Ep. 56 with Elaine Lankford | Founder, She Steps Forward - Reclaiming Your Hue

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 2 (00:03):
Good morning, elaine.
Good morning, it's so good tobe with you, kelly.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
It is.
It's so good to see you, andit's been.
It's been just a little bit oftime since we had our first ever
interaction and it was soamazing.
I can't even begin to explainto you like I got off that I
think we talked for like what?
An hour and a half, almost twohours.

(00:29):
Oh yeah, Like friends I know andI got off of our zoom call and
I was like Elena, somebody who Ican wholeheartedly tell is
making such a huge impact in theworld but you had.
You left a lasting imprint onmy heart.
It was just so incredible.
So I'm thrilled to have you onthe podcast.

(00:52):
I'm thrilled for our listenersto hear you share your story.
So let's go ahead and dive in.
The first thing I would lovefor you to share is how it is
that we got connected and howour listeners can connect the
dots of our almost two hourconversation we had before we
set everything up with thisinterview.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
So fun.
So you were kind enough to haveone, andrea Anderson, who is a
phenomenal entrepreneur in herown right doing great things,
and I'm so excited that Andreais a part of my board for my
non-profit, she Steps ForwardInternational, and Andrea
connected us, thinking that thiswould be a good conversation

(01:36):
for your podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
Andrea knew, she knew well, and it took just a little
bit of time for us to geteverything in place for the
actual date for the interview.
But, alas, here we are and I'mso thrilled, let's, let's go
ahead and dive in.
What came first for you, elaine?
Was it motherhood or was itentrepreneurship?

Speaker 2 (02:00):
For me it was definitely motherhood, because I
had a very long standingnursing career.
That's where I started out.
I was an oncology nurse for thefirst half of my 16 year career
and then I went into painmanagement.
And after I graduated nursingschool which I'll tell on myself
in 92, my husband and I waitedjust a little bit, and then we

(02:25):
had our son, nicholas, in 1998.
And then we also took on abonus kid, which was my younger
cousin, julie, who was about 12years my younger, and so we had
a newborn and a teenager in thehouse all at the same time, and

(02:47):
that's how my story starts.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Right.
Well, I feel like we couldunpack a lot there, so let's do
it.
I got it.
I got to know and I'm sure thelisteners are very eager to hear
this as well Like what was thedynamic of that in the household
.
Let's, let's unpack some ofthat, because that's quite a
stark difference between ageranges right and now.

(03:12):
I think of like when we had ourdaughter in our household and
the oldest was going to beturning nine, I want to say,
yeah, nine.
So I mean that that in itselfis is close enough to what
you're speaking to.
But let's, let's talk throughthis, because I think that
that's kind of cool and it'sobviously a part of your story.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yeah, I think people should really know off the bat
that I got the guy.
I'm gonna say that right offthe bat.
My husband's been just a rockin my life and as we started out
we knew that we wanted to spenda little time together after we
got married, before we startedour family.
But in the midst of all of that, my younger cousin was always
on my radar.

(03:56):
She had gone through a verytumultuous time where her
parents, very young when theyhad her, they were both on very
different dark paths in theirlife and she had to be taken
from them and she was living onthe other side of the family at
the time and we would see her onweekends and things like that.

(04:18):
And as we became an officialcouple and as we first got
married and we're living in alittle trailer park when we got
started we would get Julie andwe'd have her on the weekends
because I just I had just, forwhatever reason, god gave me a
connection to her when we wereyounger and I didn't want to let
that go.
And as time went on, her father,who had been in prison, got out

(04:42):
and got custody of her and thatsituation just got really
sticky and it was obvious thathe was not prepared to have a
child in his life after beingwithout one for so long.
And we made a bridge for that,because the two sides of the
family long story but could notcooperate with each other.

(05:02):
And we happened to be thebridge for that and we just knew
in our hearts that Julie neededa new home and we were open to
that.
And time went on and we weren'tsure how that was going to all
unfold.
But we ended up going ahead andstarting our family and I got
pregnant with Nicholas and superthrilled to be having a little

(05:23):
boy.
My husband was an only child,so it was great to have a boy.
And, yeah, about a year, withinthat year, the whole situation
around Julie just got veryserious and her father actually
because of the bridge that I hadmade called me and asked me if
I would take her.
And after a long conversation,daryl and I said yes, we would

(05:47):
do that.
And so it was interesting in thebeginning.
I'm juggling a nursing career,I'm juggling a newborn.
I think I was even in schoolback then for a short period of
time.
And then we have this 12 to 13year old who's had such a rough
start to life, already trying todeal with all those emotions
and all those things.
But we were determined to makethis happen so that she would

(06:12):
not turn out to be a statisticand through the bumps and the
lumps we made it through,nicholas didn't know any
different because she wasalready in the house by the time
he got older.
It was the bonus sibling.
He knew that was not hisbiological sibling.
We were always up front aboutwho Julie was and all of that
and it was.
It was funny over time as theygrew up, um, nicholas was an

(06:34):
only child.
He took on that role well and,um, you know, there was some
like this is supposed to be myhouse kind of stuff that went on
at certain times as he gotolder.
But they really meshed well.
Julie, yeah, having the bonuskid at a different age bracket

(06:54):
took some time because obviouslyshe went through middle school
and high school well ahead ofwhen he was even, you know, just
getting into school and so justjuggling schedules and things
were were something.
But when you know that, youknow that, you know you're
supposed to do this, you just doit.
And I think being a nurse andbeing a multitasker, naturally

(07:14):
because of that kind of helpedme, and so we just we did it.
I don't know how we did it somedays, but we did it.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Isn't there something about, like the characteristics
of nurses, is the nurturingaspect of who they are
wholeheartedly right, and so itdoes not surprise me by any
stretch of the imagination thatyou decided hey, god's calling
me, he's speaking to me, thatthis is, this is something that
is needed in in my cousin life,which is a foundation of

(07:45):
stability, consistency, love,nurturing and really unpacking a
lot of that stuff and kind ofgoing okay, you can let go of
those emotions, those feelings.
We don't have to go back andrelive anything about the past,
but we can forget about thatstuff, because this is what it's
like now how incredible, butlike as a new mom.

(08:10):
That had to be, like a lot ofwaves of emotions for yourself
personally, because, you know, Ithink of going through that
experience myself, being a firsttime mom and holy cannoli, it's
the wave of emotions and thehormones and you know that
everything is so new.

(08:31):
But then you're also, like yousaid, juggling a career,
juggling an individual, a familymember, who's who's had a, had
a, you know, maybe a dramaticupbringing, holy say the least
share share, you know part ofwith willing

Speaker 2 (08:54):
yeah, I was gonna say part of it for me was, um, I'm,
I'm from the south, uh, fromVirginia, and raised up with
strong family ties and raised bya set of parents that were
actually older.

(09:14):
My parents waited a whilebefore they had children, and so
I was used to being around theolder generation and the older
generation values, and you justdidn't not do for family.
Family was family and you justdid for them and it was
something that just kicked in,that knew it was right and that
I was, that we were the, as yousaid, the foundation that needed

(09:36):
to be.
She'd never been in a stablehome since she was two, and the
one she was in before then wasnot good, and for me as a nurse,
it was another person thatneeded assistance, right, and so
what was hard in raising Juliewas to see the beauty in her and
she not seeing it in herselfand to fight through that for

(09:59):
all those years.
And we went through all thethings we went through as she
got older the just depressionissues.
We went through substance abuseissues, we went through boy
issues and just going throughall of that and just fighting
for her that what she was borninto was not going to define her

(10:20):
, and I was determined she wasgoing to grow up knowing that
and so, over the course of timeand looking back now, that's
exactly how it played out.
She is much further along inlife, she is, is flourishing in
her own right now obviouslystill things that probably need

(10:41):
to be worked out in her lifeover time but now has a 18 year
old son of her own and she's afierce mom.
She's a fierce mom and I Iappreciate the fact that Julie
always comes back now and tellsus how grateful she was that we
took her in and for thefoundation we gave her, and
that's the outcome you want.

(11:02):
It could have went another way.
We gave her and that's theoutcome you want.
It could have went another way,but I believe God was on our
side.
And then, uh, yeah, her andNicholas have kind of like
interacted over the years.
We've tried to make each ofthem special.
That was the biggest thing, asyou know, trying to raise any
two kids, even if they're yourown kids, trying to make each of
them feel special in their ownway and recognize them and yet

(11:26):
try to establish a relationshipbetween them.
And so, yeah, they'll alwayshave each other in some fashion
or form, and there's just a lotof connection with that.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
That's so incredible and, yes, 100% can testify to
that, that emotion that'sinvoked in you as a mom, to want
to be able to spread the love,and there's there's really no
way to do it equally or evenlyright, because each child is

(12:00):
going to go through their ownseasons and need more nurturing
or less nurturing, justdepending on what right.
So I'm getting to a point and,just to refresh your memory,
I've got two bonus boys and thenmy biological daughter, maddie,
and it is you know, they're 10and eight now and I look at them

(12:23):
and I'm like they are, they'rebecoming little men.
They are becoming little men,which means that they, like
they're also getting to a pointwhere they just don't
necessarily need as much from us.
It's not that they don't needthe love and the nurture.
They just don't need us to toconsistently be like what about

(12:44):
this, what about this, whatabout this, what about this?
You know what I mean?
Like they kind of got it, likethey're, they're there, uh,
they're firing on all cylinders,they got it.
But to be able to really fullycomprehend, um, what does that
look like in terms of what theyactually do need for the love
and the nurture side of it?

(13:05):
It's.
That in itself is a whole othertopic of conversation that we
could go down, but this isElaine's story, and so let's,
let's keep, keep down the pathof Elaine.
I can't help but wonder and Idon't want to spoil quite yet,
because I know that we've got alittle bit more of a journey to

(13:25):
go on but I can't help but thinkthat there's some connective
tissue between what it is thatyou do now and how you supported
your cousin through all thatshe went through.
So we're going to leave that asa little teaser for our
listeners.
Okay, sounds good.
I can't.
So we're going to leave that asa little teaser for our

(13:47):
listeners.
Okay, sounds good.
So you know really the genesisof who you are as a person.
In the occupational stance wasa nurse, right, and so that's
your foundation.
And can you share with us howlong it was that you were
nursing before stepping into theentrepreneurial side of things?

Speaker 2 (14:11):
Oh, absolutely so it was.
You know, I tell people I knewsince sixth grade that I was
supposed to be a nurse.
I can tell you the classroom Iwas sitting in the window, I was
staring out and I heard thatsmall still voice say nurse,
nursing.
And my whole high schooltrajectory was built around that
.
There was no other career paththat I was going through and so

(14:34):
I started back in 89 when therewere three year RN schools and I
went to the Overseas School ofNursing for three years from 89
to 92.
And then I started out in theoncology ward of the hospital
doing oncology and hospice againfor about seven and a half
years.

(14:54):
I almost immediately went backand got my bachelor's and when
Nicholas came along I wasworking on my master's and
toward the end of that I wentinto pain management.
And that was because in 1999,there were regulations that came
out from the powers that bethat regulate hospitals that
said we have to do better inthis area.

(15:15):
And for whatever reasonprobably because I was a go
getter I've always taken onleadership roles in anything
that I do I was asked by thehospital to head up a committee
on pain management to help putthe regulations in place.
And so there was a wholecommittee of us pharmacists,
doctors, and I was just leadingthe committee, and so I became

(15:36):
fascinated with this world ofpain management and how we can
make it better, because I'd hadsome oncology patients that it
did not go great Like we did thebest we could and they still
were in just terrible pain whenthey passed.
And so I was all in to figureout how we do this better.
And so through that process Igot to meet this wonderful lady

(15:57):
named Maureen Carling.
She had come here from England,had worked in the hospices in
England, which are way moreadvanced in their thinking than
what we do.
It's working for anotherhospital system in the area and
she was consulted to come overand show Obesee what she was
doing at her hospital, andbecause I was heading up the
pain management team, I got tobe around all of that and

(16:19):
Maureen essentially took meunder her wing and she taught me
her way of assessment, wherethis lady had brilliantly
matched up how the pain felt andwhat medicine made it better,
and it was different than justthe standard thing that we
thought of.
And so I love that.
And so with her training thehospital advanced my career and

(16:40):
put me in place as the painmanagement nurse for OB-GYN and
put me in place as the painmanagement nurse for OB-GYN, and
I got to, for five years, runaround and assess patients and
consult with the physicians andgive them suggestions on how
their pain management should bearranged and, if they agreed, to
go back and reevaluate thosepatients, and we had many, many

(17:00):
successes doing that.
I learned not only to improvecancer pain but to do post-op
and chronic pain, and for thefirst time in many years, that
hospital's pain scores, meaningpain satisfaction, went up.
And so we made a big difference.
And it wasn't just me, it waseverybody coming together and
following the rules and puttingthings in place.

(17:23):
But having an advocate in thehospital was absolutely the
driver.
Had I not been there or someonebeen there to drive that, it
would not have gone as smoothly.
And so I did that all the wayup until about 2005.
And I noticed that people wereleaving the hospital and not
getting the same care in thearea of pain management.

(17:44):
Doctors were dropping off theirmedicines or stopping their
regimens or just it wassuboptimal care once they got
out of the hospital.
And so me, being me, wanted tobe part of the solution, and so
I went back to school to get mynurse practitioner.
And so from 2005 to 2008, andso from 2005 to 2008, about

(18:05):
three and a half years of that Iwas a nurse practitioner in a
private setting with a physiciandoing pain management in the
area, and I enjoyed it.
I love the patients, it wasfulfilling what I did, and then

(18:29):
the world changed in 2008.

Speaker 1 (18:30):
And that's when we hit the bumps we're going to
talk about.
I'm here for it.
I am sure that the listenersare eager to hear a little bit
more too, so let's go ahead anddive into it, because, you know,
I this evolution of us asmothers who are entrepreneurs,
like there's that, that pointwhere you know you, you're a

(18:56):
mother and then you become anentrepreneur and life just
changes, right.
But we also have to rememberthat there is this foundational
piece and this is what we'rebuilding up on is like there's
all of these foundational piecesthat lead to why we make the
decision to go intoentrepreneurship.
And that doesn't come withoutits high highs or its low lows,

(19:22):
and you've shared a lot about,like, some of the incredible,
impactful, progressive aspectsof what you had been doing.
But, man, I mean I'mrecollecting on that
conversation before leading intoour interview, where you shared
and it's we're there, we'reready, we're it's time.

(19:44):
Go ahead, elaine.
Go ahead.
So important for our listenersto understand the, the lows that
you went through and how itabsolutely for you to be able to
then come up out of that valley.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Absolutely so in 2008,.
You'd have to look back and seethat.
And by that time my son wasaround 10 years old, 10 going
into 11.
Julie was older than past her18th birthday, out kind of doing
her thing, and I had gone intothis path of being a nurse

(20:26):
practitioner and I worked about45 minutes from my house.
So there were some adjustmentsthere.
My parents, thank goodness,were still of an age and a
mindset to kind of help and lookout for, and my husband and I
made adjustments to our schedulebecause I didn't come home
until later in the night when hewas, when he would have to go
and get Nicholas, I would drophim off, he would have to go get

(20:47):
him, kind of thing, and sothere was a little juggling
going on there.
But in 2008, you know, we're,we're life is good, like I'm in
a good career, I'm making a goodsalary, daryl's doing well,
like the family unit has kind ofgrown up and we've made it past
some major humps of having twokids in the house, right, and

(21:08):
things are kind of blissful.
And then in August of 2008,much to our surprise, I was in a
single physician practice, meand another nurse practitioner.
The medical board walked in oneafternoon at two o'clock in the
afternoon and told us to seeour last patient and to send
everybody in the waiting roomhome, and that was just like

(21:31):
what is happening right now.
And so once we had done thatand gathered in the back, we
found out that our practice wasbeing shut down and that
investigation was being openedup against the physician, and it
was just life altering Likewe'd worked so hard to build a
good pain practice.

(21:51):
You have to understand that in1999, as I said, the pain
management regulations came outand everybody was about pain
treatment.
By 2008, the pendulum had swungagain and all of a sudden it
became very controversial.
2008, the pendulum had swungagain and all of a sudden it
became very controversial.
There had been some bad actorsout there.
Admittedly, like in everything,someone's going to spoil it for

(22:12):
everybody, and the state hadstarted to really crack down on
these single physician practices.
We didn't know at the time thatthey had been building a case
against the guy that I workedfor.
He didn't know they werebuilding a case against him.
The guy that I worked for hedidn't know they were building a
case against him.
It was a complete and uttershock, but what happened was the
practice shut down.
So now I'm out of a job.
I have no recourse.

(22:33):
We have all these patients wehave to reroute because we're
not allowed to prescribe forthem past the practice being
shut down.
And then, because part of theprocess is for everyone to be
interviewed, the state board ofnursing came and interviewed me
and basically, because I wouldnot flip on my physician,
because there was nothing toflip on we tried our very best

(22:53):
to follow all of the currentpain standards across the nation
at that time in 2008.
They actually opened up onesingle solitary case against me
and kind of made it up as theywent along.
And so now, not only am I inthe shock of not having a job
and not having an income, all ofa sudden I'm in the position to

(23:15):
defend a 16 year career thatwas unblemished, untouched, no
complaints against me, that Iknew of all, because there were
some political trappings thatwere going on and we were
devastated.
Let me just be real honest andsay to your audience like you

(23:37):
think that physicians and nurseshave malpractice and insurance
to cover all of these things,nurses were not as well covered.
Money was coming out of mypocket to all of a sudden get a
lawyer and all of a sudden gothrough the process of defending
myself, and it would go on fora year.
But let me not go that farquite yet, because in the midst

(23:58):
of all of that, in August of2008, they come in, they shut
the practice down.
I'm going through this, havingto start defend myself a month
later, In December, my fatherpassed away and it was a freak
kind of little car accident thatthey were involved in, and so
all of a sudden my father haspassed away.
He was kind of the glue of mylittle four person nuclear

(24:18):
family and then we're still inthe process of defending and
doing all of that.
The next month, around May-ishof that year, my husband at 47
was diagnosed with prostatecancer.
Now he was early stage and he'shad surgery and he is okay.
But at the time my whole lifereflected Job, like Job in the

(24:39):
Bible, and everything that Ithought was stable and good was
just swept out from underneath.
And I'm sitting in ashesthinking, lord, what in the
world just happened?
What just happened?
And so it was just a darkperiod of time.
And here I am with a10-year-old and, you know, an 18

(25:01):
, 19-year-old just out of thehouse and they know me, your
kids know you, right, and it'slike what's going on, and so I
really had to sit in that for alittle while.
It was a period of time wherethere was no work, there was a
lot of defense, we were goingtens of thousands of dollars in
debt I'm trying to defend me andthen all the things going on

(25:25):
with Daryl and trying to get himthrough treatment and make sure
we're on the right path forthat.
That at the end of the year,still in defense mode, still
seeing them push againsteverything that I was trying to
prove to them, it became veryobvious that they were not going
to let it go the board, and soI made a decision that my family

(25:49):
was more important than mycareer, and I signed something
called a consent order, and thatmeans I don't agree with you
and you don't agree with me, butwe're going to settle on these
terms so we can end this processbecause we didn't.
I just didn't want tofinancially ruin my family, and
so in 2009, didn't?
I just didn't want tofinancially ruin my family, and
so in 2009, late, late 2009 Ibasically walked away from my

(26:10):
nursing career, not knowingwhere that was going, but
knowing that family came first.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
I cannot even imagine and again, I know that the
listeners are going wow, to justhave this massive perspective,
like I was getting chills fromre-listening.
To now I've had the opportunityto have understanding, before

(26:38):
going into the interview, of thecontext of that, but the
reminder of it just gave mechills, elaine.
Like chills because you are notonly going through a trial like
I think like figuratively, butyou know, actual trial and

(27:00):
tribulation.
And then on top of that,because there's all of that
financial component.
But when it comes to themedical side of things, with
diagnoses, that comes with itsown financial burdens as well.
But the biggest thing is theemotional burden that all of

(27:23):
this brings.
And you nailed, you hit it hardwhen you said your kids know you
, and so I would love to hearjust a little bit more about
like and what was kind of yourrock through that.

(27:44):
I think that you've probablyalluded to it, but let's talk
about what the rock was throughall of that.
And then the other thing too isyou know, from 2009 to 2025,
when you decided I'm going toset this down, I think it'll be
important for us to dive intolike this there's a lot of time
between 2009 and 2025.

(28:06):
And so let's, we'll start toexplore some of the areas there,
but let's, let's first startoff with what was your rock
during all of that.
It could not have been easy atall.

Speaker 2 (28:21):
No, it wasn't, see I.
What was so heartbreaking forme is like I grew up in the
church.
Right, I was a church girl, Itell people.
I'm pretty sure I was spit outin the nursery of the church,
though they tell me it was atthe hospital, because my parents
were always there when the doorwas open and, um, up until that
point I had a pretty prettywhat I call bubble-wrapped

(28:43):
Christianity.
Nothing had gone wrong,everything was cool.
God was up there, I knew heliked me.
You know I was baptized at 11.
The whole, you know, my husbandwas baptized when he was a kid.
The way we grew up in theSouthern Baptist ranks and yeah.
So when this all hit, we had,fortunately, just two years

(29:04):
earlier, gotten connected with anon-denominational church.
We and part of the reason wemoved into the
non-denominational church, whichis important for the moms out
there, is that in our littlesouthern baptist church, which
was nothing wrong with, therewere only like six kids in sunny
school and we were parents thatwere determined we wanted our
kid to be raised up and likechurch and want to go to church.
and so we moved over to a churchthat had determined we wanted
our kid to be raised up and likechurch and want to go to church
.
And so we moved over to achurch that had like a 50 kid

(29:26):
kid ministry which is part ofthe move and it grew to 400
before we left that church.
So he had a great upbringing inchurch.
We were.
We were grateful for that.
So we were in a church family.
We were serving a small groupleaders.
My husband played in the band.
I was eventually going to startdoing mission trips, which I'll
talk about, but we weresurrounded by a loving community

(29:48):
and I think God did that onpurpose.
You know, daryl and I reallystarted.
We knew Jesus and grew up withJesus, but we didn't really
start chasing Jesus until 2006.
That's what people have tounderstand.
There's a point where you knowhim but then you don't really
chase him.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
And we were chasing him by 2006.
That happens, yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yes, so it was.
I think God set us up well.
Our community loved on us whenthis happened.
We were not shunned at anypoint.
Everybody knew us.
They knew who we were.

(30:27):
They came around us in justdroves.
My pastor at the time was verygreat.
I was very grateful for him.
He was one of the ones whostood up for me, would write
letters for me, would talk toanybody about me, trying to help
me through the process of whatwas going on, and so we were
well surrounded with people whenit happened.
But it still happened and westill had to kind of like go
through the questions and thingslike that that people curiosity
would have.
But we just kept going.

(30:48):
And this was my crossroads andthis is where I think God was
setting me up all along is whensomething like this happens and
the whole world shuts down onyou and your person of faith.
It's at a crossroads whereyou're either lean into your
faith or you'll.
A crossroads where you'reeither leaning to your faith or
you'll let it go.
And there are more people thanyou can imagine that actually

(31:08):
will let it go.
And so I was not of that nature.
I got stubborn.
I have a stubborn streak.
He's given it to me.
And I leaned in and I said, god, if you're the God that you say
you are, I know you called meinto nursing.
I heard you.

(31:29):
Why would you take this careerfrom me?
I'm going to need you toexplain that to me and that
period of time.
Yeah, I need you to explain allthis to me, right?

Speaker 1 (31:36):
Hey, hey, hey, buddy, now's the time.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
Yeah, yeah, can we talk about this a minute, cause
I'm a little confused?
So from 2008 to 2013 is mystruggle period, right?
So in the beginning, in 2008,2010,.
Here's I'm questioning God Likehe's not talking to me, but I'm
questioning him Like I I'mgetting brave, I'm like what is
it?
And I'm journaling the thingshe's downloaded into my soul.

(32:01):
I'm sitting out in the drivewayjust kind of trying to
contemplate my life and what Irealized over time is that I had
not let my life beChrist-centered, I had let it be
career-centered, and I realizedthat I was identifying myself
with all of those initials onthe wall through all of those

(32:23):
diplomas, and when I didn't havethem anymore, I didn't know who
I was.
Who am I?
Who is Elaine?
Elaine has always been a nurse,a mom, this, that and the other
, and all of a sudden it alljust felt a daughter.
It just all felt taken away.
But the career was at thecenter of it.

(32:44):
And I know now that he waspulling me out of something
where I was shifting away fromhim and it look, if you do it,
he will set you down, becausethe Bible tells us he chastens
the ones that he loves and thechastening hurts because he
needs to get your attention andI he, he got my attention and so
, as we're traveling throughthis and we're working it out
and I'm learning about myselfand work, things kind of went

(33:07):
wrong and I can honestly say andI think I said this to you,
brie, interviewed before when wetalked like I can honestly say
in front of God that there wasnothing I could have done more
in the medical situation thathappened and that I was accused
of things, that my career was aloving career, that I love my
patients.
I would never do anything toharm a patient.
But I got away from God, Istopped identifying with God and

(33:34):
that God was giving me thiscareer and that God had given me
the wisdom to do the thingsthat I did in nursing.
And that was what he was tryingto get me out of.
I was materialistic, you know.
I was spending, you know, a lotof time in the career, which
means I got home late and Iwasn't spending the time with
Nicholas I probably needed to bedoing.
See, it all rolls.
It all rolls.
When you get out of balance, itall gets out of balance, and so

(33:55):
God was trying to realign meand so, through this process,
what I did is in leaning intoGod and knowing that I did not
want to go the other way.
On the crossroads was I leanedinto service, like what can I do
?
I can't sit here anymore, Ican't cry anymore, I can't fret
about it anymore.
I'm going to have to figure outwhat we're going to do, but

(34:17):
what am I going to do in themeantime?
And so I did.
The simplest thing is I got upone day and went down to my
church and volunteered to putthe worship folders together, or
bulletins, or whatever you wantto call it.
You know the thing you get whenyou come in church and it's got
multiple things in it.
I just went down there andstarted sorting because I just I
could do that and because I didthat day after day, I'd find

(34:40):
other little things that I coulddo in service to the church or
in service to other people, andservant leadership will bring
you out of a situation like this.
Serving others and gettingoutside of your head is where
God is trying to get you to go,and when you can lean into that,
you will see him move.
And how he moved in my life isas I served and as I did.

(35:04):
Our church started going toNicaragua about 2010 on mission
trips once a year and I startedgoing with them.
And the very first year that Iwent see, god shows up because I
get down there I'm a nurse.
The pastor's wife that we'repartnering with is a nurse in
her own right in Nicaragua.
She finds out I'm a nurse.
All of a sudden, my little tripwhere I thought I was going to

(35:26):
like hang out with some kids inan orphanage turned into you
need to come over and teachfemale health education.
Funny enough, god put a biologyteacher on that trip.
So me and Val went around andstarted talking to girls about
their female health.
And it went from, you know, thegirls at the orphanage to over
200 girls in the local schoolcommunity.

(35:47):
And here he is in my despair,doubting myself, using me in a
nursing fashion, showing me thatwhen he's in it he can still
use it.
And so we continued on thosetrips.
I didn't always use my nursing,but I started leaning into my
story and started doing theBible studies down there, and

(36:09):
right around that period he'dasked me to put my whole story
of that moment of everythinggoing wrong into a book and I
thought, oh, I don't want to dothat, I don't want to tell
people my stuff.
God like, nobody's going tobelieve me against the machine,
right?
Who's going to know that I'mtelling the truth, against that.

(36:30):
But I journaled, I had dotted,I had done all kinds of things
and all of a sudden I lookeddown and had all these notes and
it took me about six months tocompile it.
And I compiled my first bookthat I ended up self-publishing
and I called it.
Love Echoed Back.
I cried out.
He answered Because that's whatI felt like had happened.

(36:52):
His love had come through to mein this devastating time and he
wanted me to show people thelessons I had learned.
So I put it in the book, toself-publish it, and I even used
the pre-bones of that to godown and do study in Nicaragua.
And it translated over.
They understood hardship.

(37:13):
Oh, my goodness, theyunderstand hardship.
Hardship is universal.
And so that's when I kind ofgot into this way and I thought,
wow, wow, I'm going to be thenext Beth Moore, maybe.
That's when I kind of got intothis way and I thought, wow, wow
, I'm gonna be the next BethMoore, maybe that's where we're
going.
That's great, because I lovetalking and I love writing and
like this could be a thing.
And then, as I'm sitting inNicaragua one year, I heard him

(37:35):
say very, that's that smallstill voice coming again.
I need you to go home and raiseup my daughters.
And I thought what?
All right, wait a minute.
I know Jesus.
I have been down here helpingthese girls and helping these
ladies and helping ladies athome.
But like I'm not the girl whohad a lot of girlfriends in high

(37:56):
school, I'm not a sororitychick, like I really didn't like
girls at some point they weremean.
What do you mean you want?
me to go home and raise them up,right, right, um.
And so I went home and kind ofcontemplated what I was hearing.
And long story short, I lookedup one day in the congregation
that I was in, which had grownfrom like 400 to about a

(38:19):
thousand or so.
We'd moved over to a newbuilding, and I looked up and I
thought, wow, there's a lot ofwasted potential sitting in this
congregation.
Like, I know these ladies, Iknow their stories, I know how
they could help people, but theycome in, they check the box and
they go home.
What's up with that?
And that's when it clicked.
That's that's when he droppedit in.
Like, you are here, you're notgoing to be the one that I push

(38:43):
forward yet, but you're here topush them forward and when you
obey me, you'll see where I'mtaking you.
And I thought, all right, I cando that, right, yeah, so that
was the crux of what I startedand and you can, we can.
I'll pause a minute and see ifyou have any other questions on

(39:05):
that point, but yeah, that'swhere it's headed at this point.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
You know more of a testament.
To get me to my next question,I want to just take a step back
and help the listenersunderstand whether you are
Christian.
More of a spiritual girlyuniverse, kind of woo, woo,

(39:30):
whatever it is.
I think that, to kind ofunderstand things and put it
into context, um, for us asChristian women, god comes first
.
God comes first.
To like understand this lineage, so just bear with me.
God comes first, and then it isyour significant other, husband

(39:51):
or wife and then it is yourfamily, and then it is your
community and, interestinglyenough, nowhere in there is like
I, me, myself, and all of that.
You learn through all of itabout yourself.

(40:12):
You learn God allows you in, in, in following this track of
obedience, because obedience isreally important, because
obedience is really important.
And again, there's many womenwho have been on the podcast,
many women who listen that arenot perhaps full-on Christians
but they believe in a higherpower.

(40:32):
And if you can kind of justkeep this as your track, you're
going to continue to pushforward in a very positive
trajectory.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
No doubt.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
No trajectory, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt and
Elaine is literally giving youthe track there, but I want to
just put that into context howimportant that is, and even for
the Christian women, who perhapshaven't had the light shed on
what this looks like like God,husband and wife, husband and or

(41:10):
wife, family, community, andthat can be your pathway to joy.
My God, seriously, it's soincredible and you are just
really nailing it home byexplaining through your story,
through your testament, in doingthat and being obedient to God,

(41:34):
how it allowed you to be ableto work through all of the muck
to get to the other side of it.
Work through all of the muck toget to the other side of it,
and it doesn't come without its.
You know additional ups anddowns by any stretch of the
imagination, but I just had tosay that, because this is
something that I just recentlyhad my eyes opened to and,

(41:59):
interestingly enough, you saidsomething that's really
important as well, which is likefor for us as christians, like
sometimes, a lot of us are justchecking the box, and it isn't
until you actually get to knowgod and get to know jesus that,
all of a sudden, your mind isjust expanded and your world is

(42:24):
opened up to this Like it's.
It's unbelievable to me Like Ifeel like my heart is on fire
now and I just learn and learnso much on a daily basis.
So I also have to remind myselfsometimes, like I'm like, am I
just checking the box right now,like I've got my routines in

(42:45):
the morning, like am I justchecking the box, or am I
actually like being filled upright now by listening to
scripture and like really comingto learn and understand who our
God is?
It's interesting.
Like I have to give myself thelittle like hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, ma'am, we're not here tocheck off the box.

(43:06):
Like God always comes first.
So just a reminder, but I justhad to kind of relate that and
pull that in.
I want to start to refineeverything with your story,
though, though, because what youare doing is so cool and you've
given us a taste of what you'vedone internationally, but how

(43:30):
did you get to where you are atnow?
Let's start to unpack that partof the story sure.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
So after I had that epiphany, if you will, about
moving women forward, thatbecame my mission and I've
always loved teaching.
That's a natural part ofnursing.
Nurturing is a natural part ofnursing.
Like he's still using my skillsright, it's just coming out in
a different way now.
Um and so, and I had a lot ofum women who respected me in the

(44:01):
community and and and I saythat humbly like I'm always like
what me?
They're like no girl, thatstory of yours I'm like.
Well, um, I realized the powerof my story.
I realized that some and thiswas such a great learning point
for me within the journey that Itook is that we say this so
casually, but it's true, youcannot have a testimony without

(44:23):
a test, and God had just givenme the biggest test in the world
and he was setting me up to usemy testimony.
I just had to open my mouth andthen my my um charge was to get
other women to do the same andto figure out where they fit.
And, uh, we get verycomfortable in the Christian
community.
I'm not.
I'm always going to applaud thelocal church.

(44:44):
I believe it is a life-savingstation.
It is part of what we usewithin the Christian faith to
help with that part.
But we're also supposed tomature and go out and we're not
all meant to serve on the youknow, the staff of a church.
So if that's not where yourlane is, where is your lane?

(45:04):
Because God has given us all apurpose.
He's made that very clear fromcover to cover in the Bible.
And so where is your lane andwhat is your purpose?
Some of us, it is going to bethe mom situation where you're
homeschooling kids or or thosekinds of things.
But what I love to push womenis is how can you expand that?
So in that and I'll say thatbecause you may have a lot of

(45:26):
listeners in that lane likethere's a great woman down in
Georgia who's a homeschoolingmom and she's now expanded it
out so that her community ofblack children have an option of
homeschooling Like that's goingbeyond checking the box, right,
yes, be a homeschool mom, butwhat else?
What else?
Always ask what else.
And so I love pushing women inthat direction.

(45:48):
And so, 2017, I went, got a JohnMaxwell certification because
who doesn't love John Maxwell?
And I started with my firstyeah, yeah.
So.
And I started with my firstcoach, and so I had a great
gentleman who kind of helped mestart meshing my idea together.
Over time, he has really and heI mean God has really refined

(46:11):
it into marketplace, and thatmeans women who are trying to
start businesses, ministries andnonprofit, who are faith-based,
who want to use their faith toempower their businesses.
And so 2019, he had given me anidea for a conference a year
before, and in 2019, I launchedwhat's called the she Steps

(46:32):
Forward Conference, and theemphasis there was to motivate
and inspire women to dream.
What is it that God's given youto do?
And to mesh that with mentoringand coaching.
Well, where is that in the Bible?
Elaine, look at Mary andElizabeth.
Mary, the mother of Jesus, wasmentored and, I would say,
coached by Elizabeth so that shecould walk into the biggest

(46:56):
purpose anyone on this earth hasever had.
When we read through Mary'sstory, we don't catch the part
that the angel said your cousin,elizabeth, is pregnant.
Elizabeth's pregnancy was amiracle.
She was an old woman.
Mary knew that, as a Jewish girl, what that meant, and we forget
that when she got through withthe discussion with the angel

(47:19):
the next day, she got up andwith haste and went to see
Elizabeth.
And what we don't know in ourwestern culture is that where
Mary was in Galilee to whereElizabeth was in Judea was 70
miles.
She got up, ladies, and walked70 miles to figure out what God
was trying to tell her to go tothe person he had named.

(47:40):
And she gets there and she justcalls out like they didn't have
cell phones.
Elizabeth didn't know she wascoming, like there's this whole
story I could tell you behindthat.
But like they didn't have cellphones, she walks and she calls
out and the bible tells us thatjohn in elizabeth's womb leaps
at the sound of mary's voice.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
And I tell people.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
I tell people what happened was.
Mary walked in with the miraclemaker and the miracle within.
Elizabeth responded and shecalls out and she says blessed
is she who would believe therewould be a fulfillment of what
was spoken to her by the Lord?
And that is the verse that Godhas sunk into my heart.
But then let me just fastforward just a minute to the end

(48:25):
of that story, where it tellsus and we never talk about it
that Mary spent three monthswith Elizabeth.
Well, what was going on inthose three months?
This was.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
I don't even know this part.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
Ah, yes, it says.
If you read it it'll say shestayed there three months before
she traveled home.
That means at the end of thatthree months mary was starting
to show.
Mary was getting ready to goback into a community that would
not understand.
Mary had to go back and talk tojoseph.
She may have said something tohim before she left, we don't
know, but we know she had to goback and talk to joseph.
Mary was getting ready to walkinto a situation where her life

(49:02):
could have been in dangerbecause she's an unwed, pregnant
Jewish girl.
What was going on in that threemonths?
God gave her the one person whocould pour into her and
understand her situation andthere was a strong connection
between the two of them.
We miss this in the Bible,ladies.
This is our purpose is to buildeach other up, to empower each

(49:22):
other, to pour into each other,to make sure we're ready to step
into our real callings.
I can't imagine theconversations that went on, the
motherhood conversations, thepurpose conversations, the
miracle conversations Like Ican't imagine.
But she needed that before shewalked into her destiny, just
like Jesus spent that time inthe wilderness before he went

(49:46):
into his ministry.
We don't.
We miss that story in the Bible.
We miss that piece of the storyin the Bible.
And so that lit my heart onfire.
That gave me purpose, that gaveme my scriptural preference for
what I was getting ready to do,and I knew that's what women
needed to know and to learn.
And so she Stuts Forward hasbeen completely based on Luke

(50:07):
1.45.
Blessed is she who believedthere would be a fulfillment of
what was spoken to her from theLord.
And I stepped into that.
I'm going to believe you, god.
What is it you want me to do?
And the one door after one door, I'm just going to walk through
it.
So from that conference, we hadabout 60 ladies come out to
start dreaming again.
They got all excited.
We had 15 local women vendorsthat we supported by allowing

(50:31):
them to vend.
We had three local female-runnonprofits that we supported by
gifting them something throughthe conference.
It was all about empowerment.
People were starting to catchon.
And then God, in his funniness,on the very first conference,
not only did he send me a fewpeople from out of state, he
sends me an internationalattendee.
I get an email a couple of weeksbefore conference from a lady

(50:55):
in Kenya and I thought I havewon the Kenyan lottery.
You know how you get thoseemails all the time Somebody if
you just give your bank details,you're going to have like a
zillion dollars come in.
But I went back and I read itand it was very sincere and she
was asking all the rightquestions, and so I responded to
her and she responded back andI sent her the link and behold,

(51:16):
two weeks later she bought aticket and I thought, oh my God,
she exists.
And so we started communicatingthrough WhatsApp and all this
technology that we have.
She came in, she came to thatconference, she spent the
conference with her.
She was a mom herself of fivebrilliant kids, a co-pastor with
her husband in Kenya, the localsmall church.
She spent some time with mehere in the area after

(51:38):
conference and before she leftto go up to see family up north,
because she has family here onthe east coast.
She asked me if I'd come toNairobi, kenya, and I thought
what?
But it lit my heart on firebecause I'd always been a
missions kid.
I give that back to my pastor.
When I was growing up as ateenager, he put missions on my
heart.
I'd done travel to Nicaraguafor nine years.

(51:59):
Oh, oh.
Now I'm seeing why theexperience of Nicaragua is
coming into play, because now Ihave to start leading people
over to Africa.
And so in February of 2020,before the world shut down with
three other people in tow wentto Nairobi, kenya.
We launched the first G-Stepsfor Africa conference.
We had 60 ladies from fivedifferent African countries

(52:20):
represented and I thought thisis bigger than I thought, this
is crazy big right.
And so you can't go over therefor two days.
So we stayed for a week and shewent around and showed us
different things and I met MissGrace.
Miss Grace, who is running a 65plus kid orphanage in part of
the poorest area in nairobi, hasbeen living off the grace of

(52:45):
god since the 90s.
As she's doing this, trying tohouse and educate children and
give them a start to life, and Ithought, wow, if she could plug
away day after day and do thatwith nothing, what can I do back
home?
Right?
And then we met phyllis.
Phyllis is a part of, she hassomething called the moses

(53:05):
baskin edition think about mosesin the water of the now and
she's a teenage girl advocate.
So in nairobi, or in africa ingeneral, girls can have
difficulty purchasing sanitarytowels and napkins something we
can go to everyday store and getand they will get solicited for
sex to get these products.

(53:25):
And then they'll end uppregnant and kicked out of
school when they get pregnantand need an advocate to get back
in school.
And she's trying to break thecycle in the community along
with going over to a villageabout 45 minutes away where
girls as young as 10 years oldare being put into child bride
marriages because the communityis so poor that the dowry

(53:47):
situation is still in place orthe dowry system is still in
place.
And so there's Phyllis and I'mlike, oh my gosh, this brave
woman with two young boys of herown and a husband risking her
life for all of these girlsbecause that's what she believes
.
And then we meet Mary andWilson, who run the UMAJO
Disability Center, and a largeportion of their population is

(54:10):
women with disabilities or womenwith children with disabilities
.
And if you think havingdisability here in the states is
rough, oh, go to a countrywhere the resources are low and
the roads are not cobbled, andyou know it just.
You know it just.
It's crazy, right.
So where children with adisability are put in the
streets.

Speaker 1 (54:28):
Yeah, you know it's rough yeah, it's just so much
differently over there too, within third world countries with
you know, individuals withdisabilities the not even
remotely close to any stance ofequality, like and even for the

(54:48):
women, even for the women, womenit's still a largely
patriarchal society.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
So you are even there's a higher bracket in the
christian community, but it's apatriarchal society still.
And you're considered a widownot only if your husband died
but if you're divorced.
So it's a lot of you know, alot to overcome over there.
And so we fell in love withthis, these women.

(55:14):
We fell in love with thiscountry.
We just knew that we had to domore and so just decided to make
a whole missions week.
I don't know how we're going todo this, but we're going to
make a whole missions week.
I don't know how we're going todo this, but we're going to
make a whole missions week.
We're going to come back everyyear.
We're going to figure it out.
So I came home, the pandemicensued.
I decided to go back to schooland get a master's in theology,
because what else are you goingto do in a pandemic?
But go back to school, wentahead and started my paperwork

(55:37):
for a nonprofit, because, seeingthe Africa piece, I just knew
we need more of a nonprofit.
So here I am with LLC.
Now I'm starting a nonprofit.
It's all ministry to me.
All right, god, I see you.
I see you.
So we're doing these women'sconferences here in the States

(55:57):
every March and then I go overevery May and do one in Kenya.
We're getting more and moreinto the entrepreneurial piece.
I'm happy to tell you thatsince we talked, our board has
expanded.
We're gearing up for aconference in March of 2026 in
Virginia, here in the States,but we are launching four
African women into theirbusiness and nonprofits right

(56:21):
now.
We've had four that I've beenworking with since the fall and,
as I go over this May, we'regoing to award them seed grants
and get them registered fortheir businesses and keep moving
with them, and their storiesare phenomenal.
Like they have the know, theyknow what they're supposed to be
doing.
They just didn't know how toget there.
And that is the work that Godhas given me to help women find

(56:46):
the A to the Z and the points inbetween, and to cheerlead and
motivate and empower them sothey don't give up.
Because you know as well as Ido, here in our country,
businesses and nonprofits failat a 50% rate and it's probably
higher for women because wedon't have the backing and the
support that we need.

(57:08):
Oh it's imagine what it is inAfrica.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
So the percentage is just so staggering, even, you
know, just for the states.
And then to your point aboutthe massive, massive difference
of what it looks like in otherparts of the world, specifically
third world countries.
You know the women are evenviewed, is already a huge

(57:35):
question.
It's like a huge question marklike why are women being treated
the way that they are?
Like, why are women beingtreated the way that they are?
But to just back up to yourpoint about, like that statistic
, it's pretty staggering here inthe States.
But then you also think aboutas mothers, right, like what
does that typically look like?
We typically are taking on andputting on many different hats,

(57:59):
and a lot of that has to do withtaking on this hat of CEO of
the household, right, like I'veI've referenced that on too many
occasions now on the podcast,because I think that that's just
what the reality of thesituation is and I can't imagine
that that's much different thaninternationally too.

Speaker 2 (58:24):
That's right.
That's right.
There's just a lot more singlemoms internationally.
Yeah, it's a lot more singlemoms internationally.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
So, out of curiosity, can you help connect the dots?
So are you.
Are you now in as all of thisis evolving?
Elaine, and it's just yourstory of she Steps Forward is so
beautiful and so I'm sharingthat, because I don't know if
the listeners caught the sheSteps Forward.

(58:51):
So that is what the name ofElaine's business is, what she's
doing in the entrepreneurialworld.
But are you then also what doesit look like here within the
States?
Like you mentioned that you'vegot the conference, but are you
then having individualconversations with other

(59:13):
entrepreneurial women or like,talk us through what that looks
like, and maybe I'm putting thecar before.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
So no, no, no, no, you're fine, no.
So as it's expanded, what hashappened is there.
I have she steps forwardcoaching, which is my LLC
private coaching practice forwomen who are ready to step into
the one on one coachingbusiness.
They really want a handheldexperience from ideation to
launch.
So I have a 12 month coachingpackage for that with a few

(59:42):
other things.
And then our nonprofit, the shesteps forward International
piece is a four pronged approach.
We do have our annualconference that we'll be
bringing women in.
We'll have main sessions andbreakout sessions.
We have we have amassed here inthe States a network of
entrepreneurial and coaches thatare female, that are seasoned,

(01:00:03):
that are ready to pour back intowomen who are ready to step
into entrepreneurship Because,again, our target is zero to
three community-based women whoknow that, they know they have a
gap to fill in a businessministry or nonprofit stance but
don't know how to get there.
So we do conference, we aredoing a monthly online

(01:00:24):
membership.
So if they want a low level wayto have access to some coaches
on a little bit of frequency, wecan.
We have that.
We're going to be hopefullylaunching a beta cohort, like
we've already done in Africa,here in the States this fall
we're going to gather about ahandful of women to just go
through the process of ideationto launch in about six months

(01:00:45):
that will become an applicationprocess program.
And then we really, really atthe heart of my heart is that I
want she Steps ForwardInternational to become a seed
money grant program where wegive small amounts of seed money
in with a little bit ofcoaching to launch as many women
as we can into their God-sizeddream of entrepreneurship.

(01:01:08):
And we're doing that.
We're doing all four of those.
Things are building up.
We're going to be doing themhere and over there.
We're just the cohort piecewent faster in Africa and I'm
excited we'll be able to givethem their seed money grants
when I go during conference.
But we're going to do the samething here and so that US people
know we have our threeoutreaches in Africa that we're

(01:01:29):
in love with and we support andwe try to raise money for them
and do things for those womenwho are involved in that and
give women-led businesses anopportunity to vent and show
their products at our conferenceand to also acknowledge some
nonprofit-led organizations,women-led nonprofits to showcase

(01:01:53):
them at conference so that ifpeople want to get involved with
their organization, and that isour give back here in the state
, since we have a little moresupport than overseas, but we
can acknowledge some.
We want to acknowledge somegreat women here in the States
that are doing great things.
It's about the us and not the Iand she Sups For will always be
about empowering women who arewalking into their God-given

(01:02:19):
purposes, and so it's not allabout us.
It's a lot about just women ingeneral, and we want to give
back to women in the States inthat way.

Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
It's so incredible and I am, I'm just floored that
you, your approach, started onthat international scale and
then filtered over here to theStates.
And normally it's like.
You know, maybe not normal, Idon't know, I, I I tend to

(01:02:48):
probably think like it wouldstart here.
You know cause you start withyour friends, your family, your
sphere of influence, and then itstarts to expand and people
start to talk and things growthrough the grapevine and then
it goes to the international.
But, ladies and gentlemen,elaine has done it from the
international back here to theStates and that's like.

(01:03:09):
I commend you for that becausethat's incredible.

Speaker 2 (01:03:13):
You know something that his ways are higher than
our ways, aren't they?
He gave it to me.

Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
Yeah, something I want to tie in and really weave
into this, because this is theessence of the podcast, is what
has that looked like for you inin the realm of motherhood, like
how old, how old was your sonwhen all of this really started
to come to fruition, and and andgrow and just continue to

(01:03:44):
expand?

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Yeah.
So again back in 2008, he wasaround.
You know 10, right?
So he's watching me from 10until 20.
He's now 27.
Go through this process andJulie as well.
Like she, she's gone from whereshe was 12 and 13 that she's
now 42.

(01:04:06):
And so they're watching me overthe years.
And I really want to emphasizethis is one of the things you
and I talked about.
One of my driving factors wasabsolutely my faith.
One of my other rocks wasabsolutely my husband.
But one of my other motivationswas my kids.

(01:04:30):
I can't let my kids watch mefail.
I can't let my kids not knowthat God is real.
I can't not walk into this andgive it all it's got, because
they have to know that he is whohe says he is.
And that was one of my other bigmotivators in the background is

(01:04:53):
my kids are watching.
My kids are 27 and 42.
They're not perfect.
They're making their own lifechoices and mistakes nothing
major, but you know how you doit when you're young and you got
to find out for yourself.
But what they do know is thatthey've watched somebody keep
walking it out.

(01:05:13):
They've watched someone comethrough the fire.
They've had their own Biblestory play out in front of them,
and so that was incrediblyimportant that I did not falter
in my faith, because what I knowis, if you raise them right,
they come back right.
Raise a child up in the way theyshould go and they will return,

(01:05:35):
and so all of our lives aretestimony to everybody in the
world.
There's a quote I know you'veheard it.
It says you may be the onlyBible someone ever reads.
Your life may be the only Biblesomeone reads.
And that always was in the backof my mind.
And, if anything, my kids knowwho God is through my life and

(01:06:00):
through my testimony and Ibelieve they are always going to
be productive people and he'sgoing to.
He's setting them up for greatthings.
But that was important to me,that was a driving factor and
they have just watched over theyears.
My son is very um, he's veryanalytical.
He's good at computers andcoding.
He has been able to teachhimself various language.

(01:06:22):
I don't even know where thatcomes from because I can't speak
english sometimes.
The child has taught himselfthree different foreign
languages.
The last one has been Japaneseand he is hard worker.
Like this is my gamer.
Like I was, like oh my goodness, is he going to ever grow up
and be able to hold a job?
When he got a job, work ethicscame out.

(01:06:43):
Work ethics came out.
I saw my child transform intothe person I thought he was
hoping he would be and he knowshe's watched me and he's watched
me and his dad work hard ourwhole life to give it all.
We've gotten to be honest andintegrous when we do our work
and so I have to believe he'sseen that, as in his family and

(01:07:04):
Julie has blossomed into areally great real estate agent.
I'm very proud of her.
She's dug into that.
She's a people person.
She knows how to talk to the,to the, to the hardest of hard
hit in society, up to some ofthe richest, and that's been
part of her journey.
But also watching me be openhearted with people, I believe.

(01:07:25):
And so my kids are watching andmy kids have grown and my kids
are starting to show that what,what I've, what we've shown over
the years, has stuck and that'sthe most rewarding thing you
can ever see or come to know asa mom and a dad is that your
life made a difference in thelife of your kids.

Speaker 1 (01:07:47):
I just want everyone to chew on that.
For a second Cause, it's reallywhat I cannot help to point out
is that, in and through all ofthis, you were building
foundations, foundations withJulie, foundations for yourself,

(01:08:08):
foundations of what walking inGod's God-given will for you was
, and and I loved what you said,elaine where you're like, in
order to have a testimony, youhave to go through tests, and
through all of those tests iswhat, like you have really

(01:08:31):
talked and coached us through islike those tests allow you to
build this foundation, whetherit's the foundation of getting
you closer to your relationshipstrength with God, of getting
you closer to your relationshipstrength with God, or building a
foundation of strength to getyou closer in relationship with

(01:08:53):
your significant other or yourchildren or extended family,
whatever that really needed tolook like, right, that's just
something that's just reallystirring through me right now,
that I feel is kind ofresonating through our
conversation, and it's so, sopowerful.

(01:09:15):
You know you've talked a lotabout some of those valleys,
right, the tests that you wentthrough so that you could have
your testimony, and thattestimony is what you're
speaking to right now.
Maybe you alluded to thisalready, but could you share or
maybe expand like through all ofwhat you've shared.

(01:09:38):
Was there like a particularmoment where it was like your
deepest, darkest moment?
And I think what's reallyimportant, above and beyond that
to share, is what was it thathelped you work through that
deep, dark moment?

Speaker 2 (01:10:01):
I mean, I can remember when everything hit and
it was absolutely the deepest,darkest moment of my life is
when the career accusations cameand I knew that I had done
everything I could do in mynursing career.
I can remember sitting in mybedroom in the dark, silent,

(01:10:23):
with the tears rolling, not ableto move and just thinking where
are you, god?
And is this what Jesus feltlike on the cross when he said
why have you forsaken me?
And how do I reconcile what hasjust happened to what I thought
was going to happen?

(01:10:45):
And that was the.
I'll never forget that night.
That has to be the most darkest, painful night I think I've
ever been through in my life,because it pierced my soul, like
it wasn't even just abouthurting my feelings, like it was
a piercing of the soul.

(01:11:06):
And it's funny because, if youremember, back in the bible they
warned mary your heart will bepierced at some point, meaning
jesus was going to die and herheart was going to be pierced.
And so we have to go throughthis dying of self.
Self.
You don't recognize it when itfirst happens and you got all

(01:11:28):
the questions what he's doing?
He's trying to get you to dieto self.
And it was that night that Itruly I knew Jesus, when I
accepted Jesus to love and Iknew what I was doing.
I had a great pastor whopastored me.
But that night I died to selfand that was when it all started

(01:11:50):
turning around and I can onlytell you it was the grace of God
, it was the love of a stronghusband, it was the drive of
having children watching me thatbrought me out of that and that
leaning in to who he was.
But you have to die to self andthat's when it happened and
I've never been the same sense.

(01:12:11):
No materialistic thing couldyou give me now that I would
trade for that night.
It's worth it to me.

Speaker 1 (01:12:19):
I have to expand off of this.
You literally stole the wordsfrom my mouth, Elaine, because I
was like okay, there's a truthin all of this and it was the.

(01:12:41):
I like to say it's like the egopiece, the ego had to be set,
that we have to do on a dailybasis, Like because we are
consistently battling againstwhat I like to call captivities.
Right, so, like cynicism, itjust overall egotism and not

(01:13:05):
feeling like we're enough.
Maybe sometimes feeling likewe're like we kind of boost
ourselves too much.
We consistently are dying everysingle day because we are not
perfect.
We never will be perfect untilwe die and we go to heaven, and
then that's where everything ispoured into us and we become

(01:13:28):
perfect self, like yep you are.
You.
You're beautifully stating Ihad to let go of this old
version of myself to be able tomove forward and taught.
Like.
This is the essence of thispodcast.

(01:13:49):
Like, let me just hit it homefor everybody this is the reason
that this podcast is evenhappening right now is because I
had to let go of all of theseterrible, terrible things I was
holding on to in order to beable to move forward, and that

(01:14:10):
meant letting go of a careerthat was not serving me.
That meant letting go of an egothat wasn't serving me anymore,
and I just am so thankful thatyou literally knocked that
baseball out of the park.
Home run, home run.

(01:14:32):
It's home run.
So beautiful it's just lightingme on fire because I don't.
I want the listeners, the women,the husbands who are are
listening to their, their wives,like share their stories and
their testaments Like.
This is what it is and this iswhat allows us as, as women.
You know the.
The name of this podcast iscalled reclaiming your hue.

(01:14:53):
It really follows like what thestory of a flamingo is right.
Like, as flamingos, they, whenthey have their babies, they
lose their coloring, andsometimes this happens, like
when we are birthing a businesstoo, and out of that comes a
different shade of who we are asindividuals.

(01:15:17):
Okay, and in the, in speakingto the context of flamingos,
they start to regain some ofthat coloring back as women, we
start to learn who we are aswomen and in this conversation,
because Elaine and I are bothChristian women, who we are as

(01:15:38):
Christian women, to our faith Idon't even know what else I can
say our faith, I don't even knowwhat else I can say.

Speaker 2 (01:15:47):
I would just pair that with the Bible tells us
we're changing from glory toglory and we have yet yet to
scratch who we truly are and howhe sees us, and the only way
we're going to come close tothat on this side of eternity is

(01:16:07):
to keep digging.
I'm probably not going to sayit right.
There's a really great quoteout there.
It's just one of those sayingsthat you see out there, and it
says something like the woman Iam today thinks the woman I was
yesterday, because now I can seethe woman that I'm becoming
Like.
We have all of these layersthat are being pulled back to
get to the true essence of whowe are the daughter of God that

(01:16:29):
we are and the woman that he'screating us to be.
We just have to be brave enoughto keep walking that path out
and to keep asking what's next?
What's next, what else?
Where am I going now?
I have yet to see where, forinstance, she Stubs Forward is
going right.
Will it be encapsulated to twocontinents or not?

(01:16:53):
I don't know.
My heart stays open on that one.
I've yet to see the fullversion of my family, right,
yeah, yeah, yet to see the fullversion of my family, like how
many grandkids will I eventuallyhave not rushed in that right
now, but how many grandkids willI eventually have?
You know, what will my kids bedoing in the latter years?
How will that all fall out?

(01:17:14):
Like we just, we just have tokeep marching our lives out but
become the better versions of usevery time we get a chance and
let at.
Like you said, let go of allthe things because we're holding
on to stuff he wants us to givehim, because he does create
beauty from ashes, but we got togive him our ashes I want to

(01:17:39):
start to land the plane.

Speaker 1 (01:17:41):
This has been so incredible, elaine, and I knew
it was going to the second thatwe hit record.
I was like this is gonna pack anice little punch for our
listeners and I can't wait forthem.
But we're we're ready to startlanding the plane.
And so you kind of set me upreally really nicely with what
you just shared, and so I wouldlove for you to share with the

(01:18:05):
listeners what you just shared,and so I would love for you to
share with the listeners likewhat do you think is next for
she Steps Forward?

Speaker 2 (01:18:18):
We are absolutely on a path to work to create a
national footprint here in theUnited States.
I'm very blessed to have wehave an eight person board.
Most of our members are fromacross the country.
I'm here in Virginia, but wehave people from Pennsylvania,
minnesota, ohio, florida.
We are determined to become anational voice, not only here in
the States but across Africaand so beyond Kenya.

(01:18:41):
I hope that one day we can takeshe Steps forward up to
somewhere like Ghana or down toSouth Africa.
My heart right now is completelyfor Africa.
As far as going outside of theStates, I don't know if it, like
I said, I'm not sure if it'llever go beyond that, but right
now there's a lot of territoryyet to cover in Africa.
But he's setting us up andsetting us up Well.

(01:19:02):
I cannot even begin to tell youthe people and things that have
come through my pathway to keepbuilding this plane right, and
so I'm just going wherever heopens the door next and we will
see what happens.
But I hope that what we willaccomplish between.
What I love about our board isthe core of the women are again

(01:19:23):
coaches and entrepreneurs, but Ihope together that we birth
thousands and thousands of womenhere in the states and Africa
doing marketplace ministry,which means a faith-based not
necessarily out front with that,but your faith-based running a
business ministry, a non-profit,and serving people in society
through what you do in thoseentrepreneurial ventures.

(01:19:45):
And I just know that when wechange their lives, they're
going to change the lives oftheir community and I'm excited
to see what's going to come fromthat.

Speaker 1 (01:19:54):
Well, on the heels of that, who would be a good
connection for you?
As you're talking through allof this, I'm sure that there's
some things that come to mindand who would be a good
connection, so I'd love for youto share that and drop that to
see if we might be able to helpkickstart that for you.

Speaker 2 (01:20:14):
Absolutely so.
We're always, always open tomaking connections with other
seasoned female entrepreneursand coaches out there to come
alongside and be a part of theshe Steps Forward community.
We have spaces and places foryou to give of your talents.
We're also looking for businessand corporate sponsors that see

(01:20:35):
the value in femaleentrepreneurship in general,
because we know, as they say,the hand that rocks the cradle
rules the world, and femaleentrepreneurship is a huge
driver in business andcommunities growing, and we
absolutely would love to seepeople come alongside and feel
like this is a place that theycould donate into.

(01:20:57):
And there's so many ways andthings you can donate into,
whether it's donating into ourconference, donating into our
seed money grant program,donating to one of our
outreaches over in Kenya there'sall kinds of ways you can show
the love to the next upcomingfemale entrepreneur.

Speaker 1 (01:21:14):
So incredible.
Hey, how can people getconnected to you?

Speaker 2 (01:21:20):
So people can find me at she steps forward
coachingcom or she steps forwardinternationalorg.
We have a Facebook andInstagram handles by both of
those names and they are happyto reach out to me directly at
Elaine at she steps forwardinternationalorg.

Speaker 1 (01:21:41):
Beautiful.
I'll be sure to drop that inthe show notes for everybody so
that they have accessibility toget connected to you.
I've got two last questions andthen I will let you go on your
merry way with the rest of yourday, even though, selfishly, I
want to talk to you all day.
I know what is a piece ofadvice that you would give a

(01:22:06):
younger version of yourself,knowing all that, all the wisdom
that you know now.

Speaker 2 (01:22:15):
Yeah, I think the biggest piece of advice that I
would want to give her is havegrace with yourself.
Have grace with yourself.
You're not going to always getit right, but you're on the path
, that he sees you, that you'reright where you need to be, that
you are enough, and that youare going to be so shocked by

(01:22:37):
the things that you do that aregoing to overshadow every
accomplishment that you had tolet go of, and the life you're
going to lead is going to bepower packed and purposeful.
That's what I wish.
I could go back and tell herthat's.

Speaker 1 (01:22:54):
That's good, and I'm sure that there are women who
needed to hear that in themoment so that they can remind
the younger versions ofthemselves.
Just give yourself some goshdarn grace.
I think we all could take alittle dose, a little injection,
of that.
What's a piece of advice thatyou would give a woman listening

(01:23:19):
right now who's nibbling on theedges of entrepreneurship?

Speaker 2 (01:23:25):
I want to say to that woman that girl, don't do it
alone.
Come, come, find your Elizabeth.
God gave us that story in theBible for a reason, and the one
thing that she sets forward istrying to be as an Elizabeth to
a whole bunch of Marys we knowthat are out there that are
going to do powerful things.
So don't try to do it alone.

(01:23:48):
You're going to waste time andeffort when there are women who
would be willing to pull you upto show you what went wrong, to
cut your time frames down, tohelp you save finances.
Lord, girl, I have done it all,trust me, and I've made all the
mistakes, because he never letsme do anything easy, and that
is why we're here is to help youget there and to get there

(01:24:10):
faster and to get there moreefficiently.
Don't do it alone.
It's better in community.
We were built for community andthe Bible reflects that over
and over again.

Speaker 1 (01:24:20):
Amen, sister, and on that note, I just want to say
from the bottom of my heart,first and foremost, thank you to
Andrea for the connection,because that's the root.
Thank you, andrea and Elaine,thank you so much for carving
out time, and especially, youknow, on a Saturday morning.

(01:24:43):
I greatly appreciate you and Itruly hope to see you in the not
so distant future, because thatwould be even more incredible
to actually meet you, give youthe biggest hug that I want to
be able to do right here and now.
But again, thank you so muchfor carving out the time.
I appreciate it and I hope thatyou have a great rest of the

(01:25:06):
day.

Speaker 2 (01:25:08):
Oh, thank you so much for having me, Kelly, and just
invite me into the space, and Ijust I really appreciate you
giving voice to all of thosethat you're giving voice to, and
I just want to tell you keepasking what's next.
There may be more what's?

Speaker 1 (01:25:23):
next there may be more, and that is an amazing,
amazing last bit of like dropmic drop for our listeners.
Elaine, I hope you have a greatrest of the day.
Truly, truly, it's so great tosee you.

Speaker 2 (01:25:42):
Thanks.

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Ep. 56 with Elaine Lankford | Founder, She Steps Forward

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 56 with Elaine Lankford | Founder, She Steps Forward