April 9, 2025 • 35 mins
In this episode of The Real Retirement Show, hosts Yasmin and Kathleen talk with Dr. Sara Zeff Geber, a leading expert on solo aging. Sara shares her journey highlighting the unique challenges faced by solo agers - individuals aging without family support. The discussion explores critical aspects such as choosing living arrangements, including the pros and cons of aging in place versus senior living communities. Sara emphasizes the importance of planning for financial, legal, and social needs, and introduces the concept of home sharing as a viable option for social interaction and care. She also stresses the need for professionals, such as financial advisors and legal experts, to assist solo agers in creating robust support systems. Sara concludes with inspiring stories of solo agers who have proactively planned their futures and offers resources for further learning.
00:00 Introduction: The Biggest Hurdle for Solo Agers
01:22 Welcome to The Real Retirement Show
02:05 Meet Sara Zeff Geber: Expert on Solo Aging
03:10 Sara's Personal Journey into Solo Aging
05:29 Defining Solo Aging
09:06 Challenges and Misconceptions of Solo Aging
15:00 Planning for the Future: Financial, Legal, and Social Aspects
18:41 Community and Support Systems for Solo Agers
27:51 Inspiration and Success Stories
32:03 Final Thoughts and Resources
About Sara Zeff Geber, PhD
Sara is the nation’s foremost expert on Solo Aging. She is an author, professional speaker, and certified retirement coach.
In 2018, Sara was named an “Influencer in Aging” by PBS’ Next Avenue and is a regular contributor to Forbes.com in the areas of aging and retirement.
She has also been featured and quoted in The Journal of Active Aging, Certified Senior Advisor Journal, Next Avenue, Senior Living Foresight, McKnights Living, Senior Housing Business, and many others.
Sara’s book, Essential Retirement Planning for Solo Agers: A Retirement and Aging Roadmap for Single and Child-free Adults, was published in 2018, and was selected that year as a ‘best book on aging well’ by the WSJ.
Resources
Website: https://sarazeffgeber.com/
Books: https://sarazeffgeber.com/books/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarazeffgeber/
Real Retirement Video Podcast: Real Retirement - YouTube
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sara Geber (00:00):
I think the biggest hurdle in front of solo agers is
(00:04):
where am I gonna live as I getolder?
There's a huge for making thingsright for people to age in
place.
Communities are gettinginvolved.
to see that because a lot ofpeople will be aging in place
But honestly, I think it is apretty crummy solution for solo
(00:24):
agers.
A lot of people see that as akind of a polar decision.
Do I age in place or do I moveinto some kind of senior living
environment, which is a goodsolution for many people.
I know thousands of people arevery happy in senior living
communities, so it's a greatoption for solo agers who can
(00:46):
afford it for one thing.
and there are other solutionsyou might age in place with
someone that you're close to,someone that you like.
There is more home sharing goingon now than ever before, and
there are organizations, somelocal, some national, that help
match people to live togetherreality is that there are a lot
(01:11):
of things that can happen to youthat would make you less able to
continue living alone.
So that's what I encouragepeople to think about,
alternatives to living alone.
Yasmin Nguyen (01:22):
Welcome back to The Real Retirement Show.
My name is Yasmin.
Here with my co-host Kathleen.
Whether you're retired orthinking about retirement, we
delve into the multifacetedworld of retirement beyond the
finances.
This isn't your typicalretirement discussion.
It's a vibrant journey into whatretirement truly means in
today's world.
(01:42):
We bring you real stories fromreal retirees and experts
discussing real challenges,surprises, joys, heartaches, and
the myriad of emotions that comewith retirement.
From addressing family dynamicsto mental and physical health,
to finding purpose, we tacklethe issues that truly matter to
retirees and those thinkingabout retirement.
(02:05):
Our special guest today is SarahZeff Geber.
Sarah is the nation's foremostexpert on solo aging.
She's an author, professionalspeaker, and certified
retirement coach.
In 2018, Sarah was named aninfluencer in Aging by PBS's
Next Avenue and is a regularcontributor to forbes.com in the
(02:28):
areas of aging and retirement.
Sarah's been featured and quotedin the Journal of Active Aging
Certified Senior Advisor JournalNext Avenue Senior Living
Foresight.
McKnight's Living, seniorHousing Business, and many
others.
Sarah's book, the EssentialRetirement Planning for Solo
(02:50):
Ages, A Retirement and AgingRoadmap for Single and
Child-Free Adults was publishedin 2018 and was selected that
year as a best book in Agingwell by the Wall Street Journal.
We are so honored and delightedto have you on our show.
Sarah, welcome.
Sara Geber (03:08):
Thank you.
happy to be here, Yasmin.
Yasmin Nguyen (03:10):
Sarah, for those of us who have not gotten a
chance to get to know you or,follow your work, would you
share a little bit about yourpersonal story and what inspired
you to focus specifically on thesolo aging journey?
I.
Sara Geber (03:22):
Yes, I'd be happy to do that.
was doing some retirementcoaching, back in 2015, 2016,
and, noticed about that timethat a lot of my coaching
clients, as well as my friendsand colleagues who were all of
my contemporaries, startedspending a tremendous amount of
(03:45):
time with their aging parentsended up canceling.
engagements and whatnot, and Iwas having a glass of wine with
a friend of mine sometime inthat period, and I hadn't seen
her in the last month.
And I said, Sandy, how come Ihaven't seen you much in this
(04:06):
last month?
We usually get together prettyfrequently.
And she said, I've been spendingmost of my life on an airplane
flying back and forth to theEast coast.
We both live in California.
And I have needed to do thatbecause my mom isn't doing well
and my brother and I needed tofind a better solution to how
she was gonna live because shewasn't thriving in the house
(04:30):
that she'd been in for the last40 years.
So we ended up, getting her toagree to move into a senior
living community.
We found one that she reallyloved Got her, we got her moved
in, that wasn't the end of it.
Then we had to sell off thefurniture that she couldn't
bring with her and we had to dotremendous amount of financial
(04:55):
jockeying for her and theneventually we had to sell the
house and it's really still notover and it's been going on for
over a year.
I listened to her talk and Ilooked at her at one point and I
said, Sandy.
and I don't have children who'sgonna do that for us?
that really became the question,who's gonna do that for us?
(05:17):
That started me on my trajectoryof thinking about researching,
talking about, and ultimatelywriting about solo aging.
Yasmin Nguyen (05:28):
Hmm.
Sarah.
Now when we talk about soulaging, can you help define what
solo aging means?
Because I think there may besome different interpretations
out there.
Sara Geber (05:37):
Yes, there are many different interpretations out
there.
And just hearing the word, a lotof people assume that, I mean,
single people, people who nevermarried, people who have lost a
spouse, people who are divorced.
and that is not exactly what Imean.
I now define a solor as someonewho is aging without the support
(06:02):
of family, that may includepeople who have kids.
If those kids live very far awayif they're estranged, I have a
neighbor, for instance, who'sbecome a good friend and she and
her husband have one child, ason, and when he was about 30,
(06:25):
he had the nerve to fall in lovewith a Danish woman.
Well, where do you think they'reliving and raising their kids?
So is he going to be able tosupport them as they get older
and need some help?
don't think so.
He now has three kids.
They don't have any plans tomove out of Copenhagen, that's
(06:48):
just one example of justmillions of people who have
experienced something.
I've started calling the familydiaspora.
I have another neighbor whoevery Sunday at five o'clock,
they have a Zoom meeting withtheir two adult children who
live.
Very far away elsewhere in thecountry.
So it's a sort of a fluiddefinition and people need to
(07:11):
self-identify more than anythingelse.
there are sad cases wherefamilies have become truly
estranged and those people are.
Certainly solo agers too.
but my original category, andthe one I still believe, holds
the most credence for being soloagers are people that don't have
(07:33):
children.
Because after all, when you lookaround at society and who is
caring for the oldest in ourcommunities, it's primarily
their adult children.
sometimes that kind ofcaregiving becomes job.
For several years.
Kathleen Mundy (07:51):
I have to say, Sarah, I can identify with.
your ethos of what you're doingand the comments you just made.
Because, I remember one of thefirst, gatherings that Yasmin
and I had when we were doingsome research on the topic of
aging and retirement.
had a group of people in, one ofwhich was a solo.
(08:13):
When I hear of solo aging, Iremember her and she was a
little resentful of what washappening and the information
that she was, was made availableto her.
But I really never really, Ihaven't thought about your.
Concept in those terms until youjust explained it.
I'm so glad you did because it,it does make a difference if you
(08:37):
don't have children you havechildren that, that live miles
or countries away, you're stillfaced with the situation of
who's going to take care of allthose needs and make those
decisions.
And I've gone through helping.
An aging parent relocate and itis no small feat.
Sara Geber (08:59):
Yeah.
Kathleen Mundy (09:00):
So I really appreciate and I know that our
listeners are really gonnaappreciate what we have to offer
in today's podcast.
Yasmin Nguyen (09:06):
Sarah, what have you noticed are some unique
challenges that Solo Agersfaced, that's different from
those that may have family orother types of support?
I.
Sara Geber (09:17):
Sure.
the, I think the biggest hurdlein front of solo agers is where
am I gonna live as I get older?
There's a huge for making thingsright for people to age in
place.
Communities are gettinginvolved.
to see that because a lot ofpeople will be aging in place no
(09:39):
matter what I say, or do soloagers among them.
But honestly, I think it is apretty crummy solution for solo
agers.
A lot of people see that as akind of a polar decision.
Do I age in place or do I moveinto some kind of senior living
environment, which is a goodsolution for many people.
(10:00):
I know thousands of people arevery happy in senior living
communities, so it's a greatoption for solo agers who can
afford it for one thing.
and there are other solutionsyou might age in place with
someone that you're close to,someone that you like.
(10:21):
There is more home sharing goingon now than ever before, and
there are organizations, somelocal, some national, that help
match people to live togetherat, you know, all of the Golden
Girls.
I think that's probably the bestexample of home sharing that's
out there, and everybody's seenat least one episode of the
Golden Girls.
(10:42):
they lived together.
There were actually twogenerations living there in that
house at one point because, theB Arthur character had, a mother
s still Getty that was livingwith them.
And then there were two otherwomen.
They were all more or less intheir sixties and seventies, I
would guess, except for Estelle,who was clearly in her, mid to
(11:03):
late eighties.
They didn't like each other allof the time, but ultimately they
did truly love and care for oneanother.
And the idea of having somebodyat home that cares for you, that
says, how was your day?
That says, look a littleconcerned about something.
of those kind of everydaytransactional sort of,
(11:27):
discussions that we have andrelationship based discussions
that we have can't take place.
If you're all by yourself manysolo agers who do live alone,
proclaim that they love livingalone, they're independent and
they're always gonna beindependent.
But it's hard to take your, your
Yasmin Nguyen (11:49):
Yes.
Sara Geber (11:51):
self and put it in what may be your 95-year-old
body and understand what you'llneed at that point.
'cause that's a very differentpicture.
People, no matter what you liketo think, people do become more
frail.
They come become less, a lessmobile.
(12:12):
They become less, less able todo some of the things that
they've been doing all theirlives, and it may be due to a
declining mental condition thatwill be fall, probably quarter
to a third of us.
and it may be to a decliningphysical condition.
(12:34):
But regardless of, what you hopewill happen to you as you get
older, reality is that there area lot of things that can happen
to you that would make you lessable to continue living alone.
So that's what I encouragepeople to think about,
alternatives to living alone.
Kathleen Mundy (12:54):
Sarah, you mentioned something about the
community, whether it be a smallcommunity with, the Golden Girls
or whether it's a largerretirement community, want you
to explain what, in your mind,the misconceptions might be
about solo aging.
Sara Geber (13:10):
when you say misconceptions about solo aging,
Kathleen Mundy (13:14):
talked a little bit about some of the challenges
that they have, but I'mwondering, you said there's the
reality.
And then there's the ideology.
So what do you think thedifference of those two
parameters might be?
Sara Geber (13:28):
put in those terms.
I think people, again, have areally hard time imagining what
they will be like.
In 20 years.
if you're sitting therelistening to this and you're 65
or 70 or maybe 75, and youthink, well, you know, I'm doing
great.
my doctor gives me a clean billof health and I have a cranky
(13:49):
hip that acts up once in awhile, or, gosh, I have some
dental issues I have to takecare of.
Those all seem like tremendouslysurmountable And yes, we
probably all know that one96-year-old who's doing great
and still driving and stillgetting around and has, a clear
(14:13):
mind and is still problemsolving, that's the extreme
exception.
And it's getting people tounderstand that they probably
won't quite be the person theyare today when they're 95 is.
That's the challenge.
That's really the challengebecause people don't seem to be
able to project like that.
Kathleen Mundy (14:36):
Very true.
Yasmin Nguyen (14:37):
Sarah, you, we focused on the living situation,
which is a huge, area to planfor and to address.
I'm curious, what are some ofthe other areas specifically
that are relevant to solo ages?
Like perhaps, you hinted atsocial aspects, but what else,
do solo agers and their support,need to consider, for, preparing
(14:59):
for this journey?
Sara Geber (15:01):
Well, the, there's of course the financial aspect
and there's the legal aspect.
and so much of what I say reallypertains to anyone, not just
solo agers, but for solo agers.
the way I like to think of it isfor solo agers, there's no
safety net.
I have, I have a good friendwho, actually is the father of a
(15:23):
contemporary of mine who livedto be 99 and in the last five
years of his life, I.
He ended up feeling like heneeded to turn over a lot of his
financial stuff, his billpaying, his discussions with
his, financial planner, thosekind of things.
He ended up saying, I'm gonnaturn this over to my son
(15:47):
because, and bring him up tospeed on what the situation is.
and he ended up.
Bringing in someone to cook forhim and to clean.
were things that at 96 ish, hejust finally said enough.
He was a strong, independentguy.
(16:10):
He had lost his wife 10 yearsbefore and he drove up until the
time that he was in his, atleast early nineties.
and then was again persuaded byhis children to ultimately give
up the keys.
just don't have children thatare coming gonna come in and
pick up the slack like that.
(16:30):
So do we just wait and see?
I'll just wait and see whathappens.
not so safe for solo agers.
Planning ahead of time withsomeone, a younger person that
can step in and take over thosefunctions is really important
for solo agers.
Kathleen Mundy (16:51):
I think to your point though, I remember hearing
speak about the stool, thefinance, the legal, the
financial, and the social.
I really was interested to, tounderstand how important the
social aspect aging was fromyour point of view.
Sara Geber (17:07):
Yeah, the social aspect is all tied up in where
you're gonna live.
It's, it is almost completelydependent on that you may be
very able to go out and meetfriends for lunch and
participate in your book cluband even go to the gym at this
point in your life.
(17:28):
just can't count on being ableto do that.
10, 15, 20 years from now, youjust can't, you may not be able
to drive anymore.
I'm 75.
I have a number ofcontemporaries who've already
stopped driving at night acouple who've stopped driving
altogether.
(17:48):
yes, we are fortunate in thisday and age to have Uber and
Lyft and some alternatives to,especially those of us who live
in areas without any publictransportation.
so those are helpful.
But having a backup plan reallyimportant.
So that's the social, thefinancial and the legal actually
(18:13):
need to be assigned to someoneyou trust to pick up the slack
if and when you need that.
Now, who knows?
You may.
End your time on Earth.
You may be on the other side ofthe ground, before you ever need
any of this, fine.
But that, in my mind, thatdoesn't mean you shouldn't plan
(18:35):
for it because we'd all like tolive as long as possible,
especially if we're gonna be,healthy enough to enjoy it.
So.
here in California we havesomething called a professional
fiduciary, and that's someonethat literally can come in and
be the son or daughter that youdon't have that can take over
that function.
(18:56):
Of course, that costs somemoney.
there are, patient advocates.
There are professionalguardians, most elder law
attorneys.
and some they call themselvesstate attorneys or elder law
attorneys.
They usually know of people thatcan do that because they've
(19:16):
worked with people in the pastand will be working with many
more in the future as solo agingbecomes much more prevalent.
they have resources.
So I, that's the first place togo.
If you have an attorney thatyou're working with, he or she
is a good place to, to go forthat resource.
Also, your, county Agency onAging, your council on Aging,
(19:39):
your senior center.
They may know of people.
this is a countrywide audiencelistening to this potentially, I
don't know what resources youhave in your state.
I think the first line ofdefense on this are often.
Trusted nieces, nephews, youngercousins.
(20:00):
I have a, a younger cousinthat's about, about 14 years
younger than I am, and she isone of the people that is named
on my advanced directive forhealthcare and on my power of
attorney for finances.
Another person that I have namedis the son of a very good friend
of mine, known that.
(20:21):
Their mother, I've known sincewe were five years old.
I've known her son since he wasborn and I know his values.
I know that he's someone I cantrust.
So these are people.
Now I am married, so my husband,of course, is my first line of
defense as I am his, but wedon't know who's gonna go first.
(20:41):
We have no idea.
we're both planning as though wemight be solo agers.
True solo agers.
we are solo agers by mydefinition, but we are both
planning as though we might bethe one standing, alone.
Yasmin Nguyen (20:57):
Sarah, you had talked about these fiduciaries
and also, professionals that areworking with people and I'm
curious.
I.
As a, let's say, professional,financial advisor or maybe legal
professional who may be workingwith a solo ager, what are some
important questions or thingsthat they need to be aware of
that's unique to a client thatis, is on the solo aging
(21:20):
journey?
Sara Geber (21:22):
there are a number of things that both financial
professionals and legalprofessionals can do to, assist
their clients.
And as you're probably seeingYasmin, and I know the financial
advisors that I know, and I knowa number of them in this area.
are seeing are, opportunities tohelp people fill in the gaps.
(21:45):
you wanna say, let's get yourfamily involved, then you can't
do that with a solo ager.
You need to find some otherresources.
So I encourage the professionalsthat I know, both in, in legal
and in finance to startcollecting.
Now start your Rolodex.
That's a term that dates me.
(22:06):
putting your Rolodex together ofresources for your clients.
the financial advisors that Iknow here are already putting
together workshops.
I do local workshops for soloagers, and they're starting to
put their people into myworkshops and starting to come
up with, they're actuallyfilling the workshops.
(22:29):
that's one resource that you cando, that you can create.
There are a number of, oh gosh,villages and senior centers
around the country that arestarting solo ager support
groups.
I am certainly a big fan ofthat.
I'm applauding every time I seeone of those, pop up on my
(22:51):
Google alerts.
'cause I have a Google alert onanything solo ages and I'm so
pleased to see that and I, so Iencourage professionals to do
that.
Yasmin Nguyen (23:00):
Yeah, well, whenever I have my alerts,
mostly you show up'cause you'rein the epicenter of a lot
conversation Sarah.
Uh,
Sara Geber (23:09):
everything anymore.
Kathleen Mundy (23:11):
always try and relate to our, our guests, and I
have to say that I have done sowith you because my children, I
have four children, none of themare close.
And we've, thought do we age inplace?
And I know that you believeaging in place is only good if
there's some community aroundyou.
(23:33):
I don't wanna be lonely andsometimes aging in place
provides that for people,whether they want it or not.
Usually they wouldn't.
But that is the case.
and I'm just wondering, I'velearned so much.
What are some of the lessonsthat you've learned from
personally dealing with thistopic over the last, gosh, 20
(23:53):
years?
Sara Geber (23:54):
I have learned all of the different resistances
people have to changing theirlifestyle.
Kathleen Mundy (24:00):
Isn't that.
Sara Geber (24:02):
And it's again, that the terms that I put it in today
are people are fairly incapableof putting themselves into their
95-year-old bodies.
Now, I will say, and I often askthis in the presentations that I
make, to anyone.
(24:22):
I will ask the question, howmany of you raise your hand?
how many of you took care ofyour aging parents?
And of course, almost half.
At least half the hands go up inalmost every setting.
Those are the people that getit.
They get it.
What's in store for them?
(24:42):
that's why they're attending mypresentation.
In fact, usually three quartersof the hands go up.
I wouldn't be one of thosepeople because I didn't take
care of my aging parents.
They both died when I was fairlyyoung, and they was fairly
young.
They were fairly young, so Inever had that experience.
Same with my in-laws.
(25:03):
those that have had theexperience and really seen what
I call deep aging, creates theenvironment that creates and the
challenges that creates, reallyget it that they need to do
something to protect themselves.
Kathleen Mundy (25:18):
That's insightful.
And I think no one, can predictas you suggest, because, health
concerns can happen at any age.
Sara Geber (25:26):
Right.
Kathleen Mundy (25:26):
I'm gonna share this little story.
I, because you, I know that it'sgonna help you.
a good friend of mine, herhusband was.
Seventies.
She's in her late sixties.
He had a stroke and passed away.
She had suffered from dementiafor the last year.
they were so low aging parentsbecause her son was miles and
(25:49):
miles away and now it is a mess.
they can't find their fi, theirfinancials, where it's in a
place that was going to beaccessible by anyone.
They hadn't positionedthemselves to have someone else
Sara Geber (26:03):
Yep.
Kathleen Mundy (26:03):
step in with power of attorneys or any estate
planning.
And it is now become.
An extended family's problem,and even though you know she has
a child, doesn't necessarilymean, as you said, it could be
estranged and it's still you.
You have to depend on your ownin planning, This happened
(26:25):
recently to me that I was madeaware of my friends.
it's the change that we can'tanticipate.
And as you said, sometimespeople just don't like the
lifestyle change if they haveto.
Make plans for, an extendedperiod of time.
You and I are the same age, andwhen I look at what, I've got
another 20, I'm hoping at least20, 25 years, what is I gonna
(26:48):
look like, where do I wannalive?
all of those questions come tomind's a little young to even
worry about that yet.
But, it's
Sara Geber (26:58):
But it's, he's at the right age to start thinking
about it and planning for it.
Kathleen Mundy (27:02):
He he is
Yasmin Nguyen (27:03):
speaking of solo aging, I've never been married,
don't have a girlfriend, don'thave any kids.
I am sure 40 plus years is gonnago by, like in a blink of an eye
here as well too.
So I'm definitely very awareand, wanna be mindful as to
what's gonna happen between nowand then as well.
Sara Geber (27:21):
sure.
Kathleen Mundy (27:22):
I love that we can have a little levity around
this very serious topic.
Sara Geber (27:26):
He says.
Kathleen Mundy (27:27):
one that I think will, and first of all, it will
affect everyone whether you area solo ager or whether you have
a friend who is, or someone inyour extended family might be.
So I depth and breadth of thisconversation is a wonderful,
element for those, for ouraudience.
And I'm sure that they're gonnashare this with a lot of their
(27:49):
friends and family as.
Yasmin Nguyen (27:51):
Yeah.
Hey, Sarah, I'm curious, hasthere been a solor that you've
been in touch with, worked with,attended one of your events that
is an inspiration, like your,something about them that, that
really has been a role model forhow, fulfillment and joy could
be in, in this journey?
Sara Geber (28:12):
Yeah, I've had a number of people in my workshops
really take action, once theygot it, that they were on their
own, they needed to do that.
My most recent, I success story,I don't even consider it a
success story for me.
I think my most wonderful,Example of someone whose eyes
(28:33):
were opened by some of thethings I said is a woman who
through a, a local workshop thatI did, and I always do these
workshops in person.
I.
Locally so that pe I can bringin experts and I bring in a, a
financial expert.
I bring in a legal expert.
(28:54):
I bring in, professionalfiduciary, and I bring in a
senior care advisor.
So after listening to me and allof these other experts, she
realized that she has a husbandwho has Parkinson's and they
were still living in their.
Single family home and beforethe workshop was over and the
(29:16):
workshop lasts six months, wemeet once a month for six
months.
Kathleen Mundy (29:21):
Wow.
Sara Geber (29:21):
gives people time to actually make some changes and
do some of the things we'retalking about.
So, At the last session, sheannounced that they had put
their house for sale.
She had found a senior livingcommunity.
They were scheduled to move in.
She had done the homework.
During the six months, she hadgone out and looked at a lot of
senior living communities andfound the one that really
(29:42):
appealed to them, and that waswithin their budget and they're
moving That's, that was the mostrecent and most splashy example
I could give you.
Kathleen Mundy (29:55):
Good for you.
Good for you.
Sara Geber (29:57):
And good for her.
It is.
The whole thing is life changingand they're gonna be in a PO
position where they're not sovulnerable.
there she is.
She's our age with a husband whohas par advanced Parkinson's.
Talk about vulnerable.
Okay.
No kids.
Kathleen Mundy (30:17):
Let's talk about the vulnerability.
and I'm sure that you've foundothers who've taken your
workshop or have beenparticipants in maybe an
audience that you've, addressed.
Have they spoken or realizedtheir vulnerabilities until you
bring it to the forefront?
Sara Geber (30:32):
Well, they've realized it to the extent that
they're willing to putthemselves in the workshop.
I admire people who getthemselves outta their comfort
zone enough to even come to oneof my talks.
they've acknowledged at leastthat they are vulnerable.
There's things that they need toset up for themselves as they
get older.
many of them took care of anaging parent.
(30:54):
And they get it, that there'snobody down the line to do that
for them.
I read a piece of literaturewhen I was first researching all
of this about 10 years ago.
and of course there wasn't anygerontology literature, but I
found some sociology andanthropology literature.
And one, I think had said thatin the, in all of the.
(31:21):
American societies and many ofthe tribal societies that he had
studied.
The one conclusion that he couldmake was that children are the
only Morally committed to takingcare of their aging parents.
(31:42):
That's the only, it's a moralimperative in most societies of
the world that children takecare of their aging parents.
I,
Yasmin Nguyen (31:52):
I can attest to that.
Yeah.
I currently, myself and mysister, we're actively helping
take care of our elderly parentsas well too.
Yeah.
Sarah, this has been such a richconversation.
I, and I feel like there's somany different areas that we can
dive deeper, and I know that'swhy you've written your book and
you've got, a number ofdifferent talks that you give.
(32:13):
How can our listeners connectwith you and learn more about
your work so that they can beable to either, experience this
themselves, but also be able toshare it with their communities
and clients that they're workingwith?
Sara Geber (32:26):
the first thing to do if you're new to this whole
topic is to buy my book.
I'm not self-published.
I have a publisher, so I don'tmake money advertising my book.
My publisher might make a fewbooks, but it has now sold over
12,000 copies in six years.
So I am, I'm pleased at that andI'm proud of that.
(32:47):
it's a good primer.
On solo aging, and it's calledEssential Retirement Planning
for Solo agers.
It's available anywhere.
You can order it from your localbookstore, which I always
encourage.
You can buy it from any of theonline book sellers.
It's available in print.
It's available, in, in audioavailable on Audible.
(33:11):
It's available.
In, e-reader format, so any wayyou like to read, it's
available.
Yasmin Nguyen (33:17):
Great.
I'll make sure we include linksto, to your book as well too
Kathleen Mundy (33:22):
What a.
Yasmin Nguyen (33:23):
Sarah, it's so important that you and the
community of, thought leaderslike yourself who focus on this
particular area because I thinkthat it's an often forgotten,
segment and it, but it's thereality of so many of us who are
aging and whether we are awareof it or not, at some point in
time we will be.
(33:44):
Alone as well too.
So to be prepared is such animportant piece.
so grateful to have you join ustoday and just share your
wisdom.
Sara Geber (33:52):
Thank you for having me.
I appreciate it.
Kathleen Mundy (33:54):
I've loved dark conversation.
Yasmin Nguyen (33:56):
Yeah.
Kathleen Mundy (33:57):
so much.
Yasmin Nguyen (33:57):
any final thoughts before we, we just wrap
up?
Sara Geber (34:01):
just I think for everybody, if you aren't a solo
ager, I bet you have one in yourfamily or in your community.
So might notice that there aresolo agers around and encourage
them to do some planning upfront so they're not left a bad
situation.
(34:22):
like the story we just heard.
Yasmin Nguyen (34:24):
thank you so much Sarah.
So happy that we got a chance tospend some time together today.
Sara Geber (34:28):
Thank you.
Yasmin Nguyen (34:29):
Thank you for taking the time to join us
today.
If you enjoyed this episode orfound it valuable, please
subscribe, follow and leave acomment or view on your favorite
platform.
If you have friends, clients, orloved ones who are retired or
thinking about retirement, weinvite you to share this show
with them.
Check out this show notes withlinks to resources mentioned in
(34:50):
thisepisode@realretirementshow.com.
Remember, retirement is a joyfuljourney we get to experience
together.
Join us next week for anotherreal retirement conversation.
I think the biggest hurdle in front of solo agers is
(00:04):
where am I gonna live as I getolder?
There's a huge for making thingsright for people to age in
place.
Communities are gettinginvolved.
to see that because a lot ofpeople will be aging in place
But honestly, I think it is apretty crummy solution for solo
(00:24):
agers.
A lot of people see that as akind of a polar decision.
Do I age in place or do I moveinto some kind of senior living
environment, which is a goodsolution for many people.
I know thousands of people arevery happy in senior living
communities, so it's a greatoption for solo agers who can
(00:46):
afford it for one thing.
and there are other solutionsyou might age in place with
someone that you're close to,someone that you like.
There is more home sharing goingon now than ever before, and
there are organizations, somelocal, some national, that help
match people to live togetherreality is that there are a lot
(01:11):
of things that can happen to youthat would make you less able to
continue living alone.
So that's what I encouragepeople to think about,
alternatives to living alone.
Yasmin Nguyen (01:22):
Welcome back to The Real Retirement Show.
My name is Yasmin.
Here with my co-host Kathleen.
Whether you're retired orthinking about retirement, we
delve into the multifacetedworld of retirement beyond the
finances.
This isn't your typicalretirement discussion.
It's a vibrant journey into whatretirement truly means in
today's world.
(01:42):
We bring you real stories fromreal retirees and experts
discussing real challenges,surprises, joys, heartaches, and
the myriad of emotions that comewith retirement.
From addressing family dynamicsto mental and physical health,
to finding purpose, we tacklethe issues that truly matter to
retirees and those thinkingabout retirement.
(02:05):
Our special guest today is SarahZeff Geber.
Sarah is the nation's foremostexpert on solo aging.
She's an author, professionalspeaker, and certified
retirement coach.
In 2018, Sarah was named aninfluencer in Aging by PBS's
Next Avenue and is a regularcontributor to forbes.com in the
(02:28):
areas of aging and retirement.
Sarah's been featured and quotedin the Journal of Active Aging
Certified Senior Advisor JournalNext Avenue Senior Living
Foresight.
McKnight's Living, seniorHousing Business, and many
others.
Sarah's book, the EssentialRetirement Planning for Solo
(02:50):
Ages, A Retirement and AgingRoadmap for Single and
Child-Free Adults was publishedin 2018 and was selected that
year as a best book in Agingwell by the Wall Street Journal.
We are so honored and delightedto have you on our show.
Sarah, welcome.
Sara Geber (03:08):
Thank you.
happy to be here, Yasmin.
Yasmin Nguyen (03:10):
Sarah, for those of us who have not gotten a
chance to get to know you or,follow your work, would you
share a little bit about yourpersonal story and what inspired
you to focus specifically on thesolo aging journey?
I.
Sara Geber (03:22):
Yes, I'd be happy to do that.
was doing some retirementcoaching, back in 2015, 2016,
and, noticed about that timethat a lot of my coaching
clients, as well as my friendsand colleagues who were all of
my contemporaries, startedspending a tremendous amount of
(03:45):
time with their aging parentsended up canceling.
engagements and whatnot, and Iwas having a glass of wine with
a friend of mine sometime inthat period, and I hadn't seen
her in the last month.
And I said, Sandy, how come Ihaven't seen you much in this
(04:06):
last month?
We usually get together prettyfrequently.
And she said, I've been spendingmost of my life on an airplane
flying back and forth to theEast coast.
We both live in California.
And I have needed to do thatbecause my mom isn't doing well
and my brother and I needed tofind a better solution to how
she was gonna live because shewasn't thriving in the house
(04:30):
that she'd been in for the last40 years.
So we ended up, getting her toagree to move into a senior
living community.
We found one that she reallyloved Got her, we got her moved
in, that wasn't the end of it.
Then we had to sell off thefurniture that she couldn't
bring with her and we had to dotremendous amount of financial
(04:55):
jockeying for her and theneventually we had to sell the
house and it's really still notover and it's been going on for
over a year.
I listened to her talk and Ilooked at her at one point and I
said, Sandy.
and I don't have children who'sgonna do that for us?
that really became the question,who's gonna do that for us?
(05:17):
That started me on my trajectoryof thinking about researching,
talking about, and ultimatelywriting about solo aging.
Yasmin Nguyen (05:28):
Hmm.
Sarah.
Now when we talk about soulaging, can you help define what
solo aging means?
Because I think there may besome different interpretations
out there.
Sara Geber (05:37):
Yes, there are many different interpretations out
there.
And just hearing the word, a lotof people assume that, I mean,
single people, people who nevermarried, people who have lost a
spouse, people who are divorced.
and that is not exactly what Imean.
I now define a solor as someonewho is aging without the support
(06:02):
of family, that may includepeople who have kids.
If those kids live very far awayif they're estranged, I have a
neighbor, for instance, who'sbecome a good friend and she and
her husband have one child, ason, and when he was about 30,
(06:25):
he had the nerve to fall in lovewith a Danish woman.
Well, where do you think they'reliving and raising their kids?
So is he going to be able tosupport them as they get older
and need some help?
don't think so.
He now has three kids.
They don't have any plans tomove out of Copenhagen, that's
(06:48):
just one example of justmillions of people who have
experienced something.
I've started calling the familydiaspora.
I have another neighbor whoevery Sunday at five o'clock,
they have a Zoom meeting withtheir two adult children who
live.
Very far away elsewhere in thecountry.
So it's a sort of a fluiddefinition and people need to
(07:11):
self-identify more than anythingelse.
there are sad cases wherefamilies have become truly
estranged and those people are.
Certainly solo agers too.
but my original category, andthe one I still believe, holds
the most credence for being soloagers are people that don't have
(07:33):
children.
Because after all, when you lookaround at society and who is
caring for the oldest in ourcommunities, it's primarily
their adult children.
sometimes that kind ofcaregiving becomes job.
For several years.
Kathleen Mundy (07:51):
I have to say, Sarah, I can identify with.
your ethos of what you're doingand the comments you just made.
Because, I remember one of thefirst, gatherings that Yasmin
and I had when we were doingsome research on the topic of
aging and retirement.
had a group of people in, one ofwhich was a solo.
(08:13):
When I hear of solo aging, Iremember her and she was a
little resentful of what washappening and the information
that she was, was made availableto her.
But I really never really, Ihaven't thought about your.
Concept in those terms until youjust explained it.
I'm so glad you did because it,it does make a difference if you
(08:37):
don't have children you havechildren that, that live miles
or countries away, you're stillfaced with the situation of
who's going to take care of allthose needs and make those
decisions.
And I've gone through helping.
An aging parent relocate and itis no small feat.
Sara Geber (08:59):
Yeah.
Kathleen Mundy (09:00):
So I really appreciate and I know that our
listeners are really gonnaappreciate what we have to offer
in today's podcast.
Yasmin Nguyen (09:06):
Sarah, what have you noticed are some unique
challenges that Solo Agersfaced, that's different from
those that may have family orother types of support?
I.
Sara Geber (09:17):
Sure.
the, I think the biggest hurdlein front of solo agers is where
am I gonna live as I get older?
There's a huge for making thingsright for people to age in
place.
Communities are gettinginvolved.
to see that because a lot ofpeople will be aging in place no
(09:39):
matter what I say, or do soloagers among them.
But honestly, I think it is apretty crummy solution for solo
agers.
A lot of people see that as akind of a polar decision.
Do I age in place or do I moveinto some kind of senior living
environment, which is a goodsolution for many people.
(10:00):
I know thousands of people arevery happy in senior living
communities, so it's a greatoption for solo agers who can
afford it for one thing.
and there are other solutionsyou might age in place with
someone that you're close to,someone that you like.
(10:21):
There is more home sharing goingon now than ever before, and
there are organizations, somelocal, some national, that help
match people to live togetherat, you know, all of the Golden
Girls.
I think that's probably the bestexample of home sharing that's
out there, and everybody's seenat least one episode of the
Golden Girls.
(10:42):
they lived together.
There were actually twogenerations living there in that
house at one point because, theB Arthur character had, a mother
s still Getty that was livingwith them.
And then there were two otherwomen.
They were all more or less intheir sixties and seventies, I
would guess, except for Estelle,who was clearly in her, mid to
(11:03):
late eighties.
They didn't like each other allof the time, but ultimately they
did truly love and care for oneanother.
And the idea of having somebodyat home that cares for you, that
says, how was your day?
That says, look a littleconcerned about something.
of those kind of everydaytransactional sort of,
(11:27):
discussions that we have andrelationship based discussions
that we have can't take place.
If you're all by yourself manysolo agers who do live alone,
proclaim that they love livingalone, they're independent and
they're always gonna beindependent.
But it's hard to take your, your
Yasmin Nguyen (11:49):
Yes.
Sara Geber (11:51):
self and put it in what may be your 95-year-old
body and understand what you'llneed at that point.
'cause that's a very differentpicture.
People, no matter what you liketo think, people do become more
frail.
They come become less, a lessmobile.
(12:12):
They become less, less able todo some of the things that
they've been doing all theirlives, and it may be due to a
declining mental condition thatwill be fall, probably quarter
to a third of us.
and it may be to a decliningphysical condition.
(12:34):
But regardless of, what you hopewill happen to you as you get
older, reality is that there area lot of things that can happen
to you that would make you lessable to continue living alone.
So that's what I encouragepeople to think about,
alternatives to living alone.
Kathleen Mundy (12:54):
Sarah, you mentioned something about the
community, whether it be a smallcommunity with, the Golden Girls
or whether it's a largerretirement community, want you
to explain what, in your mind,the misconceptions might be
about solo aging.
Sara Geber (13:10):
when you say misconceptions about solo aging,
Kathleen Mundy (13:14):
talked a little bit about some of the challenges
that they have, but I'mwondering, you said there's the
reality.
And then there's the ideology.
So what do you think thedifference of those two
parameters might be?
Sara Geber (13:28):
put in those terms.
I think people, again, have areally hard time imagining what
they will be like.
In 20 years.
if you're sitting therelistening to this and you're 65
or 70 or maybe 75, and youthink, well, you know, I'm doing
great.
my doctor gives me a clean billof health and I have a cranky
(13:49):
hip that acts up once in awhile, or, gosh, I have some
dental issues I have to takecare of.
Those all seem like tremendouslysurmountable And yes, we
probably all know that one96-year-old who's doing great
and still driving and stillgetting around and has, a clear
(14:13):
mind and is still problemsolving, that's the extreme
exception.
And it's getting people tounderstand that they probably
won't quite be the person theyare today when they're 95 is.
That's the challenge.
That's really the challengebecause people don't seem to be
able to project like that.
Kathleen Mundy (14:36):
Very true.
Yasmin Nguyen (14:37):
Sarah, you, we focused on the living situation,
which is a huge, area to planfor and to address.
I'm curious, what are some ofthe other areas specifically
that are relevant to solo ages?
Like perhaps, you hinted atsocial aspects, but what else,
do solo agers and their support,need to consider, for, preparing
(14:59):
for this journey?
Sara Geber (15:01):
Well, the, there's of course the financial aspect
and there's the legal aspect.
and so much of what I say reallypertains to anyone, not just
solo agers, but for solo agers.
the way I like to think of it isfor solo agers, there's no
safety net.
I have, I have a good friendwho, actually is the father of a
(15:23):
contemporary of mine who livedto be 99 and in the last five
years of his life, I.
He ended up feeling like heneeded to turn over a lot of his
financial stuff, his billpaying, his discussions with
his, financial planner, thosekind of things.
He ended up saying, I'm gonnaturn this over to my son
(15:47):
because, and bring him up tospeed on what the situation is.
and he ended up.
Bringing in someone to cook forhim and to clean.
were things that at 96 ish, hejust finally said enough.
He was a strong, independentguy.
(16:10):
He had lost his wife 10 yearsbefore and he drove up until the
time that he was in his, atleast early nineties.
and then was again persuaded byhis children to ultimately give
up the keys.
just don't have children thatare coming gonna come in and
pick up the slack like that.
(16:30):
So do we just wait and see?
I'll just wait and see whathappens.
not so safe for solo agers.
Planning ahead of time withsomeone, a younger person that
can step in and take over thosefunctions is really important
for solo agers.
Kathleen Mundy (16:51):
I think to your point though, I remember hearing
speak about the stool, thefinance, the legal, the
financial, and the social.
I really was interested to, tounderstand how important the
social aspect aging was fromyour point of view.
Sara Geber (17:07):
Yeah, the social aspect is all tied up in where
you're gonna live.
It's, it is almost completelydependent on that you may be
very able to go out and meetfriends for lunch and
participate in your book cluband even go to the gym at this
point in your life.
(17:28):
just can't count on being ableto do that.
10, 15, 20 years from now, youjust can't, you may not be able
to drive anymore.
I'm 75.
I have a number ofcontemporaries who've already
stopped driving at night acouple who've stopped driving
altogether.
(17:48):
yes, we are fortunate in thisday and age to have Uber and
Lyft and some alternatives to,especially those of us who live
in areas without any publictransportation.
so those are helpful.
But having a backup plan reallyimportant.
So that's the social, thefinancial and the legal actually
(18:13):
need to be assigned to someoneyou trust to pick up the slack
if and when you need that.
Now, who knows?
You may.
End your time on Earth.
You may be on the other side ofthe ground, before you ever need
any of this, fine.
But that, in my mind, thatdoesn't mean you shouldn't plan
(18:35):
for it because we'd all like tolive as long as possible,
especially if we're gonna be,healthy enough to enjoy it.
So.
here in California we havesomething called a professional
fiduciary, and that's someonethat literally can come in and
be the son or daughter that youdon't have that can take over
that function.
(18:56):
Of course, that costs somemoney.
there are, patient advocates.
There are professionalguardians, most elder law
attorneys.
and some they call themselvesstate attorneys or elder law
attorneys.
They usually know of people thatcan do that because they've
(19:16):
worked with people in the pastand will be working with many
more in the future as solo agingbecomes much more prevalent.
they have resources.
So I, that's the first place togo.
If you have an attorney thatyou're working with, he or she
is a good place to, to go forthat resource.
Also, your, county Agency onAging, your council on Aging,
(19:39):
your senior center.
They may know of people.
this is a countrywide audiencelistening to this potentially, I
don't know what resources youhave in your state.
I think the first line ofdefense on this are often.
Trusted nieces, nephews, youngercousins.
(20:00):
I have a, a younger cousinthat's about, about 14 years
younger than I am, and she isone of the people that is named
on my advanced directive forhealthcare and on my power of
attorney for finances.
Another person that I have namedis the son of a very good friend
of mine, known that.
(20:21):
Their mother, I've known sincewe were five years old.
I've known her son since he wasborn and I know his values.
I know that he's someone I cantrust.
So these are people.
Now I am married, so my husband,of course, is my first line of
defense as I am his, but wedon't know who's gonna go first.
(20:41):
We have no idea.
we're both planning as though wemight be solo agers.
True solo agers.
we are solo agers by mydefinition, but we are both
planning as though we might bethe one standing, alone.
Yasmin Nguyen (20:57):
Sarah, you had talked about these fiduciaries
and also, professionals that areworking with people and I'm
curious.
I.
As a, let's say, professional,financial advisor or maybe legal
professional who may be workingwith a solo ager, what are some
important questions or thingsthat they need to be aware of
that's unique to a client thatis, is on the solo aging
(21:20):
journey?
Sara Geber (21:22):
there are a number of things that both financial
professionals and legalprofessionals can do to, assist
their clients.
And as you're probably seeingYasmin, and I know the financial
advisors that I know, and I knowa number of them in this area.
are seeing are, opportunities tohelp people fill in the gaps.
(21:45):
you wanna say, let's get yourfamily involved, then you can't
do that with a solo ager.
You need to find some otherresources.
So I encourage the professionalsthat I know, both in, in legal
and in finance to startcollecting.
Now start your Rolodex.
That's a term that dates me.
(22:06):
putting your Rolodex together ofresources for your clients.
the financial advisors that Iknow here are already putting
together workshops.
I do local workshops for soloagers, and they're starting to
put their people into myworkshops and starting to come
up with, they're actuallyfilling the workshops.
(22:29):
that's one resource that you cando, that you can create.
There are a number of, oh gosh,villages and senior centers
around the country that arestarting solo ager support
groups.
I am certainly a big fan ofthat.
I'm applauding every time I seeone of those, pop up on my
(22:51):
Google alerts.
'cause I have a Google alert onanything solo ages and I'm so
pleased to see that and I, so Iencourage professionals to do
that.
Yasmin Nguyen (23:00):
Yeah, well, whenever I have my alerts,
mostly you show up'cause you'rein the epicenter of a lot
conversation Sarah.
Uh,
Sara Geber (23:09):
everything anymore.
Kathleen Mundy (23:11):
always try and relate to our, our guests, and I
have to say that I have done sowith you because my children, I
have four children, none of themare close.
And we've, thought do we age inplace?
And I know that you believeaging in place is only good if
there's some community aroundyou.
(23:33):
I don't wanna be lonely andsometimes aging in place
provides that for people,whether they want it or not.
Usually they wouldn't.
But that is the case.
and I'm just wondering, I'velearned so much.
What are some of the lessonsthat you've learned from
personally dealing with thistopic over the last, gosh, 20
(23:53):
years?
Sara Geber (23:54):
I have learned all of the different resistances
people have to changing theirlifestyle.
Kathleen Mundy (24:00):
Isn't that.
Sara Geber (24:02):
And it's again, that the terms that I put it in today
are people are fairly incapableof putting themselves into their
95-year-old bodies.
Now, I will say, and I often askthis in the presentations that I
make, to anyone.
(24:22):
I will ask the question, howmany of you raise your hand?
how many of you took care ofyour aging parents?
And of course, almost half.
At least half the hands go up inalmost every setting.
Those are the people that getit.
They get it.
What's in store for them?
(24:42):
that's why they're attending mypresentation.
In fact, usually three quartersof the hands go up.
I wouldn't be one of thosepeople because I didn't take
care of my aging parents.
They both died when I was fairlyyoung, and they was fairly
young.
They were fairly young, so Inever had that experience.
Same with my in-laws.
(25:03):
those that have had theexperience and really seen what
I call deep aging, creates theenvironment that creates and the
challenges that creates, reallyget it that they need to do
something to protect themselves.
Kathleen Mundy (25:18):
That's insightful.
And I think no one, can predictas you suggest, because, health
concerns can happen at any age.
Sara Geber (25:26):
Right.
Kathleen Mundy (25:26):
I'm gonna share this little story.
I, because you, I know that it'sgonna help you.
a good friend of mine, herhusband was.
Seventies.
She's in her late sixties.
He had a stroke and passed away.
She had suffered from dementiafor the last year.
they were so low aging parentsbecause her son was miles and
(25:49):
miles away and now it is a mess.
they can't find their fi, theirfinancials, where it's in a
place that was going to beaccessible by anyone.
They hadn't positionedthemselves to have someone else
Sara Geber (26:03):
Yep.
Kathleen Mundy (26:03):
step in with power of attorneys or any estate
planning.
And it is now become.
An extended family's problem,and even though you know she has
a child, doesn't necessarilymean, as you said, it could be
estranged and it's still you.
You have to depend on your ownin planning, This happened
(26:25):
recently to me that I was madeaware of my friends.
it's the change that we can'tanticipate.
And as you said, sometimespeople just don't like the
lifestyle change if they haveto.
Make plans for, an extendedperiod of time.
You and I are the same age, andwhen I look at what, I've got
another 20, I'm hoping at least20, 25 years, what is I gonna
(26:48):
look like, where do I wannalive?
all of those questions come tomind's a little young to even
worry about that yet.
But, it's
Sara Geber (26:58):
But it's, he's at the right age to start thinking
about it and planning for it.
Kathleen Mundy (27:02):
He he is
Yasmin Nguyen (27:03):
speaking of solo aging, I've never been married,
don't have a girlfriend, don'thave any kids.
I am sure 40 plus years is gonnago by, like in a blink of an eye
here as well too.
So I'm definitely very awareand, wanna be mindful as to
what's gonna happen between nowand then as well.
Sara Geber (27:21):
sure.
Kathleen Mundy (27:22):
I love that we can have a little levity around
this very serious topic.
Sara Geber (27:26):
He says.
Kathleen Mundy (27:27):
one that I think will, and first of all, it will
affect everyone whether you area solo ager or whether you have
a friend who is, or someone inyour extended family might be.
So I depth and breadth of thisconversation is a wonderful,
element for those, for ouraudience.
And I'm sure that they're gonnashare this with a lot of their
(27:49):
friends and family as.
Yasmin Nguyen (27:51):
Yeah.
Hey, Sarah, I'm curious, hasthere been a solor that you've
been in touch with, worked with,attended one of your events that
is an inspiration, like your,something about them that, that
really has been a role model forhow, fulfillment and joy could
be in, in this journey?
Sara Geber (28:12):
Yeah, I've had a number of people in my workshops
really take action, once theygot it, that they were on their
own, they needed to do that.
My most recent, I success story,I don't even consider it a
success story for me.
I think my most wonderful,Example of someone whose eyes
(28:33):
were opened by some of thethings I said is a woman who
through a, a local workshop thatI did, and I always do these
workshops in person.
I.
Locally so that pe I can bringin experts and I bring in a, a
financial expert.
I bring in a legal expert.
(28:54):
I bring in, professionalfiduciary, and I bring in a
senior care advisor.
So after listening to me and allof these other experts, she
realized that she has a husbandwho has Parkinson's and they
were still living in their.
Single family home and beforethe workshop was over and the
(29:16):
workshop lasts six months, wemeet once a month for six
months.
Kathleen Mundy (29:21):
Wow.
Sara Geber (29:21):
gives people time to actually make some changes and
do some of the things we'retalking about.
So, At the last session, sheannounced that they had put
their house for sale.
She had found a senior livingcommunity.
They were scheduled to move in.
She had done the homework.
During the six months, she hadgone out and looked at a lot of
senior living communities andfound the one that really
(29:42):
appealed to them, and that waswithin their budget and they're
moving That's, that was the mostrecent and most splashy example
I could give you.
Kathleen Mundy (29:55):
Good for you.
Good for you.
Sara Geber (29:57):
And good for her.
It is.
The whole thing is life changingand they're gonna be in a PO
position where they're not sovulnerable.
there she is.
She's our age with a husband whohas par advanced Parkinson's.
Talk about vulnerable.
Okay.
No kids.
Kathleen Mundy (30:17):
Let's talk about the vulnerability.
and I'm sure that you've foundothers who've taken your
workshop or have beenparticipants in maybe an
audience that you've, addressed.
Have they spoken or realizedtheir vulnerabilities until you
bring it to the forefront?
Sara Geber (30:32):
Well, they've realized it to the extent that
they're willing to putthemselves in the workshop.
I admire people who getthemselves outta their comfort
zone enough to even come to oneof my talks.
they've acknowledged at leastthat they are vulnerable.
There's things that they need toset up for themselves as they
get older.
many of them took care of anaging parent.
(30:54):
And they get it, that there'snobody down the line to do that
for them.
I read a piece of literaturewhen I was first researching all
of this about 10 years ago.
and of course there wasn't anygerontology literature, but I
found some sociology andanthropology literature.
And one, I think had said thatin the, in all of the.
(31:21):
American societies and many ofthe tribal societies that he had
studied.
The one conclusion that he couldmake was that children are the
only Morally committed to takingcare of their aging parents.
(31:42):
That's the only, it's a moralimperative in most societies of
the world that children takecare of their aging parents.
I,
Yasmin Nguyen (31:52):
I can attest to that.
Yeah.
I currently, myself and mysister, we're actively helping
take care of our elderly parentsas well too.
Yeah.
Sarah, this has been such a richconversation.
I, and I feel like there's somany different areas that we can
dive deeper, and I know that'swhy you've written your book and
you've got, a number ofdifferent talks that you give.
(32:13):
How can our listeners connectwith you and learn more about
your work so that they can beable to either, experience this
themselves, but also be able toshare it with their communities
and clients that they're workingwith?
Sara Geber (32:26):
the first thing to do if you're new to this whole
topic is to buy my book.
I'm not self-published.
I have a publisher, so I don'tmake money advertising my book.
My publisher might make a fewbooks, but it has now sold over
12,000 copies in six years.
So I am, I'm pleased at that andI'm proud of that.
(32:47):
it's a good primer.
On solo aging, and it's calledEssential Retirement Planning
for Solo agers.
It's available anywhere.
You can order it from your localbookstore, which I always
encourage.
You can buy it from any of theonline book sellers.
It's available in print.
It's available, in, in audioavailable on Audible.
(33:11):
It's available.
In, e-reader format, so any wayyou like to read, it's
available.
Yasmin Nguyen (33:17):
Great.
I'll make sure we include linksto, to your book as well too
Kathleen Mundy (33:22):
What a.
Yasmin Nguyen (33:23):
Sarah, it's so important that you and the
community of, thought leaderslike yourself who focus on this
particular area because I thinkthat it's an often forgotten,
segment and it, but it's thereality of so many of us who are
aging and whether we are awareof it or not, at some point in
time we will be.
(33:44):
Alone as well too.
So to be prepared is such animportant piece.
so grateful to have you join ustoday and just share your
wisdom.
Sara Geber (33:52):
Thank you for having me.
I appreciate it.
Kathleen Mundy (33:54):
I've loved dark conversation.
Yasmin Nguyen (33:56):
Yeah.
Kathleen Mundy (33:57):
so much.
Yasmin Nguyen (33:57):
any final thoughts before we, we just wrap
up?
Sara Geber (34:01):
just I think for everybody, if you aren't a solo
ager, I bet you have one in yourfamily or in your community.
So might notice that there aresolo agers around and encourage
them to do some planning upfront so they're not left a bad
situation.
(34:22):
like the story we just heard.
Yasmin Nguyen (34:24):
thank you so much Sarah.
So happy that we got a chance tospend some time together today.
Sara Geber (34:28):
Thank you.
Yasmin Nguyen (34:29):
Thank you for taking the time to join us
today.
If you enjoyed this episode orfound it valuable, please
subscribe, follow and leave acomment or view on your favorite
platform.
If you have friends, clients, orloved ones who are retired or
thinking about retirement, weinvite you to share this show
with them.
Check out this show notes withlinks to resources mentioned in
(34:50):
thisepisode@realretirementshow.com.
Remember, retirement is a joyfuljourney we get to experience
together.
Join us next week for anotherreal retirement conversation.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.