Patreon Teaser: Kardashian Kristmas Kards

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Full Episode Description: On this patreon exclusive, Torry and Lauren (she/her) from Ugly Hot Podcast discuss the Kardashian Christmas cards throughout the years (with a PowerPoint) and the lore around them, share what they should do for 2024, and then pick their favourite/least favourite cards.

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Photo by Mariah Burchell.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Shall we get into the cards themselves and we can chat about
kind of the evolution and what we thought about the themes and
who was there, who wasn't there,what eras they were in?
I'm so ready for this. OK, so we're going to start in
the 80s, which is really fun. It is a black and white image of

(00:25):
the fan with Robert Kardashian senior and Rob Junior, and then
the three girls, Kourtney, Khloeand Kim with Chris.
They're all wearing like versions of like black and
white. I don't know, maybe black and
silver, black and gold. They're just such a gorgeous
family. Yeah, I was about to say.

(00:46):
Like there's just something likeChris and Rob Senior do have
like they have similar like coloring, like they have like
the black hair and big eyes and stuff like that.
And they've just made such beautiful kids, truly.
Truly, and like I hate to talk about looks, but like I mean I
will. It's just, it breaks my heart to

(01:09):
see like how genuinely stunning the girls were.
And yes, it's. Just like you can just see how
prominent their features were. And I'm adopted and I'm of Asian
descent, so. But I always had dark hair and

(01:30):
darker features and and I remember looking at the
Kardashians went before a lot ofthe surgeries.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And feeling like I kind of look
like them and people think that they're beautiful.
And I. Remember feeling really good
about it. Like I know that sounds like
really really bad. No, no, no, no.

(01:52):
But before and like I shared when I first got introduced to
Kim like this was back in like 2008, 2009.
So this was before a lot of the different work and like honestly
a lot of the the girls look. Very different.
And I just remember being like, this was like, it was very

(02:14):
different than like the Parises of the world and a lot of the
other women that were very famous.
I completely agree like it's so funny because I even felt that
way like even just like the brunette like this sounds so it
does sound dumb, but like it actually is like you were I feel
like so I truly believe like it's like we were coming out of

(02:35):
the era or like we were in the the tail end of the era.
That was like extremely thin andextremely blonde was like the.
Kind of. Anesthetic.
I remember like growing up like Roxy, the like surfer brand,
like the Quicksilver. Roxy was like so popular where I
lived and it was like you wantedto be like a surfer girl, like

(02:59):
Blondie. Like it was very like Laguna be
a Laguna Beach, very like Kate Moss, Paris Hilton, even like
Lindsay Lohan and stuff like that.
Hilary Duff, like those were like a lot of the girls that
were like the look of the momentand even just them having brown
hair and not being like stick, stick thin.
Like don't get me wrong, they were always thin, but it like

(03:21):
even just like not being like stick fucking thin.
It was, I was like shook to my core, which is so sad, but it's
that's the reality. And I love in this photo that
you can see so much of their personalities, like Chloe
looking like a little menace like outfit.
Courtney's kind of like there, but not really.

(03:43):
And Kim like. Picture perfect.
Picture perfect and your eye just like gets drawn to Kim.
She's in the middle even though she's not the oldest or the
youngest. She's dead center and like, your
eyes just, I don't know, just gostraight to her.
It's so funny. Yeah.
OK, let's talk about the 90s photo.

(04:04):
Also, they get more like annual as we go in chronological order.
Some of these like, kind of havelike vague dates.
And also I'm surprised that they, like, maybe they weren't
so good at doing it annually even though they always said
they did. But they they these aren't

(04:24):
yeared like there's no year for them, which I found interesting.
Maybe because it was actually like mailed, maybe maybe because
of that like it's not as digital.
So it's like harder to like really know which year was
which. Yeah.
So that's fair. And not every camera and like

(04:45):
print would have like I forget what it's called but like the
red date. Yes, on the bottom.
No, you're totally right. Yeah, that's a very good point.
So this photo is in the 90s. Caitlin has now entered the
picture. Kourtney has her, like, mushroom
bowl cut that Scott, like, rips apart in one of the Christmas

(05:07):
specials that we'll talk about later on.
And this is like, I remember they talked about this in their
Yeah Season 8 Christmas special because Caitlin was talking
about how it was nice to like, have like a blended family
photo, which this was like one of their first kind of
Christmases together.