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February 26, 2025 • 27 mins
Cristyana and Coach Wanda Harris introduce the episode and share Coach Wanda's background. They delve into the book's intriguing title and concept, exploring the origin and impact of "dagger words" on relationships. The discussion offers practical communication tips for avoiding and replacing these harmful words, emphasizing the importance of perspective and authentic conversations. Coach Wanda shares the inspiration behind writing the book and where listeners can find it. The episode highlights the resources available at Templeofthespirit.org, including classes on dagger words. It concludes with thoughts on the evolving nature of language and closing reflections.
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Episode Transcript

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(00:00):
Itself is it's not a long book.
It's, short, so it's easy to get through, butthen it it takes a little longer to fully
digest.
You can come in and you can come out and readit again multiple times to really absorb
wherever you're at right now.
Welcome to another episode of Reading Betweenthe Words.
And today, you see, if you're watching thevideo, we have two guests with us.

(00:21):
We have Christiana and we have coach Wanda, andthey're gonna talk about their book.
And I'm gonna let you say the title and tell uswhat it's about.
Very good.
We're so glad to be here.
As me and Chrissy start to really, move throughthis, you know, you may hear us maybe pause a
moment because then we're digesting informationthat's coming through.
So I'm Wanda and, Wanda Harris, actually.

(00:45):
I I just my my whole name.
I never really liked to use the whole name, butyes.
And, we have a book called Dagger Words, and,we can get more into that.
But let me tell you a little bit about me.
I, appear to be a coach to some people.
They call me by different names, an energycoach, a business coach, a life coach.
And I kind of, like, discard the namecompletely, and I'm going to use the nameless

(01:09):
technique coach because then you don't have aname.
You can really call it whatever you want.
It feels like it's different for differentpeople or it represents different things for
the person.
It really kind of anchors them into who theyare, their authentic self in their space of
being.
And, quite formally, that's what I do besides,creating other projects or, you know, raising

(01:34):
humanity's consciousness.
And it's I it's I'm a multitasking person.
I guess it's we all are.
And, what else can I say about me?
When people ask me about me, I go, wow.
I I get a chance to talk about me and then moveaway from you.
I like to hear about everybody else.
Yet I, I guess what happens here is that I'mwilling to move people beyond what they think

(01:55):
is true about them, the the veil of illusionthat covers the truth about them to moving them
to the real authentic truth about them.
So with that being said, I'm going to, pass itover to Christy to tell you a little bit about
her.
We can move through the book.
Alright.
So I'm Christiana.

(02:16):
I am, so intrigued by communication and howpeople talk to each other.
I, I did graphic design for a lot of yearsbecause communication through images, through
words, it's just all fascinating to me.
And I've done such a journey through differentteachers, different coaches, just to hear what

(02:40):
people think about the different ways that wecommunicate.
And Wanda and I met, through a mutual friend,and there was an instant connection.
And once we started talking, I realized that wewere very in sync and it we could delve down
these wonderful rabbit holes of topics andconversations.

(03:03):
And we did that for a while and kinda tooknotes.
And one day, it was like, hey.
Why don't we write a little book?
And so, dagger words, the art of consciousdeflection, came into fruition.
And it's it's a pretty cool little tidbit forfor deep thinking.

(03:24):
Awesome.
So for those who are gonna watch this on video,can you show us the book and what it looks
like?
We can
both show it.
It's fun to do double books.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
It's so fun to do it that way.
And, you know, what Dagger Words is and, youknow, and the reason why we, came up with it or
it kinda came up with us.

(03:45):
I always say that either a thing chooses youand you chooses it.
This really, we didn't really see this coming.
And it was quite after a little while, youknow, me and Chrissy doing sessions together.
And, I don't know.
Chrissy doesn't call me a, hey, her coach.
She might can say, hey.
This is my inner guidance.
I don't know.
But either way, it's you know, it really cameout of us having the one on one sessions.

(04:11):
And we like I said, we didn't see it coming.
We just knew communication was very importantto people when we are engaging in a
conversation.
We're always listening, hearing, and givingfeedback, and we found out that certain words
have a we call it dagger because it's almostlike a word you may hear or a phrase you may

(04:33):
hear.
It may you may feel like, oh, it feels likemaybe an attack on your energy or doesn't feel
uprising to you.
And we felt that using a a book called DaggerWords, people can really start to realize when
they hear the words or they partake in givingthe words to someone else, they really wanna be

(04:54):
aware.
We want them to be aware of what those wordscan do because we talk to each other all the
time.
We want to inspire with words.
We call something in the book luminouscommunication, where what you're saying really
allows a person to have an aspiring moment, a,a moment that feels really, an uprise in the

(05:19):
conversation.
Because you can really pitch into about whatdagger words mean to you.
This is what what we came up with it.
You know?
So yeah.
It's kind of a to me, it's a thought workbook.
It's, it's something where everybody has theirown dagger words depending on, you know, what
has happened in their life and theirperception.

(05:40):
And it may be something that you talk tosomeone and you walk away, and you're like, I
don't know.
That rubbed me the wrong way.
And then you go to bed, and you're stillthinking about it.
And you wake up, and you're still thinkingabout it.
And you're like, was it even really a big deal?
Like, why why do I feel this way?
But what we found is that when you dig kind ofinto those conversations, you can see a a

(06:00):
pattern, and a feeling.
And then once you are aware, you can you know,you take notes, you come back, and you're like,
oh, okay.
So is this a self judgment?
Is am I feeling that I'm being judged?
Is, just kind of deciphering your own filtersfor conversation.

(06:20):
Yeah.
That's really great.
Yeah.
Because I know there's some I have familymembers that sometimes you can say the same
thing to them, but it's on a different day.
And that different day, it just sparks a firelike you wouldn't believe.
And it's like, woah, where did that come from?
We just talked about this couple of weeks agoand there was none of this.

(06:44):
And, that's interesting you were thinking aboutthat and and and you've, come up with something
to help people to say, Oh, maybe it's me.
Maybe this person didn't intend it that way.
Getting a different perspective to look atthings.
That's very curious.

(07:04):
What are some of the things we can expect inthe book when we when we get it?
Well, we had a chapter.
Like I said, they they have different chaptersin the book, but there's a chapter in the book
called, the common dagger words and phrases.
And, you know, I'm just reading this a littlebit from what this is, learning how to identify
the feelings of the wounded effect.

(07:24):
We really use a wounded effect means it'll showyou when you hear a certain word or phrase, it
feels like a wound.
Like, oh my goodness.
Oh, I I I gotta really defend myself.
I have to really, overexplain myself.
I have to overexpress ourselves, and we reallydon't have to do that in conversations when we
really, really get a chance to allow, the theauthentic way of speaking or oh, oh, oh, I say

(07:51):
how we want to really engage with someone.
Because usually, in a conversation, we reallydon't want it to be, just you, just you
speaking or them speaking.
You want it to be a we we, a joining.
And to join in a conversation, we really wantto look at or be able to understand what a

(08:13):
wounded effect word or phrase may be.
So, with that being said, you know, here's somecertain phrases.
We have some too that we've written down.
The word should.
When you hear the word should, it feels like,you are projected you you're projected from an
expectation.
Okay.
You should be doing that.

(08:34):
I'm I'm just gonna say, Alice, you should belistening here.
So it automatically doesn't feel really,engaging.
Right?
Like, okay.
I gotta listen.
It's a projected expectation.
The word, bad.
Totally wrong.
You know, you when you hear that, you go intothinking totally wrong.

(08:55):
So there are many different ways that daggerwords, can really they have the effect on
really aspiring you or despiring you, which Ijust made that word up right there.
So, yeah, it gives us a chance to be really,conscious.
And here's a phrase that and then Chrissy couldtake over from this part too because we have a

(09:17):
lot going on here in this.
When you hear why are you doing that, why areyou doing that?
Why are you doing that?
Now people may think that really feels reallygood to them, but when you really sit with that
and you're with someone, it feels like ajudgment.
Why are you doing that?
Now instead of saying why are you doing that,what about this?

(09:39):
What motivated you to do that?
You see?
It's a different swing.
It doesn't sound it's not a dagger, or what'sthe inspiration behind you choosing that?
Very pretty good.
And even what you're saying there is whatmotivated you, people can still say, well, what

(09:59):
do you mean what motivated?
I just want to do it.
But to where you say, what inspired you?
Inspire is just an uplifting word and what adifference it makes right there.
Yes.
Yes.
It it makes a huge difference.
And me and Chrissy and Chrissy get, you know,in the top typing and just yeah.
It it really does.

(10:20):
You really want to have an inspired or a unisonconversation.
That's what we all want.
Even though we had the veil of illusion ofthinking, okay, I'm not I don't mean what I
just said.
Truly, you you don't really mean, well, whydidn't you do something different or what made
you do that?
You really don't mean it in that way.

(10:41):
Right.
Well, I
mean, I
didn't realize you're a person who'smisunderstood.
Yes.
I'm always having conversations, and I I don'tfeel like people hear what I'm trying to say.
Be like, the daggers, it may not just be thatyou are the receiver.
It could be that you you need to listen toyourself and how are you phrasing things when
you ask people.

(11:01):
What is and it may not be the words.
It may be your tone.
It's, so it's not just for, you know, the thevictim that's, you know, oh, they weren't very
nice to me.
It's a, hey.
I'm trying to move up in my business world, orI'm having trouble in my family.
And I want them to really hear what I have tosay.

(11:23):
So just taking a moment to think through thewords that you're saying and how some of them
can affect other people as well.
Yeah.
So true.
So true.
I know one of the things when my husband and Iwent to counseling, it was it's the way that
we're saying things to each other without evenrealizing that we have that tone in our voice.

(11:44):
Yes.
And so, you know, we were told, okay, thisthere's ways to say, wow, that was pretty
harsh.
Is that how you meant that?
And, you know, because there could be otherthings going in our life that we don't realize
we're carrying that over to a differentconversation.
So those are really great you're bringing
saying and he doesn't hear it's harsh or ifyou're saying and you don't hear that it's

(12:07):
harsh and they are taking it as harsh, thenthat that in order to be able to communicate
back and forth, that becomes luminouscommunication where, okay, I hear you, what
you're saying, but this is what I'm reallyhearing when you say it like that.
And just doing that back and forth, and andthis is just a piece of being able to to figure
that out.

(12:28):
Wow.
You have a lot packed into that book.
It may not be a very big book, but it has a bigmessage in it.
Wow.
That's great.
Yes.
You know you know, I I think that since sincewe live in a world of constant communication,
we wanna really, have a way of engaging, and,we don't want others to feel separate from the

(12:57):
conversation.
It's all you know, you know, we're here tocreate a vision of unison.
We really do want that.
And that's the case, we would just be here orjust us.
Just one of us.
But it's all of us.
It's the world of everybody.
Yeah.
So we really want to, be able to have others toreally respond in a way that is going to,
engage someone in feeling, I guess, in their inthe greatest version of themselves.

(13:24):
You know?
We we want that.
We really do.
And we we wanna be conscious.
And, like, you were just giving the example ofyou and your husband.
You you guys didn't mean it that way, but itwas such an unconscious, way of being that we
don't realize it.
We don't realize how unconscious that we arehaving a conversation from an unconscious way

(13:50):
of being.
And when we when we have that, people can feel,attacked and, you know, antagonistic.
Did you really mean that?
This is where all of that, dialogue comes from.
You didn't mean what you said.
Oh, I must have not said it this way.
I always say this I always say this to, not myclients, but I call them miracle wait mates.

(14:11):
I always say taste your words before you speakthem.
Taste them.
Don't do all that yet.
Taste them.
Yes.
Because you're gonna think it will you willstop in your tracks and think, do I let me
taste this.
How does this what does this word taste like?
Yeah.
You could really get a chance to know tastethem before you speak, you know, before you

(14:34):
speak them.
And and a lot of times, you'll be able toswitch around something because you the taste
of it.
Yeah.
But we have to stop.
But to pause.
Yeah.
We have to pause.
So
Yeah.
And not not react.
You know?
It's so easy when somebody, eithermisunderstands us or or comes at us with

(14:58):
something harsh and we could return, you know,and maybe be justified in returning in the same
way, in the same kind.
So we need to be conscious, taste our wordslike you were saying.
It's like, I don't want this to escalate.
I don't want this to be harsh.
So I'm gonna be conscious of the words that Iuse and and reply nodding kind, but how would I

(15:23):
want to be spoken to?
Yes.
Very much.
Yes.
Because it it's a it's a, it's a trickle downeffect if you Yes.
We we wanna be able to merge with with withothers.
Why why get together?
You know, I always say, no.
If you what's the purpose?
And I always ask and this is you know?

(15:43):
And I we can give some takeaway too for, thepeople that's listening.
And maybe that's what me and Christy wassaying, maybe this week for people that's
listening, just be conscious of when you hearwords coming at you and what you're saying.
Right, Christy?
That would be something that they can probablytake
away from.
Of others.
If you feel that you're not being heard forwhat you're trying to say, watch people.

(16:06):
Watch how they're reacting to you and howyou're reacting to them.
Yeah.
Very good.
Very good.
It can it it can just be of something thatbecause you it's not hard, but it's kinda
probably difficult to switch it altogetheruntil you really get a chance to play with it.

(16:27):
We must play in the discovery zone with it tosee, to feel, to hear.
You just wanna take notice this week, because,once you start taking notice, you're gonna
start to be aware, and taking notice bringsawareness.
Mhmm.
Can't can't do without without taking notice.
Can't there's no awareness going on.

(16:49):
That's right.
So where can we find your book?
Chrissy, you wanna, So
if you go to Amazon.com and you search daggerwords, it's right there.
Awesome.
That's awesome.
I love this.
Wow.
So you two were talking and you came up withthis, this term and you came up with this book.

(17:15):
Was there more inspiration behind it?
I mean, kinda give me a little bit more of theprocess of what was happening when when you
came up with this title and what you reallywanted the reader to get out of it.
Well, so we originally started talking about,just from the the sessions that we were doing,

(17:40):
coming up with ideas that we wanted to delvefurther into, just to exchange those thoughts
and communicate and see how far we could gowith that concept.
And so we just we took notes for months just oneverything that we talked about and kind of

(18:00):
just going back to that.
Be aware be aware of what you're talking about.
So that's what we're doing.
We're being so aware that we're taking notes onit and thinking, is there is there a group of
thoughts that can come together in this enoughto share with someone?
And when we went back and read through it, thedagger would they've it really stood out as,
like, man, this is a nugget that someone canjust take with them, and let's start there.

(18:23):
Nice.
Very nice.
Mhmm.
Mhmm.
Yeah.
We were, and it was organic.
Like I said before, you know, a lot of timeswe're in conversations, and I would say,
Christy and I share in Luminess communicationsall the time in what we're doing here, with you
also, Alice.
And in in that, we're just clearly, having adialogue with the authentic part of our

(18:50):
consciousness.
So we don't really set up a a a format whereyou're gonna really fall into the dagger word
of fact.
We are able to, use words to inspire, to moveyou to your authentic self and experiencing a
luminous communication.
It can be on anything.
We're having one right now.

(19:12):
Right.
That's right.
It's so natural.
We're having one right now.
And when that happens, as we were her and Iwere, doing sessions together, we realized that
in the session itself, the words that I wouldhave to choose, I would have to download them
and get a pause, think about them.
What I mean is the inner download I'm talkingabout.

(19:36):
And there were words that I felt that were werecoming across that were not appropriate.
I do that with my sessions all the time.
So, therefore, it already had started a stageof what a dagger word was.
So and then when her and I moved into thisarena, it kind of organically wrote itself, and
we saw it.

(19:57):
And if it's not a word that doesn't feel,luminous, then we retract the word because you
can feel it in yourself first.
Like I said, you have to taste the words beforeyou speak them.
And once people start doing that, getting awareof it, then they'll be able to know that, I
wanna really switch that where it feels okayfor me to give and, you know, to give this to

(20:19):
someone.
Because giving and receiving is the same thing,actually.
People don't realize it is, but, yeah, it is.
And, yeah.
So that's how we came up with it.
And we want the reader to, because it's it'snot like I said, a big book, you know, and, you
know, they can really take some takeaways rightaway.
They can really start to, look at theirconversations and be able to have more joyous

(20:45):
communication with everybody they're withinstead of someone may say, what did you mean
by that?
And, what does that have to do with it?
So it'll be able to, allow them to have a moreconnectedness because we we communicate all the
time.
We need it.
We need it.
Well, we need it everywhere, but we do need itthere.
Uh-uh.
So that's what we want to read it to read it toget, to get used to having this communication

(21:12):
with everybody, with their mate, with theiremployers, employees, their friends.
Even if you go into the grocery store, have itwith everybody because everybody is
communicating about something.
Everywhere we go, it's chatter.
That's right.
That's right.
And I think it's important to remember that noteverybody comes from the same place and some

(21:34):
people have a very different perspective onthings than we do.
And and taking that into consideration, Ithink, makes for a much more interesting
conversation.
Yes.
Yes.
I agree.
You because oh, in that so while you're havinga Luminess, this is just a a little step
further.
In that Luminess communication, it starts tobuild up in a place of, yes, aspiring,

(22:01):
motivation, intriguing, and it starts to I'mI'm glad you shared that.
It starts to really build up a conversation ofits own because you don't have those, little
gremlins running around thinking they're, youknow, trying to, attack you, trying to yeah.
So in that smoothness, that's thank you forsharing that.

(22:22):
In that smoothness of it, then things grow anddevelop just organically.
You'd be surprised because we we're not who wethink we are in conversations.
We just But the more authentic
the more authentic a conversation can get, itdoes get more interesting because then it's not
just the the surface blah blah blah that's,like you say, chatter.

(22:45):
It becomes, oh, I am really talking with you.
I am hearing you.
I am talking to you.
Let's let's see what we can get out of thiscommunication.
Let's let's delve.
It feels good.
It's like it's like the sauce.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's it's like the sauce.
It's you know?
But like I said, when we when we met you, ityou know, you stayed in, you know, my presence

(23:09):
just as well.
And because it just felt organic justnaturally.
You know?
We it's in unison.
You find so many pieces to that, but that iswhat the book is about.
So I'm I we want the readers to really, reallyget a chance to enjoy all of it because there's
so much more in the book.
You know?
Like, there we we have a we have a chapter onLuminess Communication, what that is.

(23:30):
How do you how do you really deflect daggers?
We have that too because you can deflect it tooonce you're aware of it.
So that's the conversation, you know, thedeflection of the dagger word.
So it's really profound.
Oh, that's awesome.
That is awesome.
So are there any last thoughts you want toshare with our our audience today?

(23:52):
Let me see.
Yes.
If they can just, start in the communication towith these these are the two steps they can
also choose.
What is the perp you know, not what is thepurpose, but what is the benefit of the
conversation with the person I'm speaking tofor them, and what is beneficial for me in

(24:12):
this?
And then you can find out you know, they canreally start to really see how that
Nice.
Brings harmony.
Yeah.
I do that when I, yeah, for everybody,actually.
Because I I have to think of Unison.
If they can just use those two pointers thereand just notice what words are coming and just
be aware, they can start on a a new path ofdiscovery.

(24:34):
Yes.
A new path of discovery.
And and and you know what?
And I've forgotten this part.
People are gonna wanna be with you.
They're gonna wanna hang out with you more.
I forgot.
But now there there may be someone who goes, Idon't really wanna hang out with the people,
and this is not for you.
Yes.
They gonna wanna really hang out with you more.
You know?
They're gonna really they wanna you'll see.
Yeah.

(24:54):
It encourages.
Right, Chrissy?
They're gonna wanna hang out with you more.
And yeah.
Because it's gonna be like, okay.
Like, we're just one in this instead of meversus you where you yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Sure.
Any takeaway, Chrissy, you wanna you couldwhatever you wanna think is necessary.
Well, I will say that all of our littlecommunication tidbits, they're kind of like,

(25:18):
you know, a puzzle.
It's like, oh, what's going on?
Oh, let's move this over here and this overhere.
And that came together for us in something thatwe call Temple of the Spirit.
And so our website is actuallytempleofthespirit.org.
And if anybody ever, has further questions orwanted to be able to delve into these
conversations with us, they could reach usthrough, spiritofthetemple.org or temple sorry.

(25:43):
Templeofspirit.org.
Temple of
spirit Org.
Temple of spirit Org.
And we're also gonna be doing classes, withthis.
It's gonna be fun, you know, dagger words.
If they're interested, they can let us know tooat the, website, templeofthespirit.org because
we are creating, classes on on dagger words sothey can have a chance to play.
Then come play.
Come play in the field of of the language, thenew language, and I guarantee you will be some

(26:07):
words they never heard before.
We're gonna make up at random.
Okay.
Yes.
They'll think that's so random because randomwords come out all the time, and we wanna
really support that because, you know, they arethey they have they have insight.
You know?
All the words haven't been developed.
That's right.
Not everything.
We're here.
Yeah.
But yeah.
So Yeah.

(26:27):
Webster's big dictionary would be much biggernow with all the new words that
we need.
I know.
Right?
Just new words.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Well, thank you both so much for being here onthe show today.
And I look forward to your book and ouraudience.
Go to Amazon.com to get dagger words or go totempleofthespirit.org.

(26:51):
And we'll talk to you next time here on ReadingBetween the Words.
And I just want to announce that mygranddaughter's book, Do Not Take My Leaves, is
now available on paperback on Amazon.
So we'll see you next time on Reading Betweenthe Words.
Thank you for joining us.
We'll see you next time on Reading Between theWords.
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