May 22, 2025 • 41 mins
When did you first learn your body was “wrong”?
For nutrition coach Elizabeth Dahl, it started with a comment about her legs—and from there, years of restriction, shame, and disconnection followed.
In this honest and hopeful conversation, Elizabeth shares how she broke free from diet culture and found food freedom rooted in self-trust, not perfection. We talk about why "perfect plans" don’t work in real life, how to reset after tough moments with food, and why your body deserves to be nurtured, not punished.
If you're tired of starting over or overwhelmed by health advice, this episode will feel like a deep breath. Take a listen!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everybody and welcome back to the Real Food
Stories podcast.
Today, we are joined byElizabeth Dahl, a certified
women's nutrition coach andbehavior change expert, who
helps women break free fromdieting and create healthy
habits that stick.
Elizabeth's mission is toempower women to make peace with
food, embrace their bodies andbuild sustainable, healthy
(00:23):
habits that support lifelongwellness.
If you've ever struggled withinconsistency or felt stuck in
the cycle of dieting, thisepisode is for you.
Hi Elizabeth, welcome to theshow.
I know that when we talked offair, we realized that we had a
lot in common with how we workwith women, and making peace
(00:44):
with food is a big one for me,and I have my own personal
journey with that, which I haveshared endlessly on this podcast
, and I know you have your ownstory with food and body image,
as I believe we all do, and Ithink it's so helpful to
listeners to know that they'renot alone, and so that's why I
(01:07):
wanted you to come on and justshare your story, and then we'll
just get into a conversation.
So why don't you just jump inand tell me how you got to where
you are now?
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
So my story begins, like probably most women.
Some point in adolescencebegins, like probably most women
, some point in adolescencewhere we are taught that our
body is different, right,different than what it's
supposed to be, different thanhers, different than the ideal,
and mine really started.
I have a very specific memorywhen I was younger, when I would
(01:43):
wear this particular pair ofshorts.
I loved them, they were myfavorite shorts.
And when you're young, you knowyou find an outfit you love and
you just like repeat, repeat,right.
And I have a really vivid memoryof my grandma telling my mom
that I shouldn't wear thoseshorts because my legs were too
big for them.
And I'm sure it was a mixtureof that and she'd probably seen
(02:04):
me wear them several, severaltimes and like they were, like
they were kind of getting youknow old and stuff, but, um,
that really stuck with me and itwas a body image story that
that started that my legs aredifferent right there and I
equated that with wrong.
Um, they're not good enough,they're not small enough, they
(02:27):
don't look good enough in theseshorts.
I mean they were kind of short,they were short shorts and,
interestingly enough, after that, I mean for as long back as I
can remember, after that I neverwore short shorts and that's
really kind of where it startedfor me and body image and
working through that.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I can so relate to that story.
I have very similar storiesaround.
I can remember like the exactlike moment where I felt like I
turned from little girl intolike younger woman who has to
start being concerned abouttheir body and their and their
weight.
And and, oh, people are lookingat me and it sounds like you
(03:10):
had, you loved those shorts andyou love wearing them.
And suddenly someone pointedout to you and someone very
influential that no, you're likethese are.
This is not a good look for youand maybe you should lose a
little weight and maybe therewas some concern about what you
looked like.
So I can yeah, I have manystories like that that I can
(03:33):
definitely remember Tell me whathappened after that.
I mean, you were a young girlthen and how did it go on from
there?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
You know it kind of started a little cascade of
comparison.
You know it kind of started alittle cascade of comparison,
right?
So I started to I guess thatwas an entry point for me to
compare my body to others.
Oh, this must not be right orthis must be wrong.
And and as I got a little bitolder, you know I was born, I
was born in the 80s and so we,you know, in the 90s, tanning
(04:05):
was in full swing and I havereally fair skin and I used to
get made fun of for my fair skin.
People would tell me, go to thetanning salon, go to the
tanning salon.
And I go to the tanning salon,I get burned and I peel and like
I would never get tanned.
And it's just interestingbecause it really it started.
(04:28):
Honestly, if the one word couldsum it up, it just started this
lifetime of comparison.
Oh, I wasn't this size, so itwasn't right.
Right, it wasn't the idealimage and so it wasn't right.
And so then what I would do islike go find things that would
help me make it right, and I Inever really went terribly
(04:49):
extreme, um with things, but Ido have memories of, you know,
even like living at home tryingto fill, I remember specifically
like going to the grocery storeand filling the bottom drawer
of my fridge with vegetablesthat I was supposed to eat but
never actually did eat.
They went bad, you know, and soI would start just like in my
(05:13):
mind trying to do everything,but not really in real life.
You know, I think we do.
We do that a lot where it'slike I know I should be doing
these things or I shouldn't bedoing these things and that's
kind of it.
Kind of that kind of was.
The next step for me was okay,a constant comparison of what is
what I decided was ideal, right, and I got that from society or
(05:38):
from my peers and I wasconstantly adjusting that well,
what is ideal.
So it was kind of like the nextstage in my story.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, I can totally relate to that too, although you
are younger than me, but Idon't even think it matters.
The decade that we were raisedin, I was inundated with diets.
From that point, I was about 11years old when my father said
to me you might want to lose acouple pounds, you know, and
(06:08):
this is like my dad, you know.
And then the diets like rolledin, you know, and everyone
around me seemed to be on a dietfrom like a magazine or you
know, like those.
Maybe you don't even rememberthose magazine diets, but back
when I was growing up, there was, like you know, the magazines
with like the grapefruit diet orwhatever the diet was, and just
(06:31):
punishing, you know, just thispunishing.
And yeah, that's where thecomparison kind of starts.
Then you start to look at otheryoung girls who are naturally
like fed or they.
Yeah, they don't have fair skinlike you do, or I mean, it's,
it's and it's.
Society can be ruthless, right.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, and it's interesting too.
So I didn't ever thankfully Ididn't ever receive negative
body image information from myown mother, um, but it was
interesting because as I wasgoing through this process, you
know, my, my mom, was overweightand she never said anything,
and I don't know if I ever Idon't she didn't like wear
(07:15):
shorts or anything like that.
There wasn't, you know, therewasn't a lot of confidence there
, but she also wasn't belittling.
And it's so interesting though,because, because of the things
that I was going through and thecomparison, it bothered me that
she was overweight.
Like I was almost embarrassedfor her, um, which was a little
bit um, it's kind of interesting, like reliving this a little
(07:37):
bit.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I haven't done that for a while, but, um, I noticed
that for her interestinglyenough, and I think that added
another layer for me of like,well, I don't want to go there
either off diets because, likemy, my family, the women in my
(08:07):
family were very much like therewas just this you're on a diet,
then off a diet, then you know,and there's no appreciation or
love of food.
I mean we have.
I grew up in like a big foodiekind of family.
There was definitely foodaround but women weren't really
supposed to like food.
You know, like it was more for,like the men yeah, mine was a
little bit different.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
We didn't have a lot of little bit different.
We didn't have a lot of diets,but we, um, we didn't have a lot
of good food.
Like we, we couldn't afford alot of food, and so my, um, my,
my vegetable options were cannedbeans, canned peas and canned
corn, and you know, I was raisedon a lot of microwave meals and
(08:44):
things from the freezer, and soI don't know if there wasn't a
lot of resources to diet, if youknow what I mean, because some
of those diet foods were likeyou had to buy them, but it was
interesting because there wasthat lack of resources to do
that.
But, interestingly enough, myprobably biggest dieting
(09:05):
struggles actually came when Igot into college and started
learning more about nutrition.
And the more I learned aboutnutrition and I was with a whole
bunch of dieticians that wereeating food that I was like
that's not canned beans, likeyou are eating food I don't even
recognize.
And so then I felt like, wow,I'm way off base, I need to be
(09:28):
eating this.
And so then I restricted evenmore because I was learning
these foods are bad for you.
Ironically right, you're inschool.
These foods are bad for you,these foods are good for you.
And that's kind of the nextstep for me where, like, things
started to get really extreme,because I knew what would happen
in my body if I ate these foodsand what would happen if I ate
(09:52):
these foods.
So that's kind of that.
That's where things got even alittle more, I guess, dicey for
me.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
So you got caught up in like a right, this like
either, or right Like there's,rather than the thinking that
there's really no bad foods.
Right that there was like right, good foods, and and it's.
I mean that continues on tothis day.
I mean it's even probably worsenow, I think, than ever, that
you know if you're not cleaneating.
(10:19):
Or I see a lot of you knowvegan diets, because that's
supposed to be like the oh, Imean it looked like bird food to
me almost.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
you know, it was like always salads or always
something really healthy that Ibarely recognized and I thought,
well, I guess if I want to looklike that or if I want to be
healthy, that's the way I haveto do it.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
How did that turn out for you?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
have to do it.
How did that turn out for you?
So I I kind of I'm going torewind just a little bit.
I started in nursing anddecided pretty quickly that I
wanted to be on the preventativecare of preventative side of
things.
And so then I, you know, wentand got essentially where
everyone in the health, a lot ofpeople in the health and
wellness industry, start mypersonal training certificate.
So I became a personal trainerand I started getting clients
(11:31):
and they met with me a coupledays a week in the gym and then
I would give them a plan.
You know, the plan that theytold me in college would work
right, all the textbook, perfectplan.
And I'd give them this plan andI'd say, okay, this is what's
going to get you the results.
And they would come back andthey didn't them this plan and
I'd say, okay, this is what'sgoing to get you the results.
And they would come back andthey didn't follow the plan and
(11:51):
they weren't getting the results.
And I was like, well, this issupposed to work, so follow the
plan.
You know, and it took me alittle bit to realize, including
my own story of, well, whycan't I follow the plan?
Why do I sabotage every nightand eat treats and all of that
that.
A textbook, perfect plandoesn't fit in a busy, imperfect
life, and so I realized thattrue behavior change was about
(12:15):
more than following a plan, andthat's what we're given.
Right, those diets or plans dothis, get this result, but it
doesn't account for life.
It doesn't account for fatigueand stress and overwhelm and
sadness and happiness right, itdoesn't account for life's
imperfect structure.
And so that's really what ledme then to go for more schooling
(12:38):
down the path of like behaviorchange and coaching and like
what actually helps us createchange that's sustainable,
because we know these 30, 60, 90day diets are just leaving us
back in the same place westarted.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah, I can absolutely relate to that too,
because when I first started mypractice, that was I mean,
that's what everyone wants,right, that's what they.
They come to you and ask youjust give me the plan, just tell
me what to eat.
I don't know what to eat, Idon't know how to do it, and so
I'd give the plan.
You know, here's the plan.
And then nobody would followthe plan and I, I think I
(13:19):
started to realize that I knowthat everyone is very, very
individual, that they they havefood stories, right, stories,
backgrounds around how they wereraised, with food and body
image and how you know, andmaybe even saying get on, a plan
is too rigid and strict.
(13:39):
And we also know that we knowenough now.
I mean, diets just don't work,diets do not work, right, I mean
, everyone can stick to a 30 daydiet, right, you can, you can
buckle down, you can do that,you can, you know focus.
And then what happens?
I mean then life goes on Right,or you have a celebration, or
(14:00):
you have something, and then theplan is down the drain, and
then you then you're feelinghorrible about yourself because
you can't stick to the plan, andon and on, and then so I have
lots of clients and then myselfincluded.
Growing up I mean, I was ondiets and off diets.
That was my whole thing.
You're on a diet, you'restruggling, then you're like I
(14:22):
can't take this any longer.
You go off the diet and just onand on.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Yeah, and I think it's really important because
you know, there is a messagethat women that have been on
diets receive that diets don'twork.
But then we have a bit of aproblem here because what their
experience is and probably bothof our experiences is that when
I was on the diet it worked, andwhen I was off the diet it
(14:48):
didn't work.
I wasn't controlling right.
When I was tracking food it wasworking.
When I was not, I was free forall.
And so it's kind of interestingbecause we can shout from the
rooftops diets don't work,because we can shout from the
rooftops diets don't work.
But when we are stuck in aplace where it's either I have
to be rigid to get these resultsor else I'm out of control,
(15:10):
then we have a lot of evidenceon this side that actually diets
do work.
And I had a particular clientthat the only way she could ever
get to her goals was bytracking her macros.
She had to track her macros.
That was the only way that shewould get the results.
That's how she got her bestquote body right.
That that was how she got herresults.
And it was really difficult forher because she had a lot of
(15:33):
evidence that as soon as shestopped tracking, she lost
control around food, and so thestory and the belief for her was
that, like, diets actually didwork, it's just that she
couldn't maintain it.
Well, she didn't want to.
I think she knew that she could, like she's like, I can track
macros, but I don't want to livethat lifestyle.
And so for anyone that might befeeling that way, where it's
(15:54):
like, okay, you're telling mediets don't work, but this is
the only way I've ever been ableto, like, control my weight or
control my relationship withfood, Just know it's because we
have a lot of evidence on oneside and we need to start
building some evidence on theother side of, okay, if diets
don't work, then what does?
Right?
How can I start honoring mybody's hunger and fullness and
(16:18):
satisfaction needs?
Right, how can I start creatingbalance with food that I
generally lose control over ifI'm not on the diet?
And as we start to stack someevidence up on this other side,
then it helps us realize, likeit helps us step into that truth
, that diets actually don't work.
But if you've been in that forso long, I can understand why.
(16:41):
It would be hard to believethat.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
That's a very good point and you're right.
I mean diets.
When you are on the diet, dietsdo work.
Right, you end up losing weight.
Someone's giving you the plan,you're following it and the goal
is typically to lose weight.
Right, and you can lose weighton a diet.
(17:06):
It's, I guess, what my point isthat, like it's I don't know
anyone, do you?
I mean, maybe you do, I don'tknow anyone who has ever said I
went on the paleo diet and I'mstill on it Two years later.
Nobody, I mean said nobody ever.
So I feel like diets, take whatdiets do, is you know?
(17:28):
You mentioned like hunger andfullness.
It takes the guesswork out ofeverything.
Right, for 30 days I can justjust someone tell me what to do.
But all of those things tuninginto your hunger, your fullness,
your moods, how you're feelingthat day, your fatigue levels,
(17:50):
anything that's going to liketrigger hunger, just all your
emotions, is not part of thediet, right?
They don't.
Diets don't teach you how tolike, pay attention and be
mindful, and that's.
Those are the skills that youneed for like, long lasting
change.
So diets do work.
You're right for the short termand I don't think that there's
(18:15):
anything wrong with using tools,like if counting macros is
something that helps you.
I love information, so trackingmy food every once in a while
is never a bad thing If I feellike I've gotten like totally
off base.
Am I tracking my food forever?
Probably not because I like tolive and like enjoy food food
forever.
Probably not Cause I like tolive and like enjoy food and you
(18:37):
know just but.
But for the information it'snot a bad thing.
So, yeah, I, but I, I, I likewhat?
How you said that the diets dowork until, but until they don't
.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, um, I have a funny analogy.
It's a potty training analogy.
So anyone that's potty traineda child will understand this.
It's a potty training analogy.
So anyone that's potty traineda child will understand this.
But you know what, when westart potty training, um, the
first day of potty training,you're you're what you're trying
to do.
The goal of potty training isto get your child to recognize
(19:07):
those particular cues in theirbody.
And the first day you're notlike going to Disneyland, you
are at home, it is all hands ondeck, you are in it.
Right, you're teaching them.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Lots of accidents and you're learning.
And then a few days lateryou're like, okay, we're doing.
Okay, maybe we can venture outto the park.
And then maybe a week lateryou're like, okay, we're doing
pretty good.
This child recognizes thosecues anywhere.
We can go to the restaurant, wecan go to the park.
And that's the same way when itcomes to recognizing the cues in
(19:39):
our body.
Because we can go all the wayback to the beginning of what we
talked about today, ofsomewhere in our lives.
We disconnected from our body'scues because of what we were
told right, this was wrong, soyou should go on this diet.
And so we shifted fromlistening to our body's cues,
which a baby's really good at.
(19:59):
It has that gift and we havethat gift still in there.
But we, we, we, we were told orwe chose to suppress or ignore
it, those cues.
And so we said, okay, they'resupposed to tell me what to do,
right?
And so now we've got all thesewomen, including ourselves,
where we've been through thispath of well, they know better
(20:20):
and I should follow that diet,because that's the way it is.
And we don't recognize thesecues.
And so, when you were talkingabout tracking, sometimes I say
you know, tracking is a littlebit like potty training.
Tracking.
Sometimes I say, you know,tracking is a little bit like
potty training.
It's not something that we haveto do forever, but it can be
helpful at the very beginning tosay I need to figure out how to
(20:42):
recognize these cues right.
I need to pay really closeattention and I usually start
women with a mindful eatingpractice where we sit down and
I'm happy to provide I have afree mindful eating audio
meditation where you sit downand I'm happy to provide.
I have a free mindful eatingaudio meditation where you sit
down and you just you listen, oryou listen to your body with
food.
How do I feel?
What are my hunger levels?
What are my fullness levels?
(21:03):
Am I satisfied with this meal?
And you start creating thatconnection of trust with your
body rather than with the dietsor the plans.
And the cool thing is is youhave that gift, you still have
it in you, it's always yours andyou're going to start
retraining your body to listenand your body does the coolest
(21:24):
thing.
It tells you hey, I'm hungry,hey, I'm full, hey, I'm
satisfied.
This food is what helps me feelbetter and you don't need an
outside diet to tell you thatthere are good nutrition
strategies and it's important tohave one because certain foods
help our bodies give usdifferent signals, of course,
(21:46):
but when you understand theprinciples of nutrition right
which might take some little bitof tracking, understanding
macronutrients at the beginningOnce you get good at it, then,
essentially, like potty training, you can access those cues
anywhere without losing control.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah, good point.
I mean, I think that that's agood analogy, that I mean babies
, you know when they're let's goback before potty training.
I mean they're, they are sotuned into their hunger and
fullness cues, right, whenthey're they're not paying
attention, like, oh, I shouldfinish everything on my plate,
you know like, you know, orbecause there's you know, my mom
(22:29):
told me I had to, like you know, eat it all.
I mean, they're like whenthey're.
You know you've got youngchildren.
When they're full, they're like, you know they're done.
They're done when they'rehungry.
They're hungry and they'relistening.
They're tuning into their cuesuntil right, somewhere, somehow,
somebody, society, whoever likestarts to influence them.
(22:54):
Oh, you should eat everythingon your plate, even if, like, it
goes past fullness.
You should ignore your hungercues.
You just had a snack, why areyou like?
Right, all of that.
So, but I like the pottytraining analogy too.
I think most of us can.
If we have kids, we candefinitely relate to that, and
it takes practice, right, ittakes practice, right.
(23:15):
It takes practice.
Then, to get back to recognizingyour hunger and fullness cues.
It takes a lot of mindfulness,right, it takes a lot of just
like, just pausing and just likeam I hungry?
And am I physically hungry oram I, like, hungry because I'm
having a bad day?
Am I hungry because I just gotinto a fight with someone?
Am I, you know, am I like, am Ireacting to something else?
(23:38):
And that's a huge differencetoo and also, I think, takes a
lot of practice.
So I'm just curious how youknow, we talked originally at
the beginning about how you madepeace with food and your food.
So tell me a little bit moreabout how you did that, because
(23:59):
you said, you know, we kind ofleft off of your story that you
were in college and you werehanging out with the dieticians
and food got a little confusingto you.
Yeah, that's a good question.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
I like to tell my clients that food freedom is not
a perfect relationship withfood.
It's a relationship with foodwhere you realign quicker.
So if you have a goodrelationship with food, that
doesn't mean that you'll neverovereat or you'll never have an
emotional eating episode.
I think that's really importantbecause sometimes we're um as
(24:34):
coaches.
You know people put us on apedestal, like you never have
issues, and the truth is is um,a good relationship with food is
one that you're always workingon, and so I have ebbed and
flowed in my relationship withfood from there, and you know it
was.
It was a little bit ofexperience with my clients where
I would be like, okay, let'stry this or let's let's work on
(24:55):
this, um, and it would kind ofteach me some things.
But I think the the biggestthing that has helped me and
helps me keep coming back rightwhen maybe I do have an
emotional day and I'm like, oh,yeah, I really I let this get
the best of me or something.
It comes back to yourrelationship with your body, and
(25:19):
that's where it came for me wasthat I had to come to a place
of peace with my body, becausefor so many years the story was
that my body wasn't good enough.
It was.
I always needed to escape it.
And that's how we enter thediet cycle, by the way, is
anytime that you enter the dietcycle, think about this has been
(25:40):
because you've wanted to escapeyour body, you've wanted to get
out of the size that you're inor the look that you have, and
then you do something drastic,and that's usually what starts
the diet cycle.
And so really, what I had to dois come to peace with my body,
that it's good and it's going togo through seasons and it's
worthy of being nurtured andnourished to change rather than
(26:04):
punished and shamed to change.
And so once I started makingthat shift and I think it you
know it was me kind of teachingmy clients that to then sort of
digest it myself a little bitbetter you know that I realized,
oh okay, my body's good.
And instead of restricting allthese things and looking, like
(26:26):
you mentioned earlier, as blackand white all or nothing, it's
the pendulum or a swing.
For example, if you pull a swingreally really really far back
one direction, it's going toswing really really far in the
other direction, and dietsusually pull that swing really
far in the restriction side.
And so when we lose control,when something happens, sabotage
(26:47):
, we swing really hard the otherdirection and we lose control
with food and a goodrelationship with food exists
somewhere in the middle.
Right, we need freedom, but wealso need some boundaries.
And when you have a betterrelationship with your body that
says you know, I'm worthy ofenjoyment with food, my body's
(27:10):
worthy of nourishment andnurturing, then we can also
discuss the, you know, likechanging your body from a place
of nurturing.
Right, maybe weight loss is thegoal, that's okay, but it came
from a different place and sothat's what helped me then, like
get to my weight that felt thebest and get my body to the
(27:31):
place that felt the best, and myhabits were all about
supporting my body rather thanlooking a certain way or losing
a certain amount of weight.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Yeah, totally agreed.
Well, I also think that for alot of women to get out of that
mindset of I'm not good enoughor my body's not worth, it is a
very hard ask, I mean, withsociety and all our messaging
around what a woman should looklike.
It's sometimes impossible andtakes a lot of like
(28:08):
reprogramming.
I mean.
I know for me it definitely did.
I had to like, I mean I was outof getting my master's, my body
as it was, that I ended up.
(28:34):
I had some whatever do I want tocall it baby weight.
You know I was then like alittle a couple of years past my
babies and you know I couldn'treally call it baby weight
anymore.
But I'll call it baby weightand you know, but I could not
have lost that weight and keptit off if I was still in that
mindset of like I need to dothis because of what society
(28:59):
thinks I should look like, orI'm going to punish myself into
like you know, submission.
I had to like really do a lotof work with myself on, on just
making peace with food andmaking peace with my body, you
know, and really cheering myselfon.
So I think there's a hugedifference, you know, in.
(29:21):
You know you said like, like.
There's nothing wrong with thegoal of losing weight, but
losing weight from a dietperspective and losing weight
from you know this other, moregentle, compassionate
perspective is huge.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Yeah, and it kind of goes.
It kind of goes back to youknow, we talked about like diets
don't work and, um, I was justthinking when I so I'm a year
postpartum, a year and a fewmonths, and this is my third
baby and three for three.
I'm three for three right now,where I actually don't gain a
(29:58):
lot of weight during pregnancyand I usually am fine postpartum
, but as soon as I stoppednursing, my weight just
increases.
Um, and it's something that Ihave to kind of process and work
on, because sometimes there'sthat expectation like, well,
gosh, I am a year out and I'm abeliever that postpartum is like
(30:22):
five years, but, um, but it'sinteresting because when you say
like diets, like I alwaysattach it with a time frame and
so diets are like time bound andsomething, for example, like
get my body back, could beconsidered a diet, because we're
like, oh, I got to get it backwithin a year or within six
(30:44):
months or whatever, but thetruth is my body just takes some
adjusting.
Six months or whatever, um, butthe truth is my body just takes
some adjusting and I've had tolearn that because I'll like
stop nursing and then my hungercues are still there and it
takes me about a year for mybody to like re-register that
I'm not hungry all the timebecause I'm not like burning all
the calories and I thinksometimes we fight so hard
(31:04):
against that because we don'thave a good relationship with
our body.
But when we understand, hey,sometimes our body goes through
seasons of adjustment right,we've talked about menopause.
There's some adjustment seasonsthat have to happen and weight
will fluctuate, body fatpatterning will fluctuate, right
, with menopause and and all thetransitions in a woman's life,
(31:29):
things will fluctuate.
And if we have that solidfoundation of my body is good
and it's worthy of still beingnurtured and nourished.
It's going to be worthy thenand now yeah, great, I mean that
that's.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
That's a really good example and story.
I mean about your postpartumweight and where you're at and
everything.
Because I know for me when Ihad my kids it was nine months
up, nine months down.
That was the rule.
And if you hit the nine monthsdown and you still weren't down,
(32:06):
something was wrong.
You know, like something.
And even I mean, and then youknow you always had those
friends who like literallywalked out of the hospital
looking like they never had ababy and that was huge pressure
too.
And it's such a good point thatwe all I mean we all react
differently.
It does take time, but I thinkif you're in that like that
(32:29):
postpartum phase and like youknow you and you're beating
yourself up about it and doingsomething drastic and radical,
that's not going to work.
It's it's that's never going towork and it make you feel good.
I mean you really have to justembrace the, the season of life.
You're in, the compassionaround it, what you just went
(32:51):
through as a you know, birthinga child and then breastfeeding,
and I mean the whole thing, thewhole experience, it's huge yeah
so, yeah, it's, that's, that'sa really good, a good point.
So what would you say to womenwho are like struggling with
(33:12):
some just consistency?
You know, staying consistent,because I know, for me, for
example, I, you know, when Isaid I lost this weight, you
know that I ended up thenkeeping off for a very long time
.
But it's the consistent, it'sthe.
You know, it's easy to lose theweight.
(33:32):
Sometimes it's much easier tolike right, we can focus, we can
lose the weight, and then wehave to.
Then there's the after part wehave to maintain it, and the
maintaining is a whole differentballgame.
And because you have to stayconsistent with what you're
doing and then throw in, youknow, just getting older and
(33:55):
like aging and our metabolism,but besides that, let's just
talk about you know the stayingconsistent, what are?
You know?
What would you say to someonewho is trying to just maintain
what they've got, they'veaccomplished?
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Yeah, first of all, be proud of the efforts that
you've put in.
I think sometimes I don't knowwhat it is.
As women, we just don'tcelebrate ourselves enough.
We are always looking at thegap rather than what we've
gained and what we've developedand what we've learned.
So I think that's the firstpiece is like maybe you have
overcome something that's hard,maybe you've worked through a
(34:36):
big diet, history, or maybe youhave birthed babies or worked
through an illness or something,and I think it's really
important first of all tocelebrate that your body got you
through that.
And there can be feelings andemotions, right, that maybe that
was hard or maybe you're stillstruggling with some things, but
you're getting through it andyou're there.
(34:57):
But I have a unique definitionof sabotage and it is the
expectation of perfection.
We will sabotage every time.
We expect things to be perfect,and so what happens is we
follow the diet which isessentially supposed to be that
(35:18):
textbook perfect plan like wetalked about, and then we don't
know how to keep up a perfectplan in an imperfect life and so
we sabotage because we expectit to keep going that same way.
And it really goes back toidentity.
And I always tell women, sincemy platform is a woman of
(35:40):
wellness.
I always ask them to identifywhat a woman of wellness is to
them.
Who is that in them?
What does she do?
What does she like?
What does she like to do?
How is she healthy?
Because that's a differentdefinition for you than it is
for me and her, and so we reallyhave to define, okay, what is a
(36:01):
woman of wellness first of all,and what does that look like
for me?
Does that look like I'm running10 miles a day?
Or does that look like I have aregular movement routine and I
look for ways to move my bodyand I, you know, do strength
training a couple of times perweek, or am I a CrossFitter or
am I a swimmer?
Um, what is that identity ofthat woman of wellness I want to
(36:23):
become, and then recognize thatwe're not setting up
expectations of perfection,because that's going to lead us
to sabotage every single time,but rather can I find some
consistency with things thatsupport that vision, and then it
makes those things a little biteasier to keep doing because
(36:44):
we're not looking at it as blackor white.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Right, great point, all right.
Final question for you.
I cause I'm a little this is myown personal like vendetta with
social media and the internet,and I mean you know you click on
just one.
I mean you are much youngerthan me but welcome to your 50s
(37:09):
and, like you know, see what theanti-aging movement is and you
know, and how you're almostsupposed to be aging in reverse,
you know.
So I find social media to beabsolutely overwhelming with
information and a lot ofterrible, terrible information,
(37:31):
a lot of terrible, terribleinformation.
So how do you approach women orhelp them, who just feel
overwhelmed by all the healthadvice out there?
What would you tell someonewho's like I saw something, you
know this, these supplements Ishould be taking, or this diet I
should be doing, or theseexercises I should be engaging
in?
What do you tell women?
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Three words curate your noise.
There is so much noise outthere and this is an opportunity
.
We can't always control what'scoming in, but we can control
what we're going and looking forand and that we're actually
engaging on the platform.
That doesn't mean we don't haveto, we can't be on it, but we
do need to be.
We need to be ruthless incurating what we um, what we
(38:13):
want, and I and I always tellwomen, um, if, if an account or
or a message makes you feel lessthan in your body, pass because
it's not supporting the, thecore and the, the root of.
I have a good relationship withmy body and it's worthy of
being nurtured and nourished.
(38:33):
So if you feel less than in anyway, it's not a supportive
measure.
And there's some really goodmeaning accounts out there, you
know, and that's okay too,that's okay too.
(38:53):
But if it specifically for youdoes not nurture or nourish your
mindset and your body, toss itHard pass.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Yeah, I agree with you.
It's hard, though, to not getcaught up in some of the I mean
yeah, internet is crazy.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
It kind of makes me think about gosh.
There's like dating apps Idon't know because I haven't
been on them, but where youswipe right and swipe left for
yes or no Part of me is likegosh.
Wouldn't it be cool if socialmedia did that, where you swiped
right, You're like no, I don'twant to see that.
No, I don't want to see that.
Versus oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah, I know.
No, it makes it almostimpossible to just even swipe
quickly through that.
You get caught up in like that.
Yes, it's like sitting in themiddle of Times Square, you know
, with all the lights and thesigns and the.
I mean it's just you get, yeah,good suggestions and I like
that.
You said curate your noise.
(39:43):
That's a good way to end things, elizabeth, thank you so much.
I really appreciate you sharingyour story today and talking
about making peace with food andthe consistency that we need to
have and the mindfulness thatwe can cultivate to have some
more compassion and to make, Ithink, longer lasting changes
(40:08):
with our bodies as women.
So, thank you very much, Ireally appreciate it.
Thank you for having me.
Hi everybody and welcome back to the Real Food
Stories podcast.
Today, we are joined byElizabeth Dahl, a certified
women's nutrition coach andbehavior change expert, who
helps women break free fromdieting and create healthy
habits that stick.
Elizabeth's mission is toempower women to make peace with
food, embrace their bodies andbuild sustainable, healthy
(00:23):
habits that support lifelongwellness.
If you've ever struggled withinconsistency or felt stuck in
the cycle of dieting, thisepisode is for you.
Hi Elizabeth, welcome to theshow.
I know that when we talked offair, we realized that we had a
lot in common with how we workwith women, and making peace
(00:44):
with food is a big one for me,and I have my own personal
journey with that, which I haveshared endlessly on this podcast
, and I know you have your ownstory with food and body image,
as I believe we all do, and Ithink it's so helpful to
listeners to know that they'renot alone, and so that's why I
(01:07):
wanted you to come on and justshare your story, and then we'll
just get into a conversation.
So why don't you just jump inand tell me how you got to where
you are now?
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
So my story begins, like probably most women.
Some point in adolescencebegins, like probably most women
, some point in adolescencewhere we are taught that our
body is different, right,different than what it's
supposed to be, different thanhers, different than the ideal,
and mine really started.
I have a very specific memorywhen I was younger, when I would
(01:43):
wear this particular pair ofshorts.
I loved them, they were myfavorite shorts.
And when you're young, you knowyou find an outfit you love and
you just like repeat, repeat,right.
And I have a really vivid memoryof my grandma telling my mom
that I shouldn't wear thoseshorts because my legs were too
big for them.
And I'm sure it was a mixtureof that and she'd probably seen
(02:04):
me wear them several, severaltimes and like they were, like
they were kind of getting youknow old and stuff, but, um,
that really stuck with me and itwas a body image story that
that started that my legs aredifferent right there and I
equated that with wrong.
Um, they're not good enough,they're not small enough, they
(02:27):
don't look good enough in theseshorts.
I mean they were kind of short,they were short shorts and,
interestingly enough, after that, I mean for as long back as I
can remember, after that I neverwore short shorts and that's
really kind of where it startedfor me and body image and
working through that.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I can so relate to that story.
I have very similar storiesaround.
I can remember like the exactlike moment where I felt like I
turned from little girl intolike younger woman who has to
start being concerned abouttheir body and their and their
weight.
And and, oh, people are lookingat me and it sounds like you
(03:10):
had, you loved those shorts andyou love wearing them.
And suddenly someone pointedout to you and someone very
influential that no, you're likethese are.
This is not a good look for youand maybe you should lose a
little weight and maybe therewas some concern about what you
looked like.
So I can yeah, I have manystories like that that I can
(03:33):
definitely remember Tell me whathappened after that.
I mean, you were a young girlthen and how did it go on from
there?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
You know it kind of started a little cascade of
comparison.
You know it kind of started alittle cascade of comparison,
right?
So I started to I guess thatwas an entry point for me to
compare my body to others.
Oh, this must not be right orthis must be wrong.
And and as I got a little bitolder, you know I was born, I
was born in the 80s and so we,you know, in the 90s, tanning
(04:05):
was in full swing and I havereally fair skin and I used to
get made fun of for my fair skin.
People would tell me, go to thetanning salon, go to the
tanning salon.
And I go to the tanning salon,I get burned and I peel and like
I would never get tanned.
And it's just interestingbecause it really it started.
(04:28):
Honestly, if the one word couldsum it up, it just started this
lifetime of comparison.
Oh, I wasn't this size, so itwasn't right.
Right, it wasn't the idealimage and so it wasn't right.
And so then what I would do islike go find things that would
help me make it right, and I Inever really went terribly
(04:49):
extreme, um with things, but Ido have memories of, you know,
even like living at home tryingto fill, I remember specifically
like going to the grocery storeand filling the bottom drawer
of my fridge with vegetablesthat I was supposed to eat but
never actually did eat.
They went bad, you know, and soI would start just like in my
(05:13):
mind trying to do everything,but not really in real life.
You know, I think we do.
We do that a lot where it'slike I know I should be doing
these things or I shouldn't bedoing these things and that's
kind of it.
Kind of that kind of was.
The next step for me was okay,a constant comparison of what is
what I decided was ideal, right, and I got that from society or
(05:38):
from my peers and I wasconstantly adjusting that well,
what is ideal.
So it was kind of like the nextstage in my story.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, I can totally relate to that too, although you
are younger than me, but Idon't even think it matters.
The decade that we were raisedin, I was inundated with diets.
From that point, I was about 11years old when my father said
to me you might want to lose acouple pounds, you know, and
(06:08):
this is like my dad, you know.
And then the diets like rolledin, you know, and everyone
around me seemed to be on a dietfrom like a magazine or you
know, like those.
Maybe you don't even rememberthose magazine diets, but back
when I was growing up, there was, like you know, the magazines
with like the grapefruit diet orwhatever the diet was, and just
(06:31):
punishing, you know, just thispunishing.
And yeah, that's where thecomparison kind of starts.
Then you start to look at otheryoung girls who are naturally
like fed or they.
Yeah, they don't have fair skinlike you do, or I mean, it's,
it's and it's.
Society can be ruthless, right.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, and it's interesting too.
So I didn't ever thankfully Ididn't ever receive negative
body image information from myown mother, um, but it was
interesting because as I wasgoing through this process, you
know, my, my mom, was overweightand she never said anything,
and I don't know if I ever Idon't she didn't like wear
(07:15):
shorts or anything like that.
There wasn't, you know, therewasn't a lot of confidence there
, but she also wasn't belittling.
And it's so interesting though,because, because of the things
that I was going through and thecomparison, it bothered me that
she was overweight.
Like I was almost embarrassedfor her, um, which was a little
bit um, it's kind of interesting, like reliving this a little
(07:37):
bit.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I haven't done that for a while, but, um, I noticed
that for her interestinglyenough, and I think that added
another layer for me of like,well, I don't want to go there
either off diets because, likemy, my family, the women in my
(08:07):
family were very much like therewas just this you're on a diet,
then off a diet, then you know,and there's no appreciation or
love of food.
I mean we have.
I grew up in like a big foodiekind of family.
There was definitely foodaround but women weren't really
supposed to like food.
You know, like it was more for,like the men yeah, mine was a
little bit different.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
We didn't have a lot of little bit different.
We didn't have a lot of diets,but we, um, we didn't have a lot
of good food.
Like we, we couldn't afford alot of food, and so my, um, my,
my vegetable options were cannedbeans, canned peas and canned
corn, and you know, I was raisedon a lot of microwave meals and
(08:44):
things from the freezer, and soI don't know if there wasn't a
lot of resources to diet, if youknow what I mean, because some
of those diet foods were likeyou had to buy them, but it was
interesting because there wasthat lack of resources to do
that.
But, interestingly enough, myprobably biggest dieting
(09:05):
struggles actually came when Igot into college and started
learning more about nutrition.
And the more I learned aboutnutrition and I was with a whole
bunch of dieticians that wereeating food that I was like
that's not canned beans, likeyou are eating food I don't even
recognize.
And so then I felt like, wow,I'm way off base, I need to be
(09:28):
eating this.
And so then I restricted evenmore because I was learning
these foods are bad for you.
Ironically right, you're inschool.
These foods are bad for you,these foods are good for you.
And that's kind of the nextstep for me where, like, things
started to get really extreme,because I knew what would happen
in my body if I ate these foodsand what would happen if I ate
(09:52):
these foods.
So that's kind of that.
That's where things got even alittle more, I guess, dicey for
me.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
So you got caught up in like a right, this like
either, or right Like there's,rather than the thinking that
there's really no bad foods.
Right that there was like right, good foods, and and it's.
I mean that continues on tothis day.
I mean it's even probably worsenow, I think, than ever, that
you know if you're not cleaneating.
(10:19):
Or I see a lot of you knowvegan diets, because that's
supposed to be like the oh, Imean it looked like bird food to
me almost.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
you know, it was like always salads or always
something really healthy that Ibarely recognized and I thought,
well, I guess if I want to looklike that or if I want to be
healthy, that's the way I haveto do it.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
How did that turn out for you?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
have to do it.
How did that turn out for you?
So I I kind of I'm going torewind just a little bit.
I started in nursing anddecided pretty quickly that I
wanted to be on the preventativecare of preventative side of
things.
And so then I, you know, wentand got essentially where
everyone in the health, a lot ofpeople in the health and
wellness industry, start mypersonal training certificate.
So I became a personal trainerand I started getting clients
(11:31):
and they met with me a coupledays a week in the gym and then
I would give them a plan.
You know, the plan that theytold me in college would work
right, all the textbook, perfectplan.
And I'd give them this plan andI'd say, okay, this is what's
going to get you the results.
And they would come back andthey didn't them this plan and
I'd say, okay, this is what'sgoing to get you the results.
And they would come back andthey didn't follow the plan and
(11:51):
they weren't getting the results.
And I was like, well, this issupposed to work, so follow the
plan.
You know, and it took me alittle bit to realize, including
my own story of, well, whycan't I follow the plan?
Why do I sabotage every nightand eat treats and all of that
that.
A textbook, perfect plandoesn't fit in a busy, imperfect
life, and so I realized thattrue behavior change was about
(12:15):
more than following a plan, andthat's what we're given.
Right, those diets or plans dothis, get this result, but it
doesn't account for life.
It doesn't account for fatigueand stress and overwhelm and
sadness and happiness right, itdoesn't account for life's
imperfect structure.
And so that's really what ledme then to go for more schooling
(12:38):
down the path of like behaviorchange and coaching and like
what actually helps us createchange that's sustainable,
because we know these 30, 60, 90day diets are just leaving us
back in the same place westarted.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah, I can absolutely relate to that too,
because when I first started mypractice, that was I mean,
that's what everyone wants,right, that's what they.
They come to you and ask youjust give me the plan, just tell
me what to eat.
I don't know what to eat, Idon't know how to do it, and so
I'd give the plan.
You know, here's the plan.
And then nobody would followthe plan and I, I think I
(13:19):
started to realize that I knowthat everyone is very, very
individual, that they they havefood stories, right, stories,
backgrounds around how they wereraised, with food and body
image and how you know, andmaybe even saying get on, a plan
is too rigid and strict.
(13:39):
And we also know that we knowenough now.
I mean, diets just don't work,diets do not work, right, I mean
, everyone can stick to a 30 daydiet, right, you can, you can
buckle down, you can do that,you can, you know focus.
And then what happens?
I mean then life goes on Right,or you have a celebration, or
(14:00):
you have something, and then theplan is down the drain, and
then you then you're feelinghorrible about yourself because
you can't stick to the plan, andon and on, and then so I have
lots of clients and then myselfincluded.
Growing up I mean, I was ondiets and off diets.
That was my whole thing.
You're on a diet, you'restruggling, then you're like I
(14:22):
can't take this any longer.
You go off the diet and just onand on.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Yeah, and I think it's really important because
you know, there is a messagethat women that have been on
diets receive that diets don'twork.
But then we have a bit of aproblem here because what their
experience is and probably bothof our experiences is that when
I was on the diet it worked, andwhen I was off the diet it
(14:48):
didn't work.
I wasn't controlling right.
When I was tracking food it wasworking.
When I was not, I was free forall.
And so it's kind of interestingbecause we can shout from the
rooftops diets don't work,because we can shout from the
rooftops diets don't work.
But when we are stuck in aplace where it's either I have
to be rigid to get these resultsor else I'm out of control,
(15:10):
then we have a lot of evidenceon this side that actually diets
do work.
And I had a particular clientthat the only way she could ever
get to her goals was bytracking her macros.
She had to track her macros.
That was the only way that shewould get the results.
That's how she got her bestquote body right.
That that was how she got herresults.
And it was really difficult forher because she had a lot of
(15:33):
evidence that as soon as shestopped tracking, she lost
control around food, and so thestory and the belief for her was
that, like, diets actually didwork, it's just that she
couldn't maintain it.
Well, she didn't want to.
I think she knew that she could, like she's like, I can track
macros, but I don't want to livethat lifestyle.
And so for anyone that might befeeling that way, where it's
(15:54):
like, okay, you're telling mediets don't work, but this is
the only way I've ever been ableto, like, control my weight or
control my relationship withfood, Just know it's because we
have a lot of evidence on oneside and we need to start
building some evidence on theother side of, okay, if diets
don't work, then what does?
Right?
How can I start honoring mybody's hunger and fullness and
(16:18):
satisfaction needs?
Right, how can I start creatingbalance with food that I
generally lose control over ifI'm not on the diet?
And as we start to stack someevidence up on this other side,
then it helps us realize, likeit helps us step into that truth
, that diets actually don't work.
But if you've been in that forso long, I can understand why.
(16:41):
It would be hard to believethat.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
That's a very good point and you're right.
I mean diets.
When you are on the diet, dietsdo work.
Right, you end up losing weight.
Someone's giving you the plan,you're following it and the goal
is typically to lose weight.
Right, and you can lose weighton a diet.
(17:06):
It's, I guess, what my point isthat, like it's I don't know
anyone, do you?
I mean, maybe you do, I don'tknow anyone who has ever said I
went on the paleo diet and I'mstill on it Two years later.
Nobody, I mean said nobody ever.
So I feel like diets, take whatdiets do, is you know?
(17:28):
You mentioned like hunger andfullness.
It takes the guesswork out ofeverything.
Right, for 30 days I can justjust someone tell me what to do.
But all of those things tuninginto your hunger, your fullness,
your moods, how you're feelingthat day, your fatigue levels,
(17:50):
anything that's going to liketrigger hunger, just all your
emotions, is not part of thediet, right?
They don't.
Diets don't teach you how tolike, pay attention and be
mindful, and that's.
Those are the skills that youneed for like, long lasting
change.
So diets do work.
You're right for the short termand I don't think that there's
(18:15):
anything wrong with using tools,like if counting macros is
something that helps you.
I love information, so trackingmy food every once in a while
is never a bad thing If I feellike I've gotten like totally
off base.
Am I tracking my food forever?
Probably not because I like tolive and like enjoy food food
forever.
Probably not Cause I like tolive and like enjoy food and you
(18:37):
know just but.
But for the information it'snot a bad thing.
So, yeah, I, but I, I, I likewhat?
How you said that the diets dowork until, but until they don't
.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, um, I have a funny analogy.
It's a potty training analogy.
So anyone that's potty traineda child will understand this.
It's a potty training analogy.
So anyone that's potty traineda child will understand this.
But you know what, when westart potty training, um, the
first day of potty training,you're you're what you're trying
to do.
The goal of potty training isto get your child to recognize
(19:07):
those particular cues in theirbody.
And the first day you're notlike going to Disneyland, you
are at home, it is all hands ondeck, you are in it.
Right, you're teaching them.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Lots of accidents and you're learning.
And then a few days lateryou're like, okay, we're doing.
Okay, maybe we can venture outto the park.
And then maybe a week lateryou're like, okay, we're doing
pretty good.
This child recognizes thosecues anywhere.
We can go to the restaurant, wecan go to the park.
And that's the same way when itcomes to recognizing the cues in
(19:39):
our body.
Because we can go all the wayback to the beginning of what we
talked about today, ofsomewhere in our lives.
We disconnected from our body'scues because of what we were
told right, this was wrong, soyou should go on this diet.
And so we shifted fromlistening to our body's cues,
which a baby's really good at.
(19:59):
It has that gift and we havethat gift still in there.
But we, we, we, we were told orwe chose to suppress or ignore
it, those cues.
And so we said, okay, they'resupposed to tell me what to do,
right?
And so now we've got all thesewomen, including ourselves,
where we've been through thispath of well, they know better
(20:20):
and I should follow that diet,because that's the way it is.
And we don't recognize thesecues.
And so, when you were talkingabout tracking, sometimes I say
you know, tracking is a littlebit like potty training.
Tracking.
Sometimes I say, you know,tracking is a little bit like
potty training.
It's not something that we haveto do forever, but it can be
helpful at the very beginning tosay I need to figure out how to
(20:42):
recognize these cues right.
I need to pay really closeattention and I usually start
women with a mindful eatingpractice where we sit down and
I'm happy to provide I have afree mindful eating audio
meditation where you sit downand I'm happy to provide.
I have a free mindful eatingaudio meditation where you sit
down and you just you listen, oryou listen to your body with
food.
How do I feel?
What are my hunger levels?
What are my fullness levels?
(21:03):
Am I satisfied with this meal?
And you start creating thatconnection of trust with your
body rather than with the dietsor the plans.
And the cool thing is is youhave that gift, you still have
it in you, it's always yours andyou're going to start
retraining your body to listenand your body does the coolest
(21:24):
thing.
It tells you hey, I'm hungry,hey, I'm full, hey, I'm
satisfied.
This food is what helps me feelbetter and you don't need an
outside diet to tell you thatthere are good nutrition
strategies and it's important tohave one because certain foods
help our bodies give usdifferent signals, of course,
(21:46):
but when you understand theprinciples of nutrition right
which might take some little bitof tracking, understanding
macronutrients at the beginningOnce you get good at it, then,
essentially, like potty training, you can access those cues
anywhere without losing control.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah, good point.
I mean, I think that that's agood analogy, that I mean babies
, you know when they're let's goback before potty training.
I mean they're, they are sotuned into their hunger and
fullness cues, right, whenthey're they're not paying
attention, like, oh, I shouldfinish everything on my plate,
you know like, you know, orbecause there's you know, my mom
(22:29):
told me I had to, like you know, eat it all.
I mean, they're like whenthey're.
You know you've got youngchildren.
When they're full, they're like, you know they're done.
They're done when they'rehungry.
They're hungry and they'relistening.
They're tuning into their cuesuntil right, somewhere, somehow,
somebody, society, whoever likestarts to influence them.
(22:54):
Oh, you should eat everythingon your plate, even if, like, it
goes past fullness.
You should ignore your hungercues.
You just had a snack, why areyou like?
Right, all of that.
So, but I like the pottytraining analogy too.
I think most of us can.
If we have kids, we candefinitely relate to that, and
it takes practice, right, ittakes practice, right.
(23:15):
It takes practice.
Then, to get back to recognizingyour hunger and fullness cues.
It takes a lot of mindfulness,right, it takes a lot of just
like, just pausing and just likeam I hungry?
And am I physically hungry oram I, like, hungry because I'm
having a bad day?
Am I hungry because I just gotinto a fight with someone?
Am I, you know, am I like, am Ireacting to something else?
(23:38):
And that's a huge differencetoo and also, I think, takes a
lot of practice.
So I'm just curious how youknow, we talked originally at
the beginning about how you madepeace with food and your food.
So tell me a little bit moreabout how you did that, because
(23:59):
you said, you know, we kind ofleft off of your story that you
were in college and you werehanging out with the dieticians
and food got a little confusingto you.
Yeah, that's a good question.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
I like to tell my clients that food freedom is not
a perfect relationship withfood.
It's a relationship with foodwhere you realign quicker.
So if you have a goodrelationship with food, that
doesn't mean that you'll neverovereat or you'll never have an
emotional eating episode.
I think that's really importantbecause sometimes we're um as
(24:34):
coaches.
You know people put us on apedestal, like you never have
issues, and the truth is is um,a good relationship with food is
one that you're always workingon, and so I have ebbed and
flowed in my relationship withfood from there, and you know it
was.
It was a little bit ofexperience with my clients where
I would be like, okay, let'stry this or let's let's work on
(24:55):
this, um, and it would kind ofteach me some things.
But I think the the biggestthing that has helped me and
helps me keep coming back rightwhen maybe I do have an
emotional day and I'm like, oh,yeah, I really I let this get
the best of me or something.
It comes back to yourrelationship with your body, and
(25:19):
that's where it came for me wasthat I had to come to a place
of peace with my body, becausefor so many years the story was
that my body wasn't good enough.
It was.
I always needed to escape it.
And that's how we enter thediet cycle, by the way, is
anytime that you enter the dietcycle, think about this has been
(25:40):
because you've wanted to escapeyour body, you've wanted to get
out of the size that you're inor the look that you have, and
then you do something drastic,and that's usually what starts
the diet cycle.
And so really, what I had to dois come to peace with my body,
that it's good and it's going togo through seasons and it's
worthy of being nurtured andnourished to change rather than
(26:04):
punished and shamed to change.
And so once I started makingthat shift and I think it you
know it was me kind of teachingmy clients that to then sort of
digest it myself a little bitbetter you know that I realized,
oh okay, my body's good.
And instead of restricting allthese things and looking, like
(26:26):
you mentioned earlier, as blackand white all or nothing, it's
the pendulum or a swing.
For example, if you pull a swingreally really really far back
one direction, it's going toswing really really far in the
other direction, and dietsusually pull that swing really
far in the restriction side.
And so when we lose control,when something happens, sabotage
(26:47):
, we swing really hard the otherdirection and we lose control
with food and a goodrelationship with food exists
somewhere in the middle.
Right, we need freedom, but wealso need some boundaries.
And when you have a betterrelationship with your body that
says you know, I'm worthy ofenjoyment with food, my body's
(27:10):
worthy of nourishment andnurturing, then we can also
discuss the, you know, likechanging your body from a place
of nurturing.
Right, maybe weight loss is thegoal, that's okay, but it came
from a different place and sothat's what helped me then, like
get to my weight that felt thebest and get my body to the
(27:31):
place that felt the best, and myhabits were all about
supporting my body rather thanlooking a certain way or losing
a certain amount of weight.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Yeah, totally agreed.
Well, I also think that for alot of women to get out of that
mindset of I'm not good enoughor my body's not worth, it is a
very hard ask, I mean, withsociety and all our messaging
around what a woman should looklike.
It's sometimes impossible andtakes a lot of like
(28:08):
reprogramming.
I mean.
I know for me it definitely did.
I had to like, I mean I was outof getting my master's, my body
as it was, that I ended up.
(28:34):
I had some whatever do I want tocall it baby weight.
You know I was then like alittle a couple of years past my
babies and you know I couldn'treally call it baby weight
anymore.
But I'll call it baby weightand you know, but I could not
have lost that weight and keptit off if I was still in that
mindset of like I need to dothis because of what society
(28:59):
thinks I should look like, orI'm going to punish myself into
like you know, submission.
I had to like really do a lotof work with myself on, on just
making peace with food andmaking peace with my body, you
know, and really cheering myselfon.
So I think there's a hugedifference, you know, in.
(29:21):
You know you said like, like.
There's nothing wrong with thegoal of losing weight, but
losing weight from a dietperspective and losing weight
from you know this other, moregentle, compassionate
perspective is huge.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Yeah, and it kind of goes.
It kind of goes back to youknow, we talked about like diets
don't work and, um, I was justthinking when I so I'm a year
postpartum, a year and a fewmonths, and this is my third
baby and three for three.
I'm three for three right now,where I actually don't gain a
(29:58):
lot of weight during pregnancyand I usually am fine postpartum
, but as soon as I stoppednursing, my weight just
increases.
Um, and it's something that Ihave to kind of process and work
on, because sometimes there'sthat expectation like, well,
gosh, I am a year out and I'm abeliever that postpartum is like
(30:22):
five years, but, um, but it'sinteresting because when you say
like diets, like I alwaysattach it with a time frame and
so diets are like time bound andsomething, for example, like
get my body back, could beconsidered a diet, because we're
like, oh, I got to get it backwithin a year or within six
(30:44):
months or whatever, but thetruth is my body just takes some
adjusting.
Six months or whatever, um, butthe truth is my body just takes
some adjusting and I've had tolearn that because I'll like
stop nursing and then my hungercues are still there and it
takes me about a year for mybody to like re-register that
I'm not hungry all the timebecause I'm not like burning all
the calories and I thinksometimes we fight so hard
(31:04):
against that because we don'thave a good relationship with
our body.
But when we understand, hey,sometimes our body goes through
seasons of adjustment right,we've talked about menopause.
There's some adjustment seasonsthat have to happen and weight
will fluctuate, body fatpatterning will fluctuate, right
, with menopause and and all thetransitions in a woman's life,
(31:29):
things will fluctuate.
And if we have that solidfoundation of my body is good
and it's worthy of still beingnurtured and nourished.
It's going to be worthy thenand now yeah, great, I mean that
that's.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
That's a really good example and story.
I mean about your postpartumweight and where you're at and
everything.
Because I know for me when Ihad my kids it was nine months
up, nine months down.
That was the rule.
And if you hit the nine monthsdown and you still weren't down,
(32:06):
something was wrong.
You know, like something.
And even I mean, and then youknow you always had those
friends who like literallywalked out of the hospital
looking like they never had ababy and that was huge pressure
too.
And it's such a good point thatwe all I mean we all react
differently.
It does take time, but I thinkif you're in that like that
(32:29):
postpartum phase and like youknow you and you're beating
yourself up about it and doingsomething drastic and radical,
that's not going to work.
It's it's that's never going towork and it make you feel good.
I mean you really have to justembrace the, the season of life.
You're in, the compassionaround it, what you just went
(32:51):
through as a you know, birthinga child and then breastfeeding,
and I mean the whole thing, thewhole experience, it's huge yeah
so, yeah, it's, that's, that'sa really good, a good point.
So what would you say to womenwho are like struggling with
(33:12):
some just consistency?
You know, staying consistent,because I know, for me, for
example, I, you know, when Isaid I lost this weight, you
know that I ended up thenkeeping off for a very long time
.
But it's the consistent, it'sthe.
You know, it's easy to lose theweight.
(33:32):
Sometimes it's much easier tolike right, we can focus, we can
lose the weight, and then wehave to.
Then there's the after part wehave to maintain it, and the
maintaining is a whole differentballgame.
And because you have to stayconsistent with what you're
doing and then throw in, youknow, just getting older and
(33:55):
like aging and our metabolism,but besides that, let's just
talk about you know the stayingconsistent, what are?
You know?
What would you say to someonewho is trying to just maintain
what they've got, they'veaccomplished?
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Yeah, first of all, be proud of the efforts that
you've put in.
I think sometimes I don't knowwhat it is.
As women, we just don'tcelebrate ourselves enough.
We are always looking at thegap rather than what we've
gained and what we've developedand what we've learned.
So I think that's the firstpiece is like maybe you have
overcome something that's hard,maybe you've worked through a
(34:36):
big diet, history, or maybe youhave birthed babies or worked
through an illness or something,and I think it's really
important first of all tocelebrate that your body got you
through that.
And there can be feelings andemotions, right, that maybe that
was hard or maybe you're stillstruggling with some things, but
you're getting through it andyou're there.
(34:57):
But I have a unique definitionof sabotage and it is the
expectation of perfection.
We will sabotage every time.
We expect things to be perfect,and so what happens is we
follow the diet which isessentially supposed to be that
(35:18):
textbook perfect plan like wetalked about, and then we don't
know how to keep up a perfectplan in an imperfect life and so
we sabotage because we expectit to keep going that same way.
And it really goes back toidentity.
And I always tell women, sincemy platform is a woman of
(35:40):
wellness.
I always ask them to identifywhat a woman of wellness is to
them.
Who is that in them?
What does she do?
What does she like?
What does she like to do?
How is she healthy?
Because that's a differentdefinition for you than it is
for me and her, and so we reallyhave to define, okay, what is a
(36:01):
woman of wellness first of all,and what does that look like
for me?
Does that look like I'm running10 miles a day?
Or does that look like I have aregular movement routine and I
look for ways to move my bodyand I, you know, do strength
training a couple of times perweek, or am I a CrossFitter or
am I a swimmer?
Um, what is that identity ofthat woman of wellness I want to
(36:23):
become, and then recognize thatwe're not setting up
expectations of perfection,because that's going to lead us
to sabotage every single time,but rather can I find some
consistency with things thatsupport that vision, and then it
makes those things a little biteasier to keep doing because
(36:44):
we're not looking at it as blackor white.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Right, great point, all right.
Final question for you.
I cause I'm a little this is myown personal like vendetta with
social media and the internet,and I mean you know you click on
just one.
I mean you are much youngerthan me but welcome to your 50s
(37:09):
and, like you know, see what theanti-aging movement is and you
know, and how you're almostsupposed to be aging in reverse,
you know.
So I find social media to beabsolutely overwhelming with
information and a lot ofterrible, terrible information,
(37:31):
a lot of terrible, terribleinformation.
So how do you approach women orhelp them, who just feel
overwhelmed by all the healthadvice out there?
What would you tell someonewho's like I saw something, you
know this, these supplements Ishould be taking, or this diet I
should be doing, or theseexercises I should be engaging
in?
What do you tell women?
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Three words curate your noise.
There is so much noise outthere and this is an opportunity
.
We can't always control what'scoming in, but we can control
what we're going and looking forand and that we're actually
engaging on the platform.
That doesn't mean we don't haveto, we can't be on it, but we
do need to be.
We need to be ruthless incurating what we um, what we
(38:13):
want, and I and I always tellwomen, um, if, if an account or
or a message makes you feel lessthan in your body, pass because
it's not supporting the, thecore and the, the root of.
I have a good relationship withmy body and it's worthy of
being nurtured and nourished.
(38:33):
So if you feel less than in anyway, it's not a supportive
measure.
And there's some really goodmeaning accounts out there, you
know, and that's okay too,that's okay too.
(38:53):
But if it specifically for youdoes not nurture or nourish your
mindset and your body, toss itHard pass.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Yeah, I agree with you.
It's hard, though, to not getcaught up in some of the I mean
yeah, internet is crazy.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
It kind of makes me think about gosh.
There's like dating apps Idon't know because I haven't
been on them, but where youswipe right and swipe left for
yes or no Part of me is likegosh.
Wouldn't it be cool if socialmedia did that, where you swiped
right, You're like no, I don'twant to see that.
No, I don't want to see that.
Versus oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah, I know.
No, it makes it almostimpossible to just even swipe
quickly through that.
You get caught up in like that.
Yes, it's like sitting in themiddle of Times Square, you know
, with all the lights and thesigns and the.
I mean it's just you get, yeah,good suggestions and I like
that.
You said curate your noise.
(39:43):
That's a good way to end things, elizabeth, thank you so much.
I really appreciate you sharingyour story today and talking
about making peace with food andthe consistency that we need to
have and the mindfulness thatwe can cultivate to have some
more compassion and to make, Ithink, longer lasting changes
(40:08):
with our bodies as women.
So, thank you very much, Ireally appreciate it.
Thank you for having me.
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