Ep. 52 with Angie Weber | The Parent Toolbox - Reclaiming Your Hue

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Good morning Angie, Good morning Kelly, how are you?

Speaker 2 (00:04):
I'm good.
How are you?

Speaker 1 (00:05):
I'm good, I'm so excited to be here with you.
I'm excited for you to be heretoo.
It's so nice to be in personand be able to, like meet you
officially in person, becausehow we originally met was via
zoom, even though we're both inthe Twin Cities.
But I think that this is a nicelittle segue into.
I would love for you toactually share how it is that we

(00:27):
got connected.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah, absolutely.
I was so excited to come inperson because I've been on
other podcasts I do my ownpodcast but, yes, everything is
virtual.
So when you were like come downand we'll do it in person, I
was like, absolutely.
So I feel so different and justso amazing to be in person with
you doing this.
We got connected through amutual connection which
throughout just kind of my wholecareer.
I will say when I first startednetworking, I was terrified of

(00:53):
it, I didn't like it, it wasawful, I didn't ever want to do
it after my first one, and thenI grew to love it, which is how
we got connected through amutual connection.
Erica, who I haven't actuallyseen for years, so the last time
I saw her I was still inmarketing and then our paths
crossed again and she's like youneed to meet Kelly.
And here we are.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
It was so nice of her too, and I actually had Erica
on to share her story.
I don't know how much of herstory you actually know, but
stay tuned.
Her episode will be dropping umvery, very soon, but it's.
It was really fun to sit downand chat with her and have some
um eyeopening experiences ofindividuals who are striving for

(01:39):
motherhood.
However, have not been able todo that, but in having that
meeting you can tell that shejust has a passion and a love
for not only what she does, butthen doing this connection and
going oh, this is who you'reserving through the podcast.
This is the niche.
I have many individuals that Iwould love to connect to with

(02:02):
you.
Just let me know.
But here are a few that I'mthinking of and I was like yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes, of course,of course, absolutely.
And we have another mutualconnection to Rachel Loseley, I
think is how I, how youpronounce her last name?
But yeah, she was.
She actually did anintroduction via LinkedIn for us

(02:23):
too.
I'm like what?

Speaker 2 (02:29):
And then, when multiple people start connecting
, you're like, okay, there's asign here.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
There's a reason why people are doing this.
Yes, yep, absolutely.
So well, let's go ahead anddive in.
Could you share with thelisteners what came first for
you?
Was it motherhood or was itentrepreneurship?

Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yeah, it was definitely motherhood.
So I had always had thisthought in my mind that I wanted
to have my first child at 26.
Because that's when my mom hadme.
I don't know why that was in myhead, but it just I was very
set on it.
So my husband and I had beenmarried for about a year and a
half or so at that time and westarted trying.
Nothing was really happening,kind of went through about six

(03:04):
months of you know, oh, it'sjust not going.
Maybe we should just stoptrying.
You know summer's coming up,let's enjoy, you know, the first
couple of years of marriage,yada, yada.
Well, of course, life has itsown plan.
So four days after my 26thbirthday, I found out I was
pregnant, which was equallyexciting and terrifying.
And then, about a couple weekslater, then after that, I found

(03:26):
out I was not having one child,but I was having two.
So it was quite a journey and Iwas really excited to be a
mother.
But I also, at that time, I wasworking in marketing.
I was working for a reallysmall business and I was
ingrained in it.
I mean, people used to thinkthat I owned the business
because I had so much pride init.

(03:46):
So I will say, even though Iwas excited about motherhood in
the back of my head all of thetime, even as I was on maternity
leave, I was always thinkingabout work.
I was always consumed withwhat's going on.
I wonder what happened withthis client.
I wonder how that meeting went.
And so now that I look back atit, I feel like I kind of robbed
myself a little bit of some ofthose really special motherhood

(04:09):
moments, and it also, you know,propelled me into what I'm doing
now.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Mm.
Hmm, I don't think you're alonein that boat.
I literally am like shaking myhead, going yeah, I completely
empathize with that.
I've.
I found myself in circumstancesand felt like I caught it early
enough to go.
Okay, this is not how I want tocontinue to have momentum in

(04:35):
life, and am I actually aimingin the right direction If I'm,
if I'm more focused on what ishappening over here on the
business side of things, thenthen like care and nurture for
my child or, in yourcircumstance, to children,
because that that in itself iswe're going to dive into that.
Yeah, that's fun, um, but yeah,I think that having that

(04:59):
recognition moment so let'sactually talk through that that
moment in time where you, youcaught it and you were like
something's, it's gotta bebetter than this.
Let's talk through it.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
Yeah, uh, I wish that I could say it happened when
they were little babies, um, butit didn't.
It was when they were about, uh, two and a half, three years
old.
Uh, working from home was cool.
The office was all working fromhome between Christmas and New
Year's and I will say that thatis the week that completely
changed my life.
I will admit, I was terrified.

(05:34):
I was thinking, oh my gosh,what am I going to do with these
two toddlers at home all week?
They're not going to want tosit down and be quiet when I
have work to do.
How am I going to do this?
And I haven't spent this muchtime with them since maternity
leave.
And that week was so amazing.
We went and did so many things.
We went to the science museum,we hung out, we went to

(05:54):
different things in the citiesbecause it was around Christmas
time, so outdoor activities.
And it feels weird to say, butI fell in love with my kids on a
deeper level that week.
I was like, oh my gosh, they'relike really fun.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
And they're really cool.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
people Like I can't believe I helped create these
two.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
Well, and what a fun age too, because you can this is
what I'm talking about almoston a daily basis with people who
I'm catching up with is thestage of life that Maddie is in
right now.
Is that stage that you'respeaking to and you can see like
the synapses, just like?
I don't think I said that right, but you understand what I'm

(06:30):
talking about.
Her brain is just firing on allcylinders and it's like now
she's really starting to connectthe dots and stringing words
together and can count, like shecan count and she's rattling
off the abcs.
I'm like what the heck?
Like?
This is so cool and the like,the, the bond is just growing so

(06:53):
much more to like thataffection and the love you're
like.
Oh, my nurturing was reallypaying off now.
I love it.
This.
This is amazing.
How cool to have like be inthat moment.
I think it's worth mentioning,too, that you had a choice right
.
Like you had a choice and welike to say it's kind of a

(07:15):
common phrase in our householdlife's about choices, absolutely
and you had a choice, like Icould stay at home and dive in
and have somebody come hang outwith the kids, or I can take
this opportunity, understandthat there's still work at hand,
but I also think that so callit a God wink if you will or

(07:39):
something, but that choice wasobviously very instrumental for
you, so let's keep going downthis pathway.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Yeah, absolutely.
And so I mean at that momentduring that week, I just
realized and there's nothingwrong with someone who's
passionate about their careerand their profession, I totally
understand it on that level too.
But that was the wake up call,or that God wink that I needed
to realize like, wow, mypriorities have been really
messed up, like I am missing outon these really fun moments
with my kids because I'm worriedabout a sale over here for a

(08:11):
company that I work for.
And so it was a month laterthat I went in and I quit my job
after seven years.
Leading up to that, there weresome things happening behind the
scenes.
I always say that like I got tosee the good, the bad, the ugly
of entrepreneurship, and that'swhy I was hesitant to ever even
want to start anything.

(08:31):
But a month later my husbandfound me on our kitchen floor
having a breakdown.
I mean I was crying while theywere all eating dinner and he
came in.
He's like what are you doing?
I was like I just I can't takeit anymore, I don't know what to
do doing.
I was like I just I can't takeit anymore, I don't know what to
do.
And he said something has tochange.
You can't keep doing this.
Because it was taking such amental load on me as well, and
again it was taking away timefrom my kids and attention with

(08:51):
my family and my relationshipand all these other aspects.
And so I remember tossing andturning that night in bed and
finally, around 3am I was likeGod, you need to give me a sign,
like I don't know what to dohere.
And this just big warmth cameover my body.
I fell asleep, woke up threehours later, rolled over to my

(09:12):
husband and said I think I'mgoing to quit my job today and
he goes, if that's what you haveto do.
And I was like, but can wefinancially do this?
And he goes, we'll figure itout.
So I mean, it changed at thatone week I feel like changed
everything.
Otherwise I would have keptgoing, I would have kept being
in burnout, which I totally was,and I think my relationship

(09:33):
with my kids were would be a lotdifferent.
And that was kind of the firstcatalyst into starting something
on my own and then, years laterwhich I know we'll get into it
really they really were thedriving force behind what I do
now.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
Yes, yes, okay.
So in making that leap of faith, as we like to call it, what?
How did that propel you intowhat that next step into
entrepreneurship looked like?
Like what were some of thestepping stones that allowed you
to get to that place?

Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yeah.
So I actually have to back upin the story a little bit
because, as you're talking aboutGod winks, I am faithful, and
so I always say that God planteda seed for a plan B before I
even knew I wanted one.
He loves to do that.
He does things work in you knowmysterious ways to us, and then
finally stuff comes to light.
And so, about a year prior tothat of me quitting, I had

(10:27):
started getting more intoessential oils, holistic health,
being more proactive, becauseit was really important for me
to teach my kids that there'sother ways to approach things
versus trying to put a bandaidon it, versus just taking a
medication for things.
And so I started getting intojust holistic health, and I then

(10:47):
started teaching oil classes asa hobby.
I was like, huh, my husbandwill stay home with the kids on
Thursday night, I'll go teach aclass, hang out with some
awesome adults and have funtalking about this hobby that I
have and just educating otherpeople, and that had actually
grown into a business.
So when I did quit my job, Iwas able to quit the same day

(11:07):
pretty much because I had thisother opportunity behind me that
was able to replace my income,and so then I got to go more
fully into that and reallyreally continue with that
passion for a few years.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
I could go so many different directions, but I
would love to explore this areaof holistic health and how you
got to that point of making ashift.
It's a mindset shift, in myhumble opinion, too, is there is
something that kind of helps inthat pivotal like moment and

(11:45):
making a switch towardsalternative methods of
medication or how we easeailments in our body.
So was there a circumstancethat led you to that moment?

Speaker 2 (12:00):
My kids actually, so when I was pregnant, we didn't
plan this, people.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
We did not plan this.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
It's super fun to talk about, though, of knowing,
like, how much of an impact mykids have had on the decisions
that I've made for the life thatI want to help create for them,
and when I was pregnant, agirlfriend of mine had
recommended that we get a doula,and she also was teaching this
class called the Bradley method.
For those moms who know aboutthat, it's an all natural

(12:29):
birthing class, which some ofyour listeners might be like
you're absolutely nuts.
I have tattoos.
I have piercings.
However, I don't like needles,so I'm with you on that too.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
by the way, Needles terrify me.
So the pregnancy process for mewas enlightening, enriching.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
Well, the thought of an epidural, just I have it's a
weird thing.
I have things about like spinesand it's just I'm strange and
just the thought of getting anepidural was really freaking me
out.
And, of course, when you'repregnant with twins, that's what
doctors were pushing on me theentire time of okay, well, let's
just schedule your C-sectionright now.
I'm like, no, I want to try anatural birth.
Nope, we're just going toschedule it.

(13:10):
Okay, well, I don't want anepidural.
Well, we're still going to giveyou one, we'll give you a
walking epidural.
And I just I felt like theyweren't listening to me and I'm
not super.
I know things happen.
I know that we can all have theperfect birthing plan laid out
and it doesn't always go thatway right.
However, we did go through a lotof doctors.

(13:31):
We did find one.
It's a long story, but he endedup leaving the practice when I
was like 34 weeks pregnant andhe was the doctor that I was
like.
He's aligned, he understands,he's listening to me, we have a
plan in case this plan doesn'twork.
And he left and it was astressful time of my pregnancy,
because when you're pregnantwith twins, too, you can go at
any time.
Yeah, but when we were takingthe Bradley Method course, I had

(13:55):
said something about you know,really not wanting an epidural
and one of the girls in theresaid well, I heard essential
oils can help you, you know,relax during your birth and I
was like I will try everything,including standing on my head,
if I don't have to have a needlein my back.
So I started looking into it,ended up getting some oils from
someone and I did have themthroughout my pregnancy.

(14:18):
I mean, my husband was runningback and filling up the diffuser
.
I had nurses coming in beinglike we're not working with you,
but we heard your room smelledreally good and we had to come
check it out.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
And even my doula came in you know, I was in labor
for over 24 hours and she camein.
She goes Did you get the drugs?
And I said no, she's like you,are so calm right now.
So I knew that they worked.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
However, she's like you are so calm right now.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
So I knew that they worked.
However, when I went back home,I then was like oh my gosh, now
they let me leave with thesetwo kids.
Like who let me do this?

Speaker 1 (14:53):
I don't know what I'm doing.
Everybody has that very thoughtas they're walking out of the
hospital and they're like, oh myGod, All of like you've got
people in and out, in and out,in and out, in and out and
they're at your like constantcare, and then all of a sudden
you're like that's not gonna bethe reality anymore.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
And I have to learn how to take care of them and
still shower once in a while.
Like this is a lot, and thelast thing I'm going to do is
sit on Google and try look atall of the information about
essential oil.
So, even though I knew theyworked, I was too overwhelmed to
dig into it more, and so itwasn't until about a year after
that that someone approached meand said hey, you know, I'm

(15:38):
teaching this oil class.
Do you want to come?
Do you want to order some?
And I was like, again, I knowthat they, that they work.
And at that time the house thatwe lived in it was all hardwood
floors and I was looking into alittle bit more about all the
toxins we're bringing into ourhomes that we don't even realize
because we think, well, ifTarget sells it, it should be
fine for me.
Well, it's not.

(15:59):
Yeah.
And I remember watching my kidsum crawl across our hardwood
floor and I was thinking whatdid I use on that last time to
clean?
Because whatever I used onthere, they're absorbing that
through their skin, especiallytheir feet.
And so that's when we kind ofstarted getting into like all
right, we do want to swap somethings out.
I do want to look into theseoils more.

(16:20):
And then again I saw thisreally cool ripple effect happen
where we had like no sick days,which when you have toddlers, I
mean you, they're germ magnets,I mean they still are sometimes
, but um.
so that's kind of how it allhappened is because I wanted to
understand more about the thingsthat we're bringing into our
homes, and I wanted to give mykids new strategies and tools to

(16:43):
look at things proactivelyversus being reactive how a lot
of us are in society.

Speaker 1 (16:48):
So yeah, the reactiveness to.
I mean, if you, if you loopthat in with our Western
cultural approach to thehealthcare system and instant
gratification as well.
Like, you get sick, sick andyou want that instant relief.
Yeah, nowadays, if you try togo into the healthcare system,

(17:10):
that is not a reality.
No, instant gratification isnot.
You're going to be waiting,yeah, First and foremost, and
then also you, by the time youactually see a doctor, and then
they're prescribing something toyou.
It's days, your day's out.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, oh, absolutely, and I hope your listeners don't
mistake this.
I'm not saying that one drop oflavender is going to fix
everything.
I am very grateful for modernmedicine.
I think that there's definitelya place in it.
My mom had a heart attack a fewyears ago and she wouldn't be
here if it wasn't for modernmedicine.
Um, however, I think if we weretaking a more proactive

(17:52):
approach, we could reduce thosedoctor visits and we could
reduce those medication.
If we're looking holisticallyat everything kind of that we're
doing and essential oils andholistic health can be a piece
of that puzzle to help doing andessential oils and holistic
health can be a piece of thatpuzzle to help Totally.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
I think my eyes were open when I started working with
a health coach who you mightknow actually she's in the
Forest Lake area, cece Clark.
Yeah, I do know her.
So I was working with her forabout a year and a half, maybe
two years, prior to gettingpregnant and then during my
pregnancy too, and I just lovedher approach to like the

(18:32):
wellness wheel and that it's notalways just about like going to
the doctor, it's.
You can take these otherapproaches to your health.
And then I just want to give ashout out to Cece because she
was instrumental through mypregnancy.
Like instrumental, especially asit pertained to the ways that I

(18:55):
was thinking about my body butthen what I was putting into my
body, what I was putting on mybody, yes, and mindset as well,
because I think mindset can be areally big thing as you're
going through pregnancy.
But then, just in general, yes,proactiveness, yeah, in

(19:26):
maintaining some sickness,maintaining just more
preventative ways, I suppose.
And how you approach health,yeah, I feel like I'm kind of
all over the place right now,but hopefully you're following
my train of thought, no,absolutely Well, and even just,
you know, being more proactive.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
I mean, think about a doctor visit, especially like
if your child gets an earache inthe middle of the night.
You don't you're going to haveto get them up, get them dressed
, drive to the ER, wait forhours.
Potentially you're spending aton of money, most likely for
that bill, even if you haveinsurance, and then you're
getting prescribed a medication.
I mean, there's so much timeand energy and money that go

(20:06):
into it that what if we couldtake a different approach to
eliminate even one of thosevisits a year would be
instrumental for so manyfamilies on so many different
levels.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
So, in taking this approach, then how have you seen
that impact your let's startwith your family, but then in
obviously having this as the asa business, how it's impacted
other families too.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, so I mean, obviously I saw the effect on
our family, otherwise I wouldn'thave went out there and taught
classes about it.
You know I was.
I remember being like, oh mygosh, we haven't had a sick day
in a long time, and this feelsreally weird.
But I feel so much better, mymental clarity is better, my
focus is better, Our housesmells better and it's that
toxic load that we were liftingoff of ourselves that we didn't

(20:54):
realize.
And so, of course, it wasinstrumental for for our family,
I mean even my kids now they're10, and you know my daughter,
you know she's getting some,some acne now, and last night I
was like, okay, like let's putsome tea tree oil on that to
help dry it out.
I mean, so they know how tostart utilizing it too, and it's
not me doing it for them.

(21:15):
They just instinctively know,like during the summer, mom,
where's the lavender?
I got a mosquito bite.
I mean they just are alreadykind of ingrained in that
thinking, which is awesome forme to see.
And then, of course, in mybusiness, it's just so powerful
to be able to give people thesetools, especially if they do
have health issues or they feellike they've been really burned

(21:35):
down with their toxic load ortheir mental clarity, and you
can help them find simple,practical solutions.
I tell people this doesn't meanyou have to go take out every
single product in your house andget rid of it and replace it
Like do baby steps.
This is your journey.
You get to decide how fast orslow you want to go with it.

(21:55):
It's just that education ispower and it's all about
empowerment, not perfection.
And so how can we take littlesteps towards being the type of
mom, the type of person, thetype of fill in the blank that
you want to be, without thinkingthat you have to follow someone
else's path exactly?

Speaker 1 (22:15):
Pardon me.
So something that I'm thinkingabout is, in having the tenure
that you did in what you weredoing before in marketing and
then making this transition intothe entrepreneurial world, did
you feel like, in reflection andlooking back, did you feel like
you went through any sort ofstages of grief?

(22:37):
Does that make sense?
Because I think about theundoing that I needed to do the
unlearning and I literallyequate it to stages of grief.
When I do the unlearning, andlike I literally equate it to
like stages of grief when I leftthe mortgage industry, like I
knew without a shadow of a doubtthat that is what I needed to
do, but I also knew that it wasgonna.

(23:00):
What came with that is anidentity shift that meant kind
of peeling back the onion layers, so on, so forth.
So I I personally like toequate it to stage going through
the stages of grief and it justcame to me like hey, I want to
ask you if that was somethingthat you personally went through
as well yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
So I had worked at the marketing company for seven
years a little over seven andliterally anytime I went to an
event, anyone who knew about thebusiness, they knew I was the
right hand person, and so Idefinitely went through that
identity crisis where I was likenow I have to step out on my
own.
That feels scary, and now Ihave to reteach people who I am,

(23:45):
because I'm no longer thesidekick over there.
I'm on my own doing my ownthing, and you know it was.
It was interesting.
There are some people who Ireached out to you know, after I
left and they're, you know,very hesitant to talk to me or,
you know, would be like, well,I'm not sure if I can do that
type of thing, because I'mconnected to you know, the owner

(24:07):
, and it was it.
It I don't know if I want to sayit made me angry, but it
definitely like took me backbecause I was like wait a minute
, like you, you know what I wasgoing through, you knew what was
happening, and now I'm reachingout to you and you're kind of
acting like it just felt veryfake then in the moment, I

(24:28):
remember having such a weightlifted off of me, though I mean
I felt so much happier andamazing.
But there was that identitycrisis.
There was the oh my gosh, did Imake the wrong decision?
I talked to a friend.
I said maybe I'll just go backand she was like you don't need
to, why are you even thinkingabout that?
I'm so glad she put me in myplace Because now I mean where

(24:49):
my business is now and kind ofthe pivots that I've made over
the last couple of years isexactly where I'm supposed to be
, but it's really scary.
So I think yeah, I think I wentthrough a lot of the different
stages of grief, but thatidentity piece was definitely
the hardest to wrap my headaround.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
Yeah, yeah.
So how long have you been inthat entrepreneurial?

Speaker 2 (25:11):
space with the essential oils.
Yeah, so I still teach aboutoils.
I still include them in mycurrent business right now.
Um, so I'm always educatingabout um.
They're always in my backgroundwhen I'm I'm on my computer.
You know people will be likeare those essential oils back
there?
I'm like, yep, they are.
Um, I say you know, you can'tlook anywhere in our house
without seeing a product fromthe company because we just we
truly do use it all the time.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
It's a part of you.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
It's like it is.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
You have branded yourself as such, and so why
wouldn't it be in the background?
You're like it's, this is who Iam.
Yeah, I love it.
So you've been.
I'm sorry, catch me up again,it's since when?
So?

Speaker 2 (25:48):
full-time since 2018.
So started it about a yearprior to that.
As that hobby grew into, thebusiness went out on my own 2018
, and really dove into theessential oil part.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
Okay, wonderful.
Now I know that you have otherbusinesses within what you do
for the essential oil businessas well, so let's talk about, um
, like chronologically, whatthat looks like, and then I'm.
I will have more questions fromthere, yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
Awesome.
Uh.
So yeah, 2018 went full time.
Um, it was a big year for us.
I mean, my husband had got apromotion at work and we ended
up moving into our new to ushome and there were just a lot
of things happening and it wasgreat and fast forward 2020,
which don't know if anyoneremembers that year you know and

(26:42):
I, before the pandemic hit, Iwent through some personal
trauma, and so when I say like2020 was a hard year for me, I
usually get the reaction of likeyeah, join the club and I'm
like, yeah, I understand that,but this is before the pandemic
and the pandemic was just likean extra cherry on top.
Plus, we had some other likefamily health issues that went
on um, for, like, my side of thefamily so it was it was a

(27:05):
really heavy Um, but wentthrough that trauma and it
really threw me through a loopfor my mental health and, um, my
emotions and my marriage.
I wasn't sure if that was goingto survive and there were just
a lot of things.
And there are definitely daysthat I was like I just want to
crawl in bed and I don't want toget up.
And then I remembered that Ihad two small kids that I had to

(27:27):
take care of.
Yeah, you know, that's just thechoice that we have to make as
moms is like gosh, I don't wantto do this and I know that I
need to because they'redepending on me.
And so, fast forward about ayear and a half, I will say that
I kind of stepped away from mybusiness a little bit.
I wasn't as active in itbecause I needed that time to
just try to collect myself andheal.

(27:49):
And about a year and a halfinto the healing journey, I
still felt like something wasnot right inside of me.
I had been doing therapy and myhusband and I were in marriage
therapy and I just rememberfeeling like there is something
that I have to do to fix me,because there's nothing that
anyone else can say or do to doit to fix me.
And even though I didn't breakmyself, I had to be the one to

(28:12):
put myself back together.
And so, through theencouragement of a friend which
I didn't know this was evenreally out there I ended up
enrolling in an outpatientintensive therapy program for
anxiety, depression and PTSD.
And when I say intensive, oh mygosh.
First couple of weeks I wasdoing 15 hours of therapy a day,
between individual and group.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
It was a lot.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
Wow, 15 hours a day, 15 a week, oh sorry.
Did I misspeak, it felt like 15hours a day.
Sometimes I'm like I might havemisheard, but yeah, that I mean
still, that's intense, yes,incredibly intense.

(28:59):
However, keep sharing more,because I want to know, like we
talked off air, about the peaksand the valleys that we
experience as entrepreneurs, butas mothers as well, and in
making life's, about choices,right Like in making that really
incredible decision, because Ican't help but feel from you

(29:23):
that in making that decision, itreally kind of it probably
helped allow a pivot to happen.
Yeah, but talk us through likemaking that decision and how you
felt, like it carved adifferent pathway for you.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
Yeah Well, it completely changed everything
and I just want to share withyour listeners to like, yes, it
was intense and I would makejokes when I went to group and
be like I have a therapyhangover.
I don't want to talk about myfeelings anymore, and there was
still this little part of mewhen I started of.
Am I worthy of this?
Should I be doing this?
I should be spending more timewith my kids, or we don't need

(30:01):
to be spending the money on this.
There are people out there whohave worse problems than I that
I am taking a spot in thisprogram for.
And should I be doing this?
And finally I got to the pointof like no, I should be, I
deserve to do this, not only formyself, but for my kids as well
.
And so, again, it was so scary.

(30:21):
I had so much self doubt, somuch negative talk at the
beginning of it and it was oneof the best things I had done
for myself and for my family.
So I was in the program forabout four months and I remember
the last day I was like crying.
I was like what am I going todo without you guys?
Like this feels so odd now,even though I've only known you

(30:42):
for you know, four months.
But during that time, when I wasin that therapy program, I was
learning so many different toolsand techniques that I was in
the back of my head thinking whydid I have to go through trauma
in order to learn this?
Like this feels insane to methat we don't just know this as
secondhand stuff.
And so in my oil class Idecided to do a class called the

(31:06):
parent toolbox and I decided toincorporate not just the oils
but also these therapeuticconcepts and techniques that I
had started using.
My kids then saw me using them,so they started using them.
It changed my relationship withmy kids.
It changed my relationship withmyself, with my husband, his

(31:27):
relationship with our kids.
So, again, I saw this reallycool ripple effect and when I
was done giving those classes, Iwould hear from moms all the
time of why don't we know this?
Yeah, why are we not teachingour kids this?
And even empty nesters whowould say, wow, I really wish I

(31:48):
would have had these tools whenmy kids were younger, because
they probably think all I didwas yell when they were children
and I thought, okay, there'ssomething here, there is a need
to get this information outthere.
I don't pretend to be atherapist, I don't pretend to be
a counselor.
I, you know, I'm very clearabout my my lines in that.
However, um, especially withthe pandemic, I've actually

(32:10):
talked to a friend who's atherapist and, you know, was
kind of asking her like is thisokay that I'm sharing this
information?
And she goes we are so packedwith waiting lists after the
pandemic.
She's like it's great if you'reout there sharing the basic
knowledge so we can get to theactual trauma when they come see
us.
Um, and so, yeah, I pivoted mybusiness.
I rebranded to the parenttoolbox, started my podcast Mom

(32:37):
Essentials, and then I developedthe calm approach to confident
parenting and dove into parentcoaching, helping parents one on
one just build those betterbonds, feel better communication
within their home, strengthenjust everything with their kids
and, at the end of the day, justraise some really amazing
humans.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
So in all of this kicked off after COVID, yeah,
okay, and so for call it forfive years almost, or probably
about five years going on.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
Five years, well just actually about two years, so I
didn't do my intensive therapyuntil 2021.
And then you know, I was scared.
I was kind of, you know,nervous to go out there and
rebrand myself again and sharethis information.
But the more people that I talkto, the more parents that I
help.
I know that it's so needed outthere.

(33:23):
So, we're going on about?

Speaker 1 (33:25):
yeah, like two years, two and a half Okay there.
So we're going on about, yeah,like two, two years, two and a
half Okay.
I want to talk about therebranding part of things, cause
I think that what we as mothers, maybe CEOs of the house, like
we like to put labels on thingsright and and stick with the
labels, Like identity, is a huge, huge piece to who we are, like

(33:50):
indefinitely as women.
But I think that it's importantto talk about, like, this
process of like reinventingyourself and rebranding yourself
, and that it's okay to do thatand it doesn't matter where
you're at in life, you just haveto own it.

(34:11):
Let's talk about this.
I want to talk about this.
Oh yeah, no this is not on thequestion.
Yeah, what a light question youjust asked no.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
I think it's something that definitely needs
to be talked about, though,because, as moms, there's so
many external messages that wesee and that we believe that
we've then taken internally andwe believe so we have a ton of
self-doubt.
We feel like if we are focusedon our career, that makes us a
bad mom, but if we're astay-at-home mom, then that
makes us bad because we're notbringing in an income.

(34:43):
So I think, getting rid ofthese labels and knowing that
two things can be true at thesame time I can be a great mom
and build a business 100%.
I can be a stay-at-home mom andadd a ton of value to my home
100%, you know.
So it's a lot of undoing, it'sa lot of unwiring, and when I
work with parents, I always sayI work with the parents because

(35:03):
we have a harder time changingour behaviors, because they've
been concreted in us so muchthan our kids do.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
Oh my gosh, you know A hundred percent.
Yeah, we we my husband and Iconsistently have conversations
in in our dynamic of how welearned through our parents good
, bad or indifferent we havelearned how we then decide we

(35:31):
want to parent in a circumstanceor a situation, and so
sometimes it's great, sometimesthere's room for improvement or
area of opportunity, and I thinkthat if you can understand that
, sometimes it does require apeeling back of the onion layer
or, in this circumstance, areinvention of how you approach

(35:55):
a circumstance, whether it be inbusiness, in life or with your
children as a mom yeah, yeah,and I wish more moms out there
had that confidence just to belike this is who I am, this is
what I want to do, andunderstanding that not everyone
is going to see it the way youdo and not everyone's going to

(36:15):
agree.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
So one of the quotes that I learned in therapy that I
actually got tattooed on myselfis all of me with me, all of
them with them.
Say it one more time All of mewith me, all of them with them,
them with them.
Say it one more time All of mewith me, all of them with them.
Meaning I can only controlmyself and my thoughts and my
actions and my reactions.
I cannot take other people'sreactions on myself.

Speaker 1 (36:40):
Have you, have you watched anything of Mel Robbins?
Let them Okay.
What do you think about all ofit, do you?
I mean this really?
You're like I kind of alreadyhad that.
I think it's a much shortertattoo than I got it is, but
that's so beautiful, it's likebeautifully stated right and so

(37:02):
it's.
It's a very it's intimate toyou.
It is who like stuff that thatyou've learned and so can you
imagine like you're like, I'mjust going to actually, can we
cross this out and go let themthe let them theory?
Yeah, I have.
So I mean, truth be told andyou know, hopefully it would be

(37:22):
amazing if Mel Robbins somedaystumbles across your podcast or
my podcast and finds us having aconversation about the let them
theory, but I have not reallylike, besides, some stuff that
pops up on social media if.
I'm if I'm on there and I justlike I get it.
But have you dove into that I?

(37:43):
have you, you, yeah, I have amindset around that.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
Yeah, I've listened to the book on audio and then
I'm actually in a book studyright now, so I got the book
like the physical copy so that Icould reread it.
And I was joking with agirlfriend of mine and I'm like
what the heck?
I was like she is going to makemillions of dollars off of two
words for the next decade andshe has this we're proud of you,

(38:12):
mel.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
We're so proud, so proud, and that's what I want to
get to is.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
You know, I could sit there and be like, well, I
can't believe she did that.
Well, guess what?
I didn't do anything.
I got it tattooed on myself.
I like to share people you knowthe quote to give them
inspiration.
But look at, she took it andshe ran with it and I'm sure
that there were people thinkingyou know, oh, what do you mean?
Let them like, that's so crazy.
You know why.
You know, having all theseremarks and she didn't, I'm sure

(38:37):
she did let it get to her alittle bit, but then remembered,
let them.
They're not the one in mydriver's seat, they're not the
one living my life, and I'mgoing to let them have their
reactions and their emotionsover there and I'm not going to
burden myself with them.
Which, as moms, we do so much.
We take things that otherpeople say or not getting
invited to something, or maybeour girlfriend says like, oh no,

(38:59):
I can't make it and then weinternalize that for so long,
instead of okay, let them Likethat's, that's fine.
You know she does say too,which, if there's moms listening
who are trying to build abusiness and feel like they
should already be so muchfurther along or more successful
because with social mediathat's such a common trend of

(39:20):
like.
Well, this person said theymade a million dollars on that
course.
Well, they didn't tell youabout the 10 other courses that
they had.
That flopped, yeah, but in thebook Mel does talk about how
when she started her professionand her speaking I mean she was
doing it in church basementsthere were probably a couple

(39:40):
people there and now she speaksto crowds of thousands.
So every little step forward isstill a step forward and we
need to remember that we'redoing amazing things out there
and we just need to keep goingand it'll come.
It'll come.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
The, the being bold in what you want.
I think, like I personally feellike I have these moments of
just having ultimate boldness,yeah, and then other times I
have the I am, am I enough?
Do I deserve this?
Like, what are some ways thatyou have worked with that?
Because I'm feeling from youlike this is something that

(40:16):
you're proclaiming, like you'reproclaiming it for yourself, and
how can other women who arelistening right now like just
take a bit of what you havelearned and kind of fold it
internally within?
I mean, you've alluded to likethe advice that you just gave is
beautiful, but I want to hearhow you personally like really

(40:40):
flowed into that mindset.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
Yeah, um, I wish I had like this really amazing
wisdom, like just super goodquote to give you, because it is
still a struggle for me somedays and I still think am I
enough?
I mean, if you're inentrepreneurship, especially you
.
There are days that you're likeI'm going to go get a nine to
five, like what am I doing?
Why am I doing this?

(41:03):
And then you need to keepreminding yourself of like I
have something to share thatpeople need and they want.
There are people out therehoping and praying for what you
have to offer and we need tokeep that mindset, especially on
those hard days, had shared ina leadership group that I'm in,

(41:30):
and sometimes I'm like, okay, Idon't know, but I'm like, nope,
I'm going to listen to it, I'mgoing to see what happens,
because, worst case scenario,nothing changes.
Sure, best case scenario,everything changes for the
better.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
What have been some guiding principles for you?
I know that you've mentionedyou're a faithful woman.
Yeah, how has that played infor you as a guiding principle?

Speaker 2 (41:50):
Yeah, I'm going to be honest.
When, prior to my trauma, I wasgetting a lot deeper into my
faith, I was in a house groupfor church.
I had gotten baptized.
I felt really strong in it.
After my trauma, I stepped awaya little bit.
There was some shame and guiltaround my trauma, that I knew in

(42:11):
my rational mind that peopleweren't going to judge me in my
house group or if I went tochurch.
In my emotional mind I feltlike everyone was and it was
terrifying to me.
So I'm still working on gettingback to that spot of where I
was before, which has been along journey, but I mean, I

(42:32):
definitely have my faith in that.
Another thing that I took frommy therapy that I encourage
others to do is that writingdown when we have these negative
thoughts, writing down when wehave these thoughts of dis, you
know, like I'm not good enough,I'm not worthy.
Why am I doing this?
Who am I to be out thereeducating about this or sharing

(42:53):
this?
Um, and I tell people, write itdown and come back to it later
and then find evidence to proveit wrong.

Speaker 1 (43:00):
Physically write it down.
Physically write it down CauseI was thinking like, oh, I bet
there's a lot of girlies outthere who are like, I'll just
take it in my notes on my phoneapp.
No, physically write it down.

Speaker 2 (43:13):
Yeah, I mean, if notes app is the only way you
can do it, then do that, butphysically write it down.
And come back to the evidence.
I'll be completely honest andhumble right now.
Um, I did a a session a coupleof weeks ago.
It was a paid thing that peoplejoined on and there was some
good engagement at the beginning.
Through the rest of it, therewas very little engagement and I

(43:34):
kept asking does anyone haveany questions?
At the end, I asked does anyonehave any questions?
And even though at the endpeople are like, oh thanks, this
was great, I appreciate it.
Internally I'm like, oh my gosh, I just bombed.
Like who am I Like?
What am I doing?
I'm going to start putting outmy resume tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
Like I was in a pity party.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
The next morning, again, god wink, I opened up an
email from an owner of acounseling center who I kind of
partnered with on it and herbusiness partner was on the call
and she goes how did it go?
So-and-so, said you did awesomeand I was like you don't know
how much I needed to hear that.

(44:14):
So sometimes we can get sowrapped up in our own negative
thought and beliefs that we needthose little things to pull us
out.
But even us writing downevidence of like I'm not enough.
I am enough.
Look at the ways that I'vechanged people's lives.
Look at the parents that havethose aha moments when I tell
them how important a familymeeting is that they didn't
think about before, and sosometimes we need to come back

(44:38):
to that and on those hard dayswe need to go back to that list
and we need to keep adding tothat evidence and we need to
sometimes, you know, call afriend and say I'm having a hard
day, even as moms like I'mhaving a hard day.
I don't want to do this anymore.

Speaker 1 (44:53):
This is a perfect, perfect segue into what has your
village of support looked like.
I know that you've talked a lotabout taking those steps and in
in some cases it was an, it wasthe necessary steps to therapy.
But what?
What were some of the othermethods of um that support for

(45:16):
you?

Speaker 2 (45:17):
yeah, well, personally, when going through
my trauma, um, I was veryguarded on who I told.
I think that's really importantwhen you're going through
something hard knowing that youdon't have to be an open book to
everyone, that you get to pickand choose who you know is going
to be in your corner to supportyou in all of the ways, not

(45:40):
just letting you vent and havethis pity party all the time,
like being able to challenge youwhen they know that you need it
and it's the right time.
So you know, my village wassuper important and you know it.
You start to understand who'sreally there for you and who you
can confide in.
I love my mom.
She is one of my best friends.
It is weird if we do not, if wego like two days without

(46:02):
talking.
However, when I went into mytherapy, I remember being really
nervous and I couldn't figureout why.
I was nervous to tell her, andI told her and her response was
oh, that sounds awful.
And I'm like, okay, mental note, we are not going to talk to
mom about this and we've talkedabout it since, you know, and

(46:25):
it's come to light, um, but Ithink it's important to make
sure you understand who you cantrust and who you can't.
Also, you know, really takingthat, let them or all of me with
me, all of them with them carryyou through some of those
relationships, knowing that inevery season things are going to
change.
You know, in just because we'renot close to people who are in

(46:47):
our village before, it doesn'tmean anything bad happened.
It's just different seasons oflife and people grow apart.
Sometimes they come backtogether, um.
But one of my favorite sayingsis instead of you know, find
your village, um, it's find yourelephants.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
Hmm, tell me more about it, cause I I'm not
familiar at herds of elephants.
Yeah, stay together as a pack,is that something?
Something to that?
Like I know this, but I can'tquite recollect it.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
So, yeah, sure, more yeah.
So elephants when a mamaelephant is having her baby, the
other elephants will surroundher and they will kick up dust,
they will make noise so thatthey know that she's protected
from any predator.
And in motherhood, sometimeswe're that elephant in the
middle needing protection in ourmost vulnerable times and
sometimes we're that elephant onthe outside kicking up and

(47:38):
making that noise for the otherone inside.
And so I think it's reallyimportant of like who can
surround us and uplift us andsupport us in that super
vulnerable time, whether it'sthat you're just having a really
hard day with your child oryou're going through something
really traumatic.
So, looking for those peopleand not being afraid, if you

(47:59):
know, putting yourself out thereto find new types of your
groups of elephant, not alwayshaving to stay where you thought
you were stuck before.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
Yeah, and that can be a challenge.
I mean, I have I've foundmyself going through these,
these evolutions of self andevolutions of, or seasons, so to
speak, of um friends, and itcan be tough, especially if you
um friends, and it can be tough,especially if you were really
close at one point, and thenit's just you start to see this

(48:38):
shift happen.
So what has that looked likefor you and how have you worked
through some of that in terms ofthe seasons of life that you've
gone through?

Speaker 2 (48:42):
Yeah, I mean there's definitely that's happening in
some of the friendships that Ihave.
You know, the girls that I wentto college with.
I'm still really close to one,but I don't see her as much as I
was, you know would love to.
Um, there's other, I meanthey're having kids and their
babies are a lot younger thanmine and they're busy in their
life season too.
Um, and I can have theperspective of it's nothing bad

(49:04):
that happened, it's justdifferent seasons of life.
But then really finding I mean Ihave friends who are younger
than me.
I have a friend that we jokeall the time that she could be
my mom if she was maybe not sogood in high school.
So I mean, and really takingthe wisdom from both sides of it

(49:25):
, when I was in marketing, oneof our clients once said
something along the lines of aseven-year-old can learn from a
70-year-old and a 70-year-oldcan learn from a seven-year-old,
and so really being able totake wisdom from people's
different experience and life,from people's different

(49:45):
experience and life, and I thinkyou know, as we grow older we
understand that the quality isso much important than the
quantity.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
I was a quantity girl , I was a quantity slash like it
would be quality, yeah.
But I started to realize thatif I what's a delicate way to
put this If I, if I reallywanted to, to continue to like
level set, then the qualitymatched what the quantity was

(50:17):
going to ever look like.
If that makes any sense.
Yeah, yeah for sure.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
And again I mean it's's.
It's hard now being a mom andwatching my children go through
different friendship things, um,and not trying to trying to
guide them without telling themwhat to do.
Um, you know, who knew thatfourth grade was gonna bring
friend drama already?
But here we are, more with mydaughter than my son and you you

(50:46):
know, there there are somepeople that she hangs out with.
That I'm like, okay, like Iwill, I will be welcoming, um,
and and I'm going to maybe keepa little bit of an eye.
However, I'm really trying toinstill in my daughter like that
reminder of like we are who wehang out with, um, you know
cause, of course there was anincident that happened and my

(51:07):
parents were like, well, youneed to just have her stop
hanging out with that person.
And I was like, yeah, how welldid that happen in high school
for me?
Like what was I doing?
I was lying, I was sneaking out.
I wasn't telling you where I wasgoing, and so I'm really trying
to instill, like these seeds ofwisdom, but allowing our kids
to make their own choices, yeah,um of like, hey, we are who we
hang out with and I want you toremember that, as you're

(51:30):
choosing your friends versuslike you can't hang out with
that person.
They're a bad influence yeah,it's.

Speaker 1 (51:36):
It's interesting because you, you want to help
guide them in a, in a positivedirection, without overstep,
like totally overstepping, rightCause the you need to versus
hey, just a friendly reminderyeah, and you're like you and
taking this like um, how did youphrase it for your gent like a

(51:59):
gentler approach, Is that orwhat?
Sorry?

Speaker 2 (52:02):
Yeah, no, you're totally fine.
Yeah, so, yeah, so.
So I the the approach that Iuse is my calm approach to
confident thank you.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
So calm, yeah, that's so a calmer approach versus
like the demanding and likepushing a specific direction.
I think is is incredible and welike we're probably around the
same age like our parents andhow they parented us is going to
.
It just looked different thanwhat it does look now, and

(52:33):
there's so many differentapproaches out there.
But I do think, just forregulation for our own
regulation, but for ourchildren's regulation too if we
can work to really try our bestto calmly approach the situation
, it's going to serve so muchbetter in the long run than not.

(52:55):
Right, yeah, loving and gentleand calm.

Speaker 2 (52:59):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (53:02):
All in one fell swoop .
Yeah, easier said than donesometimes so what?
What has that looked like foryou?
Because I am curious.
Um, it does take like.
Parenting is such a humbleexperience, angie, it's so
humbling I.
I mean, I've got a two-year-oldright now, but then I've got my

(53:23):
bonus boys that are eight and10.
And so I've got this range rightand that can be really
interesting in itself.
But why I mentioned it'shumbling is because you you do
this like deep dive into likewho you are as a person and how
you approach a circumstance withyour children, child or

(53:45):
children and then realize, ooh,I didn't like how I approached
that circumstance, so how, howhas that looked for you in
taking this calm approach?
I can imagine that there waskind of a like peeling back of
the onion layers for yourself toget to that point.

Speaker 2 (54:06):
Absolutely.
Um yeah, oh gosh.
I could go in a milliondifferent directions with this,
but I will try stay on trackhere.
Um, one of the things that Ireally learned about myself
through my trauma is that I'm afixer.
So when the trauma happened Iwas like, okay, this is what I'm
going to do to get through it.
I mean, I even went into thetherapist and I was like I
looked this up and it says Ishould be over this within 18 to

(54:28):
24 months.
Where am I at?
How long do I have to go?
Like, tell me?

Speaker 1 (54:31):
And she, of course, looked at me and was like I
can't tell you that.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
Um.
So it was definitely a humblingexperience.
Personally, on like, oh my gosh, I started realizing all of the
things that my parents hadhanded down to me not
intentionally.
I all of the things that myparents had handed down to me
not intentionally.
I always start out everythingto you know, when I'm working
with parents, saying I'm notshaming our parents because they
did the best they could withthe tools that they had.
100% yes, we now have theopportunity to strengthen those

(54:57):
tools or maybe upgrade them alittle bit.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
That's a very diplomatic way to approach that
so good.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
So for me personally I mean I wasn't like a huge
yeller, but I would yell, Iwould get really frustrated.
I would tell my kids you know,stop it.
It's not important All thesemessages that I was told as a
child that really helped me notlisten to my own body and not
understand my emotions.
And so, as I was developingthis calm approach really quick
for your listeners, the C standsfor compassionate communication

(55:34):
, a is awareness andaccountability, l is learning,
emotional regulation and M ismindful modeling.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
That's so good.
There's an acronym foreverything, right?

Speaker 2 (55:46):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
I came from an acronym world like mortgage was
all about acronyms so I'm like,yeah, I can get back behind this
.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
Yeah, and I wish that I could say that I do it
perfect all of the time.
I don't, because no parent isperfect and the truth is is that
our kids don't care abouthaving perfect parents, they
just want their parents, yep.
And so you know, really divinginto like each of the steps, and

(56:15):
I always say, like there's somany different parenting styles
out there that this necessarilyI don't look as the calm
approach as a parenting style.
I say they're foundationalpieces and parents get to mold
them based on what they need andwant for their families.
So I have been able to see howI had to relearn things from my
childhood and I know that's whata lot of other parents have to

(56:35):
do as well to break thosegenerational cycles.
And when you were talking alittle bit about like we want to
jump in really quick to ourkids and you know we want to
tell them what to do with thesefriends, because we can see it
from a different perspective.
That's one of the biggestthings that with the
communication um, us parents welike to word vomit a lot on our

(56:56):
kids.
They come to us with a problemand we were like oh, we got this
, do this, do that do this andthen it actually shuts down our
kids and that's something thatI've really had to work on as
well, because it breaks ourmommy hearts when our kids are
suffering or they're sad, orthey come home and say so and so

(57:18):
didn't want to sit with me, andwe want our mama bear to come
out and be like I'm getting amessage for their mom, right now
, but we really need to take astep back because we're actually
doing a disservice to our kidswhen we're trying to mow out all
the obstacles for them.
And so I don't know if this is alittle bit of a tangent, but I
don't know if you've watchedthat show, adolescence, on
Netflix.
No, there are a lot ofdifferent threads in that series

(57:41):
.
It's very powerful.
It's hard to watch as a parentat times, but in that series
it's very powerful.
It's hard to watch as a parentat times.
But one of the things is reallythis communication breakdown
between parents and kids andwhen our kids come to us, and
sometimes they want us just tohold space for them, but we want
to jump into the fix it mode ofdo this, and so I teach parents
a lot on the help versus heard.

(58:02):
Literally asking your kids doyou want me just to listen or
would you like me to help youwith this situation can make
such a big difference, becausethat is setting a sense of
safety for our kids, wherethey're going to be able to come
and talk to us about those hardthings.
Versus when I was growing upand I remember I got lost in the
cities one time.
I was like a new driver hadgotten lost.

(58:24):
But in my mind I was like mydad knows everything and he
works in the cities all the timefor his job, so he's going to
tell me how to do this.
I remember calling him andsaying like, oh, I'm lost.
I think it was like in St Paulsomewhere.
He was like are you kidding me?
Lock all your doors, what areyou doing?
How did you get down, freakedout?
I'm like do you ever think I'mgoing to want to call you again
to tell you that I'm lostbecause you just like ring me

(58:45):
out on the phone.
Like you know, I missed a turn.
It was an honest mistake.
But it's just like those littlethings that we can kind of go
back and pivot our approach toit, like the help versus hurt.
Next time don't try fix theproblem for your child, just try

(59:06):
to hold space for them and letthem vent.
And again, we're not going toget it perfect.
It's not about perfection, it'sabout empowerment and we need
to give ourself grace when wedon't do it perfectly and learn
how to approach that with ourkids as well.

Speaker 1 (59:17):
I'm like, okay, I see areas of opportunity for myself
, the fixer in me, the mama bearin me, um, you know, especially
with the 10 and theeight-year-old when
circumstances come up.
And then, undoubtedly with youknow, maddie, who is
biologically mine, and I likesee stuff.

(59:40):
As you know, she's in hertoddler phase and I just want to
be able to like scoop her up.
But luckily I have a husbandwho's been around the block a
couple of times and he's he doesthe hey, you've got to let her
fall like not actually fall,fall, but like you've got to let
her learn on her own, otherwiseshe's always going to be

(01:00:01):
looking to you to be there forher and to fix things, and
that's not going to help her inthe long run, like he's like our
job is to ensure that we areraising great kids, not assholes
.
Yeah, basically like so thatthat can be challenging in the

(01:00:24):
environment that you're in too,whether it's like location or
it's just societal norms or whatwe're seeing on social media or
different approaches toparenting.
But I think that the calmapproach is like something like
you can take maybe bits andpieces of, or take the whole
thing, but all around it's justhelping us as parents to guide

(01:00:48):
in a little bit calmer way, andI love that.
I love it.
Okay.
So I want to.
I want to back up for a moment.
So you mentioned that you dothe, you'll do the essential oil
classes, but then partner youpartner it with the parent
toolbox, like right, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
Or is that how it started?

Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
And there's been an evolution.

Speaker 2 (01:01:12):
Yeah, so I started, you know, leading with oils all
the time and then once Irealized, like this, information
about different approaches,especially within our family, it
needed to happen.
I lead now more with the calmapproach.
Again, I, you know, incorporatethe oils.
You know I'm happy to teachclients about it.
You know, share some differentideas, especially if they want

(01:01:33):
to be more holistic.
I actually have a custom blendcalled the parent helper that I
give all of my clients as anintroduction to essential oils.
Typically, even though it'ssupposed to be for the parents,
I will get comments back of,like my kids stole it from me.
They really like it too.
I'm like perfect, they can beusing it as well, and so now
it's just one of the tools inthe toolbox that I share about.

(01:01:56):
So I have some exciting thingscoming up too, with some
products that are going to comeout shortly.
But, yeah, just really trying tolook at holistically, like,
what are different options?
Because, as you said, with thecalm approach, it's foundational
pieces.
Every family is different,every child is different, so the
tools that I use with mydaughter are different than the

(01:02:17):
tools that I use with my son,and so we get to pick and choose
and decide again what's bestfor our family.
What pieces are we going totake?
Sometimes that means, yeah, wedo want the essential oils as
part of that toolbox.
Other times, you know, we don'tneed that piece of it for our
family right now.
But maybe we need more of thefamily planner that will be
coming out soon.
Or maybe we need, you know,more of this one-on-one support.

(01:02:40):
So, again, it's reallycustomizing it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
You just dropped a little nugget of information
there and I don't know if thelisteners may have caught it,
because I was like did she justsay that?
She just said that, so you havesomething that's going to be
coming out.
It's the family planner.
Are you in a position right nowwhere you can talk about that?
Yeah, okay, yeah, let's talkabout it, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:01):
So one of the pieces that again I saw work so well
for our family and it is usuallya light bulb moment for other
families when I talk about it,but it is in the first step of
the compassionate communication.
I always remind people when youwere in elementary school and
you did the telephone game.
It was super funny.
It would start at one end.

(01:03:25):
It'd end at the other, andeveryone would laugh because the
message was so misconstrued.
It's not so funny when ithappens in our houses, though,
and miscommunication can happena lot, and it breaks down
connection.
It breaks down a ton of things,so one of the practices that I
really teach families to do isjust take 10, 15 minutes every
week and do a family meeting.
Look at the week ahead for afew different reasons.

(01:03:47):
One, kids really thrive onschedules.
It's just the truth most of thetime, so we want to make sure
everyone is prepared for whatthat week looks like, especially
for blended families If they'regoing back and forth to
different houses.
Um, also, there's a chance toreally have some great
conversations.
What went well last week?
What are you excited about thisweek?

(01:04:07):
Starting that open conversationthat doesn't feel a bunch of
pressure around it?
Sure, we look at our meal plancoming up of.
I don't know about you, but Iget stressed out being the mom
talking about roles and all thethings that we're doing meal
planning, so we look at like,hey, everyone give a meal idea,
everyone needs to contribute tothis.
And then we look atresponsibilities, too, of you

(01:04:28):
know, what are theresponsibilities in the
household that need to be donethis week and who is responsible
for them.
Now, when we're able to go andlook at this all as a family and
be on the same page, we're ableto also make sure that we're
spending quality time together.
If we have a really busy weekand we get another invitation,
it's going to be a lot easier tosay no once we can see our week
ahead of us.

(01:04:48):
Or, oh, you know what, we don'thave a lot going on.
Why don't we plan to go do this?
Or you know, we got invited tothat party.
Yes, we can do that withoutoverwhelming everyone in the
family.
So, although I already havekind of a sheet that I give my
clients, I'm creating a familyplanner.
I already have kind of a sheetthat I give my clients.
I'm creating a family planner.
It is going to have the weeklyfamily outline as well as kind

(01:05:13):
of more of an overview of theweek that you can time block if
that's something you'd like todo.
But in the beginning of itwe're going to go over a few
other things like creating corevalues for your family and
setting up goals for your family.
So it'll be coming out soon.
I'm very excited about it.
I've been getting a lot ofgreat feedback from people um
who who say like yeah, this will.
this will definitely helpbecause again we can try be

(01:05:35):
intentional and we can be likeoh yeah, remember we have that
thing.
And then you know, the next daywe have that thing and to our
kids it might go in one ear andout the other, and then we get
frustrated as parents of like Iremember I told you that two
weeks ago that we were, I meanmaybe you do that with your
husband, cause I still have todo that with my husband
sometimes Um, but it's just away to get everyone on the same
page and it's kind of like yeah,you're family planner, so you,

(01:05:57):
so you can see what's going onand you can track your goals,
and there's a differentchallenge every week in there,
there's a different question ofthe week to ask your kids.

Speaker 1 (01:06:11):
How incredible, angie , that is so incredible.
I will, um, I'll be sure todrop just a little note about
that in the show notes, andperhaps by the time this episode
airs it might have already comeout, and so, um, if that's the
case, maybe we'll drop a alittle link in there for people
to be able to get guided to theplanner as well.
Um, I do want to start to landthe plane.
We've done, we've gone everywhich way, and this is like I

(01:06:33):
love.
I love when I have interviewslike this, because it's so
fruitful, you get so much out ofit.
I got so much out of it Also alittle a couple of tips and
tricks too, so I'm like this isincredible.
So nice, um, but I do want tostart to land the plane.
Um, so you had given someadvice before, earlier on in the

(01:06:58):
interview, but I do want to seeif you might have different
advice.
Um, so first, what is a pieceof advice that you would give a
younger version of yourself, youpersonally, knowing all that
you know now?

Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
I think it's that confidence piece Not being
afraid to do something becauseof failure.
We learn from failure and thereare definitely times that I can
look back and think gosh, Iwonder what would have happened
if I would have followed throughwith that or if I would have
taken that leap of faith.
So this year is definitely theyear of like, being bold, taking

(01:07:38):
the chances, reaching out tothe people because, at the end
of the day, all they can say isno.
Because at the end of the day,all they can say is no.
Honestly.

Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
So it's so good.
It's so good.
Now, what's a piece of advicethat you would give a woman
listening right now that, um,because we talked a lot about
reinventing yourself and kind ofrebranding coming from that
marketing egg angle, what's apiece of advice that you would
give a woman right now from thatmarketing angle?

(01:08:06):
What's a piece of advice thatyou would give a woman right now
who is she's?
In that gray area.
She's in that gray area rightnow.

Speaker 2 (01:08:12):
Yeah, don't be afraid to do it.
Let them, or all of me with me,all of them with them.
Again, let them as much shorter, probably easier to remember,
um, but you know, don't, don'tbe scared to reinvent yourself
or to take a stand for who youare, and don't be unapologetic

(01:08:32):
if it changes.

Speaker 1 (01:08:34):
That's so good.

Speaker 2 (01:08:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:08:36):
That's so good.
Who would be a really goodconnection for you right now?

Speaker 2 (01:08:41):
Yeah, you know, honestly, moms obviously, who
want to, who don't want toparent how they were parented.
And again, that's not sayingthat your childhood had to be
horrible, that there had to be alot of trauma.
There's just something insideyou saying, yep, I need some new
tools.
Otherwise, I just I lovesharing the information out

(01:09:03):
there.
So organizations that serveparents are a great connection
for me because you know they can.
Your listeners maybe listen tothis episode and they're like
okay, I think I can apply someof that stuff.
I think I know what she'stalking about.
But when parents do a deep diveof, you know, this is what the
calm approach is.
This is how it can impact yourfamily, your relationships, your

(01:09:25):
kids.

Speaker 1 (01:09:29):
Usually they walk away being like oh, I get it now
.
How can people find you and getconnected to you?

Speaker 2 (01:09:35):
Yeah, they can go on my website, theparenttoolboxinfo
.
There you'll be able to finddownloads, my podcast, of course
, after you're done listening toall of Kelly's episodes, and a
free 30 minute call as well.

Speaker 1 (01:09:50):
Otherwise, on social media I'm at the parent toolbox.
I love it, angie.
This has been heartwarming,enlightening.
I have thoroughly enjoyed allof the information that you have
shared with us and for ourlisteners, and so thank you for
carving out the time.
I appreciate you, and I hopethat there is somebody who's
listening right now that is justin dire need of the support

(01:10:14):
from Angie, and so, if that'syou get connected to Angie.
We'll have all of thatinformation in the show notes.
But thank you again.
I appreciate you and I hope youhave a great rest of the day.

Speaker 2 (01:10:25):
Well, thank you so much, Thank you.

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Ep. 52 with Angie Weber | The Parent Toolbox

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 52 with Angie Weber | The Parent Toolbox