Ever wondered how to cultivate a love that vibrates with the frequency of your soul? Join us as we sit down with relationship coach Rachel Davis, who sheds light on the intricacies of self-love and the importance of setting boundaries for healthier, more nurturing connections. Rachel Davis shares her passion for guiding women on their journey to understanding the opposite sex, enriched by her own personal experiences and the transformative program, 'Demystifying Men'. Our discussion promises to leave you with an empowering perspective on reclaiming self-worth and confidently engaging in the beautiful dance between men and women.
Step into a world where career-driven women learn to harmonize their ambitions with their innate femininity. We tackle the delicate balance of maintaining independence while fostering togetherness, all through the lens of heartfelt communication and the four C's: communication, consideration, compromise, and compassion. Get ready to absorb vital tips, such as keeping cell phones out of the bedroom to enrich intimacy, and understand the pivotal role boundaries play in a digital age that often complicates romantic relationships. Whether you're seeking the ideal partner or striving to deepen your current connection, our conversation with Rachel Davis is a treasure trove of wisdom for anyone looking to enhance their relationship dynamics.
Stay tuned for the next episode of Ready Set Collaborate with Wanda Pearson. Subscribe - Follow and Like Ready Set Collaborate with Wanda Pearson
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Ready Set Collaborate podcast with Rhonda
Pearson, where we will dive deepinto the world of networking,
collaboration and partnership,unlocking the secrets to a
successful team working withininnovation.
Whether you're an entrepreneur,a creative professional or just
someone eager to understand thepower of networking and
(00:23):
collaboration, this podcast isyour go-to resource.
Join us as we explore thestories, strategies and insights
from experts, entrepreneurs andthought leaders who have
experienced the magic ofnetworking and collaboration to
achieve successful results.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Tune in to Ready.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Set Collaborate podcast on a journey towards
achieving your goals with hostRhonda Pearson.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Welcome.
Welcome to Ready SetCollaborate with Rhonda Pearson,
but I have a special editionfor February.
It is Valentine's month and Iam talking about relationships
either his first partnership,marriage, job or family but I
will have some special gueststhat will speak about trauma and
relationships, a relationshipexpert, self-love and creating
(01:16):
boundary in a relationship, but,most of all, self-care for
yourself is very important tosustain any kind of relationship
.
So this month is going to befull of information and so much
fun and a great resource for youto actually listen to over and
over again.
I'm so excited to have somewonderful ladies this month to
February to talk about so manythings that can benefit us in
(01:36):
building and maintainingrelationships.
So let's get started with ourguests.
Rachel Davis, I'm so excitedabout you being on my half-cance
.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Rachel, oh my gosh, I am honored.
I am honored to be a guest onyour Pat podcast.
Thank you so much for reachingout and extending the invitation
and my message to you here withyour community and hopefully
give them some really goodinformation that could help
propel love in a beautiful wayfor this month and beyond.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yeah, absolutely, and I want to say happy Valentine's
Day.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Happy Valentine's Day.
We did not read here.
We're breaking it already.
I don't know how to go throughthis.
It's your podcast.
I'm like no, shut up.
I know you're going to sharesome great information, but I
want to talk.
I want to actually read yourbio, because your bio says a lot
(02:30):
about you here.
So Rachel is a patient, a humancoach, who specializes in
helping women win at love withmen Not just readily boring love
, but the love that sets yoursoul on fire.
Rachel is committed to helpingwomen such as yourself on their
quest for love by guiding themback to self-love,
self-discovery and men mastery.
(02:52):
She is the founder of theMystifying Men, a program series
created that has created magicand changed the lives of
hundreds of women around theglobe not the world, but the
globe.
Rachel has dedicated close to adecade working with women,
helping them to discover howexceptional they are and how
equally extraordinary men are.
She teaches women how to owntheir personal power and decode
(03:15):
men.
I need to know how to do that.
They commit to their mostfundamental qualities so that
healthy, loving and passionaterelationships becomes inedible
for them.
Rachel has been a gifting womanworldwide, with the ability to
heal from past, love losses andbreak us, while teaching them
how to reconnect with who theyare and what makes them lovable
(03:38):
at desire.
Whether you're a single,married, separated or in a
complicated situation, she aboutlike that Rachel has the tools,
keys, tips, tricks, knowledgeand know how to get you from
where you are to where youdesire to be with men.
Not just any love, but the lovethey want and deserve.
Rachel, we name this episodeBreaking free, unleashing
(04:03):
extraordinary love in your life.
I really thought with your biohere that we actually can touch
upon a lot of it ourselves.
Welcome again, rachel.
To really say, to elaborate inthe special edition of
relationships, the art ofrelationships.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Definitely so much.
So tell us a little bit aboutyourself, Rachel, about your
background, how you became arelationship expert.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, really quickly.
My desire to understand menstemmed from me being married
for the second time.
First time, the marriage didn'twork out too well and chalk it
up to being young and ultimatelygrowing apart and having the
opportunity to fall in love, tomeet someone, fall in love, have
(04:47):
him fall in love with me, andfor us to decide to live the
rest of our lives together.
I knew I was good as a woman.
I knew I was good as a friend.
I knew I was good as a lover.
I knew I was good as a wife.
But I went to 10 X my knowledgeand my expertise of men simply
(05:11):
because I felt as though if Ielevated my position when it
comes to better understandinghim, he would in turn do the
same.
That was part of the reason whyI wanted to really understand
men.
The other part is because allof the women around me, in my
family, people in my socialcircles at that time, with the
(05:32):
exception of one person I knewall had failed marriages, failed
relationships, or, if they weremarried or in a relationship,
they were miserable, unhappy.
They were just tolerating oneanother.
Aside from that one couple thatI knew back then, who are still
together to this day, I didn'thave an example of what a
(05:54):
healthy relationship looked like.
I didn't have examples of whatloving, beautiful,
passion-filled marriages lookedlike.
As a result, I went on a questto just better understanding men
from a behavioral standpoint.
I implemented what I learned.
I watched how my husband justblossomed and he just gelled
(06:18):
into me more.
Our relationship went frombeing exceptional to exceptional
times 10.
I started sharing with otherwomen, girlfriends what I knew
intrinsically, because a lot ofthis was inherent knowledge that
I already had.
Society more or less teaches usnot to tap into it.
(06:38):
It teaches us not to tap intothat intellectual, that
ancestral wisdom that we have.
But I tapped into that, coupledwith what I learned.
I was just giving girlfriendsadvice.
One of my friends was like youknow what you and your husband,
you guys, are in the industry.
You're always hosting trainingsand events and so forth.
You should put an eventtogether and you should have,
(06:59):
you should charge for this.
This is good stuff.
She said, yes, I'll help you,I'll even help you.
We're good for Kelly Campbell.
And so I put the firstDemystifying Men event together
and sold out and my husband waslike, wow, you're on to
(07:20):
something here.
And that was the first time heactually learned the information
that I had learned, and he wasthen in the back of the room
completely amazed, oh wow, andblown away by the information,
because a lot of us think thatunderstanding human dynamics and
(07:42):
human behavior is somethingthat's simple, or it's something
that should be second nature,and, by and large, it really
isn't.
And so when you think aboutunderstanding that there are
elements about the opposite sexthat you don't know, you weren't
necessarily born with a manualon how to understand men, and
(08:06):
men will tell you, I wasn't bornwith a manual on how to
understand women, but scienceand psychology has components of
how we interact as far as thedynamic of men and women, and
you parlay that intorelationships and you've got a
winning formula for a reallybeautiful marriage.
(08:26):
And so that's how I got started.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
That is awesome, and I guess that's what the
demystifying men mean.
Are you demystifying them?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yes, that's exactly because at that point I was like
what's a catchy title for thisevent?
And demystifying men, removingthe mystery from women,
understanding men.
And you know, what I also wantto share with you too, wanda, is
that during my first event, Ihad a couple of the ladies bring
their significant other withthem.
(08:56):
So there was a couple of men inthe room and when I tell you
one of the young ladies, shesaid oh my gosh, after your
event, her husband had beentalking about starting a
business and he never didanything about it.
You just talk, talk, talk withthe little action.
Just the girl.
Monday morning he'd weigh, heincorporated his business, he
went to the bank, got a loan,did this and this and this and
(09:17):
that to really propel and movewhat he wanted to do forward.
And that was because he alsogot an education about himself.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
I love it.
It was profound.
I love it because actually Iwas going to ask you about that
too, and just me and my husbandhad been married 42 years Now.
The last things, that's one, itain't easy.
It ain't easy.
God has always been bringing usback together and we're not
liking a lot of ways but notdipping a lot of ways, so we
probably need to take one ofyours, of course.
You see it.
You know how they say inmetaphor Mars when we're from
(09:47):
Venus.
But yeah, but no, it is.
God has really been blessing usto go through our challenges
and our wins, and especiallywhen you start getting older and
don't be the same.
So we definitely he's beenthrough his head with that.
I want to ask you something.
So, in your experience, whatare some of the common
challenges that couples or womenface in today's past, today's
(10:10):
world?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Oh my gosh, Women.
Let's talk about some of thechallenges women face.
So think about three on the topof my head Women don't have the
luxury of slowing down.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
We don't have the luxury of just slowing down.
I had a retreat last yeartitled the ultimate femininity
experience, and one of the keytakeaways that I've taught the
women at the retreat aboutfemininity and this is for the
type A personality woman who isvery driven and focused but yet
(10:57):
and still realizes that sheleads with more form masculinity
than femininity the one thingthat I shared with the ladies at
the retreat was that, in orderfor you to tap into your
femininity, the only way you cantap into your femininity is
through time.
You have to disconnect, youhave to decompress, and you've
(11:22):
got to carve out and create timein order for you to do that,
because, if not, you'll grow old, right?
That's another thing.
Some of the issues that womenface in terms of being in a
fast-paced environment has to dowith the desire to please
everybody, the desire to meeteveryone's needs, and the desire
(11:46):
being attached to a sense ofaccomplishment, being attached
to a sense of self.
The desire to please everybodyhas now become part of your
identity, when it shouldn't bepart of who you are in the first
place, and so that's anotherarea that I think women who are
(12:06):
fast-paced truly struggle with.
And last but not least, I willsay that not being able to
articulate if you're in arelationship, that is, not being
able to clearly articulate whatyour needs are from an intimacy
perspective is also a challenge, and I think culturally it
(12:30):
depends on the culture plays apart of it.
Even age plays a part of it too.
I was reading an article thattalks about how the 23-year-old
young woman today has had moresexual partners than the
54-year-old woman has had in herlifetime.
Now, that's a huge disparity,but that goes to and I'm not
(12:54):
saying one is right or one iswrong, it's just a sign of the
times, right.
But what I'm finding is thatthe women who are younger and
more youthful have asserted thesense of self-awareness where
they're able to articulate whatthey desire, where for some of
(13:14):
us Gen X's and Baby Boomers andbeyond may still struggle with
that.
Being able to have the freedomto share what you desire in a
relationship is an area that Ithink women often fall as far as
they're trapped to in thisfast-paced world.
It's so fast-paced, it's sofast-moving, you don't take the
(13:35):
time for pleasure.
You don't take the time toarticulate pleasure and you
don't take the time to receivepleasure.
So those are some of thechallenges I think women face
and I agree with that.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
And actually I tell people my four C's I'm going to
ask you about this but my fourC's to a relationship.
I have to make sure my husbandknows this is communication
consideration, compromise andcompassion.
Those are the four C's, andthere's more C's in here than
the other.
You can go with that, but Iwant to ask you so how do you
approach working with couplesand individuals that are
(14:09):
struggling with communicationissues?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
The foundation of any successful relationship, the
foundation of any successfulmarriage rises and falls on
communication, right Even whenyou think about if we take a
look at it from a spiritualperspective or a biblical
perspective.
you'll hear a lot of folks teachthat prayer is a foundation,
(14:34):
and although I do believe thatprayer is a foundation, but I
have seen women spend yearspraying for a man who just
doesn't know how to communicatehe just doesn't know how,
because men, by and large, areraised differently and, in a lot
(14:57):
of cases, depending on theirbackground and their upbringing,
have acquired elements oftrauma and were never really
taught that vulnerability was apowerful tool in communication,
vulnerability being a powerfultool in relating and in
(15:19):
relationships, and vulnerabilitybeing a powerful tool and being
able to live a completely freeand light life when you're able
to be vulnerable and when you'reable to be securing your
vulnerability, when you're ableto feel safe in that
(15:40):
vulnerability, it then opens theopportunity for you to be able
to communicate and to do so in amanner that's absolutely
beautiful, because it's foundedon feeling safe and
vulnerability, and I really Ithink the biggest part that I
wanna share with your viewerswith regards to communication is
(16:01):
to be able to ensure, if you'renot married, if you're single
and if you're dating, 50% of thebattle at winning a marriage is
marrying the right person, andone of the ways you can
understand or define or decipherwhether that person is the
right one for you is theirability to communicate with you
and to do so with a beautifulvulnerability.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
And that's perfectly said, because I always say
communication is important to me.
I'm a coordinator and I tellyou what I think.
But when you don't have apartner that don't communicate
back with you, then make itdifficult.
The brain needs to have it.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Or communication sounds more like an argument, or
communication is I'm onlylistening so I can respond, not
listening so I can comprehend.
And we're taught to respond tobe able to give an answer, not
necessarily to respond to beable to receive.
And so there's a lot that canbe enhanced with the human
(17:05):
dynamic in terms ofcommunication that can really
help couples excel in the spaceof marriage and to excel in a
way that's absolutely beautifulin terms of what they desire to
create for themselves in theirrelationship.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Yeah, so how do I have the right person out here
to talk about her?
I wanna ask you something hereand we're gonna be starting with
that because I wanna make surewe can tell about you In the age
of technology, everything withCOVID happened and how has
social media and digitalcommunication impacted romantic
relationships, and what advicedo you get couples navigating
these challenges?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
At night.
Get that cell phone out thebedroom, yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Girl that's gonna be awesome.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
And you say two o'clock in the morning, you wake
up and you can't sleep Beforecell phone.
You cuddle closer with yourpartner and you hold on tight
until you fell back asleep again.
Now you can't fall asleep.
You're like let me see what'sgoing on ESPNcom, let me see
what's going on Facebook, let mesee what's being said on
Twitter or Instagram or whatevermedia platform.
(18:10):
Let me see.
Let me catch up on my latestYouTuber.
Yeah, so get rid of the cellphone in the bedroom, forget the
cell phone out of the bedroom,Take it out of the room, put it
in the next room.
It can charge in the next roomand you're like what if an
emergency happens?
Here's what you and someoneneeds to call you.
Unless it's somebody that's inyour house, Chances are you
(18:32):
probably won't answer the phoneuntil the next morning anyway.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
I know.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
That those needs to.
Exactly so in your favorites,ed, who's in your favorites, so
that if that person calls you ata certain time, you put your
phone on do not disturb.
That phone will ring.
It'll ring in the next room,you'll hear it.
You'll wake up and you'll hearit to the cup, eleanor, not
after.
So my phone is on, do notdisturb.
After 9 pm it's on, do notdisturb.
(19:00):
And we charge our phones in thenext room.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I guess I have to work on that one, because I do
have do not disturb, though I dothat habit on do not disturb.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
So at two o'clock in the morning, when you wake up to
go use the bathroom and youcan't go back to sleep.
Before, you used to cuddle, andyou know that cuddling provided
you with activities that helpyou fall right back to sleep.
Nowadays, that's being replacedwith social media, and so my
advice is get the cell phone outof the bedroom.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Get the.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
TV and the phone out of the bedroom.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Okay, okay, I guess a lot of us will have to work on
that one there, so let me askyou another question here.
So how do you couples, or awoman, maintain a healthy
balance between independence andtogetherness in their
relationships?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, great question.
Independence is necessary.
You got to be who you are inyour marriage.
You've got to be who you are inyour relationship and I think
the false misconception that alot of women were taught was
that you're supposed to like,melt into the other person and
completely disappear as a helpmate.
(20:12):
But my philosophy is I wasgiven this gift of greatness
that resides within me when Iwas born with a purpose.
Dr Miles Monroe talks aboutthis all the time.
God rest his soul.
Everybody has got a seed ofgreatness in them.
God's not a purpose that theywere designed to accomplish.
A husband is no different.
(20:32):
You're no different.
Your husband is no different,and the independence comes with
understanding that you have yourlife mission and he has his
life mission, and what youdecided to do when you came
together is to go through thislife mission side by side,
(20:54):
together.
So being an independent personshouldn't take away from you
showing up for your significantother, as long as your
independence isn't based onselfishness and I think that's
where a lot of people get itwrong.
A husband may say, oh, I needyou to stop doing what it is
(21:15):
that you're doing to help mebuild my business, and by and
large, I'm just giving that asan example.
Women will put what they'redoing on hold to help the man.
Women will always put whatthey're doing on hold to help
the woman, and I talk about thatin my Demacifying Men course.
We talk about stages of man'sdevelopment, and I'll talk about
(21:36):
Prince A and Prince B.
Prince A wants to build hiskingdom with his princess.
Prince B wants to build hiskingdom alone.
And so when you think aboutindependence and being able to
still be in a relationship,someone you got to identify the
person that you're with.
Are they looking to you tosupport them 100%?
(21:59):
Are they willing to support you?
These are the types ofconversations that you need to
have before you walk down theaisle.
Now, if you're alreadyknee-deep in marriage, like
you're 20 years in, then it alsorequires a conversation same
concept, but perhaps differentparameters, where you have to
let your significant other know.
This is something that'smeaningful and it's important to
(22:21):
me and I want to give it a shot.
Can I turn on you for yoursupport?
Speaker 3 (22:25):
And that's true, that tells you that's your right
mate.
It's a right mate Exactly.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
You're getting married Exactly.
I know plenty of couples whothis husband does not support
what the wife is doing.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
And it's like somebody just blowing out their
candle.
It's the light that they had intheir eyes just disappear,
simply because he's functioningfrom a place of selfishness.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Selflessness, yep and not selflessness.
Selflessness.
I love that.
I love it.
I'm going to wind down herereal quick because I know we're
getting on tired.
But how does?
Because you know it's anetworking and conversion.
How does that fit into?
What you do Is for you tocollaborate.
Do you collaborate with otherpeople that actually do what you
(23:10):
do, or how do you do it?
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Absolutely, absolutely.
My mission is to get the wordout there, to help men better
understand women, to help womenbetter understand men, so that
we can have better relationships, so that we can that human
element of companionship.
One of our six basic needs islove and connection.
As humans having the spiritualexperience yes.
(23:34):
Sorry, as spiritual beingshaving this human experience, I
had it reversed, Lovingconnection it may not make sense
to me.
But they both make sense exactly.
But love and connection is abig part of it and I love and I
welcome opportunities tocollaborate with other people
who are like-minded in that wayso that we can present this
(23:56):
message about how to betterconnect, how to better
collaborate, even inrelationships, so that we can
have that love affair that, justlike I said in my bio, not just
such a solo buyer.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Absolutely, and I actually was talking to my guest
that I had yesterday.
You guys definitely need toconnect and my other friend lady
.
She's from Boundaries, so Ithink you all will be a great
collaboration with one another.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Oh, I have a teaching on boundaries.
Boundaries makes for greatrelationships, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Yeah, she's going to be on the 20th front so she'll
be following after you.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Okay, wonderful, yeah , I love it.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
So let's round this down, because I want people to
know how to get in touch withyou, also when there's courses,
because I want to make sure thatthey listen.
This is a great conversationand I really appreciate it, so
tell us how they can get intouch with you.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Absolutely so.
My website isworkwithrachildaviscom and when
you go to the website, scrollall the way at the bottom and
join the mailing list and you'llreceive emails.
I do my best to get at leasttwo emails out per month, which
is a way for me to stayconnected with my community and
provide updates and so forth.
As far as social media isconcerned, on Instagram is love
(25:15):
by Rachel Davis.
Youtube, it's Rachel Davis.
Tv or Demonstrifying Men, andboth it's also Rachel Davis, so
that's how you can find me onall social platforms, and I'm at
TikTok, rachel Davis as well.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
All right, this was awesome.
I really enjoyed ourconversation and you just gave
so many tips.
What you have is really greatfor people to listen to, so I
encourage the audience todefinitely listen to it.
Reach out to Rachel, becauseshe has so much demystifying
tips and stuff that you can do,because I'm telling you I know
(25:54):
my husband's going to be listento this as well.
So I definitely enjoyed ourconversation and I'm going to
have you back on that show here.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
So I'm just too sure, I'm just too sure.
But now it's so much we can getinto, absolutely, absolutely
how much we can get into.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
But thank you, rachel , for being on our show and
thank you, audience, for joiningus on Ready Set, collaborate
with Wanda Pearson and thespecial edition of the Art of
Relationships.
Make sure you share and followmy podcast, because I'm on all
podcasts.
I actually read your mind, joe.
I don't know.
I don't know All the fantasticpodcasts, spotify, pied Made,
(26:35):
anything you think of.
Just do Ready Set, collaboratewith Wanda Pearson.
You will find me on alldifferent platforms.
So thank you once again forbeing on our podcast and I look
forward to talking with you soon.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Tanya here.
Thanks so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
It's been a pleasure.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Thank you for tuning into this episode of Ready Set
Collaborate.
For more information about thehost head to
WDPiersonassociatescom andthat's P-E-A-R-S-O-N.
Want to connect?
Send an email to Wanda atWDPiersonassociatescom and, as
(27:17):
always, stay tuned for the nextepisode of Ready Set Collaborate
.
Welcome to Ready Set Collaborate podcast with Rhonda
Pearson, where we will dive deepinto the world of networking,
collaboration and partnership,unlocking the secrets to a
successful team working withininnovation.
Whether you're an entrepreneur,a creative professional or just
someone eager to understand thepower of networking and
(00:23):
collaboration, this podcast isyour go-to resource.
Join us as we explore thestories, strategies and insights
from experts, entrepreneurs andthought leaders who have
experienced the magic ofnetworking and collaboration to
achieve successful results.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Tune in to Ready.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Set Collaborate podcast on a journey towards
achieving your goals with hostRhonda Pearson.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Welcome.
Welcome to Ready SetCollaborate with Rhonda Pearson,
but I have a special editionfor February.
It is Valentine's month and Iam talking about relationships
either his first partnership,marriage, job or family but I
will have some special gueststhat will speak about trauma and
relationships, a relationshipexpert, self-love and creating
(01:16):
boundary in a relationship, but,most of all, self-care for
yourself is very important tosustain any kind of relationship
.
So this month is going to befull of information and so much
fun and a great resource for youto actually listen to over and
over again.
I'm so excited to have somewonderful ladies this month to
February to talk about so manythings that can benefit us in
(01:36):
building and maintainingrelationships.
So let's get started with ourguests.
Rachel Davis, I'm so excitedabout you being on my half-cance
.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Rachel, oh my gosh, I am honored.
I am honored to be a guest onyour Pat podcast.
Thank you so much for reachingout and extending the invitation
and my message to you here withyour community and hopefully
give them some really goodinformation that could help
propel love in a beautiful wayfor this month and beyond.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yeah, absolutely, and I want to say happy Valentine's
Day.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Happy Valentine's Day.
We did not read here.
We're breaking it already.
I don't know how to go throughthis.
It's your podcast.
I'm like no, shut up.
I know you're going to sharesome great information, but I
want to talk.
I want to actually read yourbio, because your bio says a lot
(02:30):
about you here.
So Rachel is a patient, a humancoach, who specializes in
helping women win at love withmen Not just readily boring love
, but the love that sets yoursoul on fire.
Rachel is committed to helpingwomen such as yourself on their
quest for love by guiding themback to self-love,
self-discovery and men mastery.
(02:52):
She is the founder of theMystifying Men, a program series
created that has created magicand changed the lives of
hundreds of women around theglobe not the world, but the
globe.
Rachel has dedicated close to adecade working with women,
helping them to discover howexceptional they are and how
equally extraordinary men are.
She teaches women how to owntheir personal power and decode
(03:15):
men.
I need to know how to do that.
They commit to their mostfundamental qualities so that
healthy, loving and passionaterelationships becomes inedible
for them.
Rachel has been a gifting womanworldwide, with the ability to
heal from past, love losses andbreak us, while teaching them
how to reconnect with who theyare and what makes them lovable
(03:38):
at desire.
Whether you're a single,married, separated or in a
complicated situation, she aboutlike that Rachel has the tools,
keys, tips, tricks, knowledgeand know how to get you from
where you are to where youdesire to be with men.
Not just any love, but the lovethey want and deserve.
Rachel, we name this episodeBreaking free, unleashing
(04:03):
extraordinary love in your life.
I really thought with your biohere that we actually can touch
upon a lot of it ourselves.
Welcome again, rachel.
To really say, to elaborate inthe special edition of
relationships, the art ofrelationships.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Definitely so much.
So tell us a little bit aboutyourself, Rachel, about your
background, how you became arelationship expert.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, really quickly.
My desire to understand menstemmed from me being married
for the second time.
First time, the marriage didn'twork out too well and chalk it
up to being young and ultimatelygrowing apart and having the
opportunity to fall in love, tomeet someone, fall in love, have
(04:47):
him fall in love with me, andfor us to decide to live the
rest of our lives together.
I knew I was good as a woman.
I knew I was good as a friend.
I knew I was good as a lover.
I knew I was good as a wife.
But I went to 10 X my knowledgeand my expertise of men simply
(05:11):
because I felt as though if Ielevated my position when it
comes to better understandinghim, he would in turn do the
same.
That was part of the reason whyI wanted to really understand
men.
The other part is because allof the women around me, in my
family, people in my socialcircles at that time, with the
(05:32):
exception of one person I knewall had failed marriages, failed
relationships, or, if they weremarried or in a relationship,
they were miserable, unhappy.
They were just tolerating oneanother.
Aside from that one couple thatI knew back then, who are still
together to this day, I didn'thave an example of what a
(05:54):
healthy relationship looked like.
I didn't have examples of whatloving, beautiful,
passion-filled marriages lookedlike.
As a result, I went on a questto just better understanding men
from a behavioral standpoint.
I implemented what I learned.
I watched how my husband justblossomed and he just gelled
(06:18):
into me more.
Our relationship went frombeing exceptional to exceptional
times 10.
I started sharing with otherwomen, girlfriends what I knew
intrinsically, because a lot ofthis was inherent knowledge that
I already had.
Society more or less teaches usnot to tap into it.
(06:38):
It teaches us not to tap intothat intellectual, that
ancestral wisdom that we have.
But I tapped into that, coupledwith what I learned.
I was just giving girlfriendsadvice.
One of my friends was like youknow what you and your husband,
you guys, are in the industry.
You're always hosting trainingsand events and so forth.
You should put an eventtogether and you should have,
(06:59):
you should charge for this.
This is good stuff.
She said, yes, I'll help you,I'll even help you.
We're good for Kelly Campbell.
And so I put the firstDemystifying Men event together
and sold out and my husband waslike, wow, you're on to
(07:20):
something here.
And that was the first time heactually learned the information
that I had learned, and he wasthen in the back of the room
completely amazed, oh wow, andblown away by the information,
because a lot of us think thatunderstanding human dynamics and
(07:42):
human behavior is somethingthat's simple, or it's something
that should be second nature,and, by and large, it really
isn't.
And so when you think aboutunderstanding that there are
elements about the opposite sexthat you don't know, you weren't
necessarily born with a manualon how to understand men, and
(08:06):
men will tell you, I wasn't bornwith a manual on how to
understand women, but scienceand psychology has components of
how we interact as far as thedynamic of men and women, and
you parlay that intorelationships and you've got a
winning formula for a reallybeautiful marriage.
(08:26):
And so that's how I got started.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
That is awesome, and I guess that's what the
demystifying men mean.
Are you demystifying them?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yes, that's exactly because at that point I was like
what's a catchy title for thisevent?
And demystifying men, removingthe mystery from women,
understanding men.
And you know, what I also wantto share with you too, wanda, is
that during my first event, Ihad a couple of the ladies bring
their significant other withthem.
(08:56):
So there was a couple of men inthe room and when I tell you
one of the young ladies, shesaid oh my gosh, after your
event, her husband had beentalking about starting a
business and he never didanything about it.
You just talk, talk, talk withthe little action.
Just the girl.
Monday morning he'd weigh, heincorporated his business, he
went to the bank, got a loan,did this and this and this and
(09:17):
that to really propel and movewhat he wanted to do forward.
And that was because he alsogot an education about himself.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
I love it.
It was profound.
I love it because actually Iwas going to ask you about that
too, and just me and my husbandhad been married 42 years Now.
The last things, that's one, itain't easy.
It ain't easy.
God has always been bringing usback together and we're not
liking a lot of ways but notdipping a lot of ways, so we
probably need to take one ofyours, of course.
You see it.
You know how they say inmetaphor Mars when we're from
(09:47):
Venus.
But yeah, but no, it is.
God has really been blessing usto go through our challenges
and our wins, and especiallywhen you start getting older and
don't be the same.
So we definitely he's beenthrough his head with that.
I want to ask you something.
So, in your experience, whatare some of the common
challenges that couples or womenface in today's past, today's
(10:10):
world?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Oh my gosh, Women.
Let's talk about some of thechallenges women face.
So think about three on the topof my head Women don't have the
luxury of slowing down.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
We don't have the luxury of just slowing down.
I had a retreat last yeartitled the ultimate femininity
experience, and one of the keytakeaways that I've taught the
women at the retreat aboutfemininity and this is for the
type A personality woman who isvery driven and focused but yet
(10:57):
and still realizes that sheleads with more form masculinity
than femininity the one thingthat I shared with the ladies at
the retreat was that, in orderfor you to tap into your
femininity, the only way you cantap into your femininity is
through time.
You have to disconnect, youhave to decompress, and you've
(11:22):
got to carve out and create timein order for you to do that,
because, if not, you'll grow old, right?
That's another thing.
Some of the issues that womenface in terms of being in a
fast-paced environment has to dowith the desire to please
everybody, the desire to meeteveryone's needs, and the desire
(11:46):
being attached to a sense ofaccomplishment, being attached
to a sense of self.
The desire to please everybodyhas now become part of your
identity, when it shouldn't bepart of who you are in the first
place, and so that's anotherarea that I think women who are
(12:06):
fast-paced truly struggle with.
And last but not least, I willsay that not being able to
articulate if you're in arelationship, that is, not being
able to clearly articulate whatyour needs are from an intimacy
perspective is also a challenge, and I think culturally it
(12:30):
depends on the culture plays apart of it.
Even age plays a part of it too.
I was reading an article thattalks about how the 23-year-old
young woman today has had moresexual partners than the
54-year-old woman has had in herlifetime.
Now, that's a huge disparity,but that goes to and I'm not
(12:54):
saying one is right or one iswrong, it's just a sign of the
times, right.
But what I'm finding is thatthe women who are younger and
more youthful have asserted thesense of self-awareness where
they're able to articulate whatthey desire, where for some of
(13:14):
us Gen X's and Baby Boomers andbeyond may still struggle with
that.
Being able to have the freedomto share what you desire in a
relationship is an area that Ithink women often fall as far as
they're trapped to in thisfast-paced world.
It's so fast-paced, it's sofast-moving, you don't take the
(13:35):
time for pleasure.
You don't take the time toarticulate pleasure and you
don't take the time to receivepleasure.
So those are some of thechallenges I think women face
and I agree with that.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
And actually I tell people my four C's I'm going to
ask you about this but my fourC's to a relationship.
I have to make sure my husbandknows this is communication
consideration, compromise andcompassion.
Those are the four C's, andthere's more C's in here than
the other.
You can go with that, but Iwant to ask you so how do you
approach working with couplesand individuals that are
(14:09):
struggling with communicationissues?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
The foundation of any successful relationship, the
foundation of any successfulmarriage rises and falls on
communication, right Even whenyou think about if we take a
look at it from a spiritualperspective or a biblical
perspective.
you'll hear a lot of folks teachthat prayer is a foundation,
(14:34):
and although I do believe thatprayer is a foundation, but I
have seen women spend yearspraying for a man who just
doesn't know how to communicatehe just doesn't know how,
because men, by and large, areraised differently and, in a lot
(14:57):
of cases, depending on theirbackground and their upbringing,
have acquired elements oftrauma and were never really
taught that vulnerability was apowerful tool in communication,
vulnerability being a powerfultool in relating and in
(15:19):
relationships, and vulnerabilitybeing a powerful tool and being
able to live a completely freeand light life when you're able
to be vulnerable and when you'reable to be securing your
vulnerability, when you're ableto feel safe in that
(15:40):
vulnerability, it then opens theopportunity for you to be able
to communicate and to do so in amanner that's absolutely
beautiful, because it's foundedon feeling safe and
vulnerability, and I really Ithink the biggest part that I
wanna share with your viewerswith regards to communication is
(16:01):
to be able to ensure, if you'renot married, if you're single
and if you're dating, 50% of thebattle at winning a marriage is
marrying the right person, andone of the ways you can
understand or define or decipherwhether that person is the
right one for you is theirability to communicate with you
and to do so with a beautifulvulnerability.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
And that's perfectly said, because I always say
communication is important to me.
I'm a coordinator and I tellyou what I think.
But when you don't have apartner that don't communicate
back with you, then make itdifficult.
The brain needs to have it.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Or communication sounds more like an argument, or
communication is I'm onlylistening so I can respond, not
listening so I can comprehend.
And we're taught to respond tobe able to give an answer, not
necessarily to respond to beable to receive.
And so there's a lot that canbe enhanced with the human
(17:05):
dynamic in terms ofcommunication that can really
help couples excel in the spaceof marriage and to excel in a
way that's absolutely beautifulin terms of what they desire to
create for themselves in theirrelationship.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Yeah, so how do I have the right person out here
to talk about her?
I wanna ask you something hereand we're gonna be starting with
that because I wanna make surewe can tell about you In the age
of technology, everything withCOVID happened and how has
social media and digitalcommunication impacted romantic
relationships, and what advicedo you get couples navigating
these challenges?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
At night.
Get that cell phone out thebedroom, yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Girl that's gonna be awesome.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
And you say two o'clock in the morning, you wake
up and you can't sleep Beforecell phone.
You cuddle closer with yourpartner and you hold on tight
until you fell back asleep again.
Now you can't fall asleep.
You're like let me see what'sgoing on ESPNcom, let me see
what's going on Facebook, let mesee what's being said on
Twitter or Instagram or whatevermedia platform.
(18:10):
Let me see.
Let me catch up on my latestYouTuber.
Yeah, so get rid of the cellphone in the bedroom, forget the
cell phone out of the bedroom,Take it out of the room, put it
in the next room.
It can charge in the next roomand you're like what if an
emergency happens?
Here's what you and someoneneeds to call you.
Unless it's somebody that's inyour house, Chances are you
(18:32):
probably won't answer the phoneuntil the next morning anyway.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
I know.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
That those needs to.
Exactly so in your favorites,ed, who's in your favorites, so
that if that person calls you ata certain time, you put your
phone on do not disturb.
That phone will ring.
It'll ring in the next room,you'll hear it.
You'll wake up and you'll hearit to the cup, eleanor, not
after.
So my phone is on, do notdisturb.
After 9 pm it's on, do notdisturb.
(19:00):
And we charge our phones in thenext room.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I guess I have to work on that one, because I do
have do not disturb, though I dothat habit on do not disturb.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
So at two o'clock in the morning, when you wake up to
go use the bathroom and youcan't go back to sleep.
Before, you used to cuddle, andyou know that cuddling provided
you with activities that helpyou fall right back to sleep.
Nowadays, that's being replacedwith social media, and so my
advice is get the cell phone outof the bedroom.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Get the.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
TV and the phone out of the bedroom.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Okay, okay, I guess a lot of us will have to work on
that one there, so let me askyou another question here.
So how do you couples, or awoman, maintain a healthy
balance between independence andtogetherness in their
relationships?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, great question.
Independence is necessary.
You got to be who you are inyour marriage.
You've got to be who you are inyour relationship and I think
the false misconception that alot of women were taught was
that you're supposed to like,melt into the other person and
completely disappear as a helpmate.
(20:12):
But my philosophy is I wasgiven this gift of greatness
that resides within me when Iwas born with a purpose.
Dr Miles Monroe talks aboutthis all the time.
God rest his soul.
Everybody has got a seed ofgreatness in them.
God's not a purpose that theywere designed to accomplish.
A husband is no different.
(20:32):
You're no different.
Your husband is no different,and the independence comes with
understanding that you have yourlife mission and he has his
life mission, and what youdecided to do when you came
together is to go through thislife mission side by side,
(20:54):
together.
So being an independent personshouldn't take away from you
showing up for your significantother, as long as your
independence isn't based onselfishness and I think that's
where a lot of people get itwrong.
A husband may say, oh, I needyou to stop doing what it is
(21:15):
that you're doing to help mebuild my business, and by and
large, I'm just giving that asan example.
Women will put what they'redoing on hold to help the man.
Women will always put whatthey're doing on hold to help
the woman, and I talk about thatin my Demacifying Men course.
We talk about stages of man'sdevelopment, and I'll talk about
(21:36):
Prince A and Prince B.
Prince A wants to build hiskingdom with his princess.
Prince B wants to build hiskingdom alone.
And so when you think aboutindependence and being able to
still be in a relationship,someone you got to identify the
person that you're with.
Are they looking to you tosupport them 100%?
(21:59):
Are they willing to support you?
These are the types ofconversations that you need to
have before you walk down theaisle.
Now, if you're alreadyknee-deep in marriage, like
you're 20 years in, then it alsorequires a conversation same
concept, but perhaps differentparameters, where you have to
let your significant other know.
This is something that'smeaningful and it's important to
(22:21):
me and I want to give it a shot.
Can I turn on you for yoursupport?
Speaker 3 (22:25):
And that's true, that tells you that's your right
mate.
It's a right mate Exactly.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
You're getting married Exactly.
I know plenty of couples whothis husband does not support
what the wife is doing.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
And it's like somebody just blowing out their
candle.
It's the light that they had intheir eyes just disappear,
simply because he's functioningfrom a place of selfishness.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Selflessness, yep and not selflessness.
Selflessness.
I love that.
I love it.
I'm going to wind down herereal quick because I know we're
getting on tired.
But how does?
Because you know it's anetworking and conversion.
How does that fit into?
What you do Is for you tocollaborate.
Do you collaborate with otherpeople that actually do what you
(23:10):
do, or how do you do it?
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Absolutely, absolutely.
My mission is to get the wordout there, to help men better
understand women, to help womenbetter understand men, so that
we can have better relationships, so that we can that human
element of companionship.
One of our six basic needs islove and connection.
As humans having the spiritualexperience yes.
(23:34):
Sorry, as spiritual beingshaving this human experience, I
had it reversed, Lovingconnection it may not make sense
to me.
But they both make sense exactly.
But love and connection is abig part of it and I love and I
welcome opportunities tocollaborate with other people
who are like-minded in that wayso that we can present this
(23:56):
message about how to betterconnect, how to better
collaborate, even inrelationships, so that we can
have that love affair that, justlike I said in my bio, not just
such a solo buyer.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Absolutely, and I actually was talking to my guest
that I had yesterday.
You guys definitely need toconnect and my other friend lady
.
She's from Boundaries, so Ithink you all will be a great
collaboration with one another.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Oh, I have a teaching on boundaries.
Boundaries makes for greatrelationships, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Yeah, she's going to be on the 20th front so she'll
be following after you.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Okay, wonderful, yeah , I love it.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
So let's round this down, because I want people to
know how to get in touch withyou, also when there's courses,
because I want to make sure thatthey listen.
This is a great conversationand I really appreciate it, so
tell us how they can get intouch with you.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Absolutely so.
My website isworkwithrachildaviscom and when
you go to the website, scrollall the way at the bottom and
join the mailing list and you'llreceive emails.
I do my best to get at leasttwo emails out per month, which
is a way for me to stayconnected with my community and
provide updates and so forth.
As far as social media isconcerned, on Instagram is love
(25:15):
by Rachel Davis.
Youtube, it's Rachel Davis.
Tv or Demonstrifying Men, andboth it's also Rachel Davis, so
that's how you can find me onall social platforms, and I'm at
TikTok, rachel Davis as well.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
All right, this was awesome.
I really enjoyed ourconversation and you just gave
so many tips.
What you have is really greatfor people to listen to, so I
encourage the audience todefinitely listen to it.
Reach out to Rachel, becauseshe has so much demystifying
tips and stuff that you can do,because I'm telling you I know
(25:54):
my husband's going to be listento this as well.
So I definitely enjoyed ourconversation and I'm going to
have you back on that show here.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
So I'm just too sure, I'm just too sure.
But now it's so much we can getinto, absolutely, absolutely
how much we can get into.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
But thank you, rachel , for being on our show and
thank you, audience, for joiningus on Ready Set, collaborate
with Wanda Pearson and thespecial edition of the Art of
Relationships.
Make sure you share and followmy podcast, because I'm on all
podcasts.
I actually read your mind, joe.
I don't know.
I don't know All the fantasticpodcasts, spotify, pied Made,
(26:35):
anything you think of.
Just do Ready Set, collaboratewith Wanda Pearson.
You will find me on alldifferent platforms.
So thank you once again forbeing on our podcast and I look
forward to talking with you soon.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Tanya here.
Thanks so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
It's been a pleasure.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Thank you for tuning into this episode of Ready Set
Collaborate.
For more information about thehost head to
WDPiersonassociatescom andthat's P-E-A-R-S-O-N.
Want to connect?
Send an email to Wanda atWDPiersonassociatescom and, as
(27:17):
always, stay tuned for the nextepisode of Ready Set Collaborate
.
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