Redemption After the Nightmare: Joseph Cardoza's Journey Back from Prison

What happens when a single moment of rage changes everything? At 20 years old, Joseph Cardoza went from a normal summer night with friends to waking up in jail, charged with first-degree murder after a drunken restaurant brawl turned deadly. What followed was a 12-year sentence and a lifetime of fighting to reclaim his place in society.

Joseph's story isn't just about a terrible mistake—it's about what happens after paying your debt to society. During his decade of incarceration, he transformed his life through faith and education, earning his associate's degree behind bars and helping fellow inmates achieve their GEDs. But his real battle began after release, when he discovered that freedom doesn't mean the end of punishment.

From being denied his real estate license despite passing the exam to being barred from coaching his son's high school soccer team despite years of successful youth coaching, Joseph has continually faced barriers because of his past. Yet through it all, he's refused to accept rejection as final. With unwavering determination and support from unexpected allies—including judges, sheriffs, and family members—he's fought for and won the right to rebuild his life.

Joseph's journey reveals the harsh reality of our criminal justice system's perpetual punishment while demonstrating extraordinary resilience in the face of repeated obstacles. His powerful message to his own sons resonates with all of us: "One bad decision can affect so many people's lives." But through his example, he also shows that with faith, perseverance, and the courage to fight for second chances, redemption is possible.

Listen now to this inspiring conversation about consequences, redemption, and the ongoing battle for a truly meaningful second chance. Then ask yourself: When someone has truly changed, when do they deserve to move beyond their worst mistake?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Welcome to Real.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
People, real Life.
Joseph, well, I appreciate youcoming out August 24th 1997.
That's a big day for you.
That kind of changed your lifetook you down a path that you
never expected coming.
And you woke up in the morningand you're being charged with

(00:35):
first degree murder.
How did that day start?

Speaker 3 (00:41):
it just started like a normal day.
You know summertime Just what Ihad been doing with my friends
throughout the summer hangingout and that night we decided to
go out again and hang out andhave a good time.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
And it ended in a nightmare.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
You guys had a bonfire, going barbecue, hanging
out with buddies.
You were 20 years old.
Yes, you grew up in a prettydecent family.
I did yeah, I was.
You know read some of yourstuff kind of grew up in the
church right.
I did yeah, father, mom.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Yes, mom and dad, always there, brought us up and,
you know, going to church, andmy siblings, two brothers and a
sister, and I'm the oldest one.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
So you're with your friends, you're 20 years old,
you're having the time of yourlife, it's summertime, you guys
doing a little underage,drinking, yeah, and decide hey,
I got an idea, let's drive andgo down to get some food, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
And it was almost, it was already after one in the
morning.
It was like 1.30.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Nothing ever happens that good at that time.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
And we had even said oh, let's go to TJ, you, TJ,
that's where we would go,because we were under 21, so
we'd go down there.
But we ended up going just toget some food and it turned out
to hold out more than justgetting some food.
That night you were prettydrunk too.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
I was super drunk, so walk me through leaving the
barbecue driving down to thefood place this was in North
County, right yeah, here inEscondido and you go to the
restaurant ready to order food.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
Yeah, and I'm there.
I was there in line to get somefood and one of my friends that
I was with had already orderedhis food, kind of standing off
to the side, and all becausesomebody flipped up his food
tray.
Next thing, you know, I turnedto the side and I got hit by
multiple people and everybodystarted fighting with inside the
restaurant.
Was it there like?

Speaker 1 (02:33):
a club or something nearby and a bunch of people
from the club had come over tothis restaurant to get some food
or just a bunch of people drunk.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Yeah, and which way?
I didn't know about it, but Ilater on learned that across the
street there was a nightclubthere, and so what happened was
a lot of them from there hadcome over to the restaurant as
well, and so the restaurant waspacked and um, and that's when
chaos broke out so basically abrawl how many people were
involved?
um, you know I was super drunk.
I know there's a lot of people,it happened very fast.

(03:03):
Um, I know, as I was standinginside the restaurant when I got
hit, I got knocked to theground got kicked to the ground.
I eventually fought my way outof the restaurant and when I
went out to the parking lot, thefight continued.
Um, there was a lot of emotion.
I was super drunk, I was superangry from getting hit and beat
up.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
You got your friends your friends are in the the
fight, you get what's called mobmentality.
Everyone is in, so it just getsmore escalated.
Yeah, and.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
I could honestly say some of it's a blur.
I don't know.
I remember being out therelooking at everything going on,
but I don't remember gettingfrom one place to the other.
But I did get to the spot whereit got even worse.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
So you got outside, you went back in to the fight or
the fight came outside with youguys.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
The fight came outside and that's where the
fight continued.
What happened next and next?
I remember there was a lot ofweapons involved.
Thank God there was no gunsthat got pulled out that night.
If it was happening today, I'msure multiple guns would get
pulled out.
Back then there was knives.
There was a lot of weaponsinvolved.
Thank God there was no gunsthat got pulled out that night.
If it was happening today, I'msure multiple guns would get
pulled out.
Back then there was knives,there was belts, there was
anything you can grab gettingswung around and unfortunately

(04:15):
somebody with our group had towork construction and somebody
had grabbed a weapon or theygrabbed a sledgehammer and I
ended up grabbing it.
It and I did hit the persontwice with it and when you look
back and I share that it soundslike well, how did?
How did you know that somebodygot seriously injured?
But that's just how super drunkI was and it happened so quick

(04:38):
I had no idea.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
Like it was this and this is a street fight.
This is not an organized fight.
You know, everyone's emotionsare going crazy.
People are just completelydrunk, completely freaking out,
fighting.
Everything's going on.
Yeah, not a lot of time toactually think it happens so
quick.
And you're 20 years old.
Not much thinking going on at20 years old, especially when

(04:59):
you're drunk.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
Yeah, drunk and I never got involved in gangs.
I never got involved in gangs.
I never got involved in drugs,but I did do.
I was working out at the timeand had done three cycles of
steroids.
Oh, brother, and I was goingthrough a cycle at that time,
and so that didn't help, youknow, it only intensified the
rage, the anger, and so I don'tblame it on the alcohol, I don't

(05:21):
blame it on the steroids, butit did have an effect on my
terrible decision making thatevening.
Sure, yeah absolutely, uh.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
So fight either starts coming to an end or you
and your buddy decide to bail.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Yeah, so there was um five of us that jumped in the
truck my, my friend.
He got in the driver's seat hewas, it was his truck.
I got in the passenger, threeother ones jumped in the back.
As soon as we pulled off intothe street, all kinds of cops
run us.
My friend looks at me and says,hey, I'll see you tomorrow.
I'm going to go in for a DUI.
That's about what you thoughtit was going to be.
That's what we thought it was.

(05:53):
But they pulled us out, had usthere at the curb, had us at
gunpoint, had us there for awhile and they would eventually
take us into the Eskimo policedepartment, separate us, had us
in our own cells and about 12hours later is when they would
call me up to the detective'sroom and I would find out what
happened?

Speaker 1 (06:11):
What was your mindset ?
So you're sitting there for 12hours, you're sobering up yeah,
still no idea what happened.
It was just a fight, yeah.
And now they're pulling you upto the detectives.
What's going through your mind,you of pulling you up to the
detectives?
What's going through your mind?
You're 20 years old.
What is going through your mind?
I'm going to get arrested forDUI or I'm going to get charged
for fighting.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Yeah, I had no idea what was coming my way.
I just knew I was involved in afight, I'd been super drunk, I
was sitting in that cell and theworst I had before that was a
ticket parking, and so I had noidea what was coming.
You know, they probablyprepared us with that carl's jr
they gave us.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
but and you walked.
So you walk into this office,you sit down expecting you
charged with disorderly contact,maybe a fight, maybe not a dui,
but maybe public drunkenness.
And what does the detectivetell you?

Speaker 3 (07:03):
said mr cardza, do you know what you're here for?
I think there was threedetectives in the room.
They said, mr Cardoza, do youknow what you're here for?
I said no, because I didn't.
They said you're here for ahomicide.
Somebody died last night and Icouldn't believe it.
It was a shock.
I went numb.
I initially denied it.
They asked me questions.
I said no, I didn't hit thevictim.

(07:24):
They continued to ask mequestions and eventually I broke
down.
I didn't point the finger atanybody.
I didn't say oh, he did it.
I saw him do this or that, but Iended up letting him know I did
hit that person twice with thesledgehammer and yeah, it was.
I still remember being in thatroom.
That's something you're nevergoing to forget.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
No, it's also something based on the way you
grew up.
That happens to other people.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
Right, it's not like you were around violence.
It's not like you were hangingout in gangs.
You weren't in gangs.
You were just with your buddiesDoing a little underage
drinking, which a lot of peopledo, getting into a little fight
here and there and next thingyou know you're facing something
.
It's like a horror movie.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
Yeah, and I was 20 years old in August.
I was going to turn 21 inNovember, and that was less than
two years after I had taken myfirst drink of alcohol on a New
Year's Eve a little less thantwo years before that, because
before I was always the soberone, going out with friends,
going out with cousins, I'd havemy water, I'd be the designated
driver.
I just chose not to drink.
I didn't want to get involvedin that, but I took that one

(08:29):
drink and I liked the feelingand from there it's not like I
could drink every day, but fromthere I started going out and
partying, drinking, having agood time, and so it was like a
downward spiral.
I began to just go out more andin the world's eyes I was doing
okay because I had a job at UPS, I was going to Palomar College
, I was still going to church,you were doing all the right

(08:49):
things, yeah, and even thoughsometimes I'd go to church and
my parents said, did you go?
I said yeah, but I was reallysleeping in the park and not
hungover, and so I knew that Iwas not going in the right
direction.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
So you're faced with this charge.
You're numb.
It's almost a nightmare.
You're hoping you wake up.
I would think yeah.
At what point did you have tomake that phone call to your
parents?

Speaker 3 (09:16):
Well, they had heard that I had been in some trouble
and after I spoke to thedetectives they allowed me to
make a call home.
After I spoke to the detectives, they allowed me to make a call
home.
When I made that call home, mydad answered the phone.

(09:40):
I just said Dad, I'm sorry, andhe said Son, I love you and
I'll never forget that callBecause even though I had done
the worst thing in my life andhe still loved me and he was
there for me.

(10:01):
My family was there for me andI'll never forget that call and
I'm thankful that they showedthat love.
That was the way I was broughtup and just I'll never forget
that call.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
It helped me a lot, gave you strength.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
Yeah, it did, and for me it was just a reminder of
God's love, unconditional love,like even though I had done
something terrible, that hestill loved me the same, and so
that helped me a lot.
And later on I'd be transferredto the vista county jail the
five of us, and then we'd beseparated and be assigned to
different cells and um, at thispoint you're thinking my life's

(10:45):
over.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
Um, I'm just spending the rest of my life in jail.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
Yeah, because, um, you know, we'd find out that our
charges were first degreemurder, 27 years to life, and so
our initial charges.
We didn't know if we were evergoing to come home.
And, um, for me, I, lookingback, um, I was assigned a cell
number 13.
I still remember I went to thatcell 20 years old, carrying my
mattress in there.
I lost everything.

(11:08):
Now I'm just down to what thecounty jail gives me there my
blues, whatever they gave methere and carrying my mat into
the dorm.
They said go to 13.
I went there.
There was already two men inthere, so I had to go up to cell
number 32.
I walked in there, um, I sawsome verses on the wall and I

(11:29):
saw this is like jahar'sreligion, you know.
But it came to come to find outthat that was that person.
God used that person to reallyhelp me a lot and I still have,
um.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
I keep in touch with him today yeah, so they
eventually lowered the chargesbecause it wasn't premeditated,
it was just.
It was a fight that ended badly, really badly, and they plea,
bargained with you yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:56):
So they um, you know, if we were going to go to trial
, they were going to try to giveus second degree murder, which
would be 15 to life.
But they offered us a deal for,um, voluntary manslaughter,
because it wasn't premeditated,it was without malice, it was
heat of the moment, passion,fight that broke out, that got
way out of hand, um, so theyoffered us a deal for 12 years,

(12:17):
which was voluntary manslaughter, plus a one-year enhancement
before the weapon and um, weaccepted that deal because, even
though it's going to be a longtime, we knew that we had a date
to look forward to toeventually come home.
And so we accepted that dealand we that happened august 24th
we accept the deal in may of,uh, 1998, and you're at county

(12:39):
the whole time county jail andwe could have been transferred
after, right after that, to thestate prison.
But we wanted to stay closer tofamily for a little while longer
because we didn't know where wewere going to get sent to.
So from May and then we stayedthere until August, and then
that's when we got our sentence,and then we'd eventually be
shipped out shortly after that.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
How long were you in the correctional facility before
you started to acclimate,before you said, okay, I can do
this.
Yeah, because they always talkabout the first night.
You know where you're doing.
You know, here it goes, theclock started.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Well for me it started in the county jail
because they my first cellmatewas a Christian Hispanic.
I'm Hispanic, my dad's Hispanic, my mom's white.
But as soon as you get therethey put you with your race.
So I got assigned with aHispanic, tony Martinez, and he

(13:34):
was the only Christian Hispanicin that dorm and they saw that I
was spending a lot of time withhim.
A few days later they said hey,what are you going to do?
Are you going to run with us orare you going to be a Christian
?
I made a phone call to my dad.
I said, dad, what should I do?
He just said, son, you do whatyou know is right.
Next day I said I'm a Christian.
Because I was a Christian, butI went away.
I fell away from it.
But Tony is the one that led meback to the Lord and said God,

(13:59):
please forgive me for what I'vedone, please help me in, for he
was in, for he ended up gettingsix years.
I don't know his exact charges,but he ended up doing six,
about six years, and he's doinghe's doing good with his family
today as well and so I had tomake a decision.
I made that decision and theynever did anything to me
physically, but they would saythings to see how I'm going to
respond, because they see a lotof fake people Sure, you know

(14:21):
they can read you and they see alot of people come through the
system in and out.
They say that this is what theywant to do, come back out here,
they fall back into the drugs,they fall back into the old ways
and next thing, you know,they're right back in there.
So that's where my foundationwas built in the county jail,
because wherever you go, itfollows you.
People know like, hey, I waswith him over there and he acted
like this and he said he wasthis, but now he's acting this

(14:42):
way.
But I was, this is who I wasand I followed my belief and my
faith and God protected me, tookcare of me and eventually those
same people in the Vista Countyjail before before their you
know, before the court hearings,they would say hey, can you
pray for me?
And I built a good relationshipwith everybody in there.
I got along with everybody inthere, and so that's where it

(15:03):
started and it carried along asI was transferred to different
prisons here in SouthernCalifornia.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
Did any of the people you were with at county end up
at the prisons that you were at?

Speaker 3 (15:13):
Yeah, so there was different people that I was with
in the county and then I raninto them at different state
prisons as well.
So what?

Speaker 1 (15:18):
was it like?
Did you profess yourChristianity in prison?
In prison as well, yes.
So you said, hey, listen, I'maligned with the people of faith
, with the Christians.
I'm with the Mexicans or I'mwith the blacks.
You were with the Christians,yes.
Is that a segregation in prisonwhere they'll say, hey, come

(15:39):
with us, you're a religious guy,come hang with us.

Speaker 3 (15:43):
Yeah, but if that's what you really want to do,
they're going to respect you.
But if they see that you'rejust professing it but you're
not living it, then there couldbe consequences.
But yeah, I made um.
I.
I came to the lord that firstnight in the county jail.
I came back to the lord becausetony led me back to the lord,
said god, please forgive me forwhat I've done.
I cried out to god for help.
I wasn't crying to God to saytake me out of this place, even

(16:05):
though I wanted to get.
I knew there was going to beconsequences, but I did ask God
for mercy that I could have adate to come home.
And thank God, we got that.
You know, we pled guilty and Iknew I had a date to go forward
to.
And the first prison that I wasat because I got transferred to
George Bailey for the weekend,which is another jail down in
San Diego.
So they held me there for theweekend.
Then I was transferred toDonovan State Prison and it's a

(16:28):
reception yard.
They just keep you there for alittle while and then from there
they're going to decide wherethey're going to move you.
You could possibly stay therein Donovan, which I was hoping
for because be close here is tohome family, san Diego and
Donovan.
When I got from the receptionthey moved me to another yard.
They moved me to another yardand on that yard is where, when
I had gone to the chapel thereand I got baptized there Really
I got baptized there at thechapel and I remember, there in

(16:51):
the chapel and came up out ofthe water and the brothers were
singing, I have decided tofollow Jesus.
And then that same night theycalled me and they said Cardoza,
pack your stuff, you're leavingtomorrow morning to.
Calipatria State Prison.
Did they have a baptism there?

Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, and you know I was— Was it maximum security?
I was level three, which isExplain the levels.

Speaker 3 (17:13):
So level four is the highest level there and I was
level three.
And then there's level two,which is like dorm living, and
then there's level one.
That's going to be last.
So I started off level three incell living and so I got
transferred out to Calipari.
They had a Calipari, they hadlevel four, but I was on the
level three yard and I remembergetting on the bus that day,
living for San Diego, and thebus, the song you know, they had

(17:35):
the rate.
Some of the bus driver had theradio on it.
It said this has to be thesaddest day of my life, and I
still remember that song, beingshackled up and heading out to
the desert.
You know, wow, and I don'tforget it.
But in my mind I was like man,because that prison had a
reputation for not being good.
No, prison's good, but somehave a reputation for being
worse than others and this itdidn't have a good reputation.

(17:58):
And I just remember thinkingthat you know God's with me
wherever I go.
There's verses that say that hewill never leave me nor forsake
me.
And I thought about psalms 23the lord is my shepherd.
And I remember getting off thatbus in calipat state prison and
walking onto the yard and thenhaving as a gun point you know
the up there in the towers readyto shoot, as if anything

(18:18):
happened.
And you know, eventually thingsdid happen where, where they
had to shoot, you know, but Iwas young and I remember one—
Not that you were involved inthat- no, I was not involved in
it Because you got out on goodbehavior right.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
You served 10 years, 10 years and 3 months and, as
long as I didn't get in anytrouble.

Speaker 3 (18:38):
I had to do 85% of that 12-year sentence and you
know, wherever I went, god woulduse people to say you know what
, something's going to happenright now, better just to stay
inside, and and and they weren'tbelievers, but they were people
that I, you know, I had goodrelationship with them.
They would, even though theyweren't believers, they would
look out for me.

(18:58):
And God used those people tosay to say you know what?
It's a better state.
So, even though there weretimes where I was outside and
things did happen, god alwaysprotected me.
And so I was at that Calipatfrom Donovan.
I was there for a couple months, went out to Calipat for about
a year, which is out in likeImperial County, and then after
that they transferred me toIronwood State Prison, which is
another level three, and then Iwas there for almost two years

(19:21):
and then from there I got mypoints lowered to go to level
two, which was where I finishedmy last little more than five
years in dorm living.
And what's dorm living like?
Dorm living is you're in a gym,bunks and bunks all over the
place, and those dorms wereoriginally designed for 120
people.
By the time I left, those dormshad 340 inmates, oh man.
And they had triple bunks and itwas packed and um.

(19:44):
I prefer to sell because in acell, at least you, um, you, you
it's you and your cellmate, youand your celly, and you have
some quiet time, whereas thedorm is constantly noise and you
don't have that 300 differentpersonalities.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Oh brother, yeah, more, more opportunity for
trouble, yeah, which you'retrying to stay out of because
you're trying to get that clockreduced.
Yeah Well, I was reading yourstory and you took this
situation of being incarceratedand you did something with it.
Yes, tell the audience what youdid during your 10 years, three

(20:25):
months there.
What did you achieve?

Speaker 3 (20:27):
So you know, as I share with you, I was going to
Palomar College.
I had just started my going tostart my third.
I had I finished two yearsthere and so I was working
towards my degree and so when Igot to the level, to my last
five and a half years, that'swhen they had opportunity to do
distance learning through PaloVerde Community College out
there in Blythe and so I wasable to take the few courses

(20:49):
that I needed to get my AAdegree.
And the nice thing was at thatplace actually I'm sorry this is
take, this is an ironwood whereI was able to get my AA degree
and I was the GED clerk, so Ihad the opportunity to.
I helped the students, theinmates, with math, and so I was
able to get my AA there.

(21:10):
And so the nice thing wasbecause they'd have GED
graduations and then when I gotmy AA, my teacher there she
wanted me to be a part of theceremony so that I can encourage
others to hey, don't just stopat the GED, let's go further.
And so at the graduation, whenthey had the ceremony, I was
able to receive my AA degreethere through Palomar College,
because I finished it throughPalo Verdes.

(21:32):
And then when I got transferredto Chukwuala Valley State
Prison, I ended up gettinganother job there as the GED
clerk so I would help studentsout there, inmates out there,
with getting their GEDs,preparing them, helping people
yeah.
So I had the opportunity to beinvolved in the GED classes and
helping those guys get theireducation and a lot of them got
their GEDs.
A lot of them went on to gettheir AA degrees through the

(21:54):
distance learning and I also hadthe opportunity to start my
bachelor's degree, which throughMoody Bible Institute.
So it was all distance learningthrough the Moody Bible
Institute.
They would send me the classesI take it there.
My gd teacher would, um he'dsupervise me when I took the
test and then I'd take the testand get sent back in and um my
aunt and uncle had paid for myclasses so that I could take

(22:16):
this.
Um take take these coursesthrough the distance learning
and I almost finished it inthere and eventually I finished
it out here and, with yourbachelor's, I ended up in.
So in 2012, um, I ended upreceiving my bachelor's of
science and biblical studiesthrough the moody bible
institute.
Um, I didn't get to attend theceremony, but I did receive my

(22:37):
my degree 2012 congratulations.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
Yeah, thank you you know we talk about living a life
of purpose or a job that youlove, and I tell people, if you
do a job that you serve people,you will find fulfillment in
that job.
Yes, and you found a job inprison where you served people.
Yeah, you got respect becauseof it.

(23:01):
I'm sure you found fulfillmentby helping people and seeing
these people that know educationto get their GED.
A couple people, or a handfulof people or maybe more, got
their AA.
Yeah, you end up getting yourbachelor's shortly after getting
out.
That was a great day 10 years,three months when they say, hey,

(23:22):
joseph, you're done.
Yeah, did it feel like 10 yearsand three months, or?

Speaker 3 (23:28):
did it feel like a hundred.
Oh yeah, it was a long time but, um, I really looked forward to
that day.
You know it's got closer.
And one other thing to go backto.
The other thing besides thoseged classes that I got to be
really involved in was thechapel services there, and I was
the.
I was young but I hadopportunity to do a lot of Bible
studies and a lot of theservices God gave me
opportunities to share with alot of men in there, and that's

(23:49):
one thing.
I'm very thankful for that and,like I share with you going
back, they'll listen to you ifthat's what you're living and
that's who you are.
Authenticity yes.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
People can see authenticity.

Speaker 3 (23:59):
Yeah, I mean, we all have our faults and nobody's
perfect.
We all fall short, but they seethat, hey, this is what he's
going for, this is who he wantsto be.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
I like how you said it.
I had never heard this, but yousaid jailhouse religion.
Yeah Right, you know, all of asudden you find God because you
find yourself in a bad situation.
Yeah, you lived it.
Yeah, they saw the authenticity.
You weren't just putting up ashow for a couple years hoping
to get a free pass.

Speaker 3 (24:27):
No, you did.
The time, yeah, and the 10years that I was in there.
I've seen many go in there, dowell and then they come back
like hey, man, what happened?
And just continue to come backout and make bad decisions.
We?
All struggle and everysituation is different, but I
would see that often.
But then I also have a lot offriends, a lot of Christian

(24:48):
brothers that I still keep intouch with today, that are doing
really well.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
That's fantastic.
I like the idea that there wasthe tools in the prisons for
actually rehabilitation.
Yeah, you know, this issomething I think people need to
hear.
You have to make that choice,though they're not going to
force you through these things.
You have to say I want to dothis, I want to get my AA, I

(25:13):
want to study to get mybachelor's, I want to be part of
the chapel, I want to put Biblestudies together, I want to
help people in math, all ofthese things.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
It's a choice you have to make force you to do
that and you know I came home inNovember 2007, so things have
probably changed.
I don't know how the system isnow, but back then they had
different trades like HVAC theyeven they had that.
People take courses and I knowpeople that did well in there
that came out here and nowthey're being productive in what
they learned a different tradethat they learned inside prison.

Speaker 1 (25:46):
Yeah, we have talked to people one of my guests who
learned HVAC in prison.
Yeah, I talked to people one ofmy guests who learned HVAC in
prison.
Yeah, and that's what I thinkit should be.
They need to give people achance to make it on the outside
.
Yes, now also talking with youand reading your story, just
because you get out, societystill makes it difficult.

(26:10):
Yes, society still makes itdifficult.
Yes, I'm a firm believer.
Is, look, you do the crime, youdo the time.
When the time is done andyou've paid your pendants to
society.
They should expunge the record.
You know it's, it's insane.
Where you learn HVAC, then yougo decide I'm going to become a

(26:32):
contractor, and then thecontractor state license board,
you have to disclose yourfelonies and then you have to
petition and they may not letyou get your license, they may
not let you be productive.
You got out and you got work.
You worked for a blueprintcompany.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
Yeah, four months after I got out, a friend gave
me an opportunity to start as adriver for a blueprint company.
Yeah, four months after I gotout, a friend gave me an
opportunity to start as a driverfor a blueprint company.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, so you basic a basic bottom of the level job.
But, hey, something to do.
Yes, but you rose up in theranks there.

Speaker 3 (27:02):
Yeah, so less than two years after I started there,
he ended up getting promoted toanother.
He was the office manager theresatellite office here in San
Diego.
He ended up promoting to goingup to the corporate office in
Irvine and so they asked me if Iwould like to take over as
office manager.
So they promoted me to theoffice manager there satellite

(27:22):
office, like five of us there.
And so from 2000, end of 2009,all the way until 2020, when it
permanently shut down due toCOVID in April, I was the office
manager there.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
That's a good long run.
Nobody works anywhere that longanymore.
Yeah, so I was there for a good12 years.
You probably learned a lot inleadership and management.

Speaker 3 (27:43):
Yeah, a lot of communication, customer service,
and so it helped me for what,eventually, I would go on to
after that.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
So after COVID hits, destroys the whole world, nobody
knows what's going to happen.
Things start settling back out,the world comes back alive.

Speaker 3 (28:07):
You decide to take it to another level and get a
professional license.
Yes, so actually it was in 2017that I um, I had, I had studied
, prepared and took my realestate license tests and passed.
I passed it and after I passedit down there in mirror mesa, um
, you take, you know, you takethe test and then, once you're

(28:28):
done, they give you a paper andthe paper is going to say pass,
or if, if, if you pass it, it'sgonna say congratulations.
If you fell it, they'll giveyou your score and how you got
to get at least 70%.
So I got my paper, I opened it.
It's a congratulations, butwe're gonna have to something
about doing or refer the reviewand that for that.
The actual test at the actualtest.
So, because you have to do foryour so, because you have to do

(28:51):
for your real estate, you haveto do your background check, and
so they had that in the systemalready from my record.
And so, even though I got goodnews, I also got bad news.
You didn't realize you werestill incarcerated.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
The system was following you.
It was.
It does Any of theseprofessional licenses.
It follows you, yeah, and youhad to fight.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
I did Tell me that story.
So I got a letter in the mailshortly after that stating that
you've been denied your realestate license and you have 30
days to appeal it.
So basically, you know, somemight get in and be like, oh man
, I'm not going to get it, but Ididn't want to give up.
I prepared, studied and Iwanted to keep going for it, so
I appealed it and that was in2017.

(29:35):
In May, I think, is when Ipassed the test.
And it went all the way to June,where, eventually, I would
stand before a judge for mylicense, and before the judge,
though, I had to go toone-on-one investigation
background hearings.
They would ask me all kinds ofquestions, make you relive the
whole thing Exactly, andeventually I had to go stand
before a judge down in San Diego.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
The real estate lawyer that was there strongly
against me.
My wife went with me.
So an attorney for the realestate board, exactly, the
licensing board, yes, and justbasically saying absolutely not.

Speaker 3 (30:10):
Yeah, and I didn't have a lawyer.
My wife was with me but she wasin the other room and so it was
just the judge the one typingthere in the courtroom the real
estate attorney strongly againstme and myself and I had to
present my case and he presentedhis case and he was hammering
me and just telling the judgewhy I shouldn't get it.
And before that hearing, I'lljust share with you as well that

(30:33):
um, a former judge, he preparedme for that hearing.
He was actually a um, a, uh, alawyer.
Uh, he was a lawyer when I wasgoing through my um, I mean, he
was a um, he was an attorneygoing when I was going through
my case and I um, so, and heeventually became judge.
He knew my family.
He wasn't my lawyer for my casebut he gave my.

(30:56):
I had a public defender.
You know some some are veryexpensive, we couldn't get one
but I had a very good publicdefender that a family friend
had referred to us and she didreally well for me.
And this lawyer that knew myfamily, he gave her advice as
well.
So he was well aware of my case.
He knew my situation.
Eventually he became a judgethere at Vista and when I came

(31:17):
home he'd see me at the gymthere at LA Fitness and always
talk to me and say how happy hewas to see that I'm doing well.
And then when I told him aboutgetting my license, he told me
this is what you can do toprepare for that hearing Another
guardian angel in your ring.
So he really helped me to getsome.
Have a judge in your corner,get some things organized as far
as, like you know, showing myfamily, showing my work history,

(31:40):
showing my education, puttingall in a folder, having a copy
for myself, giving one to thejudge, giving one to the real
estate attorney so that whenthey're there at the hearing
everybody has has that and theycan see it.
And so the judge had thehearing was a good two hours.
I remember that attorney asking, asking me a question, saying

(32:01):
do you still hang around withthe friends that you got in
trouble with?
And I said yes, and he told thejudge see, he hasn't changed,
he's still hanging out with thesame people.
And I said well, you know what,just like when I was in prison,
there's a lot of evil, there's alot of bad, but I always try to
be a good influence to people.
I try not to let their waysaffect the way I'm going to be

(32:22):
and how I'm going to carrymyself.
And just because today I keepin touch with those friends
doesn't mean I'm just going togo along with whatever.
And they're doing as well.
You know, they have families,they have jobs and so they've
moved on as well.
They didn't go back like somany others have, and so the
judge had 60 days to decideabout if she was going to deny
me completely, if she was goingto give me a restrictive license
means that if somebody looks upmy license, it'll disclose my

(32:44):
record or a regular license.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
What did you think when the hearing was over, when
you walked out of the courtroom?

Speaker 3 (32:55):
walked up to your wife.
I'm sure she said how did youthink?
When the hearing was over, whenyou walked out of the courtroom
, walked up to your wife, I'msure she said how did you think
it went?
Yeah, what did you tell her?
I had a good feeling, becausethe court reporter that was
typing there she, um, she's.
When I was getting my stuff andI was getting ready to go, she
just told me you did really good, you had a really good,
authentic, I think so yeah youbelieved it, believed it, they
believed you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
Did they believe you?
Did you get a license?

Speaker 3 (33:14):
Yeah, so within that 60 days, towards the end of that
60 days, I received a letter inthe mail in June of 2018.
How long did it take you toopen it?
I opened it quick, I wasexcited, and it says that you've
been granted a regular licensebased upon the criteria for
rehabilitation within the realestate.

(33:35):
And so the judge she didn'tdeny me, she didn't get me
restricted.
She recommended I get a regularlicense and the board approved
it.
And I got my license in June of2018, while I was still working
as the office manager.
And then in 2019, january iswhen I hung up my license for
the first time, so I was doingworking as an office manager.
And then in 2019, january iswhen I hung up my license for
the first time so I was doingreal estate part-time as I was

(33:57):
continuing to be an officemanager.
And then in April 2020 is whenI got pushed full-time to go do
real estate because of thebusiness shutting down.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
Well, and then COVID presented an amazing opportunity
in the real estate market thatnobody saw coming.
I mean, was it?
2021 was a stellar year forreal estate, wasn't it?
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (34:18):
So you know that first year 2019, I did two homes
and I'll just share with youthat my first client had an open
house by myself for the firsttime in February, a month later,
and a lady had walked in.
She was come, she was a retiredchiropractor and I told her I'm
a new agent, this is my firstopen house, and she gave me a

(34:39):
chance.
She had already bought multiplehomes, she had plenty of people
that she could use, but shegave me an opportunity to help
her, even though I was brand new, and I told her.
I said I'm just starting, butif I don't know something I'll
I'll find out, because my mentorthat had been doing it has been
doing it for many years.
He was there and that firstsell he and my first sales.

(34:59):
He helped me a lot as far asgetting things done got a lot of
people in your corner.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
Yeah, they just keep lining up.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
Yes, that's fantastic you're blessed so, since since
then you know um after fouryears, because every four years
you have to renew your license.
So I've renewed it and thispast January has been six years
since I've been active.
I'm not one of those top agentsdoing all kinds of deals, but I
do average six sales a year.
My best year was 10,.
I closed on 10.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
Well, it's been a tough year for real estate.
It has Interest rates at anall-time not an all-time high,
of course not, but compared towhat people have been used to,
and all these people locked inat two percent, two and three
percent interest rates.

Speaker 3 (35:41):
You know they don't want to move, so the inventory
is really low.
But I will share thank God thatthis year it's been off to a
good start.
Good, you know, I had a friendthat had reached out back in
2020.
He reached out to me.
My partner Benny had reachedout back in 2020.
He reached out to me my partnerBenny Charles, who I work with
at Pivot Real Estate and hereached out to us because he was
moving from Virginia to comehere.
So we helped him get a home in2020.

(36:05):
And recently they were movingagain.
So he reached out to us and wejust closed on that home last
week.
So that was a good start.
And then yesterday, one of mybuyers, one of my, my clients I
had sold their home in theircondo back in august and we had
mo.
There was multiple offers on ahome that they really loved and,
um, the agent called meyesterday and said that they've
gone with our offer.
Oh, fantastic.
And he even told me.
He said, you know, your offerwasn't the highest offer but, um

(36:27):
, we have a good feeling for youguys honesty is critical in
sales.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
You're in sales yes and it it.
Honesty is one of the.
We had a podcast a few weeksago about sales and what that's
all about.
Authenticity comes up honesty.
People can see if you're justlying to them, if you're not
sincere, if you're just hungryfor the sale.
Desperation it stinks and theydon't want to give you the
business.

(36:52):
They don't trust you On one ofthe biggest purchases they'll
ever make in their life.
Yes, so you get out of prison.
You find out you're kind ofstill in prison when you try to
get your license.
Had to go see a judge again.
I guarantee you didn't want togo in a courtroom.
No, so you're standing in frontof a judge.
You got an amazing blessing byactually having a judge friend

(37:17):
help you review through the eyesof a judge.
That's huge.
Better than an attorney,because he knows what the judge
wants to hear.
You win the case.
You get an unrestricted license.
This is great.
You also are a guy who lovessports.
Yes, your dad and I believeyour grandfather were coaches.

(37:38):
My dad and my uncle Multipleuncles yeah, so growing up you
had your dad as a coach.
You're involved in youth sportsand you want to coach.
Yes, things are going great.
So, hey, let's go startcoaching.
Yeah, what happened there?

(38:00):
When you get the offer, you getan offer to be an assistant
coach, don't you?

Speaker 3 (38:04):
Yeah, so I started coaching our boys in 2013.
You have two boys.
We do have two boys, yes, 2013.
And you have two boys.
We do have two boys yes and um.
I also uh take going back alittle bit, um, because I came
home in 2007.
I got married that december2008 to my wife, sunny um, and
god blesses our firstborn son in2009 and, uh, that that was.

(38:29):
I thought prison was going to bethe hardest thing I ever went
through, but losing my firstborn son was the hardest I've
ever gone through.
What happened?

(38:52):
You know, in prison you have alot of time to think and I
always wanted the name Josiahand my wife had some
complications through herpregnancy.
At 20 weeks they had told hershe's going to have to go to bed
rest down at UCSD if she wantsto continue the pregnancy,

(39:13):
because they tried to push us toterminate but we didn't want to
do that.
We put it in God's hands and at20 weeks they said she had the
complications about 15 weeks andthey said if you make it to 20
weeks, then we're going torecommend you go to UCSD and
you're going to have to be onbedrest until you go into labor.
You're going to recommend yougo to UCSD and you're going to
have to be on bedrest until yougo into labor.

(39:34):
You're going to eventually gointo labor because you're going
to get like a fever.
You're going to have to have aC-section.
And so she went to UCSD and shestayed there for 10 weeks and
little past 30 weeks is when shewent into labor no-transcript.

(39:56):
And it was the next day at 4o'clock on June 4th, and his
lungs were underdeveloped.
He was having complications.
They had him hooked up to themachines and trying to get
things going.
His lungs were justunderdeveloped and things just
didn't go good and eventuallythe doctors just told us that he

(40:18):
wasn't going to make it and sohe passed away on June 4, 2009.
And I know that he can't comeback to us, but one day I'll go
back to him, because that's ourfaith that he's in heaven and
that's what we hold on to.
And so that's the hardest thingI've ever gone through through

(40:40):
is carrying his casket andhaving to bury him.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
It's the hardest thing for any parent.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (40:51):
And you know I don't understand why sometimes I would
think like it's because of whatI did.
I struggled with it for a while.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
You blamed yourself.

Speaker 3 (41:01):
Yeah, because you know what.
I was involved in takingsomebody's life in the fight and
so I had a hard time.
I was like man.
God did this happen because ofwhat I did, you know, and my son
, and it's something that stillcomes to mind.
You know, as times have gone on,I know that God's forgiven me

(41:24):
and all my son's in heaven.
And a year later, he blessed uswith our son, duke, in July
2010.
And then he blessed us the nextyear with Joah in 2011.
And so now we have, you know,two boys that are now 14 and 13
years old, and I also have astepdaughter who's 30 years old

(41:47):
and she recently had a baby boy,so we have a grandson.
He's two, and a half.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
And then she just had a daughter, so we have a
granddaughter as well, you knowI have some grandkids and um,
one of them is Duke and I don'tknow any other kids named Duke,
and when I read your son is Duke, I said wow, that's, that's
cool, yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:09):
So my wife, you know, when she thought she, she asked
about the name Duke and I likedit.
I looked it up, I saw themeaning it means to be like a
leader, and so we went to Duke.
His name is Duke Joseph Cardoza, and then we had Joah Pierce
Cardoza.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
So you're blessed.

Speaker 3 (42:26):
Yes, Two healthy boys , yes, and going back to that
coaching before I left, you knowI grew up playing soccer for
many years, played club soccer,played high school soccer where
my dad was my assistant coach atEskimo High School.
My Uncle, johnny, was the headcoach of Eskimo High School.
In prison they didn't haveweight to the time they took
them away, but we did a lot ofexercise in there pull-ups,

(42:49):
push-ups, dips.
At my last prison, where I wasat for five and a half years,
they had a good soccer league,played a lot of soccer in there.
Before I left I helped my dadcoach some of my younger
brother's team and I likedhelping the kids out and so I
knew that's something I wantedto continue to do, and so after
our boys were born and once theygot to about three and a half,

(43:11):
I started coaching at the indoorat Kit Carson and so I coached
them there for a couple yearsand then we went over to Francis
Ryan Park here in Escondido andI coached them in the
recreational program and theneventually I helped them there
with Escondido Heat as anassistant with their competitive
program Are they big soccerfans.

(43:31):
Yeah, they're more.
They love to play more.
They do have they like to watchit.
We've got a team now.
Yeah, so that's going to.
They're going to be followingthem.
As far as the professionalleague, I know the youngest one
he likes Real Madrid, and ouroldest one, he's man City.
Okay, go.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
Italy.
Yeah, so this coaching is apassion.
It is.
You're coaching your boys.
What a great thing for a fatherto do.
Yes, young boys need strongmale figures.
Yes, don't see that often insociety They've dismissed the
importance of men.
I think that's starting tochange.
They're starting to see howimportant men are in their kids'

(44:12):
lives.
You eventually get to a pointwhere you're offered an
assistance coach position,correct?

Speaker 3 (44:21):
Correct.
Yeah, so after the competitivecoaching them at the Heat, our
boys had gone over to the SanDiego Soccer Club and so I was
no longer coaching.
It's been four or five yearssince they've been over there
and so I was no longer coachingthem.
But then a couple years ago,when our boys were at Rincon
Middle School, I coached thesoccer team there for the last

(44:42):
two years, and so I got involvedwith coaching the middle school
kids there.
And then the head coach fromEskido High School.
He knew that our oldest wasgoing to be coming there soon,
so he had reached out to me tosee if I was interested in being
his assistant coach, and sothat was exciting.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
Yeah, your son's going there.
Now you get to potentiallycoach your son in high school.

Speaker 3 (45:04):
Yes, and so he asked me, you know so, before school
start or after school hadstarted.
They started on Monday andFriday before school.
For about eight weeks beforethe tryouts are going to come up
in November, they were doingsome morning practices for
anybody that wants to just goout there and train and get some

(45:24):
practice before the actualtryouts.
So I started going out thereand I was going through the
process of applying for theposition as well and one morning
I showed up there with Duke andI was going into the gate there
with duke for the early 6 30practice from 6 30 to 8 o'clock
before school and the lady theresaid excuse me, who are you?

(45:47):
And I said um.
She said are you a parent orcoach?
I said well, I'm a parent, buthopefully I'm going to be coach
mike's assistant.
And she asked me my name and Isaid joseph.
She said joseph I, I saidJoseph Cardoza and she said oh,
I'm sorry, I'm not going to beable to let you in here.
She said I need you to go standover there by your vehicle,

(46:08):
like your kid goes to practice.
Yeah, and there was a lot ofemotions going through my mind
at that time because I hadalready been involved with all
these youth for so many years atthat time, because I had
already been involved with allthese youth for so many years,
and now it was like, oh man,what's going on?
Now?
And it's because I was goingthrough my background check.

(46:28):
My record came up and they hadbeen notified the night before
not to let me on campus becauseof my record.
So you're still incarcerated.
Yeah and um.
And so she told me that thehuman resources had sent her an
email and told her that, eventhough your crime was 27 years
ago, based upon this seriousnessof it, we're not going to be

(46:53):
able to have you on campusbecause you're a threat to the
kids.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
Even after this history of working with them.

Speaker 3 (47:00):
Working with them through the, the stellar record
as a coach.
I mean I had assisted them whenthey were playing some Little
League baseball as well With theyouth soccer at the middle
school.
I had to get approval to theBoys and Girls Club which went
through and now they won't evenlet you watch your kid play on
the soccer field.
I couldn't go out there.
You can't be on campus.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
No, but you're not one to just sit back and take no
for an answer.

Speaker 3 (47:23):
No, you know I've been denied many times before
Time to go in front of the boardagain.
Come here, judge, yeah.
So I went home and gosh, Icouldn't wait to get home.
I was like man, I'm going toget home and call and see what's
going on.
And I made a phone call and thehuman resources for the SGU,
union High School schooldistrict said yes, because of

(47:47):
your past, after the backgroundhearing, we're not going to be
able to continue this process tooffer you the position as
assistant coach.
And I didn't just stay quiet, Ididn't just say, oh man, that's
a bummer.
I wish I could have done it.
Maybe in the future I'll beable to do.
I said Is there anything that Ican do?
Can I go in for an interview?
Can I provide any different,any additional information?

(48:07):
Every situation is different.
Is there anything I could do?
This that you guys can pleasereconsider and look further into
this?
And she was, she had, she wasvery nice and she allowed me to
share my story.
She allowed me to share whatshe asked.
What happened, you know,because they see a record, sure,
and that's all they see.

(48:27):
They don't see the details.
They have no idea what happenedor how has your life been since
then.
And so she allowed me to sharewhat I was involved in and how
my life has been since then, andwhat I've been involved in
today and continue to do.
And she said you know, basedupon what you've shared with me,
what I'm going to do.
I'm going to speak to a fewpeople and I'll give you a call

(48:50):
this afternoon to let you knowwhat we decide.
And she called me that Fridayafternoon and she said based
upon everything that you share,what we've decided is we're
going to give you five businessdays to turn in your work
history, your family,rehabilitation, education, any
support letters you have,anything you have that you can
provide to us, and so we canlook more into this.
And so I had already donethrough the real estate, I had

(49:13):
multiple letters of support, andso I I knew what I needed to do
again to provide and show themwho I am, and that's not, that's
not what defines me, and Iturned professional at this now.
And so, um, you know that,following Friday, I turned in

(49:34):
everything that they requested.
I took it down to the schooldistrict, I um, gave it to them
and then they told me that theywould let me know once they
decide.
I was getting a little anxious,because one week passed by, two
weeks passed by, and then thethird week, and I still hadn't
heard anything.
And so about three weeks later,on a friday, I was out in
phoenix with our boys becauseour oldest one had a soccer

(49:56):
event out there and and I got aphone call.
We were out by the pool area,we were just finishing up at the
pool area with his teammatesand friends and having a good
time, and I got a call from thesame human resource director
that had called me and denied methe first time, and she said
I'm just calling to let you knowtoday I have some good news for
you, and she says you know theboard, they had a hearing and

(50:29):
they've decided to approve youand to offer you the position
for assistant coach at EskimoHigh School for the soccer team.
And it was a good feeling, andyour boys were there to
celebrate with you, yeah.
So it felt really good to hearthat, because you know they were
going to give me a chance to dosomething that I love to do,
because for me it goes farbeyond the soccer field.

(50:50):
I want to help those kids offthe field, because I remind our
boys when I drop them off fromschool make good decisions,
because one bad decision canaffect so many people's life,
and so that's a big part of itfor me talking to those kids
Just remind them hey, make gooddecisions, work on your grades.

Speaker 2 (51:09):
You know, those things.

Speaker 3 (51:11):
I love soccer.
I want to help them with soccer, but more as human beings and
their character and how they'redeveloping for their future.

Speaker 1 (51:19):
Raising boys into men is a difficult job, yeah, and
you have a story they can learnfrom.
When did your boys find outabout your past?

Speaker 3 (51:34):
Yeah, and what?

Speaker 1 (51:35):
was that conversation like?

Speaker 3 (51:38):
And so that was just a couple of years ago.
Okay Cause I did not want toshare it with them when they
were three, four, five, six,seven.
I wanted to share it with themwhen I believe and felt that
they were going to remember,they were going to understand a
little bit more, and you didn'twant them to find out on the
internet either.
I didn't want to find out on theinternet and I didn't want them
to find out from anybody else,not because I was hiding it from

(52:00):
them, but I wanted to be thefirst one to share it with them.
And so, about two and a halfyears ago, we have a big yard at
our house and they're alwaysback there kicking the ball.
We have a couple goals andthey're back there practicing
and, um, it was time and I took,I walked back there and, um,

(52:20):
put three chairs there for thethree of us and I just sat down
with them and I told themeverything, told them what I was
involved in, I told them what Idid, things that I did being
drunk, being on steroids.
I didn't hide nothing from them.

(52:41):
I was open, completely to themand, you know, there was tears
shed.
But it felt good to share itwith them Because you know they
would see pictures and theywould ask, like my parents they
would would.
You know they would ask myparents like where's my dad at?
They'd look at these oldpictures and for 10 years I was

(53:03):
gone and so they would see thesepictures or videos and they'd
ask questions like where's mydad at?
And you know they never toldthem, but they were getting
older, so these questions werebeing brought up and I thank God
that I was the first one thatgot to share it with them.
Even though it hurt and eventhough it wasn't easy, it felt
really good to share it withthem and I remember at the end

(53:27):
they just said dad, we don'tlook at you like that, and so it
was good.
I just let them know.
Hey, just like I'm sharing withyou guys, you guys be open with
me, Talk to me, don't be afraid.
I don't care what you do wrong.
We're all going to mess up, butI'd rather you just talk to me

(53:48):
and share with me and not holdit in, because I'm still going
to love you the same.
Maybe I'll be upset, I'll bedisappointed, I won't agree with
it, I won't like, but I'm stillgonna love you guys, and so it
was a good opportunity just tolet them know like, hey, we
could be open with each other,talk to each other and no matter
if we make bad decisions, wemess up, we still have that

(54:10):
unconditional love for oneanother yeah, too many fathers
want to keep the supermanpersona yeah, their whole life
and and it's a wonderful thingwhen the boys, poor daughters I
had a son, um, when they'reyoung and you're superman, yeah,
it's a fun time.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
But vulnerability showing them that dad made
mistakes and consequences arereal we're always telling our
kids about consequences.
Not too many fathers show theirown vulnerability to their kids

(54:51):
and I think you learn a lot.
I think the children, the kids,learn a lot when their dad
doesn't make himself feel I'malways perfect, I made mistakes,
I dealt with the consequences.
Life is serious, but thepositive side of it, joseph, is
that you're able to also showthat you're a fighter, that
society sets rules and you'vegot to fight to achieve success

(55:19):
in your own life.
You're in jail.
You had a felony.
Sorry, you can't be a realestate agent.
Well, I'm going to fight andI'm going to get in front of a
judge again, where I never wantto do that again, but I'm going
to do it.
Hey, great, you're a greatcoach.
You've got years and years ofcoaching.
Oh, by the way, sorry, you gota felony.

(55:42):
Get off the soccer field.
You can't even watch your sonplay.
No, I'm going to fight.
I'm not going to just take nofor an answer.
Too many people take no as thefinal saying, the final verdict.
You know, most successes inlife are lined up with hundreds

(56:04):
of no's behind it.
All you need is one yes.
So you've got to be brave,you've got to show courage, you
have to believe in yourself andyou did that.
And that's a lesson that yourkids get to see and hopefully
take with them into manhood andlearn.
They're going to be told no way, more than they'll ever be told

(56:25):
yes.
But if you want it and you wantto be successful and you want
to win at life and not letsociety control your life,
you've got to be willing to takethe rejection but keep pushing
forward until you get the yes.

Speaker 3 (56:41):
There's a way.

Speaker 1 (56:43):
And what an inspiration your story is.
I am so glad that you were ableto come out and share it with
everybody.
We need more men like you,taking time to train up boys and
the youth to become good men.
This is a tough society that welive in.

(57:05):
I want you to share anybody outthere who wants a really good,
honest, authentic, caring realestate agent to represent them.
I'm going to pitch for you, man, because I would hire you.
I would want somebody honestwith me and in this real estate

(57:25):
market today, things havechanged so much.
To have somebody like you ontheir side would be fantastic.
Do you have an email that youcan share with anybody?

Speaker 3 (57:36):
Yes, I do so.
I have it's realtor, josephcardoza, gmailcom and um joseph
at pivot, cacom.
So those are my two um my twoemail addresses for real estate
reach out to joseph guys withquestions.

Speaker 1 (57:51):
Things have changed as far as the realtor and the
buyer-seller relationship a lotof different hurdles.
You want a professional on yourside, but you don't want
somebody who isn't on your side,who just has a fake smile.
This is the biggest purchasethat they would ever do.
I would trust you and I think,after hearing your story, I

(58:18):
think people are really going tobe moved by it and give you the
yes that you so hard, that yougo after yeah, and just another
thing I wanted to include as Ishare with you is since 2014,.

Speaker 3 (58:35):
I've been speaking at Respect Project.
Yeah, I read about that.
It's a project led by the SanDiego Sheriff's Department and
it's for kids that are kind ofmaking bad decisions and getting
in a little bit of trouble.
And in 2014, they invited me tostart speaking there.
And so then those two sheriffs,todd and Dustin, they wrote

(58:56):
great letters of support for myreal estate when I went to the
board or before the judge, andthey wrote great letters again
for my high school position.
And it's just, I enjoy speakingto those kids and sharing my
testimony, my story, with themand, for me personally, my faith
.
I always include the Lord in it, because without God, you know,

(59:18):
without his grace, this wouldnot be possible.
He's been on your side.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (59:22):
Look at the people he's put in your life.
And one verse that I hold on tofor me personally is Proverbs 3
, 5, and 6.
It says trust in the Lord withall your heart and lean not on
your own understanding in allyour ways.
Trust in the Lord with all yourheart and all your ways.
Acknowledge him and he willdirect your path.
And I hold on to that and list,like all these doors and
getting closed and slammed in myface and not giving up and

(59:45):
saying, man lord, if you know,please help me with this.
And sometimes it's going to beno and sometimes going to be
wait, not yet, but you know ifit's meant to be, I believe that
you know it can happen and, um,so I'm just thankful for, even
though I still face manyobstacles in this life and it's
not always easy and there'sgoing to be more denials I've

(01:00:06):
learned and grown through a lotof the different things that
I've gone through.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
Well, Joseph, I love your story.
Thanks for coming out.
I know this will be a blessingand an inspiration to a lot of
people.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
I really appreciate you, Ryan, for inviting me and
allowing me to talk and justshare a little bit about my
story and my life.
Fantastic Thanks, Joseph.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
You've been listening to Real People, Real Life.
Our passion is to have realconversations with real people
who've made it, Real peoplewho've made it who did it on
their own terms.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, catch us on Twitter or
X at RPRL Podcast and onYouTube at Real People Real Life

(01:00:55):
Podcast.
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