February 7, 2024 • 12 mins
An excellent model for personal growth has four things; Define your values. Discover your purpose. Determine your goals. Develop your skills. If you go through these four areas, you will determine what success looks like to you and live a life of purpose.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:08):
Welcome to the Recapture YourLife podcast with Steve Crenshaw.
Welcome back.
This week I want to talk about a modelfor personal growth that I believe works
well for everyone who's used it.
The four pillars we built this modelfor growth around are values, purpose,
(00:33):
goals, and skills.
Each one builds on the one before ithelping to establish a firm foundation on
which to build a meaningful life.
One of the people I've called a mentorover the years is Dr. John C. Maxwell,
and Dr. Maxwell tells a storyabout sitting with a man who asked him if he had a
plan for personalgrowth. Dr. Maxwell said,
(00:55):
I didn't know I was supposed to have one.
I didn't know I was supposed to have oneuntil someone put a cassette tape in my
hands in the late ninetiesand said, listen to this,
and I heard Dr. Maxwell tell that story.
So if you're looking for personal growthand you don't know where to start,
here are four ideas to helpyou get started. Number one,
(01:17):
define your values.
Where coaching and where this podcastcomes from is that everything starts from
our value system. If youdon't know what you value,
then how can you know what you reallywant? I think that deep down inside of us,
we all have a set of values. We live by.
Whether we know them is not important.
(01:38):
What is important is that we liveby them whether we know them or not.
When you wake up in the morning and youdecide to take a shower and go to work,
that decision is based on yourbelief that that job is important,
but why is that job important toyou? Most of us don't know why.
We just go through lifeone day at a time saying,
(02:01):
I'm just going to do the best I can, orI'm just going to get through with this,
and we don't know who we are. That's thefirst thing I want you to ask yourself,
who am I at my core? From that point,
you can develop yourpurpose, goals and skills.
Then like Simon Sinek says,
(02:21):
you can find your why becauseyou know who you are inside.
Where do you live from?
We don't know who we are because we'vebeen told from an early age that we need
to get a job. We need to go toschool. You need to find a trade.
Whatever it is you do, that's whereyou get your values from, school, job,
(02:42):
friends, religion,whatever else it is. Today,
I want you to take a step back,
look at who you are on the insideand then work out from there.
There's a longer version of how to findyour values and a list of common values
on my website recapture your life,
but if you just sit down with a sheet ofpaper and start listing things that are
(03:04):
important to you,
you will start to see whatyou value from this big list.
Try to narrow it down to yourtop two and then your number one,
which will be your main value orwhat you really value in life.
Then let this set for a couple of daysand come back to it and ask yourself,
is this what I really value? If it is,
then do it again in a month and seeif it's still what you really value.
(03:29):
This is the beginning ofmaking a meaningful life,
knowing what is important to you,
who you are and why you do what you do.
Number two is discover your purpose.
I believe we all have a supreme purpose.
I just want to say that thatpurpose is to find our truth.
(03:51):
Whether that is in a world religion,
a cosmological argument or pure reason,
I believe we all have a centerthat is called to seek a truth,
and that is our first purpose,
and this truth may be whatyour number one value is.
I don't know that onlyyou can decide that.
(04:12):
As far as the personal growth processgoes, we try to follow a pattern,
values, purpose, goals, and skills.
Once you know your values, youcan begin to define your purpose.
Once you find your purpose,you can develop goals,
and once you develop your goals,
you can decide on what skillsyou need to reach your goals.
(04:33):
Oliver Wendell Holmes said, many peopledie with their music still in them.
Too often it's because they're alwaysgetting ready to live before they know it.
Time runs out. That'swhat I want us to avoid.
I don't want people to diewith their song still in them.
What I want is for us all to reach theend of our lives and look back and say,
(04:56):
I did that and I did it theway I decided to or the way I
was called to otherthan seeking our truth.
I don't know that each of us has someoverarching purpose that the hand of God
has just reached down and touchedyou, that kind of purpose,
but I know right now looking forward,
we have a purpose for living and thatpurpose could be anything from raising a
(05:20):
family to providing for a familyor raising money for a good cause,
and in a year or twothat purpose can change.
What I want you to ask is rightnow, where am I being drawn?
What do I feel like I'm supposedto be doing right now with my life?
For many years I tried to figureout what I was supposed to be or do.
(05:44):
I want you to understandthat it's okay to fail.
It's okay to miss this purposepart. Just keep trying.
Just because one job is not right foryou doesn't mean another one isn't,
and just because one company with apoor leader wasn't right for you doesn't
mean there's not a betterfit for you somewhere else.
(06:08):
Life coaching has changed my life.
I kept trying to find where I fit thebest and until I got a coach who helped me
walk through the process,
I felt lost and my other obstaclewas that I had to recover from an
addiction and a lot of ushave addiction in our stories,
but we don't want to talk about it. Youknow what you're going through today,
(06:29):
maybe to help somebody else down the road.
Maybe your purpose is to go throughthis so you can help someone else,
and I know a lot of us don't wantto think about that, but it's true.
Sometimes our purposegets revealed over time.
Sometimes that means trying a lot ofdifferent things until we get to the point
(06:50):
of being comfortable with ourselvesand really living who we are.
Number three, determineyour goals. For some of us,
goals are just something wedo and then forget about 'em.
That's what it was for me for a longtime, so I just stopped setting goals.
Often, we don't want to set goalsbecause we're afraid to fail. Remember,
(07:11):
it's okay to fail. That's a mantrathat I have. It's okay to fail.
It's okay to change your goals.
I'm giving you permission to set goalsto fail at them and then set new ones.
How about that? If you know your purpose,
and that's what you really want to do,
there have to be some steps and underlyingthings that help you get to that
(07:32):
purpose. That's what goals are.
Let's say your goal is that you want tospend more time with your significant
other,
so then we figure out what theunderlying thing is going to be to help
you spend that time and then youdo that. Goals don't have to be,
I want to make a million dollars,
which is what one of the most commonthings that people tell us today,
(07:55):
and it's not.
Most of the people I work with arepeople who are downsizing their jobs and
their homes in order to live a moresimple lifestyle. Don't get me wrong,
it's okay to have financialgoals, but remember,
every goal has a price and youhave to decide what that price
is and you have to decide ifyou're willing to pay that price.
(08:18):
Like my coach asked me, what are youwilling to say yes to? Or better yet,
what are you willing to sayno to? Without setting goals,
we're not going to know what thetarget is. Goals are just roadmaps,
and sometimes we get off the roadmap.
Sometimes when you take along trip like my family does,
you decide to change the roadmap,
(08:40):
but you have to have a starting pointand you need to have an ending point that
you think is the endingpoint, at least for right now.
Number four, develop your skills.
Developing the skills you need takeseffort. Everything takes effort.
It takes effort because we've donethings our whole life that may need to be
(09:01):
undone. We may need tounlearn some things.
It's like learning to eat with youropposite hand. If you're right-handed,
trying to eat with your left hand,it feels weird. It feels different,
and sometimes you can't even do it.Developing a skill is like that,
and we need someone to guide us alongthe path as we develop the necessary
(09:23):
skills we need to accomplish thegoals we set. Robert Kiyosaki said,
professionals havecoaches, amateurs do not.
If we want to develop our skills,
most of us are going to need aprofessional to guide us along the road.
Whether that means a professionalby reading a book and following
(09:43):
that book or getting a lesson planand following that lesson plan,
a guide of any kind helps us to grow.
So what about natural talent? Mostpeople have some kind of natural talent.
I don't want to downplay natural talent,
but natural talent canonly take you so far.
(10:05):
Standing up in front of a group ofpeople and singing the national anthem or
giving a talk requires training.
I know this because I come from a familyof people who could stand up and sing
the national anthem in front of people.
It requires training to do it well,
and you've heard terrible singerswho think they're talented singers.
(10:28):
They believe they're good because theyrefuse to be around people who could tell
them they're not talented in that area.
Sometimes as we're learning the skillwe need to develop to fulfill our
goals, we need to hear hard things.That's where coaching comes in.
A coach of any kind, a mentor,
someone who can come alongside you andgive you the information that you don't
(10:52):
want to hear so you can get better.
If you want to be excellent,
whether it's being a sportscoach or being a singer
or playing an instrument, you needto get training to be skilled.
Whatever it is, you need a coachto help you develop that skill.
Most of the things we do inlife don't come naturally to us.
(11:18):
Alright, that's all for this week.
Those are four things that I believe youcan work on as a personal growth model.
Define your values, discover yourpurpose, determine your goals,
and develop your skills.
I honestly believe that if yougo through these four areas,
you will determine what success lookslike to you and live a life of purpose,
(11:41):
and I want to thank you forlistening. If you like what you hear,
please remember to subscribe andshare this with your friends.
If you want to stay up to date with allthe happenings that recapture your life,
you can sign up on thewebsite recapture your Life.
We also offer complimentary coachingsessions so you can sign up through the
website also. Thanks for listening.
(12:02):
I'll talk to you in a couple of weeks.
Welcome to the Recapture YourLife podcast with Steve Crenshaw.
Welcome back.
This week I want to talk about a modelfor personal growth that I believe works
well for everyone who's used it.
The four pillars we built this modelfor growth around are values, purpose,
(00:33):
goals, and skills.
Each one builds on the one before ithelping to establish a firm foundation on
which to build a meaningful life.
One of the people I've called a mentorover the years is Dr. John C. Maxwell,
and Dr. Maxwell tells a storyabout sitting with a man who asked him if he had a
plan for personalgrowth. Dr. Maxwell said,
(00:55):
I didn't know I was supposed to have one.
I didn't know I was supposed to have oneuntil someone put a cassette tape in my
hands in the late ninetiesand said, listen to this,
and I heard Dr. Maxwell tell that story.
So if you're looking for personal growthand you don't know where to start,
here are four ideas to helpyou get started. Number one,
(01:17):
define your values.
Where coaching and where this podcastcomes from is that everything starts from
our value system. If youdon't know what you value,
then how can you know what you reallywant? I think that deep down inside of us,
we all have a set of values. We live by.
Whether we know them is not important.
(01:38):
What is important is that we liveby them whether we know them or not.
When you wake up in the morning and youdecide to take a shower and go to work,
that decision is based on yourbelief that that job is important,
but why is that job important toyou? Most of us don't know why.
We just go through lifeone day at a time saying,
(02:01):
I'm just going to do the best I can, orI'm just going to get through with this,
and we don't know who we are. That's thefirst thing I want you to ask yourself,
who am I at my core? From that point,
you can develop yourpurpose, goals and skills.
Then like Simon Sinek says,
(02:21):
you can find your why becauseyou know who you are inside.
Where do you live from?
We don't know who we are because we'vebeen told from an early age that we need
to get a job. We need to go toschool. You need to find a trade.
Whatever it is you do, that's whereyou get your values from, school, job,
(02:42):
friends, religion,whatever else it is. Today,
I want you to take a step back,
look at who you are on the insideand then work out from there.
There's a longer version of how to findyour values and a list of common values
on my website recapture your life,
but if you just sit down with a sheet ofpaper and start listing things that are
(03:04):
important to you,
you will start to see whatyou value from this big list.
Try to narrow it down to yourtop two and then your number one,
which will be your main value orwhat you really value in life.
Then let this set for a couple of daysand come back to it and ask yourself,
is this what I really value? If it is,
then do it again in a month and seeif it's still what you really value.
(03:29):
This is the beginning ofmaking a meaningful life,
knowing what is important to you,
who you are and why you do what you do.
Number two is discover your purpose.
I believe we all have a supreme purpose.
I just want to say that thatpurpose is to find our truth.
(03:51):
Whether that is in a world religion,
a cosmological argument or pure reason,
I believe we all have a centerthat is called to seek a truth,
and that is our first purpose,
and this truth may be whatyour number one value is.
I don't know that onlyyou can decide that.
(04:12):
As far as the personal growth processgoes, we try to follow a pattern,
values, purpose, goals, and skills.
Once you know your values, youcan begin to define your purpose.
Once you find your purpose,you can develop goals,
and once you develop your goals,
you can decide on what skillsyou need to reach your goals.
(04:33):
Oliver Wendell Holmes said, many peopledie with their music still in them.
Too often it's because they're alwaysgetting ready to live before they know it.
Time runs out. That'swhat I want us to avoid.
I don't want people to diewith their song still in them.
What I want is for us all to reach theend of our lives and look back and say,
(04:56):
I did that and I did it theway I decided to or the way I
was called to otherthan seeking our truth.
I don't know that each of us has someoverarching purpose that the hand of God
has just reached down and touchedyou, that kind of purpose,
but I know right now looking forward,
we have a purpose for living and thatpurpose could be anything from raising a
(05:20):
family to providing for a familyor raising money for a good cause,
and in a year or twothat purpose can change.
What I want you to ask is rightnow, where am I being drawn?
What do I feel like I'm supposedto be doing right now with my life?
For many years I tried to figureout what I was supposed to be or do.
(05:44):
I want you to understandthat it's okay to fail.
It's okay to miss this purposepart. Just keep trying.
Just because one job is not right foryou doesn't mean another one isn't,
and just because one company with apoor leader wasn't right for you doesn't
mean there's not a betterfit for you somewhere else.
(06:08):
Life coaching has changed my life.
I kept trying to find where I fit thebest and until I got a coach who helped me
walk through the process,
I felt lost and my other obstaclewas that I had to recover from an
addiction and a lot of ushave addiction in our stories,
but we don't want to talk about it. Youknow what you're going through today,
(06:29):
maybe to help somebody else down the road.
Maybe your purpose is to go throughthis so you can help someone else,
and I know a lot of us don't wantto think about that, but it's true.
Sometimes our purposegets revealed over time.
Sometimes that means trying a lot ofdifferent things until we get to the point
(06:50):
of being comfortable with ourselvesand really living who we are.
Number three, determineyour goals. For some of us,
goals are just something wedo and then forget about 'em.
That's what it was for me for a longtime, so I just stopped setting goals.
Often, we don't want to set goalsbecause we're afraid to fail. Remember,
(07:11):
it's okay to fail. That's a mantrathat I have. It's okay to fail.
It's okay to change your goals.
I'm giving you permission to set goalsto fail at them and then set new ones.
How about that? If you know your purpose,
and that's what you really want to do,
there have to be some steps and underlyingthings that help you get to that
(07:32):
purpose. That's what goals are.
Let's say your goal is that you want tospend more time with your significant
other,
so then we figure out what theunderlying thing is going to be to help
you spend that time and then youdo that. Goals don't have to be,
I want to make a million dollars,
which is what one of the most commonthings that people tell us today,
(07:55):
and it's not.
Most of the people I work with arepeople who are downsizing their jobs and
their homes in order to live a moresimple lifestyle. Don't get me wrong,
it's okay to have financialgoals, but remember,
every goal has a price and youhave to decide what that price
is and you have to decide ifyou're willing to pay that price.
(08:18):
Like my coach asked me, what are youwilling to say yes to? Or better yet,
what are you willing to sayno to? Without setting goals,
we're not going to know what thetarget is. Goals are just roadmaps,
and sometimes we get off the roadmap.
Sometimes when you take along trip like my family does,
you decide to change the roadmap,
(08:40):
but you have to have a starting pointand you need to have an ending point that
you think is the endingpoint, at least for right now.
Number four, develop your skills.
Developing the skills you need takeseffort. Everything takes effort.
It takes effort because we've donethings our whole life that may need to be
(09:01):
undone. We may need tounlearn some things.
It's like learning to eat with youropposite hand. If you're right-handed,
trying to eat with your left hand,it feels weird. It feels different,
and sometimes you can't even do it.Developing a skill is like that,
and we need someone to guide us alongthe path as we develop the necessary
(09:23):
skills we need to accomplish thegoals we set. Robert Kiyosaki said,
professionals havecoaches, amateurs do not.
If we want to develop our skills,
most of us are going to need aprofessional to guide us along the road.
Whether that means a professionalby reading a book and following
(09:43):
that book or getting a lesson planand following that lesson plan,
a guide of any kind helps us to grow.
So what about natural talent? Mostpeople have some kind of natural talent.
I don't want to downplay natural talent,
but natural talent canonly take you so far.
(10:05):
Standing up in front of a group ofpeople and singing the national anthem or
giving a talk requires training.
I know this because I come from a familyof people who could stand up and sing
the national anthem in front of people.
It requires training to do it well,
and you've heard terrible singerswho think they're talented singers.
(10:28):
They believe they're good because theyrefuse to be around people who could tell
them they're not talented in that area.
Sometimes as we're learning the skillwe need to develop to fulfill our
goals, we need to hear hard things.That's where coaching comes in.
A coach of any kind, a mentor,
someone who can come alongside you andgive you the information that you don't
(10:52):
want to hear so you can get better.
If you want to be excellent,
whether it's being a sportscoach or being a singer
or playing an instrument, you needto get training to be skilled.
Whatever it is, you need a coachto help you develop that skill.
Most of the things we do inlife don't come naturally to us.
(11:18):
Alright, that's all for this week.
Those are four things that I believe youcan work on as a personal growth model.
Define your values, discover yourpurpose, determine your goals,
and develop your skills.
I honestly believe that if yougo through these four areas,
you will determine what success lookslike to you and live a life of purpose,
(11:41):
and I want to thank you forlistening. If you like what you hear,
please remember to subscribe andshare this with your friends.
If you want to stay up to date with allthe happenings that recapture your life,
you can sign up on thewebsite recapture your Life.
We also offer complimentary coachingsessions so you can sign up through the
website also. Thanks for listening.
(12:02):
I'll talk to you in a couple of weeks.
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