November 20, 2025 • 15 mins
Some retirees have more money than they ever imagined… and still feel guilty buying the $5 M&Ms.
This episode is for the lifelong savers who nailed the retirement planning side—maxed out accounts, invested consistently, hit their “number”—but feel stuck when it’s time to actually spend. James and Ari share real client stories of multimillionaires who still walk past convenience to save a few dollars, not because they need to… but because the “always save” habit is so deeply wired in.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
- Why it’s so hard to shift from accumulator to spender
- How a scarcity mindset can follow you into a very comfortable retirement
- The “M&M moment” that exposed just how powerful old money habits can be
- Simple ways to practice guilt-free, intentional spending that aligns with your values
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Is it really okay to spend this in retirement?” this conversation will help you see your money as a tool for memories, not just a balance sheet number.
-
Advisory services are offered through Root Financial Partners, LLC, an SEC-registered investment adviser. This content is intended for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered personalized investment, tax, or legal advice. Viewing this content does not create an advisory relationship. We do not provide tax preparation or legal services. Always consult an investment, tax or legal professional regarding your specific situation.
The strategies, case studies, and examples discussed may not be suitable for everyone. They are hypothetical and for illustrative and educational purposes only. They do not reflect actual client results and are not guarantees of future performance. All investments involve risk, including the potential loss of principal.
Comments reflect the views of individual users and do not necessarily represent the views of Root Financial. They are not verified, may not be accurate, and should not be considered testimonials or endorsements
Participation in the Retirement Planning Academy or Early Retirement Academy does not create an advisory relationship with Root Financial. These programs are educational in nature and are not a substitute for personalized financial advice. Advisory services are offered only under a written agreement with Root Financial.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
If I give you three million dollars right now, would
you be upset?
Of course not.
Do you think many people wouldbe upset?
I hope not.
I would hope not as well.
But one thing that happened is Iasked a woman, hey, tell me
about your retirement.
And she said she's really upset.
She had three million dollars.
I said, Well, that's interestingbecause there's a lot of people
I know who would love to havethree million dollars.
(00:22):
And I just want to learn moreabout that.
And she said, you just don't getit.
I said, that's correct.
Do you mind sharing?
And she shared, well, I nolonger have the ability to
travel to the degree I wantbecause my health isn't in a
great position.
I said, okay.
So why don't I'm thinking in myhead, why don't you fly a first
class then?
You have saved well.
She goes, Yeah, you're missingthe point.
(00:42):
If I had$2 million, I could havedone everything I wanted in
retirement.
And so I'm trying to connect thedots.
I'm a younger advisor at thispoint, still going, okay, well,
she has 3 million.
I know she says 2 million isokay.
What am I missing?
And she said, I just worked thelast five years and markets did
well.
So my 2 million became 3million.
(01:02):
And I was sitting the entiretime.
And I want to be able to hikeand travel.
And I remember her telling meabout her big goals and how now
she's just not able to do them.
And it really struck me ashere's someone who saved and
invested well, arguably toowell, who now cannot do all the
things she wanted to do, eventhough financially she's in a
good position.
(01:22):
So what we're talking abouttoday is how do we switch that
mindset from being a saver to aspender?
And how do we think about maybethe efficient time to do so?
SPEAKER_01 (01:32):
Yeah, there's nothing that's, I shouldn't say
there's nothing set out of it.
There's many things had it, butthere, there, there is something
you meet these clients, you meetwith these people, they've saved
a tremendous amount of moneyover the course of their
lifetime, but their lives fromthe outside look like they have
no money.
And it's not necessarily adeliberate choice, it's just
this uh scarcity mindsetsometimes.
These people that have saved somuch, they've done so by saying
(01:55):
no to the things they'veactually wanted to do along the
way.
And there's varying degrees ofhow extreme this shows up in
people's lives.
I would say for most people,it's not that extreme.
I remember I have some greatuncles.
I've only heard stories of them,I never actually met them, but
the the types of people thattake napkins home from
restaurants because that was anapkin they could then use at
home.
And like their whole house wasjust these knickknacks of random
(02:17):
things.
They thought, oh, we can if weonly have to use half the
napkin, we can take the otherhalf and we can save it for a
rainy.
And they end up passing with alot of money, but their lives,
they never did anything withthem.
I shouldn't say anything.
They didn't do anything from thestandpoint of what we can
actually do to pursue what'simportant to us, to have fun, to
pursue adventure, to pursuemeaning and purpose and all the
(02:40):
things that are actuallyworthwhile to do.
And I think too often forpeople, there's a sense that
money becomes the goal, theaccumulation of money becomes
the goal.
And at some point, we're goingto magically hit this point
where everything feels morecomfortable and easier and we've
arrived.
I think at a certain point youstart to realize this arrival
fallacy.
You never actually arriveanywhere.
(03:01):
You never actually feel anydifferent anywhere.
So it's about how do you startdeveloping the right habits,
developing the right rhythms todo the things you want to do
now?
How do you make sure thatwhatever your mindset is and
your actions are, like they'rethey're bringing you closer to
where you want to be?
And where this really hit mefirst, I remember I was meeting
with a couple of clients who arewonderful people.
(03:22):
They had done well, both havebuilt and sold businesses, and
they had quite a bit of money.
And they had just recentlyretired and we were going
through some projections.
And they said, Yeah, we'd loveto be able to do this, and we'd
love to be able to do that, andwe'd um ideally like to be able
to spend this on a monthly basisand then this for trips and all
this stuff.
And we said, Great, great,great, ran the projections.
(03:42):
And what we actually saw is notonly could they do all that, but
they were projected to have uhnot even a fortune left over at
the end of their lifetime,simply because even after all
that, after all the spendingthat they're projected to do,
like the their portfolio isgoing to outpace their spending.
And so they saw that, and it waslike uh a complete revelation of
(04:07):
them, oh my goodness, we canactually go spend more than we
were thinking we could.
We can actually do more thanwhat we had ever imagined.
And the feedback was yes,absolutely, and it was exciting.
We wrapped up the meeting and wethought the job done.
They feel permission to spend,they can go ahead and do it.
They happened to be vacationingin San Diego, I think it was
like a couple weeks after, nottoo long after, and we got
together for lunch.
(04:28):
And we were getting together forlunch, and they said, you know,
Jimmy, we just had that meetingwhere you closed by telling us
go do whatever you want to do.
You know, these trips that youwant to take, these things you
want to do, permission to do allof them.
You have the portfolio the meansto do it.
In fact, please go spend itbecause you you're in a position
where it can be fully supported.
(04:48):
They told me that they said,Well, the the the first night we
were on vacation, we got back toour room, we got back to our
hotel room, and we just haddinner, and the husband is like,
I kind of want like a little bitof a sweet, I want something.
And so I went to the hotel minibar and there's MMs there.
And I grabbed that bag of MMsbecause that felt like the
craving that I wanted, you know,it was perfect for that.
(05:09):
And as I pull it up, I see on alittle menu there MMs five
dollars.
And I thought to myself, that'scrazy for the bag of MMs.
He thought this to himself,that's crazy the bag of MMs cost
five dollars.
Um I'm gonna put this down, I'mgonna walk however many blocks
it is to a 7-Eleven and get abag of MMs for$50 instead.
(05:32):
And he did that, and he cameback to me and he's like, it's
something like why on earthafter you had literally just
finished telling us we could doso much more with our money,
could I not bring myself to endan extra few bucks for a bag of
MMs?
And you can argue, well, cool,you got to go on a walk and get
(05:54):
the MMs, he's not a sucker, he'sgonna, he's not gonna over you
can make whatever argument youwant.
I'm not saying he should have orshouldn't have it, as much as if
that would have been moreconvenient, if that would have
been more time that he couldhave spent there, if that would
have why not?
What is that mental blocker thatprevents us from being able to
actually use what we've workedfor to do whatever we want,
(06:18):
whether that's convenience,whether that's travel, whether
that's giving, like whatever'sactually most important to us.
It was this interesting uh storythat really clicked for them and
really clicked for me that noamount of money automatically
changes your mindset and makesyou a different person.
And yes, we need to work to getto that position.
I wanted to make that messageloud and clear.
(06:40):
If you're don't have anysavings, this the mess this
message isn't for you.
The message of yeah, learn howto go spent.
You probably're you're probablyfine there.
This is the message for peoplethat have prioritized savings,
prioritized investments to thenth degree, and now have trouble
getting themselves to spend,there's a psychological shift
that happens there.
(07:00):
And that's a big part of what wesee and work with clients that
uh a good retirement plan isreally built upon is learning to
exercise that new muscle ofspending the money, not just
spending frivolously, not justspending in a wasteful way.
Don't no one wants to be thatsucker that just spends money to
spend money.
But if you can spend moneybecause in some ways it adds to
your quality of life, it's notgoing to go with you when you're
(07:23):
gone.
So let's make sure we're usingit for something good while
we're here.
SPEAKER_00 (07:27):
So powerful.
And James, I very rarelydisagree with you, but I
remember being in a clientmeeting and you had shared
something that made me go, maybethis guy's just not as smart as
I thought he was.
Now I knew you very well at thispoint, but you had said, I want
you to focus on your health.
So I go, okay, James wants theclients to focus on their health
and buy MMs.
And I went, look, I'm not somenutritionist, but those don't
(07:51):
add up.
And then you went on to sharethis story and how they saved
well and they could buy the MMs.
And at the end of that meeting,they went, okay, I got it.
So I can buy the MMs, and if Idon't, I'm still gonna be okay.
And really, no matter what I do,I'm gonna be okay.
But wow, I have the ability todo so.
And what was so powerful in thismeeting, and I have a story as
well to share on this thatreally made me go, wow, here's
(08:12):
how we help our clients do thisis in your Root Ready podcast,
where it's designed foradvisors.
I know there are root clientsthat listen and potential
clients that listen, you sharehow do you be the best advisor.
And you once told me, and yousaid it very nicely, you said,
Hey, Ari, the most powerfulthing an advisor can do is
listen and know when to shut up.
(08:33):
And there was a meeting I hadwith a client, and I had shared
similar feedback.
You're in a good financialposition.
And by the way, everyonelistening, James and I both
recognize if you are a greatspender, you're probably a key
word there, probably not in agreat position to retire early
because you're great atspending.
Maybe you are, have a greatbalance and you're one of the
(08:54):
few.
But we recognize you cutting thecoupons and being a great saver
has got you to this positionwhere you can retire.
We don't want you to be anoverspender.
We want you to be a successfulspender.
So I'm in the meeting with thisclient and they said, and I
quote, How on earth could I lookat life from the position of no
matter what I do, pretty muchI'll be okay.
(09:15):
And that was the truth.
If they didn't buy a privatejet, you know, that would throw
off their retirement plans.
But outside of that, they hadsaved and invested so well and
they just did not expect theirbusiness to do what it did.
So I said, What would you do ifI forced you to spend X number
of dollars?
And they just kept saying, Idon't know.
It was almost like it was anoverwhelming question.
Almost like it would have beeneasier for them to go back to
(09:36):
work instead of answer thequestion I just asked them.
And I said, Oh, great, thenwe're gonna sit in silence until
you come up with something.
This is your time to think andit's not pressuring.
I'll sit here for an hour.
Um, and I remember they finallysaid, you know, I don't know if
this is the answer you'relooking for.
And I paused them, I said, I'mnot looking for any answer, but
I do want to make sure you'renot mad at me later in life when
(09:58):
you have plenty of money wishingyou did more.
And they said, I remember when Iwas in my 20s and someone bought
groceries for me.
And that just meant the world tome at that time.
And so I would buy the person'sgroceries behind me.
That's what I would do if I hadall the money.
And I said, Well, how amazing.
And they said, Oh, yeah, but nowthat's making me think maybe I
would do some other charitablethings.
(10:19):
So it finally got them thinking.
And it took me understandingwhen to shut up and be silent
and give someone the space toreally explore this, which you
talk about often in the RootReady podcast.
And so I think it's importantfor everyone to recognize you
don't have to have it allfigured out.
And if you are a good saver andnow you're in a position to
retire, we'll often use the MManalogy and we'll use the light
(10:42):
switch.
If you're retiring and nowyou're going, okay, I know I
need to spend more, you're not,I don't need you to think about
it like, well, I'm gonna flip aswitch and now I'm a great
spender.
It's more of like a dimmer.
It's gonna take some time to getused to spending more, and we'll
encourage someone not to sendfor the sake of spending, but
exercises and strategies there.
(11:03):
So I think that MM analogy ispowerful.
And I remember seeing the clientand thinking to myself, well,
James just told them to focus ontheir health and eat MMs.
What the heck is this guy aboutto say?
SPEAKER_01 (11:13):
The metaphorical MM.
You said two things that I'mgonna reinforce.
One is you, I think you saidjoking that's the this client
had a hard time thinking ifthey're what am I gonna spend,
it would actually be easier forthem to go back to work than it
would be to spend.
That's that's not exaggeration.
Like that's true.
I think for so many people, thissaving and investing and working
that gets hard at the beginning.
(11:34):
But once you have once you're inthat habit, once you're in that
routine, once you've learnedthat skill set, that's kind of
easy.
The harder thing is not spendingon what you want, it's even
knowing what you want in thefirst place.
So the second thing you said ofyeah, sometimes we as advisors
just need to shut up and letpeople kind of come to these
realizations themselves.
This is an exercise anyone cando right now.
(11:54):
Is if you have no idea what youwant to do in retirement, turn
this podcast off right now, graba piece of paper, and just
write.
Let thoughts bubble up.
It's not going to come to youright away.
We live in such a dizzy,distracted world.
If you see everyone else'sgoals, you see these
commercials, people aretraveling in retirement, they're
walking their dog through thewoods in retirement, they're
sitting on these uh Adiranduchairs, like whatever.
(12:16):
That's not your goal.
You've been messaged that somany times, but actually, what
do you want?
Is it buying groceries for theperson behind you at Trader
Joe's?
Is it taking your whole familyon a trip to the special place
you've always wanted to go to?
I mean, just sit and be quietwith your thoughts and think
through.
And this isn't even a retirementexercise.
(12:37):
This is a life exercise.
How do you live a goodretirement?
Well, you live a good life.
So, like, let's bypass theretirement piece.
There's the financial componentsof retirement planning that are
needed to support that.
But what do you want your lifeto look like?
The hard part isn't spending themoney, it's knowing what you
want to spend the money on.
And so that's a creative musclethat needs to be exercised.
(12:58):
That's an identity muscle thatneeds to be exercised of what do
I actually want to do?
And just think through if I wasgone today, if I were to pass
away today, what are the thingsI would regret not doing?
Something might not come upright away, but if I spend
enough time just staring at apiece of paper and writing it
down, I promise you, it'sprobably gonna be something
(13:19):
related to time with family,time with loved ones, time doing
things that you didn't make thetime to do.
Like what are those things?
And then how can our retirementstrategy become don't regret
those things, don't regret notdoing those things.
How do we spend our money insuch a way to do that?
So I think that that issomething that everyone can
(13:39):
learn from is the the shut uppiece, not just for advisors,
but as people, what can we do toreally understand where we want
to go uh so we can start todevelop the habits to get there?
SPEAKER_00 (13:50):
I pay a lot of money to go to physical therapy, and
this is something that I talkabout frequently.
I love playing soccer.
I go to a physical therapyoffice called Myodox, and their
slogan is future-proof yourbody.
And when you go there, they go,we do holistic physical therapy,
we look at your whole body, andthe first thing they say is our
job is to get you out of here asquick as possible.
(14:11):
I hope all of you guys like ourcontent.
I hope you resonate with it.
But if you're writing down onthat piece of paper, you've got
James in your head going, okay,I'm gonna leave this piece of
paper once I've got a few ideas.
I bet watching root financialYouTube content is probably not
at the top of the list.
Now, I hope you enjoy ourcontent, once again, but our
goal, as I see it, is to make itso you're living your best
(14:31):
retirement.
If that's scuba diving ortraveling or doing whatever it
is you want to do, that'sawesome.
I hope we give you theconfidence and tools to make
that the reality.
But similar to my physicaltherapy office, they don't want
me to come all the time.
They want me to go to playsoccer and do what I want to do.
That's how we view it.
So that's what we've got forthis episode.
Just a few stories thathopefully give you something to
(14:53):
think about.
Anything else you want to add,James?
No, I think that's it.
Thanks, already.
Awesome.
So, as always, guys, thesepodcasts drop bi-weekly on
iTunes, Spotify, Google,wherever you listen to your
podcasts.
They're also on YouTube.
So if you want to actually seeus talk and interact, you can
watch on Root Financial YouTubechannel.
On this channel, you can meetour advisors.
You can see all sorts ofcontent, and you might just find
(15:15):
one advisor, one piece ofcontent that really resonates
with you.
So if that's the case, please docomment below.
We make all of our topics basedoff what you share below.
So you can go ahead and drop acomment on YouTube, and we will
look to address that in a futureepisode.
That was a mouthful.
You can see James's content onYouTube, my content on YouTube,
and we will see you.
If I give you three million dollars right now, would
you be upset?
Of course not.
Do you think many people wouldbe upset?
I hope not.
I would hope not as well.
But one thing that happened is Iasked a woman, hey, tell me
about your retirement.
And she said she's really upset.
She had three million dollars.
I said, Well, that's interestingbecause there's a lot of people
I know who would love to havethree million dollars.
(00:22):
And I just want to learn moreabout that.
And she said, you just don't getit.
I said, that's correct.
Do you mind sharing?
And she shared, well, I nolonger have the ability to
travel to the degree I wantbecause my health isn't in a
great position.
I said, okay.
So why don't I'm thinking in myhead, why don't you fly a first
class then?
You have saved well.
She goes, Yeah, you're missingthe point.
(00:42):
If I had$2 million, I could havedone everything I wanted in
retirement.
And so I'm trying to connect thedots.
I'm a younger advisor at thispoint, still going, okay, well,
she has 3 million.
I know she says 2 million isokay.
What am I missing?
And she said, I just worked thelast five years and markets did
well.
So my 2 million became 3million.
(01:02):
And I was sitting the entiretime.
And I want to be able to hikeand travel.
And I remember her telling meabout her big goals and how now
she's just not able to do them.
And it really struck me ashere's someone who saved and
invested well, arguably toowell, who now cannot do all the
things she wanted to do, eventhough financially she's in a
good position.
(01:22):
So what we're talking abouttoday is how do we switch that
mindset from being a saver to aspender?
And how do we think about maybethe efficient time to do so?
SPEAKER_01 (01:32):
Yeah, there's nothing that's, I shouldn't say
there's nothing set out of it.
There's many things had it, butthere, there, there is something
you meet these clients, you meetwith these people, they've saved
a tremendous amount of moneyover the course of their
lifetime, but their lives fromthe outside look like they have
no money.
And it's not necessarily adeliberate choice, it's just
this uh scarcity mindsetsometimes.
These people that have saved somuch, they've done so by saying
(01:55):
no to the things they'veactually wanted to do along the
way.
And there's varying degrees ofhow extreme this shows up in
people's lives.
I would say for most people,it's not that extreme.
I remember I have some greatuncles.
I've only heard stories of them,I never actually met them, but
the the types of people thattake napkins home from
restaurants because that was anapkin they could then use at
home.
And like their whole house wasjust these knickknacks of random
(02:17):
things.
They thought, oh, we can if weonly have to use half the
napkin, we can take the otherhalf and we can save it for a
rainy.
And they end up passing with alot of money, but their lives,
they never did anything withthem.
I shouldn't say anything.
They didn't do anything from thestandpoint of what we can
actually do to pursue what'simportant to us, to have fun, to
pursue adventure, to pursuemeaning and purpose and all the
(02:40):
things that are actuallyworthwhile to do.
And I think too often forpeople, there's a sense that
money becomes the goal, theaccumulation of money becomes
the goal.
And at some point, we're goingto magically hit this point
where everything feels morecomfortable and easier and we've
arrived.
I think at a certain point youstart to realize this arrival
fallacy.
You never actually arriveanywhere.
(03:01):
You never actually feel anydifferent anywhere.
So it's about how do you startdeveloping the right habits,
developing the right rhythms todo the things you want to do
now?
How do you make sure thatwhatever your mindset is and
your actions are, like they'rethey're bringing you closer to
where you want to be?
And where this really hit mefirst, I remember I was meeting
with a couple of clients who arewonderful people.
(03:22):
They had done well, both havebuilt and sold businesses, and
they had quite a bit of money.
And they had just recentlyretired and we were going
through some projections.
And they said, Yeah, we'd loveto be able to do this, and we'd
love to be able to do that, andwe'd um ideally like to be able
to spend this on a monthly basisand then this for trips and all
this stuff.
And we said, Great, great,great, ran the projections.
(03:42):
And what we actually saw is notonly could they do all that, but
they were projected to have uhnot even a fortune left over at
the end of their lifetime,simply because even after all
that, after all the spendingthat they're projected to do,
like the their portfolio isgoing to outpace their spending.
And so they saw that, and it waslike uh a complete revelation of
(04:07):
them, oh my goodness, we canactually go spend more than we
were thinking we could.
We can actually do more thanwhat we had ever imagined.
And the feedback was yes,absolutely, and it was exciting.
We wrapped up the meeting and wethought the job done.
They feel permission to spend,they can go ahead and do it.
They happened to be vacationingin San Diego, I think it was
like a couple weeks after, nottoo long after, and we got
together for lunch.
(04:28):
And we were getting together forlunch, and they said, you know,
Jimmy, we just had that meetingwhere you closed by telling us
go do whatever you want to do.
You know, these trips that youwant to take, these things you
want to do, permission to do allof them.
You have the portfolio the meansto do it.
In fact, please go spend itbecause you you're in a position
where it can be fully supported.
(04:48):
They told me that they said,Well, the the the first night we
were on vacation, we got back toour room, we got back to our
hotel room, and we just haddinner, and the husband is like,
I kind of want like a little bitof a sweet, I want something.
And so I went to the hotel minibar and there's MMs there.
And I grabbed that bag of MMsbecause that felt like the
craving that I wanted, you know,it was perfect for that.
(05:09):
And as I pull it up, I see on alittle menu there MMs five
dollars.
And I thought to myself, that'scrazy for the bag of MMs.
He thought this to himself,that's crazy the bag of MMs cost
five dollars.
Um I'm gonna put this down, I'mgonna walk however many blocks
it is to a 7-Eleven and get abag of MMs for$50 instead.
(05:32):
And he did that, and he cameback to me and he's like, it's
something like why on earthafter you had literally just
finished telling us we could doso much more with our money,
could I not bring myself to endan extra few bucks for a bag of
MMs?
And you can argue, well, cool,you got to go on a walk and get
(05:54):
the MMs, he's not a sucker, he'sgonna, he's not gonna over you
can make whatever argument youwant.
I'm not saying he should have orshouldn't have it, as much as if
that would have been moreconvenient, if that would have
been more time that he couldhave spent there, if that would
have why not?
What is that mental blocker thatprevents us from being able to
actually use what we've workedfor to do whatever we want,
(06:18):
whether that's convenience,whether that's travel, whether
that's giving, like whatever'sactually most important to us.
It was this interesting uh storythat really clicked for them and
really clicked for me that noamount of money automatically
changes your mindset and makesyou a different person.
And yes, we need to work to getto that position.
I wanted to make that messageloud and clear.
(06:40):
If you're don't have anysavings, this the mess this
message isn't for you.
The message of yeah, learn howto go spent.
You probably're you're probablyfine there.
This is the message for peoplethat have prioritized savings,
prioritized investments to thenth degree, and now have trouble
getting themselves to spend,there's a psychological shift
that happens there.
(07:00):
And that's a big part of what wesee and work with clients that
uh a good retirement plan isreally built upon is learning to
exercise that new muscle ofspending the money, not just
spending frivolously, not justspending in a wasteful way.
Don't no one wants to be thatsucker that just spends money to
spend money.
But if you can spend moneybecause in some ways it adds to
your quality of life, it's notgoing to go with you when you're
(07:23):
gone.
So let's make sure we're usingit for something good while
we're here.
SPEAKER_00 (07:27):
So powerful.
And James, I very rarelydisagree with you, but I
remember being in a clientmeeting and you had shared
something that made me go, maybethis guy's just not as smart as
I thought he was.
Now I knew you very well at thispoint, but you had said, I want
you to focus on your health.
So I go, okay, James wants theclients to focus on their health
and buy MMs.
And I went, look, I'm not somenutritionist, but those don't
(07:51):
add up.
And then you went on to sharethis story and how they saved
well and they could buy the MMs.
And at the end of that meeting,they went, okay, I got it.
So I can buy the MMs, and if Idon't, I'm still gonna be okay.
And really, no matter what I do,I'm gonna be okay.
But wow, I have the ability todo so.
And what was so powerful in thismeeting, and I have a story as
well to share on this thatreally made me go, wow, here's
(08:12):
how we help our clients do thisis in your Root Ready podcast,
where it's designed foradvisors.
I know there are root clientsthat listen and potential
clients that listen, you sharehow do you be the best advisor.
And you once told me, and yousaid it very nicely, you said,
Hey, Ari, the most powerfulthing an advisor can do is
listen and know when to shut up.
(08:33):
And there was a meeting I hadwith a client, and I had shared
similar feedback.
You're in a good financialposition.
And by the way, everyonelistening, James and I both
recognize if you are a greatspender, you're probably a key
word there, probably not in agreat position to retire early
because you're great atspending.
Maybe you are, have a greatbalance and you're one of the
(08:54):
few.
But we recognize you cutting thecoupons and being a great saver
has got you to this positionwhere you can retire.
We don't want you to be anoverspender.
We want you to be a successfulspender.
So I'm in the meeting with thisclient and they said, and I
quote, How on earth could I lookat life from the position of no
matter what I do, pretty muchI'll be okay.
(09:15):
And that was the truth.
If they didn't buy a privatejet, you know, that would throw
off their retirement plans.
But outside of that, they hadsaved and invested so well and
they just did not expect theirbusiness to do what it did.
So I said, What would you do ifI forced you to spend X number
of dollars?
And they just kept saying, Idon't know.
It was almost like it was anoverwhelming question.
Almost like it would have beeneasier for them to go back to
(09:36):
work instead of answer thequestion I just asked them.
And I said, Oh, great, thenwe're gonna sit in silence until
you come up with something.
This is your time to think andit's not pressuring.
I'll sit here for an hour.
Um, and I remember they finallysaid, you know, I don't know if
this is the answer you'relooking for.
And I paused them, I said, I'mnot looking for any answer, but
I do want to make sure you'renot mad at me later in life when
(09:58):
you have plenty of money wishingyou did more.
And they said, I remember when Iwas in my 20s and someone bought
groceries for me.
And that just meant the world tome at that time.
And so I would buy the person'sgroceries behind me.
That's what I would do if I hadall the money.
And I said, Well, how amazing.
And they said, Oh, yeah, but nowthat's making me think maybe I
would do some other charitablethings.
(10:19):
So it finally got them thinking.
And it took me understandingwhen to shut up and be silent
and give someone the space toreally explore this, which you
talk about often in the RootReady podcast.
And so I think it's importantfor everyone to recognize you
don't have to have it allfigured out.
And if you are a good saver andnow you're in a position to
retire, we'll often use the MManalogy and we'll use the light
(10:42):
switch.
If you're retiring and nowyou're going, okay, I know I
need to spend more, you're not,I don't need you to think about
it like, well, I'm gonna flip aswitch and now I'm a great
spender.
It's more of like a dimmer.
It's gonna take some time to getused to spending more, and we'll
encourage someone not to sendfor the sake of spending, but
exercises and strategies there.
(11:03):
So I think that MM analogy ispowerful.
And I remember seeing the clientand thinking to myself, well,
James just told them to focus ontheir health and eat MMs.
What the heck is this guy aboutto say?
SPEAKER_01 (11:13):
The metaphorical MM.
You said two things that I'mgonna reinforce.
One is you, I think you saidjoking that's the this client
had a hard time thinking ifthey're what am I gonna spend,
it would actually be easier forthem to go back to work than it
would be to spend.
That's that's not exaggeration.
Like that's true.
I think for so many people, thissaving and investing and working
that gets hard at the beginning.
(11:34):
But once you have once you're inthat habit, once you're in that
routine, once you've learnedthat skill set, that's kind of
easy.
The harder thing is not spendingon what you want, it's even
knowing what you want in thefirst place.
So the second thing you said ofyeah, sometimes we as advisors
just need to shut up and letpeople kind of come to these
realizations themselves.
This is an exercise anyone cando right now.
(11:54):
Is if you have no idea what youwant to do in retirement, turn
this podcast off right now, graba piece of paper, and just
write.
Let thoughts bubble up.
It's not going to come to youright away.
We live in such a dizzy,distracted world.
If you see everyone else'sgoals, you see these
commercials, people aretraveling in retirement, they're
walking their dog through thewoods in retirement, they're
sitting on these uh Adiranduchairs, like whatever.
(12:16):
That's not your goal.
You've been messaged that somany times, but actually, what
do you want?
Is it buying groceries for theperson behind you at Trader
Joe's?
Is it taking your whole familyon a trip to the special place
you've always wanted to go to?
I mean, just sit and be quietwith your thoughts and think
through.
And this isn't even a retirementexercise.
(12:37):
This is a life exercise.
How do you live a goodretirement?
Well, you live a good life.
So, like, let's bypass theretirement piece.
There's the financial componentsof retirement planning that are
needed to support that.
But what do you want your lifeto look like?
The hard part isn't spending themoney, it's knowing what you
want to spend the money on.
And so that's a creative musclethat needs to be exercised.
(12:58):
That's an identity muscle thatneeds to be exercised of what do
I actually want to do?
And just think through if I wasgone today, if I were to pass
away today, what are the thingsI would regret not doing?
Something might not come upright away, but if I spend
enough time just staring at apiece of paper and writing it
down, I promise you, it'sprobably gonna be something
(13:19):
related to time with family,time with loved ones, time doing
things that you didn't make thetime to do.
Like what are those things?
And then how can our retirementstrategy become don't regret
those things, don't regret notdoing those things.
How do we spend our money insuch a way to do that?
So I think that that issomething that everyone can
(13:39):
learn from is the the shut uppiece, not just for advisors,
but as people, what can we do toreally understand where we want
to go uh so we can start todevelop the habits to get there?
SPEAKER_00 (13:50):
I pay a lot of money to go to physical therapy, and
this is something that I talkabout frequently.
I love playing soccer.
I go to a physical therapyoffice called Myodox, and their
slogan is future-proof yourbody.
And when you go there, they go,we do holistic physical therapy,
we look at your whole body, andthe first thing they say is our
job is to get you out of here asquick as possible.
(14:11):
I hope all of you guys like ourcontent.
I hope you resonate with it.
But if you're writing down onthat piece of paper, you've got
James in your head going, okay,I'm gonna leave this piece of
paper once I've got a few ideas.
I bet watching root financialYouTube content is probably not
at the top of the list.
Now, I hope you enjoy ourcontent, once again, but our
goal, as I see it, is to make itso you're living your best
(14:31):
retirement.
If that's scuba diving ortraveling or doing whatever it
is you want to do, that'sawesome.
I hope we give you theconfidence and tools to make
that the reality.
But similar to my physicaltherapy office, they don't want
me to come all the time.
They want me to go to playsoccer and do what I want to do.
That's how we view it.
So that's what we've got forthis episode.
Just a few stories thathopefully give you something to
(14:53):
think about.
Anything else you want to add,James?
No, I think that's it.
Thanks, already.
Awesome.
So, as always, guys, thesepodcasts drop bi-weekly on
iTunes, Spotify, Google,wherever you listen to your
podcasts.
They're also on YouTube.
So if you want to actually seeus talk and interact, you can
watch on Root Financial YouTubechannel.
On this channel, you can meetour advisors.
You can see all sorts ofcontent, and you might just find
(15:15):
one advisor, one piece ofcontent that really resonates
with you.
So if that's the case, please docomment below.
We make all of our topics basedoff what you share below.
So you can go ahead and drop acomment on YouTube, and we will
look to address that in a futureepisode.
That was a mouthful.
You can see James's content onYouTube, my content on YouTube,
and we will see you.
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