May 13, 2025 • 25 mins
What happens when societal expectations clash with individual authenticity? Matt, a talented photographer who navigates life with high-functioning Asperger's, reveals the answer through his powerful story of resilience and creativity. We journey through his formative years, where humor and mimicry became survival tools in a world hesitant to embrace his unique artistic talents. Matt challenges us to rethink the conventional definitions of success and encourages listeners to embrace adaptability and the power of controlling what they can.
Social media’s impact on mental health and success perception is undeniable. Through Matt's experiences, we unpack how these platforms can skew reality, particularly for younger generations. He offers a refreshing perspective on personal fulfillment, urging us to measure success not by followers or likes but by the genuine connections we make and the lives we touch. This exploration is a call to focus on small blessings and the hard work that often goes unnoticed behind the scenes of social media glitz.
Matt's journey is nothing short of inspirational, marked by profound resilience and unwavering faith. From discovering his passion for photography to overcoming a life-altering health crisis that left him wheelchair-bound for five years, his story is a testament to the power of perseverance. Anchored by his faith and the steadfast support of his wife, Matt emerges as a beacon of hope for anyone facing adversity. We explore the humor and determination that have been pivotal in his path to recovery, highlighting the importance of self-reliance and finding silver linings amidst challenges.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Real People, real Life, where
everyday conversations lead toextraordinary insights.
We're all about digging intothe lives of regular people
who've achieved success on theirown terms, from business and
entrepreneurship to fitness,politics, education and beyond
(00:23):
we cover it all.
This is Real People, real Life.
Politics, education and beyondwe cover it all.
This is Real People, real Life.
And now your host, ryan.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Sherow.
All right, matt.
Well, I appreciate you comingout joining us on the podcast.
I got your submission and itwas interesting.
There's some things in there Ididn't even know about.
You describe yourself as aneuro divergent.
Explain that.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Basically a neuro divergent means I'm on the
autism spectrum, I have a highfunctioning.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Asperger's.
So walk me through your story.
You talk about some trauma andsome things that you went
through being neurodivergent andhow that has affected your life
today.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
And growing up like I grew up in California but still
my family mental health in bothcultures is not a thing and in
the 90s, you know, much less so.
So I had to adapt.
You know my mother, she meantwell but in the end she had her
(01:41):
own trauma that she couldn'tquite get through and she kind
of passed the torch on to me.
So a lot of my artistic skillsI had to suppress.
You know, through high school,especially when I first became a
writer, I was talked out ofbeing one and it screwed me up
for a good while With my form ofAsperger's.
I need even numbers.
So if you give me like threecandy bars I'll only eat two,
which really screws with mebecause I like food.
You know, In terms of me being aphotographer, always have to
(02:04):
have like an even amount ofshots and let me tell you how
nuts that's driven me over thelast 10 years.
Um, so growing up, you knowlong and short of it is.
I learned to be a streetfighter, so I can pass for
neurotypical, which means I canpass for someone who is not
autistic a lot of the timebecause I had to survive like
90s was such a harsh landscapefor everybody, but Nerd
(02:25):
Divergence in particular.
It was difficult.
Again, like I said, I had tohide a lot of who I was, and I
didn't find out a lot of who Iwas until after, well into my
late 20s, early 30s.
I'm in my mid 30s now.
Having to grow up in both aversatile and such a restrictive
(02:45):
landscape at the same timepresented unique challenges, and
for me as a photographer, whatI do is I'll take a shot of a
place that you've seen a milliontimes but you'll think is in
another country.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
So what were some of the challenges that you
struggled with before you cameto grips with who you were?
Speaker 3 (03:05):
A lot of it was communication.
No one knew how to communicatewith me and I had to learn to
communicate with them.
I had to cross my ownboundaries to respect theirs,
and it was difficult becausethey took that as weakness and
took advantage of it.
So my path of least resistancewas not speaking up when I
clearly should have, and it notonly affected my home life with
(03:26):
life, you know, with my family,but also with my first
girlfriend.
Oh, she did me dirty, not inthe fun way.
That was the second X, but wedon't talk about that because
I'm with my fiance right now.
Oh yeah, I learned how toculture humor.
Humor is probably my greatestasset.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
It is a good asset.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
And that's how I survived.
I had to learn to be thebrother of the show because I
knew early on I was going to be.
So you know, take your lot inlife and adapt to it, and that's
what helped me as a kid and asan as an adult.
Now the adaptability aspect ofokay, I have, you know, one of
two very crap options.
(04:13):
Which option is going to hurtthe less kind of thing?
So do that.
I've become flexible.
So I'm a mimicker chameleon,you know I can pass among the,
the, the land of living, as theysay.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
mimic or chameleon, you know I can pass among the,
the land of living, as they say,are you able to be yourself,
however, uh, outside of thechameleon effect only when I'm
by myself, and a lot of thetimes I am by myself are you
comfortable when you aremimicking or is it a survival
technique?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
I wouldn't even say it's mimicking, it's.
It's almost like a weird formof symbiosis, like I adapt to
whoever I need to become, so I'mnever disingenuous, like every
part of myself I portray is mytrue self, just with you know
aspects hidden behind.
So I guess shapeshifter maybemore than anything, like I can
(05:05):
just just I'm customizable.
There we go, a customizablecharacter well, humans in
general matt are.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
They want to assimilate, right.
They want to be accepted, andso people will do whatever it
takes, regardless if you're onthe spectrum or not, to be
accepted.
Disingenuous, unfortunately, isa symptom of people trying to
(05:35):
be accepted.
They'll just be accepted.
I call it the wholesale opinionmarket.
They'll just agree withwhatever people have to say,
without actually putting theirreal self out there.
So it's good that you recognizethat, even though you're
fitting in, you're able to notbe disingenuous and people are
able to see a part of you thatis real.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Right, it's very much about control too, it's.
You know, I'm paraphrasingSerenity Prayer, of course, but
you know, control what you canand let go of what you can't.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, and that's that's critical.
There's so much outside of ourcontrol.
You know we talk on the podcastabout people that overcome
society's restrictions.
Quote, unquote rules I saythere are no rules to success.
Rules.
(06:28):
I say there are no rules tosuccess.
Fear is a major hold back tosuccess and, being that you're
on the spectrum, you hadadditional things that you had
to overcome.
What would you tell peoplegoing through their younger
years, teenage years, etc.
That are on the spectrum likeyourself, who have desires?
You wanted to be a writer andyou were told by the naysayers
(06:51):
no, that's not going to work outfor you, and you actually
succumbed to it until later onin life.
What would you tell somebody ifyou could go back?
What would you tell yourself ifyou could go back when you
heard those naysayers?
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Pardon my French, but I tell myself, kid, they're
full of shit.
I don't want to call itnihilistic apathy, but in a
sense it is.
If we're all going to dieanyway, you might as well have a
life well lived.
I want to be the guy that saidoh yeah, I did that, rather than
oh, I wish I did that.
My best advice to myself and toanyone is just be yourself.
I did that.
My best advice to myself andanyone is just be yourself.
(07:24):
Live your life without regard,so long as you're not hurting
yourself or others.
You know no one really cares.
Be happy for you.
My old man told me this like80% of the people don't care
what you're going through and20% of the people are happier
going through it.
And I took that and molded myown Like you know what?
If that's the case?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
You know, matt, that's the greatest sense of
freedom when somebody finallycomes to the realization that
their life is theirs and otherpeople's opinions don't matter.
Most I would say higher than80% of the people out there
really don't care about yourjourney.
If you are successful in yourjourney, they're jealous.
(08:13):
If you are successful in yourjourney, they're jealous.
Mostly, they project becausethey don't have what it takes to
overcome the strugglesnecessary to achieve the success
that you have in your own life.
People need to be aware of thisand this is another segue I want
to go into with you is youropinion on social media and how
(08:33):
that is affecting especiallyyounger generations.
We see the highest level of butyeah, you know the levels of
anxiety, depression, suicideamongst young people is at an
all-time level.
They have lost hope in theAmerican dream.
(08:54):
They've lost hope and achievingsuccess in their own way.
My opinion is that has a lot todo with the fake shit you see
on social media.
They're buried in their phonesall day.
What's your opinion on socialmedia and how that is affecting
people both on and off theautism scale?
Speaker 3 (09:14):
I will tell you this social media is is very much a
double-edged sword, but at theend it's more detrimental than
it is, uh, beneficial.
Um, you're right.
Uh, with the shit that's outthere, uh, it's nuts and people
on the spectrum.
Myself, since I'm a little bithigher function, I can see it
for what it is, because I workedretail for about five or so
(09:35):
years and I saw how real shitgot and it's like it's all a
personification and an illusionbuilt up by people that are
disillusioned.
If that makes sense, facebookis digital catharsis and also
physical catharsis in the senseof oh, let me post about my
misery or my happiness, and it'skeeping up with the Jonesoneses
.
Just you know.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
2.0 well keeping up the joneses.
The problem is the joneses arefake.
Exactly every out there issomebody hiring a hollywood
studio or creating a facade,trying to put out in the world
that they have a life that theyactually don't have, and then
people believe it.
(10:15):
One of the things we're tryingto do here is dispel the fact
that to achieve in life requireshard work, persistence.
You have to be able to shut outthe naysayers.
Here's the thing, Matt, aboutall the people that told you,
you know, when you wanted to bea writer, that you shouldn't and
you can't is they're right 100%of the time until they're wrong
(10:37):
.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
And they're never wrong.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Well, they are wrong once you prove them wrong.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Right, but I'm just saying in that sense.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Yeah, it's easy for people to look at people that
want to succeed or push theboundaries and it's easy for
them to say, well, don't do it.
No, you can't do it.
No, that's hard.
There's not too many peoplethat make it in whatever you
want to do, and that's aprojection of them and their
fears on you and also they wantyou to and their failures.
(11:10):
That's correct.
They, they didn't have what ittook to chase their dreams and
their goals in their own life.
And then, of course, you havethe addition of cruelty, of
people that are casting judgmenton you because you might be a
little different.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Right, I mean, I hate to say it's nothing new.
But circling back to Facebook,it is as beneficial as it is
detrimental.
And I would say it's moredetrimental because people on
the spectrum, especially with I,have depression as well.
So we're easily influenced by alot of what we see.
And it's having that personaldiscernment.
I will say on success find yourown definition of it.
(11:49):
It's not what it's cracked upto be.
It's not what it's cracked upto be.
Even on my own, my small scaleof success.
I've been published a few times, sold a couple of my
photographic pieces and whathave you.
But what a lot of people don'tsee is the work that comes
behind it.
So let's say, your favoriteinfluence posts something and it
blows up.
It's like there was work behindit and with more independent
(12:12):
artists there's double, if nottriple, triple, the work.
So social media in and ofitself is a lie.
It's fake book, you know, asopposed to facebook yeah, it's
instance.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
It portrays instant gratification.
Nobody sees exactly the journey, the struggles, what it takes
to achieve success.
Um, everybody wants goals, whatit takes to achieve success,
everybody wants what you have.
They don't want how you gotthere.
They're not willing to do thework.
What would you say yourdefinition of success is today,
(12:44):
as you've learned and grownthrough some of these
difficulties you've gone through, how would you define it
yourself?
Speaker 3 (12:52):
For me, my success is defined by the people's lives
I've touched At the end of theday.
If I can come see my fiance, ifI can hang out with him, if I
can have breakfast and I can payfor it, I've done a good job.
If I haven't sold a piece, itdrives me further.
So my success is just beingable to come home to a place of
my own, and I have that to somedegree.
It's not 100% perfect.
(13:13):
It's a daily struggle, but it'staking into effect.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
The little blessings and all the small blessings add
up to a bigger one.
You know, all blessings in mylife, matt, have a foundation of
hard work and persistencetenacity.
You know, right from my job tomy business, to my family life,
(13:45):
it is hard work and it requiresconstant vigilance and being
present.
I love the fact that you saidyour success is defined by
helping other people.
More people out there need tounderstand how that feels.
They're working so hard forthemselves and they're miserable
.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Because ultimately they're working for nothing.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
No, instead of going out in the world and having a
purpose, why am I doing what I'mdoing?
Am I doing it for myself, toput an extra dollar in the bank,
or am I actually benefitingother people by the effort, the
output of my energy?
Is that helping society?
(14:27):
Is it helping somebody's day?
That day?
Are they happier because theymet Matt or they saw one of his
pictures or read one of hiswritings?
That provides a reason to dowhat you do it is and that that
is what.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Uh, that's what strives me to.
It's like I.
I personally will never know theeffect I've had on a lot of
people, but I would like tothink that it was a positive one
, like I used to work with kidsbefore I took injury.
I worked for my hometown'sparks and rec and I worked with
kids.
I loved it.
I got hurt and I couldn'tcontinue my job so I had to
leave it.
But my thing is like if a kidthinks of me fondly, then I've
(15:08):
done my job, even if you knowthat kid's like oh, mr Matt was
being silly.
I don't want to be like thatkind of thing.
But so long as I touch thatlive in a positive impact, I can
sleep well at night and that'swhat it means to be successful.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I love it.
I think it's a fantasticdefinition and it's personal,
and that's what successultimately is defined by.
You should be able to define itin your own life.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
So when you were in high school and you were writing
, what kind of writing were youdoing?
A lot of it was poetry andlyrics.
But I also started writingmovie scripts because I wanted
to be a filmmaker as well.
So I would toil away at thatand I would take on so many
projects that I knew.
So, yeah, no, I wrote scripts alot.
I wrote scripts for what Iwrote, uh, scripts like what
they would call fan film.
So I wrote like batman and likelegend of zelda, which is a
video game.
So I did all kinds of stufflike that.
(16:01):
I was, I was good, but I wasvery unrefined, let's put it
like that.
And you know, after high school, into early college and even
after, like, I picked it up onand off, but, uh, it was never a
consistent thing.
I had to give up on it.
But in my late 20s I startedreally focusing and buckling
down and I figured that, okay,I'm good at this.
And then, shortly after, when Iwas about 29, I picked up my
(16:24):
camera for the first time and Ididn't even have an interest or
background in photography mycamera, silk Scholar, as I call
her.
I've been with her for 10 yearsand I've been with her for 10
years and I've had an act for it.
I found out that I was just goodat it and again, through trial
and error and persistence.
More than anything, I foundthat I have a marketable gift,
(16:46):
and 10 years ago, when I firststarted out, within three years
I'd fallen flat because myintent was just after myself.
I was only after the next bigscore, the next big book, and it
took another five years torealize I have a gift, that I
can use it to make an impact, apositive impact, on people,
especially those of us on thespectrum.
So that's when I decided torefocus and that's how I became
(17:09):
my own definition of success andthat's what I want to share to
others.
You can do it.
Don't listen to the idiots.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Where do you find the strength in your life, Matt?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Faith in God and my beloved wife.
I call her my fiancee, buthopefully we'll be married
within the next year.
She's very much my wife andsoulmate.
So you know, faith in God andmy gift with her keeps me going
and the fact that I now have afuture.
I will tell you in allearnestness I didn't think I
(17:48):
would live past to see 18.
In fact, my mother and I had arunning bet that I wouldn't live
past the C18.
Boy when I hit 30, I think wecalled it quits on that.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Well, that's a pretty dark bet.
Glad you called it.
Quits on it.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Funny thing is I actually had died.
You know, I interviewed peoplewhen I was about 30, I'm 132.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Okay, no, go ahead.
Yeah, I think I was about 31 or32.
I had succumbed to mentalillness.
They prescribed me somethingcalled lithium and it killed me
quite literally and I lost theuse of my legs.
(18:26):
I was out for about a month, Ithink, and apparently, according
to my dad you know, god resthis soul he told me that I had
checked out three times at 30minutes apiece.
So he was the first person Isaw when I came to and he was
crying.
I've never seen a man crybefore.
And, yeah, long and short of it, I was without my legs for
(18:46):
about five years.
It was very arduous, verygrueling and very
script-breaking.
I was kind of ungrateful atfirst.
I used to say you know the onlyreason I was brought back alive
?
Because neither god nor thedevil wanted me and they had a
bitter custody battle.
Hey, you take, no, you takethem, you take them, send them
back.
Um, I I say I was mistaken,though.
Um, I had a purpose, and Istill do, and that's why I'm
(19:09):
kicking, and my purpose, I think, is just to help as many people
as I can, even if through wordof mouth, like, hey, you can do
it.
Don't succumb to the idiotsLike.
They're just that.
Idiots like live your life foryourself and without regard.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
You know a lot of people I talked to Matt that are
successful or going throughtheir journey towards success.
They speak of their faith askeeping them grounded.
Has that been something that'sbeen in your life, your entire
life, or is it something youcame to later in life?
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Well, my dad.
So he's not my real dad, but Icall him my dad.
I met him when my first stepdadleft.
He got arrested for beating mymom and I for sport.
So I met Steve, my current dad,and um.
He was a christian, hardcoreprotestant, and um, we clashed a
lot of times and the funnything is he showed religion so
(20:05):
far down my throat thateventually it took.
He went about it the verybackwards way, but he meant well
and at the end of the day itsaved me, like my dad and and I.
We never saw eye to eye hardlyever but he was a great man and
not a day goes by that I don'tmiss him.
So I had to pull him a bunch ofthat stuff.
(20:25):
But my faith has always beenthat I've always had a rocker
relationship with God.
Even now my faith is in what itshould be and what it could be.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
But I know at the end of the day that God.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
If God is with me, who can stand against me?
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I think God gives us the right to have a rocky
relationship with him.
He gave us the ability tochoose.
I think it would be boring ifwe were a bunch of robots and
following mindlessly to a God.
I think God gave us ourpersonalities, our sense of
humor, our struggles, so that wecould have a relationship as we
(21:05):
would with other people.
So I think that a rockyrelationship at times with God
is not a bad thing.
It actually is potentially someof the times we learn the best.
We learn through adversity, andif we come out the other side,
(21:28):
we come out stronger.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Do you have the?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
use of your legs now, Matt.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
I do.
Actually, it took six years intotal, and also me getting my
job with the kids, because Ilearned, learned to run really
fast.
Because a kid was doingsomething stupid, I'm like, hmm,
let me go fix that.
Well, it's partial.
Unfortunately, I got hit by acar in March and I've had two
surgeries on my leg.
Oh boy, I didn't realize howmuch damage has been done to me.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
So, oh boy, I didn't realize how much damage has been
done to me.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
So would you consider yourself a writer or a
photographer as your strength?
At this point, it's evenskilled.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I'm a photojournalist .
At the end of it.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
And where can people find your work, matt?
You can find me on twilight I'msorry, a red bubble.
I'm twilight gemini.
Um, I have my uh photographs uhon, like dress pattern shirts
and what have you.
Um, I just uploaded a couple ofnew designs last night and you
can also find me on YouTubeunder Red Button Productions.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Red Button Productions.
My icon is a video gamecharacter holding a tarantula.
Okay, video character holding atarantula.
Keep an eye out for that.
Is there anything encouragingyou can tell people out there
that are struggling and withnaysayers about achieving their
their dreams, or if social mediais beating them down?
(23:01):
What would your advice be?
Speaker 3 (23:03):
For social media, I would say take a break, turn it
off.
It's.
It's not all it's cracked up tobe.
You're only seeing what they'rethey're wanting you to see, you
know.
And as for just generaladversity, be at peace and be
with God.
The first thing I can recommendis a relationship with God, a
right relationship with Him andjust confidence in that.
(23:25):
Why worry about today?
Why worry about tomorrow?
Even I'm sorry, don't worryabout it.
God's got it covered.
If you put your faith and trustin him, he will not do you
wrong.
And if you know it's BS if itwalks like a duck, if it talks
like a duck, odds are it's aduck.
And the best and most profoundthing I can think of is this.
(23:48):
It's something I wrote manyyears ago Valiant fight, epic
flight.
Shed blood, then shed a tear.
Slay what you hate withoutbecoming who you fear.
Epic flight shed blood and sheda tear Slay what you hate
without becoming who you fear.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
That's great.
We'll end with that, matt, andI appreciate your time.
I appreciate the advice.
Hopefully it'll put some hopein some people today and perhaps
maybe some wisdom regardingsocial media.
If people are feelingoverwhelmed by it, maybe they
(24:20):
should take a break or look forthings that are more positive.
There are positive things aboutsocial media, but you gotta
look yeah, and it's finding thatdirection.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
To, lastly, like, find the direction.
Like I've lived my life and Ifound the workarounds.
It's like being you know,working with what you have
instead of what you don't have.
So, being that I'm autistic, Ifound workarounds to you know
life like that make it a littlebit easier.
You know, find the helpers,find the silver lines and just
find that faith in yourselfBecause ultimately, at the end
(24:53):
of the day, you're the onethat's got you the most.
Like you know you best, next toGod.
Don't give in.
That's what they want.
I wish you the best, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Never give up, always fight Well, matt, thank you so
much for joining and we'll keepin touch and I wish you the best
.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
It was a pleasure.
Thank you, cheers.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
You've been listening to Real People, Real Life.
Our passion is to have realconversations with real people
who've made it.
Real people who've made it whodid it on their own terms.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, catch us on Twitter or
X at RPRL Podcast and onYouTube at Real People Real Life
(25:39):
Podcast.
Welcome to Real People, real Life, where
everyday conversations lead toextraordinary insights.
We're all about digging intothe lives of regular people
who've achieved success on theirown terms, from business and
entrepreneurship to fitness,politics, education and beyond
(00:23):
we cover it all.
This is Real People, real Life.
Politics, education and beyondwe cover it all.
This is Real People, real Life.
And now your host, ryan.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Sherow.
All right, matt.
Well, I appreciate you comingout joining us on the podcast.
I got your submission and itwas interesting.
There's some things in there Ididn't even know about.
You describe yourself as aneuro divergent.
Explain that.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Basically a neuro divergent means I'm on the
autism spectrum, I have a highfunctioning.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Asperger's.
So walk me through your story.
You talk about some trauma andsome things that you went
through being neurodivergent andhow that has affected your life
today.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
And growing up like I grew up in California but still
my family mental health in bothcultures is not a thing and in
the 90s, you know, much less so.
So I had to adapt.
You know my mother, she meantwell but in the end she had her
(01:41):
own trauma that she couldn'tquite get through and she kind
of passed the torch on to me.
So a lot of my artistic skillsI had to suppress.
You know, through high school,especially when I first became a
writer, I was talked out ofbeing one and it screwed me up
for a good while With my form ofAsperger's.
I need even numbers.
So if you give me like threecandy bars I'll only eat two,
which really screws with mebecause I like food.
You know, In terms of me being aphotographer, always have to
(02:04):
have like an even amount ofshots and let me tell you how
nuts that's driven me over thelast 10 years.
Um, so growing up, you knowlong and short of it is.
I learned to be a streetfighter, so I can pass for
neurotypical, which means I canpass for someone who is not
autistic a lot of the timebecause I had to survive like
90s was such a harsh landscapefor everybody, but Nerd
(02:25):
Divergence in particular.
It was difficult.
Again, like I said, I had tohide a lot of who I was, and I
didn't find out a lot of who Iwas until after, well into my
late 20s, early 30s.
I'm in my mid 30s now.
Having to grow up in both aversatile and such a restrictive
(02:45):
landscape at the same timepresented unique challenges, and
for me as a photographer, whatI do is I'll take a shot of a
place that you've seen a milliontimes but you'll think is in
another country.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
So what were some of the challenges that you
struggled with before you cameto grips with who you were?
Speaker 3 (03:05):
A lot of it was communication.
No one knew how to communicatewith me and I had to learn to
communicate with them.
I had to cross my ownboundaries to respect theirs,
and it was difficult becausethey took that as weakness and
took advantage of it.
So my path of least resistancewas not speaking up when I
clearly should have, and it notonly affected my home life with
(03:26):
life, you know, with my family,but also with my first
girlfriend.
Oh, she did me dirty, not inthe fun way.
That was the second X, but wedon't talk about that because
I'm with my fiance right now.
Oh yeah, I learned how toculture humor.
Humor is probably my greatestasset.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
It is a good asset.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
And that's how I survived.
I had to learn to be thebrother of the show because I
knew early on I was going to be.
So you know, take your lot inlife and adapt to it, and that's
what helped me as a kid and asan as an adult.
Now the adaptability aspect ofokay, I have, you know, one of
two very crap options.
(04:13):
Which option is going to hurtthe less kind of thing?
So do that.
I've become flexible.
So I'm a mimicker chameleon,you know I can pass among the,
the, the land of living, as theysay.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
mimic or chameleon, you know I can pass among the,
the land of living, as they say,are you able to be yourself,
however, uh, outside of thechameleon effect only when I'm
by myself, and a lot of thetimes I am by myself are you
comfortable when you aremimicking or is it a survival
technique?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
I wouldn't even say it's mimicking, it's.
It's almost like a weird formof symbiosis, like I adapt to
whoever I need to become, so I'mnever disingenuous, like every
part of myself I portray is mytrue self, just with you know
aspects hidden behind.
So I guess shapeshifter maybemore than anything, like I can
(05:05):
just just I'm customizable.
There we go, a customizablecharacter well, humans in
general matt are.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
They want to assimilate, right.
They want to be accepted, andso people will do whatever it
takes, regardless if you're onthe spectrum or not, to be
accepted.
Disingenuous, unfortunately, isa symptom of people trying to
(05:35):
be accepted.
They'll just be accepted.
I call it the wholesale opinionmarket.
They'll just agree withwhatever people have to say,
without actually putting theirreal self out there.
So it's good that you recognizethat, even though you're
fitting in, you're able to notbe disingenuous and people are
able to see a part of you thatis real.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Right, it's very much about control too, it's.
You know, I'm paraphrasingSerenity Prayer, of course, but
you know, control what you canand let go of what you can't.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, and that's that's critical.
There's so much outside of ourcontrol.
You know we talk on the podcastabout people that overcome
society's restrictions.
Quote, unquote rules I saythere are no rules to success.
Rules.
(06:28):
I say there are no rules tosuccess.
Fear is a major hold back tosuccess and, being that you're
on the spectrum, you hadadditional things that you had
to overcome.
What would you tell peoplegoing through their younger
years, teenage years, etc.
That are on the spectrum likeyourself, who have desires?
You wanted to be a writer andyou were told by the naysayers
(06:51):
no, that's not going to work outfor you, and you actually
succumbed to it until later onin life.
What would you tell somebody ifyou could go back?
What would you tell yourself ifyou could go back when you
heard those naysayers?
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Pardon my French, but I tell myself, kid, they're
full of shit.
I don't want to call itnihilistic apathy, but in a
sense it is.
If we're all going to dieanyway, you might as well have a
life well lived.
I want to be the guy that saidoh yeah, I did that, rather than
oh, I wish I did that.
My best advice to myself and toanyone is just be yourself.
I did that.
My best advice to myself andanyone is just be yourself.
(07:24):
Live your life without regard,so long as you're not hurting
yourself or others.
You know no one really cares.
Be happy for you.
My old man told me this like80% of the people don't care
what you're going through and20% of the people are happier
going through it.
And I took that and molded myown Like you know what?
If that's the case?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
You know, matt, that's the greatest sense of
freedom when somebody finallycomes to the realization that
their life is theirs and otherpeople's opinions don't matter.
Most I would say higher than80% of the people out there
really don't care about yourjourney.
If you are successful in yourjourney, they're jealous.
(08:13):
If you are successful in yourjourney, they're jealous.
Mostly, they project becausethey don't have what it takes to
overcome the strugglesnecessary to achieve the success
that you have in your own life.
People need to be aware of thisand this is another segue I want
to go into with you is youropinion on social media and how
(08:33):
that is affecting especiallyyounger generations.
We see the highest level of butyeah, you know the levels of
anxiety, depression, suicideamongst young people is at an
all-time level.
They have lost hope in theAmerican dream.
(08:54):
They've lost hope and achievingsuccess in their own way.
My opinion is that has a lot todo with the fake shit you see
on social media.
They're buried in their phonesall day.
What's your opinion on socialmedia and how that is affecting
people both on and off theautism scale?
Speaker 3 (09:14):
I will tell you this social media is is very much a
double-edged sword, but at theend it's more detrimental than
it is, uh, beneficial.
Um, you're right.
Uh, with the shit that's outthere, uh, it's nuts and people
on the spectrum.
Myself, since I'm a little bithigher function, I can see it
for what it is, because I workedretail for about five or so
(09:35):
years and I saw how real shitgot and it's like it's all a
personification and an illusionbuilt up by people that are
disillusioned.
If that makes sense, facebookis digital catharsis and also
physical catharsis in the senseof oh, let me post about my
misery or my happiness, and it'skeeping up with the Jonesoneses
.
Just you know.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
2.0 well keeping up the joneses.
The problem is the joneses arefake.
Exactly every out there issomebody hiring a hollywood
studio or creating a facade,trying to put out in the world
that they have a life that theyactually don't have, and then
people believe it.
(10:15):
One of the things we're tryingto do here is dispel the fact
that to achieve in life requireshard work, persistence.
You have to be able to shut outthe naysayers.
Here's the thing, Matt, aboutall the people that told you,
you know, when you wanted to bea writer, that you shouldn't and
you can't is they're right 100%of the time until they're wrong
(10:37):
.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
And they're never wrong.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Well, they are wrong once you prove them wrong.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Right, but I'm just saying in that sense.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Yeah, it's easy for people to look at people that
want to succeed or push theboundaries and it's easy for
them to say, well, don't do it.
No, you can't do it.
No, that's hard.
There's not too many peoplethat make it in whatever you
want to do, and that's aprojection of them and their
fears on you and also they wantyou to and their failures.
(11:10):
That's correct.
They, they didn't have what ittook to chase their dreams and
their goals in their own life.
And then, of course, you havethe addition of cruelty, of
people that are casting judgmenton you because you might be a
little different.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Right, I mean, I hate to say it's nothing new.
But circling back to Facebook,it is as beneficial as it is
detrimental.
And I would say it's moredetrimental because people on
the spectrum, especially with I,have depression as well.
So we're easily influenced by alot of what we see.
And it's having that personaldiscernment.
I will say on success find yourown definition of it.
(11:49):
It's not what it's cracked upto be.
It's not what it's cracked upto be.
Even on my own, my small scaleof success.
I've been published a few times, sold a couple of my
photographic pieces and whathave you.
But what a lot of people don'tsee is the work that comes
behind it.
So let's say, your favoriteinfluence posts something and it
blows up.
It's like there was work behindit and with more independent
(12:12):
artists there's double, if nottriple, triple, the work.
So social media in and ofitself is a lie.
It's fake book, you know, asopposed to facebook yeah, it's
instance.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
It portrays instant gratification.
Nobody sees exactly the journey, the struggles, what it takes
to achieve success.
Um, everybody wants goals, whatit takes to achieve success,
everybody wants what you have.
They don't want how you gotthere.
They're not willing to do thework.
What would you say yourdefinition of success is today,
(12:44):
as you've learned and grownthrough some of these
difficulties you've gone through, how would you define it
yourself?
Speaker 3 (12:52):
For me, my success is defined by the people's lives
I've touched At the end of theday.
If I can come see my fiance, ifI can hang out with him, if I
can have breakfast and I can payfor it, I've done a good job.
If I haven't sold a piece, itdrives me further.
So my success is just beingable to come home to a place of
my own, and I have that to somedegree.
It's not 100% perfect.
(13:13):
It's a daily struggle, but it'staking into effect.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
The little blessings and all the small blessings add
up to a bigger one.
You know, all blessings in mylife, matt, have a foundation of
hard work and persistencetenacity.
You know, right from my job tomy business, to my family life,
(13:45):
it is hard work and it requiresconstant vigilance and being
present.
I love the fact that you saidyour success is defined by
helping other people.
More people out there need tounderstand how that feels.
They're working so hard forthemselves and they're miserable
.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Because ultimately they're working for nothing.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
No, instead of going out in the world and having a
purpose, why am I doing what I'mdoing?
Am I doing it for myself, toput an extra dollar in the bank,
or am I actually benefitingother people by the effort, the
output of my energy?
Is that helping society?
(14:27):
Is it helping somebody's day?
That day?
Are they happier because theymet Matt or they saw one of his
pictures or read one of hiswritings?
That provides a reason to dowhat you do it is and that that
is what.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Uh, that's what strives me to.
It's like I.
I personally will never know theeffect I've had on a lot of
people, but I would like tothink that it was a positive one
, like I used to work with kidsbefore I took injury.
I worked for my hometown'sparks and rec and I worked with
kids.
I loved it.
I got hurt and I couldn'tcontinue my job so I had to
leave it.
But my thing is like if a kidthinks of me fondly, then I've
(15:08):
done my job, even if you knowthat kid's like oh, mr Matt was
being silly.
I don't want to be like thatkind of thing.
But so long as I touch thatlive in a positive impact, I can
sleep well at night and that'swhat it means to be successful.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I love it.
I think it's a fantasticdefinition and it's personal,
and that's what successultimately is defined by.
You should be able to define itin your own life.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
So when you were in high school and you were writing
, what kind of writing were youdoing?
A lot of it was poetry andlyrics.
But I also started writingmovie scripts because I wanted
to be a filmmaker as well.
So I would toil away at thatand I would take on so many
projects that I knew.
So, yeah, no, I wrote scripts alot.
I wrote scripts for what Iwrote, uh, scripts like what
they would call fan film.
So I wrote like batman and likelegend of zelda, which is a
video game.
So I did all kinds of stufflike that.
(16:01):
I was, I was good, but I wasvery unrefined, let's put it
like that.
And you know, after high school, into early college and even
after, like, I picked it up onand off, but, uh, it was never a
consistent thing.
I had to give up on it.
But in my late 20s I startedreally focusing and buckling
down and I figured that, okay,I'm good at this.
And then, shortly after, when Iwas about 29, I picked up my
(16:24):
camera for the first time and Ididn't even have an interest or
background in photography mycamera, silk Scholar, as I call
her.
I've been with her for 10 yearsand I've been with her for 10
years and I've had an act for it.
I found out that I was just goodat it and again, through trial
and error and persistence.
More than anything, I foundthat I have a marketable gift,
(16:46):
and 10 years ago, when I firststarted out, within three years
I'd fallen flat because myintent was just after myself.
I was only after the next bigscore, the next big book, and it
took another five years torealize I have a gift, that I
can use it to make an impact, apositive impact, on people,
especially those of us on thespectrum.
So that's when I decided torefocus and that's how I became
(17:09):
my own definition of success andthat's what I want to share to
others.
You can do it.
Don't listen to the idiots.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Where do you find the strength in your life, Matt?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Faith in God and my beloved wife.
I call her my fiancee, buthopefully we'll be married
within the next year.
She's very much my wife andsoulmate.
So you know, faith in God andmy gift with her keeps me going
and the fact that I now have afuture.
I will tell you in allearnestness I didn't think I
(17:48):
would live past to see 18.
In fact, my mother and I had arunning bet that I wouldn't live
past the C18.
Boy when I hit 30, I think wecalled it quits on that.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Well, that's a pretty dark bet.
Glad you called it.
Quits on it.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Funny thing is I actually had died.
You know, I interviewed peoplewhen I was about 30, I'm 132.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Okay, no, go ahead.
Yeah, I think I was about 31 or32.
I had succumbed to mentalillness.
They prescribed me somethingcalled lithium and it killed me
quite literally and I lost theuse of my legs.
(18:26):
I was out for about a month, Ithink, and apparently, according
to my dad you know, god resthis soul he told me that I had
checked out three times at 30minutes apiece.
So he was the first person Isaw when I came to and he was
crying.
I've never seen a man crybefore.
And, yeah, long and short of it, I was without my legs for
(18:46):
about five years.
It was very arduous, verygrueling and very
script-breaking.
I was kind of ungrateful atfirst.
I used to say you know the onlyreason I was brought back alive
?
Because neither god nor thedevil wanted me and they had a
bitter custody battle.
Hey, you take, no, you takethem, you take them, send them
back.
Um, I I say I was mistaken,though.
Um, I had a purpose, and Istill do, and that's why I'm
(19:09):
kicking, and my purpose, I think, is just to help as many people
as I can, even if through wordof mouth, like, hey, you can do
it.
Don't succumb to the idiotsLike.
They're just that.
Idiots like live your life foryourself and without regard.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
You know a lot of people I talked to Matt that are
successful or going throughtheir journey towards success.
They speak of their faith askeeping them grounded.
Has that been something that'sbeen in your life, your entire
life, or is it something youcame to later in life?
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Well, my dad.
So he's not my real dad, but Icall him my dad.
I met him when my first stepdadleft.
He got arrested for beating mymom and I for sport.
So I met Steve, my current dad,and um.
He was a christian, hardcoreprotestant, and um, we clashed a
lot of times and the funnything is he showed religion so
(20:05):
far down my throat thateventually it took.
He went about it the verybackwards way, but he meant well
and at the end of the day itsaved me, like my dad and and I.
We never saw eye to eye hardlyever but he was a great man and
not a day goes by that I don'tmiss him.
So I had to pull him a bunch ofthat stuff.
(20:25):
But my faith has always beenthat I've always had a rocker
relationship with God.
Even now my faith is in what itshould be and what it could be.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
But I know at the end of the day that God.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
If God is with me, who can stand against me?
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I think God gives us the right to have a rocky
relationship with him.
He gave us the ability tochoose.
I think it would be boring ifwe were a bunch of robots and
following mindlessly to a God.
I think God gave us ourpersonalities, our sense of
humor, our struggles, so that wecould have a relationship as we
(21:05):
would with other people.
So I think that a rockyrelationship at times with God
is not a bad thing.
It actually is potentially someof the times we learn the best.
We learn through adversity, andif we come out the other side,
(21:28):
we come out stronger.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Do you have the?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
use of your legs now, Matt.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
I do.
Actually, it took six years intotal, and also me getting my
job with the kids, because Ilearned, learned to run really
fast.
Because a kid was doingsomething stupid, I'm like, hmm,
let me go fix that.
Well, it's partial.
Unfortunately, I got hit by acar in March and I've had two
surgeries on my leg.
Oh boy, I didn't realize howmuch damage has been done to me.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
So, oh boy, I didn't realize how much damage has been
done to me.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
So would you consider yourself a writer or a
photographer as your strength?
At this point, it's evenskilled.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I'm a photojournalist .
At the end of it.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
And where can people find your work, matt?
You can find me on twilight I'msorry, a red bubble.
I'm twilight gemini.
Um, I have my uh photographs uhon, like dress pattern shirts
and what have you.
Um, I just uploaded a couple ofnew designs last night and you
can also find me on YouTubeunder Red Button Productions.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Red Button Productions.
My icon is a video gamecharacter holding a tarantula.
Okay, video character holding atarantula.
Keep an eye out for that.
Is there anything encouragingyou can tell people out there
that are struggling and withnaysayers about achieving their
their dreams, or if social mediais beating them down?
(23:01):
What would your advice be?
Speaker 3 (23:03):
For social media, I would say take a break, turn it
off.
It's.
It's not all it's cracked up tobe.
You're only seeing what they'rethey're wanting you to see, you
know.
And as for just generaladversity, be at peace and be
with God.
The first thing I can recommendis a relationship with God, a
right relationship with Him andjust confidence in that.
(23:25):
Why worry about today?
Why worry about tomorrow?
Even I'm sorry, don't worryabout it.
God's got it covered.
If you put your faith and trustin him, he will not do you
wrong.
And if you know it's BS if itwalks like a duck, if it talks
like a duck, odds are it's aduck.
And the best and most profoundthing I can think of is this.
(23:48):
It's something I wrote manyyears ago Valiant fight, epic
flight.
Shed blood, then shed a tear.
Slay what you hate withoutbecoming who you fear.
Epic flight shed blood and sheda tear Slay what you hate
without becoming who you fear.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
That's great.
We'll end with that, matt, andI appreciate your time.
I appreciate the advice.
Hopefully it'll put some hopein some people today and perhaps
maybe some wisdom regardingsocial media.
If people are feelingoverwhelmed by it, maybe they
(24:20):
should take a break or look forthings that are more positive.
There are positive things aboutsocial media, but you gotta
look yeah, and it's finding thatdirection.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
To, lastly, like, find the direction.
Like I've lived my life and Ifound the workarounds.
It's like being you know,working with what you have
instead of what you don't have.
So, being that I'm autistic, Ifound workarounds to you know
life like that make it a littlebit easier.
You know, find the helpers,find the silver lines and just
find that faith in yourselfBecause ultimately, at the end
(24:53):
of the day, you're the onethat's got you the most.
Like you know you best, next toGod.
Don't give in.
That's what they want.
I wish you the best, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Never give up, always fight Well, matt, thank you so
much for joining and we'll keepin touch and I wish you the best
.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
It was a pleasure.
Thank you, cheers.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
You've been listening to Real People, Real Life.
Our passion is to have realconversations with real people
who've made it.
Real people who've made it whodid it on their own terms.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, catch us on Twitter or
X at RPRL Podcast and onYouTube at Real People Real Life
(25:39):
Podcast.
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