever road on.
So you know, he's sort ofgot in there. He's slid into

(20:26):
home plate right as I was comingaround third, and uh, you know,
it's one of those things to whereyou know a guy named Anthony with
a goofy last name that's sort oflanky, white, skinny, kind of
easy jokes for the other. Yeah, Andrew Anthony Anny Jes. So it's
sort of like we're sort of atthe time he actually was. Yeah,

(20:47):
when he was skinny, sort ofthey were sort of dating. Yeah,
you met there. Oh yeah,I'm friends with Dice and Andrew's a good
friend of me. Yeah. Iremember Andrew. I couldn't get rested.
He was hot. He did agood movies after four. But there was
a day was so we'd be acafe in Roma and hey, momo,
and he got to and he hadhis camera. He's just shooting a little

(21:07):
you know, super eight mom.I'm doing the show like that's he could
get arrested. And Andrew's a goodfunny, funny cat, you know,
makey would be. We didn't makeit, and he said, let me
talk. We do stuff. Hewas putting it out there. It's just
to stay relevant, and uh,God bless him. And he's because he's
terrific what he does. He's terrificactor. When he pulled it back,
Oh, he's unbelievable in actor.Know, we're doing the show. He's

(21:30):
still gonna rip you a new one, right, But people don't realize he
could good actor. Oh yeah,what was the Purple Jasmine? Is that?
That was called the one film thatgot him got him known? Incredible
and shallow or what was the LadyGaga? Right right? That was a
great um. The song is calledshallow No no no, Yeah, that
star but people before that's so goodin these movies that people don't even realize

(21:55):
it's him. But before it didn'the do the show? Wasn't Jennifer Lawris.
Maybe he didn't film me for that. But like you said before,
the what the Ellen film got hima little heat. Another one didn't.
He had to show on on Showtime. Yeah, the Dice Show. But
funny cat Andrew's a funny He changed, he's softened up, but you know,

(22:15):
you did not learn how to changethe game. Absolutely, And that's
another real comedy store guy. Likeit's not you know, it's not one
of those things where if you're atthe comedy store in LA you can't do
the improvm like you could do anywhereyou want. But again, there's some
people that really started, really startat the comedy story. You're you,
You're You're nurtured there. It's aboxing gym that you get to do your

(22:38):
shows in right, so you getbetter there. You train there, you
learn there, you live there,you hang out there. Even even if
you have a night off and youhave you can't fall asleep. You could
go there, have a drink withyour comedian buddies, you know whatever,
maybe smoke some pot. What ifyou're into that type of thing, and
you laugh, and then you gohome and you, you know, maybe
you say something in the alley kickingit with your buddies that oh I might

(23:02):
try that on stage tomorrow, andthe whole thing continues. It's you know
where it goes. And Dice isa real comedy store guy. And when
I got there, man, Iwas first time I saw Dice. Man,
I'll never forget it. You know. I was just there a few
weeks. I was new to theplace, new to stand up, new
to the job, and man,you know, he reminds me a lot
of my very Italian powerful father,and boy, I just I was just

(23:29):
in awe. I'll never forget it. They said, oh, man,
do you hear who's here? I'mlike, Noaho, Dice, Dice is
going up in a minute. Iwent. I was sitting in that room
and I just couldn't believe it.It felt magical, even the piano,
the piano guy that's always there,everything felt louder like it's like they tune
these things up. It it's adifferent lighting scheme. He gets. It's
like pro wrestling. Yeah, justlarger than life. And I'll never forget.

(23:52):
He had his pack of cigarettes andbefore he did anything, you know,
the crowd was going crazy. Theyhad no idea he was even gonna
be. Yeah, that's another crazything about the comedy stores. It's just
always surprises, exactly. And hetook his pack of cigarettes and he hit
it against the microphone like this.He went to and he goes test just
like that, and the room juststarted laughing because he's it's all psychological,

(24:15):
right, So he was basically sayingtests like he's doing a sound check,
like everything that happened before him hadn'teven happened. None of what you've seen
before at this point matters. Theshow starts, now, that's right,
that's right, incredible. Did hestart with the hickory? Yeah, he
doesn't do that stuffing. He does. He does its around, but he

(24:36):
doesn't open light that because he's becauseyeah, but I was so intimidated.
I didn't say a word to himthe first few years I was there,
and he loves that. That's howyou get him on your side. What
are you doing? But yeah,and now now we're friends basically family.

(24:57):
I feel like I feel like Ican say that comedians do. They do
former family. That's that's the truth. That's the thing comedians do. Because
you guys are there and you knowthe struggle will tell you, guys,
you know what. You know whoone guy I think he passed, Yeah,
he passed. I used to seehim out there. I see him
at the comment Short that was hisplace once a while. I don't know

(25:18):
if he went to improv, butbut he was one of the funniest cats
I ever saw. Paul Mooney Palm. Did he pass not? It wasn't.
I think he's still alive. PaulMooney. I think he did pass
I think he did, but Ihope I'm wrong. But but he's one
of them guys. But Paul,but he was rout for and he was

(25:38):
ready Murphy's writer for a lot ofguys. But Paul Mooney is tough for
me. It was a comical genius. Yeah, okay, superf You ever
get this brother, i't not becauseI love you, man, I got
number love. But Paul Mooney.A lot of people don't realize this.
He was Richard that I said him. I'm bad, I bet, I

(26:00):
said, I met Richard Pratt.Yeah, he wrote Monster. Paul Mooney
was People don't know that. People. He was even funnier than you know.
It was as funny as a wayback then, for sure, absolutely,
for sure, comical genius. Sowho did you? Who'd you write
for in the roast? Almost everybody? I write for almost everybody whoever needs

(26:23):
it, and really nowadays correct andsome comedians as well. Tony give me
some names. I read Martha Stewart, Yeah, I mean really, really
just about everybody, anybody you canthink of. It hard to do,
I mean, are you writing fortwo or three people in the same roast?
Absolutely? Writing more for like sixor seven in the same roast.

(26:44):
The only people that I don't writefor New York comedians if they already have
writers and don't want or need anymore help. Basically, if they don't
if they're not doing anybody else's jokes. If they're doing anybody's jokes, they're
gonna want to see my file thatI have for them. It's fun.
It's sort of like, you know, I get to think of my own
jokes and what I would say allthe time. So let's say I'm I

(27:06):
find out I'm writing for Boom Boomor Martha Stewart or Snoop Dog. I
get to crawl inside their head andtheir perspective, you know what I mean.
So if I if say Boom Boomwas doing a roast, I would
I would when I was writing forhim, I would start thinking, Okay,
what's boxing terms? You know?I maybe I would say, you

(27:27):
know, I've taken a lot ofpunches, but no one has a more
smashed in looking face than blah blahblah. Right, Like I would start
thinking okay, because and it's likeI get to take a break from my
own brain and my own perspective andget to make fun of people using their
perspective, if that makes sense.So it's like it's like a vacation from
being me as a comedian and youget to write some really funny things.

(27:51):
You know. It's like, don'tI don't want you to think I'm trying
to crawl up on you because theseguys to get in man, I don't
want that far because I don't wantto you know, it's Hartbridge went back
and forth like a swivel. I'mtrying to make it easy for so I
try to ski it over so youwould have to look so far. That's
why I was out there. Butthe set, like, I'm sure we
don't get to see the whole set. They yeah, they picked the good

(28:12):
parts, which is a part thatyeah, man, it's a little bit
janky for me, is because Iwish the whole thing was in there,
the whole experience. They edit thosethings around, and they flip beginnings and
middles and ends sometimes, and youknow, they give these editors too much
power, you know what I'm talkingabout. That tell people, will you

(28:32):
hire anybody for a film or aTV show or whatever. The first two
guys you get, you better geta good soundman, cameraman, and editor,
top three guys, and you bettermake friends with all of them because
they can make you solid shit looklike shit and make it look and make
the finished product look like I tellyou, Yeah, did I tell you?
That's what I told you? Ohman, it's it's it's editings.

(28:53):
Were I tell you? What?Are you making a film? You know
what. Yeah, it's like puttinga puzzle, making different pieces of the
puzzle. Any woman's worth the magiccomes together, So you better get a
top nach editor. There is important. Is not more important as the director.
You can have the shitty as adirector, and if you have a
great editor, he can fix allthat. Yeah, that's the direct sorry.

(29:14):
And and I can tell people makefriends with the sound guy and a
cameraman because I'm gonna tell you what, and lighting because they're gonna make you
look good or they're not gonna makeit. If you want to piss them
off, don't, Okay, we'llfix you. Understand. You got acting
as the guys. Treating the crewbad not a good move man, because
you're gonna flex with them. Butthose don't think guys to flex with flux
with other actors, flex with theproducer. You don't flex with the camera

(29:37):
the blowline guys, because they willforget about the ruin you yep, yeah,
get them. What was the lastRose? Was it? Alec Baldwin?
Yeah? Did you do that one? I wrote for it? Yeah?
I probably was almost on that one. I know that I was really
close. And it's it's at thispoint to be honest with the it's uh,

(30:00):
it's it's a it's a give andtake. It's extruciatingly frustrating. I
really want to be on it,right, don't. I mean, well,
you know what I always have Itwould have been great. But now
I'm at the point to where I'mflying on my own. The podcast that
I have that's a big live podcast, is selling out. We just sold
out the largest, the oldest runningrock and roll club in Columbus last night.

(30:22):
We're doing massive theaters in Australia,London, Roses Villa. Uh no,
the Newport Music Let's put away you'reyou're, you're, or TV you're
you're, you're the locals. Look, but I'm just saying you were the
the let's call it the center.Who would they call the anchor? Well,

(30:45):
you want to be the guy writingfor the show or the I'm I
don't know. No, that soundslike he kind of wants to kind of
everybody you want to you want tobe on it, But I'm just it
used to really bother me that Iwasn't on them, you know what I
mean, like, uh, thisis all your work? Yeah, and
but yeah, I get it.They have to have these big stars and
they also need diversity if they're gonnago if you can only have so many

(31:07):
white guys, and if you're gonnahave a white guy, you're gonna want
these legends, you know what Imean, that have been doing it twenty
thirty years longer than me. Soit gets frustrating. In a different time
or a different era, I wouldprobably be the young buck on these things,
you know, the new guy that'skilling yeah. But instead, you
know, I take my payday andI'm doing my own I roast people for

(31:29):
an hour and a half every singleweek on my Big Live podcast, and
it's insanity, and I get tocontrol it, and I get to decide
who my guests are. And wehave the same people that on my panel
that they have on those roasts,you know what I mean. I have
you know, Jeff Ross does myshow, Rogan does my show. All
these people I mean in front ofa big packed room that are all there
from my show. My name's inthe show, kill Tony, you know

(31:52):
what I mean. Like it's abig rotating We do that at the in
the main room of the Comedy Store. Every week. Four hundred people come
from around the world buying tickets andthere you go. Yeah, there you
go. Next time you're in LAon a Monday night, I got a
VIP booth for you, buddy.Well, I actually gonna be the money,
but I'll be you know. Imean, there's out there, you

(32:15):
know, it's what I'm gonna befilming this thing and god anyhow, but
luck is out there. But hey, this thing is killing me now.
Man, I don't know what I'mdoing. I don't know do they do
your sets exactly word for word ordo they pick you off when they do,
because I'm guessing they fall things.Um. Really they want to do

(32:36):
things my way. My way.Yeah, my way is the best way.
It's the shortest distance from from thesetup to the punchline. They get
it um all the time. Theonly one that didn't ever want to do
my stuff was Ann Coulter, becauseshe wanted to fail so that she could
say that they like blackmailed her orwhatever. It was a whole thing.

(32:57):
She's a smart lady. I'll giveher credit because it worked out. She
basically wanted she scraped, right,She wanted a bomb so that she could
say that the Liberals buried or youknow what I mean. Did she really
say that she was doing that onpurpose? Or did you? She didn't
say she was doing it on purpose. She said she had her own writer.
She kept insisting she had her ownwriter. We read her script.
We said you need help. Shesaid she's gonna stick with this. We

(33:21):
couldn't quite figure out why she wasdoing it. And then in the end
it all made sense because all thepress was about her bombing at this roast.
She's a genius. As weird asthat sound, You're right, yeah,
the only right you create the buzzcelism not to stake here, That's
right. That was a terrible pieceof stake, right. Yeah, but
look how much when I see um, oh my god. We just talked

(33:43):
about the woman who was the cookingwoman and Martha Stewart. He that's the
funny. It's funny. Yeah,Martha Stewart and then Sam Soup Dogs and
I'd like to bang you are.Those are two of my biggest people right
now. I'm writing a movie forSnoop Dogg for were a Netflix production.
Um, and we work together.I go up to his house once every

(34:06):
few weeks. We smoked some pot, laugh our balls, young kids show.
He's ever boom man, so hesaid, he wants to meet your
best went back in the bus,went in. You know, the fumes
were plentiful and hollas boom, youknow, I said, I said,
I was dobs. I know,you know he was long Beaches said,
hey, man, like he's playedon an LBC a lot, you know,

(34:29):
doing basketball terms of stuff. Isaid, you know, man,
I really don't matter what you dothis and that, blah blah. I
said, I know the area andwhere you come from. Man, I
marry you know how you climbed letme well, you know, boom,
we know how we do what wedo. And I just looks identical to
thirty five years ago. Yeah doesn'the? Yeah, that's good for you.
You perceiveing a BBD store across thestreet, that stuff the war where

(34:52):
you're a little bit late. No, no, that was thank you well,
I mean no, but thank goodnessthat trooper didn't search our car.
I'll tell you this. I'll tellyou this. They put they put me
in. They they took me backand patted me down and put me in
the car because that's what they do, just to make sure you don't drive
away. Because I had a bunchof passengers, and it turns out when
he sat me, he put mein the passenger's side of the car,

(35:13):
not the back of the car,right, because they just make sure you're
not going to speed away, basically, right. And he sat me back
there. But then he went togo get um. He went to go
get my passengers. I d Stwo to run a background check on them,
right, my comedian buddies, whowe all do these shows together.
And when he goes, I'll beright back. I'm gonna get their information.

(35:34):
He closed the door, and Iheard, and I realize. I
looked behind me and it was acanine unit and I realized this is a
marijuana sniffing dog. And I'm likeand I'm just like, good boy,
good boy, everything's good, chillout. Trying to find beef jerky in
my pocket to throw back at ittoday. Yeah, God, that's the

(35:54):
real reason why I'm late. Istill had to eat my mom's sauce.
I'm sorry, but I didn't stopthat. We had to stop at my
mom's place. She had a fuckingfat man. I'm telling you, yeah,
I mean, you know you've livedon the West coast, right,
they don't have Italians. No,don't no, don't stop. I'm gonna
tell you that's the problem. Peoplesee you Italians. They they're all actors.

(36:20):
Let me say, people say tome, oh, they don't go
to the Food and Gold the foodwe got here, They said, are
you shot me? It's the bestfood. I said. People come from
Italy, they go three place now, they go to Vegas, they go
to South Beach and they go toLa What the weather? Ain't nobody going
to co weather? Ain't nobody comingto New York? Is the best food
out there? Is there a placeleave me to when you come back?

(36:40):
When I come here, you're like, I got a new places. My
Mom's, my Mom's Sauce and JoeyRestaurant on Belmont Abbot. There you go,
Joey's, Joey's. They'll be thereactually for Monday for a little um
party twenty third. Not just comingwith me for a little Christmas two stop.
I'm going to for us. Itlooks like what you see what the

(37:00):
little thing has over the SAOA yeah, j yeah, joe with the yeah.
It looks like Joash handles or anythinglike that. I love handles.
Handles is good, Katie's Corner isgood. I mean, I'm not gonna
hit it today. It's you know, this is I've been in LA for
fourteen years. Man, this isantarctic out of me, right, yeah,

(37:22):
yeah, this is no joke.What are you live in La?
What? I live right at theFarmer's Market, fair Farm. Sure,
I know we shouldn't know. Well, I love it. I used to
go down there because I used togo buy you know, CBS tag h
you know that's where Lucy Ball usedto do a show. The forty five
second walk from CBS Studios. Yeah, it's good area, good area,
man. I love it there.Man, it's you know, two minute

(37:44):
drive to the improv, six minutedrive to the comedy Store. Can't beat
it. But but if you gotto get to the Lax, that could
be a little different. Actually that'spretty good for Lactually, go straight down,
you go straight down, all theway down. You're right, right,
yeah, I mean it's it's ahuge accomplishment for me. You know,
I'm there. I got my ownnice, real, nice old school,

(38:06):
you know, high ceiling apartment,and got a nice little fancy corvette.
And what's cool is that twelve yearsago, when I started at the
comedy Store, I looked at itas the opportunity of a lifetime when I
got that job there, and Iwould sleep in my car, the little
nineteen eighty nine Ford Tourists that Ihad. I would walk up the hill
where I would park it from myshift. I'd bring it down and i'd

(38:29):
pull it into the alleyway right behindthe comedy store and I would I would
jump in the back seat. Iwould go my trunk, get a pillow
and a blanket, hop in theback seat of my car, get in
the feudal position, and crash.I'd wake up when the sun came up
when that sweat started. At sixam, I would go shower in the
main room of the comedy store.There's a little shower in the green room

(38:50):
there. The cleaning crew would alreadybe there that early exactly. I was
in with them, made buddies withthem. I'd go to Starbucks, where
I would work morning shifts there fromsix still eleven am. I'd come back
with the crumb cakes and they andthe coffees for the cleaning crew. I'd
work a phone shift at the comedystore from eleven to six or seven pm,

(39:12):
and then once the club opened upfrom seven pm to two am,
I was working the door there learninggrowing. I'd write all day and perform
all night, and you know,sleep in my car. And you know
why, you know I was ableto do all that because a Youngstown,
Ohio. Because anything's better than that. I mean, I name, it
makes you strong, is what I'msaying. I'm sorry, guys, don't

(39:32):
know that's jumping down. It's agreat place. But if this I've got
you, I just said, justnot a place that nurtures being the comedian.
I always said when I was growingup, so let me go back
to help cut you. Back whenI was growing up, I said,
people said get married. You know, on this a little before time in
the sixties, get married, geta job, graduate, get married,

(39:54):
get a job and a still milland raise a family. It's great,
I said. It's a great life, good life. My whole neighbor was
mirets. I wanted something different.I said, I can't do that.
I want something different. Youngstown wasn'ta place that said, hey, bield
you dribs would be the comedian beingdrives of being an actor, being dreams
of being an old champion, beinga museum. It was get a job,

(40:16):
and that's not no knock about ourtown. It was, it was
sustainability, it was a quality life. It was a very Polyanna life.
But when a similar shut down anda lot of things went sideways, hey,
you're gonna look for it. Soso La is a place that dreams
can't come true. So he's tellingyou sleeping in this car, those are

(40:37):
and you're not doing just called.Those are common, those stories. But
you do what you gotta do.He paid his dues. He paid his
dues. So when people can success, they go, oh this guy,
guy, they don't know about theyears of sleeping in your car and eating
you know, you know, eatinguh subway twice a day five dollars foot
long. I mean six inches forlunch, six inches for that. That's

(40:57):
the truth. And I know peopledid that, so I mean, I'm
mired of fact guys, but youdo because you said but when you see
that sun every day, it givesyou a mindset. I could make it
happen if you had to wake upin a car and young. So I
don't know what's drew in clut.You want to take the bridge, ye,
And I don't mean it in abaut way. That's our time.
This is where we come from.You La is the dreams will come and

(41:19):
do come true. And that wasthe thing is. People get it twisted,
you know what I mean, like, oh, you slept in your
car? Oh, I feel sobad? It was No. Those were
the happiest, happiest days of mylife because I knew I was Nothing could
stop me, right, you nothinggoing for the dream. There's the only
one the thing, men, andthat's going getting Did you do comedy here
and then go not at all?Now I started at the comedy store.

(41:44):
I'm going there to do comedy.Yeah I was. I was gonna go
there and yeah, start stand upand write movies. And uh who tried
to talk you out of Thank youanybody? Day? Um No, not
really. No, everybody's like hereyou go ahead. Yeah. I mean
my buddies wanted me to hang out. You know, he had fun.
We would drink and you know,laugh and hang out. I made all
my buddies laugh all the time here. But yeah, now they wanted something

(42:07):
better for me too. They couldfeel that I had a little extra energy,
a little extra And when you hitI'm in friends say I remember Tony
Ships, I remember Tony Strug becausethat guy's friends of mine should say I
remember when you'd be on weekends andeveryone's going on and said, no,
I gotta train tomorrow, and I'dbe sitting and getting know them. I
mean, there's a nice I lovethem then because they reb and they're proud
of me because I did. Theysaw me. I didn't cheat myself,

(42:28):
right, I didn't pay the ducenot. Do you know her Famili.
There's a young young stun comedies actuallyNew York. He was a Chicagopher,
Michael Timlan. Have you heard ofhim? Michael Timlan. He's a friend.
I know his mother and his father. What Chicago's in chicagofy Now he's
in New York. He's doing acircle. But he's a funny little kids
that man. You do look goodyou because he's he's about not about sevent

(42:52):
eight years, about twenty eight,twenty twenty seven, twenty eight. But
he's a funny kid, you know, and uh when it gives a naturally
funny as young in high school youcan see but he's doing don't want you
know? And that was that wasthat was a big thing in high school.
You know a lot of my teachers, basically all of them except for
one or two and the one wenton to he's now the principal, mister

(43:12):
Sam Martino. But all the otherteachers were very rough on me, very
you know, stop misbehavior, stopyour funny guy. Huh Rightchood Hollywood,
you think you're a comedian. Youwant to know what they all used to
say is, where's making fun ofpeople gonna get you in Hollywood? Or
the president? You could be thepresident. I did at the UFC a

(43:37):
couple of weeks ago. Again,you know, and I did meet the
president. Here you go, hemakes fun of people? Yeah, Oh
yeah, I'm saying, do youhave friends that are funnier than you?
Oh? My god? Yes,isn't that funny how that works sometimes?
Well? No, I mean no, not my old friends, my new
friends. Hell no, there's someguys, right, there's some guys scream

(43:59):
it was a funny guy. Youcould have been all of the comedians,
Yes, if you took the shot. Yeah, they could have been.
Yes, Billy Pool could have beenfunny guys funnier to me. But you
know they didn't go. I willthere's better fighters at the time. There's
a lot of good fighters stuff.But I'm the one who went out what
the new y Nobody was leaving YoungstidAt that time, nobody and I don't

(44:21):
think anybody had too many have sinceI want to because I knew you can
stay in young My father told mestay here, you're gonna start. Raymond
had to go and I wanted tobe my father so win. But it's
like you read about these comedians.You've read about degree what they do.
They left and they went to lathey went to New York. That's who
you want to be successful, thenyou that's what you try to follow.
If it didn't happen in Youngstid,there doesn't happen to the comedy club,

(44:42):
comedy store that ended up on BelmontAvenue right the holiday in or something right,
I know if you want to,Yeah, I wanted to start where
the where the big dogs were,and you know I wanted to sink or
swim, and I swam. Youknow it's again, but it's Youngstown.
You know, there's no doubt inmy mind. And that's why when you
asked me to come here and everything, I wanted to do this. It's

(45:02):
because you know we have this connection. It's that's no coincidence. It's not
just no. You absolutely and youmake your bones here in town. People
understand this town create I always tellpeople that I've said this many times.
Everything I am after, have everbeen after, ever will be for two
reasons. My family, my cityof Youngstown. That's no bullshit, that's

(45:25):
no dispute. This thing you,this town, it burned me, it
raised me, and it's and itsent me off to It's not a place
you want to stay, but it'sa great place to be from, you
know what I mean. It's agreat place to learn, to grow,
to give you that extra edge ofyou know how to handle yourself. If

(45:46):
I go to New York, Iknow what happens if I get mugged.
I know, I know, Iknow exactly where on the kneecap to kick
in backwards. You know what Imean? All this stuff because my friends
said, always tell people. Imean, if you guys stick saying kick
beloading, that's right. If yougot to stick, bang them in kneecap,
don't bing them in a head,don't bing them you go below.
Even if on PCP would they couldgo down, don't go down. Good

(46:12):
advice. Do you remember when youwent from I think I can make it
too. I know I'm gonna makeit. Um as egotistical. I think
you right, Yeah, I thinkin order to make it, you can't
not think you're gonna make it.You gotta you gotta go in there completely,
even on the first time you walkout on stage. I was,

(46:37):
you have to realize, Like myfirst time I ever walked out on stage,
I had prepared for two or threemonths. And then at the at
the comedy store, the open micis only three minutes long. I couldn't
believe it when I found out it'sonly three minutes. I got three minutes.
I'm gonna destroy. This is gonnabe great. I'm gonna pray,
I'm gonna prepare for months. I'mgonna go in there. They're gonna hire
me within a few weeks. Thisis gonna be magical. And I prepared

(47:00):
for months. I'd go to thepark every day and I'd write, and
I'd keep writing, and I'd editit and write again, and I'd memorized
it all for weeks and weeks andweeks, and then I finally went to
the comedy store. I signed upfor the open mic. One hundred people
sign up. They only pick fifteen. They sort of look for new names
and they'll give a few people thespot that I earned it over the last

(47:20):
few weeks, and I was luckyenough to get put on the list number
twelve or thirteen out of fifteen.I'm watching these people go up before me.
It's also my first time in acomedy club live was the Comedy Store
and I was on the show.I was coming up. So I'm watching
it. I just can't believe it. But it was home already, you
know, the energy. I'm lookingat it like, yeah, this is

(47:43):
it. Like these red neons andthis black leather couches everywhere, and everything's
so black and red and it's socool to me. And the sound,
and you see the names in cursiveneons, Andrew Dice Clay, you know,
Richard Pryor Raw, Ben Williams,Jim Carrey. You're there where all
these legends are built and made.And the host goes, all right,

(48:06):
your next comedian, this looks likea new name. Put your hands together
for Tony hench Cliff. And Iwalk up there and as soon as I
hit that stage, I blanked out. I forgot everything that I had prepared
for for the months leading into it, because the nerves were unlike anything I
had no theater background going into this, I had no performance background, and

(48:29):
I blanked out. But you knowwhat happened as I go, I go,
hey, everybody, UM, yeah, I'm Tony um and uh uh
I I forget everything that I wasgoing to talk with you about. And
it gets this laugh that the twelveguys before me didn't get because they're doing
these jokey jokes right that the audiencewas expecting, and the jokes aren't as

(48:52):
good as they were expecting them tobe. So I go, I forgot
everything I'm talking about and it getsa laugh and I go, no,
I'm serious. I prepared for monthsfor this. Another bigger laugh. I'm
not. I don't know what you'relaughing at. Bigger laugh, Right,
I'm just being honest. I'm inthe moment. I'm listening to them again,
but they see your vulnerability exactly.Timing and beats. Going back to

(49:15):
that about the Heckler thing, It'slike I'm using my timing. I'm listening
to them. It's like a dance. You know, they're making a move.
I'm making a move. And literallythat night, the talent coordinator took
my name. I had a jobwithin two or three weeks because of that
not because of and little did theyknow that. It turns out I was
a writer writer that but that muscleshowed itself for the first time that night,

(49:39):
So, you know, and that'swhat they're looking for. They're looking
for someone that can roll with thepunches when everything's bad, when you have
nothing, what do you got?You know, no, I said at
the improv a lot. And Iused to be, you know, on
a Saturday night and last show.You know, it's it's eight and ten

(50:00):
and at twelve o'clock everybody would beten of us left and Rob Williams walking
and go up in do an hourand a half. Oh god, you
just sit there and push your pants. But eating kifters. One hundred people
or ten people, he was doingthe same, and you just said this,
this guy's unbelievable. Is the magicalenergy. I mean, he would
be dripping sweat again, ten peoplepacked house, He's just running across the

(50:21):
stage and he was and he justjust man, I was, you know,
and I got to be friends withyour friends Yill there and but he
was literally like that off stage,he was manic being being he was bounced
off the walls. That went thiskid, don't know this is him.
This is him. There ain't no, there's no act. Is there anyone
that you've come across that even youwere kind of like star struck when you

(50:44):
met him? I mean a lotof them, man, I mean it's
just I've I've met everybody. I'vemet all of my heroes, so really
like it's like, you know,I love the art form so much that
I get star struck by you know. I mean, not like wacky dude,
I'll star strack. I'm super politeand I try to say, you
know, I'm classy dude. Butit's always weird to me when I'm at

(51:07):
the comedy store and I see Chapelleand he goes tony, you know what
I mean, I'm like, whatthe fuck is going on? This is
weird. It's weird every time he'sfrom Ohio. Yeah, a little yeah,
but yeah, he he probably forgetsthat I'm from Ohio. It's more
like again, it's like a comedyfamily from Maryland from No, No,
he moved to dating for whatever reason. He's from Maryland. Bus but it

(51:30):
was friendly. But you know what'sfunny when people say I mean beers,
I don't know what. I don'tknow what to say. I tell my
kids because kids been a lot ofpeople with miss stuff, and it's say,
here's what you say. And I'vedone this when I've seen people I
wanted to meet and stuff. Ijust say, I just want to say,
imre your work for right now.That's it. I just say,
I want to imire your work verymuch. You can't get offended by that.

(51:50):
Thank you, you walk away.That's exactly what I do. That's
what nobody ever made you, likelose your train of thought or like you
were going to say something that ifyou want to know the truth why I
ended up making friends with rowdy RoddyPiper, an old pro wrestler. Pro
wrestling. Pro wrestling was my jamwhen I was grown up. You know,
I didn't have there was no fatherin my household that I grew up
in, so these larger than lifewrestlers when I found him on a Saturday

(52:15):
morning at a young age, whereyou know, a lot of a lot
of the entertainer in me was sortof built from these guys. And I
made friends with Piper. He mentoredme in the art of sort of like
a carrying yourself like a star.A little bit. I guess you could
say. And I was helping himwith jokes because he came to the comedy
store and wanted to learn how totell good stories. So I would punch

(52:38):
up his stories, and he wasteaching me little things about, you know,
just cameras and this and everything,and um we became friends. So
he was hanging out at the comedystore more often than um than we ever
thought he would. And one nightI didn't realize he was there. I
was walking by to go to theback to hang out with a pal,

(52:59):
and out of the corner of myeye, I see this like long black
like a sort of like wet hair, it seemed, and I see this
leather jacket and I'm just walking bycasually, and then I noticed that it's
Brett the hitman hard and I fellbackwards into a little sewing machine that was
against the wall, and I literallymade a bunch of noise like you ever

(53:19):
see in a movie when someone's justsort of like, oh, like an
idiot, like I was that guy. And they whatever they were talking about,
they both look over and I'm like, hello, sorry, hi,
and Piper's like, come here,me and my friend. You know,
he could tell exactly what us happened. Like It's like if someone was a
fan of yours and they walked inhere not knowing you were there, and
fell into that table and over liketheir feet behind it. That's basically what

(53:40):
I I did, Mike. Yeah, a lady came in last week thought
we were DJs, So I meanthat was fun. Why aren't you guys
playing any music? Can I hireyou for our event? Like we're not
really funny? Sit so much somuch it. I mean, what's the
next thing you're doing? So this? Yeah, I mean, you know,

(54:02):
these writing gigs are nothing. Youknow, the roast blots Comedy Central.
Barely anybody's watching anymore. I don'tknow. Yeah, no, I
mean these roast things, they come, they go. You gotta get in
on the podcast, man, thisis what's happening. You gotta you gotta
look up kill Tony. It's amachine. We are torn. We're filling
up theaters around the world. It'scalled kill Tony. And that's that's the

(54:25):
new roast show. If you wantto see a roast, you do that.
So what I do is I havea I do a show and it
fills up with fans but also abunch of people sign up for the chance
to do stand up comedy on myshow. So you sign up when you
come in if you want to.And right before the show they cut everybody's
names up. It goes into abucket and I pull names out during the

(54:46):
show. And if I pull yourname out, that means you get to
come up on stage and do sixtyseconds of stand up comedy and then at
the end of the sixty seconds youget made fun of. Yeah, it's
the best. Everybody loves it.And I find out more about the person
I interview them and make fun ofthem about that, and they love it.
Everybody is happy. That's a goodconcert. Yeah. Can I what

(55:06):
if I gave you some topic,could you do like a thirty second make
fun of thing? Yeah? No, not me. I was gonna come
up from topics. Oh yeah forthe show. Can we just start right
now? Wait? Wait at thirtyseconds? What do you what do you
mean? Yeah, you can getripped, give me ripped. You're gonna
do stand out? No, youcan do it. I'll say, like
a new Star Wars movie, andthen you want me to do a joke
about it. That's right, that'sis that it's not really how damn it.

(55:29):
I know you don't get it.Do it? Okay? I'm fun
It's like it's like it's like Itell people, it's like the monkey and
the organ. I know, II know what you mean. How did
this guy have more brain damage thanyou? Boom boom? What's going on
over here? How the things thatwork? I got punched once. I
don't really call it a fight.You don't like seeing your fight somehow,

(55:51):
this guy, this guy gets it'slike twin brothers, like he felt your
pain from all the box. Don't. Before you came in, I was
telling them, well, und Idon't. He'll think about like, well
I'm talking, they'll think of something. Um. I actually told him.
I told him. I don't knowif you actually think I actually I told
you. I just told them,But I can't remember when you walked in

(56:12):
that I did five minutes at theimprov. I told you years ago,
Markling, I'm thinking funny game.Yeah, and that's I said. My
ass was so puckered up because theyact like you're you know, you're get
going into fight your son. Isaid in the ring. I know what
I'm doing right here. I wantatrying to be funny and then you see
people and you walk out and saythey're looking actually like this make me laughing?
Tough guy makes me laugh? Ohhell, no, man, does

(56:36):
he want to happened mine? Becauseyou don't know what to get there?
It's like the guys fighters, theysaid, I was helping. There two
types of guys. Guys who wantto be fighters and some guys who like
the idea of being a fighter.Right, And that's the day you go
out there saying, oh man,that hurt because I like the idea of
being a fighter. They don't wantto do pay dudes. They don't want
to pay the dudes. They don'twant to train like they should because they

(56:57):
like the idea of being a cruisements. I always tell people what do you
know? Guys say, well,my heid wants to be a fighter,
and I always say to him,let mess them why and look, I
say, well, well to befamous? I said, no shit it
that's about ten minutes of that tome. Girls, I said, no
shit, make it a personality.How's that thing? Or to make money?
I said, let me tell yousaid ten percent fighters make money.

(57:19):
Anybody make it tymp of money?Ten percent mpers that don't need a second
job, Go get a job.If I don't hear to be a world
champion, then you're in there forthe wrong reason. Don't do anything that
should be the answer, first ofall, to be a world champion.
Okay, so so when I whenI see aries things and so that's what.
But but like there's guys who likethe idea of being a fighter.

(57:40):
There's guys I'm sure like you,who like the idea of being thinking I'm
gonna be a funny guy, I'mgonna move the girl over, I'm gonna
be funny, and that, youknow, because women, what's the one
what's the one trade? Women say? They look guys, it's his humor.
Guy who said, when's them over? His humor? Right, It's
a little different when you're up therebeing cute in class, being cute in
front of your growth, trubling over, being a trying to make a group

(58:01):
people last. Yeah, people don'trealize we're up there on Sundays, Mondays,
Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays too.It's not just the sold out Fridays
and Saturdays. You know, yougotta love it, you gotta love you
gotta love it. That's the thing. You gotta do it because you love
it. I mean, look atit. Even look at the guys that
become champions right in boxing, andthen what do they do. I heard

(58:22):
that this ruise guy. I heardbefore this rematch. I heard he's,
Oh, he's drinking a lot oftequila. He's going out at night.
He's one of our first loving goodguy. Yeah, but I heard he
was doing a lot of celebrates.Yeah he was two sixty yea last right,
two sixty eight, two fifty twosixty. He goes at Tuesday eighty
two. I said, bro,bro, what do you you know?

(58:44):
It ain't out of gain. Weightis to lose the way to maintain the
weight. Right, But he wasin you know, the tacos and the
tequila like he was going electric.Like he was going electric. Chere.
Yeah and successful. Tell people whattime you know what? You've heard the
Stroyer for the prior you've heard theStroyers of all the got success. Success
is the greatest efforts, Jack,I said, but a lot of people

(59:05):
I made a handle success. Beingable to handle success is it is a
quality. It's a real character treat. You got about handle success. But
there's numerous examples in comedy and musicand entertainment. An it's anxious every day
guy. It's a people into everyone'slife. I got out of high school,
I went down to UH, Iwent down to Columbus, went to
college for about a semester and ahalf. My girlfriend broke up with me.

(59:30):
My heart was broken. I wentinto a deep depression, real deep,
real deep. Was working at Ruth'sChris Steakhouse, a fancy steakhouse down
there in Columbus at nighttime, andthat's a dinner house, so they don't
open up until, you know,five or six pm or whatever. So
I ended up drinking a lot andafter these shifts, and then I was

(59:51):
so depressed that I couldn't even getmyself out of bed, honestly, until
three or four pm. I go. I'd work at the dinner shift again.
You get out of a then youdrink again. The next day,
you're even more depressed. It washorrible, so depressed down there, and
then you know, I long storyshort, I got to work right and

(01:00:12):
here I go. There I amin Columbus last night, a sold out
show on High Street, the oldestrock club in the country, my own
show. The last time before thatin Columbus nationwide arena, Me on that
stage for thirty minutes, just meand a microphone, working the nationwide arena.
You know, And at any ofthese points, I could have talked

(01:00:37):
about what I just talked about,about how depressed I was and this and
that and but no, it's aboutthrowing punches, throwing heat. Never let
him breathe, never let him up, because you want to be back again
for the next one and the nextone and the next one. And you
know it's That's My point isn't tobrag about how sad I was in Columbus

(01:00:58):
and what I'm doing now. Butmy point is is my focus, even
on last night's show, is howgood, how how good of a show
can we have? Even in thissuccess? How can we get better?
What could we have done better inretrospect? What would be? You know
what I love? You know what? You know what made me tear up
lately was there was something about thatBuckeye game last Saturday versus Wisconsin, that

(01:01:22):
halftime and I was in it too, right, I fucking love the Buckeyes.
Fourteen years in LA has not shiftedmy love for the Buckeyes at all.
Through and through I'll wake up becauseThe times are wacky out there.
Sometimes it's a noon game, youhave to be up at nine am.
Michigan. You gotta be up atnine am. It's Christmas morning for me.
By the way, every Michigan gameI'm the I set my alarm because

(01:01:45):
that's on a Saturday, Fridays orlate nights for a guy like me.
Man, you know what I mean. I get home three or four am
sometimes if everybody's hanging at the comedystore. But that alarm set, it
goes off. Anyway. I knewit when game was twenty one seven and
a halftime, and I mean,who knows anything in sports, nobody,
but I fucking knew that we werenot going to let them score again.

(01:02:08):
I'm watching the guys do their commentaryat halftime, even Urban Meyer, like
they gotta figure it out, theygotta, they gotta. And it hit
me, now, this is adifferent. This isn't even Urban's Buckeyes.
This is a different. There's somethingabout this Ryan Day guy. This says
a winner. Man. And whatdoes he do? Is he panicking?
Is he out there yelling with steamcoming out of his ears? No,

(01:02:29):
He's looking at every single little tinyadjustment that he can make things that didn't
go as planned this day on thisteam, and how he can do better.
It's not about sometimes the passion,it's not about the heart. Sometimes
it's about all of these things andexecuting. And that's really championship stuff.

(01:02:51):
Absolutely anyway, that's a fun pummyin coach. Can they be Clemson?
They will absolutely loot me. Wecan beat Clemson. Come on, man,
I'm asking him this going on overhere. We got everybody, We're
taking everybody. This is our yearcompete with Clemson Alabama. Look, am

(01:03:15):
I excited about the national championship beingin New Orleans and this ll US you
team looking how they're looking. Imean, it ain't pretty. I don't
I wouldn't want to go, youknow. I wouldn't want to have a
boxing match with Boom Boom in Youngstown. I don't. I don't want to
have an I don't want to facell us You in New Orleans. But
I mean, I'm telling you tobe the best. You gotta beat the

(01:03:36):
best and beat him in the backyard. That's right, all right? On
that note, you got me allfired up man here. Thank you you're
okay too, And such an honorto be here today. You were decorations
and yeah, I'll tell you thesame thing I told Joe Rogan on his

(01:03:59):
podcast past two days ago, isthat you know, you're the only thing
that could have hit me up anddragged me out of my mom's my mom's
uh vat of spaghetti sauce. Ilive for that stuff. She sends it
to me. My mom makes suchgood sauce that she freezes it in a
blox. Yeah, sends it acrossthe country. Now, you know,
I got that these guys that andMike said, you know, you gotta

(01:04:21):
get Tony on and these guys,and I said, absolutely, you know
I'd love it. But they comeup to the idea and they brought up
to me and so I can't takeMike and everyone heres. So but uh,
I mean, all right, brother, we we we like, we
like to push it a little alittle bit, but we like because we
like to go out on a highnote. You know what, Snatch never

(01:04:43):
did Encourse, right, Frank,Snatch never did Encore because you always want
to leave them wanting a little bitmore. So that's what we're gonna do
today. Next time won't be onTuesday. I'll be out of town after
that. We're not going to dothe break for Christmas. What it is
gonna be the friend last year afterChristmas afternoon year right, Okay, the
year? What is it, Mike, that's it. We're going off on

(01:05:03):
a high note, man. Sosee it's the beginning of next year,
the beginning of another round to raiseboom boom room. Uh. If you
like it, please tell your friends. If you don't, keep it to
yourself, NOI s any Yeah,but appreciate you tuning in. Hopefully the
first Tuesday after the new year,we'll be back. So until that,

(01:05:25):
take care of each other and loveeach other. Good night and God blessed.