October 3, 2024 • 29 mins
Join us for an insightful episode featuring Mindy Murphy, President and CEO of The Spring of Tampa Bay, as we explore the often unspoken complexities of domestic violence. This discussion sheds light on how abuse goes beyond anger, encompassing emotional and economic control as deliberate acts of power. Learn to recognize the signs in those around you, and discover prevention strategies, including resilience-building programs like Camp Hope America for children and innovative support for teens using violence. We also address post-pandemic challenges, the vital role of community advocates, and essential safety planning, all aimed at empowering survivors and fostering informed, supportive communities during Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
To learn more about The Spring and their cause, visit thespring.org
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
perspective.
Perspective is spelled p e r s,p e c t, I, v e perspective,
the 30 000 foot view perspectiveput on someone else's shoes.
Perspective can also refer tothe state of existing in space
(00:20):
or one's view of the world.
Perspective rea audio space, orone's view of the world
Perspective.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
REA Audio Reemployability.
October is Domestic ViolenceAwareness Month.
Its intent is to bring to theforefront the needs, experiences
and voices of survivors.
According to the NationalDomestic Violence Hotline
website, over one in three womenit's over 35% and one in four
(00:48):
men over 28% in the US haveexperienced rape, physical
violence and or stalking by anintimate partner in their
lifetime.
So we'd like to spend some timeto bring this issue to the
forefront and help youunderstand the truly devastating
impact domestic violence has,not only on those directly
affected, but the people intheir lives as well.
Mindy Murphy is the presidentand CEO of the Spring of Tampa
Bay, a local organization thatprovides safe spaces and
(01:11):
empowering services to survivorsof domestic violence and their
children.
Reemployability is proud to bea supporter of the Spring and to
call Mindy a friend.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
October was first declared as National Domestic
Violence Awareness Month in 1989.
Since then, October has been atime to acknowledge domestic
violence survivors and be avoice for its victims.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Mindy Murphy, thank you again for being with us on
REA Audio.
It is Domestic ViolenceAwareness Month, and I think
this is probably the third orfourth time that we've been
fortunate to have you on.
We've been fortunate to haveyou on, and I feel bad because
we should have you on more thanjust in October, because
domestic violence is an issuethat doesn't just happen in
October, and so I promise, ifyou're available, we would like
(01:54):
to have you on, you know, moretimes throughout the year so
that we can continue to bringsome attention to this, this
tragedy that's in our countryand across the world.
I'd like to start by just kindof if you could help us
understand what is thedefinition of domestic violence,
and has that changed over theyears?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Yeah, so there are two definitions of domestic
violence and one is the legaldefinition.
Each state will have a slightlydifferent legal definition of
domestic violence, as well asthe federal government, and the
legal definitions are tied tothe relationship between the
parties.
So you know, are you husbandand wife?
Or husband and husband?
You know wife and wife?
Did you live together as if afamily?
(02:34):
Do you have a child in commonRight?
And then they're also tied tovery specific acts of physical
or sexual violence for which youcan be arrested.
So that definition is, frankly,it's, very narrow and it's the
things that you can be heldaccountable by, you know, by law
enforcement and by the courts.
The working definition that allof us who actually provide
(02:58):
direct services to survivors ofdomestic violence use is a much
broader definition and it'sreally tied to one partner's use
of tactics of power and controlagainst the other partner, with
the express goal of gettingthat partner to do what they
want when they want, how theywant it.
So that broad definitionencompasses not only physical
(03:19):
and sexual violence, but alsoeconomic abuse, emotional abuse,
psychological abuse, all of theways in which one partner
inflicts harm on the otherpartner.
It's a much broader definitionand it helps explain to
survivors of domestic violence.
You know that they are in factvictims of domestic violence.
A lot of times they can't seeit If they haven't been
(03:40):
physically assaulted very manytimes or they haven't been, you
know, sexually assaulted manytimes.
They're asking am I even avictim?
And the answer is yes, andsometimes those tactics are even
worse, really, than thephysical violence.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
So you mentioned that part of your definition is to
where one person tries to makethe other person essentially do
what it is that they want themto do, make the other person
essentially do what it is thatthey want them to do.
So just you know, forclarification, it doesn't
necessarily mean that there'sphysical harm or that the person
(04:14):
that's perpetrating theviolence is is.
It's actually physical, right.
The mental violence cansometimes be be worse, as you
mentioned.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Is there a difference in how people may notice those
two different types of domesticviolence, if with a co-worker or
a family member or somethinglike that?
Because I was going to ask youabout that a little bit down the
line.
But I think it kind of makessense here for people to kind of
be aware of people that they'reinteracting with.
(04:42):
What are the signs and how canwe tell the difference?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Yeah.
So I mean, a lot of times youcan see, you know if you're with
.
Domestic violence happensbehind closed doors, right, and
the partner who is perpetrating,the abuser, right, the
perpetrator of domestic violenceis in control.
It's not a lack of control.
That's another important thing.
A lot of people want to equateit to anger management, like the
guy just kind of lost control,right?
(05:10):
Domestic violence is actuallythe exact opposite.
It is a very controlledbehavior and again, the abuser
has figured out the tactics thathe or she can use to get the
desired outcome, which isusually to get their partner to
cater to them, to take care oftheir needs first, to put them
above all others, to kind of,you know, attend to their every
(05:30):
whim.
So it's very controlled.
You know they choose whenthey're going to abuse, how
they're going to abuse, whatpart of the body they're going
to abuse.
Are they going to abuse overthe weekend, so that you know
the person doesn't have muchcontact with co-workers and
can't necessarily disclose so tothe coworker.
Sometimes you're not going tosee anything, but a lot of times
you're going to hear storieswhere you know, over time, you
(05:50):
know a lot of survivors startwith very good self-esteem, but
over time, you know, the personis, their self-esteem is
attacked every day, day in andday out.
And so you can begin to hear,you know, survivors telling
stories about the things thatthey have supposedly quote,
unquote done wrong, right,because the abuser is telling
them oh, you know, you're not agood cook, you're not a good
(06:13):
mother, you're not a good spouse, you're not good in bed, you're
ugly.
No one's going to want you, andthat stuff starts to spill out
of their mouth sometimes.
Or they're telling stories, oryou're at a work, you know,
event where the partners arethere, the spouses are there and
you see the partner, you know,making fun of their, of their
wife in front of others, right,telling demeaning stories.
(06:38):
You know minimizing thepartner's competence, those
things, you know.
You'll see those often infamilies.
You'll hear just this constantbelittling and that is a warning
sign, that's a huge warningsign that something isn't right
in that relationship and it'seasy to say to your friend or
your coworker you know, gosh, Iheard your, you know your
(06:59):
partner saying these thingsabout you the other day and I
just want you to know that's notat all how I see you.
I think you're strong andcompetent and beautiful and you
know it sure makes me sad when Ihear the person who says they
love you putting you down.
And then you stop, right,because you don't want to
belabor the point too much.
You want to just open that doorso that that coworker or friend
(07:21):
or family member knows thatyou've noticed the behavior and
that you might be a safe personif they bravely decide to
disclose that something'ssomething's amiss in the
relationship.
The other way you see it happenis you're really good friends
with this person, you've beenfriends for a long time and all
of a sudden you're never seeingthem anymore or they're never
available to do anything.
Because one of the big tacticsof abusers is isolation
(07:45):
available to do anything.
Because one of the big tacticsof abusers is isolation.
Right, if they isolate fromfriends and family.
If they, you know, force you tolose your job.
Right, they interrupt your job,they make you late for work,
they take away your car so youcan't get to work and all of a
sudden you're without a job.
Now you've got less supports,you've got less financial
support, but you also have lesspeople that you can talk to
about what's going on.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Yeah, I think when I think of the term domestic
violence, I don't think of itbeing that in depth or that
strategic, I think, by theabuser, you know, I.
So that wouldn't necessarilymean that a person that does fly
off the handle and use physicalviolence on a very on any
(08:27):
occasion, right, that that stillcounts as domestic violence,
though, right.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
One, one hundred percent Right.
If they're physicallyassaulting you, it's domestic,
it's definitionally, that's a,that's a legal definition of
domestic violence for which youcan be arrested.
But?
But when people have an angerand you can be a an abuser right
of your intimate partner andalso have an anger management
problem, but the people withanger management problems aren't
.
They're getting into fightswith their coworkers, they're
(08:52):
getting into fights with theirboss, they're getting into
fights in the bar.
They've got road rage right.
They are indiscriminate intheir explosive anger.
You know they can't necessarilycontrol who they're applying
the anger to.
Often people who abuse theirdating partners or their
intimate partners are verystrategic.
(09:13):
The only person they're abusingis their intimate partner right
, and they're, you know.
They're the beloved neighborwho helps, you know, change your
tire, you know, or helpvolunteers to mow your lawn
right.
They are concerned about theirstatus and what people think of
them in public, and so they arechoosing to terrorize only their
partner, and often theirpartner and their kids, because
(09:35):
having being living in ahousehold where domestic
violence is being perpetrated byone partner against another
also creates a 40 to 60 percentstatistical likelihood increased
likelihood that the childrenare also being abused in that
relationship.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
When it's that intentional, it's just a whole
different level of sickness inmy mind.
You know it almost it almost isagain in my mind, similar to
someone who's a murderer orsomething like that that is
specifically intent on doing.
Similar to someone who's amurderer or something like that
that is, you know, specificallyintent on doing harm to someone
else.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Well, and I use the term.
You know, I always say it'slike the con men of love,
because when you think about youknow con men or con women,
right, they are manipulative,they are very calculating,
they're very strategic.
Everything is chosen, behaviorand timing is everything in that
.
And abusers are the same way,right, this is absolutely
strategic and tactical on theirpart.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
So in the intro I read some statistics around
domestic violence.
I believe we had said that onein three women one in.
Four men have had it at somepoint.
Maybe it's a little bit notquite that, right?
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Yeah, that statistic it gets used by some, but if you
look at the research it'sreally more like one in seven to
one in nine men.
So when you tease out the, whenyou're looking for the actual
power and control behind a useof violence, right?
So, because when you ask people, has your partner ever hit you?
(11:09):
You might get the.
Well, yeah, you know she didthis to me because she was mad
at me.
But then if you were to askthem, are you ever in fear of
your partner?
Does your partner use any ofthese other tactics to control
you?
The answer is no.
So we see a significantlydisproportionate use of power
(11:31):
and control tactics when it'sdirected at women.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Right, of course, and I guess my question with those
statistics are those arereported instances, right?
Do you have any sense of whatthe real numbers are reported
instances right?
Speaker 3 (11:46):
do you have any sense of what the real numbers are?
I mean, I've seen you know, I'mnot a researcher by by by
training at all, but I've seensome, you know, some, uh,
researchers say if you take thereports and then you multiply
them by three, uh, you know, uh,you might get, you know, so, uh
, you might get a more accuratepicture of the amount of
violence that's occurring in acommunity or in a nation or in a
you know, or in the world.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
So that's disturbing.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Yeah, really, I mean at that level.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Yeah, is domestic violence something that is
generational?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Certainly it is statistically significantly more
likely if you grew up in a homewhere where one partner abused
the other partner.
That if you're, you know.
Generally speaking, if you're alittle girl growing up in that
home, you become much morelikely to become a victim, and
when you grow up, if you're alittle boy growing up in that
(12:35):
home, you become much morelikely to become a perpetrator.
It doesn't mean that it's goingto happen.
There are plenty of people whogrew up, you know there are
plenty of little kids who grewup in abusive households where
either the abuse was directlyperpetrated against them or they
were witnessing domesticviolence, where they're able to
connect the dots and say withthat what's going on there, Like
my dad or my mom doing that,that's not good, that's not what
(13:00):
adults should do and I'm notgoing to do that.
So you have kids who grow up inthese households and and and
actively choose, like I'm goingto go down a different path.
But far too many kids don'thave the opportunity to do that
either because you know, theyweren't wired as innately to be
as resilient, maybe, as anotherkiddo.
(13:22):
But often there's some researchthat says a kid, by the time
they're seven or eight ifthey're growing up and being
abused or witnessing abuse, ifthey can form a connection to
another adult and it doesn'thave to be like you know, I see
this adult every day.
It could be the next doorneighbor, like your friend
Johnny's you know mom and dad,or your next door neighbor or
your coach or or your teacher atschool or somebody in your
(13:44):
church, but there's some adultthat is loving and caring and
demonstrates what good adultslike, a good, healthy
relationship between adultslooks like and a good, healthy
relationship between adults andchildren looks like.
There is a segment of kids whothat they can hold on to that
and say my parent is not a goodadult, but Johnny's mom is right
(14:05):
, and somehow that can be thespark that helps them not
perpetrate in that nextgeneration.
But far too many kids repeatthe cycle.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
It's amazing how that is kind of ingrained in us as
human beings to understand whatright and wrong is even when
you're not being necessarilytaught what right is through the
example of your parents?
Are you aware of any programsthat kind of intervene with
children to try to pull them outof that cycle?
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Yeah, I mean I think you know we the spring has
programs.
So we have Camp Hope America,which is an evidence based
camping and mentoring programspecifically for kids who
witness domestic violence orexperience it in their homes or
experience child abuse directly,and it's a one-week sleepaway
camp and then it's paired withonce a month.
(14:53):
We have pathways programs sothose same kids get to do
something together once a monthto kind of keep that bond in
between.
You know, each summer when theyget to go to the camp that we
run for a week.
So that's one program.
We also have some youthadvocate work that we do
one-on-one with kids.
But also we have anintervention program for kids
who have started to use violenceto solve their problems as
(15:16):
they're moving into their teens,and so that's a six-week
program that interrupts theirthinking and teaches them
healthy alternative conflictresolution that doesn't involve
violence and overwhelmingsomebody with your power really
has done a lot of work inpreventing child abuse by
intervening in at-risk families'lives early to help them.
(15:37):
You know, see a different path.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
So and there's a lot of just general programs that
work with kids, where there's acomponent of really trying to
remind them that healthyrelationships don't use violence
to solve problems.
Right Now, Mindy, when we firsttalked, it was we were just
coming out of covid.
In fact, in some places aroundthe country they were probably
still pretty immersed in it andand you had mentioned that the
lockdowns really did you saw aspike in domestic violence
because of that.
Yeah, has there been anyimprovement that you've seen.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
It was interesting because even you know, several
years out of the pandemic, theuse of the intensity of the
violence, that escalation didn'treally dial back and we were
still seeing, for several yearsout of the pandemic, we've still
been seeing a lot of what wewould term high-risk cases.
(16:45):
So we have two advocates ourINVEST team it's Intimate
Partner Enhanced ViolencePrevention, where we're embedded
with the sheriff's office inour community and with the
police departments in ourcommunity to review all the
calls for law enforcementassistance regarding domestic
violence and we read thenarrative statement that the
(17:08):
victim makes.
We also read the statement thatthe law enforcement officer on
scene makes and we flag certainthings that we see that are
criteria for heightened riskthat the next time you know
they're called out it might be ahomicide, and so those are
things like strangulation.
Still, the single greatestpredictor of his capacity or her
(17:28):
capacity to kill you is if theyhave ever strangled you.
You know.
More commonly people say choked, you know, but attempted to
strangle you, restrict yourairflow, you know, smother you
with a pillow, push you upagainst the wall so you can't
breathe, restricting yourairflow, you know, during sex,
those things against your will,those things are the greatest,
single greatest indicator thathe has the capacity to kill you,
(17:52):
and you should pay attention tothat if that's happened in a
relationship that you're in.
Other things are use of violence, increased use of violence
during pregnancy Right, oftendirected at the pregnant belly.
You know if your partner, yourrecent partner, has lost his or
her job again.
You know if your partner, yourabusive partner, has lost his or
(18:12):
her job again.
You know increased use ofalcohol and drugs doesn't cause
domestic violence.
It just gives the abuserpermission to perform at a
higher, heightened level ofviolence.
So all of those things arewarning flags If you're getting
more isolated, if your partneris getting more jealous, if your
partner is tracking you, ifyour partner is stalking you.
(18:34):
And the most dangerous, singlegreatest predictor of heightened
danger is when you're leavingthe relationship or you've just
left the relationship, becauseif the partner feels like they
don't have anything to lose, youknow that's the time when they
might say I don't have anythingto lose, I'm going to kill you
and I'm going to kill myself.
So if they make threats ofkilling you, right, I'm going to
(18:57):
kill you if you leave me.
If they threaten to killthemselves in response to your
you know your demands for a moreequitable and safer
relationship.
Those are all things thatshould have you making plans for
your own safety.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
So tell us about those plans.
How do people safely exit arelationship that's like that?
Speaker 3 (19:17):
The single greatest thing that you can do is to work
with the domestic violencecenter in your area.
In the state of Florida thereare 41 certified domestic
violence centers.
We cover all 67 counties in ourstate and most states have a
statewide coalition and thenhave a series of direct service
providers, like the Spring ofTampa Bay here in here in Tampa.
So reaching out, calling thehotline to safety plan, we are,
(19:41):
you know we are not the expertsin your story.
You know best what's happenedto you and what your abuser's
propensity for escalatingviolence is, but we are experts
in asking questions to help youformulate the best plan for
yourself.
And that plan changes over time.
A safety plan is not, you know,like one and done.
You just create it and then youjust follow it for the next,
(20:03):
you know, 12 months.
Safety changes as circumstanceschange.
So reaching out to a certifieddomestic violence center, if
it's, even if it's only over thephone or text, we can help you
plan.
And then other things you knowfiguring out who are some
trusted individuals.
You know that you can tellwhat's going on and maybe have a
safe word that you create where, if you call right, I call my
(20:26):
friend Susie and I say, you know, popcorn like heightens and
knows something's not right.
And she, you know, and thatmeans get you know, call 911,
get services out, get someoneout to help me.
So packing a go bag down hereit's easy because unfortunately
we have hurricanes like we'vejust experienced.
(20:46):
But you can, you know, say I'mjust what's that bag you've got
there.
You know, girlfriend, that'sjust my safety, my hurricane
safety kit here I made one foryou too.
But in your hurricane kit youmake sure you have your
important papers right Copies ofif you've got kids, copies of
their birth certificates, allthe stuff you need if you flee
in the middle of the night, oryou flee in the middle of the
(21:07):
day because your partner's notthere and you need to enroll
your kids in school, you need toget them vaccinated, everything
that you need to restart yourlife.
You should have a copy and a gobag.
If you live in the Midwest, youknow, and there's, you're prone
to tornadoes.
It's your tornado go bag, right, you, if it's not safe to keep
it at home, keep it at afriend's house, because that's
(21:29):
one of the hardest things.
When survivors leave, theyoften flee with very little and
it can be very painful to tryand get tracked down.
You know the records you needto to rent an apartment, to
enroll your kids in school, etcetera.
So having that ready is areally huge step.
But really just thinking aboutyou know, if I do this what will
(21:52):
his response be?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
And anticipating those responses and taking kind
of evasive protective actions,so, mindy, we'll provide the
link to the Springs website iffolks are listening here in
Tampa Bay.
We have folks that listenacross the country.
So, as you mentioned, there areresources everywhere.
What's a good way for someoneto look up what their local
resource is?
Speaker 3 (22:14):
So often.
The easiest thing is to Googleyour state coalition.
So you type in Missouri, rightDomestic Violence Coalition, and
the coalition will pop upMichigan Domestic Violence
Coalition.
California, right, oregon,california, oregon.
Wherever you are, there is acoalition, a state domestic
violence coalition.
Sometimes it's a dual coalition, it's both the Domestic
(22:35):
Violence and Sexual AssaultCoalition.
But if you type in your state'sname and the words Domestic
Violence Coalition, that willpop up and the coalition one of
the things.
All coalitions provide trainingand technical assistance in the
state that they reside in to thedirect service providers.
But almost all of them alsogive a listing by zip code of
(22:57):
the direct service providers.
So then you can say you know,I've typed Illinois State
Coalition, I put in my you knowmy zip code in in Chicagoland
and up pops the direct serviceproviders for my area and all of
us have.
We all run hotlines right thatare 24-7.
State coalitions also all have24-7 hotlines, most of them.
(23:18):
So you can call, you can alsoget connected that way.
A lot of us have text to chat.
So if you don't want to talk onthe phone, you can text and
resources can be texted back toyou if it's safe.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
I would imagine you would ask people who may be
experiencing domestic violenceto err on the side of caution.
I can envision someone whomight hear this and be like well
, I don't know if it's reallyaffecting me or not.
Should I call?
You probably want them to call,right.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Yeah, always call Right no-transcript that you
(24:19):
stay with them and you attend totheir needs.
And so sometimes, by the timeyou realize something's wrong,
you're questioning yourself,because emotional abuse and
psychological abuse that's thewhole goal is to get you to
think that you're the one makingthis up and it's all in your
mind.
So just having a conversationwith somebody, even if you're
not ready to make a change,those questions that they ask
(24:42):
might get you to reallyunderstand.
Yeah, I'm not imagining this.
This isn't healthy.
And now I know that there's aresource in my community when
I'm ready to make that difficultand dangerous step of leaving.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
What's the best way for people to help the spring
here, locally or nationally?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Yeah, I mean.
So obviously I'm never going to, you know, not say money, right
, money.
You know money equals mission,right?
You can't deliver missionwithout money because you need
money to keep the lights on.
You need money to serve.
We serve.
You know money equals mission,right?
You can't deliver missionwithout money because you need
money to keep the lights on.
You need money to serve, weserve.
You know, like 46,000, someinsane number of meals a year in
our emergency shelter.
Right, we provide afull-service kitchen.
(25:20):
So you've got to put food onthe table for 128 people living
in our shelter, half of whom arekids.
We have a scattered sitehousing program, so 12
apartments plus about another 40families that we serve outside
of those apartments.
So money fuels the directservice to the survivors.
It also enables well-qualified,professionally trained staff to
(25:41):
provide those services.
The other thing we always needis stuff right.
So we have a donation centerthat takes gently used clothing
and furniture, because when afamily does flee domestic
violence and we help get themset up in a new apartment, they
need beds and they need pots andpans to cook and they need, you
know, bags of rice and peanutbutter and, you know, cereal to
(26:03):
feed their families in a newplace.
So almost every domesticviolence well, every domestic
violence center is going to tellyou they need money and most
every domestic violence centeris going to tell you they also
need stuff to help thosefamilies get back on their feet.
The other way you can help isby being a resource right,
simply making sure that you knowthe domestic violence center in
(26:23):
your area so that if somebodydoes you know, have some warning
signs or they come to you, youdon't have to be the hero, you
can simply say, hey, I know aresource and it's free.
You know we in the state ofFlorida are really blessed
because 30 of the 41 domesticviolence centers also have
attorneys on staff that providefree legal representation.
We happen to have seven onstaff here in Tampa, we have one
(26:47):
on staff in Marion County, inOcala, and one in North Florida
to serve the counties in thePanhandle.
So you know there are domesticviolence like attorneys that you
can get free of charge.
(27:08):
Be in a relationship that'sdangerous.
Give your domestic violencecenter a little bit of money or
a little bit of stuff to helpsurvivors get back on their feet
.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Mindy, you all do absolutely tremendous work.
I still recall the tour that youhad given me a few years back
and you know the school that youhad and the meals and the
places for people to stay.
It floors me what good thingsyou do and how much I appreciate
our opportunity forreemployability, to be a partner
(27:37):
with you, and you're taking afew minutes out of your day to
talk to us, and I hope we canbring some awareness to folks.
And I would just ask you knowit's great to wear a pin or you
know a color that represents theawareness month that it is, but
if you would actually make amove and do something to help
(27:57):
your local shelter in some way,I think that would be tremendous
.
So please take some action,folks, because this is this is
scary stuff and you can reallymake a difference.
So thank you.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Thank you, Todd.
Really appreciatereemployability and all you do
to help survivors of domesticviolence.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
As workers comp professionals, we have unique
opportunities and windows intothe lives of many people.
Please, if you suspect theremay be domestic violence
happening with someone you knowor work with, consider the steps
that Mindy talked about.
Know how to contact your localdomestic violence resource and
don't be afraid to take action.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
If you're looking for support.
There are 29 abuse and domesticviolence hotlines in United
States.
Call a domestic violencehotline, seek out shelters or
see a health care provider foradditional resources and support
.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Thanks for listening to REA Audio.
Please make sure to follow uson Spotify or Apple Podcasts or
Stitcher or wherever you getyour podcasts.
We appreciate you.
Have a great rest of your week.
perspective.
Perspective is spelled p e r s,p e c t, I, v e perspective,
the 30 000 foot view perspectiveput on someone else's shoes.
Perspective can also refer tothe state of existing in space
(00:20):
or one's view of the world.
Perspective rea audio space, orone's view of the world
Perspective.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
REA Audio Reemployability.
October is Domestic ViolenceAwareness Month.
Its intent is to bring to theforefront the needs, experiences
and voices of survivors.
According to the NationalDomestic Violence Hotline
website, over one in three womenit's over 35% and one in four
(00:48):
men over 28% in the US haveexperienced rape, physical
violence and or stalking by anintimate partner in their
lifetime.
So we'd like to spend some timeto bring this issue to the
forefront and help youunderstand the truly devastating
impact domestic violence has,not only on those directly
affected, but the people intheir lives as well.
Mindy Murphy is the presidentand CEO of the Spring of Tampa
Bay, a local organization thatprovides safe spaces and
(01:11):
empowering services to survivorsof domestic violence and their
children.
Reemployability is proud to bea supporter of the Spring and to
call Mindy a friend.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
October was first declared as National Domestic
Violence Awareness Month in 1989.
Since then, October has been atime to acknowledge domestic
violence survivors and be avoice for its victims.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Mindy Murphy, thank you again for being with us on
REA Audio.
It is Domestic ViolenceAwareness Month, and I think
this is probably the third orfourth time that we've been
fortunate to have you on.
We've been fortunate to haveyou on, and I feel bad because
we should have you on more thanjust in October, because
domestic violence is an issuethat doesn't just happen in
October, and so I promise, ifyou're available, we would like
(01:54):
to have you on, you know, moretimes throughout the year so
that we can continue to bringsome attention to this, this
tragedy that's in our countryand across the world.
I'd like to start by just kindof if you could help us
understand what is thedefinition of domestic violence,
and has that changed over theyears?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Yeah, so there are two definitions of domestic
violence and one is the legaldefinition.
Each state will have a slightlydifferent legal definition of
domestic violence, as well asthe federal government, and the
legal definitions are tied tothe relationship between the
parties.
So you know, are you husbandand wife?
Or husband and husband?
You know wife and wife?
Did you live together as if afamily?
(02:34):
Do you have a child in commonRight?
And then they're also tied tovery specific acts of physical
or sexual violence for which youcan be arrested.
So that definition is, frankly,it's, very narrow and it's the
things that you can be heldaccountable by, you know, by law
enforcement and by the courts.
The working definition that allof us who actually provide
(02:58):
direct services to survivors ofdomestic violence use is a much
broader definition and it'sreally tied to one partner's use
of tactics of power and controlagainst the other partner, with
the express goal of gettingthat partner to do what they
want when they want, how theywant it.
So that broad definitionencompasses not only physical
(03:19):
and sexual violence, but alsoeconomic abuse, emotional abuse,
psychological abuse, all of theways in which one partner
inflicts harm on the otherpartner.
It's a much broader definitionand it helps explain to
survivors of domestic violence.
You know that they are in factvictims of domestic violence.
A lot of times they can't seeit If they haven't been
(03:40):
physically assaulted very manytimes or they haven't been, you
know, sexually assaulted manytimes.
They're asking am I even avictim?
And the answer is yes, andsometimes those tactics are even
worse, really, than thephysical violence.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
So you mentioned that part of your definition is to
where one person tries to makethe other person essentially do
what it is that they want themto do, make the other person
essentially do what it is thatthey want them to do.
So just you know, forclarification, it doesn't
necessarily mean that there'sphysical harm or that the person
(04:14):
that's perpetrating theviolence is is.
It's actually physical, right.
The mental violence cansometimes be be worse, as you
mentioned.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Is there a difference in how people may notice those
two different types of domesticviolence, if with a co-worker or
a family member or somethinglike that?
Because I was going to ask youabout that a little bit down the
line.
But I think it kind of makessense here for people to kind of
be aware of people that they'reinteracting with.
(04:42):
What are the signs and how canwe tell the difference?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Yeah.
So I mean, a lot of times youcan see, you know if you're with
.
Domestic violence happensbehind closed doors, right, and
the partner who is perpetrating,the abuser, right, the
perpetrator of domestic violenceis in control.
It's not a lack of control.
That's another important thing.
A lot of people want to equateit to anger management, like the
guy just kind of lost control,right?
(05:10):
Domestic violence is actuallythe exact opposite.
It is a very controlledbehavior and again, the abuser
has figured out the tactics thathe or she can use to get the
desired outcome, which isusually to get their partner to
cater to them, to take care oftheir needs first, to put them
above all others, to kind of,you know, attend to their every
(05:30):
whim.
So it's very controlled.
You know they choose whenthey're going to abuse, how
they're going to abuse, whatpart of the body they're going
to abuse.
Are they going to abuse overthe weekend, so that you know
the person doesn't have muchcontact with co-workers and
can't necessarily disclose so tothe coworker.
Sometimes you're not going tosee anything, but a lot of times
you're going to hear storieswhere you know, over time, you
(05:50):
know a lot of survivors startwith very good self-esteem, but
over time, you know, the personis, their self-esteem is
attacked every day, day in andday out.
And so you can begin to hear,you know, survivors telling
stories about the things thatthey have supposedly quote,
unquote done wrong, right,because the abuser is telling
them oh, you know, you're not agood cook, you're not a good
(06:13):
mother, you're not a good spouse, you're not good in bed, you're
ugly.
No one's going to want you, andthat stuff starts to spill out
of their mouth sometimes.
Or they're telling stories, oryou're at a work, you know,
event where the partners arethere, the spouses are there and
you see the partner, you know,making fun of their, of their
wife in front of others, right,telling demeaning stories.
(06:38):
You know minimizing thepartner's competence, those
things, you know.
You'll see those often infamilies.
You'll hear just this constantbelittling and that is a warning
sign, that's a huge warningsign that something isn't right
in that relationship and it'seasy to say to your friend or
your coworker you know, gosh, Iheard your, you know your
(06:59):
partner saying these thingsabout you the other day and I
just want you to know that's notat all how I see you.
I think you're strong andcompetent and beautiful and you
know it sure makes me sad when Ihear the person who says they
love you putting you down.
And then you stop, right,because you don't want to
belabor the point too much.
You want to just open that doorso that that coworker or friend
(07:21):
or family member knows thatyou've noticed the behavior and
that you might be a safe personif they bravely decide to
disclose that something'ssomething's amiss in the
relationship.
The other way you see it happenis you're really good friends
with this person, you've beenfriends for a long time and all
of a sudden you're never seeingthem anymore or they're never
available to do anything.
Because one of the big tacticsof abusers is isolation
(07:45):
available to do anything.
Because one of the big tacticsof abusers is isolation.
Right, if they isolate fromfriends and family.
If they, you know, force you tolose your job.
Right, they interrupt your job,they make you late for work,
they take away your car so youcan't get to work and all of a
sudden you're without a job.
Now you've got less supports,you've got less financial
support, but you also have lesspeople that you can talk to
about what's going on.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Yeah, I think when I think of the term domestic
violence, I don't think of itbeing that in depth or that
strategic, I think, by theabuser, you know, I.
So that wouldn't necessarilymean that a person that does fly
off the handle and use physicalviolence on a very on any
(08:27):
occasion, right, that that stillcounts as domestic violence,
though, right.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
One, one hundred percent Right.
If they're physicallyassaulting you, it's domestic,
it's definitionally, that's a,that's a legal definition of
domestic violence for which youcan be arrested.
But?
But when people have an angerand you can be a an abuser right
of your intimate partner andalso have an anger management
problem, but the people withanger management problems aren't
.
They're getting into fightswith their coworkers, they're
(08:52):
getting into fights with theirboss, they're getting into
fights in the bar.
They've got road rage right.
They are indiscriminate intheir explosive anger.
You know they can't necessarilycontrol who they're applying
the anger to.
Often people who abuse theirdating partners or their
intimate partners are verystrategic.
(09:13):
The only person they're abusingis their intimate partner right
, and they're, you know.
They're the beloved neighborwho helps, you know, change your
tire, you know, or helpvolunteers to mow your lawn
right.
They are concerned about theirstatus and what people think of
them in public, and so they arechoosing to terrorize only their
partner, and often theirpartner and their kids, because
(09:35):
having being living in ahousehold where domestic
violence is being perpetrated byone partner against another
also creates a 40 to 60 percentstatistical likelihood increased
likelihood that the childrenare also being abused in that
relationship.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
When it's that intentional, it's just a whole
different level of sickness inmy mind.
You know it almost it almost isagain in my mind, similar to
someone who's a murderer orsomething like that that is
specifically intent on doing.
Similar to someone who's amurderer or something like that
that is, you know, specificallyintent on doing harm to someone
else.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Well, and I use the term.
You know, I always say it'slike the con men of love,
because when you think about youknow con men or con women,
right, they are manipulative,they are very calculating,
they're very strategic.
Everything is chosen, behaviorand timing is everything in that
.
And abusers are the same way,right, this is absolutely
strategic and tactical on theirpart.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
So in the intro I read some statistics around
domestic violence.
I believe we had said that onein three women one in.
Four men have had it at somepoint.
Maybe it's a little bit notquite that, right?
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Yeah, that statistic it gets used by some, but if you
look at the research it'sreally more like one in seven to
one in nine men.
So when you tease out the, whenyou're looking for the actual
power and control behind a useof violence, right?
So, because when you ask people, has your partner ever hit you?
(11:09):
You might get the.
Well, yeah, you know she didthis to me because she was mad
at me.
But then if you were to askthem, are you ever in fear of
your partner?
Does your partner use any ofthese other tactics to control
you?
The answer is no.
So we see a significantlydisproportionate use of power
(11:31):
and control tactics when it'sdirected at women.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Right, of course, and I guess my question with those
statistics are those arereported instances, right?
Do you have any sense of whatthe real numbers are reported
instances right?
Speaker 3 (11:46):
do you have any sense of what the real numbers are?
I mean, I've seen you know, I'mnot a researcher by by by
training at all, but I've seensome, you know, some, uh,
researchers say if you take thereports and then you multiply
them by three, uh, you know, uh,you might get, you know, so, uh
, you might get a more accuratepicture of the amount of
violence that's occurring in acommunity or in a nation or in a
you know, or in the world.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
So that's disturbing.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Yeah, really, I mean at that level.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Yeah, is domestic violence something that is
generational?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Certainly it is statistically significantly more
likely if you grew up in a homewhere where one partner abused
the other partner.
That if you're, you know.
Generally speaking, if you're alittle girl growing up in that
home, you become much morelikely to become a victim, and
when you grow up, if you're alittle boy growing up in that
(12:35):
home, you become much morelikely to become a perpetrator.
It doesn't mean that it's goingto happen.
There are plenty of people whogrew up, you know there are
plenty of little kids who grewup in abusive households where
either the abuse was directlyperpetrated against them or they
were witnessing domesticviolence, where they're able to
connect the dots and say withthat what's going on there, Like
my dad or my mom doing that,that's not good, that's not what
(13:00):
adults should do and I'm notgoing to do that.
So you have kids who grow up inthese households and and and
actively choose, like I'm goingto go down a different path.
But far too many kids don'thave the opportunity to do that
either because you know, theyweren't wired as innately to be
as resilient, maybe, as anotherkiddo.
(13:22):
But often there's some researchthat says a kid, by the time
they're seven or eight ifthey're growing up and being
abused or witnessing abuse, ifthey can form a connection to
another adult and it doesn'thave to be like you know, I see
this adult every day.
It could be the next doorneighbor, like your friend
Johnny's you know mom and dad,or your next door neighbor or
your coach or or your teacher atschool or somebody in your
(13:44):
church, but there's some adultthat is loving and caring and
demonstrates what good adultslike, a good, healthy
relationship between adultslooks like and a good, healthy
relationship between adults andchildren looks like.
There is a segment of kids whothat they can hold on to that
and say my parent is not a goodadult, but Johnny's mom is right
(14:05):
, and somehow that can be thespark that helps them not
perpetrate in that nextgeneration.
But far too many kids repeatthe cycle.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
It's amazing how that is kind of ingrained in us as
human beings to understand whatright and wrong is even when
you're not being necessarilytaught what right is through the
example of your parents?
Are you aware of any programsthat kind of intervene with
children to try to pull them outof that cycle?
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Yeah, I mean I think you know we the spring has
programs.
So we have Camp Hope America,which is an evidence based
camping and mentoring programspecifically for kids who
witness domestic violence orexperience it in their homes or
experience child abuse directly,and it's a one-week sleepaway
camp and then it's paired withonce a month.
(14:53):
We have pathways programs sothose same kids get to do
something together once a monthto kind of keep that bond in
between.
You know, each summer when theyget to go to the camp that we
run for a week.
So that's one program.
We also have some youthadvocate work that we do
one-on-one with kids.
But also we have anintervention program for kids
who have started to use violenceto solve their problems as
(15:16):
they're moving into their teens,and so that's a six-week
program that interrupts theirthinking and teaches them
healthy alternative conflictresolution that doesn't involve
violence and overwhelmingsomebody with your power really
has done a lot of work inpreventing child abuse by
intervening in at-risk families'lives early to help them.
(15:37):
You know, see a different path.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
So and there's a lot of just general programs that
work with kids, where there's acomponent of really trying to
remind them that healthyrelationships don't use violence
to solve problems.
Right Now, Mindy, when we firsttalked, it was we were just
coming out of covid.
In fact, in some places aroundthe country they were probably
still pretty immersed in it andand you had mentioned that the
lockdowns really did you saw aspike in domestic violence
because of that.
Yeah, has there been anyimprovement that you've seen.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
It was interesting because even you know, several
years out of the pandemic, theuse of the intensity of the
violence, that escalation didn'treally dial back and we were
still seeing, for several yearsout of the pandemic, we've still
been seeing a lot of what wewould term high-risk cases.
(16:45):
So we have two advocates ourINVEST team it's Intimate
Partner Enhanced ViolencePrevention, where we're embedded
with the sheriff's office inour community and with the
police departments in ourcommunity to review all the
calls for law enforcementassistance regarding domestic
violence and we read thenarrative statement that the
(17:08):
victim makes.
We also read the statement thatthe law enforcement officer on
scene makes and we flag certainthings that we see that are
criteria for heightened riskthat the next time you know
they're called out it might be ahomicide, and so those are
things like strangulation.
Still, the single greatestpredictor of his capacity or her
(17:28):
capacity to kill you is if theyhave ever strangled you.
You know.
More commonly people say choked, you know, but attempted to
strangle you, restrict yourairflow, you know, smother you
with a pillow, push you upagainst the wall so you can't
breathe, restricting yourairflow, you know, during sex,
those things against your will,those things are the greatest,
single greatest indicator thathe has the capacity to kill you,
(17:52):
and you should pay attention tothat if that's happened in a
relationship that you're in.
Other things are use of violence, increased use of violence
during pregnancy Right, oftendirected at the pregnant belly.
You know if your partner, yourrecent partner, has lost his or
her job again.
You know if your partner, yourabusive partner, has lost his or
(18:12):
her job again.
You know increased use ofalcohol and drugs doesn't cause
domestic violence.
It just gives the abuserpermission to perform at a
higher, heightened level ofviolence.
So all of those things arewarning flags If you're getting
more isolated, if your partneris getting more jealous, if your
partner is tracking you, ifyour partner is stalking you.
(18:34):
And the most dangerous, singlegreatest predictor of heightened
danger is when you're leavingthe relationship or you've just
left the relationship, becauseif the partner feels like they
don't have anything to lose, youknow that's the time when they
might say I don't have anythingto lose, I'm going to kill you
and I'm going to kill myself.
So if they make threats ofkilling you, right, I'm going to
(18:57):
kill you if you leave me.
If they threaten to killthemselves in response to your
you know your demands for a moreequitable and safer
relationship.
Those are all things thatshould have you making plans for
your own safety.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
So tell us about those plans.
How do people safely exit arelationship that's like that?
Speaker 3 (19:17):
The single greatest thing that you can do is to work
with the domestic violencecenter in your area.
In the state of Florida thereare 41 certified domestic
violence centers.
We cover all 67 counties in ourstate and most states have a
statewide coalition and thenhave a series of direct service
providers, like the Spring ofTampa Bay here in here in Tampa.
So reaching out, calling thehotline to safety plan, we are,
(19:41):
you know we are not the expertsin your story.
You know best what's happenedto you and what your abuser's
propensity for escalatingviolence is, but we are experts
in asking questions to help youformulate the best plan for
yourself.
And that plan changes over time.
A safety plan is not, you know,like one and done.
You just create it and then youjust follow it for the next,
(20:03):
you know, 12 months.
Safety changes as circumstanceschange.
So reaching out to a certifieddomestic violence center, if
it's, even if it's only over thephone or text, we can help you
plan.
And then other things you knowfiguring out who are some
trusted individuals.
You know that you can tellwhat's going on and maybe have a
safe word that you create where, if you call right, I call my
(20:26):
friend Susie and I say, you know, popcorn like heightens and
knows something's not right.
And she, you know, and thatmeans get you know, call 911,
get services out, get someoneout to help me.
So packing a go bag down hereit's easy because unfortunately
we have hurricanes like we'vejust experienced.
(20:46):
But you can, you know, say I'mjust what's that bag you've got
there.
You know, girlfriend, that'sjust my safety, my hurricane
safety kit here I made one foryou too.
But in your hurricane kit youmake sure you have your
important papers right Copies ofif you've got kids, copies of
their birth certificates, allthe stuff you need if you flee
in the middle of the night, oryou flee in the middle of the
(21:07):
day because your partner's notthere and you need to enroll
your kids in school, you need toget them vaccinated, everything
that you need to restart yourlife.
You should have a copy and a gobag.
If you live in the Midwest, youknow, and there's, you're prone
to tornadoes.
It's your tornado go bag, right, you, if it's not safe to keep
it at home, keep it at afriend's house, because that's
(21:29):
one of the hardest things.
When survivors leave, theyoften flee with very little and
it can be very painful to tryand get tracked down.
You know the records you needto to rent an apartment, to
enroll your kids in school, etcetera.
So having that ready is areally huge step.
But really just thinking aboutyou know, if I do this what will
(21:52):
his response be?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
And anticipating those responses and taking kind
of evasive protective actions,so, mindy, we'll provide the
link to the Springs website iffolks are listening here in
Tampa Bay.
We have folks that listenacross the country.
So, as you mentioned, there areresources everywhere.
What's a good way for someoneto look up what their local
resource is?
Speaker 3 (22:14):
So often.
The easiest thing is to Googleyour state coalition.
So you type in Missouri, rightDomestic Violence Coalition, and
the coalition will pop upMichigan Domestic Violence
Coalition.
California, right, oregon,california, oregon.
Wherever you are, there is acoalition, a state domestic
violence coalition.
Sometimes it's a dual coalition, it's both the Domestic
(22:35):
Violence and Sexual AssaultCoalition.
But if you type in your state'sname and the words Domestic
Violence Coalition, that willpop up and the coalition one of
the things.
All coalitions provide trainingand technical assistance in the
state that they reside in to thedirect service providers.
But almost all of them alsogive a listing by zip code of
(22:57):
the direct service providers.
So then you can say you know,I've typed Illinois State
Coalition, I put in my you knowmy zip code in in Chicagoland
and up pops the direct serviceproviders for my area and all of
us have.
We all run hotlines right thatare 24-7.
State coalitions also all have24-7 hotlines, most of them.
(23:18):
So you can call, you can alsoget connected that way.
A lot of us have text to chat.
So if you don't want to talk onthe phone, you can text and
resources can be texted back toyou if it's safe.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
I would imagine you would ask people who may be
experiencing domestic violenceto err on the side of caution.
I can envision someone whomight hear this and be like well
, I don't know if it's reallyaffecting me or not.
Should I call?
You probably want them to call,right.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Yeah, always call Right no-transcript that you
(24:19):
stay with them and you attend totheir needs.
And so sometimes, by the timeyou realize something's wrong,
you're questioning yourself,because emotional abuse and
psychological abuse that's thewhole goal is to get you to
think that you're the one makingthis up and it's all in your
mind.
So just having a conversationwith somebody, even if you're
not ready to make a change,those questions that they ask
(24:42):
might get you to reallyunderstand.
Yeah, I'm not imagining this.
This isn't healthy.
And now I know that there's aresource in my community when
I'm ready to make that difficultand dangerous step of leaving.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
What's the best way for people to help the spring
here, locally or nationally?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Yeah, I mean.
So obviously I'm never going to, you know, not say money, right
, money.
You know money equals mission,right?
You can't deliver missionwithout money because you need
money to keep the lights on.
You need money to serve.
We serve.
You know money equals mission,right?
You can't deliver missionwithout money because you need
money to keep the lights on.
You need money to serve, weserve.
You know, like 46,000, someinsane number of meals a year in
our emergency shelter.
Right, we provide afull-service kitchen.
(25:20):
So you've got to put food onthe table for 128 people living
in our shelter, half of whom arekids.
We have a scattered sitehousing program, so 12
apartments plus about another 40families that we serve outside
of those apartments.
So money fuels the directservice to the survivors.
It also enables well-qualified,professionally trained staff to
(25:41):
provide those services.
The other thing we always needis stuff right.
So we have a donation centerthat takes gently used clothing
and furniture, because when afamily does flee domestic
violence and we help get themset up in a new apartment, they
need beds and they need pots andpans to cook and they need, you
know, bags of rice and peanutbutter and, you know, cereal to
(26:03):
feed their families in a newplace.
So almost every domesticviolence well, every domestic
violence center is going to tellyou they need money and most
every domestic violence centeris going to tell you they also
need stuff to help thosefamilies get back on their feet.
The other way you can help isby being a resource right,
simply making sure that you knowthe domestic violence center in
(26:23):
your area so that if somebodydoes you know, have some warning
signs or they come to you, youdon't have to be the hero, you
can simply say, hey, I know aresource and it's free.
You know we in the state ofFlorida are really blessed
because 30 of the 41 domesticviolence centers also have
attorneys on staff that providefree legal representation.
We happen to have seven onstaff here in Tampa, we have one
(26:47):
on staff in Marion County, inOcala, and one in North Florida
to serve the counties in thePanhandle.
So you know there are domesticviolence like attorneys that you
can get free of charge.
(27:08):
Be in a relationship that'sdangerous.
Give your domestic violencecenter a little bit of money or
a little bit of stuff to helpsurvivors get back on their feet
.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Mindy, you all do absolutely tremendous work.
I still recall the tour that youhad given me a few years back
and you know the school that youhad and the meals and the
places for people to stay.
It floors me what good thingsyou do and how much I appreciate
our opportunity forreemployability, to be a partner
(27:37):
with you, and you're taking afew minutes out of your day to
talk to us, and I hope we canbring some awareness to folks.
And I would just ask you knowit's great to wear a pin or you
know a color that represents theawareness month that it is, but
if you would actually make amove and do something to help
(27:57):
your local shelter in some way,I think that would be tremendous
.
So please take some action,folks, because this is this is
scary stuff and you can reallymake a difference.
So thank you.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Thank you, Todd.
Really appreciatereemployability and all you do
to help survivors of domesticviolence.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
As workers comp professionals, we have unique
opportunities and windows intothe lives of many people.
Please, if you suspect theremay be domestic violence
happening with someone you knowor work with, consider the steps
that Mindy talked about.
Know how to contact your localdomestic violence resource and
don't be afraid to take action.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
If you're looking for support.
There are 29 abuse and domesticviolence hotlines in United
States.
Call a domestic violencehotline, seek out shelters or
see a health care provider foradditional resources and support
.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Thanks for listening to REA Audio.
Please make sure to follow uson Spotify or Apple Podcasts or
Stitcher or wherever you getyour podcasts.
We appreciate you.
Have a great rest of your week.
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