67. The Milford Method: How To Create Meaningful Connections Where You Live with Matt and Katie Milford

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to another episode of the Real Life
Investing Podcast with Jasonand Rachel Wagner.
We have some awesome guestswith us today.
These are actually probably thefirst people we ever met in our
own nights who've turned intosome of our best friends out
here, which is amazing.
And a fun fact is that our kidsare best friends too, and
that's a really sweet bond.
And so, anyways, we wanted tobring Matt and Katie Milford on

(00:21):
the show here, because you, youknow, when you go to like a new
place, you kind of want to meetlike the most popular people in
town.
This is Matt.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
This is Matt and Katie Milford.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
They are just I always refer to you guys as like
the connectors of the community.
You just kind of know, you haveyour ears low to the ground,
you know what's going on, youknow the neighbors and you guys
are the organizers of all theselike different events and I
think this is like a really coolthing I wanted to bring you
guys on and just kind of talkabout.
Like you didn't always livehere, right?

(00:53):
How is it for somebody thatmight be listening to this show,
how is it that somebody canmaybe go into a new community
and find a way to say, hey, Ireally want to plant some roots
here, like I really want to getto know everybody and get myself
involved.
And kind of like if you guyscould walk us through your
process of like when you firstcame to Arlington Heights and

(01:15):
like what you did from there tokind of ingrain yourselves and
kind of be in this little, youknow mastermind community that
you kind of have, it's supercool.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, yeah, I'd love to.
Well, first of all, thanks forthe invite to be on this podcast
.
It's awesome.
I don't know if we're the mostlike you said, but we do try
hard to be integrated into ourlittle community.
But before we start, are thereany kind of things that are off
the table?
Should I monitor my language?
No, Should I apply a filter?

Speaker 4 (01:46):
No, off the table.
Should I monitor my language?
Should I apply a filter?

Speaker 3 (01:47):
No, nothing's off the table.
If we need to, we'll mark theseslips in the box.
There's no parental advisory.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
I have pretty loose lips, okay, yeah, so I can walk
you some history.
So about I don't know, 18years-ish ago we moved to
Chicago and we bounced aroundquite a bit.
Before we landed in ArlingtonHeights, we made a list of what
we wanted, what we think wedidn't want, and every year we'd
move to a new location.
So Naperville, des Plaines,schaumburg, palatine, yeah.

(02:15):
And you know it's that pursuitof happiness that we were
searching for, and we found itin Arlington Heights, and I'll
tell you how.
So when we came to ArlingtonHeights and I'll tell you how.
So when we came to ArlingtonHeights, we saw obviously a lot
of young people, you know,people pushing strollers,
bicycles, things like that.

(02:35):
But what we really found thatworked is getting a location
close enough that it costsadditional, so it weeds out
folks who aren't like-minded.
So by living so close to adowntown center, you're paying a
premium.
That premium is often, you know, I would say, reasonable to pay
for if that's the lifestyle youwant.
And so when we moved at ourlittle location at the time, I

(02:57):
think it was a thousand squarefeet.
It was perfection.
Yeah, katie was like oh, youknow, I found this house number
50.
And she's like yeah, I foundthis house.
But before you say no, beforeyou say no, I know it's one
bedroom and I'm like what thefuck Like, how am I going to?
What do you do with a onebedroom house?

Speaker 4 (03:13):
Well, first of all, he had like a checklist of
criteria.
It was insane.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
I had a checklist, but in one bedroom was being
generous.
It didn't have have a bedroom.
It was a loft, no doors, so thesecond floor was essentially
wide open with a bathroom, andthe first floor was a kitchen
and a living room and I wasready to have a baby.
And she was ready to have ababy.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
Oh, yeah, wow, and she's like I want to have a baby
.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
I'm like not, not before we have a house,
absolutely not.
I was like, no, cut her off, soso then.
So then we buy the house andwhat we found out was a lot of
the folks in the area are doingthe same thing.
They know they're going to pay20, 25% more, whatever the
percentage is, to live so closeto a downtown because they value
the need to walk around and beout.

(03:53):
And I say that because I thinkthere's a formula in terms of
how many times you interact withsomebody that you become
friends.
You need those interactions.
Maybe it's 10, maybe it's 20,maybe it's 30.
And what we found when we livedin Schaumburg, for example, we
were friends with the friends inour unit but really not with
the neighborhood, so we couldn'tconnect.

(04:15):
We lived in an apartmentbuilding.
Same concept the friends thatwe had we made by going to a
meeting place like the hot tubor the pool.
But when we moved to ArlingtonHeights, downtown, everyone's
outside.
You're crossing paths withthese folks you know a hundred

(04:35):
times in the summer, at theparks, at the downtown, walking
along the sidewalk, out, doingyard work, and so those
relationships start to build.
And then, because those folkstypically are like-minded in
that they're sociallyextroverted, they have a
deepening desire to connect.
You know, getting philosophicalhere, I think civilization, at
least in the US, has kind oflost its way.
You know we built theseneighborhoods where you're far

(04:58):
out, you're not close to anurban center, you have to get
into a car, and so we purposelysegregated ourselves into filing
cabinets and we were looking todo the exact opposite, and
that's how we did in ArlingtonHeights.
So we moved in, met all theneighbors.
Of course, you know we we dohost gatherings.
You know we feel like it'simportant to and we had kids.

(05:18):
Oh, and we had kids.
Yeah, kids is a huge thing too,right, you know?
I think think there was likefour or five things in life that
you need to be friends.
There's like four attributesyour age, your interests, your
life phase, location.
Yeah, there's four and you needtwo to become friends.
And so when you rapidlysurround yourselves with people

(05:39):
who are in the same location,roughly the same age, popping
out kids the same time you are,and, yeah, life phase and
interest, then you justnaturally create friendships.
But we've been very sociallyextroverted.
We love that, we love thecommunity, we love the ability
to know a lot of people.
I think our focus this timethis year, rather, has shifted

(06:02):
to be a bit more prioritized onthe folks that we do like, like
those two cats sitting acrossthe table from us.
So, maybe kind of bring in thatnet a touch.

Speaker 4 (06:13):
But yeah, that's the long story but really hone in on
those who specifically feellike we have those common
interests as poor people, yeah,so deepening those relationships
.
And encouraging our girls to dothe same.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
Absolutely yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
Beautiful.
I mean, Matt, I didn't expectyou to go into the philosophy
here.
That was honestly incredible,but when you think about it,
Rachel, when you think about it,what he said was and which I've
never thought about, this isthat people that want to live
close to a downtown area arelikely more extroverted.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yeah, I picked up on that too, and I think that's
pretty accurate.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
That's a great comment.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
You've got to justify the premium cost.
That's what you're doing.
And what you get of being neardowntown is you are more active,
you're more outside andtypically you're more
extroverted.
So those folks are there.
So, you may, may get, you mayfind yourself, you may have all

(07:10):
the desire to make connectionswith folks, but they're walled
up, they purposely self-isolate,and that's perfectly fine.
You know, if you want thegigantic house out on two acres,
you probably aren't prone tomake friendships.
You know, as easily as someonewho says you know, I'll take my
little eighth acre, my littleguy, I can just mow my lawn with
the push mower and and I willmake for it because I I value

(07:31):
those those things that itprovides.
It's the proximity to folks,it's the downtown accessibility
and it's the parks and all thatit's the opportunity.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
It's like a true opportunity of like, yeah, we're
going to take this smallerproperty and there's an
opportunity that comes with thatmaybe is more intangible, which
is you get to know everybodyand people, and so let's talk
about the 4th of July parade andlike what happens at your yard.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah, it's funny, we moved in and we were before, I'm
sorry before we moved in wewere looking at the house and we
were walking the neighborhood.
And that's really when it sunkin to me that this neighborhood
is special, because theneighbors themselves that lived
there came out of their housesin a few instances and came up
to us and were like hey, are youguys looking at buying that

(08:17):
house?
And we're like yeah, they'relike well, get fucking ready,
because Frontier Days is insane.
It's insane.
Like well, what is FrontierDays?
Well, it's, you know, it'sseven well, five, technically
five days right of a festival inthe park that's a block away.
And what happens during thisfestival?
The whole neighborhood shutsdown.
People take off work, they setbars where their front porch is,

(08:41):
they roll out their littlerefrigerator, they set up tiki
bars.
It becomes this five-dayvacation for a lot of folks in
the neighborhood.
They purposely take off workand really enjoy it and embrace
it.

Speaker 4 (08:52):
And the introverts disappear.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
And the introverts, you know, hightail it to you
know, out of town Totally.
So it becomes like a reallyhotbed of connection with
neighbors.
It becomes this, you know,annual event that kind of shuts
down the neighborhood.
Everyone takes off, work anddrinks too much.
Anyways, long story short, theycame out and they're like get
ready for this.
And then they said also theparade.

(09:15):
That's what we found about theparade it runs right by our
house, it runs directly to theside of our house, it's two and
a half hours long.
And the first year or two wewere just enthralled with it.
We invite, like a couple familymembers, some neighbors, a
couple neighbors.
But then we, you know, as wecreate a lot of relationships
with some of the neighbors, werealized, you know, not all of

(09:37):
them obviously lived on thatroad.
So we was like, oh well, let'sjust come to our house, come to
our house.
So it's become this annualevent that I try to make bigger.
Every year my wife tries toshoot down some of my ideas.

Speaker 4 (09:45):
She's a little wild yeah, you know.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
I wouldn't mass produce one one year.
It's like 200 hot dogs isboiling them the morning of.
It's incredible.

Speaker 4 (09:54):
He's having his sister-in-law boil them.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, you gotta delegate.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
I love that you have the driveway fridge.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
It's not a cooler.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
It's the driveway fridge.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
We push out.
I think that was new last year.
I think we just rolled out afull size refrigerator right out
, right out in the driveway,along with tents and all that
fun stuff.

Speaker 3 (10:12):
So just to give people a sense you're talking
like.
I remember seeing this invitelist.
It was like over a hundredpeople.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
Right.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
We're on the invite list.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
It's almost as big as the Christmas party.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
That we host.
Yeah, it is.
It's almost as big as theChristmas party that we host.

Speaker 4 (10:24):
Yeah, we'll get to the Christmas party, yeah, it is
almost as big as that.
It's super fun though.
It's easy, it's fun, it'sentertainment, it's like the
best definition of hosting aparty.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
I love that you call it easy.
Hey, we're going to invite 100people over to our front yard.
And you call it easy?

Speaker 4 (10:39):
Well, because it's this beautiful thing where the
event is right there, so weliterally just give our space
and everyone has a blast.
It is it's, the easiestdefinition of a party for me.
Yeah, entertainment's included,you know, two hour parade comes
down our street Totally.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
But yeah, it's a wonderful thing and we just I
mean, it's going to be ourannual party as long as we're
there, right, I don't see anystopping to it.
Yeah, our annual party as longas we're there.

Speaker 3 (11:02):
Right.
I don't see any stopping to ityeah totally yeah, and that's
like a criteria for you too.
Like if you guys make anychange, you got to be on the
parade route.

Speaker 4 (11:09):
So it's crazy that you say that yes, because that
is literally what he will revertback to.
As you know, we will likeloftily look at different places
, and that is part of what onespecific house was so appealing
to me, because it was still onthe parade route.
Because this is, this is, thisis one of his I'm going to
loosely say demands.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah, oh it is.

Speaker 4 (11:28):
It is Well, we even, it even impacted our landscaping
plan, our fencing plan.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
Correct I got to have the yard.
You know, got it what littlesliver of yard we have.
We got to have it available forthis big annual bash.
Yeah, it's awesome.

Speaker 4 (11:42):
It's so fun, so fun.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
And so all right.
So then you do the Christmasparty and and walk us through
the Christmas party, because wehad the privilege of going this
last year, which was incredible,and like, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
And like it inspired Jason.
When we got back he was like weneed to do this, we need to
find a space that we could dothis for our neighborhood.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
Haven't you done previous block parties too?

Speaker 2 (12:06):
We hosted our block party last year, so we did three
parties last year Our blockparty, our Christmas party and
Fourth of July party.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
Ain't no party like a Milford party, that's for sure.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
You'll leave in worse shape than you came guaranteed,
Guaranteed.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
All right, so go through the Christmas party
thing and how you came up withthat or where that whole idea
came from yeah, so I can't takecredit for it.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
So when we moved in the first year, our neighbors
bought us tickets to it, so it'sbeen hosted, I would say, about
10 years prior to us gettingthere, probably Somewhere
thereabouts.
And what happened?
I think the nexus of it wassome of the moms, you know.
This would be almost what 15years ago now their children
were aging up, yeah, and so theywere ready to pass the.

(12:51):
They wanted to host a partyduring the winter, when you
traditionally don't gatheroutside of isolated play dates
to keep the neighborhood tight.
I think that was the realpremise for it.
And you know, luckily in ourneighborhood there's a couple
halls there's Legion, there's athat's a Columbus Hall, and so
when we moved in we got invitedto it and it was spectacular

(13:18):
Brought Ellie, who was almostone at the time somewhere
thereabouts and loved it.
It's, you know, 150 people DJ,everyone brings food.
It's like a big potluck.
You hire entertainment.
One year there was like ahorse-drawn carriage.
We've since added face painters.
There's a bar at the backthat's manned.
So there's two or three folksmanning the bar, which is great,
but about two, three years inthis is pre-COVID.

(13:41):
The word on the street was theywere going to cancel the party.
Ladies who are organizinghosting it, as katie said, the
kids were aging out and theywere just going to cancel the
and fold the party there is oneconsistent gal that is awesome
and lovely.

Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yep, yeah, janet, yeah yeah, absolutely yep,
there's one yep, and there's,there's.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
there's been a lot of helpers over the years, but
essentially it came down to thefact that no one wanted to host
it, so we stepped in and saidwe'll take it over.

Speaker 4 (14:07):
We being he.
Oh yeah, I want to be clear.
I think, I was pregnant at thetime and I said I am not
interested.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
She's like that's a bad idea, Because that's a lot.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
There's so much time?

Speaker 4 (14:16):
I don't know how you're going to do it.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
See, it's kind of.
It is on record now her mevoice.
You may hear it I sound like anidiot, I don't know how to
organize, I can't fold mylaundry, that's.
That's her, her impression ofme.
But we took it over.
I said that.
I said like hell, this is gonnastop on my watch.
And so we took it over.
We hosted a great party by twoyears.

(14:46):
Covid hit.
It was off for about two yearsand then we brought it back on.
It's been going strong sincehe's recruiting.
It's awesome, and it's actuallymorphed into more than just the
Christmas party because thesefriends and these neighbors that
have become friends loved it somuch.
The idea came out that, hey,you know, everyone should share

(15:07):
the responsibility of hosting anevent in the winter.
And the idea is, you know, wesee each other all the time at
the park.
We live a block away from apark.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
In the summer.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
In the summer you bump elbows with neighbors every
single day, but in the wintereveryone kind of hibernates, and
so now there's more partiescoming.
There's one of the neighborsthrough his first quote unquote
annual big deck energy party.
I like that.
He does have a very nice sizedeck, by the way, katie, better

(15:39):
not comment.
So it's a big deck energy partyis awesome as late fall.
And then another neighborthrough last year their first
annual chili cook-off,neighborhood chili cook-off.
We did it successfully hide thefact that we cooked wendy's
chili the first year.
Yep, it came out after the,after we got awarded the worst

(16:03):
chili of the neighborhood.
Which actually wasn't mineanyway, we got that trophy and I
will tell you we did win againthis year with worst chili again
this year, and it was my chili.
And we actually tried this year.
So screw that, we're nevertrying to win Well loosely tried
.

Speaker 4 (16:19):
We took leftovers from it.
We had dinner with our neighborthe night before and he had
made these beautiful meats andbriskets and corned beef I don't
know a lot of meat and mattsaid just toss that into the
chili.
Yeah, because we didn't havebeef, we didn't prep.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
Yeah, yeah, kick it up a notch it was not a success
it kicked it down in a lot ofnotches.

Speaker 4 (16:39):
Ellie said I like the beans before we left.
I like the bean part that wasfor commentary that we should
have known that.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
We should have known that that was it, so we took
home.
Now we have two toilet trophiesin our house.

Speaker 4 (16:49):
In our bathroom, naturally.

Speaker 2 (16:51):
Worst chili two years running.
We'll take it.
We'll take it, but it really isto the point of what you're
trying to drive to.
It's that connections Once youput that effort out there.
Sometimes it gets reciprocatedand that's kind of what's
happening, and so theneighborhood is ever evolving,
ever growing closer.
You know, it's awesome, it'samazing to see.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah, it's so fun, yeah, and you guys, I mean you
do a great job because I meanyou mentioned like with the kids
thing, and so you do a lot withthe schools and like whenever
you have playdates and stuff orbirthday parties, it's a lot of
kids from school, it's theneighbors.
You include everybody right ina lot of those situations.

Speaker 4 (17:33):
I think for the most part we try to let our kids lead
, meaning that our oldest, asyou know, is a little social
butterfly and so she willnaturally include everyone under
the sun.
Our middle is our littleloyalist and she would prefer to
have this year specifically,she requested one child only I'm

(17:54):
sure you can guess who andsomething more special.
So we really do genuinely tryto let them leave.
But then there are scenarioswhere, if we're hosting a family
party, like july 4th, everyoneof course is invited, and then
friends of friends are invited,right.
So I mean it, we always getadditional people every year.
Last year we had some, some,actually we invited some cla

(18:15):
friends that live in ourneighborhood, and then they,
they brought their neighbors,and so it's just fun to see the
continual growth, and now, youknow, it just emerges.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yeah, absolutely yeah , I mean, but what I?
Another interesting aspect isour kids go to private school
cla wonderful and we have theneighbor kids who don't go to
cla, and so I think a lot ofparents can appreciate the fact
that you've got these split insocial circles.
But because we're so close toall these neighborhood kids that

(18:45):
aren't in cla, the invite listhas grown and grown and grown,
which is wonderful, yeah.
So, yeah, we do try to, youknow, do something special for
them on their birthdays and wedefinitely yeah yeah we didn't
chat about the block party.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
We didn't chat about the block party I haven't been
to the block party yet usextroverts have uh, we've had
other plans on your block partydays, oh, I love that it's not
happening this year.
We're going to come.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Maybe, if we can so, I'll tell you a funny story
about the block party.
I'm not trying to demean themoms here.
You've got a bit to say.

Speaker 4 (19:19):
I don't know, I don't know where you're going with
that.
So the first year I was like,oh, we gotta throw a block party
because there's a neighbor likethree or four blocks north of
us.
I think you need to be verymindful of your terminology and
your wording here, but continue.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
Oh, yeah, yeah, this is being recorded this is.

Speaker 4 (19:33):
This is the issue.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
This is the loose lips.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
I think it's kind of a funny story it's kind of
inside of how guys operate, Ithink I think everyone could
appreciate the guys so anyways.
So was like, let's do a blockparty.
So I called the city yeah, youjust file a permit.
This is during COVID, and sothe festival was canceled.

Speaker 3 (19:49):
Oh, that's right, and so I was like we got to do
something for the kids.
That's what started it LikeFrontier Days.
Yeah, Frontier Days wascanceled.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
Frontier Days was canceled.
Then Frontier Days came back,which is a funny part of the
story, because then theycouldn't cancel our block party.
So they would normally neverapprove a block party that close
.
But because of COVID and it wascanceled, they approved it.
And then they brought thefestival back and so we had both
a festival and a block party.
So the story, the funny part ofthe story, is that, okay, I'll

(20:25):
try to just keep it, men.
Only it got to planning phase.
Okay, how are we going to dothis?
So I messaged a couple of thedads let's go to Eddie's.
Eddie's is a local bar.
Let's do it at Eddie's.
So we go to the bar.
I think we're probably like two, three beers in.
Okay, we, we booked the bouncehouse, that was it, we're done.

(20:51):
And then what happened was theword got out the buck, party
invite.
You know.
The date got set and everyonepitched in.
One neighbor brought a keg, webrought our kegerator.
Another neighbor, a lot ofneighbors, brought those big
tents.
One neighbor had a rolling bar,everyone brought their
inflatable.
You, know, what do you call them?
Like the inflatable sets outwith water sets, and so we had
this whole street blocked off.
And then, oh, the otherneighbor actually hired a band

(21:14):
to play at his back porch,cooked out a lot of meats Joe,
who was mentioned earlier, andso you know by rag-tagging this
thing together in the lastminute.
It was an unbelievable party.
Wow it went from noon till 1 am,Wow.
So people were out drinkingwhiskey, out smoking cigars One
I don't even see.

(21:34):
I think it was almost 2 in themorning.
It was an all-day event.
It was an all-day event, it wasspectacular, and so we brought
it back last year and it wasawesome.

Speaker 4 (21:41):
Every other year, right?

Speaker 2 (21:42):
Well, that was the neighbor who we emulated, who
was like four or five blocksnorth.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
So we're going to do it every year.
We're going to do it every year, every year.
So are you going to have thesame type of plan?
I?

Speaker 4 (21:51):
have a budget allocated for party planning,
because Milford loves a party.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
Oh, it's in the annual expenses.
Yeah, we have a budget.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
You better believe it .

Speaker 4 (21:59):
You Talk about a vacation if you really want to
know.

Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
I believe that yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
Yeah, but it's fantastic.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
Oh it is it's?

Speaker 2 (22:06):
perfection.
Well, what's interesting is youhave different types of parties
, right, that's what we're kindof realizing.
You have the Christmas partyfor the whole neighborhood.
So you know, and as we keephosting them, you know, first I
knew 10%, then 30%, now I'mprobably at like 60%, 70%, that
I know these folks, there's alot of people, it's a lot of.
You know a lot of houses, thisblock party.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
And our entire like yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:29):
Yeah, the and the Fourth of July party is our
friends that are local, ourfriends that aren't local.
It's a hodgepodge Right.
The block party is a specialparty because it's the direct
neighbors.

Speaker 4 (22:42):
Right.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
It is you know.
It's not, you know, generallyopen to you know.
I know Joe from school.
He lives his town over.
No, it is your direct neighbor.
So it's a time to shoot theshit with your direct neighbor.

Speaker 4 (22:53):
So it's a really special party, although with
your direct neighbor, so it's areally special party.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
Although you do always end up inviting one or
two extras.
I can't.
I think I still might come.
I'm still going to come.

Speaker 4 (22:59):
Yeah, absolutely you are an extra.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah, yeah, I think you're going to have some
peripherals.

Speaker 4 (23:03):
I know.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
Joe, the first year had peripherals, the same with
the Christmas parties.

Speaker 4 (23:07):
Technically rock, but he always invites extras.
So if you make that list, youit's a VIP list, but it's
amazing.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
It's a Milford.
It is amazing.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
So different parties, different functions, have
different purposes and it isjust a really special time.
You take a break right in themiddle of summer.
People come back from vacation.
They're talking about that.
What are the kids doing, whatcamps are in?
It's just a wonderful time toconnect with your neighbors and
drink too much.
It's awesome.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
That's all awesome stuff.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
So you guys are also really like familiar with all
the businesses I would saydowntown Arlington Heights, but
then also like some of thepolitics in Arlington Heights.
Like I feel like we havelearned so much from you guys
and just casual conversation.
Did that come from these socialsettings or was that something
else that you had to seek outintentionally?

Speaker 4 (23:56):
We're downtown a lot.
In the summer nearly every day.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah, we go downtown once a day during the summer I
mean I would say on average oncea day.
I mean there are days we godown multiple times a day.
We go to the farmer's marketevery week but to your point on
the businesses, it's 95% smallbusinesses yeah.
Yeah, arlington Heights has donea really good job of keeping
chains out, I think by design Idon't know regulatory things

(24:23):
they have in place, but they'vedone a really good job
inadvertently, if that's thecase, of keeping larger
businesses out.
So it's all small mom and pops.
So when you go in these localmom and pops you see you know
the turnover of the high schoolkids quite a bit, I mean all the
time.
But then you see the owners allthe time.
You know the owners, theowner's children just start

(24:44):
striking up conversations.
You know, I think our favoriteplace downtown relationship-wise
has got to be Barrio.
I mean Barrio special shout out, is kind of a warm place in our
heart heart and what started asa relationship of us just
visiting there.
You know, I remember duringcovid we cared for barrio so
much and the impact to smallbusiness that the excessive

(25:06):
regulatory rules that got put inplace that I would go there and
I'd push the scale down whenweighing my ice cream to try to
give them some more money.
And there's been this wonderfulback and forth relationship
with barrio and the owners andus.

Speaker 4 (25:19):
We go there.
We try to host a lot of events.
Yeah, they're very special tous.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah, they're very, very special to us and so we've
gotten to know them, and thefact that some of these local
business owners are conservativeleaning even further solidifies
our love for them.
You know the various ones indowntown, so we get to know the
politics, both micro and macro.
By talking to these folks, weget more involved in the micro
politics that are important tous.

Speaker 4 (25:42):
But also, I think too , I mean even just bringing
things connecting dots right.
For the Christmas party, wehave raffles every year, and
part of those raffles are we goout into the community and we
ask if they want to donateanything to this event, and so
our philosophy is this we go tothe places that we, that we
visit regularly and they theyoften, if not always, you know

(26:05):
give some type of raffle item.
So it's like this, likecontinual cycle, right Of us
continuing to want to go andsupport them because they are
supporting us in a different wayas well.
And so it's just, you justcontinue to build these reports
across across our LansingHeights period, and we don't
like to get in the car.
Have you met our children?

Speaker 2 (26:28):
So that probably that probably also helps.
Yeah, we don't like getting ina car.
It goes back to like losing ourway.

Speaker 4 (26:31):
I mean, I think that connection to your local
business, Although I would getinto a golf cart.
Matt.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
I know we Kate just pushed me to get into a golf
cart.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
Oh yeah, we were in Key West last summer.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah, we rented one.

Speaker 3 (26:40):
You guys would love 38.
It's all golf carts.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
And around tonight.
We should probably get itbefore.

Speaker 4 (26:45):
We talked to our buddy Dave, you could get a golf
cart, it's allowed.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
Is it really it's allowed?
Well, they'd have car seatsright on these nice golf carts,
and they'd just drop them off.

Speaker 4 (26:55):
Come on, no forget it , I know, I know, I know and
it's allowed.

Speaker 2 (26:59):
And if they ever were to put a rule in place later,
on, then we're going to missthat one.
I suspect you could potentiallybe grandfathered in.

Speaker 4 (27:05):
So there's a lot of reason to get it yeah this
summer.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yeah, so this summer let's go buy one.
It's a Garage space.
That's the tricky part.

Speaker 3 (27:14):
That is the hard part , that's the tricky part you
just got to add on to yourgarage.
That's okay, I know.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Well, yeah the rules.
It's like 750 square feet.
It's 14 and a half feet tall.
It's kind of tough.
Yeah, they make it kind oftough.
But yeah, a golf cart would beamazing.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
I'm all for it.
Let's love it.
I would love it.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
Big eye-boggling.
But yeah, a golf cart is theway I think about it.
It's you kind of have to waituntil there's like a critical
mass of people who are drivingthem to make them safer for the
neighborhood.
So I think we've seen like twoor three so far.
I think so, yeah, two or three.
So you think maybe, like byfive or 10, there'd be enough
awareness where you're driving avehicle with your infant

(27:55):
children that doesn't haveairbags.
That would aways weariness tomake it just a touch safer.
That's my only fear.

Speaker 4 (28:01):
Yeah, my rebuttal is that you're not going above 20
miles an hour downtown ArlingtonHeights anyway.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
Well, for record, this is also the gal that
doesn't want Allie driving thescooter.

Speaker 4 (28:14):
That's true.
He lets her drive her ownscooter on the road.
Yeah, yeah, teach her how todrive her on the road.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
But you see those electric, like what?

Speaker 4 (28:21):
do you call?
The stand-on ones well acrossbusy roads.
You, you already vetoed me andyou drive with her on the road
yeah, I lost that battle.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
Seven years old, riding a scooter that goes 15
miles an hour.

Speaker 4 (28:32):
Well, I was 12, but she doesn't cross busy roads.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
True, yeah, she doesn't.
But yeah, just the neighborhoodroads.
Yeah, just the neighborhoodroads.
So yeah, you guys.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
I mean you guys are off of busy streets, like you're
not far and you know, I thinkany a lot of parents.
They have anxiety.
I mean sometimes we haveanxiety about this street, which
is so funny, there's nobodythat drives here right, yeah,
like how do you, do you uh, howdo you uh cope with that?
I mean, um, or how could Imaybe look at it a little bit

(29:02):
differently when my kid goes andchases a ball that's in the
street?

Speaker 2 (29:08):
yeah, like how do you ?

Speaker 1 (29:09):
talk.
How do you go through that?

Speaker 2 (29:11):
so well, I like to start off with, to give you an
idea of how close we are.
Where our property line ends iswhere downtown starts.
Literally, there's not an alley, it's just literally our
property line is R6 or R5, andthen it goes to C1.
So we are right there, but whatwe've done.

Speaker 4 (29:29):
You're talking coding terms, coding.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yeah, just to give you an idea.
And then the road, arlingtonHeights Road, is just west of us
, so it's very, very busy.
So to Katie's point from theearliest possible age we've
taught our kids obviously lookboth ways.

Speaker 4 (29:44):
Don't go on the road, et cetera, et cetera.
We don't even let them in thewhat is that?
The part between the sidewalkand the road?

Speaker 1 (29:49):
Easement, easement we don't even let them in the
easement.

Speaker 4 (29:51):
We train them that they can't go in the easement
grass.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yeah, the easement grass yeah, but I would say
we're more strict than some ofthe neighbors we have.

Speaker 4 (30:00):
About that yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
Yeah, we are more on the strict end where we see some
of our neighbors.

Speaker 4 (30:04):
That's probably the only time they'll ever hear that
we're strict.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
Yeah, and some of our neighbors have like free range
children.
You know they just kind of outand about in, I'm sure it's fine
right, you have to be a littlecareful, you have to loosen a
little bit, you know, and we'retrying to, trying to cut that
umbilical cord just a little bit, but it's tough, I mean I can't
shake in her head it's.
It's really tough.
Yeah, you gotta trust your kidsa little bit well, we are

(30:27):
putting in a fence you are?
yeah, yeah, we're putting in.
We did these settle on a fencefor the summer.

Speaker 4 (30:31):
Yeah, yeah, so that we can give a little bit more
freedom.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
Yeah, freedom in defense.
You're free to do whatever youwant in this penitentiary
courtyard.
Okay.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
Katie, I want to talk to you because you are, like,
really good at playdates and Iactually want to like I feel
like you are, you are able toset up playdates with maybe
different families on the sameday.
Like I feel like that'ssomething you've done before,
right, and you're actuallyreally good at coordinating that
but well, before you get intoit, I would say why are you good
at?

Speaker 3 (31:09):
it.
Yeah, that's what I want.

Speaker 2 (31:09):
One of the big pros of katie.
I'm just gonna say one thing isit talks a lot.
Keep what?
No, I don't keeping connections.
All right, there you go.
That's.
That's where we fit in, like ajigsaw puzzle, yeah you talk a
lot yeah, I do, I do, I do haveme on here.

Speaker 4 (31:28):
Oh never, you have good info.
Yeah, I think.
Okay, so that I think thatstems.
Yes, I am a very big advocateof of play dates and, generally
speaking, play dates at the sametime.
Reason being so we have twochildren that are less than two
years apart and so I always wantto make sure that they well, we
have three children, but thetwo that are in play date mode,

(31:49):
and so if we have a play datewith one, we try to coordinate
to have to ensure that they bothhave a play date so they both
have a buddy, because otherwiseit's like a third wheel and
that's no fun for anyone.
So so that I feel like is a bitintentional.
And matt just saw the.
Matt sent a sweet text a coupleof weeks ago because I was very
adamant.
Ellie had been requested to go,one of her friends wanted to
meet her at a play place and oneof and so I was very adamant

(32:14):
about making sure that Lila hada buddy too.
You guys were on vacation, incase you're wondering, and so I
coordinated and Matt went andpicked up Lila's little buddy
and then met Ellie and herlittle buddy and he had texted
me.
When he got there he was likethis is amazing.
These kids are all playingtogether beautifully or playing
beautifully, but that's the goal, right?

(32:34):
I want all of my kids to havefun all the time.
So that's, I think, theconsensus of the dual play dates
, and it's just a lot of askingthe girls, you know, what do you
want to do this weekend?
Is there anyone specific thatyou want to spend time with?
We really do try to let themdrive to the best of our ability
, assuming it makes sense.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
And if they say no, we cancel it.

Speaker 4 (32:58):
Yeah, sometimes they say they want family weekends
right, and we then also supportthat.
Yeah, so we let them lead in alot of ways to make sure that
their house, our house, is theirsafe space and making sure that
they also feel comfortable withwho's coming in and out of our
house.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Sorry, go ahead, Rachel.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
I was going to say.
This kind of leads into a topicthat I really admire about you
guys and it's how aligned youare in your parenting and how
clear you are in how you'reraising your kids.
I think it became a littleaware to me that there were a
lot of discussions we hadn't hadyet when we started getting
into the play date mode andhanging out with you guys a
little bit more of like weparent kind of different, and so

(33:40):
we've been more intentional athaving those conversations.
But I'm curious like how andwhen and why that all started
for you guys, because I feellike there's so many aspects
that you're very aligned andvery clear in what your
boundaries are and like whatyou're valuing and how you're
instilling that in your kids.
I really admire it.
It's very like you always knowwhat the answer is.

Speaker 4 (34:01):
That's very sweet.
Well, I don't know if that'sactually true, but that's very
sweet, I think.
Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
I was just going to say earlier on.
We kind of aligned on the factthat we want a very
non-disciplinary, but promotethe positive, Positive
reinforcement, positivereinforcement, positive
reinforcement.

Speaker 4 (34:18):
We do a lot of positive reinforcement, positive
reinforcement.

Speaker 2 (34:20):
And that's been kind of our North Star, and so it's
our North Star.
So our children don't gettimeouts, in part because their
behavior is so good.
It doesn't warrant it, but nordo we believe in it.
We don't, you know any of thatkind of stuff.
It's been more of focus on thepositive, don't focus on the
negatives.

Speaker 4 (34:41):
And and we, we have the one and done rule.
So, like, if we say something,we, we have a couple of
different rules with our kids.
You know, if, if we ask them aquestion, then they get, then
they get.
I would say we're very looseparents, like we.
We have a lot of, we're verylofty in a lot of ways, but we
do have some some solid baselinerules and one of them is if we
ask you a question, if it's aquestion, then you get to

(35:03):
respond and we'll respect thator, you know, take that into
consideration.
But if we tell you, then theexpectation is that we tell you
once you do and done, and so Ithink that that's, you know,
that's one thing that we'repretty both pretty good about,
and so you know.
That goes back to the wholesafety right we have.
We live near a very busy roadand seven years later we're just
now putting up a fence rightWith with small children, and I

(35:27):
think that's part of it, and Ithink mainly because we're
outnumbered.
If we were not outnumbered Idon't think we would ever really
necessarily need a fence.
Well, security and safety too.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
I think that's kind of changing and we don't say no,
we don't say we don't use theword no correct.

Speaker 4 (35:42):
It's only for safety, unless it's safety right.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
Yeah.
So it's always ah, ah, ahversus no.
So it's never been a noenvironment, never been an
environment where the kids getin trouble and where'd that come
from?

Speaker 3 (35:54):
Was that like how you were raised?
Or did you read a book, or howdid you guys just like I don't
know.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
Oh gosh, I have a lot of quirks.
That's a great question.
I've got a weird answer to it.
Oh, I want to hear it.
I've got a really weird answerto it.
It's how I raised my first catand I have to explain to you.
I did more research on how toraise a kitten than I did on how

(36:22):
to raise a kid, because myphilosophy with children is that
they grow with you, grow withyou so you learn as you go.
Right On-the-job training.
I know how to raise aseven-year-old.
I have no idea how the hell toraise an eight-year-old, because
I don't have an eight-year-old.
I'll figure it out when she'seight.
But when I had my first kittenI read a lot and some of the
things it does blend intoraising children.

(36:47):
Right, if you play with akitten with your hand, they will
think your hand is a toy.
If you punish a kitten, theydon't understand it.
They don't understandpunishment, they don't
understand pain, they justunderstand that you're giving it
.
And children are kind of thesame way.
Where you mold them in a in a.
In a positive environmentthere'll be positive children

(37:09):
and if you strip out thenegative, they they just not in
their head.

Speaker 4 (37:13):
Matt's family is actually very incredible about,
like the positive reinforcementas a whole.
I think that so, so maybe partof this does bring from his
family is I remember when wefirst started dating, going out
to dinner with his family and atthe time they were, you know,
we were in our very youngtwenties, maybe not even and so

(37:34):
he had lots of little cousinsand they were all just like we
were out at this, I want to saycountry club, and all the little
kids are just running aroundthe table playing and I'm like,
wow, like this is amazing,they're playing, it's beautiful.
No one's you know commenting,no one's you know disciplining,
like it's just working.
And then you know you go intoany other restaurant and it's
constantly like parents harpingon children or grandparents or

(37:56):
you know, sit, still, do this,do this.
You know a lot of demands,right, and and so like that was
something that I think I reallydid absorb from his family as a
whole, even to this day.
I mean, they have reunions andThanksgiving and they're just
the energy that, like, hisentire family has when they're
together.
I can't like I can't describeit Like you have to see it Like

(38:20):
it's just very loving and kindand sweet and nurturing.
It's a really cool for me goinginto his family.
That was a really, a reallyneat experience that I had never
had before.

Speaker 2 (38:33):
Yeah, that's probably a better answer than the cat
one.
You're totally right.
Yeah, like I family has like,just let kids be kids.
You know, let kids be kids you.
You intervene if there's asafety issue.
Otherwise, you know, the kids,like you said, sitting at a
dinner table.
We never force our kids to sitdown at a dinner table.
I mean, we just recently saidokay, let's at least start

(38:55):
dinner together, you know down.
But if they get up and moseyaround, that's okay and it's
luckily we have an open floorplan yeah, you know, yeah, yeah.
The only time we were able tosuccessfully do it keep them at
that dinner table was when elliewas like under one year old and
sitting in the high chair at arestaurant where we'd order from
the the host immediatelybecause we knew we had 45
minutes of her be able able tosit down.

(39:15):
Outside of that it's been.
You know, hey, I understandit's tough for me to sit down
for two hours, let alone like afour-year-old.
So we just, yeah, just positive, and let kids be kids.

Speaker 1 (39:27):
I mean it's really respectable and it's awesome
insight.
And I guess, like when you getto a discipline moment where
like you know that maybe thereshould be like something here.
Like you kind of know thosemoments, yeah.
Or maybe you're just like you,as the parent, are actually
having like a bad day, right,and maybe the kid does something

(39:49):
that you're just like, oh man,like how do you, how do you
approach those situations?

Speaker 2 (39:57):
She's laughing because I don't do that and she
has to do it.

Speaker 4 (40:01):
Yeah, he is.
He is non-disciplinary at all.
But also ironically I don'tknow For me personally, I can
think maybe of not even ahandful of times I've ever felt
flustered towards my children.
So if I'm having a bad day,it's not my children that get
the brunt of it.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
It's this guy usually yeah, usually when a baby cries
, something happens, sheimmediately starts yelling at me
like I did it yelling.
You're so dramatic you know,it's like a, it's like an
intensity mirror.
It bounces from the kid to her,to me.
But I will give her credit.
You know, love you dearly.
But you do the discipline andwhat we, we, we convey a sense
of disappointment.

(40:36):
Yeah, you know, one of ourchildren act maliciously,
because it has happened, likeyou said, maybe a handful of
times.
Whenever they act out ofnon-kindness, we explain to them
how disappointed we are in them.
But I think maybe one has beensent to their room.
That's it Over the last sevenyears.
I mean, it's been very, veryfew and far between.

(40:58):
But yeah, we do.
They're not perfect.

Speaker 4 (41:02):
We tried.
Yeah, no, nothing's perfect.

Speaker 2 (41:05):
So, that's how we do it.
It's just conveying a sense ofdisappointment, shock and
disappointment, and usuallythat's enough to course correct.

Speaker 4 (41:13):
Sometimes silence in and of itself.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (41:24):
Because, I'm course, correct, sometimes silence in
and of itself, yeah, because I'mnot very silent often.
Sometimes silence, that that's,that's the trick.
Yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, yeah.
But we don't require that ourchildren apologize, or you know
like we want these, like to befeelings that they naturally
feel, not something that'sexpected and so it's.
We say you must acknowledge,right, but everyone's
acknowledgement looks a littlebit different.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we have lotsof quirks.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
I love it.
I love it Well.
I mean, nobody knows how toparent, right.
There's no handbook, right.
It's questioned every day.
And this is the brilliance ofwhat this conversation is is
that you bring us insight intohow you're parenting, right, and
we can absorb some of that, andalso we get to know you better,
right, and it's.
I think that's also anotherthing about some of these
conversations.

(42:04):
Getting to know your neighborsis also kind of learning how
they parent, because you knowhow they parent does kind of rub
off on how their kids are andthings like that.
And so it's just it's kind ofgood to kind of piece all this
stuff together and have theseconnections and have these these
conversations, yeah.

Speaker 4 (42:19):
And even to that point with play dates.
I am very upfront totraditionally say I can think of
maybe two families that we will, that our children will go to
their houses without us, if evenso, you guys can probably think
of one yourselves, but it I amvery specific.

(42:40):
I do have like I am particularand I do want to make sure that
my children are in the rightenvironments, and so I think
you're right.
Part of that is getting to knowyour friends and knowing what
you do and don't feelcomfortable with.
And and to that point a stepfurther, I have some of my very
best friends.
I love them dearly.
We have children the same ages.
That doesn't mean my child isgoing to their house to play,
right, and that's okay.

(43:00):
And so we do a lot of open doorpolicy at our house.
Summer, during the summerweekends, our house is just an
open door across the board.
We have neighbors comingthrough.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
We have friends coming through.

Speaker 4 (43:12):
I feel like it is on rotation, so I think that's
probably part of it, but stillmaking sure that we're being
respectful of our kids'boundaries, so like, yeah, I
everything is very kid driven inour house in terms of like just
making sure there'scomfortability.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Yeah, but I think going back just a step to to the
children and disciplining, Ithink the other core thing that
we do, I think we could allrecognize we're a different
generation of parents.
You know my dad, you know, anddad's his age, not very involved
with children.
Playtime that was not a thingyou know 50 years ago and I

(43:50):
think in part you know whatwe've done with our children.
Obviously try to swing thependulum the other way is
getting in their world andplaying with our children.
Yeah, you're really good atthat From an early age and so
you're seen as a parent but alsolike a co-play friend and I
think that's built trust in ourchildren and they look up to us

(44:10):
because of it.
I mean we almost to a faultactually, it's actually to a
fault have played with ourchildren so much that we've
created a dependence on it thatwe're trying to break a little
bit this year.
So this year we're trying to atleast myself I'm trying to pull
back just a touch.
But I think that is anotherthing that has really instilled

(44:31):
our children to be betterchildren or just better behaved,
more open to us, more honest.
But going back to the playdates, you know that's another
topic, because what'sinteresting about Katie versus,
I think, a lot of people is thatshe's very asymmetric in
relationships, so she'll gothrough periods where she's
giving more than getting and shedoesn't.

(44:54):
It doesn't matter to her.
I think a lot of folks, you,you of folks it's kind of a
mirror, right.
You get what you put in.
If you give and it doesn't comeback, it tapers off.
I think that's a traditionalrelationship demise.
But with Katie one of herstrengths is that she'll power
through, that.
She'll continue to askquestions If a person drops off

(45:14):
or they're not being responsiveor they're just not giving in
the relationship as much asKatie is.
She doesn't care, she caresabout the person and she'll push
through it without eventhinking about it.
So you know the play dates.
You scratch at that surface therelationships Katie's built has
facilitated that, facilitatedthat and all.

(45:38):
And the friends in ourneighborhood and the friends
like you guys, like it's 90katie and how she, how she
functions in, like a social,social aspect katie, are you in
sales?

Speaker 1 (45:46):
because I feel like that's a great sales uh skill
set just not afraid of rejectionand just keeps pushing for.

Speaker 4 (45:54):
That's funny, though, because I I will, because I
literally just said that tosomeone that I work with the
other day.
I said you know what?
I would push back, because I'min, obviously, procurement and I
do a lot of negotiating, and Isaid I would push back and when
they come back I'd push backagain.
You can take no twice, it'strue.
Like, keep asking, keep asking.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
That was very sweet yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:13):
Keep asking.
Yeah, that was very sweet.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
Yeah, you got the personality and the rock and bod
.
You'd smoke sales.

Speaker 4 (46:19):
Get out of here.
It's true, it's true, it'stotally true man.
You're so inappropriate.
That's why I love you guys.
You guys are awesome.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
I'm so inappropriate all the time yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:30):
So those kids keep coming out.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
That's good, so you have three kids.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
You have three kids now and you're hoping for for
four.
Is that kind of yeah?

Speaker 2 (46:42):
yeah, we're hoping for four.

Speaker 4 (46:44):
Yeah, yeah, but you know that that being has to cut
off from nursing, maybe whenshe's five.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
Yeah, that's a character in game of thrones,
but that is.

Speaker 4 (46:54):
But that is what I'm noticing like as a perceived
negative of not saying no, right, like we've, we me I've
naturally let each of ourchildren wean off of nursing and
bailey's in it to win it.
Man, yeah, she has zerointerest and no is not my

(47:16):
personality, and so that is.
We're at this tricky pointwhere it's like, okay, we're
ready to have number four, butbailey is a hardcore no, and no
one's telling bailey no.
Actually I walked in the houselast night from dinner and do
you know what I hear matt sayingto bailey all right, boss, baby
, let's go.

Speaker 3 (47:40):
Boss, baby.
Oh man, all the fun things, allthe fun things, so report back
in five years.

Speaker 2 (47:49):
What was it that the other day is funny.
Yeah, a third kid right.
Like you just do and I say thisin the nicest way possible you
do less and less and less prep,you know, pre-thought, for your
children.

Speaker 4 (48:02):
How's your nursery?

Speaker 3 (48:03):
coming along.
Oh, the furniture's all inthere actually Maybe it was the
same day?
I don't remember.
I think you guys were here onSunday.
I had Jason move it all.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
There's no design right.
We just put the furniture inthere.
There's no, the furniture's inthere.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
There's a couple of washed items.
It's not the oh, it's cute,it's just the things you need.

Speaker 3 (48:19):
The diapers and wipes .
It's fine.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
It's fine, the toys are out.
But yeah, to your point, matt.

Speaker 3 (48:31):
Yeah, we've done less and less and less and, honestly
, a more important projectthere's so much truth there we
all have different prioritiesthat's your answer to the summer
.
Though it was a safety issue,it had to be done the next thing
will be the spindles, becausethat's also a safety issue
they're too wide.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
Layla can fall right through and Scarlett can still
get her little hips through howthey built these.

Speaker 3 (48:55):
they built the houses in the 80s.
Layla can fall right throughand Scarlett can still get her
little hips through.
She showed me that the otherday.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
I was like, oh, yeah, so how they built these?
They built the houses in the80s.
I think this is early 80s onthis one.

Speaker 3 (49:04):
But yeah, the spindles.

Speaker 1 (49:06):
they need to be a little bit closer together now,
and so the code is different.
But yeah, we've seen our kidsstick their bodies through there
, which is kind of funny.

Speaker 3 (49:15):
Funny is not the right word.
Yeah, because they're up at thelanding part you need your
pillow mountain down here.

Speaker 4 (49:21):
It would be fine, right yeah?

Speaker 3 (49:23):
Uh-huh, yeah, go ahead.
So I know you were wanting towrap up, I wanted to ask what do
you have in mind for the futurewith Arlington Heights and your
involvement?
Any plans or visions.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
Oh yeah.
Well, I get asked like Am Isitting across from the future
mayor?

Speaker 2 (49:41):
I feel like I get asked almost daily right, you
got to run for mayor, you got torun for office.

Speaker 4 (49:45):
I would like to get involved.

Speaker 2 (49:47):
I would like to get involved, you know, be at like a
park seat, a zoning board seat,you know, something like that.
So I think the future would besome level of involvement in one
of those facets, because wecare, you know, ultimately it's
not a place of, you know,pursuit of power or, you know,
whatever it is, it's justbecause we care what happens
darling tonight, we care aboutits direction.

(50:09):
I mean, we're very involved,we're trying to go to, you know,
any of the we went to, like themayoral, uh, was it?

Speaker 3 (50:15):
the debate you know, I went to the, we went with you
guys, that's right.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
And then I, with another couple neighbors, I went
to the mou with the bears inarlington.
Oh, tonight's yeah, yeah.
So just to get more involved,just to get more involved and
and just see what you know yougo to the safety things like
through, like the, the publicschools, to understand.

Speaker 4 (50:35):
Yeah, yeah, I just has a whatever expertise that's
in our heads.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
We could lend Arlington Heights and help out.

Speaker 4 (50:41):
We want to do that when that path leads who knows?

Speaker 2 (50:44):
but just to get more involved and help the direction.

Speaker 1 (50:47):
I mean, I just feel like you guys do so much and
it's, it's amazing to me.
It's ginger.
It's ginger's birthday, by theway.

Speaker 4 (50:54):
Oh, I saw the card.
I didn't know it was today.

Speaker 3 (50:59):
Our kitty is nine years old.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
But yeah, you guys just do so much, which is just
amazing to me.
I mean, you never feel likeyou're overwhelmed with your
activities or like you just needto hey, man, I'm just going to
chill, or something.
I just feel like you want needto hey, man, I'm just going to
chill, or something.
I just feel like you're youjust you want to be so involved.
And again, I think it juststems from you could tell, you

(51:23):
guys just care and you careabout making your kids happy or
giving them the greatopportunities, so that you know
whatever they want to do thatday, you're going to help
support that and you've kind oflike committed your weekends to
yeah, you know we're going torevolve around our kids and then
we're also going to kind ofbring in our friends too at the
same time and like they gethappiness, we get happiness, and

(51:44):
like there's a, there's abigger picture and I I don't
know, you guys just do it sowell.
So I think it's again.

Speaker 4 (51:49):
That's why that's why you're here.
When the when the friends haveawesome families right Like,
that's always a beautiful thing.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
Yeah, well, I think it also goes to you know, katie,
early on having kids werealized it's easy to get lost
in your kids.
You know some parents, theyhave kids and then that's their
world and we want to not losesight on what makes us
individually happy for Katie.
And as a couple that's beingextremely social, having a lot

(52:16):
of deep relationships.
My side, I want friends, I wantparties.
I also have a lot of veryquirky interests and passions
that we continue to cultivateand I think that makes you more
well-rounded.
I mean, yeah, I think it makesyou a better parent, it makes
you a better employee at yourworkplace and it makes you a
better parent.

(52:37):
It makes you a better employeeat your workplace and it makes
you better involved in yourcommunity.
So we try to balance it allbecause we're just constantly
pursuing the things that we thatmake us happy.
By happenstance.
It does happen to be beinginvolved.
Just that's just what makes ushappy and you know, I love our
kids dearly, but we also want usto be happy individually.

Speaker 4 (52:56):
You know we're working on that this year too,
making sure that we're settingaside time for us as a couple.
Yeah, Because it does.
It gets trickier the morechildren you have.
It does.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
You guys are good about that.
So you guys, yeah, so what areyou doing there to kind of like
give yourself a little bit moretime, time together?

Speaker 2 (53:11):
Yeah Well, I'll tell you one of our secrets.

Speaker 4 (53:14):
It went from a weekend secret.
Oh gosh, I don't know wherehe's going with this.
It's a lot of you know what.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
Stop it.
So that's important.
The real secret is like we havethe week split up and the way
we've done it is I have a couplenights to myself, she has a
couple nights to herself, Afterthe kiddos are in bed.
Yeah, yeah and then we havenights together and self.
She has a couple nights forherself and then we have nights
together and what that reallydoes.
But the biggest thing it doesis, let's say, my night is a

(53:42):
Thursday night and I get to playvideo games, I get to work in
my garage selfishly,uninterrupted, I get my own
world.
And then Friday night we'llhave a date night and I've
satisfied that need of mine.
I know that's put on the shelf.
I can fully focus on my wife.

(54:02):
And that enables us to just benon-distracted and together, and
so it really heightens thatquality time versus what was
happening in the past was youknow, I need to mow the lawn, I
need to, the garage is a mess.
Or you know, I want to do oneof my hobbies while I'm hanging
out with her.
So I'm thinking about it.
She's thinking, oh, I want toconnect with this person and

(54:23):
this, that the other and we'retogether, but we're not together
mentally.
Right and I think by doing thatit's dedicated time that you've
satisfied your other needs, soyou can fully focus and be in
the moment.
Yeah, it's done wonders for us.

Speaker 4 (54:37):
Yeah, I think that's good.
I think we have a sitter everythird Sunday that comes over for
a couple of hours that we cando.
We take turns, picking andchoosing what we want to do.
So sometimes that's it varies,right, sometimes it's church,
sometimes it's eating, sometimesit's going out whatever.
But we do that.
We try to prioritize, pick aday each weekend where one of us

(54:58):
sets the priorities and thenthe other does the opposite day,
so we can both accomplishanything that we're looking to
individually do.

Speaker 1 (55:04):
And you guys are both really involved in the whole
school drop-off too, it seems.
How do you figure that out eachday?

Speaker 4 (55:12):
We live close.
That's literally the perk.
But we have a schedule.
Oh Jason, we have a schedule.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
She's got a down color-coded schedule.
That's guy and color-coded.
You have to show it to me nexttime.
It's on the door right.

Speaker 3 (55:24):
Yeah, on the door Color-coded by the letters no
confusion, oh, both doors, it ison both doors.

Speaker 4 (55:31):
Upstairs too and his office.
It's a whiteboard?
No, it's like a printedsketchbook.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
Oh, it's a printed sketchbook, yeah, but it's like
behind like a frame kind of.

Speaker 4 (55:40):
Okay, yeah, I'm going to show you next time.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
Yeah, that's been very helpful, especially now,
since I recently started readingit.

Speaker 4 (55:47):
Yeah, he hadn't read it for years.
That little a-hole he's likewhose turn is it to drop off to?

Speaker 2 (55:52):
Oh Well, I'd show up with Bailey at the other daycare
.
I'd be like shit, there's noone here.

Speaker 4 (55:57):
That happened several times.
That happened enough.
She's like it's color-coded.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Matt, I'm like, oh, you're right, oh man, I'm an
idiot.
But you know, it's also COVID.
Covid's been the best thingthat's happened to us.
We both work from home majorityof the time.

Speaker 4 (56:13):
I mean that's been fantastic Working from home is
nice right, because it doesallow us, like lunch
opportunities, to just connectif or to do things like this
right.
I mean, like we do, we try togo out with, with friends, we
try to put something in thebooks once a month to go out
during like the week and so,yeah, it's just a lot of
different.
We try to maximize every, everyminute we have with the kids.

(56:36):
Without the kids, all thethings.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
Yeah, yeah, you guys have all the hacks.
It's so cool.
It's so cool you guys have aton of wisdom and you're still
very young.

Speaker 4 (56:49):
Well, you know, he did just turn 40.
I did just turn.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
Katie was like oh, you have so many gray hairs.
You guys have a lot of grayhairs.
Guys, look closely, it comes.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
I never noticed it's on the sides.

Speaker 1 (57:01):
This already disappeared.
I just noticed yesterday.
Hey man, once you hit 40, whatdo they say?
I'm a man, I'm 40.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
You should start saying that.
I'm going to start saying thatI'm a man.

Speaker 3 (57:20):
Well, I'm 39, so she's been prepping me for the
last year now, and your 40thbirthday was early too, right?

Speaker 2 (57:22):
Yeah, I think she had my 40th birthday six months
prior.

Speaker 4 (57:25):
Which there was good reason for it, but yeah, tell me
more about your rough life,buddy.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
I know it'll be a 50th shirt.

Speaker 3 (57:33):
when I'm 47 or something, it'll be a 50th shirt
when I'm 47 or something, orjust to be efficient?
I don't know what that's about.
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
That thing for older men.

Speaker 1 (57:44):
I guess.
So what's your one piece ofadvice?
That if you knew a new familythat was going into a new town
and they don't know anybody,what do you think is the first
thing that they could maybe doto kind of like find a way to
start building their own littlecommunity?
And what do you?

Speaker 2 (58:03):
what do you think you would suggest for somebody like
that?
Ooh, that's a good one.

Speaker 4 (58:05):
I think mine's pretty basic Just be friendly and kind
yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
Well, I mean the.
What made us successful isbeing outside.

Speaker 4 (58:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:14):
Right, like being outside, not being afraid to say
no.

Speaker 4 (58:17):
Cause.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
Again, it goes back to yeah, it goes back to the
number of interactions.
That's what you're not going tostrike up a friendship with the
first interaction with theperson you meet.
It's going to take five, six,seven.
You got to break through someice and then you'll develop a
friendship.
So continual interactions findthe space where there's going to
be the most interactions.

Speaker 4 (58:38):
You also feel comfortable?
Yeah, you feel comfortable,there's a park If it's out.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
You know, now I'm to the point.
Now when I go outside it'salmost comical I'll fire up the
power washer outside Jason'swrapping up and before it's warm
, people will come over.
You know, be outside interact,find interaction places.

Speaker 4 (58:57):
He says he's taking the trash out and it's like 45
minutes later because he stoppedand talked to like three
different like people walkingpast, yeah, yeah.
It's constant combos, yeah,yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
And is it?
And is it you like?
Because if you're power washing, you've got your head down.
But is it really like you'relooking around and like checking
your surroundings and like, hey, who's coming down and how?
Hey, I want to talk to thatperson.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
No, they're scared the shit out of me.
They will stand next to me.
I'll be like ah, greg, what areyou?
What do?

Speaker 4 (59:36):
you power washing what's going on there?
Did you break something?
It's wild, it's amazing.

Speaker 2 (59:38):
It is, I think, it's friendliest actor, but also
friendliness right like, even ifI'm feeling not in a social
mood, I'll push myself.
I'll just push myself takeadvantage of every social
interaction.
Ask more questions yeah, makepeople feel Do do the opposite
of what we're doing here.
Ask questions.

Speaker 4 (59:53):
Yeah, that's kind of wild right?

Speaker 1 (59:54):
Yeah, it's.
It's rare that we're.
This is the point.
Yeah, no, you're spewing thewisdom.
It's good All we do is askquestions.

Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
All we do is ask questions Constantly.
Be find ways to connect, themore the questions you're going
to find some commonality you'regoing to connect you've got to
ask questions non-stop.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
That's awesome.
This was a fantasticconversation yeah, it was.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
We didn't even get to the business part.
To get to the business part,what's?

Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
the business part their old business yeah, so we
used to have a business.
So I was working.
I'll try to keep itnon-elevator spiel, but
non-encyclopedia.
So I was working.
I'll try to keep itnon-elevator spiel, but
non-encyclopedia.
So I was working.
Well, that's another funnystory.
I could go into thousands offunny stories.
I was working at an agency ofIllinois I'm not going to state
its name and I was doing so wellthat my boss said hey, matt,

(01:00:46):
we're going to hire two peopleunderneath you.
They're going to do your joband you're going to do this next
big thing, which is what I wastrying to get to there.
You know it's going to take sixmonths.
We're going to elevate you.
You have this awesome spot tothis awesome work.
I was like that's great.
So two people came in and andthen this environment once they

(01:01:06):
come in, they're hard to get out.
That's important to the story.
So they came in six monthstrained them, because it's
government.
Right, it's quasi.

Speaker 4 (01:01:12):
It's government oversight.

Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
Anyways.
So the two folks came in, theytook over my job and then,
pretty much when the keys wereout of my hand, my boss was
fired.
She was gone, she got fired.
So here I was.
I now don't have a job, but Igetting paid and I'm showing up
to this office.
We get, I finally get a newboss who didn't want that job of

(01:01:36):
being that boss of thatdepartment.
I go to her and I'm like hey,you know I, I don't have any
work to do.
All my work is given to thesetwo folks.
Oh, just hang tight, we'llfigure it out.

Speaker 4 (01:01:47):
Well, you did have one One monthly commitment.
I had one, one monthlycommitment.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
I had one commitment I was very good at data
analytics and I would present tothe board of directors trends
and ways I saw of fixing issues.

Speaker 4 (01:01:58):
But it was like a two-hour thing.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
It was like a two, three-hour thing Monthly, and so
once a month I'd put togetherslides, deep analytics on how to
save millions of dollars, howBillions of dollars, how to save
time is construction, how tosave time by accelerating this
portion of a contract.

Speaker 3 (01:02:12):
All right all right.

Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
All that fun stuff, anyways.
So, yeah, thanks.
So, anyways, this goes on.
So the first month goes by andmonth by month Got to the point
I would show up and just watchNetflix.
Get to the business.

Speaker 4 (01:02:25):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
I love this story.
Please keep going so this is myproblem.

Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
I don't know when to stop.
I don't know how much detailyou want.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
We can be here.
We can go the distance if youwant.
We can be here for three hours.

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
So, long story short, I was like, yeah, this
corporate world sucks.
You know, you could be reallygood and get fired.
You can have a job that has nomeaning.
You can have a job without anywork.
I was like I want to start my,I want to do something I've
always wanted to do which issomething to do with motorcycles

(01:02:59):
and mechanics and teach people.
So I came up with an ideathat's not new, not not, you
know, not entirely new, but torun my own community motorcycle
garage, kind of like a gym,right, like.
So you pay, pay a fee, you bringin your motorcycle, you have a
mechanic there to help you.
It's kind of like a gym, rightLike.
So you pay, pay a fee, youbring in your motorcycle, you
have a mechanic there to helpyou.
It's kind of a club.

(01:03:19):
So it's half social, halfrepair, half all that.
You know it's all just a blend,very different than a
traditional drop-off repair shop.
And so over the span of one totwo years we did all the work
you know, got it imaged, alllegwork, the financial, the
legal foundation, the waivers,the attorneys, all that fun
stuff, and opened a shop and,you know, wasn't profitable, you

(01:03:40):
know, for the first year, yearand a half and even after that
wasn't very, very profitable,but it was incredible it was
holding its own it was holdingthis pain for itself.
Yeah, and so I think at theheight of it we had 30 or 40
members.
We had three bays, computers,tools, a library of stuff, and
we ran the shop on the weekends,or I ran the shop, and it

(01:04:01):
became this kind of clubmotorcycle hangout.
It was incredible, it was apassion of mine, you know.
You know I really wanted to doit.
Very happy we experienced itand after three years we closed
it down.
You know, we had our firstchild and I missed a lot of
really important stuff with myfirst child.
You know I would disappear onthe weekends.
Katie'd be home with her firstchild and her other lover and I

(01:04:25):
was very jealous, and so I was.
Well, I want the second childto be mine as well, so I better
close this thing down.
I love Matt.

Speaker 1 (01:04:39):
So I was like I better hang up my keys here.
I make the same comments aboutthe milkman that stops you at
the door.

Speaker 2 (01:04:46):
Yeah, right he does and she was very disappointed.
I did.
She had to break it off, but itwas.
It was.
It was wonderful.

Speaker 4 (01:04:54):
I mean you know it was a really cool experience it
is is bittersweet.

Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
It's very bittersweet .
It's a very tough point in mylife because I had to choose
essentially between attention tomy family or the self-pursuit
of a passion and I think growingyour family is probably the
better word.

Speaker 4 (01:05:10):
right, right, yeah, exactly it's also my wife, right
.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
Attention to my wife too.

Speaker 4 (01:05:14):
Growing your family, not just my new child, right
yeah, exactly, or expanding abusiness because it was at a
point where we either needed todive full in.
I think you guys could probablyunderstand this right.
There's these points rightwhere you can either dive full
in and fully invest.

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
You know, there's these points right where you can
either die full in and fullyinvest, but we were both working
full-time jobs still at thetime, and that was an evening,
mainly weekend, scenario.

Speaker 4 (01:05:37):
And so pre-kids it wasn't a problem, right, because
I could pop in and out wheneverI wanted and it was just this
really nice vibe.
And then I got pregnant andthat didn't even matter, because
when you're pregnant you don'twant to do anything, you just
want to lay on the couch anywayand binge watch dumb TV.
So, even that wasn't as obvious.
And then baby number one shewould still come, Ellie would
still go to the shop and youknow we would, we would go and

(01:05:58):
spend time, but it became lessand less right, because it is a
little bit trickier when youhave a child and you're trying
to.
You know, merge these, thesethese worlds of of motorcycles
and cleanliness and babies, andand then when we start talking
about growing the family evenmore, you know what does that
look like and what and what dowe?
How do we want that toultimately look?

Speaker 2 (01:06:19):
Yeah, yeah, it'd be hard to grow a family working 80
hours a week, right?
Essentially what was happeningfor three years.

Speaker 4 (01:06:25):
Right, but I do think , I do think it's it's in his
future again, I hope it is.
I think it would be an awesomeretirement option Because it was
a lot of fun.
He cultivated that vibe that wehave right now in downtown
Arlington Heights of going thereand being kind of that.

Speaker 2 (01:06:40):
He calls it, like the cruise, right the cruise feel
he did that with motorcycles andstill has great friends to this
day that really are still partof our network.
Yeah, yeah, totally.

Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
That's the long and short of it.
Oh, it's amazing man yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
No well, it makes me really kind of like think about
our whole situation.
I spend a lot of my weekendslike right now I'm in super busy
season as a real estate agent.
It's just like spring market,where I'm like constant every
single day I'm out doingsomething and that's Saturday,
sunday and a lot of times likeit's, you know, in the fall time
.
I can really, you know, havethose those times, but right now

(01:07:19):
I can, I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:07:20):
Yeah, our lifestyle is very seasonal.

Speaker 1 (01:07:22):
Yeah, yeah and it's and so, yeah, I mean, as you
think, as you kind of comment on, like man, I really missed a
lot of those really importantmoments, which is true, I think.
At the same time, I don'talways feel that way, that I'm
missing things because I am hereLike I work from home.

Speaker 4 (01:07:38):
I think that is a big , I think that's a big thing,
like I'm not in the office youknow, so I see my.

Speaker 3 (01:07:44):
I see my kids when they come home from school and
you know, that's been a bigpiece of why we haven't gotten
an office is how differentthings would look if you
actually left for the day anddidn't come home right yeah.
And if I didn't come home rightexactly yeah and I think that
that that's the flex.

Speaker 1 (01:07:58):
I I do have a flexible schedule, but the same
time I don't it's just not atraditional yeah, right, yeah,
and um, yeah, but, but I still Ifeel like I still get a lot of
FaceTime with the kids, butobviously I'm always trying to
scale that back.
I would love to be a part ofmore play dates and I think that
I'm.
Hey, I might be able to do itone time, but I can't do it

(01:08:20):
consistently.

Speaker 4 (01:08:21):
I think you're pretty good about it.

Speaker 1 (01:08:23):
I try I try.

Speaker 4 (01:08:24):
I feel like you're intentional, yeah, I try.

Speaker 3 (01:08:26):
I think the hardest thing is one, one thing that I
love, like your guys' systemwith your schedule and
everything, and I have wantedthat for so long and I'm finally
like accepting the fact of likewe are day by day, because we
really kind of have to be day byday, so it's like connect in
the morning.
What's your day look?
Like what's our day look likeOkay, how is this going to work?

Speaker 1 (01:08:46):
And it's working now.
You wouldn't believe the lifeof a real estate agent is so
sporadic.

Speaker 3 (01:08:50):
It's so sporadic.

Speaker 1 (01:08:51):
But I literally can't .
It's very, very difficult forme to have something scheduled
every single time or everysingle week at the exact same
time.
It is always different becausethere's always a different deal.

Speaker 3 (01:09:03):
Well, it's even a couple days ahead of time,
because if somebody sees aproperty on a Tuesday, they
decide they want to put an offerin it by Wednesday.
Thursday you're doing aninspection and so, like that
wasn't on the schedule on Mondayor Tuesday right, cause you got
to do it within a five minutewindow.

Speaker 1 (01:09:19):
Yeah, all of these very big time commitment pieces
pop up at the last minute andyou know, and now that we live
out here, it takes me a littlebit longer to get into the city
or like wherever I'm showing theproperty, chances are the
average drive time is like 30minutes, right, so so it
consumes a lot more time, but atthe same time, again, like I
still feel that I am a part ofdrop off when I, when I need to
be, or when I when I want to be,and baby number three comes.

Speaker 3 (01:09:42):
He'll be doing a job.
I'll probably be doing a littlebit more of that.

Speaker 4 (01:09:46):
Yeah, for sure We'll take Jason in the halls, but I
can really relate to what youwere saying.

Speaker 3 (01:09:52):
It's like everything's like a cost-benefit
analysis, right?

Speaker 2 (01:09:54):
It's like.

Speaker 3 (01:09:55):
It's a trade-off of your time and we've had several
of those conversations of like,even like me, like not working,
like that wasn't ever like theintent, but I see how much of an
impact that would have on ourfamily if I did go back to work,
right now Right, you know it'slike it's.
It doesn't really make sense,because we need that, that
stable piece for for our kidsand for our family.

Speaker 1 (01:10:14):
Yeah, yeah, you gotta look at those things, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:10:18):
You have to make the decisions Right, as every family
looks different and every everydynamic looks different, and as
long as it works for you andyour family, that's.

Speaker 3 (01:10:26):
And it's a phase like you said right, like you think
this will come back for him andI think work will come back for
me sometime too.
It's like just like this phaseof life and making it, making it
work Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (01:10:39):
Sorry, I wanted you to finish that story because I
was actually starting to crackup, because I've heard this
story probably like two or threetimes, where you're like the
whole the Netflix thing.
And then Katie cut you off.
It's actually really funny.

Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
I'll tell you one more.

Speaker 4 (01:10:52):
I cut him off because you've heard it two or three
times.

Speaker 2 (01:10:55):
I want to hear it again.

Speaker 4 (01:10:56):
I'll tell you what.

Speaker 2 (01:10:58):
The most interesting piece of the story when I
realized like, okay, this hasgotten to point to be ridiculous
.
It was probably about fourmonths in and I was exhausting
my Netflix library.

Speaker 1 (01:11:10):
You're at this point.
You don't have any work.

Speaker 2 (01:11:12):
I don't have any work .
You just got a new boss, thenew boss has no idea what you're
doing.
Yeah, one piece of work I didwas really interesting.
I was able to determine.
Anyway, I don't want to getinto anything proprietary, but
anyways, I did a big slide deckpresentation that led to some
serious changes and it wasprobably like a Thursday
presentation that led to someserious changes and it was

(01:11:32):
probably like a Thursday.
It was past five o'clock.
I was, you know, halfwaythrough a movie.
It was a really good one.
I don't remember what it was.
You know, when I go into theoffice I immediately take off my
dress shoes.
My slippers are there, slippingmy slippers, and it's probably
like 545, 550 pm.
Everyone's gone for the day.
You know, I'm sitting there bymyself, we have my headphones on
and then I watch this movie onmy screen and I hear this

(01:11:54):
ringing and it's my desk phone.
This is 10, 15 years ago andthe inner phones, right.
So the phones between officesin the building, and usually my
process is to let it ring and goto voicemail Because I didn't
have a job.

Speaker 4 (01:12:09):
Sounds like a true government job.
Huh, I kid, I kid, ring and goto voicemail because it cause I
didn't have a job.

Speaker 2 (01:12:12):
They were calling.
They were calling me forsomething that I necessarily
wasn't responsible for, so Ifigured it out.
If I just ignored it, theywould find someone to get help,
and so I'd usually ignore it.
So it had a lot of dust on it,anyways.
So it was like almost you know545, 550 and the phone's ringing
and it was my boss's boss onthe caller id and I'm like shit,
this is it, I'm out.

(01:12:33):
You know the, the gig is up youknow, I'm like ah, well, okay,
you know, better, take off myslippers, put on my shoes.
I answer the phone and he'slike matt, what are you still
doing here?
Oh, you know, I'm just wrappingsomething up.
Oh, he's like wow, that's great, did you?
Did you get you know?
so you're doing overtime yeahbecause I would get overtime for
this, because I'm you know, I'mworking after hours.

(01:12:54):
I'm like, yeah, you know, I amOkay.
Well, come on, come on up to myoffice, I need to talk to you
immediately.
And I'm like okay, this is it.
I got my phone, I go upstairsand he's like sit down.
And I don't know why he'sclosing the door.
There's no one there.
So I close the door and I sitdown and he's like Matt, I just
want to say what you've beendoing is phenomenal.

(01:13:18):
It's made such an impact.
We've saved this money.
We've saved this time.
We're going to give you a bigraise.
And I remember at the time I waspissed off because either A
fire me or B let me finish thismovie, Because I had to pause it
during a really good point inthe movie.
And he's telling me this andI'm like oh, I got a raise.

(01:13:39):
He's like here's your newsalary amount.
This is a substantial increase.
And I was like oh, thank you, Ireally appreciate it.
I'm going to go wrap up.
He's like I'm so impressed thatyou're even here after hours
getting this done.
Really appreciate it.
Thanks for all you do.
Bye, and I went, you know,finished my movie, clocked in

(01:13:59):
the overtime and left for theday.
It's a true story.
It's a true story.

Speaker 4 (01:14:05):
It's the wildest thing in my life.
It is the same I say this often, but I do genuinely.
Matt is probably like.
I know.
He comes across as very funny,but he's actually the smartest
person I know and the wild thingabout him is he is so efficient
and he tells me guys are weakand so guys want to find so the
quickest route to figure, tofigure out a solution.

(01:14:28):
And so what he does at work, heliterally does this right, and
so it's just this continualprocess.
Wherever he is he comes in, herecognizes a process that may
take I'm just going to say,generically 10 hours, and then
he somehow, he hacks it, doeshis thing and then it gets down
to one hour, right, and so herepetitively does this
everywhere he goes, and so to atraditional worker, it would

(01:14:51):
take them that 10 hours.
It only takes him just that onehour but, but in theory it would
take anyone else that amount oftime.
And so, and so you know hedoesn't always give himself
enough enough work credit, sothe value of the work you were
doing.
I mean he's, he's putting outreally high valuable information
in less than two hours in amonth, Right, I mean that's.
That doesn't just happen.

Speaker 1 (01:15:12):
Naturally there does have to be some yeah, yeah, you
purposely did that to yourselfwhere it's just like hey, I want
more time in my day.
Well, let's, let's shave offthis 10 hour work and let's find
some improvements and let's doit a lot sooner, so now I can
hang out and watch Netflix.

Speaker 2 (01:15:27):
You gotta be smart to be lazy.

Speaker 1 (01:15:29):
Yeah, oh, that's great.
You got to be smart to be lazy.

Speaker 2 (01:15:32):
Yeah, oh, that's great, you have to be.
Yeah, I tell Kay that that'sright.
You know men are the laziestpeople on the planet, but that's
led to almost every inventionthat we have how to do it
quicker, easier and better.
That's it.
That's the it's the key.
Laziness is so important.
I don't want to work, I wantthings to work for me.
So that's exactly what I do.

Speaker 4 (01:15:51):
It makes you efficient.

Speaker 2 (01:15:53):
Yeah, it makes it very efficient.
What's a better way to do it?
What's a quicker way?

Speaker 3 (01:15:56):
Yep, because then you get to do more.

Speaker 1 (01:15:58):
Yeah, yeah, you can do a lot more or less or less.
It's really less or less.

Speaker 4 (01:16:03):
Or less, more parties .

Speaker 1 (01:16:13):
Love, love it, that's true.
So fun, all right.
Well, milford's, thank you forjoining us.
This was awesome.
I guess how we wrap up thisconversation is always like
what's the biggest takeaway fromthe conversation?

Speaker 3 (01:16:19):
and, rach, we'll start with you go first I know I
have a couple times I'm likeI'm not there yet.
Yeah, I think I think mybiggest takeaway is your guys's
intentionality with community.
I mean you, at the very, verybeginning of the show, had such
a analysis of of what you werelooking for and why you were

(01:16:40):
looking for it and how to findit and then how to maintain it.
I mean it's really like aformula for, you know, building
root or planting roots andfeeling connected and finding
your own pursuit of happiness.
I think is what what I heardyou say, and I don't know that
enough people take enough timeto actually analyze what they
want, to be able to identify howto find it and then find it and

(01:17:01):
keep it.
You know, like I think youreally laid out a very clear
formula for how to do that.
And I think, I think people aregoing to find that useful.
Yeah, how to find it and keepit, because there's a lot of
like yeah, it was all the stepsyeah yeah, this was a
fascinating conversationhonestly, like this is going to
be really fun to re-listen to.

Speaker 1 (01:17:18):
I think a lot of people can learn a ton from this
Because I feel like in today'sworld we kind of lack that whole
human interaction Becauseeverything is so screen-driven
right and we have a lot more ofour social interactions now just
happening on social media andbelieve it or not, you guys
don't have social media.

Speaker 2 (01:17:39):
You guys are still so old school.
I have Facebook with no friends, just for Marketplace.
That is it.

Speaker 4 (01:17:48):
But Jason asked me a really good question the other
day.
He said how does Matt send?
What did you tell me?

Speaker 1 (01:17:55):
Well, you're an ex.
Thank you, thank you All right.

(01:19:36):
So where this all ended herewas we were going back to the
fact that you guys don't haveany social media right, and so,
basically, what I recognize isthat you keep it old school and
you go back to thehuman-to-human interaction and
you're not like the oldergeneration doing that, you're
this generation doing that,which I think is super special.
And so I think for anybody,that's really kind of listening

(01:20:00):
and it's like how do I build acommunity?
Well, I think we have to goback to the roots, right, and
it's not necessarily being onsocial media and organizing
these things.
It's literally going out andtalking to your neighbors and
asking if you guys want to do ablock party.

Speaker 3 (01:20:14):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:20:15):
And and being the person that organizes, I've
realized I've gone to a ton ofnetworking events.
The person that organizes thenetworking events is always the
person that gets to knoweverybody, because they're
coming, because they know you,because you're the organizer and
you you typically have a tie tosomebody in that room and so

(01:20:37):
when you can be in the positionof being the organizer, it just
kind of grows your popularity orbut like you just get your
network expands and you get tomeet a lot of great people and
then, but you also just broughtup like great stuff too, which
is like you know, how, know, howdo you maintain those
relationships?
So just because I know youdoesn't mean that we have a
great relationship and you guysare going a little bit deeper on
, like how do we, you know, findthe people who really like to

(01:21:00):
be around and really deepen it?
But you brought some great tips.
Ask questions right to the otherperson, and so I think these
are all like literally simplethings that people can walk away
from like after listening tothis conversation, and I think
that's one of, like you know,the takeaway for me.
So I have to ask you guys youguys did a lot of talking, which
is great, so now you have toreflect on what was the biggest

(01:21:21):
takeaway from some of yourcomments.

Speaker 2 (01:21:23):
Well, I will let ladies go first.
Oh, that's convenient.

Speaker 3 (01:21:27):
I'm sorry, it's a taste that always feels sweet.

Speaker 4 (01:21:32):
Now, that's convenient.
Now you're the gentleman.

Speaker 2 (01:21:35):
Called out.

Speaker 4 (01:21:36):
Yeah, good question.
I think it's just a friendlyreminder for me.
I'm, I'm, I am like a firmbeliever of if I want to have a
conversation or know somethingabout you, I'm going to text her
, I'm going to schedule a time,and so I think it's just
affirmation that, like thatworks Right, and even just like
this this is a podcast, but it'salso a still hanging Right and

(01:21:58):
and it's still hanging andlearning, and so I think that's
probably my biggest takeaway isis just like affirmation that I
like the style in which we doconnect.

Speaker 1 (01:22:11):
Yeah, cause it works.

Speaker 3 (01:22:12):
Yeah, yeah, cause.
How many times are you inconversation with people You're
like, oh yeah, we should grablunch sometime.
Or oh yeah, we should grabcoffee and talk about that, and
then you just don't have theinitiator right.

Speaker 1 (01:22:20):
You don't have a person that follows up.

Speaker 4 (01:22:21):
But to that point, the reversal is, I am actually
intentionally trying not to bethe initiator of of as many
things this year, because that'sone of my my 2025 goals,
because it's okay that I don'talways have to initiate.
I can just sit back and enjoyas well.
So it goes.
It goes a little bit.
I think that's part of thebeing intentional aspect, but it

(01:22:44):
can go both ways.
You're up.

Speaker 2 (01:22:47):
Well, first of all, I you know, I think, a couple of
takeaways, one being being Iit's it's interesting being
interviewed, you know, I I feellike we could have done a better
job asking y'all questions no,that's not.

Speaker 4 (01:22:58):
That's not the point okay okay, but maybe we should
make it the point, we can do areversal next time you guys
could totally host the podcast,you know the takeaway is, I
think, the reason why we likeyou guys.

Speaker 2 (01:23:11):
I mean, you guys are very down to earth, you're very
inquisitive, you're just a greatset of folks that we equally as
admire.
I mean, your listeners probablycan't see, but I don't have
quite the chiseled physique.
You know, you guys, we didn'teven talk about Katie does.
We didn't even talk about, youknow, the 75 hard where you guys
did a 75 hard.

Speaker 4 (01:23:32):
And we did the 30 mid we didn't talk about that.

Speaker 2 (01:23:36):
I call it the 50 chubby.
Oh my gosh.
But we admire a lot of stuffabout you guys.
I mean you guys you know, weyou know, I appreciate that.
You know telling us that we'rereally good at socializing and
stuff like that and we try, butwe've got a lot of areas for

(01:23:57):
growth that we realize that youguys have, you guys excel in and
we really appreciate.

Speaker 4 (01:24:02):
The individual growth .
I think to your point.
They both very much excel andwe admire about you, and so that
is something that you knowwe've had this conversation of
what do we individually want todo, Like, because that is that
is inspirational.

Speaker 2 (01:24:16):
Yeah, I love that about you guys.

Speaker 4 (01:24:17):
It's a pleasant conversation we want
face-to-face interaction,face-to-face bonding.

Speaker 2 (01:24:32):
You know that's what we prioritize.
You know, like you said, withthe lack of social media, we
don't get that dopamine hit whensomeone likes a post that we
post or a picture from one ofour vacations.
We get that dopamine hittalking to people about it or
having conversations.
So it just affirms that.
You know, I think our directionis a is a good direction.

(01:24:53):
Yeah, so it's been a lot of fun, so really appreciate it guys.

Speaker 1 (01:24:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, this is awesome.
Well, we could totally do itagain and we could go into.
We'll find a lot moreconversation.

Speaker 2 (01:25:06):
I mean we, we, we didn't, we didn't talk about it.

Speaker 1 (01:25:08):
Yeah, we didn't talk about.
Yeah, we didn't talk about whatwe regularly talk about.

Speaker 4 (01:25:11):
What do you regularly talk about?

Speaker 3 (01:25:15):
Oh it's like more from.

Speaker 1 (01:25:15):
Well, you guys, you guys threw a great party and we
were so lucky to be invited tothat, which was the, you know,
inauguration We've been reallylike into like real estate but
also conspiracy we need to playlike more like taboo topics
speaking of, I saw a girlfriendyesterday and she totally made

(01:25:37):
me think of you because she hadher m-a-h-a sweatshirt.

Speaker 4 (01:25:42):
Oh my god, yeah, yep, yep, yep and my hat yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah, oh, yeah, we could,we could, we could talk on that,
yeah, oh yeah, I, I mean, andthat's and that's the fun part,
right?

Speaker 1 (01:25:52):
So the four of us always go out to dinner and we,
you know, half the time we'retalking about that and then half
the time we're talking aboutthe kids, and you know, and it's
, it's just great, it's reallyenjoyable, and the best part is
that our kids are friends, whichis really great.

Speaker 2 (01:26:13):
Yeah, and Lila's first friend ever.

Speaker 3 (01:26:14):
Yeah, yeah like Jason said, you guys are the first
people we met at the school andthat just so happened that our
kids became best friends, lucky,lucky, yeah, so cute All right
guys.

Speaker 1 (01:26:27):
Well, thank you for listening to the show.
If you found any value in it,which I'm sure you did tons and
tons of wisdom out of this oneplease share it and we will
catch you on the next episode.

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