October 17, 2024 • 22 mins
In this episode, Ben and Jim explore the balance between medication, meaningful connections, and long-term health. They discuss how pills can be a temporary bridge toward healthier habits but shouldn’t replace physical activity and relationships. Ben shares personal stories about his own weight loss journey, the mental and physical connection, and the power of forgiveness in healing. Whether you’re starting your journey or seeking sustainability, this episode reminds us that we’re all walking the path to better health together.
Takeaways:
- Medication can be part of the process, but it’s important to include physical activity and community in your wellness journey.
- Forgiveness and letting go of resentment can lead to significant improvements in physical health.
- You don’t have to go at it alone—lean on friends, family, and even online communities to stay motivated.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jim (00:00):
Welcome to real men hug a podcast for men and the women
who love them I'm, jim
Ben (00:06):
And I'm Ben.
And
Jim (00:07):
And even though we haven't recorded for a few weeks now.
I still remembered our tagline
Ben (00:13):
Same.
It's been a little while.
I'm glad Jim started the showbecause all I had to say was,
And I'm Ben.
But we can't forget the mostimportant line of all,
Jim (00:24):
Real men hug
Ben (00:25):
Welcome to the
Jim (00:27):
Welcome
Ben (00:30):
You forgot that
Jim (00:31):
to the
Ben (00:39):
It has, but the good news is it's only been since
September that we released anepisode.
No, so I mean we didn't miss anentire month.
So that's
Jim (00:50):
So we're still both crazy, busy, and you know what?
Trying a new format.
What if we did 20 to 30 minuteepisodes and we
Ben (01:01):
the scenes, because not only are we doing 20 to 30
minute episodes, we're alsodoing random hand
Jim (01:07):
random hand
Ben (01:08):
Ben can't figure out,
Jim (01:10):
That was, that was me drawing attention to the fact
that I just slapped my kneesagain.
Ben (01:16):
Got it.
Jim (01:17):
You know, Ben's gotten new hearing aids, so it's all these
new sounds and sensations thatyou get to hear.
Ben (01:24):
It is so overwhelming and I'm a little bit self conscious
as I sit here and record.
I'm listening to my voice in myears with the headphones on and
the mic is like crisp and clearand I have the most nasally
voice I've ever heard.
Ever noticed before.
(01:45):
I don't know if it if I alwayssound like this and it's just
registering in my brainDifferently, but man, I sound
nasally like I'm from theMidwest or
Jim (01:55):
brain, I sound nasally like I'm
Ben (02:04):
So it's not like more nasally now than it has been in
the past
Jim (02:09):
or something.
So it's not like Like whereyou're, yeah,
Ben (02:26):
That made editing real
Jim (02:27):
you know what?
That might be the first time I'mleaving that in.
Cause that'll be like the firsttime that our listeners
actually, you have no idea howmany of those I have cut out of
previous episodes.
Ben (02:38):
It did make editing
Jim (02:39):
It did make it.
Editing a bit of, but we did agood job.
we kind of had that rule of justrepeat what you said so that you
didn't have to try to extractthe little,
Ben (02:48):
to extract the
Jim (02:49):
I don't know,
Ben (02:49):
don't know.
It was rough.
It was really,
Jim (02:53):
like what are the little alien creatures from star Wars
that Jar Jar Binks, you know,whatever that,
Ben (03:03):
second person.
Somebody else was also comparingme to somebody from Star
Jim (03:09):
Now you're gonna have a complex I There's nothing weird
about your voice just to beclear.
Some people have a higher pitchvoice I think just for you It is
gonna be a little bit more onthat nasally side You've got
like all these structural thingswith your face and nose and
whatever you've had to deal with
Ben (03:26):
true.
It makes
Jim (03:27):
unsurprising
Ben (03:28):
we're talking about health today, so this is a perfect
segue.
I've got new hearing aids.
My medicine has been adjustedwithin the last year.
Jim (03:39):
losing some weight.
Ben (03:40):
been a really amazing year on the health front for
Jim (03:44):
and your health journey.
Ben (03:46):
really kind of knocking it out of the ballpark
Jim (03:49):
gotta take care of yourself.
Ben (03:50):
It's so
Jim (03:51):
And you've been going on like long walks and
Ben (03:54):
Yeah, like eight miles.
Jim (03:57):
Ben.
Ben (03:58):
It's pretty great
Jim (04:00):
Have you gotten lost yet?
Ben (04:02):
Almost, and I say almost because it was just a new park
that I had not been to beforeand I wasn't necessarily lost,
but I did have a moment of,okay, Where did I park and how
do I get back there?
But thankfully it was arelatively small park and I
(04:22):
wasn't terribly far away.
And on my super long walks, I'mon a path.
So if I get lost then there'ssomething pretty wrong with my
brain, but I digress.
Jim (04:35):
So I just think about it, it's a prioritization thing,
right?
The older you get, the moreimportant it is that you're
getting out there exercising,eating healthier, because it's
ironic, right?
When you have more time and moreenergy and more friends who are
of like mindedness, your body isa lot more gracious with you in
(04:56):
your, late teens and early
Ben (04:58):
Absolutely.
Jim (04:59):
then you get older and anxiety starts knocking on your
door.
And for women, it might beparamenopause or different
things like that, that you haveto deal with all these hormonal
changes or your hearing loss,all of that.
And then it's like, Hey, by theway, high blood pressure and
gout and arthritis and bam, bam,bam, things that make it harder.
(05:21):
And you're just sinking intoyour desk job.
How have you found that balanceto recognize?
hey, I have put on some poundsover the years and made some bad
decisions, and I need to make achange.
You had this big heart thinghappen, and you, you almost left
us there for a minute, and sonow you're trying to turn that
(05:42):
ship around.
How are you finding that balanceworking for you?
Ben (05:46):
What I've been realizing is that there is a time and a place
for taking medication to helpwith some of these conditions.
For example, if I have highblood pressure, then perhaps I
need to take some medication tolower the high blood pressure.
But the endgame cannot be, Let'sbe on blood pressure medication
(06:09):
for the rest of my life.
No, it should be let's let thismedication be a bridge So that
while i'm on the medication Ican start getting active Lower
the blood pressure naturallystart eating better, start
lowering things that causeanxiety, start making some of
(06:29):
those changes.
There was a season in life whereI didn't do those things where
It was easier to just throwmedicine at the high blood
pressure to throw medicine atthe depression at the anxiety
and so all of a sudden, youknow, I'm looking at my pill
container in the morning andthere's just like this growing
(06:50):
number of pills that I'm takingand the side effects just get
like a laundry list, includingthe ever so fun audible glitches
Exactly, and the brain fog thatsometimes would accompany some
of the medicines.
So for me, it's just been thisrealization that medication
(07:14):
isn't always the answer.
It can be an answer temporarily.
And it can be a bridge and it'sa very necessary thing, but it
doesn't have to be the answer,the end all be all.
That's been the biggesttakeaway, not to substitute
things like meaningfulconnections with people going
(07:37):
for walks with good friends.
For a long time when I wouldthink about Meaningful
connections with people wouldeither involve sitting for long
periods of time talking or goingout and getting food or coffee
and talking.
Jim (07:56):
There's nothing
Ben (07:56):
There's nothing wrong with it, but What I've been realizing
is it's just as fun to go for along walk with a friend too.
And so even my wife and I havebeen doing that.
Andi and I went on a date nightlast week.
We went for a walk and it wasawesome.
Right before sunset and thensure we picked up Greek food on
(08:19):
the way home, but we went for awalk first and it was awesome.
Jim (08:23):
awesome.
Ben (08:29):
I'm not going to read things into that Ted.
I shouldn't on this non explicitrated show, but
Jim (08:39):
it's important to exercise with your wife.
That's all I'm trying to say.
Stay heart healthy.
Ben (08:46):
Do you need a medication to do that?
Jim (08:49):
Oh boy.
Ben (08:50):
Sometimes anyway.
Jim (08:53):
I like what you had to say though, all jokes aside that it,
I think that as you get older,the more you can involve other
people in your health, thebetter.
And that might be like gettingon Strava so that you can have a
community of other people thatyou follow and they can see what
you're doing.
Ben (09:11):
Are you on
Jim (09:12):
I, my kid actually is on Strava, so maybe I should get on
Strava too.
Yeah.
So it's a way that you can keeptrack of what other people are
doing, or I know some people dothe Fitbit competitions.
It's just huge, like going onthe walks with your wife or, you
know, a dear friend or thingslike that, signing up for a race
that you know is coming up canmotivate you to do things.
(09:34):
I think I feel like community.
really is a huge part of it.
If you want to lose weight, it'sreally hard to do it in
isolation.
Ben (09:43):
Yeah, it's interesting to me how often I have substituted.
pills for people
Jim (09:51):
yeah,
Ben (09:53):
I think there needs to be room for both.
I'm not trying to shame those ofus who, who do take pills for
whether it's a mental healthcondition, or even to help
kickstart weight loss, or ifit's a heart condition.
Sometimes it is necessary totake those pills, but at the
same time, I think we can losesight of so easily that there
(10:16):
are alternatives out there andit may be hard and it's going to
take work, but you can get outthere and do it.
You know, flex your muscles andget some cardiovascular exercise
and it'll have the same impactas the pill.
Jim (10:33):
there's a genetic component to that.
I am not in the best shape rightnow, but 100 percent I will have
to be on blood pressuremedication at some point in my
life.
It's going to catch up with meas I get older.
I'm right on the edge of itright now.
I think where you can getyourself into trouble, you know,
I've heard stories of someoneliterally was like, Oh yeah,
losing your feet is a hereditaryin my family.
(10:56):
Diabetes is this hereditarything that we all get.
And then we lose our feet andit's just something that I have
to accept.
I forget which one type one ortype two, but it's like, no, you
don't genetically have diabetes.
You environmentally have beentold to just eat whatever you
want.
You never actually bother toexercise and eventually you get
diabetes and it gets so bad thatyou lose your feet.
(11:19):
That's not a genetics thing.
And that's, that's where you canget really into trouble where
it's like, Oh yeah, well I haveto take this medication because
of my diabetes.
While that's true, you haveeaten yourself into that
position where you need to, Iobviously there is a room for
some of that is a little bit outof people's control, but it's
(11:39):
there to help manage something.
Let's try to make some healthydecisions along the way so that
you don't have like you said.
If you're in your 40s barringsome genetic smack in the face,
it probably is somethingsomewhere along the way that you
made some poor decisions thatmaybe let's On this health
journey, try to start makingsome healthier choices and bring
(12:01):
some friends along.
Ben (12:03):
Yeah,
Jim (12:04):
You're looking really good by the way.
Just that, that body, justrocking it man.
Losing some weight.
Ben (12:14):
thanks.
Um,
Jim (12:16):
look good.
Ben (12:17):
Thank you.
Jim (12:19):
So what do you do?
When you're struggling to findthat balance where you have been
really busy with work andthere's a lot of like family
stuff going on, and maybe you'retrying to launch a second career
or a new business where all ofyour free time is pretty eaten
up with that thing, and youmight have just a tiny shred of
(12:41):
time where all you want to do isjust Sit in front of Netflix and
veg out or eat that bag of chipsYou know while you play your
video game into the wee hours ofthe night and not get enough
sleep What do you do when you'rejust slammed and exercise and
health is kind of the last thingon your mind
Ben (13:05):
For me, I take a look at my calendar and it's funny you say
that because this week was verymuch like that.
So what I did when I realized Iwasn't on track with my exercise
goals for the week and I justwanted to chill.
I pulled up my phone and I tooka look at my calendar and I saw
(13:26):
the things coming up that Ineeded to do and I just looked
for windows of time that I couldexercise.
I, I said to myself, okay, well,if I can't do it tonight, when
can I?
Realistically, by the time theweek is done.
And I saw that.
This evening I've got some timethat I can work with.
(13:49):
And so I just made a commitmentto myself.
I said, I don't have to do acrazy eight mile walk.
It'd be great if I can andawesome if I do.
But if I just get some movementin at some point on Saturday, I
will feel accomplished and withthat thought in mind, I allowed
(14:10):
myself to chill and get caughtup on a couple of episodes of my
shows and I did enjoy, it was ahealthy snack.
I had popcorn popped on thestove one night and what did I
have
Jim (14:27):
Half a stick of butter melted into it.
Ben (14:29):
Nope.
It was, some olive oil spray.
Nice.
Which was actually really
Jim (14:35):
good.
Look at
Ben (14:36):
Yeah.
And then last night I had apopsicle, like a Organicy
Popsicle something or other.
Jim (14:44):
So we just found online for like a hundred bucks.
We got an old elliptical thatsomebody was getting rid of.
And that's something that I can,you know, put the iPad on the
screen and watch a show while Ican do it and watch a 20 minute
show.
Just 20 minutes a day, do itwhile you're watching a show and
you can get that exercise in,remove some of those barriers.
(15:06):
Doing something where you'regetting to do something that you
enjoy, whether it's a podcast orwatching a show or something
like that.
I really like that mentality ofjust doing a little bit more
than you're doing
Ben (15:18):
Doing
Jim (15:18):
right?
So if you're not doing anythingand you just go for a 10 minute
walk, That's more exercise thanyou were doing before you're
making progress.
I have found the older I get,I'm, I'm sick of dieting.
I know that sometimes you needto, but what if I just make
(15:38):
lifestyle choices that I don'tever have to diet again, because
I have made life choices where Idon't allow myself to get to the
point where I need to dietagain.
Right.
That's where I'm trying to getsome of you were already there.
Pat yourself on the back.
Ben and I are working on it.
Ben (15:57):
Yup.
Yup.
Jim (15:59):
What do you think about, I mean, do you kind of try to
adopt a similar philosophy?
Ben (16:03):
Definitely.
I'm in a phase now where Irealized that just to get to the
short term goals that I have, Ineed to move quickly.
And so I'm moving quickly andlosing weight quickly.
Yup.
All with this understanding thatthis is not how it's going to be
long term.
This is a.
(16:24):
A kickstart, this is the rocketfuel that I need to leave the
orbit of my current habits andcurrent way of life.
This isn't how it's going to beforever, but I need this kick in
the pants to get out of what I'mdoing that I've been stuck in
for so long.
So I'm, I'm getting out of thatorbit that I've been in for the
(16:46):
better part of 10 years.
And it is pretty intense, butit's not always going to be this
intensity.
And when I am out of this rut,then it'll be more of a
maintenance mode.
And with that maintenance mode,some of the things that I've
learned in this hardcore phaseI'll carry with me.
(17:08):
It's definitely thinking aboutthis from the long game, not
just the short term.
Jim (17:14):
One last thing I wanted to ask you, I'm curious, mental
health and physical health forme are often really intimately
tied together.
And the worst that I'm doingmentally tends to be the worst
that I'm doing physically.
And that sort of is acompounding issue when it comes
to that.
Talk to me a little bit abouthow you've seen that change in
(17:35):
you as you have had some ofthese milestones along the way
where I don't have to take thismedication anymore or I've been
taking better care of myself andnow I don't have that or
sometimes it is getting theright medication like it finally
getting the CPAP machine so thatI can get a better night's
sleep.
How has that had an impact onyou mentally in this journey
(17:55):
that you've had medically?
Ben (17:57):
For as committed as I am to my mental health, there were a
few things that I was very muchstuck in.
And one of them was this senseof bitterness and, resentment
towards certain people in mylife.
And it was just holding mecaptive.
there was this sense ofunforgiveness and one of my
(18:21):
friends really challenged me to,to work on that.
And I told them, well, I'll,I'll work on that once I figure
out all of this physical stuffthat I have going on, because
that's my focus right now.
I don't have time to sit downand work through the resentment
(18:41):
and the, the mental piece of it.
I can't.
He challenged me, like, no, Idon't think you're gonna make
any progress until you sit withthis other stuff and really
figure it out.
And then he challenged me tolisten to this audio book on
forgiveness.
I honestly was annoyed becauseI'm like, you're not getting it.
(19:05):
I'm telling you, I need tofigure this physical stuff out
first, then I'll figure out therest.
Then I'll deal with all of theresentment that I have and the
bitterness and the unforgivenessand everything else.
just let me figure out thisphysical stuff.
But he wasn't giving up.
whatever, I'll, I'll listen tothe audio book.
(19:27):
Fine.
And he challenged me to listento the first chapter.
So I did.
I ended up listening to thewhole book because it was just
so good.
And I found so much freedom inwhat was being talked about.
it's called the book onforgiving and it's by Desmond
(19:48):
Tutu.
It wrecked me in the best waypossible, and it's just helped
me see that so much of thePhysical struggle that I've been
facing.
Desmond talks at length abouthow those who hold on to
resentment, it's like poison andit shows itself in inflammation
(20:12):
throughout the body.
I have had inflammation all overmy body, like the gout, the
arthritis, the so many differentthings.
There's just been so many Thingsso many different ways that
that's been showing up in mybody and it was this
unmistakable Connection as Iwalked and listened to this
(20:38):
book.
Ouch, ouch.
Yep.
Okay.
Got it.
I Understand and it just becameso clear to me in those moments
that maybe the work really isOne of forgiveness and maybe the
work really does begin in myhead and maybe it really is a
(21:02):
deeply connected thing ofletting go of those, broken hurt
feelings so that it can impactmy physical health in ways that
I perhaps didn't think it could.
So that's my answer.
Jim (21:19):
You holding on to some of those things has a mental
weight, but it can give you aphysical weight to, you know,
pun intended there that canspend so much time focused on
what others have that you don'tor how other people that have
hurt you.
That you're hurting your ownhealth and it's not helping
(21:41):
anything.
It's actually making thingsworse for you.
So if you can let those thingsgo, you're going to be in a
healthier place.
Ben (21:50):
Absolutely.
Jim (21:51):
Thanks so much for listening to our show today.
We're excited to be back on theairwaves and talking to you
really appreciate that you havebeen dedicated listeners to our
podcast.
This is your first time.
Thanks so much for being here.
We hope that you listen nexttime.
Ben (22:07):
Thanks for listening to Real Men Hug.
See you next time.
And remember, Real Men Hug, andthey also recognize When their
friends are right, and theylisten to the silly audiobooks,
even when they really don't wantto.
Welcome to real men hug a podcast for men and the women
who love them I'm, jim
Ben (00:06):
And I'm Ben.
And
Jim (00:07):
And even though we haven't recorded for a few weeks now.
I still remembered our tagline
Ben (00:13):
Same.
It's been a little while.
I'm glad Jim started the showbecause all I had to say was,
And I'm Ben.
But we can't forget the mostimportant line of all,
Jim (00:24):
Real men hug
Ben (00:25):
Welcome to the
Jim (00:27):
Welcome
Ben (00:30):
You forgot that
Jim (00:31):
to the
Ben (00:39):
It has, but the good news is it's only been since
September that we released anepisode.
No, so I mean we didn't miss anentire month.
So that's
Jim (00:50):
So we're still both crazy, busy, and you know what?
Trying a new format.
What if we did 20 to 30 minuteepisodes and we
Ben (01:01):
the scenes, because not only are we doing 20 to 30
minute episodes, we're alsodoing random hand
Jim (01:07):
random hand
Ben (01:08):
Ben can't figure out,
Jim (01:10):
That was, that was me drawing attention to the fact
that I just slapped my kneesagain.
Ben (01:16):
Got it.
Jim (01:17):
You know, Ben's gotten new hearing aids, so it's all these
new sounds and sensations thatyou get to hear.
Ben (01:24):
It is so overwhelming and I'm a little bit self conscious
as I sit here and record.
I'm listening to my voice in myears with the headphones on and
the mic is like crisp and clearand I have the most nasally
voice I've ever heard.
Ever noticed before.
(01:45):
I don't know if it if I alwayssound like this and it's just
registering in my brainDifferently, but man, I sound
nasally like I'm from theMidwest or
Jim (01:55):
brain, I sound nasally like I'm
Ben (02:04):
So it's not like more nasally now than it has been in
the past
Jim (02:09):
or something.
So it's not like Like whereyou're, yeah,
Ben (02:26):
That made editing real
Jim (02:27):
you know what?
That might be the first time I'mleaving that in.
Cause that'll be like the firsttime that our listeners
actually, you have no idea howmany of those I have cut out of
previous episodes.
Ben (02:38):
It did make editing
Jim (02:39):
It did make it.
Editing a bit of, but we did agood job.
we kind of had that rule of justrepeat what you said so that you
didn't have to try to extractthe little,
Ben (02:48):
to extract the
Jim (02:49):
I don't know,
Ben (02:49):
don't know.
It was rough.
It was really,
Jim (02:53):
like what are the little alien creatures from star Wars
that Jar Jar Binks, you know,whatever that,
Ben (03:03):
second person.
Somebody else was also comparingme to somebody from Star
Jim (03:09):
Now you're gonna have a complex I There's nothing weird
about your voice just to beclear.
Some people have a higher pitchvoice I think just for you It is
gonna be a little bit more onthat nasally side You've got
like all these structural thingswith your face and nose and
whatever you've had to deal with
Ben (03:26):
true.
It makes
Jim (03:27):
unsurprising
Ben (03:28):
we're talking about health today, so this is a perfect
segue.
I've got new hearing aids.
My medicine has been adjustedwithin the last year.
Jim (03:39):
losing some weight.
Ben (03:40):
been a really amazing year on the health front for
Jim (03:44):
and your health journey.
Ben (03:46):
really kind of knocking it out of the ballpark
Jim (03:49):
gotta take care of yourself.
Ben (03:50):
It's so
Jim (03:51):
And you've been going on like long walks and
Ben (03:54):
Yeah, like eight miles.
Jim (03:57):
Ben.
Ben (03:58):
It's pretty great
Jim (04:00):
Have you gotten lost yet?
Ben (04:02):
Almost, and I say almost because it was just a new park
that I had not been to beforeand I wasn't necessarily lost,
but I did have a moment of,okay, Where did I park and how
do I get back there?
But thankfully it was arelatively small park and I
(04:22):
wasn't terribly far away.
And on my super long walks, I'mon a path.
So if I get lost then there'ssomething pretty wrong with my
brain, but I digress.
Jim (04:35):
So I just think about it, it's a prioritization thing,
right?
The older you get, the moreimportant it is that you're
getting out there exercising,eating healthier, because it's
ironic, right?
When you have more time and moreenergy and more friends who are
of like mindedness, your body isa lot more gracious with you in
(04:56):
your, late teens and early
Ben (04:58):
Absolutely.
Jim (04:59):
then you get older and anxiety starts knocking on your
door.
And for women, it might beparamenopause or different
things like that, that you haveto deal with all these hormonal
changes or your hearing loss,all of that.
And then it's like, Hey, by theway, high blood pressure and
gout and arthritis and bam, bam,bam, things that make it harder.
(05:21):
And you're just sinking intoyour desk job.
How have you found that balanceto recognize?
hey, I have put on some poundsover the years and made some bad
decisions, and I need to make achange.
You had this big heart thinghappen, and you, you almost left
us there for a minute, and sonow you're trying to turn that
(05:42):
ship around.
How are you finding that balanceworking for you?
Ben (05:46):
What I've been realizing is that there is a time and a place
for taking medication to helpwith some of these conditions.
For example, if I have highblood pressure, then perhaps I
need to take some medication tolower the high blood pressure.
But the endgame cannot be, Let'sbe on blood pressure medication
(06:09):
for the rest of my life.
No, it should be let's let thismedication be a bridge So that
while i'm on the medication Ican start getting active Lower
the blood pressure naturallystart eating better, start
lowering things that causeanxiety, start making some of
(06:29):
those changes.
There was a season in life whereI didn't do those things where
It was easier to just throwmedicine at the high blood
pressure to throw medicine atthe depression at the anxiety
and so all of a sudden, youknow, I'm looking at my pill
container in the morning andthere's just like this growing
(06:50):
number of pills that I'm takingand the side effects just get
like a laundry list, includingthe ever so fun audible glitches
Exactly, and the brain fog thatsometimes would accompany some
of the medicines.
So for me, it's just been thisrealization that medication
(07:14):
isn't always the answer.
It can be an answer temporarily.
And it can be a bridge and it'sa very necessary thing, but it
doesn't have to be the answer,the end all be all.
That's been the biggesttakeaway, not to substitute
things like meaningfulconnections with people going
(07:37):
for walks with good friends.
For a long time when I wouldthink about Meaningful
connections with people wouldeither involve sitting for long
periods of time talking or goingout and getting food or coffee
and talking.
Jim (07:56):
There's nothing
Ben (07:56):
There's nothing wrong with it, but What I've been realizing
is it's just as fun to go for along walk with a friend too.
And so even my wife and I havebeen doing that.
Andi and I went on a date nightlast week.
We went for a walk and it wasawesome.
Right before sunset and thensure we picked up Greek food on
(08:19):
the way home, but we went for awalk first and it was awesome.
Jim (08:23):
awesome.
Ben (08:29):
I'm not going to read things into that Ted.
I shouldn't on this non explicitrated show, but
Jim (08:39):
it's important to exercise with your wife.
That's all I'm trying to say.
Stay heart healthy.
Ben (08:46):
Do you need a medication to do that?
Jim (08:49):
Oh boy.
Ben (08:50):
Sometimes anyway.
Jim (08:53):
I like what you had to say though, all jokes aside that it,
I think that as you get older,the more you can involve other
people in your health, thebetter.
And that might be like gettingon Strava so that you can have a
community of other people thatyou follow and they can see what
you're doing.
Ben (09:11):
Are you on
Jim (09:12):
I, my kid actually is on Strava, so maybe I should get on
Strava too.
Yeah.
So it's a way that you can keeptrack of what other people are
doing, or I know some people dothe Fitbit competitions.
It's just huge, like going onthe walks with your wife or, you
know, a dear friend or thingslike that, signing up for a race
that you know is coming up canmotivate you to do things.
(09:34):
I think I feel like community.
really is a huge part of it.
If you want to lose weight, it'sreally hard to do it in
isolation.
Ben (09:43):
Yeah, it's interesting to me how often I have substituted.
pills for people
Jim (09:51):
yeah,
Ben (09:53):
I think there needs to be room for both.
I'm not trying to shame those ofus who, who do take pills for
whether it's a mental healthcondition, or even to help
kickstart weight loss, or ifit's a heart condition.
Sometimes it is necessary totake those pills, but at the
same time, I think we can losesight of so easily that there
(10:16):
are alternatives out there andit may be hard and it's going to
take work, but you can get outthere and do it.
You know, flex your muscles andget some cardiovascular exercise
and it'll have the same impactas the pill.
Jim (10:33):
there's a genetic component to that.
I am not in the best shape rightnow, but 100 percent I will have
to be on blood pressuremedication at some point in my
life.
It's going to catch up with meas I get older.
I'm right on the edge of itright now.
I think where you can getyourself into trouble, you know,
I've heard stories of someoneliterally was like, Oh yeah,
losing your feet is a hereditaryin my family.
(10:56):
Diabetes is this hereditarything that we all get.
And then we lose our feet andit's just something that I have
to accept.
I forget which one type one ortype two, but it's like, no, you
don't genetically have diabetes.
You environmentally have beentold to just eat whatever you
want.
You never actually bother toexercise and eventually you get
diabetes and it gets so bad thatyou lose your feet.
(11:19):
That's not a genetics thing.
And that's, that's where you canget really into trouble where
it's like, Oh yeah, well I haveto take this medication because
of my diabetes.
While that's true, you haveeaten yourself into that
position where you need to, Iobviously there is a room for
some of that is a little bit outof people's control, but it's
(11:39):
there to help manage something.
Let's try to make some healthydecisions along the way so that
you don't have like you said.
If you're in your 40s barringsome genetic smack in the face,
it probably is somethingsomewhere along the way that you
made some poor decisions thatmaybe let's On this health
journey, try to start makingsome healthier choices and bring
(12:01):
some friends along.
Ben (12:03):
Yeah,
Jim (12:04):
You're looking really good by the way.
Just that, that body, justrocking it man.
Losing some weight.
Ben (12:14):
thanks.
Um,
Jim (12:16):
look good.
Ben (12:17):
Thank you.
Jim (12:19):
So what do you do?
When you're struggling to findthat balance where you have been
really busy with work andthere's a lot of like family
stuff going on, and maybe you'retrying to launch a second career
or a new business where all ofyour free time is pretty eaten
up with that thing, and youmight have just a tiny shred of
(12:41):
time where all you want to do isjust Sit in front of Netflix and
veg out or eat that bag of chipsYou know while you play your
video game into the wee hours ofthe night and not get enough
sleep What do you do when you'rejust slammed and exercise and
health is kind of the last thingon your mind
Ben (13:05):
For me, I take a look at my calendar and it's funny you say
that because this week was verymuch like that.
So what I did when I realized Iwasn't on track with my exercise
goals for the week and I justwanted to chill.
I pulled up my phone and I tooka look at my calendar and I saw
(13:26):
the things coming up that Ineeded to do and I just looked
for windows of time that I couldexercise.
I, I said to myself, okay, well,if I can't do it tonight, when
can I?
Realistically, by the time theweek is done.
And I saw that.
This evening I've got some timethat I can work with.
(13:49):
And so I just made a commitmentto myself.
I said, I don't have to do acrazy eight mile walk.
It'd be great if I can andawesome if I do.
But if I just get some movementin at some point on Saturday, I
will feel accomplished and withthat thought in mind, I allowed
(14:10):
myself to chill and get caughtup on a couple of episodes of my
shows and I did enjoy, it was ahealthy snack.
I had popcorn popped on thestove one night and what did I
have
Jim (14:27):
Half a stick of butter melted into it.
Ben (14:29):
Nope.
It was, some olive oil spray.
Nice.
Which was actually really
Jim (14:35):
good.
Look at
Ben (14:36):
Yeah.
And then last night I had apopsicle, like a Organicy
Popsicle something or other.
Jim (14:44):
So we just found online for like a hundred bucks.
We got an old elliptical thatsomebody was getting rid of.
And that's something that I can,you know, put the iPad on the
screen and watch a show while Ican do it and watch a 20 minute
show.
Just 20 minutes a day, do itwhile you're watching a show and
you can get that exercise in,remove some of those barriers.
(15:06):
Doing something where you'regetting to do something that you
enjoy, whether it's a podcast orwatching a show or something
like that.
I really like that mentality ofjust doing a little bit more
than you're doing
Ben (15:18):
Doing
Jim (15:18):
right?
So if you're not doing anythingand you just go for a 10 minute
walk, That's more exercise thanyou were doing before you're
making progress.
I have found the older I get,I'm, I'm sick of dieting.
I know that sometimes you needto, but what if I just make
(15:38):
lifestyle choices that I don'tever have to diet again, because
I have made life choices where Idon't allow myself to get to the
point where I need to dietagain.
Right.
That's where I'm trying to getsome of you were already there.
Pat yourself on the back.
Ben and I are working on it.
Ben (15:57):
Yup.
Yup.
Jim (15:59):
What do you think about, I mean, do you kind of try to
adopt a similar philosophy?
Ben (16:03):
Definitely.
I'm in a phase now where Irealized that just to get to the
short term goals that I have, Ineed to move quickly.
And so I'm moving quickly andlosing weight quickly.
Yup.
All with this understanding thatthis is not how it's going to be
long term.
This is a.
(16:24):
A kickstart, this is the rocketfuel that I need to leave the
orbit of my current habits andcurrent way of life.
This isn't how it's going to beforever, but I need this kick in
the pants to get out of what I'mdoing that I've been stuck in
for so long.
So I'm, I'm getting out of thatorbit that I've been in for the
(16:46):
better part of 10 years.
And it is pretty intense, butit's not always going to be this
intensity.
And when I am out of this rut,then it'll be more of a
maintenance mode.
And with that maintenance mode,some of the things that I've
learned in this hardcore phaseI'll carry with me.
(17:08):
It's definitely thinking aboutthis from the long game, not
just the short term.
Jim (17:14):
One last thing I wanted to ask you, I'm curious, mental
health and physical health forme are often really intimately
tied together.
And the worst that I'm doingmentally tends to be the worst
that I'm doing physically.
And that sort of is acompounding issue when it comes
to that.
Talk to me a little bit abouthow you've seen that change in
(17:35):
you as you have had some ofthese milestones along the way
where I don't have to take thismedication anymore or I've been
taking better care of myself andnow I don't have that or
sometimes it is getting theright medication like it finally
getting the CPAP machine so thatI can get a better night's
sleep.
How has that had an impact onyou mentally in this journey
(17:55):
that you've had medically?
Ben (17:57):
For as committed as I am to my mental health, there were a
few things that I was very muchstuck in.
And one of them was this senseof bitterness and, resentment
towards certain people in mylife.
And it was just holding mecaptive.
there was this sense ofunforgiveness and one of my
(18:21):
friends really challenged me to,to work on that.
And I told them, well, I'll,I'll work on that once I figure
out all of this physical stuffthat I have going on, because
that's my focus right now.
I don't have time to sit downand work through the resentment
(18:41):
and the, the mental piece of it.
I can't.
He challenged me, like, no, Idon't think you're gonna make
any progress until you sit withthis other stuff and really
figure it out.
And then he challenged me tolisten to this audio book on
forgiveness.
I honestly was annoyed becauseI'm like, you're not getting it.
(19:05):
I'm telling you, I need tofigure this physical stuff out
first, then I'll figure out therest.
Then I'll deal with all of theresentment that I have and the
bitterness and the unforgivenessand everything else.
just let me figure out thisphysical stuff.
But he wasn't giving up.
whatever, I'll, I'll listen tothe audio book.
(19:27):
Fine.
And he challenged me to listento the first chapter.
So I did.
I ended up listening to thewhole book because it was just
so good.
And I found so much freedom inwhat was being talked about.
it's called the book onforgiving and it's by Desmond
(19:48):
Tutu.
It wrecked me in the best waypossible, and it's just helped
me see that so much of thePhysical struggle that I've been
facing.
Desmond talks at length abouthow those who hold on to
resentment, it's like poison andit shows itself in inflammation
(20:12):
throughout the body.
I have had inflammation all overmy body, like the gout, the
arthritis, the so many differentthings.
There's just been so many Thingsso many different ways that
that's been showing up in mybody and it was this
unmistakable Connection as Iwalked and listened to this
(20:38):
book.
Ouch, ouch.
Yep.
Okay.
Got it.
I Understand and it just becameso clear to me in those moments
that maybe the work really isOne of forgiveness and maybe the
work really does begin in myhead and maybe it really is a
(21:02):
deeply connected thing ofletting go of those, broken hurt
feelings so that it can impactmy physical health in ways that
I perhaps didn't think it could.
So that's my answer.
Jim (21:19):
You holding on to some of those things has a mental
weight, but it can give you aphysical weight to, you know,
pun intended there that canspend so much time focused on
what others have that you don'tor how other people that have
hurt you.
That you're hurting your ownhealth and it's not helping
(21:41):
anything.
It's actually making thingsworse for you.
So if you can let those thingsgo, you're going to be in a
healthier place.
Ben (21:50):
Absolutely.
Jim (21:51):
Thanks so much for listening to our show today.
We're excited to be back on theairwaves and talking to you
really appreciate that you havebeen dedicated listeners to our
podcast.
This is your first time.
Thanks so much for being here.
We hope that you listen nexttime.
Ben (22:07):
Thanks for listening to Real Men Hug.
See you next time.
And remember, Real Men Hug, andthey also recognize When their
friends are right, and theylisten to the silly audiobooks,
even when they really don't wantto.
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