135. Rooted and Rested: Your Guide to a Saner Holiday Season

The holidays can feel like a full-contact sport: less daylight, more demands, and an endless push to perform joy on cue. We’re flipping that script. Heather shares a clear, compassionate plan to move through the season rooted and rested—anchored in what matters, nourished by simple food, and protected by boundaries that keep your peace intact.

We start with energy: why the time change hits hard, how a full-spectrum “happy light” can help mood and sleep, and the mindset shift that turns rest from a reward into a prerequisite. From there, we get practical about family dynamics. Think of it like your emotional grocery list—what you’ll give, what you won’t, and where you’ll refill when conversations go sideways. You’ll hear scripts to defuse food policing and politics, plus ways to step out of old roles without igniting new drama.

Food gets simple and sane. Eat breakfast for steady blood sugar, build a plate with color and protein, hydrate to protect energy, and let go of guilt so one meal doesn’t erase a month of care. We talk about realistic holiday nutrition, not diet rules—just small moves that keep you out of the crash-and-crave cycle. And because comfort starts in the kitchen, Heather invites you to a free live cooking class: a restorative, beginner-friendly soup that proves dinner can be calm, cozy, and fast.

Want support that isn’t noisy or salesy? Join the Midlife Lounge, our free community for women navigating midlife hormones, identity, burnout, and boundaries. November’s theme is rooted and rested, with live chats, recipes, and that free soup class to set an easier tone for the season. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a calmer plan, and leave a review to tell us: what will you let go of to protect your peace this year?

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW

My Favorite Happy Light HERE

Join The Well Nourished Woman Community HERE and get access to the FREE cooking class this Sunday! It takes a minute to sign up. 

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:40):
Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Real
Food Stories Podcast.
And if you are new here, I amHeather Carey, nutritionist chef
and the no-nonsense midlifefriend who's going to tell you
the science-backed truth bombsabout food, hormones, and why
we're all so tired already.
And it's only November.

(01:03):
I swear we turn those clocksback once a year by one measly
little hour, and you think thatI had traveled halfway around
the world.
I feel jet lagged right now andso low on energy.
And it certainly doesn't helpthat there's less light in the
sky right now.
I've officially broken out myhappy light.

(01:23):
And if you feel like you getaffected by the change in light,
also called seasonal affectivedisorder, I want you to run, not
walk, to go by a happy light.
Basically, it's a full spectrumlamp that you sit in front of
for 30 minutes a day.
It's really no skin off yourback.
You just sit there while you'reeating breakfast or reading the

(01:47):
paper in the morning.
And I use it from October allthe way until April when the sun
is at its lowest in the sky.
And I know that it helps me.
And again, it's totallynon-invasive and can't hurt.
So if you feel like you getaffected by that change in
seasons in the sunlight,definitely go and buy one.

(02:09):
I'm going to put a link in myshow notes if you want to find
out more.
I don't get any commission forthis.
I just really want you to haveone of these and to find out
what it is and the benefits ofhaving a full spectrum lamp.
But mine's called a happy light,and I think that it helps for
sure.
But turning those clocks back,boy, that really affects me.

(02:33):
So anyway, this could be a realgame changer for you and your
energy and your mood and yoursleep if you're starting to feel
like it's November and you'reexhausted.
So, all right, for today'sepisode, we're going to talk
about how not to lose your mindthis holiday season and how to
actually feel rooted and restedinstead of frazzled and fried.

(02:59):
Now, during this time of year, Iwant to do anything and
everything I can to supportmyself physically and
emotionally.
And we'll jump into some of theways, besides my happy light,
that I use to preserve my sanitythis season because it can be
really stressful and you know,just a kind of a nutty time of

(03:22):
year.
And by the way, I've also gotsomething really fun coming up
this weekend, an event, acooking class that I'm going to
be teaching, and that ties rightinto this whole theme of rested
and rooted.
So stick with me until the endof the podcast and I'll tell you
all about it.

(03:43):
Okay, let me just say this outloud because I'm not going to
pretend anymore.
I'm really not a holiday person.
Okay, there, I said it.
Between the time change, thesugar, the chaos, the family
drama, and the pressure to bejoyful on cue, by the time
Thanksgiving rolls around, I'malready fantasizing about

(04:06):
hibernation.
And if you're nodding along withme right now, welcome to my club
because you're not the only onewho's tired before the turkey's
even in the oven.
Now, listen, I stopped drinkinga long time ago, and I will
admit that this used to carry methrough the holidays just fine

(04:26):
until, of course, it was Januaryand the party was over.
And now I don't even lean onanything like that to soften the
blow.
Believe me, this is a good thingbecause honestly, I would rather
feel all of it than numb out,only to be in a boatload of
regret when it was all over.

(04:48):
I really would.
So as much as I might complainabout the holidays, I'm showing
up for all of the good and thebad and the hard and the
stressful.
And if you're used to numbingout during the holiday seasons
too, this might be your sign tobe present right now.
Because the deal is, we've allbeen taught that the holidays

(05:08):
mean doing more, being more,buying more, pleasing everybody
more, looking a certain part,having the best decorated house,
the best dressed family, thegreatest Christmas card, despite
our energy and despite ourfatigue.
But what if this year we justdidn't?

(05:34):
Now there's always something todo at my house, always a
project.
A closet that needs to getcleaned out, the spice drawer
needs to be organized,something.
And I happen to be married to aman that has the energy of about
10 men and is constantlyjuggling a fence rebuild or
painting a deck or something tokeep going, going, going.

(05:57):
So it gets a little infectiouswhen you are living with
somebody high energy.
I have joked with him that maybea handful of times in the 30
years we have been married, whenI walk into the house and see
him actually watching a footballgame or sports anything in front
of the fire during the day, myimmediate thought is, what are

(06:22):
you doing?
Half sarcastic, but still, like,what are you doing?
You're actually relaxing.
Why are you sitting down?
We have things to do.
So I admit that to all of youand to myself, that I am a doer
and a go, go, go person.
And I have to work on thismyself.

(06:44):
And the reality is that Ifantasize about doing just that
sometimes sitting under ablanket all day with a fire and
a book, not my computer, not myphone, an actual book.
And just sitting there, not eventhe pressure to go walk my dog,

(07:06):
just resting.
This might sound funny to you,but I know plenty of women this
age who can definitely relate.
If we're not, quote, busy,something is very wrong.
We wear busy like a badge ofhonor.
There's no rest for the weary,right?
We'll go until we collapse.

(07:28):
We'll do for other people untilwe are just absolutely spent.
I have done this a milliontimes, I'm admitting it, for a
million holiday seasons, and itnever does me any favors.
So why are we doing this?
There are so many reasons, andthat could be for another 20
podcasts, but really I thinkit's just a lot of cultural

(07:51):
indoctrination.
I just read in the paper theother day in the New York Times
that Martha Stewart's originalparty book called Entertaining
from the 80s is gettingreissued.
And if you have any memory ofthis book, it set the standard
on high-end entertaining.
Martha Stewart said in a recentinterview that she was the

(08:14):
original trad wife.
And if you don't know what tradmeans in today's speak, it's
short for traditional wife, thestay-at-home mom, raising a
gaggle of kids, making sourdoughbread, growing her own food,
raising a goat or two whilehaving an online empire.

(08:34):
But I'm not sure why this seemsso radical.
Haven't we all done this to someextent?
I mean, I've raised three kids,made homemade baby food when
they were little, grew and stillgrow my own vegetables, make my
own bread, threw togethermillions of holiday dinners, run
my business, and now yearslater, I'm tired.

(08:56):
I think I want someone else tomake the holiday dinners for me,
but do I, do I really want tolet go of that control?
Can I release that much control?
Anyway, I'm curious to know howit would feel to let go of the
control and scared all at thesame time of not being in charge
and in control.

(09:17):
And then I believe there'ssomewhere in between where we
don't have to actually becompletely checked out in order
to get rested and feel good thisseason, but to give up some of
the control and of being incharge.
What if we decided that beingrooted, like rooted into the
ground and rested, like reallygrounded and intentional, was

(09:41):
the new holiday flex?
I'm curious to know how thatwould feel for you.
Like a fail, like you aremissing out, not doing enough.
Maybe you actually love theholidays and get a deep surge of
energy during this time.
That's great.
Maybe that is your groundingright there and your intention.

(10:01):
So my question is, what wouldmake you feel rooted and
grounded this season?
Like you can look back inJanuary and say, that was a
really nice few months.
Maybe you need to write about itin your journal.
I know that I do because I gothrough this every single year.
I have this like feeling thislike knot in my stomach.

(10:22):
Maybe you need to talk about it.
And one way to do that is tojoin me in the well-nourished
community.
I know I've been talking aboutthis for the last couple of
weeks on this podcast, but Ireally want you to come in and
join the community so you canhave your voice.
Now, I'll be hosting a live chatjust about this very topic in

(10:43):
the community and thinking aboutwhat it would mean to feel
rested and rooted right now.
Now, this all leads down a roadto feeling content.
And I like that word.
I like the word content.
It feels peaceful and grounded.
Now, check out the show notesfor the details of any upcoming
events in the well-nourishedcommunity.

(11:05):
And it's free, okay?
It costs you nothing to join inthere.
Just you can come in, take apeek around.
I have the midlife lounge and Ihave the nourished kitchen,
which is a paid membership, butI do have the midlife lounge,
and you can come in and justtake a peek around.
So in the midlife community, Ilike to do monthly themes, and
my monthly theme for November isrooted and rested.

(11:30):
And I want to just decipher andtell you what that actually
means for me.
And here's how I see it.
To be rooted means to beanchored.
You know what matters, what'sworth your time, your energy,
your emotional investment, andwhat isn't.
It's that feeling when youfinally stop chasing every

(11:51):
should.
You're not trying to keep upwith people who don't live your
life and carry your load.
You're standing still longenough to say, wait, is that
actually good for me right now?
Does that actually feel good tome right now?
And to be rested, rested is notlazy.
And I know that I have someopinions about that, like the

(12:14):
example I gave with my husband,just watch watching a football
game for an hour on a Saturdayafternoon.
I have to work on that.
But rested is something I strivefor.
It means you feel regulated,that your nervous system is
exhaling.
It's your body saying, thank youfor feeding me something besides

(12:36):
caffeine and cortisol today.
We've been taught to believerest is a reward.
Like you have to earn it afteryou've done enough.
But what if rest is just part ofbeing a functioning human?
What if rest is the prerequisitefor being grounded, not the
prize for surviving anotherweek?

(12:57):
When I talk about being rootedand rested for women in midlife,
what I'm really talking about isknowing your limits and actually
respecting them, fueling yourbody instead of punishing it
with crash diets or guilt oranything radical that you feel
like you might have to startthinking about in January.

(13:18):
And letting people have theiropinions without letting them
hijack your piece.
Okay, staying in your lane andletting people do what they do.
This season isn't aboutshrinking to fit someone else's
version of who you used to be.
It's about creating rhythms thatmake you feel strong and steady.

(13:40):
Now, I don't want to drag oldpatterns into a new phase of
life.
I want to be the woman who says,you know what, my peace matters
more than perfection.
My energy is not up for grabs.
So as you're listening rightnow, maybe driving or you're
folding laundry or you'rewalking the dog, I want you to
think about what being rootedfor you could look like this

(14:04):
month.
What would feeling restedactually feel like in your
day-to-day life?
I'm right here with you, right?
I'm working this too.
So I'm I'm asking myself thesesame exact questions, but that's
the energy I want to bring intothis holiday season.
Grounded, nourished, no drama.
All right, so let's talk aboutsomething that I'm really

(14:27):
excited about.
I mentioned this at thebeginning of the podcast, and
that is my community, thewell-nourished woman, and within
the well-nourished woman is themidlife lounge.
Now, before you roll your eyes,because I know the internet is
full of join my group nonsense.
Let me tell you what it actuallyis.

(14:49):
Okay, it's not a Facebook group,it's not another spammy wellness
chat.
It's a space I built for realwomen, women who are in the
thick of midlife, figuring outtheir hormones, their moods,
their food, their identity, andhonestly, just trying to feel
like themselves again and havethat feeling of being grounded

(15:12):
and content.
Because listen, midlife is not acrisis.
All right.
For better or for worse, we arein this midlife time, and let's
not think that it is a big giantdrama show.
Okay.
It's a recalibration.
It's that moment when you lookaround and say, okay, I've done

(15:35):
everything for everyone else.
Now, what do I actually want?
And inside the lounge, in themidlife lounge, we talk about
that.
We talk about food, yes, ofcourse, because I'm a
nutritionist and a chef.
So you're always going to getreally nourishing, great recipes
and food ideas and all thenutrition things.

(15:57):
And we also talk about thedeeper stuff, boundaries,
burnout, body image, and thisweird mix of empowerment and
exhaustion that shows up whenyour hormones change and
everyone still expects you tohold the world together.
The lounge is totally free.
It's that simple.

(16:18):
You pop in and there's zeropressure.
You can post, you can answersome of my questions, you can
come in for a live chat, and oryou can just scroll around
quietly until you're ready tojoin the conversation.
No pressure.
Each month has a theme.
This month, like I mentioned, isrooted and rested.

(16:40):
And that means that everythingwe do in November is centered
around slowing down, grounding,and nourishing, not just with
food, but in how we move, how wethink, how we plan our days, and
even how we eat.
Now I use the word rooted alsoas sort of like a riff because

(17:01):
November is all about rootvegetables and in the nourished
kitchen, which is the paid partof this membership, we are going
to be having a big focus on rootvegetables and which are very
grounding in Chinese medicineand very just seasonal and and

(17:23):
calming.
Now, this weekend coming up,this Sunday, November 9th, I'm
doing something really fun tokick it all off.
I am hosting a free life cookingclass right inside the midlife
lounge.
Now, normally my cooking classesare in the nourish kitchen, the
paid membership.

(17:43):
But for this weekend to kickthings off, I am hosting a free
class for everybody.
So you can get a little taste ofthe nourish kitchen, and you can
just come and say hi and you cancome and cook along.
Now we're making one of myfavorite soups, something so
good, so nourishing and so easythat you're gonna wonder why you

(18:06):
have ever made dinnercomplicated, because this is
easy.
You know, cooking takes time,but it doesn't take that much
time.
And we're gonna talk all abouthow to save time in your kitchen
while making a delicious soup.
And by six o'clock, you willhave dinner ready while you're

(18:28):
sitting and watching a she ashow on Netflix.
So I would love for you to joinme.
Now, if you ever wanted to cookwith me live or just hang out
while I stir the pot and tellthe truth about midlife, this is
your chance.
So you can come and cook alongwith me, or you can just come
and watch and ask questions.

(18:49):
All you have to do is join theMidlife Lounge, which again is
totally free, and then RSVP tothe class.
That's how you'll get theingredient list and the recipes.
And I'm gonna give some extrabonus recipes in there too.
So if you've been listening tothis podcast and thinking, like
I could really use a place toland somewhere where women get

(19:12):
it and we don't have to pretendwe're fine all the time, the
lounge is the place.
We're not performing wellness,okay?
We're practicing it.
So come and hang out with methis weekend at four o'clock
Eastern time on Sunday, andlet's start this holiday season

(19:34):
from a place that's rooted,rested, and ready for real life.
All right, so let's get into it.
The part that makes everyonesquirm a little bit, but we're

gonna talk about it (19:44):
family boundaries and the holidays.
Now, every year I tell myself,this time I am not going to get
sucked in every year.
Literally.
I have a mental conversationwith myself and I say, How can I
do this different?
I'm not getting sucked into thedrama.

(20:04):
And every year, someoneinevitably brings up something
political or comments, uh,what's on my plate, or am I knee
deep in mashed potatoes andemotional whiplash?
And so this year I decided I'mdone reacting.
I'm planning for peace the sameway I plan the menu.

(20:26):
You make your grocery list,right?
You know what dish you'rebringing to the party.
So I want you to make anemotional grocery list too.
And I want you to ask yourselfthis year, if you're with me on
this, what am I willing to givethis year?
And what am I not willing togive?
And where am I going to refillmentally and emotionally when I

(20:51):
inevitably run out of patienceor run out of the tolerance for
the drama or any of it.
All right, shifting gears alittle bit, let's talk food.
Okay, because I'm a nutritionistand a chef and I've seen it all.
The I'll be good after theholidays crowd, the I'm gonna

(21:12):
eat all day long, and I'll thinkabout that tomorrow, or let me
skip breakfast so I can reallygorge later.
I I've heard it all, I've doneit all, I I know it, I know, and
I I have I get it.
So let's skip all that thisyear.
Let's try to skip all that, thatold kind of thinking, okay,

(21:35):
because we still have to benourishing ourselves.
Just because you're having aholiday dinner at six o'clock
doesn't mean that you're notallowed to eat breakfast.
You want to feel good afterThanksgiving, right?
Okay, so here's how we're gonnafeel good after the day after
Thanksgiving.
First, on Thursday, the day ofThanksgiving, I want you to eat

(21:56):
breakfast.
Okay.
Please, for the love of stableblood sugar, eat breakfast,
please.
It doesn't have to be thebiggest meal of the day,
obviously.
That's gonna be dinner.
But just eat something like anegg with toast and some
vegetables or some oatmeal toeat a little something.

(22:16):
Okay, something with protein,something with some color.
Don't save up your calories.
That's not balance, that'spunishment disguised as
discipline.
Okay, and it and it's gonna setyou up later for overeating more
than you had even thoughtbecause you're gonna be
starving.
Okay.
Second, I want you to color.

(22:39):
Second, I want color and proteinon your plate.
Now the turkey's not theproblem, right?
That's not the problem forThanksgiving, nor are the
Brussels sprouts, right?
Or the sweet potatoes.
It's the beige things, thestuffing.
I mean, these are not bad.
I I don't even want to say thatthese are like the bab things,

(23:01):
but these are the things thatyou want to be mindful of.
The stuffing, the mashedpotatoes, those all those other
white foods, the bread.
So at dinner, add some greens.
Bring some roasted vegetableswith you, or whatever counts as
a plant in your world.
Add in fiber and protein to keepyour energy steady and your mood

(23:25):
sane.
Okay?
Fill your plate once, bemindful.
Stop when you're full.
And the third, I want you tomake sure that you're hydrating.
I know this is a big drinkingholiday for some people.
I know, I get it.
It's like the one day of theyear you have permission to
start drinking at like nine inthe morning all day long until
nighttime.

(23:45):
Make sure you're having somewater, make sure you're having
some herbal tea, a club soda.
Just make sure that you arehydrating through the day.
Dehydration's sneaky.
It can make you feel tired andit can make you feel cranky and
more likely to reach for sugar.
You might actually be reallydehydrated rather than hungry.

(24:06):
So just keep mindful of yourhydration.
And fourth, and the mostimportant, I want you to ditch
the guilt over this holidaydinner.
Guilt doesn't burn calories.
Okay, it just drains you.
It drains your joy about justenjoying the meal.
You're allowed to eat pie andstill love your body.

(24:27):
You're allowed to rest and not,quote, earn it by
over-exercising the next day.
The goal here is notrestriction.
It's just recovery.
Do your best.
Okay, we've talked enough aboutthe ways to eat and to be
mindful on your plate and to bemindful about maybe not

(24:48):
overeating.
It's just a meal.
Okay, it's just one meal of themany, many thousands of meals
you will be eating in yourlifetime.
It's about waking up the nextmorning and thinking, okay, I
enjoyed myself.
I feel grounded, and I'm not ina food coma.
Maybe I ate a little more than Iwanted to.

(25:09):
And today is a new day.
Now that's what I teach in thenourish kitchen, my paid
membership.
Food that works with you and notagainst you.
Real food, real life, nospreadsheets, no diets, no
shame.
Okay, I think that's it for now.
We'll talk more aboutThanksgiving as it comes closer.

(25:30):
And speaking of food that workswith you, like I said before,
this Sunday, November 9th at 4p.m.
Eastern, I am teaching a freelive cooking class that ties
this all together.
It's part of my rooted andrusted theme inside of the
midlife lounge and the nourishkitchen in my community.

(25:52):
Now we're making one of myfavorite cold weather soups.
I'm not even going to tell youwhat it is yet.
You'll have to go and join thecommunity to find out what we're
going to be cooking, but it'ssomething very warm and earthy
and ridiculously easy.
And you will have extra, youwill be able to put it in the
freezer, and you will thank melater.

(26:13):
So I'll show you how to buildflavor without stress, and I'll
tell you why soup is basicallytherapy in a pot and how to make
a basic pot of soup tasteabsolutely outstanding.
There's secrets to making soup.
So you can cook along with me,or you can just watch and hang
out.
Your choice, it doesn't matter.

(26:34):
I don't care.
I will be on Zoom cooking, andyou can just come and say hi and
chat.
I'll walk you through therecipe.
I will be answering questions.
And because I can't help myself,I'll probably be talking also
about hormones, about boundariesand midlife sanity while I stir
and chop and cook.

(26:56):
So if you RSVP in the midlifelounge, you will get the
ingredient list in advance, thefull recipe packet, and a few
bonus recipes that I'm going tothrow in because we all need
backups when life gets loud.
And this is a really good timeof year to just right practice
that getting rooted.

(27:16):
And soup is one of the bestthings that you can be eating
right now to help you feelbalanced and energized and calm.
So if you've been listening andthinking, I want this season to
feel different, I want it tofeel calmer and easier and
healthier, then come join usthis Sunday and just sit in at
the very least and say hello.

(27:36):
You'll see that cooking does nothave to be complicated, and
neither does self-care.
So to get in again, go to theMidlife Lounge.
All of these links will be in myshow notes.
Hit join.
It's so simple.
And then go and RSVP for theclass.
It's free, it's fun, and you'llend the hour with dinner and new

(27:57):
perspective on cooking.
All right, so here's yourhomework this week.
I want you to pick one thingthat makes the holidays heavy,
and I want you to let it go.
Decide that this year you'reshowing up rooted and rested,
not resentful and running onfumes.

(28:18):
You don't need to prove anythingto anyone.
You just need to feel good inyour own body and your own
boundaries.
So I will hopefully see you onSunday at 4 o'clock Eastern in
the Midlife Lounge for our livesoup class.
And until then, eat well, restoften, and remember, doing less

(28:41):
is the healthiest move you canmake right now.
All right, that's it for today'sepisode of the Real Food Stories
podcast.
If you are ready to stop runningon caffeine and chaos, come find
me in the Midlife Lounge.
It's free, it's fun.
And yes, we talk abouteverything from soup to stress

(29:02):
to setting boundaries with thatone family member who's always
having something, a little morethan extra to stay.
Don't forget to RSVP for ourrooted and rusted cooking class
Sunday.
And I promise one hour, onesoup, one less thing to stress
about.
Take care, stay grounded, andkeep your spoon handy.

(29:23):
We're just getting started.
Have a great day.