Why Are You Holding Onto Pain?

Show Notes:
Beyond the fear of the unknown, getting emotionally attached & wanting validation and sympathy from others I experienced, there are several other reasons people will hold onto their pain.

Needing a sense of control is a common one. When you hang onto your pain, you feel more in control of your life & use it to feel significant, or even choose to define yourself by your pain.

Another common reason is believing you need to be punished or reminded of your pain on a regular basis, so you hold onto it until you believe your sentence is over.

Something I know a lot of people don’t even consider is holding onto their pain for lack of coping mechanisms. When you don’t know how to release the pain & find a way new way to process what’s going on, you WILL continue to cling to your pain. 

The most common reason is unresolved trauma. We haven’t taken the time to really understand what we are feeling, what it is leading us to do & think about, and what needs to happen next to move forward.

Romans 8:18, "Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later."
5 reasons we should no longer hold onto pain in our lives:

1. Improved Relationships 
   1. If there is bitterness, resentment or lack of trust in current relationships, letting go of your pain can alleviate some of these current things. 
   2. Psalm 147:3, “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”
2. Increased Resilience 
   1. You can’t bounce back very well from problems & struggles if you’re still carrying around pain from other experiences.
   2. Psalm 34:17-18: "The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
3. Personal Growth 
   1. When you keep hold of your pain, you hold yourself back in the past. You can’t move forward being so hyper-focused on what happened in the past.
   2. Matthew 11:28-30: "Then Jesus said, 'Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.'"
4. Being Open to New Things 
   1. Holding onto our pain is similar to having a fixed mindset. You narrow your view in life, thus missing out on opportunities.
   2. Philippians 4:6-7: "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
5. It Only Hinders Us, Never Helps Us 
   1. Clutching tight to your pain will NOT gain you anything. It will just get in your way & cause you more trouble. Let it go, please.
   2. John 14:27: "I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid."

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