May 6, 2025 • 49 mins
Luck has a funny way of finding Monster Mark, often in the most unlikely situations. Whether he's accidentally gaining VIP access to the world's most exclusive nightclub in Berlin while wearing orange sweatpants and a Budweiser t-shirt, or hanging up on a famous rapper's freestyle phone call because he simply didn't know who E-40 was, Mark's stories hover between hilarious and unbelievable.
What makes these tales so captivating isn't just their outlandish nature—it's Mark's refreshing obliviousness to fame and status. While most people would tremble at meeting celebrities, Mark approaches everyone with the same genuine curiosity. This superpower of cluelessness, paired with his natural luck, creates the perfect storm for extraordinary encounters.
From accidentally walking into a gay bar called "The Monster" just to collect a matchbook for his branded businesses, to getting upgraded to first class by the CEO of US Airways after casually mentioning a bag fell on his head, Mark's life seems charmed by cosmic coincidences. Even his friendship with the podcast host began when they randomly met at an airport, only to discover they were on the same honeymoon flight to Jamaica, staying at the same resort, and eventually living just minutes apart back in California.
These aren't just amusing anecdotes; they're reminders that sometimes the most memorable experiences come from simply being open, kind, and unafraid to talk to strangers. After all, as Mark puts it, "If Monster can't fix it, we're all screwed." Subscribe now to hear more incredible stories that sound too outrageous to be true—but somehow, in Mark's world, absolutely are.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Welcome to Real People, Real Life.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
So, Mark, the last time we had you on here earlier
this year, we got so muchfeedback, comments about your
stories, so I thought we'd dosomething today and tell your
stories.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Story time with Monster.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yeah, so you're one of the best storytellers I've
ever known and on top of that,your stories are unbelievable by
the very nature of the word.
Unbelievable what the thingsthat happened to you.
So I'm going to hand it over toyou and let's start story time.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
All right, boys and girls get comfortable, get a
bowl of popcorn.
We're going to do a littlestory time with Monster Now.
Like I said last time, mysuperpower is that I'm lucky.
My opposite superpower is I'mvery clueless, like I could be
standing next to one of the mostfamous people on the planet and
(01:13):
not know who that person is.
I'm sorry, I'm from a differentera.
Okay, I'll start with a goodstory.
Every year, I go to Germany orEurope and I go on vacation and
I take a traveling partner withme, my good friend over 30 years
, eddie, which you know.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
We went to Berlin, germany, and we were going to a
water park.
Now this water park is thelargest indoor water park in the
world.
In fact, you can see it fromspace.
I can't even emphasize how bigthis building is.
If anybody knows anything aboutMoffett Field in California,
(01:56):
it's like an old-styleHindenburg blimp hangar.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Right.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
But on a scale where you could put like 300 Costcos
in it.
Put it this way there's a hotair balloon ride inside.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah, I saw pictures.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Unbelievable Indoor hot air balloon.
So I was going there and thatwas going to be our thing.
So we were going to go therefor the whole day.
So we went to a gas station inGermany with our rental car.
We had an Audi the whole day.
So we went to a gas station inGermany with our rental car, we
had an Audi and everything inthe car is in the metric system.
So if you want to set yourtemperature to your car, you got
(02:35):
to figure out what Celsius,which is 23 and a half degrees,
If you ever get in a car.
Problem is the GPS.
Everything on the dashboard isall in German.
Now you don't got miles perhour, you got kilometers.
We're on the Autobahn and youlook for that little symbol with
the little line through it andit means you just punch it and
you go.
So we tried to change it fromGerman English and we made it
(02:59):
worse.
I don't know what we did, butthe dashboard turned into.
There's so much little clutter.
It was cluttered.
So we pull in this gas stationbecause we've got to go from
Berlin to this water park, whichis Tropical Island Water Park
in Berlin, germany.
You Google it.
There's a whole bunch ofYouTube videos.
It's just insane.
(03:21):
There's sand in there, there'sa beach, there's hotels, there's
waterfalls.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
This is an indoor park.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
This is like.
You know how you go-.
It's 20 degrees outside, youknow how you take your family to
Turks and Caicos and you go toa private resort and you spend a
week there on the beach.
Just imagine that with a dome.
It's that big, amazing.
Okay, stop at the gas station.
Now, everybody's been reallynice to us in Europe.
The train station.
Let's be honest, you're anAmerican in Europe.
(03:48):
You're going to get lost.
You're going to get lost.
In translation, everybody wasso helpful with us.
No, no, no, you need to go onthis train, no, you need to go
here.
And I told Eddie.
I said, once we get back toAmerica, if I see a foreigner in
my country lost, I'm going togo out of my way to help him,
because they went out of theirway to help us.
So I said listen, we're goingto pull into this gas station.
We've got to gas up anyway,because we've got an hour drive
(04:10):
to this water park and we had adiesel sport utility Audi.
It was really nice.
You wouldn't even know it was adiesel and I said we're going
to sit there.
Everybody in Germany drives aBMW or an Audi BMW or an Audi
FYI.
In Europe, when you get gasit's on the honor system Pump
your gas, then you go inside andpay.
I don't think that would workout too good.
In America they say it's allface recognition.
(04:32):
The guy told me you'd make itabout six minutes down the road
before they'd arrest you.
So I'm sitting there, I lookover, there's an Audi Murdered
out, black on black S4.
Beautiful and I'll be rightback.
I'm going to go ask this guy ifhe could come over and just,
he's German, if he could changeour.
Go into the settings in Germanand find out where it says
(04:54):
English and hit the button andgo from Celsius to Fahrenheit.
We're set.
As I walk over, I look and he'slooking down at his car.
He's got a flat tire, and I go.
I look and he's looking downhis car he's got a flat tire.
And I go hey, do you need helpwith that?
And he turns around.
Let's just say this is a very,very interesting gentleman.
Face tattoos.
A guy you would probably crossthe street if you saw him coming
(05:17):
at you.
Well, I love people like thatbecause I think they're
fascinating.
If you've got a face tattoo,that's some mozzie.
Either you got so muchconfidence or you don't give a
darn about anything.
I got to talk to you and I saysyou need help with that and he
looked at me and he you can andI'm going to do a bad German
(05:38):
accent here, but you can.
You can fix that.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
That's your Russian accent.
Yeah, whatever it is, I'm notgood at it.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
And I go yeah, how do you know how to fix that?
And I'm like well, how do younot know how to fix that?
Listen, I know how to use myhands and I know how to fix
things.
I have a coffee mug in myoffice.
It says if Monster can't fix it, we're all screwed.
I says well, listen, here's thedeal.
You see that guy over there, mycar, and you change my stuff
from German to English.
(06:03):
You give me a sugar-free RedBull and I'll change your tire
and he goes all right.
So Ed, and here comes this guy.
Let's just say Eddie is not asopen to very interesting people.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
This guy's a scary looking guy.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
And you could put a link in to this guy.
You'll understand, his name isSven.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
We'll, we'll, we'll put the.
We'll put the link in on on the.
So I had a bmw one time and thejack points of an audi and bmw
they're all german, they're allthe same thing.
So he had one of them.
Little, what do you call thetire?
Little donut tire donut.
Yeah, the, I fixed his car and Itell him it took me 20 minutes.
I'm I'm pretty good at it.
I did it a lot.
When I go to the racetrack Ichange my tires on my car.
He gets done.
He comes over.
He's like, oh cool, I go listen.
Now this is, you can't go toofast on that little donut tire.
(06:53):
You only got like 50 miles, butsome people drive them forever.
He's like this is going to saveme.
I got a meeting.
His pocket, me and Eddie arestanding there, hands me his
card.
Come to my nightclub tonight.
I go listen.
We're not really a nightclubguy, we're going to the water
park.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
You ever been to this water park.
You're all excited about thewater park.
He wants to take you to thenightclub.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I'm standing in front of the doorman, for I wrote it
down the Bergheim, the Bergheim,bergheim, in Berlin.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
In Berlin.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
In Berlin it's spelled B-E-R-G-H-A-I-N.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
We'll put a link on that.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
It's the hardest nightclub on planet Earth to get
into.
Didn't know that, didn't knowit existed, didn't know there
was the hardest nightclub on theplanet.
This is their YouTube channelstelling people they actually
have potentially websitesdedicated where you pay money
and the guy will pretend to beSven, because Sven is very
ominous looking.
He either says nine or he opensthe door and he lets you in.
(07:58):
Okay, elon Musk was turned awayfrom this nightclub.
Conan O'Brien shot a bit forhis show, didn't make it to the
door, was kicked out in theparking lot before he even made
it to the door.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
And Mark's there, not having any clue who this guy is
, or this nightclub exists.
And Mark's excited about goingto the water park.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
It's more of a darky gothy, not S&M kinky, it's
interesting.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Okay, well, people can look it up online, and I go.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
We're going to the water park Because I want to
know about this water park,because I've been watching
YouTube videos for six monthsabout this water park and I want
to go on the balloon ride andit's just an indoor water park
and the guy's like no, no, no,trust me, come to my club, I'll
go, all right, but we're goingto the water park, thank you.
We get in the car.
Everything's in english.
I can put it on 72 degrees thespeedometer that we can now use
(08:55):
the gps, because before it waseverything's in english.
I'm like, oh, it was perfect.
So we drive to the water parkand we have an absolute ball at
the water park.
Literally, there's sunrise andsunset indoors in this water
park, so we leave late at night.
Now this nightclub doesn't opentill like 11 o'clock or
midnight, but it's open for 72hours and that's it.
(09:15):
People go in and they party thewhole weekend and then they
leave like Monday morning orSunday night 72 hours straight
party.
People come in with backpacks.
They're taking maybe not sleepypills to stay up.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
If you know what I mean I got you.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
So we go to the water slide park and we have a ball.
It's better than I've imagined.
It's unbelievable.
You get a little bracelet.
When you want something, youtap your bracelet and it's
unbelievable.
You get a little bracelet.
When you want something, youtap your bracelet and it's
amazing.
Let's just say the lockersituation is a little strange
because in Europe they're nottoo crazy about nudity.
I thought I was in the woman'slocker room because a woman
across me is taking off herswimsuit and I'm thinking I'm
(09:57):
going to go to prison becauseI'm in the locker room.
But Europeans have a wholedifferent attitude about nudity.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
They're a little bit more lax, they're a lot lax.
So let's just say, compared toAmerica.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
But there was changing Boo, but nobody seemed
to care.
And your locker has a littlebracelet and you tap, so we
leave there about I don't know 9, 30, 10 o'clock, because they
close at 11.
Unless you stay into the hotel,there's multiple hotels inside,
inside the water park.
Inside that look like Mayanruins, they have waterfall.
It's ridiculous, they say, ifyou stay in a hotel, the animal
(10:32):
nightlife gets a little crazy atnight because they got peacocks
.
What's the pink things thatstand on?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
one leg.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Flamingos and they start hitting and hauling
because it gets a little loud.
In the middle of the night theysay and there's a beach in
there.
Because I brought a footballand we threw the football on the
beach indoors in a building.
The hot air balloon ride wasbroken that day or wasn't
working.
I was very disappointed.
(10:57):
We leave, we go back to ourhotel and our home in Express in
Berlin.
We take a shower and we'restarving, but it's late, it's
like 11 o'clock and I go hey,maybe this guy's nightclub got a
restaurant in it.
We can get some sliders, somesliders.
I'm thinking I'm going to, youknow, tgi Fridays.
I go, listen, it's not too far,we're in Berlin, let's go All
(11:18):
right.
Now, mind you, I have orangesweatpants on a white King of
Beers Budweiser.
Thank you for the T-shirt.
You look very sharp.
Well, a white King of BeersBudweiser T-shirt.
I've been at the water park allday.
Hair's a hot.
How's my salad?
Is it banging?
You're looking great, Mark Allright, as long as the salad
(11:39):
looks good.
We look like we've been at thewater park all day.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
All we want is a sandwich.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
So we get the address , we punch it in and the guy
fixed our car so we now coulduse the GPS instead of the phone
.
And let's just say VerizonWireless 5G is a little sporadic
when you're in Germany, so theGPS in the Audi was good.
Now we get to this building.
The building looks likesomething Liam Neeson's going to
have to come rescue you from ifyou go inside and I'm like Ed,
(12:09):
this can't be the place Now.
Mind you, this is in December.
It's cold, very cold in here.
It's raining.
I'm with Eddie and Eddie, forwhatever reason, had a Kohl's
plastic bag in his jacket forwhatever reason.
Well, he decided that's hisumbrella.
See, he's got this Kohl'splastic bag on his head.
(12:31):
Oh, you guys must have justlooked absolutely nuts Like nuts
out there we didn't know wewere going to the hardest
nightclub in the world to get in.
Let it own.
It was a nightclub that I neverwould have went to in a million
years.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
You've got your sweats and your Budweiser shirt
on.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Listen to me they're not playing Led Zeppelin and Van
Halen in there.
And he's got a plastic bag onhis head, I got my hood on, I
got white on white shoes.
We walk up and there's a lineforever and everybody's dressed
like they're going to a gothconvention or like they're the
(13:05):
roadies for Judas priest.
Remember back in the day?
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Judas priest wore all that leather with the dingle
dangles.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I used to love that and then I realized that's the
whole nother thing.
Well, it's a whole nother thingthere.
And I go and I see the Audi guy, Sven, standing there like a
statue.
And I go, Ed, he lifts hisplastic a statue.
And I go, Ed, he lifts hisplastic bag up.
That's Sven.
There's a line, as usual.
(13:31):
I pass the line.
I walk up to this Sven glowingin orange and white and white on
white shoes.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Everyone's in black.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Everybody's in black, black lipstick piercings here
and he sees us and he he's likehey, you made it and we're like
you got food here.
He's like you'll love it inside.
Velvet rope walks us inside wow, he goes.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Listen to me, still don't know where you're at.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Still don't know where I'm at, but all of a
sudden I'm hearing in thedistance, which is not Monster
Mark's favorite music in theworld.
Let me tell you, it's just thattechno.
And I hate techno Becausetechno gives you the pounding
his head.
You know in demand, but you canhear it Because we're like in
(14:23):
the coat, check, and he goeslisten, we're going to put a
sticker on your phone.
You take any pictures in here.
I can't help you.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
They're going to make you disappear, basically, and I
was like okay, yeah, nopictures have ever been taken in
that place.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Ever.
So go to the coat check.
Eddie checks his bag.
So go to the coat check, eddiechecks his bag.
I check my puffy orange jacket.
That looks like I came from apuff daddy video.
People are looking at us like,well cause we're.
We stick out like well, yeahyeah.
Two sore thumbs.
Somebody checked a person atthe coat.
(15:02):
Check Like they're slave.
It gets crazier after that.
There's different rooms andthere's a level of shenanigans
going on in there.
Yeah, we won't get into toomuch detail, it's biblical.
Let's just say I was blushingand to make me blush, I'm a
(15:23):
United States Marine that's seensome things.
I was blushing.
We keep going to differentruins.
We find a place to get somefood.
In Europe they got these likehush puppy things.
They're called bitter balls.
Okay, it looks like you went toLong John Silver's.
You know those hush puppies.
(15:43):
Oh, yeah, they got the mustard.
Listen to me, we were starving.
They were delicious, I think.
We had some other things and Igot a sugar-free Red Bull and we
walked around and after aboutan hour and a half I'm like this
is not us.
We were exhausted.
Imagine you go to Waterstone.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Ballpark all day and you stick out like a sore thumb
and you're in white and orange.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
I have zero idea that Sven is like knowing Jesus
himself In the nightclub worldIn the nightclub world.
This would be like knowing theguys at Studio 54.
This happens to you all the timein your life.
I meet people randomly who areextremely famous.
So we leave and we go back tothe hotel and the next morning
(16:29):
we're at breakfast and the ladycomes over how was the water
park?
Because I've been tellingeverybody about the water park.
Sure, I said it was wonderful.
But then we went to a nightcluboh, what did you?
Go to the Brockheim and it waslike the band stopped, people
set their forks down and peopleall leaned.
You went to the Broncon and wewere like yeah, and they're like
, well, how did you get in?
(16:50):
And we walked in the door andthen she's like sir, do you
realize where you were?
And we went on YouTube andrealized that it's like trying
to get into Fort Knox or theWhite House you just nobody gets
in this place.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Nobody.
People wait out there for days,don't they?
So?
Speaker 3 (17:08):
my neighbor, a lovely couple is in the Lifestyles.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
They enjoy those types of clubs.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
She told me if she got in there she would handcuff
herself to something and wouldnever leave, Like her goal in
life is to get into thatnightclub.
And I left.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
That's her pilgrimage .
Her Mount Everest Is to getinto that club and she can't get
in.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
And we got in and we left you just walk in there with
a Budweiser shirt, some sweats.
And there's black lights.
I'm glowing.
You ever been to a nightcluband you wear white in your
shoelaces?
I'm glowing like the Messiah.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
And Eddie's wearing a plastic Kohl's bag on his head.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Well, they made him check his plastic Kohl's bag at
the door.
But we're in there and Eddiekind of likes techno.
So you know, tall Eddie, he'sjust like mm, mm, mm.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
And I'm like, this is outrageous.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
And you ain't young men.
I'll give you another story howI don't know who people are.
Yeah, I mean, this happens toyou all the time.
So Google this and we'll put alink up about this nightclub.
It's insane.
I don't recommend it.
I wouldn't go back again.
The music was too loud.
But listen, I'm really old, andwhen they say if your music's
too loud, you're probably tooold.
(18:27):
I'm too old listening, it wasn'tmy cup of tea.
For instance, in my business Iwas called by a person to do a
party.
Sure, I do a party A lot oftimes.
They do the overnight slumberparty package, because the last
thing you want to do is pick upa party when they're in
(18:48):
mid-sweet and after a certaintime at night it gets cold and
equipment's slow, hard, it'sdark.
So you just say, listen, we'llpick you up the next day.
You throw a nominal $50 fee onit for an overnight service
charge and you come the nextCalifornia and we were picking
up the equipment and I had anice gentleman working for me
young kid, so he's all into thenew.
(19:10):
Who's the hottest?
Like I watch these MTV MusicAwards, don't know he's into pop
culture?
Speaker 1 (19:15):
You don't have a clue .
Speaker 3 (19:16):
I still listen to my 70s on Amazon, I mean on my
music.
I go in the car and there's 70sand I like 70s.
He's an On Amazon, I mean on mymusic.
I go in the car and there's 70sand I like 70s.
Sure, he's an Hispanic kidbrown, he turned white.
I'm looking at him.
There's a gentleman behind mewalking up to me.
Kid turns pale, can't speak,can't form a word or a sentence.
(19:43):
All he's doing is this I turnaround.
There's a very large gentlemanbehind me Now I'm 5'8", 250 back
then and I'll send you a photoof this gentleman.
It's E-40.
Now E-40 is one of the mostfamous rappers.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
He's like Tupac rapper, but you had no idea who
this guy was.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
I don't listen to rap .
Speaker 1 (20:06):
And so you're just looking at this big guy.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
I looked at my guy and I go what is that?
And he goes oh, hey guys, Ileft my hoodie here last night.
I just came to get my hoodie.
He's lived next door to thisbig party.
I go who is that?
Tupac rapper?
Yeah, oh, now I go intobusiness mode.
You're a rapper, you got money.
You're right up my alley.
(20:28):
I walk over, I introduce myselfto him and I hand him a
business card and I say we havea deal where, if I put you on my
website in celebrity corner, uh, your party's free.
Because now a lot of people youknow love to see famous people
and it makes you look biggerthan you are.
So you give.
(20:49):
Sometimes you got to lose acouple nuts.
Sometimes you got to lose acouple nuts to get the bowl.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
So I said here's the deal, I'll do a free party for
you.
You take a photo with me, I putit on my website.
You can put whatever you wantfor the caption, but basically
you'll say for all of he wantedit worded a very specific way oh
, he's a wordsmith.
He is a wordsmith.
He said multi-platinum Grammyartist.
(21:21):
Whatever he said, e40 uses mycompany for all his events.
And that was it.
He walked away.
And then I got in the car and Istart well, who is this guy?
My buddy started playing.
I think his big song is SparkleMe, or Sprinkle Me, or I don't
know.
He calls me the next day.
(21:43):
Now I want you to imagine thisYou're in your car, your phone
rings and you go hello, andsomebody starts freestyle
rapping to you on the phone E40.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
But you have no idea.
I have no idea who he is.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
Was freestyling rapping on the phone and I hung
up on him and my buddy goes, whowas?
That it was the same kid I go,I don't know some crazy guy just
jibber jabbering.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Just rapping, freestyling, no idea, not even
saying hi Wasn't doing a song,he was freestyling my own, his
own raps.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Imagine Tupac called you up and freestyled and you
hung up on him or Jay-Z oranybody Right, and or Jay-Z or
anybody Right.
And he calls back.
He goes, hey, this is E40.
Why'd you hang up on me?
And I was like, oh, this damniPhone.
And he goes, hey, was that dealstill good?
And I go, yeah, he goes, allright, I'm going to turn you
(22:39):
over.
I'll have my party planner callyou blah blah, blah, blah, blah
.
And we end up doing a party forhim.
And he was been a client forfor a while.
I had no idea.
Now I like his music well yeah,he was fascinated, which a lot
of these people that I meet,that I had no idea well, these
celebrities get you know.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Treated so like you're, like your worker,
completely goes pale.
They don't know how to interact.
You're just a normal personwalking up to another normal
person, so he's not starstruck.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
So he asked me did you listen to my music?
And I said, whatever his famoussong was, it's either sparkle
me or sprinkle me.
But I said the wrong thing andI said, uh, sprinkle me.
And he goes it's sparkle me.
But you really don't know who Iam, do you?
I says no, but I I I said, canyou tell me what album I should
buy on on, uh, an apple, youknow, and I'll download your
(23:36):
album and I'll listen to it.
And I did.
And I love bamboo, which is agreat song, and he has a new one
with ice tea.
No, ice cube, snoop dog tooshort and him and they're like
big self-woofer in the bag.
It's just a great song, yeahyou were playing it earlier and
(23:59):
and he's.
He's in my phone, I have hiscell phone number and I never
abuse that thing where I go.
Hey, let's have some fun andtext each other.
I don't do that, I have.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Well, you just treat these people like they're normal
people.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
I have a very close friend in my inner circle who
works for a wealth managementcompany who would cut his pinky
off for the phone numbers inthis phone because, I literally
know everybody and I never abuseknow everybody and I never
abuse that power.
I never, hey, can I get intoyour concert, cause I don't know
your concert, I don't reallyinto that stuff.
So that they give you an idea,that's my E40 story.
(24:36):
I'll give you.
I'll give you another story.
I'll tell a story where youwere involved.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Oh okay, Well, here we go.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
This is 1990.
Help me out.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Because I had a mullet, two or three,
ninety-three.
Remember the mullet that mulletwas oh, you held on to that
mullet Way too long, way toolong, way too long.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
But I got more compliments from that mullet.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Well, listen, your mullet was epic, a work of art.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
It was epic, A work of art.
It was business on the sideparty in the back.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
We'll see if we can't get a picture of that.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
I think I can find something Okay.
I was in.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
I came to visit you because I'd never been to
Manhattan and I've always wantedto go to the Empire State
Building, so this probably waslike 94.
I was out in the tri-state areafor a job.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
You were in New Jersey.
Yeah, for a job for about ayear.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Edison, new Jersey, for about a year and you had
never been.
So I said, come on out.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
And part of our thing is we were going to the best
steakhouse in the world, whichwe went through.
That's another story.
Peter Luger's that's anotherstory.
That's a great story.
That's another story.
That's a great story.
So I come visit you and we goout for a night on the town.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yeah, and let me preface this.
So, as everyone heard earlier,he calls himself Monster Mark.
His nickname is Monster.
His first company was MonsterTile.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Every one of my companies starts with Monster.
Okay, give you a.
For instance, if I had a cardetail place, it would be
monster detailing.
I owned a pressure wash company.
It was called monster pressurewash.
Right.
I owned a tile and marblecompany called monster tile and
marble.
Every one of my companiesstarts with monster.
I've been called monster for avery long time.
That's a whole nother story.
I have friends that haven'tcalled me mark in 25 years and
(26:22):
he calls you monster I can'ttell you, the last time he
called me mark, it's becauseI've known him for 35 years.
He calls me Monster, everybodycalls me Monster, monster, mark,
listen to me, call me Linda,just call me.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I don't care.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
I don't care about names, or was I?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I lost my mind.
You come down to New York andI'm like, okay, I'm going to
take you to Greenwich.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Village.
I want to go to Manhattan.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Yeah, we're young, let's go to.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Greenwich Village.
We are young.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Let's go do a little bar hopping, maybe go to a club.
Let's go see what's going on.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
We're in a cab.
It's late at night.
I look out the window we'restopped at a stoplight and I see
the Monster bar.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Stop the cab.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
We're stuck.
We gotta go to that bar Becauseback then people smoked and
everybody had a book of matchesand a lot of people collected
matchbooks from different places.
For the love of God, ryan, wegotta go in this bar and get a
book of matches.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
You're right.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Cab ride over.
Pay the man Out in Z Go insidethe bar.
We walk.
Man Out in Z Go inside the bar,we walk in together.
Beautiful bar, spec Tacular.
I've been to bars in my life.
This one, whoever decorated it,spared no expense, no expense.
It was the most beautiful,clean, oak bar.
(27:44):
And on top of the bar you knowhow they usually have, like the
pyramid that goes up in thebooze bottles.
No, no, no, no, no.
It was the giantest bouquet offresh flowers that you could
smell.
It was spectacular.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
The bartender was a comedian, the funniest guy ever
Nicest, funniest guy you've evermet, and he had shoulder pads
on and I start messing with him.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Yeah, from like the 1980s.
But, I was dealing with acomedian and I go what's up with
those shoulder pads?
Because I'm like you don't needshoulder pads, I have this big
shoulder.
He goes it's my Wonder Bra.
I got it on sideways.
He shot me right up.
It was hilarious.
We in Ryan and Ryan, we loveSouthern.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Comfort.
Well, back in the day, Back inthe day before they changed the
label Because we used to dotrivia questions.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
On the Southern Comfort label I says two
Southern Comforts.
Okay, now when you go to a baryou get a glass, an ounce and a
half and I was like I like mineover and up, chill it, strain it
so it's cold, sit in the glassand we drink it.
I got and me and you got twotumblers Like he poured a
lemonade for us.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
We just looked at that and go what the.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
What the Is that watered down?
And I'm like, oh my God, thisis wonderful.
Fresh flowers.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
How much, sir Funny guy, four bucks.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Four bucks and I got a glass I could hold with two
hands of Southern Comfort.
This place is spectacular.
I'd go use the little boy'sroom, ryan.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
I'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
At this point we're holding court.
We're very popular.
For some reason we're extremelypopular.
We're like the hot chick at thebowling alley popular and I go.
I had to kind of part the RedSea to get out of the circle of
our new friends, everyone wasvery, very friendly, very nice.
Now, as you know, being a man,in the bathroom sometimes
(29:32):
there's troughs.
Yeah, the troughs, the troughs.
Women don't know about it,ladies.
They treat us like animals.
It's literally a trough, and asyou relieve yourself, they put
advertisements.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Sure, you're staring at the ads.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Above the thing Now, because this is YouTube, I'm
going to try to do this asdelicately as possible.
There was two gentlemen in thead.
It was an ad for safe sex andAIDS.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
AIDS prevention.
Let's just say there was twogentlemen not wearing anything.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Let's just say, in a compromising position one had
duct tape on his mouth or onehad duct tape on his ears.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
The premise of the ad was- Hear no evil.
See no evil.
Hear no evil.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
He didn't say he had AIDS.
I didn't hear him say he hadAIDS, so he must not have AIDS.
Right, and both of them hadAIDS, I think it was that was an
awareness campaign back in the90s.
Awareness, definitely, and I gooh my god, I'm in one of those
bars, a gay bar, not thatthere's anything wrong with that
(30:36):
?
Speaker 1 (30:36):
No, there's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I finish myself, I come back.
You became even more popular.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
I mean we're just having the greatest time.
We were like celebrities, youtoo, yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Now, mind you, this is thinner, younger Mark and
Ryan.
We were quite handsome backthen.
What happened?
Time's the enemy.
We go, I come back, I make myway into the inner circle and
I've got no clue.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
I go.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Ryan, you should go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
I don't got to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
Ryan, listen to me, you got to go to the bathroom,
mark, I'm having a great timenow For the love of God, go to
the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
All right, I'll go to the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
You go to the bathroom, you come back and you
got that same thousand-yard.
Look in your eye that I have.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
And then the whole everything, all Everything, all
of a sudden started making sense.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Everything started making sense.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
We're in a gay bar, not that there's anything wrong
with that and Ryan's like we gotto get out of here.
We're having a great time.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
I'm like you're like we got to get out of here.
We're in a gay bar, we're notgay, we got to leave.
I'm like have you lost yourmind?
We got fresh flowers, we'revery popular and I got the
biggest drink.
And what's wrong with being gay?
Let's say you date a guy thesame size as you.
You double your wardrobe.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
There's some benefits to it.
And then we started gettingdrinks bought for us.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Then they started buying us drinks and I'm like
you guys are trying to get usdrunk, huh, no, we were very
popular, At least to this day.
We left it with our dignity.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
It was a great experience, probably some of the
best.
Go back to that bar some of thebest people, the most fun and
and they, we, we walked in thereand they just they.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
All I wanted was a book of matches, which I got.
It's still on my desk and we'llput a picture of it.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
They had our number.
The second we walked in there.
What the heck?
How did I mean?
They just knew we were toostraight guys.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
The old ladies at costco handing out.
They just knew that we were twostraight guys.
We were as popular as the oldladies at Costco handing out
food, the good food.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
We were.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
More popular we were very popular and we were like
they're so nice at this bar.
Then I went and peed.
Oh my God, oh my God, ryan, gopee.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
That's such a great story.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
That is just some of the little things.
Let me see, I wrote some otherstuff down here, all right, how
about we talk about the timeTiger Woods had a little?
Speaker 1 (32:56):
run in with you this was the Pro-Am AT&T, Pro-Am gosh
1991, maybe Probably Tiger.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Woods wasn't tiger woods, he was the he was he was
just getting.
He just had probably won thethe amateur and he might have
been in the in the golf world.
Well, he was the pro in this.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
I think was his first year out kevin costa was his
amateur and so, of course, uh,we basically well, we followed
him because we grew I grew up insan jose he went to stanford.
Um, we're, we're playing, wegolf, we were golfers and we're
following this phenom, right, oh, we're gonna go see this guy
tiger there's jack lemon.
There's more but we wanted tosee tiger we wanted to see and
(33:39):
ryan finds him so we find him wefollow him once an autograph.
Well, and this is before he had.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Security.
I wanted a picture.
No security, nothing, no, no.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
So we're following him along.
And Kevin was cool, Remember.
He hit the ball right to us andhe comes talking to us.
Hey, how's Tiger doing?
I think he's going for it outthere.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Yeah, he was very polite he was so cool.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
So we head around to the 10th hole, so ninth hole,
they go to the turn.
He's gotta pee and and tigerbreaks out of the uh ropes,
right.
I'm like, oh, this is my chanceto go talk to him, get a, get a
picture.
And so I I go ahead and I losehim in the crowd and I'm walking
through and all of a sudden,bam, I get checked on my right
shoulder.
I look at the guy and it'sTiger Woods.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
He was heading to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
He's heading to the bathroom.
You were in his way.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
And he looks at me and he's like sorry, he kind of
gave me a nod, sorry, but he'smoving fast because he's got to
go to the bathroom and then getback to the 10th hole.
Well, I thought to myself, thisis my one brush with greatness.
He's got to come out this door.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
I'm sitting over there talking to Maury Povich Me
and Maury.
Povich are having aconversation.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Remember he's got no security.
I just go right into the publicbathroom right there, seemed I
had to relieve myself too.
So is my brush with greatnessright there, me and Tiger Woods.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
And I'm clueless.
I'm out there talking to MauryPovich and the guy from Tool
Time not Tim, I forget his nameAl.
I was chatting with Al too.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Yeah, that was his character name.
That was great.
But you know, the funnieststory that happened in that
program was with Joe Pesci.
You got to tell the Joe Pescistory and as everyone can tell,
mark's got a loud kind of uniquevoice.
I get a squeaky voice.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Sometimes my wife says I get really high-pitched
sometimes this was one of thoseoccasions.
Here's Joe Pesci.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
And this time he's at the height of his career.
I got a photo.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
The only one I wanted was a photo of Joe Pesci and he
was signing autographs.
He had a big cigar, I remember,and I remember he bumped into a
girl with ash and he's all.
I'm sorry, sweetheart, and Iwent in the most respective way.
You can Excuse me, Joe Pesci.
Mr Pesci, Can I get a photo ofyou?
And he pulled a cigar out ofthis mouth.
(35:58):
He looked me dead in the eyeand he goes are you doing me?
And I go?
No, Mr Pesci, I'm not doing you.
Sounds like you're doing me.
And I go, Mr Pesci, a lot ofpeople say I sound like you, you
don't sound like me.
Well, you just said I'm doingyou.
I said sure you're not doing me.
(36:18):
Sir, I have lots of respect foryou.
I love your movies.
You've been very interesting.
He thought.
I was making fun of him.
I thought I was.
He thought I was making fun ofhim.
Are you doing?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
me and then he goes.
So you always talk like that.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
I said I always when I get excited, I get a high
pitch.
My wife said I shouldn't dothat and I go.
And then here's that photo.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
And me and.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Joe Pesci.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
So, since we're on golf, Sure, one of my favorite
stories which we can tell now,since you're on your, I think I
know what this one's going to be.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
The first wife is now out of the question.
That was my practice wife, thatwas your practice wife.
That won't get you in trouble.
So, long story short, me andRyan met on a vacation.
We met at an airport On myhoneymoon.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
We're going to Jamaica for my honeymoon and I
Dunn's River Falls, dunn's RiverFalls.
And so I tell my practice wifehey, I'm going to go see if
there's a bar around and go graba drink because we had a few
hours to burn.
So I just walk and I see thisguy Don't know why Just seemed
like a guy I could walk up to.
(37:23):
I said, excuse me.
I said, do you know where thebar is?
That was the end of it.
Yeah, come with me.
I mean I'm like who is this?
I mean they just okay, who isthis guy?
Speaker 3 (37:34):
He just it's around the corner.
I had time to kill two.
We didn't know we were gettingon the same flight.
No clue, and so we ended uphaving a couple Once again had
no clue.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Yeah, had a couple beers and got to talking and
made fast friends of it.
Speaker 3 (37:46):
Next thing, you know, we're at the same resort.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
We're on the same plane, on the same resort In the
same hotel, the same everything, everything.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
So we hung out together.
Sure Finds out, ryan golfs, Igolf.
He'd been married about 36hours, 40 hours at this point.
Part of his wedding promise washe would never smoke a
left-handed cigarette ever again.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Which I never really.
It was an easy promise to mebecause it never worked with me.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
Me neither.
I'm not a big fan.
We decide we're going to gogolfing for the day.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
It's an all-inclusive right, so you could take little
tours Right, and part of theall-inclusive was hey, you can
go golf as well.
However, the caveat you have topay for a caddy.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
And I'm like cool, I hate carrying my clubs anyway.
Yeah, we got to walk this theguy at the hotel puts us in the
shuttle van, takes us to the topof this mountain.
Beautiful course, beautifulcourse.
Mind you, this is Jamaica,sticky human.
So we get our clubs.
We get two Jamaican caddies whoare the Jamaican version of
(38:56):
Cheech and Chong.
Yeah, it's the least Tall, dark, handsome gentleman.
Nice as can be.
Nice as can be.
It's tall, dark, handsomegentleman, nice as can be.
Nice as can be.
And we get off the first tee,we start golfing, we get to the
second tee and I had a verysmall Roach left-handed
cigarette that I was quite proudof from the night before that.
(39:18):
I was going to finish on thesecond hole and I said it's
Jamaica who's going to care.
I pull it out and my caddy goeswhat is that, man?
I said this is my smallleft-handed cigarette.
Throw it away, man.
What do you mean?
Throw it away?
Speaker 1 (39:34):
But he were excited about this all day.
He smacks it out of my hand.
That's no good man, and I'mlike, oh, you can't do this here
, yeah, but we're thinking, oh,we're going to get in trouble,
I'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Do you want anything?
And I go yeah, give me a Coke.
It was hot.
He comes back.
Do you remember the part inCheech and Chong where they
rolled that thing?
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
This thing was a cigar.
It was a cigar, it was gigantic.
It was a cigar basicallyBecause here you go, man,
That'll be $5.
Whatever it was, and I was like, and for the Coke, two by
whatever it was, and she goes,but we wait till we get a couple
holes out.
So the man don't want the manseeing us.
(40:13):
I'm like who's the man?
We get a couple holes out andme and Ryan partake in this
left-handed cigar Check out thiscigar yeah.
Let's put it this way After thefourth hole we became the
caddies.
We were so relaxed we couldn'tgolf.
So now I got a caddy, who's gotmy clubs?
(40:38):
Who's golfing?
Who's very good.
So me and Ryan are betting onour caddies.
Who's better?
We're having a ball and we'recarrying the clubs.
We're carrying the clubs andthey're golfing, because we are
higher than Jesus inspectingsatellites on the space shuttle.
We are, and it's humid.
(40:58):
You know when you get the weedsweats, it's hot.
And those Cokes the worst thing.
You could probably drink thatsugar Coke.
But that story you probablymade 40 hours of your wedding
vow not to do that and you didit.
And then we went back to thehotel and I think we had a rest
of vacation.
Come to find out, ryan livesone city over from me.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
We ended up living like 10 minutes away, maybe 12
minutes away, 10 minutes away.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
I lived in Campbell yeah.
Good friends ever since, eversince, and that's the story of
the golfing.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
We played.
I mean, we were so excited toplay a round of golf in Jamaica.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
We made it to the fourth hole.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Did we make it even that far?
Well, remember, the guy waslike we had to move a couple
holes out.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
And remember we had problems because they were
putting a new irrigation systemand our balls kept going in the
trench.
These guys were really good.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
We ended up caddying for them and we paid for them
and we bought them lunch.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
But I remember him.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
What is that man?
And I was him.
What is that man?
And I was like put the throw itaway man Done.
He's like that's not a jointman.
This is, like you remember,like in Crocodile Dunny, that's
not a knife, this is a knife.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
This is exactly what happened.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
That's exactly what happened, and it was just so.
That's some stories.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
Let's finish this up with one more Mark being dumb as
a bag of rocks, not knowing popculture, not knowing famous
people, on an airline flight oh,the US Airlines.
And you got it.
Just how it all ended.
Okay, and we'll finish withthis.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
My children were very young.
I live in California, myfamily's in Pittsburgh,
pennsylvania, so there'sgrandparents back there that
need to see my two children, aboy and girl, 17 months apart,
and I normally stay inCalifornia and my wife will take
the kids back to see thegrandparents, but it's tough
(42:59):
with two young kids.
I said, listen, I'll go backand I'll help you and then I'll
fly back by myself and then youcome back, you know, week later
because I had to get back towork.
So, as we're going, we fly toPittsburgh, which is US Airways
hub, and we're flying intoPittsburgh on the plane from
California to San Francisco.
There the stewardess opens upthe thing and a bag falls on my
(43:22):
head, cracks me right in thehead and I had a headache for
the whole flight and you didn'tlike flying at the time.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
And who likes flying?
I love flying, oh really.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
Oh yeah, let's just say I didn't complain because
usually everything works out forme.
And it hit me in the head.
It was an accident, no big deal.
I'm too worried about my kidsjumping around like monkeys in
the plane Right, you know, I'mtrying to Benadryl them up so
they're taking a nap.
So I come back a week early.
I go to the airport, I'm at theUS Airways gate, I'm at the gate
and I sit down in a chair likeeverybody else and I'm sitting
(43:56):
next to a businessman.
He opens up his briefcase andhe tanks out an aspirin and he
takes an aspirin and I go oh,can I have one of those?
Because, oh, you got a headache.
That's not.
With the way my luck's going,another bag's gonna fall on my
head.
He goes what are you talkingabout?
And I told him the story andhe's like you didn't complain.
I go, nah, everything.
I'm pretty lucky.
Everything usually works out.
(44:16):
There's a reason for everythingand it usually works out for me
because let me see your ticket.
And he gets up and he walksaway.
I'm like this guy just took myticket and I'm like he's old, I
could definitely run after him.
I could totally tackle this guy.
I'm good, he's up there and he'shemming and hawing.
He's doing this and that hecomes and sits down, Gets my
(44:38):
ticket back, gets a differentticket, hands my ticket back,
gets a different ticket,different seat.
He goes.
You're going to be riding withme in first class.
Let me introduce myself.
He was the new CEO, whatever,the new CEO of US Airways.
He just became it, wow, and hewas leaving from Pittsburgh, the
hub, to go all to the differentmarkets and meet all the people
(44:58):
and introduce himself.
I'm the new guy.
I'm going to turn the companyaround.
You know the yada, yada, yada.
So now think about this.
You're riding in first classcross country for six hours with
the new CEO of USR.
What kind of stewards did youthink they had?
Speaker 1 (45:14):
The best, only the best.
Speaker 3 (45:16):
They had the sexy redhead, they had the blonde.
They were spectacularlybeautiful.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
And the best food and the best drinks.
The best food.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
So I never rode first class.
I didn't understand that youget two drinks before you take
off.
Well, let's just say the CEOwas very fond of Johnny Walker
and Coke and I didn't know ifthey cost anything.
I was young, I was starting out, I didn't know what this cost
and I'm like well, I did whateverybody does, I'll have what
he's having.
So we BS all the way across thecountry and they bring you.
(45:49):
That's how I, to this day, Istill eat those almond
smokehouse almonds.
They toast them on the planeand bring them to you in a
little bowl and they're warm.
I was like next thing, I know Igot ice cream.
I had silverware, my salt andpepper shaker was crystal and
I'm like, once they shut thatcurtain, it's like the pole
(46:10):
comes down and the disco lightit's on.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
I'm not a very big drinker and you probably weighed
what about a buck 80?
Speaker 3 (46:19):
I was very thin back there and young, let's just say
I had several Johnny Walkers andCoke.
We land.
I'm like, hey man, thank you,this was, can I get some more of
them?
Nuts to go.
I was like, can I see thecontainer?
Yeah, blue Diamond, smokehouse,almond, perfect.
I'm going to Safeway as soon asI land to get some of them.
(46:40):
Amazing, we get off the planebecause I'm seat 1A.
There's a golf cart Picks himup.
I shake his hand, he's gone.
My buddy, my neighbor, waspicking me up at the curb.
Very nice of them, very nice ofhim.
I get in the car and he's rightthere.
We get about halfway home.
It was about a 40-minute drivefrom San Francisco to Campbell.
(47:02):
We get about halfway home.
It was about a 40-minute drivefrom San Francisco to Campbell,
halfway through.
He looks over and goes boy, youtraveled light.
And I went.
Oh my God, my jacket, mysuitcase, I was so hammered I
left everything on the plane, mybig thick leather jacket, my
(47:27):
suitcase.
Never went to the turnstile,just got off the plane, went to
the curb, got in the guy's car,left.
How hammered you gotta be.
I'm like, oh my god, we gottaturn around, but we're almost
home sure and I think this isbefore cell phones, or it was
they're very expensive.
Yeah, very I get home and I callthe airport and I go.
Listen to me.
I was sitting next to the CEO.
(47:49):
Within two hours, a cab came tomy house with my suitcase and
my jacket Because I said I'mnext to the new CEO and I guess
you know.
They didn't know if I wasimportant or not, but I got my
stuff back.
That's my once again sittingnext to somebody out of the blue
, starting a conversation, andthey embraced me for whatever
(48:13):
reason, and bring me into theirworld.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
It's amazing.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
And he was once again going.
You don't read the papers aboutme.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
You don't know who I am.
This has been on CNN.
Well, this is why want torelate to you, because you just
treat him like normal people heliked it because I didn't ask
him about his business, becauseI didn't know his business.
I was just talking about normalthings well, we'll finish it
with this airport or airplaneairport story, because you got
to get to the airport, I have toget to, and, um, this will be a
(48:40):
tease.
We'll see what the audiencelikes.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
There's many more stories.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
They have no clue.
I've known you for 35 years,the stories are endless, and
those were benign.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
I wish I could tell my.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
Oh, we'll go down the rabbit hole.
Speaker 3 (48:56):
My kidney stone story would get you banned from
YouTube.
And it is the most hilariousstory.
We'll figure out a way to getthe banned from YouTube.
It is the most hilarious story.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
We'll figure out a way to get the story out there.
Speaker 3 (49:07):
That is by far.
If you need to start a Patreonthing, are you going to pay to
hear the story, Because it'sspectacularly fun.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
We may have to do that for half your stories.
Well, Mark, let's get you tothe airport.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
You've been listening to real people, real life.
Our passion is to have realconversations with real people
who've made it, real peoplewho've made it who did it on
their own terms.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, catch us on twitter or
x at rprl podcast and onyoutube at real people real life
(49:44):
podcast, at RPRL Podcast, andon YouTube at Real People Real
Life Podcast.
Welcome to Real People, Real Life.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
So, Mark, the last time we had you on here earlier
this year, we got so muchfeedback, comments about your
stories, so I thought we'd dosomething today and tell your
stories.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Story time with Monster.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yeah, so you're one of the best storytellers I've
ever known and on top of that,your stories are unbelievable by
the very nature of the word.
Unbelievable what the thingsthat happened to you.
So I'm going to hand it over toyou and let's start story time.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
All right, boys and girls get comfortable, get a
bowl of popcorn.
We're going to do a littlestory time with Monster Now.
Like I said last time, mysuperpower is that I'm lucky.
My opposite superpower is I'mvery clueless, like I could be
standing next to one of the mostfamous people on the planet and
(01:13):
not know who that person is.
I'm sorry, I'm from a differentera.
Okay, I'll start with a goodstory.
Every year, I go to Germany orEurope and I go on vacation and
I take a traveling partner withme, my good friend over 30 years
, eddie, which you know.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
We went to Berlin, germany, and we were going to a
water park.
Now this water park is thelargest indoor water park in the
world.
In fact, you can see it fromspace.
I can't even emphasize how bigthis building is.
If anybody knows anything aboutMoffett Field in California,
(01:56):
it's like an old-styleHindenburg blimp hangar.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Right.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
But on a scale where you could put like 300 Costcos
in it.
Put it this way there's a hotair balloon ride inside.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah, I saw pictures.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Unbelievable Indoor hot air balloon.
So I was going there and thatwas going to be our thing.
So we were going to go therefor the whole day.
So we went to a gas station inGermany with our rental car.
We had an Audi the whole day.
So we went to a gas station inGermany with our rental car, we
had an Audi and everything inthe car is in the metric system.
So if you want to set yourtemperature to your car, you got
(02:35):
to figure out what Celsius,which is 23 and a half degrees,
If you ever get in a car.
Problem is the GPS.
Everything on the dashboard isall in German.
Now you don't got miles perhour, you got kilometers.
We're on the Autobahn and youlook for that little symbol with
the little line through it andit means you just punch it and
you go.
So we tried to change it fromGerman English and we made it
(02:59):
worse.
I don't know what we did, butthe dashboard turned into.
There's so much little clutter.
It was cluttered.
So we pull in this gas stationbecause we've got to go from
Berlin to this water park, whichis Tropical Island Water Park
in Berlin, germany.
You Google it.
There's a whole bunch ofYouTube videos.
It's just insane.
(03:21):
There's sand in there, there'sa beach, there's hotels, there's
waterfalls.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
This is an indoor park.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
This is like.
You know how you go-.
It's 20 degrees outside, youknow how you take your family to
Turks and Caicos and you go toa private resort and you spend a
week there on the beach.
Just imagine that with a dome.
It's that big, amazing.
Okay, stop at the gas station.
Now, everybody's been reallynice to us in Europe.
The train station.
Let's be honest, you're anAmerican in Europe.
(03:48):
You're going to get lost.
You're going to get lost.
In translation, everybody wasso helpful with us.
No, no, no, you need to go onthis train, no, you need to go
here.
And I told Eddie.
I said, once we get back toAmerica, if I see a foreigner in
my country lost, I'm going togo out of my way to help him,
because they went out of theirway to help us.
So I said listen, we're goingto pull into this gas station.
We've got to gas up anyway,because we've got an hour drive
(04:10):
to this water park and we had adiesel sport utility Audi.
It was really nice.
You wouldn't even know it was adiesel and I said we're going
to sit there.
Everybody in Germany drives aBMW or an Audi BMW or an Audi
FYI.
In Europe, when you get gasit's on the honor system Pump
your gas, then you go inside andpay.
I don't think that would workout too good.
In America they say it's allface recognition.
(04:32):
The guy told me you'd make itabout six minutes down the road
before they'd arrest you.
So I'm sitting there, I lookover, there's an Audi Murdered
out, black on black S4.
Beautiful and I'll be rightback.
I'm going to go ask this guy ifhe could come over and just,
he's German, if he could changeour.
Go into the settings in Germanand find out where it says
(04:54):
English and hit the button andgo from Celsius to Fahrenheit.
We're set.
As I walk over, I look and he'slooking down at his car.
He's got a flat tire, and I go.
I look and he's looking downhis car he's got a flat tire.
And I go hey, do you need helpwith that?
And he turns around.
Let's just say this is a very,very interesting gentleman.
Face tattoos.
A guy you would probably crossthe street if you saw him coming
(05:17):
at you.
Well, I love people like thatbecause I think they're
fascinating.
If you've got a face tattoo,that's some mozzie.
Either you got so muchconfidence or you don't give a
darn about anything.
I got to talk to you and I saysyou need help with that and he
looked at me and he you can andI'm going to do a bad German
(05:38):
accent here, but you can.
You can fix that.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
That's your Russian accent.
Yeah, whatever it is, I'm notgood at it.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
And I go yeah, how do you know how to fix that?
And I'm like well, how do younot know how to fix that?
Listen, I know how to use myhands and I know how to fix
things.
I have a coffee mug in myoffice.
It says if Monster can't fix it, we're all screwed.
I says well, listen, here's thedeal.
You see that guy over there, mycar, and you change my stuff
from German to English.
(06:03):
You give me a sugar-free RedBull and I'll change your tire
and he goes all right.
So Ed, and here comes this guy.
Let's just say Eddie is not asopen to very interesting people.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
This guy's a scary looking guy.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
And you could put a link in to this guy.
You'll understand, his name isSven.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
We'll, we'll, we'll put the.
We'll put the link in on on the.
So I had a bmw one time and thejack points of an audi and bmw
they're all german, they're allthe same thing.
So he had one of them.
Little, what do you call thetire?
Little donut tire donut.
Yeah, the, I fixed his car and Itell him it took me 20 minutes.
I'm I'm pretty good at it.
I did it a lot.
When I go to the racetrack Ichange my tires on my car.
He gets done.
He comes over.
He's like, oh cool, I go listen.
Now this is, you can't go toofast on that little donut tire.
(06:53):
You only got like 50 miles, butsome people drive them forever.
He's like this is going to saveme.
I got a meeting.
His pocket, me and Eddie arestanding there, hands me his
card.
Come to my nightclub tonight.
I go listen.
We're not really a nightclubguy, we're going to the water
park.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
You ever been to this water park.
You're all excited about thewater park.
He wants to take you to thenightclub.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I'm standing in front of the doorman, for I wrote it
down the Bergheim, the Bergheim,bergheim, in Berlin.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
In Berlin.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
In Berlin it's spelled B-E-R-G-H-A-I-N.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
We'll put a link on that.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
It's the hardest nightclub on planet Earth to get
into.
Didn't know that, didn't knowit existed, didn't know there
was the hardest nightclub on theplanet.
This is their YouTube channelstelling people they actually
have potentially websitesdedicated where you pay money
and the guy will pretend to beSven, because Sven is very
ominous looking.
He either says nine or he opensthe door and he lets you in.
(07:58):
Okay, elon Musk was turned awayfrom this nightclub.
Conan O'Brien shot a bit forhis show, didn't make it to the
door, was kicked out in theparking lot before he even made
it to the door.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
And Mark's there, not having any clue who this guy is
, or this nightclub exists.
And Mark's excited about goingto the water park.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
It's more of a darky gothy, not S&M kinky, it's
interesting.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Okay, well, people can look it up online, and I go.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
We're going to the water park Because I want to
know about this water park,because I've been watching
YouTube videos for six monthsabout this water park and I want
to go on the balloon ride andit's just an indoor water park
and the guy's like no, no, no,trust me, come to my club, I'll
go, all right, but we're goingto the water park, thank you.
We get in the car.
Everything's in english.
I can put it on 72 degrees thespeedometer that we can now use
(08:55):
the gps, because before it waseverything's in english.
I'm like, oh, it was perfect.
So we drive to the water parkand we have an absolute ball at
the water park.
Literally, there's sunrise andsunset indoors in this water
park, so we leave late at night.
Now this nightclub doesn't opentill like 11 o'clock or
midnight, but it's open for 72hours and that's it.
(09:15):
People go in and they party thewhole weekend and then they
leave like Monday morning orSunday night 72 hours straight
party.
People come in with backpacks.
They're taking maybe not sleepypills to stay up.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
If you know what I mean I got you.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
So we go to the water slide park and we have a ball.
It's better than I've imagined.
It's unbelievable.
You get a little bracelet.
When you want something, youtap your bracelet and it's
unbelievable.
You get a little bracelet.
When you want something, youtap your bracelet and it's
amazing.
Let's just say the lockersituation is a little strange
because in Europe they're nottoo crazy about nudity.
I thought I was in the woman'slocker room because a woman
across me is taking off herswimsuit and I'm thinking I'm
(09:57):
going to go to prison becauseI'm in the locker room.
But Europeans have a wholedifferent attitude about nudity.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
They're a little bit more lax, they're a lot lax.
So let's just say, compared toAmerica.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
But there was changing Boo, but nobody seemed
to care.
And your locker has a littlebracelet and you tap, so we
leave there about I don't know 9, 30, 10 o'clock, because they
close at 11.
Unless you stay into the hotel,there's multiple hotels inside,
inside the water park.
Inside that look like Mayanruins, they have waterfall.
It's ridiculous, they say, ifyou stay in a hotel, the animal
(10:32):
nightlife gets a little crazy atnight because they got peacocks
.
What's the pink things thatstand on?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
one leg.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Flamingos and they start hitting and hauling
because it gets a little loud.
In the middle of the night theysay and there's a beach in
there.
Because I brought a footballand we threw the football on the
beach indoors in a building.
The hot air balloon ride wasbroken that day or wasn't
working.
I was very disappointed.
(10:57):
We leave, we go back to ourhotel and our home in Express in
Berlin.
We take a shower and we'restarving, but it's late, it's
like 11 o'clock and I go hey,maybe this guy's nightclub got a
restaurant in it.
We can get some sliders, somesliders.
I'm thinking I'm going to, youknow, tgi Fridays.
I go, listen, it's not too far,we're in Berlin, let's go All
(11:18):
right.
Now, mind you, I have orangesweatpants on a white King of
Beers Budweiser.
Thank you for the T-shirt.
You look very sharp.
Well, a white King of BeersBudweiser T-shirt.
I've been at the water park allday.
Hair's a hot.
How's my salad?
Is it banging?
You're looking great, Mark Allright, as long as the salad
(11:39):
looks good.
We look like we've been at thewater park all day.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
All we want is a sandwich.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
So we get the address , we punch it in and the guy
fixed our car so we now coulduse the GPS instead of the phone
.
And let's just say VerizonWireless 5G is a little sporadic
when you're in Germany, so theGPS in the Audi was good.
Now we get to this building.
The building looks likesomething Liam Neeson's going to
have to come rescue you from ifyou go inside and I'm like Ed,
(12:09):
this can't be the place Now.
Mind you, this is in December.
It's cold, very cold in here.
It's raining.
I'm with Eddie and Eddie, forwhatever reason, had a Kohl's
plastic bag in his jacket forwhatever reason.
Well, he decided that's hisumbrella.
See, he's got this Kohl'splastic bag on his head.
(12:31):
Oh, you guys must have justlooked absolutely nuts Like nuts
out there we didn't know wewere going to the hardest
nightclub in the world to get in.
Let it own.
It was a nightclub that I neverwould have went to in a million
years.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
You've got your sweats and your Budweiser shirt
on.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Listen to me they're not playing Led Zeppelin and Van
Halen in there.
And he's got a plastic bag onhis head, I got my hood on, I
got white on white shoes.
We walk up and there's a lineforever and everybody's dressed
like they're going to a gothconvention or like they're the
(13:05):
roadies for Judas priest.
Remember back in the day?
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Judas priest wore all that leather with the dingle
dangles.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I used to love that and then I realized that's the
whole nother thing.
Well, it's a whole nother thingthere.
And I go and I see the Audi guy, Sven, standing there like a
statue.
And I go, Ed, he lifts hisplastic a statue.
And I go, Ed, he lifts hisplastic bag up.
That's Sven.
There's a line, as usual.
(13:31):
I pass the line.
I walk up to this Sven glowingin orange and white and white on
white shoes.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Everyone's in black.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Everybody's in black, black lipstick piercings here
and he sees us and he he's likehey, you made it and we're like
you got food here.
He's like you'll love it inside.
Velvet rope walks us inside wow, he goes.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Listen to me, still don't know where you're at.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Still don't know where I'm at, but all of a
sudden I'm hearing in thedistance, which is not Monster
Mark's favorite music in theworld.
Let me tell you, it's just thattechno.
And I hate techno Becausetechno gives you the pounding
his head.
You know in demand, but you canhear it Because we're like in
(14:23):
the coat, check, and he goeslisten, we're going to put a
sticker on your phone.
You take any pictures in here.
I can't help you.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
They're going to make you disappear, basically, and I
was like okay, yeah, nopictures have ever been taken in
that place.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Ever.
So go to the coat check.
Eddie checks his bag.
So go to the coat check, eddiechecks his bag.
I check my puffy orange jacket.
That looks like I came from apuff daddy video.
People are looking at us like,well cause we're.
We stick out like well, yeahyeah.
Two sore thumbs.
Somebody checked a person atthe coat.
(15:02):
Check Like they're slave.
It gets crazier after that.
There's different rooms andthere's a level of shenanigans
going on in there.
Yeah, we won't get into toomuch detail, it's biblical.
Let's just say I was blushingand to make me blush, I'm a
(15:23):
United States Marine that's seensome things.
I was blushing.
We keep going to differentruins.
We find a place to get somefood.
In Europe they got these likehush puppy things.
They're called bitter balls.
Okay, it looks like you went toLong John Silver's.
You know those hush puppies.
(15:43):
Oh, yeah, they got the mustard.
Listen to me, we were starving.
They were delicious, I think.
We had some other things and Igot a sugar-free Red Bull and we
walked around and after aboutan hour and a half I'm like this
is not us.
We were exhausted.
Imagine you go to Waterstone.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Ballpark all day and you stick out like a sore thumb
and you're in white and orange.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
I have zero idea that Sven is like knowing Jesus
himself In the nightclub worldIn the nightclub world.
This would be like knowing theguys at Studio 54.
This happens to you all the timein your life.
I meet people randomly who areextremely famous.
So we leave and we go back tothe hotel and the next morning
(16:29):
we're at breakfast and the ladycomes over how was the water
park?
Because I've been tellingeverybody about the water park.
Sure, I said it was wonderful.
But then we went to a nightcluboh, what did you?
Go to the Brockheim and it waslike the band stopped, people
set their forks down and peopleall leaned.
You went to the Broncon and wewere like yeah, and they're like
, well, how did you get in?
(16:50):
And we walked in the door andthen she's like sir, do you
realize where you were?
And we went on YouTube andrealized that it's like trying
to get into Fort Knox or theWhite House you just nobody gets
in this place.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Nobody.
People wait out there for days,don't they?
So?
Speaker 3 (17:08):
my neighbor, a lovely couple is in the Lifestyles.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
They enjoy those types of clubs.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
She told me if she got in there she would handcuff
herself to something and wouldnever leave, Like her goal in
life is to get into thatnightclub.
And I left.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
That's her pilgrimage .
Her Mount Everest Is to getinto that club and she can't get
in.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
And we got in and we left you just walk in there with
a Budweiser shirt, some sweats.
And there's black lights.
I'm glowing.
You ever been to a nightcluband you wear white in your
shoelaces?
I'm glowing like the Messiah.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
And Eddie's wearing a plastic Kohl's bag on his head.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Well, they made him check his plastic Kohl's bag at
the door.
But we're in there and Eddiekind of likes techno.
So you know, tall Eddie, he'sjust like mm, mm, mm.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
And I'm like, this is outrageous.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
And you ain't young men.
I'll give you another story howI don't know who people are.
Yeah, I mean, this happens toyou all the time.
So Google this and we'll put alink up about this nightclub.
It's insane.
I don't recommend it.
I wouldn't go back again.
The music was too loud.
But listen, I'm really old, andwhen they say if your music's
too loud, you're probably tooold.
(18:27):
I'm too old listening, it wasn'tmy cup of tea.
For instance, in my business Iwas called by a person to do a
party.
Sure, I do a party A lot oftimes.
They do the overnight slumberparty package, because the last
thing you want to do is pick upa party when they're in
(18:48):
mid-sweet and after a certaintime at night it gets cold and
equipment's slow, hard, it'sdark.
So you just say, listen, we'llpick you up the next day.
You throw a nominal $50 fee onit for an overnight service
charge and you come the nextCalifornia and we were picking
up the equipment and I had anice gentleman working for me
young kid, so he's all into thenew.
(19:10):
Who's the hottest?
Like I watch these MTV MusicAwards, don't know he's into pop
culture?
Speaker 1 (19:15):
You don't have a clue .
Speaker 3 (19:16):
I still listen to my 70s on Amazon, I mean on my
music.
I go in the car and there's 70sand I like 70s.
He's an On Amazon, I mean on mymusic.
I go in the car and there's 70sand I like 70s.
Sure, he's an Hispanic kidbrown, he turned white.
I'm looking at him.
There's a gentleman behind mewalking up to me.
Kid turns pale, can't speak,can't form a word or a sentence.
(19:43):
All he's doing is this I turnaround.
There's a very large gentlemanbehind me Now I'm 5'8", 250 back
then and I'll send you a photoof this gentleman.
It's E-40.
Now E-40 is one of the mostfamous rappers.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
He's like Tupac rapper, but you had no idea who
this guy was.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
I don't listen to rap .
Speaker 1 (20:06):
And so you're just looking at this big guy.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
I looked at my guy and I go what is that?
And he goes oh, hey guys, Ileft my hoodie here last night.
I just came to get my hoodie.
He's lived next door to thisbig party.
I go who is that?
Tupac rapper?
Yeah, oh, now I go intobusiness mode.
You're a rapper, you got money.
You're right up my alley.
(20:28):
I walk over, I introduce myselfto him and I hand him a
business card and I say we havea deal where, if I put you on my
website in celebrity corner, uh, your party's free.
Because now a lot of people youknow love to see famous people
and it makes you look biggerthan you are.
So you give.
(20:49):
Sometimes you got to lose acouple nuts.
Sometimes you got to lose acouple nuts to get the bowl.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
So I said here's the deal, I'll do a free party for
you.
You take a photo with me, I putit on my website.
You can put whatever you wantfor the caption, but basically
you'll say for all of he wantedit worded a very specific way oh
, he's a wordsmith.
He is a wordsmith.
He said multi-platinum Grammyartist.
(21:21):
Whatever he said, e40 uses mycompany for all his events.
And that was it.
He walked away.
And then I got in the car and Istart well, who is this guy?
My buddy started playing.
I think his big song is SparkleMe, or Sprinkle Me, or I don't
know.
He calls me the next day.
(21:43):
Now I want you to imagine thisYou're in your car, your phone
rings and you go hello, andsomebody starts freestyle
rapping to you on the phone E40.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
But you have no idea.
I have no idea who he is.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
Was freestyling rapping on the phone and I hung
up on him and my buddy goes, whowas?
That it was the same kid I go,I don't know some crazy guy just
jibber jabbering.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Just rapping, freestyling, no idea, not even
saying hi Wasn't doing a song,he was freestyling my own, his
own raps.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Imagine Tupac called you up and freestyled and you
hung up on him or Jay-Z oranybody Right, and or Jay-Z or
anybody Right.
And he calls back.
He goes, hey, this is E40.
Why'd you hang up on me?
And I was like, oh, this damniPhone.
And he goes, hey, was that dealstill good?
And I go, yeah, he goes, allright, I'm going to turn you
(22:39):
over.
I'll have my party planner callyou blah blah, blah, blah, blah
.
And we end up doing a party forhim.
And he was been a client forfor a while.
I had no idea.
Now I like his music well yeah,he was fascinated, which a lot
of these people that I meet,that I had no idea well, these
celebrities get you know.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Treated so like you're, like your worker,
completely goes pale.
They don't know how to interact.
You're just a normal personwalking up to another normal
person, so he's not starstruck.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
So he asked me did you listen to my music?
And I said, whatever his famoussong was, it's either sparkle
me or sprinkle me.
But I said the wrong thing andI said, uh, sprinkle me.
And he goes it's sparkle me.
But you really don't know who Iam, do you?
I says no, but I I I said, canyou tell me what album I should
buy on on, uh, an apple, youknow, and I'll download your
(23:36):
album and I'll listen to it.
And I did.
And I love bamboo, which is agreat song, and he has a new one
with ice tea.
No, ice cube, snoop dog tooshort and him and they're like
big self-woofer in the bag.
It's just a great song, yeahyou were playing it earlier and
(23:59):
and he's.
He's in my phone, I have hiscell phone number and I never
abuse that thing where I go.
Hey, let's have some fun andtext each other.
I don't do that, I have.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Well, you just treat these people like they're normal
people.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
I have a very close friend in my inner circle who
works for a wealth managementcompany who would cut his pinky
off for the phone numbers inthis phone because, I literally
know everybody and I never abuseknow everybody and I never
abuse that power.
I never, hey, can I get intoyour concert, cause I don't know
your concert, I don't reallyinto that stuff.
So that they give you an idea,that's my E40 story.
(24:36):
I'll give you.
I'll give you another story.
I'll tell a story where youwere involved.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Oh okay, Well, here we go.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
This is 1990.
Help me out.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Because I had a mullet, two or three,
ninety-three.
Remember the mullet that mulletwas oh, you held on to that
mullet Way too long, way toolong, way too long.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
But I got more compliments from that mullet.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Well, listen, your mullet was epic, a work of art.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
It was epic, A work of art.
It was business on the sideparty in the back.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
We'll see if we can't get a picture of that.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
I think I can find something Okay.
I was in.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
I came to visit you because I'd never been to
Manhattan and I've always wantedto go to the Empire State
Building, so this probably waslike 94.
I was out in the tri-state areafor a job.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
You were in New Jersey.
Yeah, for a job for about ayear.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Edison, new Jersey, for about a year and you had
never been.
So I said, come on out.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
And part of our thing is we were going to the best
steakhouse in the world, whichwe went through.
That's another story.
Peter Luger's that's anotherstory.
That's a great story.
That's another story.
That's a great story.
So I come visit you and we goout for a night on the town.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yeah, and let me preface this.
So, as everyone heard earlier,he calls himself Monster Mark.
His nickname is Monster.
His first company was MonsterTile.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Every one of my companies starts with Monster.
Okay, give you a.
For instance, if I had a cardetail place, it would be
monster detailing.
I owned a pressure wash company.
It was called monster pressurewash.
Right.
I owned a tile and marblecompany called monster tile and
marble.
Every one of my companiesstarts with monster.
I've been called monster for avery long time.
That's a whole nother story.
I have friends that haven'tcalled me mark in 25 years and
(26:22):
he calls you monster I can'ttell you, the last time he
called me mark, it's becauseI've known him for 35 years.
He calls me Monster, everybodycalls me Monster, monster, mark,
listen to me, call me Linda,just call me.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I don't care.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
I don't care about names, or was I?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I lost my mind.
You come down to New York andI'm like, okay, I'm going to
take you to Greenwich.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Village.
I want to go to Manhattan.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Yeah, we're young, let's go to.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Greenwich Village.
We are young.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Let's go do a little bar hopping, maybe go to a club.
Let's go see what's going on.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
We're in a cab.
It's late at night.
I look out the window we'restopped at a stoplight and I see
the Monster bar.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Stop the cab.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
We're stuck.
We gotta go to that bar Becauseback then people smoked and
everybody had a book of matchesand a lot of people collected
matchbooks from different places.
For the love of God, ryan, wegotta go in this bar and get a
book of matches.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
You're right.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Cab ride over.
Pay the man Out in Z Go insidethe bar.
We walk.
Man Out in Z Go inside the bar,we walk in together.
Beautiful bar, spec Tacular.
I've been to bars in my life.
This one, whoever decorated it,spared no expense, no expense.
It was the most beautiful,clean, oak bar.
(27:44):
And on top of the bar you knowhow they usually have, like the
pyramid that goes up in thebooze bottles.
No, no, no, no, no.
It was the giantest bouquet offresh flowers that you could
smell.
It was spectacular.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
The bartender was a comedian, the funniest guy ever
Nicest, funniest guy you've evermet, and he had shoulder pads
on and I start messing with him.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Yeah, from like the 1980s.
But, I was dealing with acomedian and I go what's up with
those shoulder pads?
Because I'm like you don't needshoulder pads, I have this big
shoulder.
He goes it's my Wonder Bra.
I got it on sideways.
He shot me right up.
It was hilarious.
We in Ryan and Ryan, we loveSouthern.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Comfort.
Well, back in the day, Back inthe day before they changed the
label Because we used to dotrivia questions.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
On the Southern Comfort label I says two
Southern Comforts.
Okay, now when you go to a baryou get a glass, an ounce and a
half and I was like I like mineover and up, chill it, strain it
so it's cold, sit in the glassand we drink it.
I got and me and you got twotumblers Like he poured a
lemonade for us.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
We just looked at that and go what the.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
What the Is that watered down?
And I'm like, oh my God, thisis wonderful.
Fresh flowers.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
How much, sir Funny guy, four bucks.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Four bucks and I got a glass I could hold with two
hands of Southern Comfort.
This place is spectacular.
I'd go use the little boy'sroom, ryan.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
I'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
At this point we're holding court.
We're very popular.
For some reason we're extremelypopular.
We're like the hot chick at thebowling alley popular and I go.
I had to kind of part the RedSea to get out of the circle of
our new friends, everyone wasvery, very friendly, very nice.
Now, as you know, being a man,in the bathroom sometimes
(29:32):
there's troughs.
Yeah, the troughs, the troughs.
Women don't know about it,ladies.
They treat us like animals.
It's literally a trough, and asyou relieve yourself, they put
advertisements.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Sure, you're staring at the ads.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Above the thing Now, because this is YouTube, I'm
going to try to do this asdelicately as possible.
There was two gentlemen in thead.
It was an ad for safe sex andAIDS.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
AIDS prevention.
Let's just say there was twogentlemen not wearing anything.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Let's just say, in a compromising position one had
duct tape on his mouth or onehad duct tape on his ears.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
The premise of the ad was- Hear no evil.
See no evil.
Hear no evil.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
He didn't say he had AIDS.
I didn't hear him say he hadAIDS, so he must not have AIDS.
Right, and both of them hadAIDS, I think it was that was an
awareness campaign back in the90s.
Awareness, definitely, and I gooh my god, I'm in one of those
bars, a gay bar, not thatthere's anything wrong with that
(30:36):
?
Speaker 1 (30:36):
No, there's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I finish myself, I come back.
You became even more popular.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
I mean we're just having the greatest time.
We were like celebrities, youtoo, yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Now, mind you, this is thinner, younger Mark and
Ryan.
We were quite handsome backthen.
What happened?
Time's the enemy.
We go, I come back, I make myway into the inner circle and
I've got no clue.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
I go.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Ryan, you should go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
I don't got to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
Ryan, listen to me, you got to go to the bathroom,
mark, I'm having a great timenow For the love of God, go to
the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
All right, I'll go to the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
You go to the bathroom, you come back and you
got that same thousand-yard.
Look in your eye that I have.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
And then the whole everything, all Everything, all
of a sudden started making sense.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Everything started making sense.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
We're in a gay bar, not that there's anything wrong
with that and Ryan's like we gotto get out of here.
We're having a great time.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
I'm like you're like we got to get out of here.
We're in a gay bar, we're notgay, we got to leave.
I'm like have you lost yourmind?
We got fresh flowers, we'revery popular and I got the
biggest drink.
And what's wrong with being gay?
Let's say you date a guy thesame size as you.
You double your wardrobe.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
There's some benefits to it.
And then we started gettingdrinks bought for us.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Then they started buying us drinks and I'm like
you guys are trying to get usdrunk, huh, no, we were very
popular, At least to this day.
We left it with our dignity.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
It was a great experience, probably some of the
best.
Go back to that bar some of thebest people, the most fun and
and they, we, we walked in thereand they just they.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
All I wanted was a book of matches, which I got.
It's still on my desk and we'llput a picture of it.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
They had our number.
The second we walked in there.
What the heck?
How did I mean?
They just knew we were toostraight guys.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
The old ladies at costco handing out.
They just knew that we were twostraight guys.
We were as popular as the oldladies at Costco handing out
food, the good food.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
We were.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
More popular we were very popular and we were like
they're so nice at this bar.
Then I went and peed.
Oh my God, oh my God, ryan, gopee.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
That's such a great story.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
That is just some of the little things.
Let me see, I wrote some otherstuff down here, all right, how
about we talk about the timeTiger Woods had a little?
Speaker 1 (32:56):
run in with you this was the Pro-Am AT&T, Pro-Am gosh
1991, maybe Probably Tiger.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Woods wasn't tiger woods, he was the he was he was
just getting.
He just had probably won thethe amateur and he might have
been in the in the golf world.
Well, he was the pro in this.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
I think was his first year out kevin costa was his
amateur and so, of course, uh,we basically well, we followed
him because we grew I grew up insan jose he went to stanford.
Um, we're, we're playing, wegolf, we were golfers and we're
following this phenom, right, oh, we're gonna go see this guy
tiger there's jack lemon.
There's more but we wanted tosee tiger we wanted to see and
(33:39):
ryan finds him so we find him wefollow him once an autograph.
Well, and this is before he had.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Security.
I wanted a picture.
No security, nothing, no, no.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
So we're following him along.
And Kevin was cool, Remember.
He hit the ball right to us andhe comes talking to us.
Hey, how's Tiger doing?
I think he's going for it outthere.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Yeah, he was very polite he was so cool.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
So we head around to the 10th hole, so ninth hole,
they go to the turn.
He's gotta pee and and tigerbreaks out of the uh ropes,
right.
I'm like, oh, this is my chanceto go talk to him, get a, get a
picture.
And so I I go ahead and I losehim in the crowd and I'm walking
through and all of a sudden,bam, I get checked on my right
shoulder.
I look at the guy and it'sTiger Woods.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
He was heading to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
He's heading to the bathroom.
You were in his way.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
And he looks at me and he's like sorry, he kind of
gave me a nod, sorry, but he'smoving fast because he's got to
go to the bathroom and then getback to the 10th hole.
Well, I thought to myself, thisis my one brush with greatness.
He's got to come out this door.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
I'm sitting over there talking to Maury Povich Me
and Maury.
Povich are having aconversation.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Remember he's got no security.
I just go right into the publicbathroom right there, seemed I
had to relieve myself too.
So is my brush with greatnessright there, me and Tiger Woods.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
And I'm clueless.
I'm out there talking to MauryPovich and the guy from Tool
Time not Tim, I forget his nameAl.
I was chatting with Al too.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Yeah, that was his character name.
That was great.
But you know, the funnieststory that happened in that
program was with Joe Pesci.
You got to tell the Joe Pescistory and as everyone can tell,
mark's got a loud kind of uniquevoice.
I get a squeaky voice.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Sometimes my wife says I get really high-pitched
sometimes this was one of thoseoccasions.
Here's Joe Pesci.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
And this time he's at the height of his career.
I got a photo.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
The only one I wanted was a photo of Joe Pesci and he
was signing autographs.
He had a big cigar, I remember,and I remember he bumped into a
girl with ash and he's all.
I'm sorry, sweetheart, and Iwent in the most respective way.
You can Excuse me, Joe Pesci.
Mr Pesci, Can I get a photo ofyou?
And he pulled a cigar out ofthis mouth.
(35:58):
He looked me dead in the eyeand he goes are you doing me?
And I go?
No, Mr Pesci, I'm not doing you.
Sounds like you're doing me.
And I go, Mr Pesci, a lot ofpeople say I sound like you, you
don't sound like me.
Well, you just said I'm doingyou.
I said sure you're not doing me.
(36:18):
Sir, I have lots of respect foryou.
I love your movies.
You've been very interesting.
He thought.
I was making fun of him.
I thought I was.
He thought I was making fun ofhim.
Are you doing?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
me and then he goes.
So you always talk like that.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
I said I always when I get excited, I get a high
pitch.
My wife said I shouldn't dothat and I go.
And then here's that photo.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
And me and.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Joe Pesci.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
So, since we're on golf, Sure, one of my favorite
stories which we can tell now,since you're on your, I think I
know what this one's going to be.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
The first wife is now out of the question.
That was my practice wife, thatwas your practice wife.
That won't get you in trouble.
So, long story short, me andRyan met on a vacation.
We met at an airport On myhoneymoon.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
We're going to Jamaica for my honeymoon and I
Dunn's River Falls, dunn's RiverFalls.
And so I tell my practice wifehey, I'm going to go see if
there's a bar around and go graba drink because we had a few
hours to burn.
So I just walk and I see thisguy Don't know why Just seemed
like a guy I could walk up to.
(37:23):
I said, excuse me.
I said, do you know where thebar is?
That was the end of it.
Yeah, come with me.
I mean I'm like who is this?
I mean they just okay, who isthis guy?
Speaker 3 (37:34):
He just it's around the corner.
I had time to kill two.
We didn't know we were gettingon the same flight.
No clue, and so we ended uphaving a couple Once again had
no clue.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Yeah, had a couple beers and got to talking and
made fast friends of it.
Speaker 3 (37:46):
Next thing, you know, we're at the same resort.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
We're on the same plane, on the same resort In the
same hotel, the same everything, everything.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
So we hung out together.
Sure Finds out, ryan golfs, Igolf.
He'd been married about 36hours, 40 hours at this point.
Part of his wedding promise washe would never smoke a
left-handed cigarette ever again.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Which I never really.
It was an easy promise to mebecause it never worked with me.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
Me neither.
I'm not a big fan.
We decide we're going to gogolfing for the day.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
It's an all-inclusive right, so you could take little
tours Right, and part of theall-inclusive was hey, you can
go golf as well.
However, the caveat you have topay for a caddy.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
And I'm like cool, I hate carrying my clubs anyway.
Yeah, we got to walk this theguy at the hotel puts us in the
shuttle van, takes us to the topof this mountain.
Beautiful course, beautifulcourse.
Mind you, this is Jamaica,sticky human.
So we get our clubs.
We get two Jamaican caddies whoare the Jamaican version of
(38:56):
Cheech and Chong.
Yeah, it's the least Tall, dark, handsome gentleman.
Nice as can be.
Nice as can be.
It's tall, dark, handsomegentleman, nice as can be.
Nice as can be.
And we get off the first tee,we start golfing, we get to the
second tee and I had a verysmall Roach left-handed
cigarette that I was quite proudof from the night before that.
(39:18):
I was going to finish on thesecond hole and I said it's
Jamaica who's going to care.
I pull it out and my caddy goeswhat is that, man?
I said this is my smallleft-handed cigarette.
Throw it away, man.
What do you mean?
Throw it away?
Speaker 1 (39:34):
But he were excited about this all day.
He smacks it out of my hand.
That's no good man, and I'mlike, oh, you can't do this here
, yeah, but we're thinking, oh,we're going to get in trouble,
I'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Do you want anything?
And I go yeah, give me a Coke.
It was hot.
He comes back.
Do you remember the part inCheech and Chong where they
rolled that thing?
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
This thing was a cigar.
It was a cigar, it was gigantic.
It was a cigar basicallyBecause here you go, man,
That'll be $5.
Whatever it was, and I was like, and for the Coke, two by
whatever it was, and she goes,but we wait till we get a couple
holes out.
So the man don't want the manseeing us.
(40:13):
I'm like who's the man?
We get a couple holes out andme and Ryan partake in this
left-handed cigar Check out thiscigar yeah.
Let's put it this way After thefourth hole we became the
caddies.
We were so relaxed we couldn'tgolf.
So now I got a caddy, who's gotmy clubs?
(40:38):
Who's golfing?
Who's very good.
So me and Ryan are betting onour caddies.
Who's better?
We're having a ball and we'recarrying the clubs.
We're carrying the clubs andthey're golfing, because we are
higher than Jesus inspectingsatellites on the space shuttle.
We are, and it's humid.
(40:58):
You know when you get the weedsweats, it's hot.
And those Cokes the worst thing.
You could probably drink thatsugar Coke.
But that story you probablymade 40 hours of your wedding
vow not to do that and you didit.
And then we went back to thehotel and I think we had a rest
of vacation.
Come to find out, ryan livesone city over from me.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
We ended up living like 10 minutes away, maybe 12
minutes away, 10 minutes away.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
I lived in Campbell yeah.
Good friends ever since, eversince, and that's the story of
the golfing.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
We played.
I mean, we were so excited toplay a round of golf in Jamaica.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
We made it to the fourth hole.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Did we make it even that far?
Well, remember, the guy waslike we had to move a couple
holes out.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
And remember we had problems because they were
putting a new irrigation systemand our balls kept going in the
trench.
These guys were really good.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
We ended up caddying for them and we paid for them
and we bought them lunch.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
But I remember him.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
What is that man?
And I was him.
What is that man?
And I was like put the throw itaway man Done.
He's like that's not a jointman.
This is, like you remember,like in Crocodile Dunny, that's
not a knife, this is a knife.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
This is exactly what happened.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
That's exactly what happened, and it was just so.
That's some stories.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
Let's finish this up with one more Mark being dumb as
a bag of rocks, not knowing popculture, not knowing famous
people, on an airline flight oh,the US Airlines.
And you got it.
Just how it all ended.
Okay, and we'll finish withthis.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
My children were very young.
I live in California, myfamily's in Pittsburgh,
pennsylvania, so there'sgrandparents back there that
need to see my two children, aboy and girl, 17 months apart,
and I normally stay inCalifornia and my wife will take
the kids back to see thegrandparents, but it's tough
(42:59):
with two young kids.
I said, listen, I'll go backand I'll help you and then I'll
fly back by myself and then youcome back, you know, week later
because I had to get back towork.
So, as we're going, we fly toPittsburgh, which is US Airways
hub, and we're flying intoPittsburgh on the plane from
California to San Francisco.
There the stewardess opens upthe thing and a bag falls on my
(43:22):
head, cracks me right in thehead and I had a headache for
the whole flight and you didn'tlike flying at the time.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
And who likes flying?
I love flying, oh really.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
Oh yeah, let's just say I didn't complain because
usually everything works out forme.
And it hit me in the head.
It was an accident, no big deal.
I'm too worried about my kidsjumping around like monkeys in
the plane Right, you know, I'mtrying to Benadryl them up so
they're taking a nap.
So I come back a week early.
I go to the airport, I'm at theUS Airways gate, I'm at the gate
and I sit down in a chair likeeverybody else and I'm sitting
(43:56):
next to a businessman.
He opens up his briefcase andhe tanks out an aspirin and he
takes an aspirin and I go oh,can I have one of those?
Because, oh, you got a headache.
That's not.
With the way my luck's going,another bag's gonna fall on my
head.
He goes what are you talkingabout?
And I told him the story andhe's like you didn't complain.
I go, nah, everything.
I'm pretty lucky.
Everything usually works out.
(44:16):
There's a reason for everythingand it usually works out for me
because let me see your ticket.
And he gets up and he walksaway.
I'm like this guy just took myticket and I'm like he's old, I
could definitely run after him.
I could totally tackle this guy.
I'm good, he's up there and he'shemming and hawing.
He's doing this and that hecomes and sits down, Gets my
(44:38):
ticket back, gets a differentticket, hands my ticket back,
gets a different ticket,different seat.
He goes.
You're going to be riding withme in first class.
Let me introduce myself.
He was the new CEO, whatever,the new CEO of US Airways.
He just became it, wow, and hewas leaving from Pittsburgh, the
hub, to go all to the differentmarkets and meet all the people
(44:58):
and introduce himself.
I'm the new guy.
I'm going to turn the companyaround.
You know the yada, yada, yada.
So now think about this.
You're riding in first classcross country for six hours with
the new CEO of USR.
What kind of stewards did youthink they had?
Speaker 1 (45:14):
The best, only the best.
Speaker 3 (45:16):
They had the sexy redhead, they had the blonde.
They were spectacularlybeautiful.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
And the best food and the best drinks.
The best food.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
So I never rode first class.
I didn't understand that youget two drinks before you take
off.
Well, let's just say the CEOwas very fond of Johnny Walker
and Coke and I didn't know ifthey cost anything.
I was young, I was starting out, I didn't know what this cost
and I'm like well, I did whateverybody does, I'll have what
he's having.
So we BS all the way across thecountry and they bring you.
(45:49):
That's how I, to this day, Istill eat those almond
smokehouse almonds.
They toast them on the planeand bring them to you in a
little bowl and they're warm.
I was like next thing, I know Igot ice cream.
I had silverware, my salt andpepper shaker was crystal and
I'm like, once they shut thatcurtain, it's like the pole
(46:10):
comes down and the disco lightit's on.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
I'm not a very big drinker and you probably weighed
what about a buck 80?
Speaker 3 (46:19):
I was very thin back there and young, let's just say
I had several Johnny Walkers andCoke.
We land.
I'm like, hey man, thank you,this was, can I get some more of
them?
Nuts to go.
I was like, can I see thecontainer?
Yeah, blue Diamond, smokehouse,almond, perfect.
I'm going to Safeway as soon asI land to get some of them.
(46:40):
Amazing, we get off the planebecause I'm seat 1A.
There's a golf cart Picks himup.
I shake his hand, he's gone.
My buddy, my neighbor, waspicking me up at the curb.
Very nice of them, very nice ofhim.
I get in the car and he's rightthere.
We get about halfway home.
It was about a 40-minute drivefrom San Francisco to Campbell.
(47:02):
We get about halfway home.
It was about a 40-minute drivefrom San Francisco to Campbell,
halfway through.
He looks over and goes boy, youtraveled light.
And I went.
Oh my God, my jacket, mysuitcase, I was so hammered I
left everything on the plane, mybig thick leather jacket, my
(47:27):
suitcase.
Never went to the turnstile,just got off the plane, went to
the curb, got in the guy's car,left.
How hammered you gotta be.
I'm like, oh my god, we gottaturn around, but we're almost
home sure and I think this isbefore cell phones, or it was
they're very expensive.
Yeah, very I get home and I callthe airport and I go.
Listen to me.
I was sitting next to the CEO.
(47:49):
Within two hours, a cab came tomy house with my suitcase and
my jacket Because I said I'mnext to the new CEO and I guess
you know.
They didn't know if I wasimportant or not, but I got my
stuff back.
That's my once again sittingnext to somebody out of the blue
, starting a conversation, andthey embraced me for whatever
(48:13):
reason, and bring me into theirworld.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
It's amazing.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
And he was once again going.
You don't read the papers aboutme.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
You don't know who I am.
This has been on CNN.
Well, this is why want torelate to you, because you just
treat him like normal people heliked it because I didn't ask
him about his business, becauseI didn't know his business.
I was just talking about normalthings well, we'll finish it
with this airport or airplaneairport story, because you got
to get to the airport, I have toget to, and, um, this will be a
(48:40):
tease.
We'll see what the audiencelikes.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
There's many more stories.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
They have no clue.
I've known you for 35 years,the stories are endless, and
those were benign.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
I wish I could tell my.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
Oh, we'll go down the rabbit hole.
Speaker 3 (48:56):
My kidney stone story would get you banned from
YouTube.
And it is the most hilariousstory.
We'll figure out a way to getthe banned from YouTube.
It is the most hilarious story.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
We'll figure out a way to get the story out there.
Speaker 3 (49:07):
That is by far.
If you need to start a Patreonthing, are you going to pay to
hear the story, Because it'sspectacularly fun.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
We may have to do that for half your stories.
Well, Mark, let's get you tothe airport.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
You've been listening to real people, real life.
Our passion is to have realconversations with real people
who've made it, real peoplewho've made it who did it on
their own terms.
We'll be back soon, but in themeantime, catch us on twitter or
x at rprl podcast and onyoutube at real people real life
(49:44):
podcast, at RPRL Podcast, andon YouTube at Real People Real
Life Podcast.
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