From Therapy Notes to Author: The Accidental Book Journey

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What happens when years of therapeutic writing suddenly resurfaces as the foundation for a transformative book? In this deeply personal episode, Chris reveals his journey into authorship after discovering eight detailed chapters he'd written during trauma therapy years ago—writing he had no memory of creating.

The decision to transform these raw materials into a published book wasn't made lightly. After careful consideration and encouragement from those closest to him, Chris shares his twofold purpose: creating a lasting legacy for his sons while simultaneously helping both grieving clients and the financial advisors who serve them. This book represents the culmination of his life's work—turning personal trauma into what one client recently called his "Superman powers" to quickly understand, empathize with, and guide others through their grief journey.

Chris takes us behind the scenes of his publishing journey, from vetting potential publishers through extensive reference checks to selecting a ghostwriter who will help compile his existing material from 93 podcast episodes and countless client interactions. We hear how a simple interaction with a 10-year-old who recognized him from his podcast reinforced the impact his story already has on others. The episode concludes with news that this is the season finale, with more updates on the book's progress coming when the podcast returns in the fall.

Have you found meaning through your own grief journey? Share your thoughts and follow along as Chris transforms his personal experiences into a resource that will help others navigate life after grief. Subscribe now to be notified when we return with more insights and updates on Chris's book writing process.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to Real Talk with Life After Grief Chris,
where we talk about relevantissues as it relates to
individuals in grief as theynavigate finances and the
advisors who help them.
We help clients in griefnavigate financial matters.
We also teach advisors how toemotionally and financially work
with clients in grief throughan unparalleled process to

(00:24):
emotionally and financially workwith clients in grief through
an unparalleled process.
This week's podcast issponsored by Life After Grief
Financial Planning and LifeAfter Grief Consulting.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Real
Talk with Life After Grief.
Chris, I'm pretty excited aboutthis podcast.
Bet you didn't know that I'm inthe process of writing a book.
I'm going to say that again.
I bet you didn't know that I'min the process of writing a book
.
I'm going to tell you about theprocess, I'm going to tell you
about what the book is about andI'm going to tell you about the

(00:58):
purpose of the book.
So during the course of therapymost folks know that I've been
to extensive therapy through allthe trauma and the tragic stuff
that I've seen in my life andexperienced.
And so through the course oftherapy, man, probably six years
ago, seven years ago, I startedwriting and for me it was

(01:19):
really just therapeutic and Ibegan writing chapters about
kind of the start of the traumain my life and I think I can
nail it back to when I hadmeningitis, the first trauma
that I experienced.
And through the course ofwriting I didn't remember

(01:40):
writing any of these chaptersand I take it to a point,
probably within the last year, Iwas like man, let me start
writing and see where thisprocess goes.
So I put in my computer chapterone.
For some reason I put chapterone and it popped up and I was
like that's interesting and Iread it and I was like, well, I

(02:01):
guess I did write that it wasvery, very specific and I did
that process through eightchapters.
I had no recollection of mewriting the eight chapters and
for me, writing was a source ofputting all of these memories as
I was going through my EMDRtherapy and some other things
that I was going through on ashelf to get these things out,

(02:22):
to help me progress through thethings that I was going through
and to help me heal.
And as I was going back thiswas recently and some time ago I
realized how specific some ofthose memories were and I was
even shocked.
It was almost like anout-of-body experience.
So, fast forward to probably two, three months ago, I was

(02:45):
approached by a publisher andthey did a 30 second interview
with me and they turned around asummary within 12 hours.
Now I'm smart enough to knowbetter I'm not a writer and I
won't proclaim to be a writerthat I did not believe that
someone could turn around writea summary of my spoken word in

(03:09):
12 hours.
And I actually asked thepublishing outfit and they said
that there was a bit of AI used,and so I'm someone that's a
little bit old school in certaindynamics.
I don't want AI to writeanything for me in regards to my
spoken word or anything thatcomes out in kind of this format

(03:31):
.
So I've been also encouraged toseriously consider writing a
book by some folks that know me,that are very, very close to me
and they have really put allthe pieces of my life together,
and there's a lot that's oneither social media or on
podcast or through blogs, butthere's a lot there, and I went

(03:53):
back recently and there were, Ibelieve, 93 podcasts that I did.
So there's a lot of justdifferent things that I've
experienced, and I add people inand we have similar experiences
and we talk about that, and Itook the leap of faith, with
some strong encouragement, to goahead and start this process
formally.
I had already had a lot ofwritten material, and the number

(04:17):
one question that I was askedwas why are you looking to do
this?
And first and foremost, I saidI want to have a legacy for my
boys.
I want them to reallyunderstand that who their father
really is and the things thathe's really gone through, and
come out the other side and tosome extent been dealt a

(04:38):
disadvantage and still came outon the other side.
Their dad made a decision to bea better person than the
product of his environment.
The other aspect is I help alot of people in my professional
life and so I wanted a formatto where I could really
articulate that from again, myword and the things that I have

(05:02):
been through individually andthe people that have helped me
and how I've come out the otherside and hence life after grief
and there's a progression in mylife and a lot of things that
have happened.
But my hope and what I've beentold is the way that I've
conducted myself and had all ofthese tragic, traumatic

(05:23):
experiences and I've translatedthose into a gift.
I was actually talking to aclient today in my financial
practice that said and I'm kindof hesitating saying this but
she said use your Supermanpowers.
And I said my Superman powersare a product of everything that
I've been through and I canquickly turn things around with

(05:45):
this particular client.
She experienced the loss of hermother and she had an
expectation and I said it's afair expectation to come to me,
listen to you, hear you andextract the important things to
help you out immediately andthat's in a financial sense, and
I said that's a fairexpectation.

(06:06):
And I don't think she wanted toown up to it, but I said it's a
fair expectation.
That's why you come to me andimmediately I'm snapping my
fingers.
After our conversation, she hada plan of action to go forward.
Now I'm going to help her withthis process and I gave her a
little bit of homework and I wasvery sensitive and the dynamics

(06:26):
of her mother passing away anda lot of the things that I teach
I obviously put into practice,but I was going to help her out.
And so her hearing my story,her listening to my podcast she
had said I listen to yourpodcast when I need help.

(06:56):
I want to be a source of lightto folks that either have
nowhere else to go or want toassimilate themselves with
someone that's had a likeexperience.
I'm not going to say the sameexperience, but a similar
experience and a similar trainof thought and brain fog and
everything that comes along withthat.
That Also.

(07:19):
I'm taking that a step furtherin the dynamic that I train
other advisors to do exactlywhat I do.
I can't expect anyone to followthe process that I do and I
can't expect anyone to walk inmy shoes, but what I can do is
lay the foundation for otherpeople meaning financial
advisors, certified financialplanners and other professionals
to follow the process that I do, to help out clients and to
make their life seamless, justlike the client that I worked

(07:41):
with today.
And so it's twofold.
So I'm writing it outside ofthe aspect for a legacy for my
boys, but to help out clientsand then also motivate and help
financial advisors and certifiedfinancial planners and that
dynamic.
So I have some funny things totell you about this process.
I've selected a publisher.

(08:02):
I'm self-publishing, but Ineeded some help with a
publishing outfit and I'm alsogoing to be using a ghostwriter.
Now I have a lot of writtenmaterial and a lot of podcast
material.
My use of a ghostwriter isreally to interview me and
compile all this information,which I had no idea that I had
all of this information until Istarted doing the research.

(08:22):
But the funny aspect is, afterthis publishing outfit that did
the initial summary interviewedme, I was like, well, I need to
make a decision whether I'mgoing to get serious about this
process.
So then I reached out to threeother firms One of the firms was
a well-known publishing firmDidn't work out and they weren't
the right fit for me and it wasa really cookie cutter the

(08:47):
process with this other firm I'mnot going to name them and they
just weren't.
It wasn't a good fit for me andif you've heard me and you've
listened to me, I'm very detailoriented and I'm very specific
and that wasn't a very goodmatch for that publishing house.
The third one, I guess I couldsay that I reached out to.
They weren't, just weren't veryreceptive.

(09:08):
And then the fourth one that Ireached out to, something that I
knew in my heart is that anyonethat I work with on a
professional level, they have towant to know Chris Dale and
they have to want to know how Ithink and what makes me and what
motivates me.
And what motivates me ishelping other people and using

(09:30):
this gift that I've been givenand I feel that I'm obligated to
share this gift and bestow iton other people and I'm very,
very excited about this process.
So the publisher that I selected, she came her firm, I should
say, came highly recommended andI verify references and I do a

(09:53):
lot of background checking.
I do that kind of in myprofessional and as well as I
did reference checks extensivelywith the publishing houses that
I was looking to work with, andyou would be amazed at the

(10:15):
information that you find outthrough references.
One of the references that Ispoke with, one of the
publishing houses, gave me somespecific on information on
contracts that this publisher nolonger offers or was reluctant
to offer.
Another one was reluctant togive me references, and so you

(10:36):
can see how I'm starting to rulepublishing companies out.
And then another one justdidn't get back with me, but the
one that I selected.
They gave me five or sixreferences.
Every one of the referencescame by word of mouth, meaning
they were referred, and I wassubsequently referred to this

(11:00):
publisher and I'm going to keepthis under wraps until I get a
little bit further.
I'm going to keep you in alittle bit of suspense in
regards to who my publisher is,but I can say they are as
equally excited as I am for theprocess, and so I officially
signed a contract with them afew days ago and the specifics.
My attorney looked at thecontract and gave me some

(11:22):
recommendations and gave me somerecommendations and obviously
their attorney drafted theircontract and we came to an
agreement in regards to somethings that I wanted in the
contract.
That were some items that werenot necessarily in there, but it
was just for my individualtaste and man, I'm really
excited about the process ofgetting this off the ground and

(11:45):
really helping folks.
On another level, and I'veknown a handful of people that
have written books and I'velearned a lot from the folks
that have written books and I'mnot going to go into all that
detail.
As I get through the nextseason of my podcast, I'm going
to be giving some informationleading up to different

(12:09):
milestones with the book inparticular, but I've committed
to the process.
I'm very, very excited and I'mmore excited that this is going
to be another avenue to helpclients and it's going to be
able to help financial folks bein a better position to help
their clients in grief or goingthrough some transition in their

(12:33):
life and it having to deal withmoney.
So that's really exciting forme.
So I hope I can get you asexcited about this process as I
am and as I share it with morepeople, I get a lot more ideas
and I get a lot more energy and,as I'm going through the
process, I'll have a better ideaof where we're at and the

(12:56):
timeline of, you know, differentmilestones of the book and
potentially a release date atsome point hopefully sooner than
later and so, man, I'm reallyexcited.
So I appreciate all of thesupport from folks that follow
me, whether it's on social mediaor whether it's through my

(13:18):
podcast, and I have a funnystory for you.
So I was at a wedding thisweekend in Fort Lauderdale and
one of the cousins he's 10 yearsold, so he's the same age as my
10 year old son he comes up tome and he calls me Mr Chris and
I'm not sure why he calls me MrChris, but it's a form of
respect instead of just callingme Chris.
So he says Mr Chris, mr Chris,I've seen you online and I've

(13:41):
seen I'm laughing because he'sI've seen your videos and I've
seen your podcast, and I waslike, yeah, are you sure it was
me?
And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's you.
And then we kind of separateand go our own different ways,
and so he comes back, he runs upto me and says this is you,
this is you, this is when you'rerecording for your podcast.
And so that was a lot of funfor me when he said that and

(14:12):
again, the reason that I do thisis very genuine and is because
I want to help other people, butit brings it really home when
there's a child that sees thatand recognizes it and that's
pretty cool.
So I thought I'd share thatwith you.
So, more to come on the bookwriting no-transcript, and I

(14:47):
gave you the example of myclient and how I helped her.
Today and as I'm talking aboutthis, I'm actually looking at
myself, smile, so a lot ofenergy and I'm really, really
excited and I think I could saythat enough.
Please note that this will bethe final podcast of the season
and we will return in the fallwith more exciting episodes and
more information on me writing abook.

(15:10):
Cheers, be well.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Thanks for listening to our podcast.
If you are a client and arelooking to work directly with
Chris and or our firm, head onover to Life After Grief FP.
That is Life After Grief FP.
The FP is for financialplanning.
If you are an advisor lookingto emotionally and financially
work with your client in grief,or if you are a client looking

(15:38):
to get your advisor's head inthe game, head on over to
LifeAfterGriefConsultingcom.
That isLifeAfterGriefConsultingcom.
That islifeaftergriefconsultingcom.
Any related informationreferenced in this week's
podcast will be located here inthe podcast section.