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Full Episode Description: On this patreon exclusive, Torry (she/her) and Nick (he/him) discuss recent Taylor Swift news, Harry Styles, the photographer, and Hilary Duff’s return to music. Then Torry nominates Scarlette Johannson and Colin Jost as Pettyweight Champions of the Week and Nick nominates a petty student at prom. Finally, Nick shares his This Week in Petty about people making things your problem and Torry shares about paying with cash.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
OK, let's move on to Petty Weight Champion of the Week.
This is the part of the show where we're going to nominate a
petty Weight Champion of the week.
Someone in the media who did something petty and it was
iconic. What are you thinking?
Do you want me to go first? I would love for you to go
first. OK, so I'm going to nominate
Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost from Saturday Night Live.
(00:23):
Scarlett Johansson was the host of the SNL 50th season finale
and basically what happened she came on Weekend Update with
Michael Che and Colin Jost. Obviously Colin Jost is her
husband because on each season finale, Che and Colin will write
jokes for each other. And they did that for the SNL
(00:48):
50th special. And this is like, actually like,
fucking so misogynist and like, fucking gross.
And I actually kind of hate thatthis just like flies on
television nowadays. But Jay made Colin say Costco
has removed the roast beef sandwich from its menu.
But I ain't trippin. I've been eating roast beef
(01:08):
every night since my wife had the kid.
Like that's actually like crazy work.
I will say that I read that on the Tory's little dock for like
as if we were gonna talk about and not that I'm even like anti
SNLI. Just don't watch SNLI.
Read that. And I was like, this is funny
and. I was like, so it's like, not
(01:28):
funny. Yeah, I was like, maybe if I
heard the, you know, like voice tenor.
And I know it is funny when they, the two of them, like,
read them because they're just geeking out the whole time.
But yeah. And then then he came back and I
saw a bit today about like, he basically was like tricking
Colin Jost into saying the N word by talking about this like
basketball player, I think or something.
(01:52):
It's always like. Michael Che just makes him say
racist to things like black people, which like I know that
that's the bit and like that's what's controversial and like
funny and stuff like that. But like, I don't know, Weekend
Update for me hasn't been funny since like Amy Poehler and Seth
Meyers and stuff like that or like Tina Fey.
Like I don't know. It's not my favorite segment on
(02:12):
SNL and I'm not even like a hugeSNL head but because Scarlett
was hosting this week she came on weekend update to get an
apology because sorry I didn't say this but at the SNL 50 they
put cameras on her so when he read this joke she like had.
A let her live reaction. Yeah, And then she was like
(02:34):
fucking shocked. Like I would have been like so
pissed. But yeah, anyway, so she came
on, Colin wrote something for Che to say, and he wrote.
I made Colin do some tasteless jokes comparing your vagina to
Costco roast beef. The fact is I was lashing out
(02:54):
because I'm jealous. I've never even seen a human
vagina and noticed I said human because I once spent the summer
on a farm. I like, I'm like, this is like,
I was like, I feel like you guysare disgust.
Like, that's horrific. I, I do feel like it is very
middle school boy humor and I can see why people would think
that it's funny. And I do think that joke is
(03:16):
funnier personally than the first one, But but it also is
kind of like the low hanging fruit of it all.
But I also don't understand why he felt the need to like, I
guess, you know, respond in whatever way.
I don't know. I don't, I don't have the the
cultural, I think vision of SNL to correctly critique with the
(03:43):
nuance that, you know, the SNL heads might come for me for.
What? What has SNL done wrong in the
last couple years to not becauseI feel like a sketch comedy
show, like it's such a like a live sketch comedy show that's
fucking brilliant, but like, what haven't they done?
I wonder if a part of it is likeoverconsumption because it is
pretty much every week. I know they have seasons and
(04:04):
they take the summer off and andwhatnot, but, and it's fair, I
think, to say that like not every sketch can be a smash hit.
Of course, honestly, you probably go multiple weeks
without like a smash hit. So like things like we can
update that or weekend update like are timely.
So those are the ones that get the plays because they're
timely, the things that are happening in the news and
(04:24):
whatnot. But I'm going to lay off SNL
just a little bit because in thefall when they did the Domingo
sketch for the first time, like instant classic, like that was
probably the best SNL skit they've had, at least in this
current season or the last, you know, nine months.
And very rarely do you get something, I think like that
height. Even if people were then like,
(04:45):
oh the joke was overplayed and whatever, but like it was funny.
100% And like it's, it's interesting too of what they
think is not going to be funny because I saw a Reddit post
today of someone who went to therecording and they went to the
recording and they were in the audience.
And so they or they watched the dress rehearsal.
So they were able to see what the whole show was.
(05:07):
And then what got cut for the what aired.
And they said that there is thissketch and it was like doctors
taking the Hippocratic Oath and it was like the normal oath.
And then they had dentists cleanit and it was like how dentists
like like Will. I will cost.
Yeah, It was like, I will talk to you when your mouth's open
(05:28):
and there's no way you can respond.
I will give you bleeding gums, like for poking or like, I don't
know, It was just like a bunch of funny stuff.
And I was like, that would have hit, I feel like, but it got
cut. I wonder if it got cut because
they thought that they could do more with it.
Like, if it's like, OK, we're going to cut it from this week's
episode. Like we'll get like a better
host to do it or we want to refine some of the jokes.
(05:49):
But stuff like that that's so applicable to every age group
are the things that I think hit the one with Domingo hit because
like one, it was really funny. You had Ariana Grande in it
singing and anybody like in the generation of people who are
listening to espresso that are also going to weddings, like it
just worked for my petty weight.Champion of the week is not a
(06:10):
celebrity. So I already feel bad.
But the aforementioned not beingon social media, I was like
trying to Google some stuff and I was like, I actually can't
think of anything. You're good.
You're. Good, but I worked so I worked
prom this weekend. We saw.
Yeah, I was dancing at prom. I love it.
But so the DJ just wait. Just wait.
Just. Wait, I've got a question for
you. I was going to ask this in the
group chat but then I forgot. When you're like dancing at
(06:33):
prom, are your students like lollike that's Nick because they
call you Nick, right? Yes, they do, yeah.
Or are they like Nick, like stop, you're embarrassing us.
So I definitely think the former, but I also don't care if
it's the latter, if that makes sense.
Like we had got like a, the group of us who are chaperoning
(06:54):
got like a message from our administrators to say, like, we
don't just want you like standing there, like watching
like we want you to, we want youto like chaperones.
Like, you know, I had like kids who were like trying to get on
people's like shoulders and like, you know, whatnot.
And my line was I'd just walk over and be like, get down.
Don't make me chaperone right now.
(07:15):
So like they, but they also wanted us to be like engaging
with the kids in a variety of ways and not just being weird.
So I was like, I don't, who cares?
I don't mind embarrassing myself.
I'll freaking dance, but the reason that I was like really, I
was in a Tory a video of me likeattempting the wobble it.
Was so crazy. But but the reason I did that
was because the DJ was like pretty bad earlier in the night.
(07:37):
And it's like group of girls like went up to like request
music. And I don't know if he wasn't
listening to them or whatever, but they got so fed up that they
had come to prom on a party bus with 38 people that she straight
up called the party bus back to pick them up at 9:00 or like
915. Prom ended at 10:30.
So this is like over an hour left.
(07:58):
And she made the DJ go. You know, if you're on, you
know, Tori's party bus, your party bus is here and leaving in
5 minutes. It's time to leave the dance.
Who is this is like, to be honest, 40 kids on this party
bus so much didn't want to leave, but they had paid for the
party bus like that was their trip like And she just got up
(08:21):
and said like, OK, you're not playing the music I want.
We're all leave. OK, A to be like as cool to have
a 38 person party bus B to pull a move like that in high school
is like to an adult that you don't know is like this girl is
cool. But I think some of the kids are
(08:41):
kind of salty because they're like, we yeah, that's we don't
want to leave prom like over an hour early, but but they pay for
the purpose of they all left. So at the point where I was like
really dancing. But like, you know, prom was,
you know, 60% of what it was, I was like, the dance floor is now
like empty. Yeah, I'm going to dance like.
Kay, you're not going to get us reference, but Petty Betty's
(09:04):
will like she's Massey block from the clique.
I don't get that at all, but I love that.
It's like it was like young adult books and the like main
character was this like loser and then the like mean girl was
like so cool and she would always be like Claire, are you
tennis elbow? And then Claire would be like,
(09:25):
no, why? And she'd be like, because
you're really like cramping my style.
Yeah, that's my petty Wade Champion of the Week.
Oh my God. Icons only.
I can only strive to be that petty.
Also can you remind me like is prom because we don't have prom
here? Is that for just grade twelves?
So at when I went to high school, we had junior prom and
(09:49):
we had senior prom and the senior prom was like the like
real prom. It was like, at least that's how
it felt to us. Like I rented a suit for junior
prom. Like girls got dressed as first
like or first sorry for junior prom.
Girls got dresses for it. But it was like elevated a
little bit with senior year. And senior year had like a, I
don't want to call it like a theme.
Whereas junior year was just like the junior year prom and
(10:12):
dance. But the senior year prom had
like a night in New York or a city of stars or on the Nile or
whatever, you know, or an evening in Paris.
Like all the same variant of thesame damn theme, just in
different locations with slightly different attitude
changes. Whereas junior prom was just
junior prom and I think the senior prom for us had like a
(10:33):
slightly nicer location. Like the junior prom was at my
junior prom wasn't at a hotel, but like we'll pretend it was at
like a hotel and like one of thegiant like rooms.
Whereas my junior prom was at like or my senior prom was at a
Yacht Club. So like we had like the, it was
like slightly differently elevated.
At the school that I work at, junior prom and senior prom are
the same. So they just go to prom twice
(10:55):
and they both have themes, but it's like, like the dresses were
great, but like some of the boys, I was like, guys like we
need to like rent a suit like weneed to they were wearing.
Suits. They were wearing suits, but
they weren't like, you know, they kind of like makeshifting.
I feel like a lot of them were, which is, you know, fine, but
I'm like like usually you've gotlike, you know, the suit on you
(11:17):
match the color swap. No, like that's fun.
But you know, maybe it was like a monetary thing and you know,
great for people spending less money.
So it was just I had a great time.
Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad, as you should, and I
hope the attendees also had a good time other than this girl.
Thank you so much for listening.If you want to hear the whole
(11:38):
episode, you can head over to patreon@patreon.com/RTBP Podcast
to listen to the whole episode as well as gain access to over
120 episodes, see a bunch of live streams I've recorded over
the last couple years, join our Discord chat, and many other fun
things that we've got going on over there.
(12:00):
You will be joining a group of fun, sexy, supportive, and
politically engaged Petty Betty's If you head over to
patreon.com/RTBP Podcast. My hot tip is joining on a web
browser that's not Safari and not using the App Store because
(12:22):
they up charge you 30%. So use Google Chrome and do it
on the old lappy tappy and save an immediate 30%.
You can also try it out for a week for free see if you like
it. But seriously, what are you
waiting for? Head over to patreon.com/RTP
podcast and become an official Petty Betty today.
OK, love you. Bye.
OK, let's move on to Petty Weight Champion of the Week.
This is the part of the show where we're going to nominate a
petty Weight Champion of the week.
Someone in the media who did something petty and it was
iconic. What are you thinking?
Do you want me to go first? I would love for you to go
first. OK, so I'm going to nominate
Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost from Saturday Night Live.
(00:23):
Scarlett Johansson was the host of the SNL 50th season finale
and basically what happened she came on Weekend Update with
Michael Che and Colin Jost. Obviously Colin Jost is her
husband because on each season finale, Che and Colin will write
jokes for each other. And they did that for the SNL
(00:48):
50th special. And this is like, actually like,
fucking so misogynist and like, fucking gross.
And I actually kind of hate thatthis just like flies on
television nowadays. But Jay made Colin say Costco
has removed the roast beef sandwich from its menu.
But I ain't trippin. I've been eating roast beef
(01:08):
every night since my wife had the kid.
Like that's actually like crazy work.
I will say that I read that on the Tory's little dock for like
as if we were gonna talk about and not that I'm even like anti
SNLI. Just don't watch SNLI.
Read that. And I was like, this is funny
and. I was like, so it's like, not
(01:28):
funny. Yeah, I was like, maybe if I
heard the, you know, like voice tenor.
And I know it is funny when they, the two of them, like,
read them because they're just geeking out the whole time.
But yeah. And then then he came back and I
saw a bit today about like, he basically was like tricking
Colin Jost into saying the N word by talking about this like
basketball player, I think or something.
(01:52):
It's always like. Michael Che just makes him say
racist to things like black people, which like I know that
that's the bit and like that's what's controversial and like
funny and stuff like that. But like, I don't know, Weekend
Update for me hasn't been funny since like Amy Poehler and Seth
Meyers and stuff like that or like Tina Fey.
Like I don't know. It's not my favorite segment on
(02:12):
SNL and I'm not even like a hugeSNL head but because Scarlett
was hosting this week she came on weekend update to get an
apology because sorry I didn't say this but at the SNL 50 they
put cameras on her so when he read this joke she like had.
A let her live reaction. Yeah, And then she was like
(02:34):
fucking shocked. Like I would have been like so
pissed. But yeah, anyway, so she came
on, Colin wrote something for Che to say, and he wrote.
I made Colin do some tasteless jokes comparing your vagina to
Costco roast beef. The fact is I was lashing out
(02:54):
because I'm jealous. I've never even seen a human
vagina and noticed I said human because I once spent the summer
on a farm. I like, I'm like, this is like,
I was like, I feel like you guysare disgust.
Like, that's horrific. I, I do feel like it is very
middle school boy humor and I can see why people would think
that it's funny. And I do think that joke is
(03:16):
funnier personally than the first one, But but it also is
kind of like the low hanging fruit of it all.
But I also don't understand why he felt the need to like, I
guess, you know, respond in whatever way.
I don't know. I don't, I don't have the the
cultural, I think vision of SNL to correctly critique with the
(03:43):
nuance that, you know, the SNL heads might come for me for.
What? What has SNL done wrong in the
last couple years to not becauseI feel like a sketch comedy
show, like it's such a like a live sketch comedy show that's
fucking brilliant, but like, what haven't they done?
I wonder if a part of it is likeoverconsumption because it is
pretty much every week. I know they have seasons and
(04:04):
they take the summer off and andwhatnot, but, and it's fair, I
think, to say that like not every sketch can be a smash hit.
Of course, honestly, you probably go multiple weeks
without like a smash hit. So like things like we can
update that or weekend update like are timely.
So those are the ones that get the plays because they're
timely, the things that are happening in the news and
(04:24):
whatnot. But I'm going to lay off SNL
just a little bit because in thefall when they did the Domingo
sketch for the first time, like instant classic, like that was
probably the best SNL skit they've had, at least in this
current season or the last, you know, nine months.
And very rarely do you get something, I think like that
height. Even if people were then like,
(04:45):
oh the joke was overplayed and whatever, but like it was funny.
100% And like it's, it's interesting too of what they
think is not going to be funny because I saw a Reddit post
today of someone who went to therecording and they went to the
recording and they were in the audience.
And so they or they watched the dress rehearsal.
So they were able to see what the whole show was.
(05:07):
And then what got cut for the what aired.
And they said that there is thissketch and it was like doctors
taking the Hippocratic Oath and it was like the normal oath.
And then they had dentists cleanit and it was like how dentists
like like Will. I will cost.
Yeah, It was like, I will talk to you when your mouth's open
(05:28):
and there's no way you can respond.
I will give you bleeding gums, like for poking or like, I don't
know, It was just like a bunch of funny stuff.
And I was like, that would have hit, I feel like, but it got
cut. I wonder if it got cut because
they thought that they could do more with it.
Like, if it's like, OK, we're going to cut it from this week's
episode. Like we'll get like a better
host to do it or we want to refine some of the jokes.
(05:49):
But stuff like that that's so applicable to every age group
are the things that I think hit the one with Domingo hit because
like one, it was really funny. You had Ariana Grande in it
singing and anybody like in the generation of people who are
listening to espresso that are also going to weddings, like it
just worked for my petty weight.Champion of the week is not a
(06:10):
celebrity. So I already feel bad.
But the aforementioned not beingon social media, I was like
trying to Google some stuff and I was like, I actually can't
think of anything. You're good.
You're. Good, but I worked so I worked
prom this weekend. We saw.
Yeah, I was dancing at prom. I love it.
But so the DJ just wait. Just wait.
Just. Wait, I've got a question for
you. I was going to ask this in the
group chat but then I forgot. When you're like dancing at
(06:33):
prom, are your students like lollike that's Nick because they
call you Nick, right? Yes, they do, yeah.
Or are they like Nick, like stop, you're embarrassing us.
So I definitely think the former, but I also don't care if
it's the latter, if that makes sense.
Like we had got like a, the group of us who are chaperoning
(06:54):
got like a message from our administrators to say, like, we
don't just want you like standing there, like watching
like we want you to, we want youto like chaperones.
Like, you know, I had like kids who were like trying to get on
people's like shoulders and like, you know, whatnot.
And my line was I'd just walk over and be like, get down.
Don't make me chaperone right now.
(07:15):
So like they, but they also wanted us to be like engaging
with the kids in a variety of ways and not just being weird.
So I was like, I don't, who cares?
I don't mind embarrassing myself.
I'll freaking dance, but the reason that I was like really, I
was in a Tory a video of me likeattempting the wobble it.
Was so crazy. But but the reason I did that
was because the DJ was like pretty bad earlier in the night.
(07:37):
And it's like group of girls like went up to like request
music. And I don't know if he wasn't
listening to them or whatever, but they got so fed up that they
had come to prom on a party bus with 38 people that she straight
up called the party bus back to pick them up at 9:00 or like
915. Prom ended at 10:30.
So this is like over an hour left.
(07:58):
And she made the DJ go. You know, if you're on, you
know, Tori's party bus, your party bus is here and leaving in
5 minutes. It's time to leave the dance.
Who is this is like, to be honest, 40 kids on this party
bus so much didn't want to leave, but they had paid for the
party bus like that was their trip like And she just got up
(08:21):
and said like, OK, you're not playing the music I want.
We're all leave. OK, A to be like as cool to have
a 38 person party bus B to pull a move like that in high school
is like to an adult that you don't know is like this girl is
cool. But I think some of the kids are
(08:41):
kind of salty because they're like, we yeah, that's we don't
want to leave prom like over an hour early, but but they pay for
the purpose of they all left. So at the point where I was like
really dancing. But like, you know, prom was,
you know, 60% of what it was, I was like, the dance floor is now
like empty. Yeah, I'm going to dance like.
Kay, you're not going to get us reference, but Petty Betty's
(09:04):
will like she's Massey block from the clique.
I don't get that at all, but I love that.
It's like it was like young adult books and the like main
character was this like loser and then the like mean girl was
like so cool and she would always be like Claire, are you
tennis elbow? And then Claire would be like,
(09:25):
no, why? And she'd be like, because
you're really like cramping my style.
Yeah, that's my petty Wade Champion of the Week.
Oh my God. Icons only.
I can only strive to be that petty.
Also can you remind me like is prom because we don't have prom
here? Is that for just grade twelves?
So at when I went to high school, we had junior prom and
(09:49):
we had senior prom and the senior prom was like the like
real prom. It was like, at least that's how
it felt to us. Like I rented a suit for junior
prom. Like girls got dressed as first
like or first sorry for junior prom.
Girls got dresses for it. But it was like elevated a
little bit with senior year. And senior year had like a, I
don't want to call it like a theme.
Whereas junior year was just like the junior year prom and
(10:12):
dance. But the senior year prom had
like a night in New York or a city of stars or on the Nile or
whatever, you know, or an evening in Paris.
Like all the same variant of thesame damn theme, just in
different locations with slightly different attitude
changes. Whereas junior prom was just
junior prom and I think the senior prom for us had like a
(10:33):
slightly nicer location. Like the junior prom was at my
junior prom wasn't at a hotel, but like we'll pretend it was at
like a hotel and like one of thegiant like rooms.
Whereas my junior prom was at like or my senior prom was at a
Yacht Club. So like we had like the, it was
like slightly differently elevated.
At the school that I work at, junior prom and senior prom are
the same. So they just go to prom twice
(10:55):
and they both have themes, but it's like, like the dresses were
great, but like some of the boys, I was like, guys like we
need to like rent a suit like weneed to they were wearing.
Suits. They were wearing suits, but
they weren't like, you know, they kind of like makeshifting.
I feel like a lot of them were, which is, you know, fine, but
I'm like like usually you've gotlike, you know, the suit on you
(11:17):
match the color swap. No, like that's fun.
But you know, maybe it was like a monetary thing and you know,
great for people spending less money.
So it was just I had a great time.
Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad, as you should, and I
hope the attendees also had a good time other than this girl.
Thank you so much for listening.If you want to hear the whole
(11:38):
episode, you can head over to patreon@patreon.com/RTBP Podcast
to listen to the whole episode as well as gain access to over
120 episodes, see a bunch of live streams I've recorded over
the last couple years, join our Discord chat, and many other fun
things that we've got going on over there.
(12:00):
You will be joining a group of fun, sexy, supportive, and
politically engaged Petty Betty's If you head over to
patreon.com/RTBP Podcast. My hot tip is joining on a web
browser that's not Safari and not using the App Store because
(12:22):
they up charge you 30%. So use Google Chrome and do it
on the old lappy tappy and save an immediate 30%.
You can also try it out for a week for free see if you like
it. But seriously, what are you
waiting for? Head over to patreon.com/RTP
podcast and become an official Petty Betty today.
OK, love you. Bye.
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