October 10, 2025 • 17 mins
Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships, business partnerships, and friendships. In this video, Money Coach Lisa Chastain explains why different money personalities clash, and shares practical tips to understand, communicate, and thrive with your differences.
📝 Take the FREE Money Personality Quiz: https://lisachastain.com/quiz/🔎 Dive deeper into each personality in the Course: https://lisachastain.com/money-personality/📘 Get the book *Stop Budgeting, Start Living*👉 Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Budgeting-%20Start-Living-Transform/dp/B0DJKXX37N👉 Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/Stop-Budgeting-Start-Living-Audiobook/B0F2591G1YFind and follow Lisa Chastain:Website: https://lisachastain.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/savvymoneywithlisa/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/savvymoneywithlisa
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
What happens when you have two people who come from entirely
different backgrounds and who have entirely different
preferences when it comes to money?
Well, typically they get married, they start a business
together, or they have kids together and here we go.
The real reason that we have clashes when it comes to our
personal finances and it has nothing to do with a budget.
(00:22):
Today we're going to talk about different scenarios where we
have different money personalities in relationship.
The truth is you think think that everybody's like you when
it comes to money and we have a lot of financial experts out
there who think that everybody should be just like them and it
just doesn't work that way because of these money
personalities. Also, like I talked about in my
(00:43):
new book, Stop Budgeting, Start Living, there are different
financial set points that peoplehave.
Some of you were born in worlds of abundance.
You never had to worry about money.
Your needs were taken care of. You had your needs and wants
always given to you. Many of you also grew up in a
world of scarcity where you didn't even know where your next
meal was coming from. You watched your parents work
(01:05):
really, really hard for what they have.
And guess what happens? You end up marrying each other.
And then you put a budget on topof that.
And you think that the budget isgoing to be the solution to your
financial life and it just isn't.
So 3 scenarios we're going to talk about today, why those
money personalities clash and you're going to learn a lot
about yourself and other people.So let's get started.
(01:26):
First, let's talk about what themoney personalities are.
The money personalities, the ones that I use today, were
created by Robin Crane. You can look her up
robincrane.com. And she helped me understand
that these money personalities really influence the way that we
make decisions when it comes to our money.
So there are five in my world, Dreamer, Saver, Giver, spender,
(01:49):
and Avoider, and each of them have different beliefs and
behaviors when it comes to money.
Did you know that right now? Actually, if you're curious
about what your money personality is, go to
lisachastain.com/quiz and take the money personality and then
you can follow along. You'll know what your money
personality is. All right, back to business in a
(02:10):
couple situation. I see this over and over again
that opposites attract. So we have dreamer, saver,
giver, spender, avoider, and a lot of times I have my spenders
who attract savers and vice versa.
While our spender money personality are people who love
to spend money, spending money makes them feel abundant.
In the world of personal finance, spenders have gotten a
(02:32):
really bad rap and they're the ones that are getting shamed
over and over again. Listen, there's nothing wrong
with spending. Our entire economy is built and
founded on people spending money.
And if you think that it's just women spending money, you're
wrong. We all have different money
personalities, and I see just asmany spender money personalities
as I do saver money personalities.
(02:54):
So what happens when a saver marries A spender?
Saver money personalities tend to come from scarcity.
Guess what? It's not just about saving money
all the time. These are people who perhaps
were raised in a lot of financial scarcity and they
operate from scarcity, which also means that savers tend to
operate from a not enough conversation.
(03:15):
And if you're operating from a place of not enough or fear or
scarcity, you're going to be creating that all over your
life. Also, our saver clients tend to
overanalyze the shit out of finances.
They wait before making decisions, They research before
making decisions. That's a DIF.
There's behaviors, researching, waiting, analyzing.
(03:35):
There's also the belief system that goes behind that, and
typically what I see with my Saber clients is that they were
born from a mindset of fear and scarcity when it comes to money.
Spenders are people who were their financial set points.
A lot of times are our abundancemovement, freedom they value,
that's important to them, and spending money does not trigger
(03:57):
them like savers. So these two people get married,
a saver marries A spender, and this happens all across the
board in the different money personalities.
But we're going to use these tworight now because they're
complete opposites. So a saver marries A spender,
and all of a sudden the saver wants to research and analyze
and have a budget in place and control the spender because
(04:20):
spending freaks them out. Listen, this does not work in
relationships. A lot of times when people get
to me in my office, I've got thesaver who's in breakdown, who's
really frustrated, who's trying to control the spender and
teaching them how to budget, andthe spender wants nothing to do
with it. My husband's a spender.
(04:40):
Not spending money is not an option for a spender.
Their value system is connected to movement and freedom.
These are people who think abundantly.
You'll hear them say things likeI'll always go out and make more
money. Making money is a strength of a
spender. Typically savers are good at
analyzing, but they don't alwaysdo a great job of sales.
(05:03):
They don't do a great job of making more money.
They don't do a great job of negotiating.
A lot of times very different kinds of of people and then
where they're married, all of a sudden the saver wants to hold
the spender back, the spender wants more freedom, and then all
you're due is fighting about values and preferences.
A budget is only going to make this worse.
(05:23):
So if you're a saver and your partner's a spender or vice
versa, here's some things that Iwant you to think about in this
moment. Today, spenders realize that
spending money triggers your partner's nervous system.
There is something about the waythat they make decisions where
they might need more time, they might need more research.
(05:43):
So you have to realize that thisis a part of their anatomy.
It's not going to change. But also you can do some things
to help them and encourage them in making decisions.
And one of those things is asking really powerful
questions. Ask your saver partner, ask your
saver significant other, hey, how does this make you feel
before I do it? Are you going to be OK with it?
(06:06):
And what do you need to know? That's another one.
What do you need to know before I make this decision?
Now the beauty in that spenders is it's going to slow you down
long enough to think through thedecision and have an open,
honest conversation. Now you spending money is going
to trigger more than likely yoursaver money personality that
you're in relationship with. But if you have clarity on your
(06:28):
numbers, another tip that I would suggest is to learn how to
forecast financially spenders. When you can forecast
financially and the saver can plug in and see the impact of
your decisions, it's going to make things smoother over time.
I teach this in my stop budgeting course.
You can go to lisachastain.com find the course is there if you
want to learn how to financiallyforecast.
(06:49):
This is going to help both of your relationships, which is a
much different way of looking atyour money ahead of time versus
just trying to control what is. So savers and spenders just
realize that you're very different.
It's going to look and feel differently.
Take the money personality quiz,start having new conversations
when it comes to money. Here's a second scenario, when
money meets business partnerships.
(07:11):
Again, the opposites attract. And it's very likely that if
you're in a business partnership, sometimes you can
attract people who are just likeyou, which isn't really good
either because then you have groupthink that isn't supportive
and you're all thinking the same, you're all operating the
same. There are a lot of blind spots
that come with that right now. What I want to talk about
actually is why 2 smart people build a business together.
(07:32):
One who wants to reinvest everything in the business and
the other who just wants to stack cash.
I've had this before in businesspartnerships.
One's a huge dreamer, the other is saver, and they're like oil
and water. One partner dreams big, wants to
go big, has no problem with accumulating debt to grow the
business as long as they can understand the ROI that goes
(07:53):
with it. The other one is like a
squirrel, save, save, save, save, save, cut back, cut back,
cut back, cut back. No, no, no, just slash expenses.
And these can be really tough relationships to be in because
they're set points. The way that they're operating,
the way that they see the world is so different.
This is a huge clash in business.
For one's a huge dreamer. Guess what?
That's typically your CEO and then another one's a huge saver
(08:17):
or avoider. We have a lot of people who
avoid finances, which is really interesting, and a lot of them
can be CF OS because they don't like emotional relationships.
They don't want to talk about emotions, they want to talk
about numbers. But here's the thing, no matter
what your money personality is, your relationship with money is
almost entirely emotional. It doesn't matter if you're a
(08:40):
saver, dreamer, spender, avoideror giver, you are operating out
of a emotional reasons. Financially.
The savers, the avoiders, the CFOS want to lock all of that away
and just look at numbers, just look at the PNL.
But you can't operate business that way because every single
one of you, if you're in business, you have a why.
(09:01):
Why this matters, why this is important.
And our big dreamers, they're risky.
They have a high tolerance for risk.
They're always about building a bigger plate, and that can be in
direct conflict with someone's scarcity conversation or someone
sitting safely behind the numbers.
So which one are you? The dreamer who dreams big,
(09:21):
thinks big, risks big, also maybe has a couple bankruptcies
under their belt because of that.
Or are you the saver who wants to squirrel all of the money
away? But here's the thing, you can't
grow a business just squirrelingmoney away.
You're going to have to take some risks.
The two of you can come togetherand balance each other's
approach, but it's going to takework for you to get there.
So take the money personality quiz.
(09:42):
Start there. Who are you?
And ask this question, Why? Why am I the way that I am?
Where did that come from? What do I believe?
Is it a belief or is it a fact? Most of the time they're just
beliefs. You can work on those things
together. You can create balance and
harmony in the relationship. I'm going to leave you with that
for now. Third scenario, when it comes to
(10:03):
money personalities and how theyclash.
Have you ever had that awkward moment when the check comes and
then suddenly the friendship feels off?
Why is that? Maybe one of you always pays
Hello giver money personality. Maybe one of you never pays and
you just kind of skirt by That'snot necessarily the giver or the
(10:23):
spender money personality, but it could be any other money
personality. Right now, in this moment, we're
going to talk about the giver versus the saver.
Now saver, you might think through this video that I'm
picking on you and in some ways I am because in the personal
finance industry, the saver has gotten the accolades.
The saver is the one that all the personal financial experts
(10:44):
are championing. Caleb Hammer, Dave Ramsey, Susie
Orman. But The thing is that there's a
lot of dis, ease and discomfort that shows up when it comes to
the saver. A lot of judgement.
It's not that you're doing things wrong necessarily, it's
just that you've got to know there are these different money
personalities. It's actually I'm going to talk
about all five of the money personalities right now.
I think that would be way more fun.
(11:04):
Here's how the money personalities show up at a table
and how they clash. The spender is the one at the
table that's ordering for everyone, ordering shots for
everyone. They're not even thinking about
it, and the bill just keeps racking up.
The spender is the one that orders the second or third
bottle of wine for the table andbehind the scenes everyone else
is like oh. I wasn't planning on that.
(11:26):
But the spenders like no problem.
It's just going to figure itself.
Out who can relate to that? And then on the other side,
probably next to the spender, you've got the giver who's like.
Whatever you think, I'm going togo along with whatever you want
to do. Even though I only have 10 bucks
in my account right now. I don't know exactly how I'm
going to how I'm going to pay for this, but I'm going to go
along with it. I'm not going to rock the boat.
(11:48):
I'm going to put my knee. Besides, even if I'm vegetarian,
I'm going to let them order steak and tell them no big deal,
it's OK. Because givers give away their
power and being dramatic for purpose, right?
But the giver money, personality, you know who you
are. You're watching this with
friends right now. You're laughing because you're
like, Oh my God, that's totally who I am.
You show up with gifts for everyone.
You don't even know how you're going to pay rent tomorrow, but
(12:10):
this is how it shows up at tableat dinner with everybody.
Then you're like you're stressing out about it, but
you're not going to tell anybodybecause you just want to be
supportive in the moment and have a good time.
I'm going to go through all the money personalities, by the way.
So make sure that you stay with me here.
And if you want to know your money personality, go to
lisachastain.com/quiz. This is a great conversation
starter for girls. Night out.
OK, so then you have there's thespender who's ordering like
(12:31):
crazy, who doesn't care who's inthe moment, who's ordering the
VUV or the Dom Perignon for everyone.
They're like, Oh my God, how arewe going to afford this?
Then you have the giver who's just going along with it.
It's going to support everybody,going to put their needs aside.
And then you have the saver. Who's like, well that's fine,
but I'm not paying for anything but mine.
So the savers on the corner right there, they have their
(12:51):
phone out calculating as things are being ordered what it is
that they're ordering and what they have money for.
So they sit down even before they order and they have the
menu out and then they have their calculator and they're
calculating in their head to thedime exactly how much they have.
So they order the appetizer instead of the meal because they
don't want to overspend. And even if they have $2,000,000
(13:14):
in the bank, because they probably do, they're ordering
dinner based on the $15 appetizer because it's smaller
and they're probably not even going to tip.
They're going to let other people handle that.
OK, that's saver. And then we have the avoider
who's just not there because they're at home taking a bath.
They're not even showing up. They're running from their
problems. Or they're on the opposite side,
(13:36):
the avoiders with the spender over there who's just like
ordering everything and they're like I'll put on.
My credit card and figure it out.
Later. And so then finally we have the
dreamer. The dreamer is feeding into all
of this, but really is talking to people about their dreams and
their goals, and they're probably talking about how
successful they are even though they don't have a whole lot of
money in the bank. And so they're going to order
(13:57):
the most expensive thing on the menu just to impress their
friends, not necessarily becauseit's even something that they
want, but they want people to think that they're successful.
So they're going to spend their money on that.
Totally different reasons and totally different ways of being
at the table based on the money personalities.
You're starting to get this right.
So then the check comes. What happens when the check
(14:18):
comes? It sits in the middle of the
table. The giver's terrified because
they're afraid they're going to get stuck with the bill.
So it's between the giver and the spender in the moment about
who's going to pay the bill. The avoider is not there,
remember? So they're checked out.
And then you have the cheap chipwho has $20 in their wallet and
puts the $20 out. So what happens when the check
(14:40):
comes? The giver pulls out their credit
card, The spender pulls out their credit card and they they
decide to split it. But then the spender says, hey,
I got this. Or the dreamer says, hey, I got
this. They put it all on their credit
card. They pay the bill.
They go on to what's next in theevening.
Now behind the scenes, the cheapchip is like.
I only paid what I paid. But the spender is resentful of
(15:03):
the saver because the saver didn't pay for more than what
they ordered. Savers good with that.
The giver is resentful because the giver wanted to pay for
everyone but knew they couldn't afford to, so they let someone
else handle the bill. And then the dreamer chips in,
puts their Amex down on the table, and pays for everyone.
But then the dreamer spends the whole week trying to collect
(15:24):
funds and no one else pays, no one else pitches in, and barely
anybody tipped. Scenario that could go anyway.
But when it comes to our money personalities in full force,
this is exactly what shows up inall of the money personalities.
And if you're not careful, you're judging other people
based on who you are and it doesn't work.
(15:44):
So in this video, you've had three different examples of
different money personalities, how they show up in
relationships and how they clash.
The number one thing I would recommend that you do right
here, right now is 1 Realize that not everybody's the same.
2. Get to know your own money
personality first and make sure that you have systems in support
of the way that you work best. And be mindful of the fact that
(16:07):
there are things that you do, nomatter what money personality
you are, that don't support you,that don't serve you, and it's
time for a new way of being whenit comes to money.
Third thing is learn money systems and strategies that work
for each money personality best.For example, in my household, my
spender husband gets a spending account every single week.
Money goes into that account. I'm not going to force my
(16:29):
husband to not spend money. It'll never work anyway.
And in my money personality course, which is on my website,
you can take the money personality, you can get to know
your individual money personality, and then you can
get to know the other money personalities, the strengths and
weaknesses of each of them. It's a great start for
understanding and appreciating everyone for who they are and
(16:50):
realizing that a budget probablyworks for none of these money
personalities. Best.
I'm Lisa Chastain, I'm a personal money coach, mentor,
and author, and I'm on a missionfor people to take control of
their lives financially without budgeting.
If you liked this video, make sure that you subscribe, send it
to someone that you know would appreciate this conversation
(17:11):
too. And I'll see you right here on
the next conversation when it comes to money awareness,
relationships with money, and what you can do to heal your
relationship with money so that you can live your best life.
You can stop budgeting and you can start living.
I'll see you next time.
What happens when you have two people who come from entirely
different backgrounds and who have entirely different
preferences when it comes to money?
Well, typically they get married, they start a business
together, or they have kids together and here we go.
The real reason that we have clashes when it comes to our
personal finances and it has nothing to do with a budget.
(00:22):
Today we're going to talk about different scenarios where we
have different money personalities in relationship.
The truth is you think think that everybody's like you when
it comes to money and we have a lot of financial experts out
there who think that everybody should be just like them and it
just doesn't work that way because of these money
personalities. Also, like I talked about in my
(00:43):
new book, Stop Budgeting, Start Living, there are different
financial set points that peoplehave.
Some of you were born in worlds of abundance.
You never had to worry about money.
Your needs were taken care of. You had your needs and wants
always given to you. Many of you also grew up in a
world of scarcity where you didn't even know where your next
meal was coming from. You watched your parents work
(01:05):
really, really hard for what they have.
And guess what happens? You end up marrying each other.
And then you put a budget on topof that.
And you think that the budget isgoing to be the solution to your
financial life and it just isn't.
So 3 scenarios we're going to talk about today, why those
money personalities clash and you're going to learn a lot
about yourself and other people.So let's get started.
(01:26):
First, let's talk about what themoney personalities are.
The money personalities, the ones that I use today, were
created by Robin Crane. You can look her up
robincrane.com. And she helped me understand
that these money personalities really influence the way that we
make decisions when it comes to our money.
So there are five in my world, Dreamer, Saver, Giver, spender,
(01:49):
and Avoider, and each of them have different beliefs and
behaviors when it comes to money.
Did you know that right now? Actually, if you're curious
about what your money personality is, go to
lisachastain.com/quiz and take the money personality and then
you can follow along. You'll know what your money
personality is. All right, back to business in a
(02:10):
couple situation. I see this over and over again
that opposites attract. So we have dreamer, saver,
giver, spender, avoider, and a lot of times I have my spenders
who attract savers and vice versa.
While our spender money personality are people who love
to spend money, spending money makes them feel abundant.
In the world of personal finance, spenders have gotten a
(02:32):
really bad rap and they're the ones that are getting shamed
over and over again. Listen, there's nothing wrong
with spending. Our entire economy is built and
founded on people spending money.
And if you think that it's just women spending money, you're
wrong. We all have different money
personalities, and I see just asmany spender money personalities
as I do saver money personalities.
(02:54):
So what happens when a saver marries A spender?
Saver money personalities tend to come from scarcity.
Guess what? It's not just about saving money
all the time. These are people who perhaps
were raised in a lot of financial scarcity and they
operate from scarcity, which also means that savers tend to
operate from a not enough conversation.
(03:15):
And if you're operating from a place of not enough or fear or
scarcity, you're going to be creating that all over your
life. Also, our saver clients tend to
overanalyze the shit out of finances.
They wait before making decisions, They research before
making decisions. That's a DIF.
There's behaviors, researching, waiting, analyzing.
(03:35):
There's also the belief system that goes behind that, and
typically what I see with my Saber clients is that they were
born from a mindset of fear and scarcity when it comes to money.
Spenders are people who were their financial set points.
A lot of times are our abundancemovement, freedom they value,
that's important to them, and spending money does not trigger
(03:57):
them like savers. So these two people get married,
a saver marries A spender, and this happens all across the
board in the different money personalities.
But we're going to use these tworight now because they're
complete opposites. So a saver marries A spender,
and all of a sudden the saver wants to research and analyze
and have a budget in place and control the spender because
(04:20):
spending freaks them out. Listen, this does not work in
relationships. A lot of times when people get
to me in my office, I've got thesaver who's in breakdown, who's
really frustrated, who's trying to control the spender and
teaching them how to budget, andthe spender wants nothing to do
with it. My husband's a spender.
(04:40):
Not spending money is not an option for a spender.
Their value system is connected to movement and freedom.
These are people who think abundantly.
You'll hear them say things likeI'll always go out and make more
money. Making money is a strength of a
spender. Typically savers are good at
analyzing, but they don't alwaysdo a great job of sales.
(05:03):
They don't do a great job of making more money.
They don't do a great job of negotiating.
A lot of times very different kinds of of people and then
where they're married, all of a sudden the saver wants to hold
the spender back, the spender wants more freedom, and then all
you're due is fighting about values and preferences.
A budget is only going to make this worse.
(05:23):
So if you're a saver and your partner's a spender or vice
versa, here's some things that Iwant you to think about in this
moment. Today, spenders realize that
spending money triggers your partner's nervous system.
There is something about the waythat they make decisions where
they might need more time, they might need more research.
(05:43):
So you have to realize that thisis a part of their anatomy.
It's not going to change. But also you can do some things
to help them and encourage them in making decisions.
And one of those things is asking really powerful
questions. Ask your saver partner, ask your
saver significant other, hey, how does this make you feel
before I do it? Are you going to be OK with it?
(06:06):
And what do you need to know? That's another one.
What do you need to know before I make this decision?
Now the beauty in that spenders is it's going to slow you down
long enough to think through thedecision and have an open,
honest conversation. Now you spending money is going
to trigger more than likely yoursaver money personality that
you're in relationship with. But if you have clarity on your
(06:28):
numbers, another tip that I would suggest is to learn how to
forecast financially spenders. When you can forecast
financially and the saver can plug in and see the impact of
your decisions, it's going to make things smoother over time.
I teach this in my stop budgeting course.
You can go to lisachastain.com find the course is there if you
want to learn how to financiallyforecast.
(06:49):
This is going to help both of your relationships, which is a
much different way of looking atyour money ahead of time versus
just trying to control what is. So savers and spenders just
realize that you're very different.
It's going to look and feel differently.
Take the money personality quiz,start having new conversations
when it comes to money. Here's a second scenario, when
money meets business partnerships.
(07:11):
Again, the opposites attract. And it's very likely that if
you're in a business partnership, sometimes you can
attract people who are just likeyou, which isn't really good
either because then you have groupthink that isn't supportive
and you're all thinking the same, you're all operating the
same. There are a lot of blind spots
that come with that right now. What I want to talk about
actually is why 2 smart people build a business together.
(07:32):
One who wants to reinvest everything in the business and
the other who just wants to stack cash.
I've had this before in businesspartnerships.
One's a huge dreamer, the other is saver, and they're like oil
and water. One partner dreams big, wants to
go big, has no problem with accumulating debt to grow the
business as long as they can understand the ROI that goes
(07:53):
with it. The other one is like a
squirrel, save, save, save, save, save, cut back, cut back,
cut back, cut back. No, no, no, just slash expenses.
And these can be really tough relationships to be in because
they're set points. The way that they're operating,
the way that they see the world is so different.
This is a huge clash in business.
For one's a huge dreamer. Guess what?
That's typically your CEO and then another one's a huge saver
(08:17):
or avoider. We have a lot of people who
avoid finances, which is really interesting, and a lot of them
can be CF OS because they don't like emotional relationships.
They don't want to talk about emotions, they want to talk
about numbers. But here's the thing, no matter
what your money personality is, your relationship with money is
almost entirely emotional. It doesn't matter if you're a
(08:40):
saver, dreamer, spender, avoideror giver, you are operating out
of a emotional reasons. Financially.
The savers, the avoiders, the CFOS want to lock all of that away
and just look at numbers, just look at the PNL.
But you can't operate business that way because every single
one of you, if you're in business, you have a why.
(09:01):
Why this matters, why this is important.
And our big dreamers, they're risky.
They have a high tolerance for risk.
They're always about building a bigger plate, and that can be in
direct conflict with someone's scarcity conversation or someone
sitting safely behind the numbers.
So which one are you? The dreamer who dreams big,
(09:21):
thinks big, risks big, also maybe has a couple bankruptcies
under their belt because of that.
Or are you the saver who wants to squirrel all of the money
away? But here's the thing, you can't
grow a business just squirrelingmoney away.
You're going to have to take some risks.
The two of you can come togetherand balance each other's
approach, but it's going to takework for you to get there.
So take the money personality quiz.
(09:42):
Start there. Who are you?
And ask this question, Why? Why am I the way that I am?
Where did that come from? What do I believe?
Is it a belief or is it a fact? Most of the time they're just
beliefs. You can work on those things
together. You can create balance and
harmony in the relationship. I'm going to leave you with that
for now. Third scenario, when it comes to
(10:03):
money personalities and how theyclash.
Have you ever had that awkward moment when the check comes and
then suddenly the friendship feels off?
Why is that? Maybe one of you always pays
Hello giver money personality. Maybe one of you never pays and
you just kind of skirt by That'snot necessarily the giver or the
(10:23):
spender money personality, but it could be any other money
personality. Right now, in this moment, we're
going to talk about the giver versus the saver.
Now saver, you might think through this video that I'm
picking on you and in some ways I am because in the personal
finance industry, the saver has gotten the accolades.
The saver is the one that all the personal financial experts
(10:44):
are championing. Caleb Hammer, Dave Ramsey, Susie
Orman. But The thing is that there's a
lot of dis, ease and discomfort that shows up when it comes to
the saver. A lot of judgement.
It's not that you're doing things wrong necessarily, it's
just that you've got to know there are these different money
personalities. It's actually I'm going to talk
about all five of the money personalities right now.
I think that would be way more fun.
(11:04):
Here's how the money personalities show up at a table
and how they clash. The spender is the one at the
table that's ordering for everyone, ordering shots for
everyone. They're not even thinking about
it, and the bill just keeps racking up.
The spender is the one that orders the second or third
bottle of wine for the table andbehind the scenes everyone else
is like oh. I wasn't planning on that.
(11:26):
But the spenders like no problem.
It's just going to figure itself.
Out who can relate to that? And then on the other side,
probably next to the spender, you've got the giver who's like.
Whatever you think, I'm going togo along with whatever you want
to do. Even though I only have 10 bucks
in my account right now. I don't know exactly how I'm
going to how I'm going to pay for this, but I'm going to go
along with it. I'm not going to rock the boat.
(11:48):
I'm going to put my knee. Besides, even if I'm vegetarian,
I'm going to let them order steak and tell them no big deal,
it's OK. Because givers give away their
power and being dramatic for purpose, right?
But the giver money, personality, you know who you
are. You're watching this with
friends right now. You're laughing because you're
like, Oh my God, that's totally who I am.
You show up with gifts for everyone.
You don't even know how you're going to pay rent tomorrow, but
(12:10):
this is how it shows up at tableat dinner with everybody.
Then you're like you're stressing out about it, but
you're not going to tell anybodybecause you just want to be
supportive in the moment and have a good time.
I'm going to go through all the money personalities, by the way.
So make sure that you stay with me here.
And if you want to know your money personality, go to
lisachastain.com/quiz. This is a great conversation
starter for girls. Night out.
OK, so then you have there's thespender who's ordering like
(12:31):
crazy, who doesn't care who's inthe moment, who's ordering the
VUV or the Dom Perignon for everyone.
They're like, Oh my God, how arewe going to afford this?
Then you have the giver who's just going along with it.
It's going to support everybody,going to put their needs aside.
And then you have the saver. Who's like, well that's fine,
but I'm not paying for anything but mine.
So the savers on the corner right there, they have their
(12:51):
phone out calculating as things are being ordered what it is
that they're ordering and what they have money for.
So they sit down even before they order and they have the
menu out and then they have their calculator and they're
calculating in their head to thedime exactly how much they have.
So they order the appetizer instead of the meal because they
don't want to overspend. And even if they have $2,000,000
(13:14):
in the bank, because they probably do, they're ordering
dinner based on the $15 appetizer because it's smaller
and they're probably not even going to tip.
They're going to let other people handle that.
OK, that's saver. And then we have the avoider
who's just not there because they're at home taking a bath.
They're not even showing up. They're running from their
problems. Or they're on the opposite side,
(13:36):
the avoiders with the spender over there who's just like
ordering everything and they're like I'll put on.
My credit card and figure it out.
Later. And so then finally we have the
dreamer. The dreamer is feeding into all
of this, but really is talking to people about their dreams and
their goals, and they're probably talking about how
successful they are even though they don't have a whole lot of
money in the bank. And so they're going to order
(13:57):
the most expensive thing on the menu just to impress their
friends, not necessarily becauseit's even something that they
want, but they want people to think that they're successful.
So they're going to spend their money on that.
Totally different reasons and totally different ways of being
at the table based on the money personalities.
You're starting to get this right.
So then the check comes. What happens when the check
(14:18):
comes? It sits in the middle of the
table. The giver's terrified because
they're afraid they're going to get stuck with the bill.
So it's between the giver and the spender in the moment about
who's going to pay the bill. The avoider is not there,
remember? So they're checked out.
And then you have the cheap chipwho has $20 in their wallet and
puts the $20 out. So what happens when the check
(14:40):
comes? The giver pulls out their credit
card, The spender pulls out their credit card and they they
decide to split it. But then the spender says, hey,
I got this. Or the dreamer says, hey, I got
this. They put it all on their credit
card. They pay the bill.
They go on to what's next in theevening.
Now behind the scenes, the cheapchip is like.
I only paid what I paid. But the spender is resentful of
(15:03):
the saver because the saver didn't pay for more than what
they ordered. Savers good with that.
The giver is resentful because the giver wanted to pay for
everyone but knew they couldn't afford to, so they let someone
else handle the bill. And then the dreamer chips in,
puts their Amex down on the table, and pays for everyone.
But then the dreamer spends the whole week trying to collect
(15:24):
funds and no one else pays, no one else pitches in, and barely
anybody tipped. Scenario that could go anyway.
But when it comes to our money personalities in full force,
this is exactly what shows up inall of the money personalities.
And if you're not careful, you're judging other people
based on who you are and it doesn't work.
(15:44):
So in this video, you've had three different examples of
different money personalities, how they show up in
relationships and how they clash.
The number one thing I would recommend that you do right
here, right now is 1 Realize that not everybody's the same.
2. Get to know your own money
personality first and make sure that you have systems in support
of the way that you work best. And be mindful of the fact that
(16:07):
there are things that you do, nomatter what money personality
you are, that don't support you,that don't serve you, and it's
time for a new way of being whenit comes to money.
Third thing is learn money systems and strategies that work
for each money personality best.For example, in my household, my
spender husband gets a spending account every single week.
Money goes into that account. I'm not going to force my
(16:29):
husband to not spend money. It'll never work anyway.
And in my money personality course, which is on my website,
you can take the money personality, you can get to know
your individual money personality, and then you can
get to know the other money personalities, the strengths and
weaknesses of each of them. It's a great start for
understanding and appreciating everyone for who they are and
(16:50):
realizing that a budget probablyworks for none of these money
personalities. Best.
I'm Lisa Chastain, I'm a personal money coach, mentor,
and author, and I'm on a missionfor people to take control of
their lives financially without budgeting.
If you liked this video, make sure that you subscribe, send it
to someone that you know would appreciate this conversation
(17:11):
too. And I'll see you right here on
the next conversation when it comes to money awareness,
relationships with money, and what you can do to heal your
relationship with money so that you can live your best life.
You can stop budgeting and you can start living.
I'll see you next time.
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