Ep. 60 with Stephanie Sinclair & Nikki Zweber | How2Mom - Reclaiming Your Hue: A Podcast for Women Rediscovering Themselves in Motherhood & Entrepreneurship

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Good morning ladies, good morning, good morning.
So for our listeners, this isanother very unique episode of
Reclaiming your Hue.
Normally for interviews it'sone-on-one, but I have these two
amazing ladies and so I want tointroduce real quick.
We've got Stephanie Sinclairand Nikki.

(00:22):
How do you pronounce your lastname?

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Zweber.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Zweber.
I thought so.
I was like is it Zweber, Is itZweber?
But we're going to go ahead anddive in and first and foremost,
I want to start with Steph.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
So hi, steph, hello, thank you so much for having us.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
I am so happy to have the two of you here.
What came first for you?
Was it motherhood or was itentrepreneurship?

Speaker 3 (00:48):
It was motherhood All right, but very quickly, within
like minutes, minutes ofmeeting my daughter.
Not necessarily my business,but the fire.
The fire was lit as soon as Imet Mackenzie and seeing so much
more for my life Obviously, notonly personally, I was forever

(01:10):
changed becoming a mom andmeeting Mackenzie and having her
on my chest, but this vision ofknowing other moms deserved to
have the feeling and theempowerment that I received
through my birth experience.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Wow, yeah, I mean that's.
It was pretty powerful.
I actually want to dive intothat moment Cause I think I can.
I can empathize with that,empathize and sympathize with it
.
Something just shifts in youand I wish that that, and
perhaps I.
There is already a name outthere for what that feeling is,

(01:52):
but I want to dive into that.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yeah, let's dive into it.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
I know that we have a lot to unpack here, but that
was such a.
I mean, you came out likepunching in all the right ways.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
So yeah, so much happened in that moment and even
leading up to meeting Mackenzie, I was a paralegal for 10 years
.
I struggled with fertility fora couple of years with my
husband and through that process, while working in corporate
America, I felt very alone.
I felt like there wasn't a lotof support out there.

(02:24):
I was in my mid 20s.
I often joke that, like mygirlfriends would get looked at
and would be pregnant.
Oh my god, and we had lots ofhomework at home and still could
not get pregnant.
And so I right away noticedthat there was this huge gap of
support and this huge gap ofcare and even just that

(02:44):
understanding of differentexperiences and my friends were
amazing, but nobody gave themthe tools to support me, and so
I just ended up feeling veryalone in that Fast forward
through, kind of those years ofcommitting to my body,
committing to my husband andreally just not letting go of

(03:06):
this vision of like I am made tobe a mom.
That's always been in my blood.
There was one conversation Iremember having with my grandma
and saying like what the heck?
Like why isn't this working?
Is this?
Am I totally off or wrong?
But luckily, through treatmentand science, we were able to get
pregnant with Mackenzie.
And that is when I firstlearned about birth doulas.

(03:29):
I had no idea, I had neverreally heard the term or the
profession, went home to Brianfrom a prenatal yoga class and
said I think we need to hire adoula, and he was like what's
that?
And I was like I have no ideabut I think we need one.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
This does not surprise me.
I love like I do have malelisteners.
Yes, I mean, obviously it'smore female, but I think that
the male listeners are thosehusbands, and it's just.
You know.
God bless their hearts.
Sometimes he's like whateveryou need, I just have no idea
what that is and so it was justthrough that process we hired a
doula.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
We really saw our birth at as being something
different than I think a lot ofmy girlfriends had been
experiencing.
A lot of trauma was kind ofconsumed with their stories.
Some of my girlfriends justwanted to put their head down
and like just get through.
And for whatever reason, I justenvisioned this very intimate
growth experience that I wantedto have with Brian, and so the

(04:31):
help of our doula kind of got usprepared, educated and ready
for this huge transformativeexperience.
And I always want people to knowthat that doesn't mean
everything went like perfectlyas planned and there were no
hiccups.
But what was different than Ithink from the stories I was

(04:51):
hearing from friends was we wereable to make the decisions
every step of the way thataligned with our values.
It was like okay, we're kind ofin this predicament Like okay,
well, we know this is a, youknow a hard no, but we know that
we want to explore X, y or Z,and so the whole experience just
felt very empowering.
And when Mackenzie was put onmy chest I looked around the

(05:15):
room.
I was surrounded by incrediblemidwives and nurses and my doula
and, of course, my husband andI was like I need to make sure
other women feel this, and thatwas that moment, and that was
that moment.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
And that was that moment.
That was that moment and thenfrom that moment until the
business was actually birthed.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Yes, my second child.
Okay.
It was not until a year and ahalf later I did have to go back
to corporate America Again.
I think it's incredible whenwomen thrive with having
full-time careers outside of thehome or even inside the home.
For me it felt verynon-authentic.

(05:56):
It was like this is not whereI'm supposed to be.
I'm supposed to be at home withmy child, who I felt like I had
worked so hard for, and I wasonly seeing her one to maybe two
hours a night and I justthought there's got to be more
to life than this.
And I also put my all intoanything that I do and I kept

(06:19):
helping these law firms grow andthrive, but my name was never
on the wall and I was like thisis for the bees.
I don't want my name on thewall, I love it, I love it.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
What better way to do that than cutting your ties and
going I'm going to do this formyself in a very different way,
right?
Obviously, you have some of thelegal components that come with
what you do.
Yes, right, Yep, but for sureyou are your own boss, which
means it's your name.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
Yes, and what I do today and what I've been doing
the last 10 years obviouslylooks very different than the
work I did as a paralegal, butmy heart has always been with
helping others.
I just thrive when I feel likeI can partner and help other
people in whatever area thatthey need.
And so it was the scariestthing I've ever done Seriously.

(07:16):
Even giving birth to twins wasless scary.
I sat down with Brian.
I said I think I want to be astay-at-home mom, because at the
time I was like I just don'twant to go to corporate America
every day.
And he was like he's an amazinghusband, he's very honest.
And he said I love that for you, but it's not in the cards for
us.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
And I was like, yeah, I know I think your husband and
my husband would have niceconversations.
I'm pretty sure Joe had nofluff.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
Yeah, no fluff, no fluff.
And so I said, well then, Ithink I want to start my own
business.
And he was like, okay, and hewas supportive, but like, of
course, kind of like in thisdream type of conversation, and
it wasn't that he told me no, byany means, but anytime I've
been challenged, it just lightsa fire where I'm like I don't

(08:09):
know how I'm going to make thiswork, but I'm going to make this
work.
And so I left my job whenMackenzie was a year and a half,
and that was in March of 2015.
I went through doula trainingin April of 2015.
And I have never looked back.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
It was like let's do this.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Couple key things that I pulled from there.
One you're competitive.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
Very, and I love it.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
I love it I can get back behind it.
It's incredible.
I can also speak to that, LikeI have a little bit of parallel
to what you're speaking to.
I have that same feeling that'sevoked if somebody says no, but
I have a brief moment ofdoubting myself before and then

(08:59):
I go.
Well, hold on a second.
I actually think I want to justdo this and kick some butt and
take some names while I'm doingit.
So, I love it.
It's so incredible.
Okay, so, when you birthed your, your baby business, what year
was it?
Remind me 2015.
2015.
And it's been.
Can you share with thelisteners what the name of your

(09:20):
business is?
Yes, how to mom?

Speaker 3 (09:22):
how to mom.
We empower and honor moms in somany ways.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
Okay, we have another gal here in the room and that's
Nikki.
Um she, she has a story to tellalso, and then we're going to
come converge the two of thesestories together, and I think
we're going to do a lot ofbouncing back and forth, because
there's still some stuff that Iwant to circle back to from
your story.
Stuff, Nikki, it's your turn.

(09:49):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
I don't know how I'm going to follow that, but I'm
going to try.
Oh, I think.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
I think like remember , everybody's got their own
story and it's incredible andpowerful in its own way shape
and form.
And so what came first for you?
Was it motherhood or was itentrepreneurship?

Speaker 2 (10:12):
Mother and form.
And so what came first for you,Was it motherhood or was it
entrepreneurship?
Motherhood for me as well, yes,and so my entrance into
motherhood.
I felt really lucky because atthe time when I was pregnant
with my first daughter, I was soexposed to all of these
different holistic Western meetsEastern.
You know different ways to takecare of myself and to take care

(10:35):
of my baby, so I always I'malways so grateful for that
experience being in thatenvironment, and not only just
being there, but the people thatwalk through our door were from
every walk of life, so we saweverybody, um, and so through
that experience, I was able tomeet um a doula.
She was one of our patients atthe time.
She was going through training.
I knew what doulas were, um, Ijust and this was 15 years ago,

(10:59):
so it still was a little, youdidn't hear about it a lot and
people weren't really engagingall that much?
None of my friends were, and soshe asked me if I could maybe be
one of her sort of liketraining opportunities if she
could join and I loved her.
I thought she was a wonderfulperson and so I said, yeah, why

(11:19):
not?
And very similar to Stephanie.
I came home, told my husband atthe time like hey, we're going
to meet with this person.
She's a birth doula.
And he's like what?
I'm like well, we're going tolearn together.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
Can I just say something real quick?
I had this like thought come up, because when I, I think when I
first heard the word doula, itsounds so woo, woo.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
A thousand percent.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
It really does.
And so I think, like and thatagain to your point, many, many,
many years ago people were justnot talking about doulas.
And so when you hear the worddoula, you're like am I going to
go into the this other worldexperience?
Yeah, like, are you?

Speaker 2 (11:59):
giving birth in a river Like no by the deer.
By all of my wildlife animals?
No, but if you want to, I'dlove that too.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
Whatever you want to do, oh my gosh, so I agree with
you.
Yes.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
So we did have.
Obviously, this doula wasamazing and I gave birth to my
daughter and I couldn't havedone it without her.
I really couldn't have because,again, my husband didn't have a
playbook.
I didn't know what to tell himhow to support me.
So for me that was a hugedriving factor of this work of

(12:37):
no one's out there alsosupporting partners and telling
them how to support me.
They don't know.
So I loved it from the start.
I knew someday there was someway I wanted to do this work, um
, and so then life marched on.
I was um, I worked forchiropractors for about 10 years
of my career and then movedinto corporate life.

(12:57):
Um, and I think similar vein toSteph too, we we do have a lot
in common.
I think this is one of thosecommon underlying things we do
have is the overwhelming senseof helping people in whatever
that looked like, whether it'sparalegal.
I mean, this might sound reallysilly, but I loved my job as a

(13:17):
teenager working at Dairy Queen.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yeah, do you want to know why?
Helping all the teens?

Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, Tell me why?
Because everyone who came toDairy Queen was so happy to be
there A hundred percent and Igot to give them extra happiness
.
Are you nuts?
Yeah, I know that seems reallysilly to say, but I think that's
where it all started was likethese really great little jobs I
had as a teenager and everyonewas so pleased and happy.

(13:43):
I'm like that makes me feelamazing.

Speaker 3 (13:45):
Like that fills my cup.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
So this idea of going back to those roots, of how can
I do work that fills my cup,personally and professionally,
how do I do that?
And so being a doula was alwayssitting in the back of my mind
ever since I had my baby, myfirst baby girl, at 15, 15 years

(14:10):
ago.
It was always there, this, likelittle igniter light.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
Ladies.
Okay, Steph, I want you toweigh in on this too.
This moment that you had bothof you through your own
experience of utilizing a doula,there was this moment that all
of a sudden, you were likethat's what I want to do.
How incredible, Like seriously,and nobody can put an

(14:38):
exactitude to like what that is.
Actually I can, and maybe wedive into this here in just a
moment, but, like being a faithgirly, I go that's just God's
little wink or nudge at you.
But there there is likesomething, and I can't quite put
my finger on it, but likethere's just something to these

(14:58):
little moments in time that wehave where all of a sudden
something clicks on us and we'relike I thought that maybe I was
in alignment before, but I thisfeels so much more, and I know
some of the men who arelistening are probably like the
feels, I tell you, like thefeels get out of the feels.

(15:20):
But there is for women versusmen.
There's, there is like a truescience around this right when
us intuitively, as women, likewe have to listen to our
intuition and listen to thefeels that come from that to
help guide us and point us inthe right direction.
Call it a God wing, call it theuniverse, call it you know, you

(15:41):
know divine intervention,intuition, whatever you want to
call it.
But like there is somethingabout those moments in time that
happen that all of a sudden wejust have this massive shift and
we go.
I'm going to go this directioninstead and for some, the
outsiders looking in, they'regoing what the hell?
Like?
What are you doing?
Yeah, you're like in paralegalright, you know, in in law and

(16:06):
all of a sudden making a loanshift, oh gosh, yeah.
And then in your, in the vein ofwhat you were doing in a
corporate setting marketing andsales and all of a sudden making
this complete, you know, 180shift, yeah, and outsiders are
looking and going what the heck,it doesn't matter.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (16:28):
Like it just doesn't matter.
Well, I think there's a couplethings to that is.
I think a lot of people feelthose nudges.
It's just whether they respondor listen to them 100%, and of
course, we would be naive to nottalk about like opportunity
season of life.
You know courage, and I thinkwhen you said, you know, I get
this fire lit in me and then Iwant to, like you know, take

(16:49):
everyone's name and show themwhat's up, but then you have a
moment of doubt.
I think what has worked for mebut also has put me in some
really scary situations, is I dothat and then I have doubt.
I commit, I start moving andthen I'm like oh, geez, wow, I'm
really like putting myself outthere, but I'm already in.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
I can't back out now.

Speaker 3 (17:09):
And so I almost put myself in those situations but
maybe a little bit intentionallyof just like yep, I know I have
to commit in order to be ableto follow through.
I will say there was a lot ofsacrifices when I left corporate
America, because my husband had, not long before, switched
careers as well, and so he camefrom making really great money

(17:32):
straight out of high school,building that career in the auto
industry, to completelyswitching and going into the
golf industry, oh my God.
So he had not quite finishedhis growth pattern, and so for
us to be able to go down to oneincome was super scary.
Obviously, we had a house, wehad a child, I clipped a lot of

(17:55):
coupons.
That's when coupons were notdigital.
I remember having a conversationwith an old roommate and they
were living a very differentlife.
They were traveling, they were,um, you know, they had extra
funds and she was like she wasworking full time.
And I remember her asking melike I don't know, like is it
all worth it?
Like I just feel like you guysare so head down and, like you

(18:15):
know, not able to do a whole lotbecause of this sacrifice, and
I was like so sure, like, yep,it's going to pay off, like I'm
totally fine with this, likesuper tight lifestyle right now,
because I know what I'mbuilding for the future.
But I will say, not everybodyhas that opportunity, and why I
think it's so cool for Nikki andI to share our stories together

(18:37):
is because our opportunitiespresented themselves at
different times in ourmotherhood journey.
The reason why I think I wasable to take that opportunity is
because, instead of paying forchildcare, I then stepped in as
the primary caregiver, so wewere saving money in that aspect
while building the foundationof how to mom in the nooks and

(19:00):
crannies.
Like my days were spent with mybabies, because I have two more
after the fact, but I would worka lot of nights until midnight
1am, I would work a lot.
I'd wake up at 5am and get acouple hours of work done.
Did we grow as quickly as wecould have?
Absolutely not.
But I was able to raise mybabies while building the

(19:22):
foundation and that, like thetiming of all of that, not only
worked out great because oncethey all were school age, but
then I got to meet thisincredible person and say, like
I'm ready to go full time, likemy kids are all in school now,
and in order for Nikki obviouslyto transition from a full time
corporate job, her opportunitiesand situation changed,

(19:46):
lifestyle wise, um, but also howto mom was ready to to really
kick it into gear, and so thatkind of the timing just really
unfolded.
But I also think it was abeautiful nudge from from above,
or I don't know where, but thatNikki came into my life because
it was not around the birthworld, it was through our kids.

(20:09):
And I literally could notimagine my life, personally or
professionally, without thiswoman, nikki.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
Let's, uh, let's.
Actually I want to throw theball back over into your court,
Cause you, you finished up withhaving the doula and going
through that experience.
But let's, let's share, kind ofcatch the listeners up to speed
.
From that moment up untilmeeting Steph, yeah, and not,

(20:37):
and, and, to her point, itwasn't even in the world of what
you two are doing now.
No, so let's, let's catch thelisteners up to speed on that,
okay.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
So, yes, first baby um here, um, and then three
years later, um, my seconddaughter, gave birth, had the
same doula, of course, couldn'tdo without her.
Um, still, that little fire andum moved to corporate world
after that.
So I spent nine years with acorporate company, doing really
good work actually for Fortune500 companies, supporting their

(21:13):
working families with coaching,with career coaching.
So I say that because I tried sohard to stay in this vein of
like I'm trying to do everything.
I'm trying to stay in thisworld of supporting families,
supporting moms.
I knew there was more out therefor me too.
I just didn't know how to putthe pieces together, so that job

(21:34):
was critical for me.
I was allowed to work from home.
My kids were of an age wherethey were okay with me traveling
here and there, yeah, so thatwas a big part of it.
Stayed in corporate life.
Met Stephanie through our girls, like she said.
So my youngest and her oldestwere friends in school and we

(21:57):
met at the last day of fourthgrade at Dairy Queen At.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
Dairy Queen, let's bring it all together.
That's's bring it all together.
I'm not joking, didn't evenknow how full circle that I know
.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
I'm not joking like.
There is just something outthere like yeah, no reason for
that to happen.

Speaker 3 (22:15):
Who is unhappy at Dairy Queen?
No one.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
No, you're right nobody is except I will say that
day I was a little unhappy.
Yeah, because I was in thisfork in the road of my career
and my life of like I feel likemy soul is being sucked in
corporate world.
Um, it is not filling my cup.
I'm stressed.
I'm having all of these thingsgo on in my life.
And then I meet StephanieSinclair and I said our girls

(22:41):
want to have playdates thissummer.
I should probably meet you.
What do you do?
Do you do camps?
Like, what do you do with yourkids in the summer?
I'm feeling stressed.
She said, well, I actually am abusiness owner.
And I said, well, what do youdo?
She said I'm a birth doula andif you could have recorded my

(23:09):
eyes I mean my mouth probablydropped to the ground.
My eyes were as big as dinnerplates and I basically all but
asked her to like jump on herback and follow her around
through life.
It was this humongous God wankuniverse nudge.
It was like a shove.
It was a total shove.
And not only is she a fantasticperson, she 100% allowed me.
Like something happened and wejust clicked and I asked her a

(23:30):
thousand questions a day.
I wanted to be a part of thatworld so badly.
I'm fairly certain I offered todo things for free with her
business because I just wantedto have my toe in the water, and
that was 2022.
So not only was I able to sortof mentor with Steph but really
understand the foundation of thebusiness she was building and

(23:51):
that it wasn't just a birthdoula.
It was so much more than that.
It was supporting moms,supporting women, supporting
families, giving them a toolboxwhere they don't have to go
midnight Google scrolling.
So I could see it.
I saw it, um, she didn't haveto tell me.
I saw it, um, and I wanted it.

(24:12):
And so then she encouraged meto do uh, go through my doula
training.
So I was um certified doulatraining in January of 2023.
Um I shadowed Stephanie withany birth I could.
So still while workingcorporate life, and I may or may
not have called in sick one day, like not sick at a birth.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
That's okay.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
It happens, can't be scheduled.

Speaker 3 (24:37):
Can't be scheduled.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
And then I did get my first referral through.
A really good friend of minegave me a referral and so I took
my own client and I knew rightaway.
I knew anyway before that, butthat moment of so kind of I
think you were sort of alludingto like a little bit of this
imposter syndrome, right?
So, along the way.
I'm like watching Stephanie dothis work and her confidence and

(25:00):
her knowledge and her expertisein this world and me sitting
thinking like I'm never going to, I'm never going to get there,
like there's so much.
But every single time it's likethis weird thing that happens,
like there's like a snap, andit's just you just turn into
this person that I didn't knowthat I could be and there are a

(25:30):
lot of pieces of that, but itreally was Stephanie building
this foundation and thisenvironment to become this
person that I didn't trustmyself that I could be.
And so the confidence that Igained from Stephanie the
confidence of just getting likesomebody who trusted me to be in
their space, to be in theirworld, with this huge, big,
important part of their lifebringing a baby into the world I

(25:51):
think I left.
I'm like they really wanted methere, like this is the coolest
ever.
I can't believe that peoplewant me to be there and I just I
can never look back Like thereis nothing else for me.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
This is it.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
So yeah, so I left corporate America May of 2024,
so a year ago.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
Congratulations, thank you.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
Cheers to that best day ever.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Cheers, cheers, our coffee, cheers, cheers, it's
coffee.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
Everyone promise coffee swear trust me, we're all
moms here.
We need it, um and yeah, and sothen, um, stephan Stephanie, uh
, officially offered me theopportunity to become a sole
partner of how To Mom um July oflast year.
So we are just coming up on ourone year anniversary of being

(26:47):
partners in this incrediblebusiness that she built with
blood, sweat and tears, and Icould not be happier to continue
this legacy with her and tohoist her up so high, because
she deserves it.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
Okay, I have so many different avenues that I can go
down.
Um, something that I want tospeak to Nikki is in having
interviews with you, guys aregoing to be the 60th episode.
I hope I don't, um, I don't.
I hope I don't end up having toshift that.
But anyway, you're committed now, you know so 60, around 60,

(27:25):
cause I've had a couple of soloepisodes, but I'll tell you that
there are two distinct momentsthat I will end up getting
emotional.
It is in in the weeds, talkingabout the convergence
convergence of motherhood and sobecoming a mom, and that

(27:49):
identity crisis that we canpotentially go through um, or do
go through I should say thatmost of us go through that and
then this shift to from being inone spot to then, all of a
sudden, having that likedifferent alignment and the
empowerment that we, as women,feel when we are truly stepping

(28:14):
into who we like, who God wantsus to be yes, and it is just
like I felt that from you 100%.
It was so cool, like, so cool.
Both of you, like I could feelit from both of you as you were
sharing your stories.
And something I want to shareis that when I get back behind

(28:35):
the mic, I like step into adifferent version of myself, the
one that does feel superempowered, that doesn't have
those imposter syndrome moments.
And how cool to be able to sitand hear the stories of other
women who are just leading acharge, like nothing is better.
Seriously, nothing is better.

(28:57):
Seriously, I couldn't agreemore.
Nothing is better.
No, I couldn't agree more.

Speaker 3 (29:01):
It's so cool.
It's so cool, I think, what youhad mentioned, too, like for the
handful of male listenersregardless male or female, you
can be good at your job, butwhen you feel so passionate and
like this is just a part of whoyou are and you're not just
going to work, you're going tobe really great at your job.

(29:22):
And I knew that and to share alittle too, when so I'd been
building for about eight yearson my own, I did have one
opportunity with a potentialpartner.
We worked together for a coupleof years, and that ended in
nothing but heartache where mywalls went up in a second and I

(29:44):
was like mama bear with how tomom.
I was like I will never sharethis business again.
It was very clear that therewas a lot of using and
manipulation that I just, Ithink, ignored or didn't want to
see and was just really happyto be working alongside someone.
And, for those of you listeningthat are a mompreneur, I

(30:09):
approach my business much likemotherhood.
There are days where I feellike a badass, like I just
totally conquered this to-dolist, I feel like on cloud nine.
I mastered this.
I feel so great.
And there are other days whereI'm literally on my knees crying
going what am I doing?
Who am I?
I really messed that up.

(30:29):
I need to apologize.
I mean, it's just likemotherhood.
And so I was in a space when Iactually first met Nikki, where
my heart was broken and it costme a lot of money and I was
wanting to be hesitant, I wantedto not open up but literally

(30:51):
could not.
I just was so attracted to likewho she was, her personality.
I know she says she wentthrough training in 2022 and
like started the work full time,you know, two years ago, cause
really you did attend quite afew births while at corporate
America.
Yeah, but for me it was never aquestion that I knew she was

(31:14):
built to do this work.
And, yes, there are amazingthings that come from experience
, but you are either built to dothis work and are just
authentically good at it.
And it was instant.
I was like I really should behesitant and like protect my
business, but I can't, because Iwanted to share it with her so
badly that I was like Godforgive me, like if I'm not

(31:37):
listening to this, you knowcause?
My husband, being just likemore of a male business
perspective, is like never dothat again, never trust again
you know, um, you've built thisthe last eight years, like, keep
it as your own.
But literally what we have donethe last two years of course,
even more so the last year sinceNikki's become a partner I
wouldn't have been able to do,not only with my kids not being

(31:59):
in school full time, but withoutthe help of Nikki, like, we
have definitely had a year ofgrowth and a lot of investment
again, but we have definitelyshifted how to mom from being a
doula agency to really openingup our other services, opening
up and building more of our team.

(32:20):
We now have all of our courseson demand, something that I had
been striving for for years.
We have our podcast, we haveamazing relationships with other
professionals All of thesethings that I constantly was
dreaming of and building afoundation for.
But I knew in this moment itwas time for how to mom to bring

(32:42):
it up another level, and Icouldn't do it alone and
literally I don't think anybodyelse was the right fit.
And here came Nikki and I waslike please do this with me.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Well, I really wasn't giving you an option.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
She was just gonna keep at it, she was gonna be
persistent.
Well, something stuff, I thinkis what you're speaking to is
this moment, critical momentthat a mompreneur reaches in
their business, which is scalingright and so you know you had
you hit that twice essentially.

(33:23):
So you hit that hired on anindividual where it just was not
a good fit and then it didn'twork.
So what I want to talk throughthe evaluation that you went
through, because I know that youhad the moment of meeting Nikki
and it was just kind of like,yep, I don't know, why, but like

(33:43):
I, I'm sure there was manyreasons why, and I understand
having Nikki right in front ofme and hearing a lot of what
she's sharing, but whatevaluation did you go through?
I think that this is importantfor the other listeners to hear.
Yeah, Because I'm sure thatthere are the gals who are

(34:04):
listening right now either haveexperienced something similar to
what or could hit that point.
Yeah, and rather than havingthe heartache of hiring on
somebody that is just ultimatelynot the right fit, I want you
to share that evaluation thatyou mentally went through to go
all right now.

(34:25):
This is actually Nikki is theperson, and this is why yeah, I
think there were a couple ofdifferent things.

Speaker 3 (34:33):
I think we were obviously getting busier at how
to mom income was increasing,but there was also this moment
of looking at the numbers andsaying, in order to grow more, I
need more help.
So I need to invest in order toincrease that income.

(34:54):
I also knew, because I learneda ton of lessons through that
hardship.
I knew, at the end of the day,we have incredible team members,
but, at the end of the day, howto mom is one of my babies and
to expect somebody to care tothe level that I do or to

(35:15):
foresee growth like I do in oneof my babies, they needed to
have some of that as their own.
Um, and so, as scary as thatwas, because I felt like I found
the right fit, I was like it'sgo time, um, and so there were,

(35:35):
and partially, the numbers werethere.
But there's also this point oflike scary courage, of like,
okay, here's where we're at.
I need to increase this marginby X amount of numbers.
I don't know that that's goingto be a guarantee, but here are
all the ways that we havestrategized to be able to get
there, and Nikki and I are goingto have a meeting after this

(35:59):
and like really looking atnumbers.
But I'm really happy to saythat we exceeded that goal in
this last year, which feelsreally great.
And I will say, like the reasonwhy I think it really does work
too is we have always promisedto communicate and I feel so.

(36:21):
I feel like I'm able to be sovulnerable with Nikki that that
feels safe.
And she has always shown andproven to me that she will be
just as vulnerable.
And we have just alwayspromised each other that we
would keep the lines ofcommunication open.
And I often say to familyfriends, business partners, like

(36:41):
hard conversations might behard but they're not bad.
I love that Right Like, don'tavoid hard conversations, and
we've had those.
And numbers were importantobviously to not only.
You know, have somebody stepaway from corporate America and
have two children and a life anda lifestyle and I will be

(37:05):
honest, like it's been scary youknow, to say like I believe in
you, come along, I hope thisworks out.
But I also know that it's beenworking out for the last eight
years and I knew that she hadthe grind in her.
I knew that she had the abilityin her.
I knew that she had thedetermination, and that was
something that I hadn't quiteseen before outside of myself.

(37:28):
So I was like I think not onlyyou're the right person, but
like make how to mom one of yourbabies as well, and you will
run with me because we'rebuilding and I often say to like
we're building, even though ourdaughters don't necessarily
envision this as their future.
But we often say like we'rebuilding the legacy to give to

(37:50):
our kids, whether they, whetheror not they want to take over
the business, but just somethingto give them.
And honestly, I love Nikki'sgirls as if they were my own and
I know she feels the same wayabout my kids.
So it just felt like this is afamily business and it felt just
as much that way when Nikki andher entire family joined.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
Nikki yeah, do you have anything to elaborate?

Speaker 2 (38:18):
I do a couple of things.
I'll keep it short.
Um, so, when Steph mentionedhaving hard conversations, I
think the first conversationthat we both had, sitting across
from each other talking aboutthis and she, like gave me the
contract to join as a partnerwas we both had fierce agreement
that if we had a solid escapeclause for both of us, yes.

(38:44):
And not because we did, wedoubted, not because of anything
, but because I think layingthat out on the table first made
those sort of like connotationsof, well, I'll feel bad if it
doesn't work, or financially,like I'm going to give this a
try for a year and like I'm usedto providing a certain amount
for my family but then I'm goingto ruin her whole business.

(39:06):
So none of that was on thetable because we already talked
about it, like if she felt itwasn't a great fit, if I felt it
wasn't a great fit, that was amutual agreement right out of
the gate, so I think justgetting that off of the table
gave us both this freedom toreally jump in, knowing that
there will always be risks, butthere is, it is going to be okay

(39:27):
, yeah, yeah, if it doesn't work.
So I think, acknowledging thatand coming to a massive amount
of terms with if it's not okay,that's okay, yes, yeah.
So that's my first thing withyou, steph, and the family
business.
We do joke about it a littlebit, you know, because it does
take a village.
We are super lucky, we livenice and close together.

(39:51):
Our kids are like littlesiblings.
I mean, we just do the thing.
Um, my husband in particular, Iknow, um, he works full time,
he coaches soccer, but if I'm ata birth, you know, I know that
he's going to make sure thatwhoever needs to be picked up or

(40:11):
get rides, all those thingsRight.
So we do joke like it does takethe entire family, all four of
us, for one birth.
Yeah, and I very often text mygirls if I'm at a birth and I'm
saying goodnight to them.
I text my girls and just saythank you.
Because what Steph is sayingabout building this legacy,
whether our kids decide theywant to do this work or not, I

(40:31):
think maybe just your son isinterested in it.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
Deacon's the only one .
Oh my gosh, I love it he wantsto deliver babies, I love it so
much.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
So cute.

Speaker 2 (40:40):
But not only giving them something, but showing our
kids something.
So showing them that I'macknowledging that I can't do
this without them.
I can't I can't do this withouttheir agreement that my job is
I'm home for weeks on end, butthen sometimes I'm gone for
nights and then when I'm home, Imight miss something, I might

(41:02):
miss a game, I might miss aconcert, but I promise that
we're going to celebrate and doall the things outside of that,
and so it is a little differentthan what they're used to, for
me For sure.
And so I do think, showing themthat you, you can have this
abundance and be really grateful, but it does take a village and

(41:23):
you have to be there for eachother.
So the family business aspect,for me, is just huge in showing
them what life can look like.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
Well, and if I can just really add to that I know
I'm a talker, but what I thinkis really it's okay, Steph,
we're on a podcast, steph, if Ican just really add to that.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
I know I'm a talker, but what I think is really Okay,
steph, we're on a podcast,steph, I know.
But I will go on and on and on.

Speaker 3 (41:39):
This is long form.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
It's okay.
Okay, good, thanks for bearingwith us.

Speaker 3 (41:44):
I think this can be a really great lesson in like
life, motherhood and running abusiness, when I had my twins
and all of a a sudden I wentfrom a mom of one, where
Mackenzie was like the center ofour world, to all of a sudden
having three kids and notfeeling like I had enough hands,
I didn't have enough room on mylap, all of the things.

(42:06):
It was really hard and there wasa transitional moment that
happened with me in motherhoodand I remember crying and being
on my knees and saying I am notable to be the mom to the twins
that I was to Mackenzie andalthough that was really hard to
accept, I needed to go throughthat to lift the guilt and to

(42:29):
give myself grace, to say I'mstill a really great mom, but
it's going to look different nowthat I'm a mom of three versus
a mom of one.
And so then I turned thataround and I said, because there
were times, of course, withtwins somebody was usually
always crying, but I had to inthat moment of being a mom of

(42:50):
three home with three kids,always I had to go to the one
who needed me most in thatmoment and that was sometimes
really hard because Mackenzielike very rarely cried, because
if she cried I picked her up,she was my only.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (43:04):
Now I'm in a position where maybe both the babies are
crying, but Mackenzie needs meand I can't ignore her or put
her priorities on the bottom ofthe list because I have two
crying babies.
And so even in moments that Iget home from really long births
or maybe I missed my ownbirthday or my wedding

(43:27):
anniversary or Mackenzie'sbirthday, all of that has
happened.
As a doula, there's a lot ofsacrifice, like, yes, we talk
about the beauty of this workand I do love it, but there's,
it's hard, it's a.
It definitely takes sacrificefrom the entire family.
But even when my kids will sayI'm so bummed, you weren't at my
game last night, I will say tothem I totally understand, I'm

(43:49):
sorry that I wasn't there.
I get that you're disappointed,but my client needed me most at
that moment.
I get that you're disappointed,but my client needed me most at
that moment, you know, and whata great lesson to teach your
kids of like yes, I am mom and Irun this household and I'm here
to care for all of you, but Ialso am Stephanie and I also get

(44:10):
a lot of joy from helping thesefamilies birth their babies.
And sometimes mom is neededoutside of the home, and that's
okay.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
Wow, nikki's shaking her head Like I feel like it's
going to bob off.
How do you?

Speaker 2 (44:26):
feel about this Well, because I think my own personal
experience like mommingcorporate life, deciding to make
this huge change in my careerand being in that season of my
life where I could, I was, I wasable to make that change.
Like I was able to be Nikkiagain or find Nikki, because the

(44:50):
Nikki before wasn't really whoI wanted and I mean I was fine,
but outside of mom and wife Iguess I was always trying to
find myself and so I love whatyou just said.
Like I mom when you need me,but then when someone else needs
me, then I'm Stephanie, so it'slike I can be a lot of ands and

(45:12):
so I love that.
Multiple callings I love an and.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
So you know, the name of this podcast is reclaiming
your hue, and I think that we'rereally we're talking in this
realm right now of who isStephanie, who is Nikki, who is
Kelly, who were we before beingmoms or entrepreneurs, for that
matter, right and who, like?
How do we reclaim this essenceof Kelly, nikki, stephanie?

(45:41):
You ladies have spoken sobeautifully to that, and I think
that that's really the essenceof what this portion of our
conversation is about.
Um, I think.
Where I want us to sort of leadthe conversation, though, is
talking about what self-carelooks like.
As doulas, and through youragency, I'm sure you talk a lot

(46:06):
to the woman who is about togive birth about the practices
of self-care, right, but whatdoes it look like for the two of
you, through this harmonizingmotherhood and entrepreneurship,
like putting yourselves first?
We talked a little bit aboutthat, but what does it look like

(46:26):
individually for each?

Speaker 3 (46:28):
of you.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
I'm going to let Nikki start, Cause I do feel
like I have learned a lot fromNikki and implementing that
because that was a missing piecefor me.
Obviously, being, you know,sole owner and really head down
and having younger kids when wefirst met, that um work
definitely filled my cup, but Ineeded to relearn how to

(46:51):
prioritize myself, and not onlypartnering gave me that
opportunity, but just havingsuch a great mentor to say like
you matter and giving me a lotof grace that came from her.

Speaker 2 (47:01):
Well, thank you, and I didn't get here by myself.
I'm still working, obviously,but this constantly repeats in
my head Self-care is not selfish.
Self-care is not selfishTotally.
And I don't mean I'm going toget a facial every week, I mean
taking a walk by myself, like doI love taking walks with my
kids?
Absolutely.
Do I love taking time with myhusband A thousand percent.

(47:24):
But I also love just myself.
Like I want to listen to somesilly podcast and, just like,
walk aimlessly.
Um and I know that's a reallysimple example, but those
moments are really important tome.
Um and sort of dissecting thata little bit.
Um, I, my, my life, um tookkind of a different turn as well

(47:51):
when my kids were little, Iabout six, seven years ago.
I went through a pretty roughdivorce at the time but kind of
my whole first marriage I spenta lot of my time hustling and
grinding.
I was always working a coupleof jobs.

(48:11):
I was always providing like noone went without, but I did
sacrifice a lot of myself.
I didn't have self-care, and ifI did have self-care it was very
much kind of this notation ofthat selfish or how dare you
take this time away, or why doyou want to be away this kind of
icky feeling.

(48:33):
And so I just sort of putmyself really in the back burner
and I mean, like my health I'mtalking about dental
appointments.

Speaker 1 (48:40):
I'm talking about.
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
So, and I think, as moms and maybe some other moms
out there can understand andmaybe you've been there or
experienced this with yourparents or friends or aunts and
uncles where it does becomethose moments of not doing those
things because you're doingthem for others.
Well, prioritizing my kids'appointments, prioritizing new

(49:02):
clothes for my kids, new shoesfor my kids I say that my mom
and I joke about this all thetime, but we joke about how we
used to never buy new brasbecause they were so expensive.

Speaker 3 (49:12):
You wait until they're literally falling apart.

Speaker 2 (49:14):
Literally the wire is poking me to the point that I
have, like a giant red mark.
Wait right now.
Not right now because I'velearned from that, I'm just
saying like Ben, they're donethat.
But how ridiculous does thatsound?
And again, that might not fallin anyone's self-care bucket,
but it did for me.
Those were things I didn't do,so I went through my kids being

(49:38):
little, going through thisdivorce, working like two or
three jobs.
Again, community is so criticalfor so many people.
I couldn't have done that partwhen my kids were that age plus
provided for them as a singlemom without my community.
So I'm so blessed.

Speaker 1 (49:55):
You're like killing two birds with one stone.
Right now, that is typicallyone of the questions that I ask
which is you know how, what hasthe support looked like?

Speaker 3 (50:04):
And your village and community might not be your
family.
And that's where I think wehave to shift in our society.
Like we keep waiting for ourfamily to show up and I'm not
saying that mine hasn't, or evengetting into details with that
but like some people live in adifferent state than their
families and, like my villageright now, are like sports
parents of like hey, can my kidcatch a ride?

Speaker 2 (50:24):
And like just constantly putting yourself out
there and knowing that like youshouldn't feel guilty about that
, like we need a village,absolutely, and so I guess, like
getting back to the point ofself-care, so kind of through
all of that right Like I did, Ihad to survive.
I mean, there were years whereI just survived and so, looking

(50:45):
back, I don't regret that and Idon't feel sad about it, because
that's where I was.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
Um, I think through all of that, I was able to show
my girls what it takes to I meanwhat it takes to build a life
that is meaningful, that isdifferent, and choose different
things, even though sacrificesare made.
But you know, back to Steph'spoint about making these
sacrifices like she knew thatthis was going to pay off and I

(51:12):
knew that all of this was goingto pay off.
I didn't know what it lookedlike, but I knew it would.
And then also showing my girlslike raising strong, independent
, amen, never need it.
And I wanted to show them like,yeah, I am going to go out with

(51:38):
my girlfriends for coffee, I amgoing to go to my friend's
birthday dinner and yeah, I paidmoney for babysitters.
But for me that was so importantbecause I am Nikki, I'm a mom,
I'm a friend, I'm a daughter,I'm an aunt, I'm a cousin, I'm
all of these things, and everysingle part of that is so
important for me to tap into andfor me, like, that is my

(52:03):
self-care.
It was showing myself and otherpeople that we could take that
time away and it wasn't selfishand I wasn't sacrificing time
with my kids or prioritizinganything.
That wasn't important.
I don't know.
I just I feel very stronglythat I can't pour from an empty

(52:23):
cup, and you always put your ownoxygen mask on first.
And so that's where I'm at, andagain, from a facial, from a
walk, from a, I'm going outsideand sitting on my porch by
myself with a cup of coffee,like I'm not selfish.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
No, and I think I want everybody to know, too,
that it's a constant journey,that you're learning right.
Just like our babies and ourkids are constantly growing and
changing, so are we as women, um, and I think something that
Nikki and I have really beenable to relate and support one
another is just like this newseason of life that we're in.

(53:02):
You know we're.
We're over our childbearingyears.
Our kids are older.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
Um, I just entered the 40s club in congratulations
a whole new season of life, andI love it a whole new, a whole
new season of life and I love itA whole new body, whole new
hormones.

Speaker 3 (53:18):
And now you know, really kind of like trying to
educate and learn ourselvesthrough this like perimenopause
stage so that we can hopefully,you know, then support women
like our clients when they thenenter that, and like we're
always learning.
And I will say something thatis different today than it was
10 years ago when I started thiswork.

(53:39):
That is very physical, you know, especially when it is very
hands on and we have, forexample, like an unmedicated
birth.
We do a lot regardless, but ofcourse unmedicated births are a
lot more physically, you know,physically enduring demanding
thank you that I am learningthat I need more recovery time

(54:04):
than I did when I was 30.
And now I have this idea of whenI'm at a birth and I'm
literally holding my client upwho's in the bathtub so that she
can work her way through thiscontraction.
I now know when I go to the gymand lift weights, I'm doing it
so that I'm able to do that andnot because I need this perfect

(54:27):
body but, I, need to be strongfor my clients and for my kids,
and so now it's just likespending more time on recovering
from birth, doing things that Iknow my body, my mind, need.
We're both starting, you know,with we, of course, are huge
chiropractor fans literallysaves my life.

(54:48):
I just had a Reiki session withone of these incredible
professionals that we work with.
Being able to care for thetrauma that we carry for clients
, you literally must have beenin my brain.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
I mean that's in my thoughts.
I was thinking I'm sure thatthere is so much emotional
emotions that are happening inthat moment and we're energy yes
, we're just like we.
We take the energy, whetherit's good, bad or indifferent.
You know, anger, sadness,positivity, happiness.

(55:25):
Yeah, I want to hear a littlebit Actually, let's pause on
that but I want to hear a littlebit more.
So, in terms of self-care foryou, you alluded to, like I know
I need to take care of my bodyin a different kind of way now.
So chiropractic, is thereanything else that you wanted to

(55:46):
add to that?

Speaker 3 (55:46):
Yeah, just knowing, giving myself permission, that
even if my kids are at schoolfor seven and a half hours one
day, I might not be at mycomputer working for seven and a
half hours.
Part of my work might meangoing to the chiropractor, going
and getting a massage, layingin bed, taking a nap, like our

(56:07):
work is so different in terms ofschedule that, like, yes, do we
like to capitalize on kid freetime?
Yes, but I think Nikki and Ihave such a great understanding
of like I'm prioritizing mymental health today, or my
physical needs today, um, I doevery other month I see a Mayan
abdominal massage therapist, um,and then on the other months I

(56:31):
just see an amazing massagetherapist that works on my body.
I see a chiropractor at minimumonce a month.
She's a wonderful and reallyknows and understands what it is
that we do, so I definitely canincrease those visits if needed
.
Baths, just taking quiet time,just knowing that, like, when

(56:52):
I'm doing those things, they arenot connected with guilt, they
are not connected withproductivity, because that is
something that I've had tounlearn and retrain in the last
two years since partnering withNikki, of like she's like it is
okay for you to like take theday and go get a massage, like
why do you feel guilty aboutthat?
And I just think I was in that,that mode for so long with my

(57:16):
kids being a little bit youngerthan Nikki's of like the
constant sacrifice and now beingable to say like and it took
somebody looking from theoutside in to say, like you've
built something incredible.
Like, if you're going to sustainthis, we need to implement
different modules you know, likedifferent self-care options and
so, for whatever reason I thinkbecause my mom was such a

(57:38):
grinder and incredible woman butwho sacrificed everything to be
mom and wife and housekeeperlike, who took care of the home
that she never was on the top ofthe priority, and so it's
really hard to get away fromwhat we were raised in.
With a lot of credit to her,nothing bad, but of like me even

(58:00):
teaching her that like, yeah,this is like a different, new
way and she's like, wow, that'sincredible.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
Well, I think something that comes up pretty
frequently within our householdis our parents were just doing
the best that they knew to do inthat moment, and it's of no
fault to do in that moment, andit's of no fault.
And we, like, there are thesemoments where you look and you
go, I wish this or I wish that,but to my point they're.

(58:31):
They literally were just doingtheir best and they are still
continuing to do their best inwhat they know now, but we have
so many more resources now morethan ever, and to be able to tap
into those and go actually,it's really like, especially
with the demands of what yourfield of work is your body needs

(58:54):
to be able to recoup andrecover in a specific way, and
whether that's chiropractic workor it's theiki or it's, you
know you can go down the listthat you had rattled off, but
yeah, yeah, there's.

Speaker 3 (59:05):
there's a lot of that and I think the shift was that
is part of this work.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
Yeah, so we brought it up just a few moments ago
about the energy and that thatsort of.
I am totally drawing a blank onthe word that I want to use,
like how it kind of goes betweeneach one of us, especially in
that room, as a woman is givingbirth.

(59:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (59:31):
So I Females biologically females gravitate
towards other female energywhile birthing their babies.
And I have a really fun storyand it was at the very start of
my career.
I had the honor of supportingthis incredible couple and I
want to make sure everybodyknows that they were strong,

(59:55):
they had an amazing foundation.
They still do.
They're an incredible couple,extremely intimate in the way of
like their connection and theirfaith and like literally love
them to pieces.
But the moment I realized thiswork and why women historically
and why they still need to besurrounded by other women, is

(01:00:16):
because biologically andphysiologically we respond to
that female energy.
So, they were at the hospital.
They had been laboring for sometime.
Again, this husband is anincredible supporter, like
anything his wife needed.
Oh, like they were, just like Isee them right now.
And it was just such abeautiful, beautiful birth.
But I walked in, she wassitting on the ball the birth

(01:00:38):
ball, and she was leaning intothe bed and she was handling
these contractions with so muchcourage and so much beauty.
And her husband was right therebreathing with her.
And because she was in themiddle of a contraction, I
wasn't going to say like hi,how's it going?
So I just walked up next to her, put my hand on her shoulder to

(01:01:00):
make sure she knew that I wasthere, that I was present, and
without any intention, sheliterally took her cheek and
brought my hand up to her cheekand I just held her cheek and it
was like our bodies cametogether in this way that I had

(01:01:21):
never felt before of this, likeintimacy with another woman, of
like I am here, you are safe, Igot you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
And we're going to do this.

Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
And it was the first time I felt that draw that was
so strong and it was like thisis what women need you can have
the most supportive significantother, but that female energy
and that way that we just becameone in that moment, when she
was in the thick of acontraction, it was like this

(01:01:54):
reassurance of like I'm supposedto be here oh, I was not
expecting to have such anemotional reaction to it, but I
think I love my husband so muchand he you know, as you ladies
know, I have two bonus boys andso he's been through, he's been
through it, but both boys wereborn via C-section.

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
Okay, yeah, so my experience going through
birthing Maddie was traditionaland he was so excited to be a
part of that process.
But I'll tell you what whatyou're speaking to, steph, is so
important, but that it's valid,and maybe it's just me in this

(01:02:37):
moment going.
Yeah, I remember having my momshow up and she wasn't there
during the process of givingbirth, cause that was something
that my husband and I had talkedabout.
We just wanted to be in theroom together.
Yeah, hindsight 2020.
Right, but, um, after the fact,and then, like before, when I

(01:02:59):
was going through mycontractions, before having my
epidural, and my mom being thereand doing something very
similar, like, and then, as Iwas pushing, giving birth to
Maddie, when my doctor was like,hey, you got to push and the
nurse was there and like, andyou're listening to them and

(01:03:23):
it's so powerful, especially ifthey're caring and they're
nurturing through that processtoo.
Yes, yeah, that can be a gamechanger.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
Yeah, it was such a beautifulmoment.
It was really early on in mycareer and it has stayed with me
.
Like most births, I takesomething with and they shape
who I am as a person.
Yeah, but yeah, it was a reallybeautiful moment.
I'll never forget it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:49):
Yeah, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (01:03:51):
I think that's why, too, your message and this
podcast and everything thatyou're out there doing in the
community and bringing womentogether Again, just feels like
this generation and thismovement, whatever you want to
call it, like bringing that sortof community connection back

(01:04:15):
together with women, versus thiscompetitiveness and have to be
better than and do different,but just existing together in
every way.
Shape and form is so important.
Kelly like this is so good weall have.

Speaker 1 (01:04:27):
Thank you, you know I didn't think that our
conversation would go thatdirection, but I just want to
touch on that too, because it's.
There are realities of thiscompetitive nature between us as
women, and my husband hasactually brought it up.
He he's like you're not gettingdressed up for me, you're
getting dressed up for the otherwomen in the room, and I said a

(01:04:47):
hundred percent you know what Imean A hundred percent, and
that's not really talking on thecompetitive side.
It's more so like we love oneanother.
But then there's also thisother side of us as women that
is like catty, and I think,depending on like, I'm going to
be turning 40 this year too,stuff.
So I'm going to be joining the40 club.
Okay, we're here.

Speaker 3 (01:05:07):
We're here for you to decompress it all.

Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
I will lead the way I am two years ahead of both of
you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:12):
She's already led the charge.

Speaker 2 (01:05:14):
Come with me, children.

Speaker 3 (01:05:16):
She was my go to for all of my conflicting feelings.

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
Now.
But here's the thing, nikki,okay.
So if we take ourselves back tosay high school, right, we were
all kind of in that same spaceand time.
If we were freshmen, you weregoing to be a junior at that
point.
And then still there's thesecouple years of overlapping.

(01:05:41):
There was so much cattiness atthat point.
And then still there's thesecouple of years of overlapping.
There was so much cattiness atthat point in my lifetime, like
so much cattiness.
But I also had a very uniquegraduating class that was so
close, tight knit and amazing atthe same time.
But I think I love what youshared about kind of letting
that go and going.

(01:06:02):
How can we support one another?
And I whether you're a corporategirly listening to this or not
like I think that there's aspace for mothers and who are
also in the corporate setting,or mothers who are in the
entrepreneur setting, but, like,especially in this
entrepreneurial space, becauseit is just it's, it's just it's,
it's a lot, it's a lot, and themore that we can come together

(01:06:27):
and unite and have a unitedfront and understand that
there's there truly is thissupport, whatever season of life
you're in.
Right, because I think thatthat's also important too and
part of the reason.
By the time this episode airs,the anniversary event will have
already happened.
Right, but that is the reason Iwanted to do that is because I

(01:06:51):
want those women the women whohave been on the podcast, the
women who are scheduled to be onthe podcast as future guests
and people who I am seeking tobe on the podcast still, like
all of you ladies, need to be inthe room together and meet one
another because, who knows, likeI know that you ladies aren't

(01:07:13):
able to be there at the event,but if you were, who knows?
You might've met somebody whois in that season of life where
they're pregnant, they own abusiness and they are not even
considering a doula right.
Lucky for me, you guys will havestuff in the swag bag, so
people will understand orthey'll be able to pass your

(01:07:35):
information, but that's thewhole point.
That is the whole point and Igo.
But that's the whole point,like that is the whole point and
I go.
I can do it through this mediumof the podcast and having like
pointing people to it, whichI've been able to write or going
.
come along on this ride and thenlook back to all of these other
guests who have been and reachout to them.

(01:07:57):
Their contact information isthere for you.
Reach out to them.
Reach out to them.
Their contact information isthere for you.
Reach out to them If you're inthis season of life where you're
ready to like get back on theproverbial train of working out.

Speaker 3 (01:08:07):
You know what?

Speaker 1 (01:08:07):
I mean Like there's a couple of people who have been
on the podcast that can reallyfit that bell for you, you know,
and that's just one of the manyexamples.

Speaker 3 (01:08:15):
I think, ultimately to where I mean.
I think we all have a place inthis world.
We all have a place here in theTwin Cities and we all have a
place within people's motherhoodand entrepreneurship experience
.
I think what's so beautiful,too, with the work that you get
to do is you're such a connectorright and when you get to meet

(01:08:35):
so many different individuals,so many different moms, so many
different business owners, thatconnection piece and that's been
something that, honestly, hasbeen a huge driving force in our
business.
And I have spent hours andhours networking, showing up in
rooms where maybe moments beforeI walked in, I thought do I
belong here?

(01:08:55):
Connecting with competitors,essentially, but knowing that at
the end of the day, everybodyhas a place and if you can just
own who you are and be authentic, we won't be the right doulas
for some people and that's okay,that's beautiful.
There are other doulas outthere that you can find the

(01:09:17):
right fit.
But what's great is when weshow up and are exactly who we
are, we also will find familiesthat say you're the perfect
doula for us A comment that I'vegotten throughout the last 10
years, which is kind of funnybut also I feel like has been.
The part of that that sets usapart is because the word doula

(01:09:38):
sometimes comes with this likewoohoo meeting, meaning of like,
are you like a hippienaturalist who only births
babies out in the wilderness?
I've always said like we'rekind of mainstream meets
physiological birth, right, likeI have always said and not
every doula practices this wayand that's okay I want it to

(01:10:01):
feel like you have one of yourbest friends in that room with
you.
We just happen to have theexperience and the knowledge and
education.
But I want it to feel supercomfortable, I want it to feel
super intimate.
I want you, I want your husband, I want your family to
appreciate and love that.
We are there and some peopleare seeking that, especially

(01:10:23):
those who say, like man, I wantto give birth in a hospital
because that's where I feelsafest and I do desire an
epidural.
Do I deserve a doula?
And we're like oh my gosh honey.
Yes, like everybody deserves adoula and there is no wrong way
to birth a baby, and we shouldalways be encouraging instead of
judging and saying what alignswith you as a mom, like I don't

(01:10:47):
care what Judy next door does, Idon't care how Jill birthed her
baby, what do you desire, whatspeaks to you, where's your why,
what aligns with your values,and then I'm going to be the
person in the corner advocatingfor that, without judgment and
without fear-based information.
And so I've always felt, likewe've kind of been this, like

(01:11:10):
I'm, like I'm like the biggesttalker, the loudest person.
Can you envision me in a birthspace?
Some people might say no, butthis is where, like you, there
can be and I can be the talkerwho's loud and obnoxious at a
party with, like you know,giggling with girlfriends and
networking because I love that.
But then I can also be, youknow, really quiet in a birth

(01:11:30):
space.

Speaker 1 (01:11:32):
Yeah, all the things that, when you're in that space,
frankly are like what you'reseeking.
Yeah, absolutely so.

Speaker 3 (01:11:41):
I just feel like I shouldn't say that.

Speaker 1 (01:11:42):
I mean, that was a little bit of a broad stroke.
There probably are people andmaybe you've encountered this
like they want the music blaring?

Speaker 2 (01:11:50):
Yes, we sure have, we do, and we love all of it.

Speaker 1 (01:11:53):
Whatever?

Speaker 2 (01:11:53):
you love, we love too .
I say that all the time.
I'm like you want Twinklelights up.

Speaker 1 (01:12:06):
Bring.
You want twinkle lights up,bring them, I'll put them up.
I will put them on Taylor Swift.
You want Taylor Swift?
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
The adaptability right, yeah,and it's like I don't and I love
that too, that you're speakingto this like it's about the mom,
mom-to-be and the, the couplethat are about to have their
first experience, or second orthird or whatever you know,
whatever child it is thatthey're on.
It's about them, yes, it's aboutwhat are their needs in that

(01:12:27):
moment, and it's not pushing anagenda which I think you know.
Frankly, I'm sure that there'sbeen a handful, if not more,
women who are listening rightnow where they felt like that
was they needed to be a specificway or act a specific way, or
it needed to go just like so, orthey had to have a birthing

(01:12:50):
plan or this or that or how comemy friend was able to do x, y
or z and I couldn't that wassomething that when I first had
Mackenzie kind of comparing tomy girlfriend who had this
really straightforward, you know, pretty fast ish first birth
compared to my story it was likeright away, like maybe going

(01:13:10):
back to this, like catty, likecompetitiveness of like why,
Like what's wrong with me?

Speaker 3 (01:13:15):
And it took becoming a doula and like really kind of
having these heart to heartconversations with myself of
like, no, like that wasMackenzie's story, that was
exactly how it was supposed togo, my body did really great
work, and so I just I wanteverybody to know that's
listening, that doulas are notkind of this one size fits all,

(01:13:40):
and if you have heard that,that's just a misconception.
And so we are really out herenot only supporting families but
making sure to continue toeducate, to let families know
that it's your agenda, we meetyou where you're at, we educate,
we support, we advocate, butthat it's not just this one type

(01:14:00):
of birth that deserves support.

Speaker 1 (01:14:03):
That was so good.
That was so good I I completelyforgot to ask you guys this
question.
It's a very simple one, and Iask it right out the gate, um,
but I think it's important forthe listeners to know like how
it is that we got connected.
It wasn't just out of thin airthat it happened.
Do you remember how and whoconnected us?

(01:14:23):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:14:27):
I don't I do?

Speaker 3 (01:14:29):
I'm looking to Nikki because she's my brain in these
moments.

Speaker 2 (01:14:32):
So it was through someone that you met.
Was it hockey related?
No, no, that's not true.

Speaker 3 (01:14:41):
Okay, remind us That's's not true as soon as you
say it I'll jump for joybecause I'll remember courtney
tanaka yes, with her new mptlove her.
Oh my god, courtney, we loveyou she was like she was kind of
that type of person like when Imet nikki, like we literally
met her and we were like we loveyou.

Speaker 2 (01:14:58):
We sat on the floor, we were at a networking event
where we're supposed to betalking to everyone but then cut
to the three of us sitting onthe floor just like
chit-chatting about when we'regonna have happy hour and coffee
the next time she's incredible,an amazing connector she is.

Speaker 1 (01:15:14):
She has now become my physical therapist.
She's great.
We so real quick.
Courtney and I met each otherwhen I was in a very different
stage of life.
I was single, I was single, Iwas dating somebody.
It was a toxic relationship tobe frank, and and Courtney met
me at a wedding and thisindividual was with me at that

(01:15:37):
wedding.
So when I say Courtney saw avery different side of me, she
saw a very different side of me.
It was party central.

Speaker 2 (01:15:44):
Well, she thinks the world of you she does.

Speaker 1 (01:15:46):
I think the world of her, though too Fast forward to
last fall.
She reached out to me we hadconnected with each other on
Facebook during the wedding, Ithink, years and years ago and
have just kind of, you know,like watch each other's lives
transition and change ever sinceshe reaches out to me last year

(01:16:08):
, last fall, and she was like Isee that you're doing this
podcast.
I just like went out on my ownfor physical therapy.
As a physical therapist, Can wesit down and have coffee?
And I was like sure, why not?
And we did, and I was like, hey, let's get you on the podcast.
I would also love for you tojoin the mastermind group.
I've like picked out a few oflike the first few guests that

(01:16:30):
have been on the podcast.
These are gals who I love, love, love dearly, and we have a
mastermind group that goes onevery single week and I was like
come be a part of it, becauseyou just started your business.
You got to feed off of thesewomen and we're doing all these
things together and I'm like Ilove it.
It's so incredible.
But then she you want to talkabout being you were like

(01:16:51):
pointing me out being theconnector.
I'm like she's been connectingme to some incredible women in
the space that you ladies are in.
So you know, the lactationspecialist I think I connected
you ladies with this gal Mama,be Nourished.
Kristen Brickle right, kristenBrickle, who I want to have on
the podcast.

(01:17:12):
And then you know, and then sheconnected me to you ladies, and
here we are.
She's just amazing.
She's a gem all around.
I've enjoyed continuing to likehear her evolution and story
with her business, how she'sreally transforming through all
of it, and then having her comeand work on my body, which has

(01:17:35):
just like the residual impactthat we as women have after
giving birth, like during thatduring pregnancy and carrying,
like I think this is something Ijust want to tap into real
quick, if that's okay.

Speaker 2 (01:17:48):
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 (01:17:49):
Yeah, bear with me please, but, like, when you are
pregnant and you're carrying ina specific way, whether it be
twins or just one, like ourbodies do a massive shift.
Yes, and that residual impactis something that I have felt
and it's years later and I'mlike what is happening?
Like I don't have the strengththat I used to when I'm doing my

(01:18:11):
strength training.
I don't feel like my body isshifting the way that it used to
in terms of that strengthtraining.
I need to go and see achiropractor yeah, desperately,
but she has been sotransformative in like going,
you don't have to stretch sohard, you don't have to do all

(01:18:31):
of these things that, liketraditionally, people are
telling you you have to like bemore tender and nurturing with
your body, and I'm like, wow,yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:18:41):
Wow, wow, wow.

Speaker 2 (01:18:41):
Wow, no, I think that's really important for
listeners to hear too.
That again, with this wholelike stream that we're talking
about with evolution, is thatjust again, the way that you may
have been gentle and kind withyourself 20, 10 years ago looks
very different now.
I would tell a funny story, butI'm not going to get into that.

Speaker 1 (01:19:03):
No, tell the funny story no but you know what I'm
saying.

Speaker 2 (01:19:05):
When you're like 22 years old and you can like eat
Taco.

Speaker 3 (01:19:08):
Bell like three times a day.

Speaker 1 (01:19:11):
What's your kryptonite?

Speaker 2 (01:19:12):
Oh, thousand percent, Taco Bell Come on.

Speaker 1 (01:19:15):
What's your kryptonite, steph?
Taco Bell, taco Bell, ladies, Imean, I've even thought about
if anybody watched Love is Blind.

Speaker 3 (01:19:22):
I've even thought about the tattoo, you know?
Yes, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 2 (01:19:27):
I don't matter.

Speaker 3 (01:19:28):
Okay, did you watch?

Speaker 2 (01:19:29):
Love is Blind, minneapolis Okay, well, first of
all catch up on that, Thenwe'll go get matching tattoos
together the next time that wesee each other in our lips.
But do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 (01:19:38):
It's so I do that and then like being gentle with
myself.

Speaker 2 (01:19:41):
The next day I'm like , oh my gosh, I'm gonna have
like one glass of water.
I am so healthy and amazingright now, like no kidding, so I
am giving myself so muchself-care and so gentle.
But yeah, so that's what I'msaying, like I just think like
I'm, you know, rolling with howthis goes and like shifting and
moving and learning more aboutyour body becoming really in

(01:20:03):
tune with your body.
So I love Courtney's messageabout that and her approach to
her care with women of justeverything is okay, low impact
is okay, like you don't have todo what you did five years ago.
But I was also going to sayabout Courtney she's a great
example of the people and theprofessionals that we work with

(01:20:24):
and, going back to this, we meetpeople where they're at,
everyone that we partner with orwork with or refer to right.
Like there is no.
People ask me all the time ifI'm interviewing a new client
and they want to know what'syour approach to birth.
Yeah, and I literally look atthem.
I'm not even joking, I'm likeknow what's your approach to
birth?
Yeah, and I literally look atthem.
I'm not even joking, I'm likewell, my approach to birth is
your approach to birth so goodand so, whether you're a birth

(01:20:47):
doula, whether you are aninterior designer, whether you
are a construction worker orwhatever, it is right.
I think that's what people areseeking.
Yeah, they're seekingvalidation.
They're seeking that they'renot doing it wrong, that they
don't have the wrong ideas.
There's something out there forevery professional.

(01:21:08):
That's why you hire people.
You hire people for theirexpertise, but to speak your
language, to know that you'renot ridiculous for asking for
maybe you want giant goldcolumns on the front of your
doorstep, I don't know.
I mean, but maybe there's likea different way to do that, but
like just validating.
You know, this is my vibe, thisis my, these are my values,

(01:21:30):
this is what's important to me,and being able to mirror that
but then turn the dial up on theeducation, the expertise piece,
that's what people are lookingfor.
Let's just be honest.

Speaker 3 (01:21:41):
Well, and I have to say again, what we do here,
specifically at how To Mom, is,of course, support women in
labor, but it is so, so muchmore than that, because, in a
society where we are overflooded with information and
ways of doing things and theright way and the wrong way in

(01:22:02):
this very like extremist typeworld is, although we're talking
about birth, where I feel likeso lit up is we are teaching
women to listen to their bodies,but also to listen to their
intuition, because that is goingto help them in motherhood way

(01:22:24):
more than any product, way morethan any service, is what is
your gut telling you?
Does that feel right, does thatalign?
And if not, we're not doingthat right.
It's like this world of ticktock.
It's like, well, so-and-so, dothat, did this, and then there's
this product and this thing,and it's like this overabundance
of information, where then wethen are letting women doubt

(01:22:46):
anything that is inside of them.
And so, during birth, I amleaning in, and there's a
specific client that I'mthinking of who is a single
mother by choice, went throughIVF and a lot of twists and
turns occurred in her pregnancyand her birth, but I sat down
with her during our postpartumvisit and she looked at me and

(01:23:07):
she said, stephanie, so manypeople talk about this mother
intuition and I never felt itand I never thought I had it and
I never thought I would.
And she said this birth taughtme that I have this intuition
and now I feel like I can.
I can move forward inmotherhood.
And we literally both cried andI was so happy to not only

(01:23:29):
witness that but to support andencourage her to say, like I
don't care what coworkers oryour sister or how anybody birth
, what does your intuition tellus?
What feels right in your body?
And it was.
It's just like that's, it's somuch more than being at their
birth right.
Like what we get to do is somuch more than that, like

(01:23:51):
physical, in-person support.
We get to be on this motherhoodjourney with families to say
you're enough.

Speaker 1 (01:23:59):
Would you say it's impact?
I hope so.
Me too, I hope so I feel likeit's impact.
I hope so.
I think that impact can lookdifferent.
Right, and you speak to thestory that you just shared.
Right, and it's a cliff noteversion of that story, but that,

(01:24:21):
that specific moment where youshared with her, like, just
trust your gut, listen to yourintuition.

Speaker 3 (01:24:29):
I believe in you.

Speaker 1 (01:24:30):
I believe in you.
That had an impact on her andit planted a seed, and so I
think, to my point, impact canlook so different and I think a
lot of women who are in thisentrepreneurial space do want to
have impact.
For sure, and I think a lot ofus also think impact has to mean

(01:24:54):
something huge, like I'mimpacting thousands upon
hundreds upon millions of people.
No, impacting thousands uponhundreds upon millions of people
, no, it could be impacting thatone person and then that impact
that you left for that womanhow is she turning around and
then having a conversation withanother?

Speaker 2 (01:25:11):
woman going.

Speaker 1 (01:25:12):
Hey, I I had this incredible conversation with my
doula and I'm going to tell youtrust your gut, listen to your
intuition, the ripple effect,butterfly effect.

Speaker 3 (01:25:25):
What is it Like?

Speaker 1 (01:25:26):
something to that, to that nature, right, but oh,
it's so good.
All right, ladies, we have hada lot of like conversations and
I think it's time to startlanding the plane.
I wish that we could talk forlanding the plane.
Yes, I wish that we could talkfor hours and hours and hours.

Speaker 3 (01:25:43):
I mean, we could we could, we could.

Speaker 2 (01:25:45):
That's the audio book .

Speaker 1 (01:25:47):
Round two, round two We'll schedule it, but I do want
to start to land the plane.
Yeah Gosh, where do I want togo with this?
I think I want to go at thisdirection with us.
I think I want to go at thisdirection.
Harmonizing is like.
I don't love the word balance,and you may have listened to
other episodes where I sharethat.

(01:26:09):
I don't know if there's evertrue balance when it comes to
motherhood and entrepreneurship.
I think that there's someharmonizing that can happen.
Agreed, was there ever a I?
And I want to.
I want to have it be, since,going into this entrepreneurial
space while also caring for andbeing a mother, has there been a

(01:26:34):
dark moment for you that youcould share with the listeners
and how you worked through it,steph?

Speaker 3 (01:26:50):
Well, I know that you're asking for a time during
my business years of growingthis business, but I think it's
most important to talk about themonths leading into starting
how To Mom After becoming a momto Mackenzie, which, again my
whole life I had envisionedbecoming a mom.
We had put a lot of time, a lotof money into our fertility
journey, but motherhood did notcome natural to me, which was so

(01:27:13):
surprising.
I was so overwhelmed by it andI completely lost myself.
I was in a very dark placewhere you know like when you're
tired, but like that level offatigue where it's like I don't
know if I can get out of bed.
Today, and it was because I wasreally unhappy in my career.
I felt like I'd worked so hardto have this child that I was

(01:27:37):
only seeing once you know onehour, two hours a day, that I
was only seeing once you knowone hour, two hours a day, and I
just thought there would, therehad to be more to life than
what I was living and so, truly,how to mom saved me.

Speaker 1 (01:27:51):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:27:51):
Yeah, it could have looked very different my
marriage, my life, who I am as amom.
So that for sure was a reallydark time.
I think Nikki came into my lifeat the perfect timing because I
think after this issue that Ihad with a potential partner was

(01:28:13):
a really dark time too, and Iquestioned a lot of who I am of,
like I shared too much I, I'mtoo open, I'm too trusting, and
it almost changed who I was.
But Nikki saved me because Iwas able to continue being
vulnerable and being open,because that's who I am and
that's what I do, and I didn'twant my experiences to have such

(01:28:37):
a negative effect that Ichanged who I was.
And I've had this conversationwith my husband so many times
about business and like beingbusiness savvy and I'm like
literally what I do is emotional.
It's always going to be a partof the business, it's always
going to be a part of theconversation, and so those dark
moments have definitely helpedpush me and grow, but also, at

(01:29:02):
the same time, a reminder ofstaying true to myself.

Speaker 1 (01:29:07):
I literally was just thinking how sad would it have
been to go a different directionwith your business and with
that potential partner and seeevery fiber of who you are,
shift and change, and not not ina way that would honor you and

(01:29:28):
help you lean into who you trulyauthentically are.
Ooh, scary for sure.
Ooh, nikki, would you like toweigh in?

Speaker 2 (01:29:39):
Yes, uh, I again, because Steph and I have lived
parallel lives before knowingeach other.
Motherhood did not comenaturally to me either.
I have to be really honest, andI think it's important for
anyone out there listening justbecause we're birth doulas and
I'm a birth doula does not meanthat I had this magical,

(01:30:00):
mystical experience when myfirst baby was born, um.
So I really struggled withpostpartum depression and I also
struggled with.
You know this was 15 years ago,which isn't that long ago, but
even then resources were light.
Um and so, again, I leaned on mycommunity quite a bit, um to
get through that, and soactually the thought of having

(01:30:22):
another child really scared me.

Speaker 3 (01:30:23):
Um, I knew.

Speaker 2 (01:30:24):
I wanted to but, um, it scared me a lot.
So, um, my second experiencereally kind of showed me a
little bit of a differentexperience, and not giving shame
to um, uh, postpartum with myfirst by any means, but that was
really hard.
It was a hard five years, Iwould say, raising my two girls
right out of the gate.

(01:30:45):
And then I think you know,alluding to it before too just
being at this crossroads of mycareer, my life, who am I
questioning everything that I'vedone up until now?

Speaker 3 (01:30:55):
And so, yeah, I think dark, darkish for me.

Speaker 2 (01:30:57):
And so, yeah, I think dark, darkish for me leading up
to joining Stephanie with howTo Mom and deciding that this
was the direction that I wasalways meant to go.
I just had to be really patientand patience can be hard when
you're in the thick of it and, Ithink, learning to surrender Um

(01:31:20):
, we talk a lot about that withclients um, because you know,
Kelly, that birth is really grayum labor, everything.
Pregnancy is very gray.

Speaker 1 (01:31:30):
There's a lot of unknown, so we have a lot of
type A women out there and sojust personally accepting
surrender that I'm not.

Speaker 2 (01:31:41):
I can't force everything, I just have to allow
some things to come naturally.
So, coming out of that sort ofdark gray cloud.
Um, in that sense, felt reallygood meeting Stephanie and
joining this mission.

Speaker 1 (01:31:54):
I love it.
Ladies, so beautiful.
Thank you for sharing thosemoments.
Moments, plural, so beautiful.
I would love to hear what's apiece of advice that you would
give a younger version ofyourself, knowing all that you
know now.
I want to start with Steph.

Speaker 3 (01:32:14):
Yeah, and this actually came from not only a
client who I've been able tosupport twice, but also she was
a team member of ours for awhile and I interviewed her on
our podcast and that's aquestion I often ask them to
answer or, you know, to giveadvice to.
You know, those moms that arelistening today that might be

(01:32:37):
really fearful of what's to comein motherhood, and she left us
with use your voice, even whenit shakes, and I will never,
ever forget it.

Speaker 1 (01:32:51):
You can't unhear it.
No, you can't unhear it.
No.
Oh, that's good, nikki.

Speaker 2 (01:33:01):
What would I tell younger Nikki?
Honestly, I think I would tellmyself trust myself.
I mean going back to this talkabout intuition and no one, ever
really in my life I didn'treally have an experience where
I witnessed somebody trustingthemselves.

(01:33:21):
I didn't really have anexperience where I witnessed

(01:33:44):
somebody trusting themselves,even if they fell, and I think
that was a big part of it is.
I can always I think about whenI moved out on my own for so
afraid to make this huge leapwith my comfy, weighted blanket
of corporate life and everythingthat came with it.
I can always go back.
There's always something elseout there, there's always
something.
And my personality I've neverlet anything fall down.
I'll figure it out.
So I think I would tell myselfjust just trust, just trust, so

(01:34:06):
beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:34:10):
Okay, so on the heels of advice.
What's a piece of advice thatyou would give?
Ooh, I want to shift how Inormally ask this question.
What's a piece of advice thatyou would give a woman who might
be sitting in that that, likemoment of for lack of better
words, ick Stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:34:34):
In terms of motherhood or in terms of
business, or both.
Both Do it scared.
Do it scared, yeah, or both.
Both do it scared.
Do it scared, yeah, I don'tknow.
I that I feel like maybe Ishould have a little bit more of
like a story, but it just do itscared no, that's?

Speaker 1 (01:34:54):
so amazing.
How about you, nikki?

Speaker 2 (01:34:57):
yeah, I mean, I don't know that I have anything
better than that, honestly, justmaybe find your people yeah,
that's good.
Yeah, you know, do it, scaredwith them, let them let you like
, let them hold the giantparachute while you jump.
Yeah, find your people to dothat.

Speaker 1 (01:35:15):
Yeah, agreed.
So incredible ladies.
This has been so fun.
It's been literally so fun.
I was like okay, it's been ahot second, since I've had two
gals at the same time.
I got to get into this likedifferent kind of mode.
Yeah, but it's been so fun.
You ladies made it nice andeasy for me.
How can people get connected toyou?

(01:35:39):
Let's start with the businessin general and then individually
, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:35:45):
So our website is howtomomcom, but it's with the
number two, so howtomomcom.
We're also on Instagram andFacebook.
Um, we have all of ourincredible services and team
members listed on our website,as well as all of our courses.
Literally everything is rightthere, and I think it also

(01:36:09):
through the help of outsourcing,because that's a big topic in
entrepreneurship.
I think people can really get afeel for who we are and what it
is that we do with our website.
But, yes, also on social aswell Instagram and Facebook and
that is at HowToMom.

Speaker 1 (01:36:26):
Wonderful.
Do you want to share individual, how people can connect with
you individually?

Speaker 3 (01:36:33):
Yeah, sure, I am also on Instagram.
Oh, my goodness, what's myhandle?
Nikki, I think it's Stephanieat HowToMom.

Speaker 2 (01:36:44):
Yeah, I think it's Stephanie.
We'll link it below, that'sfine.

Speaker 1 (01:36:49):
Clearly I'm on my business account way more than I
am on my personal.

Speaker 2 (01:37:02):
But we show up to with birth and all things labor,
but also some just realisticfunny real life like real life
stuff.
So whether it's a video or ameme, or like one of our kids
doing something totally bananas,um, or celebrating some cool
stuff, like I mean, you'll findwhat.
You can pretty much findanything.
I'm also on Instagram.

(01:37:24):
This is Nikki for all thelisteners.

Speaker 1 (01:37:26):
I'm Nikki.

Speaker 2 (01:37:27):
I'm Dula Nikki Z on.
Instagram.
You'll find a lot of photos ofmy dog.
You'll find a lot of thingsthat I mean you have to.
You have to get the vibe.
So I totally respect if it'snot, but I'm pretty self
deprecating on my Instagram.

Speaker 1 (01:37:46):
Now I do want to ensure that I drop information
about your ladies podcast too.
So can you just drop a littlebit of information about what
the podcast entails?

Speaker 3 (01:37:57):
Yes, so our podcast is the mom to mom podcast Again,
the number two.
We are on all platforms.
Obviously, most of ourlisteners come through Apple.
We started the podcast.
Our first season really has amixture of birth stories and
interviewing the professionalsthat we work alongside and refer

(01:38:20):
to a lot kind of in this worldof birth and we are going to
continue to do those same things.
But we're also going to add inthis season kind of just these
really honest conversations withNikki and I kind of sitting
down and talking about somefunny, some frustrating things
that we might see in the birthspace, some typical

(01:38:43):
conversations we have with a lotof clients.
But yeah, it's the mom to mompodcast with how to mom.

Speaker 1 (01:38:50):
I love it.
Ladies, this has been such anhonor.
I feel like there's so muchmore that we could talk about.
We really true story.
Yes, but I think that really wetapped into the spaces that we
needed to, and it was awesome tofinally meet both of you in the
flesh.
So thank you for carving outtime to come Of course I knew we

(01:39:10):
had to do this in person.
Yes, thank you.
I'm so appreciative.

Speaker 2 (01:39:13):
It's fun trying to coordinate with three different
schedules, but we made it happenand I'm so appreciative and
before school's out In themiddle of May-cember y'all.
May-cember.
We're here, we're doing it.

Speaker 1 (01:39:26):
When this episode drops, it will have been a
couple months later, and that'sOK, you'll still remember.
You'll understand yes.

Speaker 2 (01:39:34):
We made it through everyone.

Speaker 1 (01:39:36):
We did yes.

Speaker 3 (01:39:38):
Oh my gosh, and I just want to say thank you to
your listeners.
I know, obviously, um, birth isnot a common topic on all of
your episodes, but I think itreally relates to motherhood and
small businesses and, and justknow that, like we are here, we
can be a part of your village, apart of your community.
That doesn't mean that you'relike on the lookout for a doula.

(01:39:59):
Maybe you've already birthedyour babies.
We would still love everyone tojoin and be a part of our
community and just know thatwe're here to support all stages
of motherhood and, um, it justwas a pleasure speaking with all
of you today oh, that, that wasa nice little drop.

Speaker 1 (01:40:16):
I loved it so much.
Ladies, I hope that you have anincredible day again.
My honor to have you here,thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:40:23):
Thanks for the platform to do this.
Have a great day.
Bye.

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Ep. 60 with Stephanie Sinclair & Nikki Zweber | How2Mom

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 60 with Stephanie Sinclair & Nikki Zweber | How2Mom