Ep. 66 with Ashley Hawks | Founder, Soar Groups - Reclaiming Your Hue: A Podcast for Women Rediscovering Themselves in Motherhood & Entrepreneurship

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome everybody to Reclaiming your Hue, where we
are dedicated to empoweringwomen to embrace and amplify
their inherent brilliance.
Our mission is to inspiremothers and entrepreneurs to
unlock their full potential andradiate their true selves.
I'm your host, kelly Kirk, andeach week, my goal is to bring
to you glorious guests as wellas solo episodes.

(00:33):
So let's dive in.
Good morning, ash Good morning.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
How are you so good.
Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
You're so welcome.
I'm honored and so happy.
I know that we've met only oneother time and it was ironically
at the reclaiming your hueanniversary event, which was
just so incredible, and thankyou for your generous gift.
I appreciate it party um, butto see you in person again.
First and foremost, you're a Ilove the color that you're

(01:05):
wearing right now.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
I tried to do pink.
This is as close as we couldget.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Did um.
Did you ever do like a coloranalysis thing?

Speaker 2 (01:13):
where I want to there's a gal in town that does
it.
I'll send you her name.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
Have you?
I'm like dangerously close tohaving this done.
So I just actually had a gal onwho she's a stylist and she
doesn't.
She doesn't promote that.
She does the color analysisstuff, but she's like she had
mentioned it when I interviewedher for the podcast and I was
like, hey, tell me a little bitmore about this Cause.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
I think I've got a.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
I've got a good pulse on it, but anyways, the reason
I bring it up cause this is notabout me, it's about you is this
is a great color for you.
Well, thank you, it's just sofantastic.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
I love it.
I have to admit I don'tunderstand the whole color
theory.
I know it's a thing and I knowpeople are into it.
I just I haven't quite figuredout, like my brain is too, I
think like numbers, logical tounderstand, but it's fun the
woo-woo around it.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Well, I'll tell you a little bit more once I like
actually go through the process,and then maybe there will
actually be some like definitiveanalytical stuff behind it too.
So stay tuned, that'll nerd out.
Stay tuned, all right, firstthing first.
Before we dive into the meatand potatoes, as I like to say,
I would love for you to sharewith the listeners how it is
that the two of us got connected.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
Oh my gosh.
Well, your name first came onmy radar through Instagram you
found me on.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Instagram, even before you met my husband and it
was very serendipitous you andyour husband were.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
you guys are in the real estate space, mine's in the
mortgage space.
You guys met.
He insisted that, oh my gosh,you have to meet my wife.
Our energies and you know justour the way our brains go a
million miles an hour.
And I think the first thing you, you did when you looked me up
was oh my gosh, we alreadyfollow each other and we had
never met.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
So and then just like to piggyback off of that.
So Constantina Waters, who Imet um at the very tail end of
last year.
I've been connected with hersince then and I had I noticed
that she had been to I think itwas the Minneapolis St Paul
Business Journal.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
The Women in Leadership.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yes, Yep that, and she had posted a picture with
you and then just mentioned someof the awards that you've
received and I was like who isthis woman?
I must know who she is.
So that's how I startedfollowing you and then enter,
mitch, the serendipitous momentof going like yeah, yeah, for

(03:35):
sure.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
So I just love it.
The only person in this townthat knows more people than I do
.
I swear I love her.
And she's a great connectorright, you know, as soon as you
you you mention something, orman, I'm looking for this or I'm
working on that, she goes.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
I've got someone for you I want to introduce and she
does, she follows through on it.
She's great she, she absolutelydoes.
She's had said, leaving herelast week, she's like I've got
like I don't know no short offive, maybe ten people that I
could get you introduced to, soyou just let me know when you
wrote down a name that I want tointroduce you to.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
That's why I carry a notebook with me everywhere.
My brain goes too fast.
I can't remember everything.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
I love it.
Well, and I love too when Mitchmade the introduction for us
and we scheduled the time to hopon a quick phone call which
ended up taking I think it waslike I shouldn't say taking like
I so enjoyed our conversationand I wanted it to continue, but
I think it was like what?
Almost almost two hours.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Yeah, an hour and a half, and we joked.
We're like we should have beenrecording this, like this should
have been the podcast.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
I know.
So maybe we can end up pullingout some of what we had talked
about then.
But yeah, I just thoroughlyenjoyed that.
And the reason that I bring upthat conversation is because you
literally had made a note oflike maybe you remember this
when there's some people who areliterally like stuck back here

(04:58):
on this particular failure andI'm paraphrasing, right you, the
way that your brain works islike you're literally already on
to the next business plan orthe next business plan and
you're like you've built that upwhile somebody might still be
sitting back here kind ofwallowing.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Ready, shoot aim.
I love it.
Yeah, most people are ready aim, ready aim.
And I even shared with you likeI run into this problem too,
where I try to have everythingperfect, I think most
entrepreneurs are perfectionistsand we're a little OCD
sometimes, but I think the worsttrap you can get caught in is
this ready aim mentality.

(05:36):
And you have to have.
I met with a gal a couple ofweeks ago.
She has this great businessidea.
She reached out, she wants somementoring and I'm letting her
talk and she's sharing all theseideas and she's hiring a
business coach and she's workingwith this.
You know this money person andshe's now getting a loan and
she's doing all this stuff.
And I said, well, what is afterall this?
What, what's the name of yourbusiness?
Well, um, well, I don't havethat yet.

(06:01):
Okay, well, you know, just like, go out, have you made any?
So she's making jewelry.
I said have you?

Speaker 1 (06:05):
made any jewelry.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
Well, no, not yet, because I have to get you know
the Shopify and I've got to youknow, do this.
And I actually have to go toschool to figure out how to make
the.
And I said why do you have togo to school to make the jewelry
, like you've got the designs?

(06:33):
there's people out's, there'sthis fear and I think sometimes
we, we call it perfectionism but, really it's, it's fear of
failure and it's procrastination, but we mask it as this pretty
like oh, it has to be perfect,ready aim.
But, like you said, the truthis, if I can go out and I can

(06:54):
shoot and I can sell, and I canfigure out what people are
liking and what's not working,and testing five different
things, I may fail on all ofthose different things, but I'm
learning so much and I'madjusting my aim at each point.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
So, while you're figuring out your logo, I've
already, you know, made a couplethousand dollars in sales, and
it literally was, and again,that's a, that's a paraphrase of
it, but I I loved how you werejust like, as, as you're sitting
back here wallowing or tryingto figure this out, I've already
done X, y, z, and I think thatthat's just so indicative of,

(07:28):
like the essence of a trueentrepreneur.
Right, there are these littlesetbacks that are going to end
up happening, but it's just howquickly can you move through it?
And the quicker that you can dothat, the better it's going to
be.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Well, you have to expect those set.
The better it's going to be.
Well, you have to expect thosesetbacks.
You are going to hit a challengeevery single day in some way,
shape or form.
Like we are, we'reentrepreneurs, we're business
owners.
The point of having a businessis to help somebody else's
problem and if you are expectingthings to be smooth sailing and
then a little blip or a speedbump comes up and your whole,
your whole plan is you know goesup in flames, expect, I grew up

(08:08):
in the wedding industry and Iwould tell my brides expect like
three to 10 things to go wrongon your wedding day.
No, I've planned and I've hireda planner and I've got a
coordinator and I've got this.
No, no, no.
But I mean you remember thingsare going to go wrong and if you
, you go into it that with thatmindset when something happens,
it happens, we deal with it, weroll with it.
But if you have planned andplanned and planned and nothing

(08:28):
can possibly go wrong, and onething goes wrong and it's going
to throw up your whole night,you spend the rest of the night
crying in the bathroom.
What a waste.
So you do have to roll with ityou do have to expect that
things are going to happen andand just go well here's another
learning opportunity.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah, you know put this in the book A hundred
percent.
Okay, I we're going to reallydive in deep to this, but before
, before we do so, I would lovefor you to also share what came
first for you.
Was it entrepreneurship or wasit motherhood?

Speaker 2 (08:58):
I think I've been an entrepreneur since I was a kid,
without even realizing it.
When you sent over thequestionnaire, I'm like oh my
gosh, I was.
I was taking deposits for treesdoor to door in my neighborhood
Cause I thought we needed toplant more trees, and I figured
out that if I could silly, mydad would make me put together a
business plan when I did alemonade stand.
So we lived on a cul-de-sac, soI couldn't do it at my house.

(09:18):
We were, you know, at the deadend.
I wanted to do it out where thetraffic was.
Well, he made me do a writtenletter to ask permission to use
their property to set up mystand.
And then I had to put togethermy plan.
He's like you're not using mycups and my ice and I'm buying
all the ingredients for you too.
So I had to put together onpaper, as like a kid you know,
probably the same age as ourboys to make sure that I was

(09:40):
making profit and to understandwell, if I bring in my brother
to help or one of the neighborkids, what am I going to pay
them?
How is that going to cut intomy profit?
And sometimes it took all thefun out of it.
It was like, well, I'm notgoing to make any money.
Yeah, you learned hard andquick.
But it also makes you a littlebit more guarded when you do
bring on somebody that's goingto help you out, because that's
half the money that I could havetaken home.

(10:00):
Am I going to get, you know,the expensive lemonade, or am I
going to get the lemonade that'son sale?
Like which packets am I goingto get.
So you start thinking about allthose little things as a bigger
picture versus just, you know,going into it with nothing can
go wrong.
Let's just get all the thingsand see what happens.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
What an incredible way to sort of kickstart
entrepreneurship for you.
Nothing better than having aparent model for you.
Exactly what that could looklike when both my parents were
entrepreneurs.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
My dad owned a law firm and my mother owned a
bridal shop.
So, and growing up kind of agirly girl, this was a dream to
go there after school.
That was the family business.
So we, we worked every day, um,and.
And so I learned firsthand fromthem what it looks like to, um,
not only do something you love,but really the importance of

(10:54):
doing something to serve othersand how much joy that can bring
you.
Yeah, if you go into it withthat mindset versus how much
money am I going to make?
Versus you know what kind ofstuff can I buy, you're doing
something that you love, you'remaking other people happy,
you're solving a problem forsomebody.
So much more fun, there's somuch more value.

(11:14):
Like, as humans, we aredesigned to feel like we
contribute to society.
Right, if you are justconsuming all day long without
giving anything back, after awhile you're going to feel very,
very empty.
We are hardwired to feel likewe are part of something, that
we are needed, that we arevaluable, that we're
contributing.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Isn't that the truth?
Ooh, I think there is somethingto be said to when there's this
, um, when you start to get intothis mindset of woe is me or
the world, is this, and howcould it get any better?
The quick and easy cure forthat is to go and serve, whether

(11:59):
it's, you know, like donatingyour time to support others,
like support a nonprofit, orjust like do highway cleanup for
God's sakes, like I'm just I'mactually rattling off some of
the ways that we've actuallyserved our community and given
back.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
Feed my starving children.
Yeah, That'll, that'll, youknow.
Put, put your mind in the rightplace.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
But the reason that I bring that up is it's literally
in tandem and in parallel towhat you're talking about, with
how we as humans are hardwiredto be in a village, in a
community and to serve and tohave a deeper sense of purpose
Other than.

(12:41):
How do I make money?
How do I generate revenue?
How do I do this?
How do I generate revenue?

Speaker 2 (12:48):
How do I do this?
How do I serve myself?
The serving of self can be verydetrimental.
I was really intentional,especially when they were little
, to never use the phrase whatdo you want to be, Because
that's a very selfish thing.
I want to be a cowboy, I wantto be an astronaut, I want to be
a ballerina.
Instead, we say how do you wantto serve people?
What do you like to do?
What?
What kind of gifts do you havethat can help others?

(13:10):
And so it's reframed theirthinking of.
You know, my daughter lovesjewelry and beading and making
little little things that youcan wear right.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
I have my bracelets on and that she made.
Are these the?

Speaker 2 (13:21):
T-Swift ones, or did she just?
Make them we've been doingthese long before, like she got
into this yeah.
So these are my, my little mombracelets, my daily reminder,
because, you know, sometimes Iforget I have kids.
I know it's, it's terrible.
Okay, there's got to besomebody else out there where
you are, like in the groove inthe office, and all of a sudden
somebody asked if you want to goto happy hour.
You're like, yeah, happy hoursounds awesome.

(13:42):
And then, like five and it'snot a long time, you forget you
have kids.
But you know, like a minute ortwo you go nope, nope, I have
kids, they're at school.
I need to get my kids, like you.
Just it's a moment.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
I can empathize with you on that wholeheartedly, I
know.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
Wholeheartedly Judge if you want, but we've all been
there but yeah, there's nojudgment here.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
I literally gave you a prime example of the event
that I was at last night and Iwas like, oh, I'm going to grab
no, I'm not going to grabanother glass of wine.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
We spend more time being non-moms than we have
being moms.
So I'm still.
I tell my daughter all the timelike cause, she's 12.
So we get into it sometimes andI remind her.
I'm like I'm new at this, Ihave never been a mom before
Like I am figuring this out tooRight.
And as soon as you figure itout with the nine-year-olds,
then they turn 10 and you'relike, ah, I've never had a

(14:28):
10-year-old before.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
This is different.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
This is a whole new level I've never done level 10
before.
There's just a whole level ofpatience that we have to have
for each other.
Oh, my gosh, and it is.
It makes her laugh a little bitand she's like, okay, I remind
her.
Like okay, I remind her, likeI'm, I don't know what I'm doing
, I'm going to use that.
Yeah, I'm going to be a team.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
I'm going to use that with the boys.
Well, in my circumstance looksa little different with them,
cause I I entered their liveswhen they were, you know, um,
let's see four and six, and soit hasn't been that long that
I've been in their lives.
So it is to your point, ash.
It's like there's justdifferent levels that we, as
mothers, encounter as our, asour children start to age.

(15:17):
And then I've got Maddie, who'stwo and a half, and it's like
whoa, we are in the sass phaseright now and I'm like this is a
new revelation, not a great one, but we're just gonna breathe
through it and you learn so muchabout yourself through all of
it too.

Speaker 2 (15:34):
Sometimes, when I lose, all the time, when I lose
my temper, I try to go okay.
Why am I reacting to this?
Because I shouldn't, Ishouldn't be losing my temper
that you know she did something,or you know I asked 10 times
and they didn't do it and then Ilost my shit.
Why, what is going on inside ofme that I am reacting, that way
, yeah, there's there's a lot ofself-learning.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yes, there is Okay.
So all I keep thinking about isthe parallels of what we're
talking about right now, as itpertains to entrepreneurship as
well, because there is a lot ofself-development and growth.
I mean, speaking from the queenof like you've, you're
literally helping otherindividuals go through

(16:19):
self-development and grow andsoar.
I'm just going to drop that.
I love a good pun.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
I love a good pun.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
Yep, but I do think that there are those moments,
even in entrepreneurship, wherewe sort of hit this next level
and it requires a differentshift of our mindset and a
different like whoa, I've got it, I do have to change, I have to
evolve, I have to, I have tolike, form a different chrysalis

(16:49):
around me and sort of emerge asthis different kind of
butterfly through thisexperience.
It takes some breathing, ittakes some like like internal,
like all right, am I going to beable to do this?
Should I do this?
Can I do this?
I'm sure you've had thisconversation multiple times.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Just like parenting.
You know, we level up everyyear Same thing in
entrepreneurship.
Like there are all thesedifferent levels and I joke or I
say life is like a video gameall the time.
I was even talking about itthis morning.
Like we are characters in avideo game, like we are put in
this little character.
We get to choose how they dress, how they style their hair,
where they go, what they say,what they consume, how much they

(17:34):
exercise.
Like they're, I get to chooseeverything in my video game.
And when you think of thesedifferent levels that we go
through, just like a video game,the, the skills and the tools
that you collect in that firstlevel are going to help you on
the next level.
And there's a reason why youcan't get to that next level
until you perfect something thatyou were supposed to learn back

(17:55):
here.
Or you might, you know, meetsomebody.
Renee Rodriguez, you might meetsomebody and you go oh well,
this is a great relationshipthere's.
You know, maybe I don'tunderstand why we're meeting now
, but in the next level, oh mygosh, I needed that character.
What an amazing relationship tohave, because I need this
character now.
So, yeah, you're right,sometimes some, some levels suck
Some levels.

(18:16):
You're like, I've been in thislevel for too long.
God, I am, I am ready.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
Thank you, like that's fascinating that you
bring this up.
I was just some of my like ahamoments, or like true
thoughtfulness, come when I'm onmy walks and I had this kind of
profound moment of when I waswalking.

(18:40):
This literally was just a weekago and I'm walking and I'm
walking past our church, whichis not too far away from here,
and I remember like I had thisflashback of walking super early
in the morning.
It was winter time, so it wasdark and I was just I was in

(19:02):
that that shitty level, likeliterally that level of the
video game that you're speakingto.
It was just shitty.
And I remember like just havingthis pull towards our church
and I walked up to the churchand just put my hand on the wall
and I was like God, I literallyjust need, I need you, like I

(19:22):
need you and I need tounderstand why.
Why is this so hard right now?
And it was when I was in themortgage industry and I spoke to
that when we were on the phone.
But I was just like why, why isthis so hard and why am I like
continuing to put myself throughthis like vicious, like wheel,

(19:42):
this cycle?
And there was a breakthroughafter that.
It took a little bit.
But it was like not too longafter that that I finally was
like all right, we're done.
And like how do I begin thisprocess Seriously?
But I do think to your point.
When you start to lookbackwards at all of that stuff
in the moment, it doesn't makesense.

(20:04):
Why are we going through this?
Why am I meeting that person?
Why are we having thisconversation?
But we'll look back and be ableto connect the dots and go,
okay, that's the reason all ofthat happened.
It's projecting me thisdirection so that I can start a
podcast, do a coaching group orlike start a, start a business

(20:28):
based off of that, like this isthis is it?

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Okay, all right, in a pool as a kid and you'd you
know you play in the deep end.
And if you were still, youcould sink to the bottom and
then push the bottom.
And I had my.
I had my rock bottom a coupleof years ago and same thing.
You know where I'm going, god,like like a.
How did I get here?
I was mad at myself, how did Ilet this happen?
And really, looking back, itwas letting weeds grow in the

(20:53):
garden, right, I left my mindunattended.
And then all of a sudden you go, why is it full of wheat?
Well, because you, you weren'tintentional with what you were
thinking and what you were doingand what I was consuming and um
, and, and that was that was my,my rock bottom.
And I remember crying on thefloor of one of my friend's

(21:14):
offices just face down on hisfancy carpet, just snotty you
know, crying and I remembercrying like I miss her.
I miss.
I don't remember what her laughsounds like.
I can't remember the last timethat I I laughed or smiled.
I don't remember what beingsilly used to be so goofy and
weird and you know, just big andyou know I'm like giant and

(21:37):
tall and gangly, like I just was.
And I, I I didn't recognize theperson I become and I couldn't
figure out how to get out of it.
And it was.
It was just like being stilland being open to what God's
plan was for me and having goodpeople in my life and admitting
that everything wasn't perfect.
Right, because with socialmedia and LinkedIn and things,

(21:59):
and on paper, everything canlook wonderful and glamorous and
it's very scary to actuallyopen up and go no, the truth is,
I'm on the other end of thespectrum and things are not what
they seem.
And it was that that push downto the bottom of the pool in
order to come back up and dosomething, get out of that level
.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
I do speak to this very thing, but I I like to call
it the the ebbs and flows, orthe peaks and valleys that we
experience um, both inmotherhood and and
entrepreneurship, and I I lovethat you're starting to delve
into um those spaces, right,those, those valleys that you

(22:39):
went through.
Or to your point about sinkingto the bottom and hitting that
rock bottom and then going, okay, how do I, what's the?
Am I going to just sit here onthe bottom of the swimming pool
floor or am I going to go?

Speaker 2 (22:51):
All right, and it takes effort to push Yep.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
Time to time to get some air, time to get up and get
some air.
So I, I love that.
I okay, I want to take a stepback, ash, because you brought
up something so beautiful withum, how entrepreneurship really
started at a young age, and Iwant to kind of take a step back

(23:16):
moment in time, um, but forwardfrom that moment of the
lemonade stand.
So talk myself and thelisteners through when was when
did you really enter into thisentrepreneur space of like, all
right, I've got, I'm running myown business?
When did that start for you andwhat does it look like now?

Speaker 2 (23:41):
I had my first baby business when I was 22.
I started modelingprofessionally when I was 14 and
I had a wonderful career, gotto travel, learned a lot, saw
the good, the bad and the ugly,and saw a need.
Right, I saw there was a lotgoing on in the industry that I
didn't like.
I saw that people weren't beingtrained properly.

(24:05):
Right, just because you're atall, pretty girl doesn't mean
you can walk into an agency andgo here I am, and you're going
to be famous and they're goingto just send you all this money.
There's a skill that comes intothis, not just behind the camera
, but also yourself as abusiness.
Right, you are your ownindependent business and you are
out trying to get jobs.
But they weren't teachinganybody this, and so I wanted to

(24:27):
take what I had learned andteach these other girls that
wanted to get into the industryand tell them how to do it
properly Teach them the skills,teach them stage movement and
you know, teaching them lightingand angles, and I had great
people that had taught methroughout the years.
So that was my first business,learned a lot, got my butt
kicked so much.
But one of the biggest thingsthat I learned, right, you learn

(24:47):
something at each level whichthen helps you into the next.
The biggest thing that Ilearned was this wasn't scalable
, and I love numbers and whenbusiness is so easy, if you can
just put numbers on paper andthey're not complicated numbers
either.
People like this is justaddition, subtraction, couple,
multiplication.
You figure out.
Okay, if I'm charging this muchper hour and I have so many

(25:08):
hours in the week, even if I'mworking 10 hours a day, seven
days a week, the most I couldever make is this Well, that's
not very fun and there's acouple other things that changed
.
But what really set me on thepath of entrepreneurship was
when I helped grow a companycalled Forever Bride.
It was in 2002.
It was this new idea that wasgoing to change how wedding

(25:31):
businesses interacted, usingthis thing called the internet
and social media and YouTube andwe created what now we would
call Reels, but back then therewas no Instagram, it was just
YouTube, and we would make thesevideos explaining you know who
you are.
We'd go into a bakery, we'dmeet with Susie and Susie tell
us a little bit about Susie'sbakery and we do these cute

(25:52):
little videos.
Um, but that's really wherewhere I learned so much about um
, myself and customers, but,most importantly, sales.
Right, going back to the, theready aim, it didn't matter how
perfect our website was or ourlogo or anything else If we
didn't have sales, if we didn'thave people out there talking

(26:15):
and closing deals and bringingin money.
That is the lifeblood of anyorganization and I will argue
all day long like that needs tobe your number one focus every
single day.
Yep, you don't take a day offto just, you know, go and work
on some other things or decoratethe office Like your.
Your primary focus is sales.
No business ever failed becausethey had too many sales.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
I love that.
No, it's so true.
It's so so true.
Okay, so that was back in 2002,uh, 2012, 2012.
Sorry.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
Yeah, and then, uh, 10 years later, um, you know, we
grew it and it was, oh, I lovedit so much, it was so much fun.
We had a podcast and we did awedding fair at the mall of
America twice a year and we didall kinds of events.
It was very focused around.
We had two customers, right, wehad the brides that used our,
our services and our website andour social, and then we had the
wedding businesses.

(27:07):
And that's really where myheart was growing up in the
bridal shops and how hard it wasfor my mom to make the
transition from the yellow pagesto now websites a whole new
world.
Um, so we hosted these thingscalled monthly mingles, where we
would bring in a guest speakerto teach on different business
related topics, because it was aunique customer, right, you
have someone who loves flowers.

(27:28):
They're so good at flowers andthey love weddings, and so what
do they do?
They start a wedding floralbusiness and they're great at
flowers, but they don't know thefirst thing when it comes to
running a company.
So I was learning alongside ofthem, bringing people in,
learning about all thesedifferent topics, right, because
it's it's it's so importantthat you have those, those

(27:49):
fundamentals to not just beingreally good at what you're doing
, because I've seen a lot ofvery talented florists go out of
business because they couldn'thandle those, those foundational
building blocks.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yeah, building blocks .
Yeah, that is so fantastic.
So not only were you building abusiness, but you were helping
others, in relative to what youwere doing in business, build
their business, while you werealso learning how to structure
and build the business on top ofthat.

(28:21):
Oh yeah, that is so cool.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
And it doesn't matter how, how big or successful you
are, like we are always learning.
I mean, as soon as you havethis mindset of, like I'm here,
I'm done, like hey, I wantnothing to do with you, cause
that's just a weird mindset thatdoesn't make sense to me but
there's there's always somethingthat we can, we can learn or
get better at, you know.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
I mean even with.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
SOAR.
I started a company a couple ofyears ago called SOAR and some
similar theme helping peoplegrow and become better versions
and mindset and community.
Um, but there there is havingthis, this right mindset of
growth, and not having it allfigured out.
You know if I came into this.
It was like I grew up in thewedding industry.
I know everything that it wouldnot have taken me as far as and

(29:06):
I still have so much to learn,and there's always, you know,
something new that I can learnfrom somebody else.
Being open, you don't have totake everybody's advice either.
You can, you know.
Just because you readsomebody's book doesn't mean you
have to agree with everythingthat they say.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
Oh, it's interesting, it's.
It took me a little bit of timeto get to that point too, where
I was like I don't have toliterally digest this book and
and have all of thatincorporated into what that next
level up is going to be.
I can take bits and pieces ofit.
It doesn't have to like I don'thave to wholeheartedly buy into

(29:43):
all of the stuff that this bookis telling me.
I don't have to.
I can go.
I'm going to leave that, butI'll take this.
I explain the book Tractionjust like that.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
We've talked about the book Traction and EOS.
I've heard of it.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
There's a great book called Traction, written by Gina
Wickman years ago.
It's become a little bit of acult following.
I've run all my companies onTraction, but I explain it like
that.
Traction is not a book that youjust read once and sat down and
go yep, I understand it and I,I, I no disrespect, but I
explain it like reading theBible, you would never read the

(30:23):
Bible cover to cover.
Put it back on the shelf and goyep, I read the Bible and I
understand everything in it.
And also, like the Bible, youwould never read everything in
it and implement all of thoseprinciples and ideas into your
life.
Make all of those changes likethat, like your brain would
explode and traction.
I explain this is the Bible forentrepreneurs.

(30:45):
So anybody listening, this isthe number one thing to buy and
read and mark it up and post it.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
Tries to grab a phone purchase it immediately.
Add to cart.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
I have it on Audible too, because it's really nice to
listen to it.
But, like the Bible, you digestit in little pieces Because,
again, your brain would melt outof your ears if you just tried
to do it cover to cover and samething, you almost get in these

(31:18):
like traction Bible studieswhere you work with other people
and you go what do you thinkabout this?
And you take time or you go backand reread a chapter and it'll
in helping grow my business.
The other big piece and Ishould get paid by traction to
be saying all this.
But another thing that I reallylike about it is, especially
for women, it takes the emotionout of running a business
because it makes everything very, very black and white.

(31:41):
These are the goals, these arethe rocks, this is where we're
going, these are our core values, which means this is how we're
getting to the goal.
And when you break it down intoyour activities and you have to
make a major decision hey, wegot invited to sponsor this big
event.
Okay, well, let's run itthrough the filter of if we say
yes, does this help us reach ourgoal or not?
Yeah, black and white you know,hey, we, we, we had an agreement

(32:03):
that you were going to hit, youknow, 10 whatever by the end of
this month.
Did you do it or did you not?
Well, I worked really, reallyhard.
No, I know you worked hard, Idid too.
Did you hit 10?
Well, well, I mean, I justthere was this.
I know I know there's a lot ofvariables and speed bumps.
Did you hit the 10 or not?
Yeah, and it just it helps,especially for women.

(32:25):
I feel like it takes theemotion out of it.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
Oh, okay.
So traction is a good book forKelly, your host, to get on her
radar immediately and I'll nerdout with with you anytime you
want.
Yeah, let's nerd out about it,because I'll tell you what this
is amazing, especially over thelast call it year to year and a

(32:51):
half.
This has been something I'vebeen heavily working on is
putting the emotions aside,especially working in business
with your husband, because mostmen are.
They can get into thiscompartmentalized.
It's black, it's white, and wewill have these conversations on

(33:14):
a weekly basis.
When we're having our weeklystart to the weekly meeting to
start the week, it's like, okay,how are we doing?

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Well, we call those in traction, we call them L10,
level 10 meetings, and it's a.
It's a weekly meeting and I runone with SOAR, with you know,
me and myself, basically, and Ihave a mentor that that works
with me to help implement all ofthis.
But and actually I startedrunning L10s.
I don't know if I told you this.
I started running L10s with myhusband, did you?

(33:45):
We, we went through a bigtransition in this past year,
and you, any marriage you gothrough seasons and I'm like, no
, we're getting reallystructured.
So we did an offsite and we usedthe traction principles of
putting together our goals as afamily and our rocks, which are
these tangible quarterly littlegoals meet every single week in

(34:10):
the and it's a strict agenda.
We first start off and I'm happyto share it with you too.
It's you know.
We start off with highs andlows from the last week and we
go over uh bank accounts andfinances and you know incoming
money versus, you knowoutstanding uh balances.
We go over schedules and thenwe go over any major decisions
that need to be made in the nextweek and we it sounds so nerdy
to, like you know have a meetingwith your spouse, but it has

(34:31):
helped so much We've been doingit.
Now, what eight months?
That's incredible.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
We do something similar.
It's spotty and a little lessformal, but we do um kind of a
pulse check on how the past weekwent.
What's coming up for the week,meals for the week I'm the
grocery shopper, so I'm gettingall of that stuff.

(34:58):
God, these kids want to eatlike every day.
It's exhausting Multiple times,multiple times and as they're
getting older, it's likeconstant.
No one prepares you for that.
It's like constant.
But yeah, no one prepares youfor that.
But to your point, I think thathaving the structure around
that and going this is missioncritical, Like we do need to
have this in place.
And look, you've been doing itfor eight months now and it

(35:21):
seems to have completely shiftedthe narrative of what that
looks like in the household.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
I feel kind of silly because I've been running a
business, you know, very tightlike that with structure, with
my team, for years and yet Inever did this at home and we
just kind of whatever and moneycame in and plan a trip and we
just, you know, day by day I'mlike this is ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
But you, looking back , right, you go, okay, I mean,
it wasn't like you werecompletely off the rails by any
stretch of the imagination.
It was just like how can we geta little bit more intentional?
Now that the intentionality isthere, it's like, oh, then you
do that.
Look backwards like, oh, maybeI could have been doing this

(36:06):
sooner rather than later.
We've talked about theentrepreneur stuff and I want to
, um, I want to start to like,wrap that up in a nice neat bow
and then fold in motherhood intoit, get into the motherhood
aspect of it.
Um, like when the kiddos camearound and all of that fun, fun

(36:27):
stuff.
But you mentioned that you had,you had had your your first
baby business.
When did everything shift?
And then make the shift to nowyour business, which is SOAR?

Speaker 2 (36:40):
Mm-hmm.
Um.
So yeah, I, I remember being ina meeting when I was building
Forever Bride.
It was this, this really bigmeeting.
I was 38 weeks pregnant with myfirst baby.
We were sitting outside at thisfancy hotel downtown
Minneapolis having a beautifullunch.
I'm about to close this dealand then I feel something and I
excuse myself and I'm in therestroom going okay, my water

(37:01):
broke.
This is great, everything'sfine.
And I remember coming back tothe table and I'm having this
internal conversation going okay, we need to close this deal,
but we need to get to thehospital and I'm like, what am I
doing?
Like I'm and I had worked allthe way up through my pregnancy.
I was so, so sick and it's yeah,you look back at the things

(37:22):
that you did when you werepregnant and when you're raising
kids and you're trying to doall the things and you're trying
to be this version of yourselfthat you you think you're
supposed to be, and and, ofcourse, I kick myself right for
for how hard I pushed.
Um, yeah, and I remember, youknow, my water breaking in this
the middle of this meeting andhaving to leave, and I don't

(37:42):
remember if I closed the deal ornot.
Isn't that so bad?
Right?
Because you look back and you'relike that wasn't important in
the it was huge right and I'myou know, I'm calling people
from the car trying toreschedule my next couple days
because I'm like, well, I'mhaving a baby, so maybe we can
meet next week.
Yeah, just come.
Just so silly, like myexpectations of what I could do

(38:03):
were ridiculous.
But yeah, so I raised my, mytwo kids had, went through the
two pregnancies while I wasbuilding forever bride, and
there really is no substitutefor for grinding.
I mean, there's going to be acouple of years where you
absolutely are going to grindand this work-life balance thing

(38:23):
is not real.
You just, you just do as muchas you can in some parts and
give yourself grace, and everyday is going to look a little
different, um, but I think, Ithink what's important.
So there's this matrix, um, andand I don't know if you've
heard of it like the urgent,important matrix, right when
there's the like it's not urgent, it's not important.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
And then I'm laughing because you know this.
I'm laughing because I knowthis, because my husband,
literally on the daily, is likeis this urgent, kelly?
Is this not urgent Right, butif something sits in the not
urgent important long enough.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
then eventually you know, like scheduling an oil
change, that's not urgent rightnow it's important, but you put
it off long enough.
Now it's going to become urgentand important.
But the problem is I think,especially in the beginning, and
maybe this is more for women islike everything is urgent and
important all the time and Imake this to-do list with 40
things that I need to get donetoday and it's everything from

(39:20):
scheduled dog nail trimming tocall a client back to this.
But everything is equal on mylist for some reason.
Right, I'm trying to get everysingle one of them done all the
time Sounds about right.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
It's exhausting.
It's exhausting.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
So learning how to figure out what's urgent and
important, and sometimes justthe important things, and then
figuring out how to prioritizesome kids.
But taking care of ourselves isanother big piece of it.
Like I, I went through a lot ofthis mom guilt of you know I.
Like I miss my boy's firststeps, like that'll always haunt
me and like it could be a bigdeal, but it could also not be a

(40:01):
big deal.
It's all in how I decide that Iwant to frame it.
But what I have to remindmyself of is my kids see me
happy to get up in the morningand they see that I'm excited to
go to my office and when I comehome from work I share really
fun things that I did.
And now that my kids are oldenough, I start to bring them to
events and they get to see momin her element, which normally

(40:22):
they see mom in, like sweatpantsand you know her elbows in
laundry.
Like they don't get to see theother version of Ashley and they
get excited seeing her, they,they really I didn't realize how
much they would nerd out overlearning about my business and
really seeing the impact thatwe're having on people.

(40:42):
Every time I get a great review, I read it to them saying like
this is like.
Hey, check out this.
You know, half of my reviewssometimes are just screenshots
of like a text message and thenbut I'm like, look you guys,
look at what this person saidabout SOAR and they get so
excited.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
It's impact right.
It's impact in multiple waystoo.
It's impact for you, it'simpact for the person who you're
helping.
It's impacting the family.
It's impacting the kids, Likeliterally.
I love that share of they're atthis.
They're at this season of lifenow where they get to come and

(41:20):
have those experiences with momand see mom in a completely
different element, a completelydifferent lens as well, and
that's cool.
You're dropping seeds too.
I just love like this is kindof a full circle moment from the
beginning of the interviewwhere you shared, like I think

(41:41):
I've like entrepreneurship isprobably just in your blood, you
know, and the lemonade standwas the kickstart to that, and
your dad modeled for you, andnow you're doing that same thing
for your kiddos.
And it's just so cool.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
I think it's important for them to to see
that other side of mom also, sowhen something does come up and
you do have to miss that soccergame, it's not this, this
terrible office environment,like we were watching the movie
hook the other day.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
Do you remember the?

Speaker 2 (42:12):
beginning scene where he, like, misses the baseball
game and the kid is sodevastated and I just I remember
watching that as a kid, beinglike oh that asshole dad, you
know he's never there.
But then the other side of menow watch it the other day and
I'm like he's, he's workingreally hard for his family.
He's doing his best, like theydon't understand and like how,
and so I want to make sure mykids understand like I'm going

(42:32):
to do my best to be at all thethings that I can, but they also
respect enough.
Like hey, if I miss something,it's really important and it
doesn't mean I don't love youand I'm going to be at the next
one, like it just it's creatingrealistic expectations, too, for
the family.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
Totally, totally.
I literally just kind of got ina trance there with what you
were saying and I had somethingpop up in my head.
We're talking about the moviehook, hook.
Um, oh, it'll come back to me.
I mean, this is just sort ofthe way that my brain operates
right now, which is so fun whenyou're a host of a podcast and
all of a sudden I can't rememberwhat I was gonna ask you.

(43:07):
But it'll come back, so well, Iremember one.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
One of your questions that you had emailed me is like
a quote or a mantra orsomething that I live by, and
this has been something that has, I feel like, has been
following me around for years,but I've never grasped it.
And within the last couple ofweeks, I'm like, oh my gosh, I
get it and I'm going to livethis because I need it.
I need the structure.

(43:29):
I'm like, oh my gosh, I get itand I'm going to live this
because I need it.
I need the structure.
I'm all over the place, right.
I'm a typical visionaryentrepreneur.
There's.
There's two types ofentrepreneurs.
You've got the visionary andthe integrator.
And um, the quote is, or themantra is self-discipline is the
highest form of self love and,as a recovering people pleaser,
right when everything is urgentand important, and if somebody

(43:51):
emails me with their issue orproblem, I'm going to now make
it my priority to help them,even if it means missing
something and taking care ofmyself, putting myself number
one and having more structure inmy life.
I create structure foreverybody else and my team and
my company and things and mykids create structure for
everybody else and my team andmy company and things and my

(44:11):
kids.
But creating that, thatstructure and creating those
boundaries for me is the bestway that I can show myself love,
because pulling myself too thinis not being very nice to
Ashley.

Speaker 1 (44:19):
And.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
I've done that for way too long.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
I'd love to hear when , like when you came across that
particular quote or mantra andwhen you really started to like,
it clicked for you and all of asudden you're like okay so I
have this first step indiscipline for me.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
So a couple of years ago I got these things called
goals journals and it's just acute little notebook like this
and similar to traction.
You put down your, your goalsfor your life, you spend this,
this page and it says my big,you know my big roadmap for my
life, and then you break it downto your yearly goals and then
it has a page where you do eachmonth what does that look like?
And then each different page isa week.

(45:01):
So these are my five thingsI've got to get done this week.
And then it has these dailyhabits, and the daily habits
have been, um, I like to checkthings off.
Yeah, like I love little notesand so it's little things like
jackets.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
I'm in, I'm in.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
Um, but little things , like you know, up at.
My goal is to be up at six, 30.
That is I.
I've been trying for five yearsto do that.
So now the goal is to get up atseven and, and if I get up at
715, if I hit snooze for alittle bit, I don't get to check
that box for the day, and I'mso OCD that, like, I want to
check those little boxes but I'mfailing in all these little
areas of you know.

(45:39):
Get up at seven take vitamins,workout, stretch, instagram less
than 30 minutes a day and inbed by 10, like.
Those are my daily activitiesand I miss them all the time.
And then I give myself like this, this guilt and frustration,
Like I can't even do theselittle disciplined things, and
and I had to spend some timerealizing like why?

(46:00):
Why did I write these thingsdown every single week?
Why are these six things soimportant?
Well, when I am structured andI have the self-discipline to do
these things, I perform better,I'm showing up better to my
husband, I'm showing up betterat the office.
Like these are little thingsthat when I can force myself to
do them, it actually helps me.

(46:22):
I'm not doing this to be meanto myself.
This is so.
It's this stupid goals journal.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
I love it and I think that I know I'm going to try to
refrain from using the wordslike.
I think I'm confident there'smany individuals who are
listening right now where thatresonates hard for them and

(46:50):
they're going yeah, Ashley, I'mright next to you.
I have been there, I have donethat.
I have written down all ofthese different things that I
should be, should be doing so sothis gal Alacia Citro, higher
self habits.
She wrote that book.
Um, she's down in Scottsdale,arizona, and I will literally
never forget the first time Imet her in person.

(47:10):
Um, she, she shared with thegroup of people that she was
speaking to.
Like quit shitting on yourselfgirlfriend like quit that, quit
it.
How were you going to?
How were you going to developthe little habit and stack?
the habit and stack the habit,and stack the habit, and stack

(47:31):
the habit, and I just loved it.
I thought it was, it wassomething that stuck with me,
and so I I have these moments toAshley Again.
I'm that person also on theother end of the microphone
going.
I'm right next to you because Iwant to be up at a certain time
in the morning and I want to beat bed, and you know, by I
don't know 930 sometimes.

(47:53):
Sometimes it's a little bitlater than that, but there have
been moments where we've been inbed by 830 because we are so
exhausted from the day.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
But when you're clear on your why, those habits mean
nothing, and you're shooting andyou're creating this guilt If
you don't step back and go.
Well, why?
What is the bigger picture?
And that's that was my biglight bulb moment of like this
self love, because that's that'ssomething that I've struggled
with for a very long time.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
Right.

Speaker 2 (48:22):
Leads into stretching yourself too thin.
So getting clear on why am Ideveloping these habits, yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
So how do you feel about where you're at now with
all of that?

Speaker 2 (48:34):
It's.
It's still a daily struggle,but I think every day I'm
getting further and furtheralong.
I I, you know what you put intoyour brain matters, and I um uh
.
I listen to audio books in mycar.
I drive a lot and I had amentor years ago that basically
said you're not listening to theradio anymore.

(48:55):
This is before podcasts andSpotify and all this.
He was like you're going todownload Audible and you're
going to listen to books, and Ican tell that when I'm not
feeding my mind good, positivethings like we talked about the
weeds in the garden like ourminds will, if left unchecked,
they will run around and they'llstart talking very bad, you
know you start having thisnegative self-talk again, like

(49:18):
like a puppy if not left incheck, it's going to run wild,
and so I it is.
It's this daily discipline ofkeeping my mind where I need it
to be Like, if you're going tobe a high performer you know as
a former athlete if you're goingto perform at this level, you
can't just do what everybodyelse is doing.
You can't do half the work andexpect excellent, you know, top

(49:40):
0.1% results.
If you want to be different,you need to think and act
differently, and that's I knowthat's going to again we talked
about earlier going to um againwe talked about earlier you're,
you're never going to get there,you're never going to arrive
and be like I know everything,I'm done, learning and I'm done.
It's like going to the gym.
Have you ever seen that funnymeme?
I saw this really jacked guy atthe gym and I was like what are
you doing here?
You're done, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:00):
No, you did it.
He's like no, it's even harderto maintain once you get to that
level.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
So that's the other thing right Now.
Now you've leveled up, youcan't let off the gas.
It takes even more work andeffort to keep yourself at that
level.

Speaker 1 (50:20):
Okay, so I'm going to go a little off script with
some of the questions that I hadsent over to you.
I'm always intrigued andinterested, um, and sometimes I
ask the question, sometimes Idon't, but I'm very intrigued
knowing just the short amount oftime that we have known one
another and the level thatyou're at.

(50:41):
Have you found yourself in acircumstance where you have had
to take inventory of the peoplearound you and make some
decisions, or and so to anotherlike off of that question is was

(51:07):
it challenging this?
This is a soft spot.
Did it take longer than you?

Speaker 2 (51:12):
thought it was going to.
It's a.
It's a soft spot because I think, um, this is something a that
I've gone through a lot ofpainful experiences in this area
, but also be it's funny how Goduses, like your, your biggest
pain points to also be the partwhere, like, he wants to shine
and he wants to use your giftsin the world Like.
It's funny when you get reallyhigh level and look at it.

(51:33):
Yeah, Because with SOAR it's apeer group organization.
I fully believe with my entireheart that you are a
representation of the fivepeople you spend the most time
with.
You need to be intentional withthat.
You know, if you hang out with abunch of smokers, eventually
you will be a smoker.
Like you know, basketballplayers hang out with other

(51:53):
basketball players.
Like.
And if you're trying to be thesuccessful business owner, but
you're hanging out with a bunchof losers who do drugs and are
negative thinkers and are nottaking care of their bodies,
what makes you think that youare going to be in this top,
elite percent of people that aredoing incredible things and
have a great, healthy marriageand a healthy body?
It's silly, right.

(52:15):
It's like sitting eating icecream all day and manifesting
your perfect body.
It's that crazy right Totally.
But there's a lot of people inour life, and sometimes they can
even be family members, whichis really tough too, because
those are a little bit harder tocut out.
And so that's a differentdelicate dance of creating
healthy boundaries.
But but I look back and I lookat there's been seasons and um,

(52:38):
and I think movies lied to us askids.
You know you, you see, like, oh, they've been best friends
since grade school and I haddifferent groups of friends in
my different levels of my videogame and and at first that hurt
in my different levels of myvideo game and and at first that
hurt.
I didn't understand why, whythey left me or why all of a
sudden I didn't feel connectedto them anymore and I would try

(52:59):
to hold on to some people fortoo long or I would you know
they would guilt, trip me.
I'm like we never see youanymore and like what you know,
are you mad at me?
God, that's a girl thing.
Like don't ever especially withmoms, right, people that don't
have kids.
They completely don'tunderstand.
I was texting a friend lastnight.
I was in bed at nine 30.
She was texting me aboutsomething.
I was like, baby girl, I loveyou.
I am so burnt out I don't thinkI can do anything.

(53:19):
She was trying to plansomething fun.
I'm like I can't say yes toanything right now, like I, I,
and so having people thatunderstand, like I just want to
be in my hole for a couple ofdays and recharge.
But seeing how my life hasevolved and the level that I'm
on in this video game, thepeople that are around me are

(53:41):
really determining what my nextlevel is going to look like.
And um, and, yeah, it's.
It's not easy, becausesometimes they can also be your
comfort.
Yeah, sometimes they can alsobe, um, like a guilty pleasure.
You know, getting together andgossiping.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
Right.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
That's what we always do, and it feels good and
you're just kind of being sillyand you're talking shit and like
it's, but then you look you'relike that is not.
That's not the version ofAshley that I foresee in this
next chapter, but that I foreseein this next chapter.
But again, it's like sittingand eating ice cream but saying,
well, I'm going to be in shape.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
I'm going to.
It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah, you are what you do, notwhat you say.
Yeah, I just.
It's.
It's a again, it's a touchy,touchy subject.
It's a touchy topic and you'renot the first person in matter
of fact as you're talkingthrough it.
I am literally kind of relivingsome of those moments in time

(54:40):
where I'm like either I had thelight bulb moment or I had
somebody else pointed out for me, ie my husband.

Speaker 2 (54:52):
It's good to have people in your life that are
that close, that can point themout who, literally, would be
like are you sure you want to gohang out with that person?
And as you're leveling up, andthey're not, that's the hardest
part.
I don't know if this is true,but I heard a saying once of do
you know?
Do you know how you boil a potof crabs?

(55:14):
You don't have to put a lid onthe pot, because anytime one
tries to climb out of theboiling water they, they pull
them back in, and someone toldme that once, like when you're
about to do something big oryou're about to go to this next
level, you're trying to get outof this pattern, or this circle.
They're not going to let you goeasy.
No, because what it does is itshows them the divide of where

(55:36):
they could be, and that's goingto make them uncomfortable.
Yes, because when you startdoing better, when you start
cleaning something up, when youstart going to this next level
and they're not they don't likeit, even if you feel like they
have the best intentions.

Speaker 1 (55:49):
Not, they don't like it, even if you feel like they
have the best intentions.
A hundred percent, a hundredpercent, it is.
It's just, it's sad.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
It really is Like the the emotional side of me is
coming out right now and goingoh, it's just not a fun feeling
when you recognize that momentand I, I even marriages can be
so hard too is sometimes youhave people that are going on
different levels at differenttimes and and you want your
person to come with you, orsometimes you have to be patient
, or sometimes you're really farapart on your levels, and

(56:23):
that's hard too.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
Yeah, my husband and I have talked about this
actually, and it's sort of this,um, how he explained it was,
and maybe this will resonatewith you.
When you're in a relationship,you know, and let's, let's just
stick to the point of spouses,right?
You're like rubber bands withone another and, um, the further

(56:45):
apart you get, the easier it isfor that rubber band to snap a
part.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
You get, the easier it is for that rubber band to
snap right.
Okay, so then a little bit more.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
One person either has to, like, tone it down a little
bit, or the other one has tocatch up.
They have to come along that'sgood.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
Oh, I've been there on both ends yep, same same, but
it's a.

Speaker 1 (57:07):
It's a good metaphor for or analogy is probably a
better way to put it.
An analogy for listeners to gohmm, I wonder what that might
look like in the circumstancethat I'm on the farther end of

(57:28):
that rubber band, or maybe I'mthe one who's pulling and having
the recognition of like, okay,what?
What does the reality of thecircumstance actually need to
look like so that can pertain toyour relationship with your
spouse, your friendship with youknow, uh, an individual, uh, a
peer, uh, you know, a colleague,and our kids?

Speaker 2 (57:50):
are watching.
Our kids are a lot smarter thanwe give them credit for, and I
think, too, back in seasons whenI was hanging out with you know
, maybe some people that I lovedand maybe they weren't on the
same level as me or doing somegreat things.
Our kids are going to look upto the people that we hang out
with more than they look up tous.

Speaker 1 (58:10):
And.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
I need to be really intentional with what adults
they are seeing.
Yeah, because it could just beone interaction.
They see a girl who's maybe notdoing great things or not
dressing a way that I would wantmy daughter to dress, and it
imprints on her that I want tobe just like her and that's
going live in in her head.

(58:31):
Um, I think of like okay, so Ilike wearing men's watches.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
I was literally always eyeing up your watch.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
I love it, thank you, but it's every time I look at
it.
It's a reminder, because mycousin, who was much older than
me her name was Ann.
She was so cool.
You know, she was in collegeand in 20s when I was a kid, and
everything she did was so cooland she always wore her dad's
old rolex and she wore it reallyloose.
Yeah, right, and I'm like, oh,that's so cool, that's like how
you wear your watch.

(58:59):
You wear it really loose.
So when she would look at thetime, she'd whip her arm out and
just like, oh, I have to move.
I'm like that and it's so silly, like that is the one thing
that imprinted on me so hard.
There's not a day that doesn'tgo by that I don't wear this
exact watch, and then I just, oh, I just feel so cool every time
I win.

Speaker 1 (59:15):
So silly here.

Speaker 2 (59:15):
I am 40 years old and I'm like I'm so cool, I'm like
my cousin Ann, like it'd go backto being this like six year old
.

Speaker 1 (59:21):
Does Ann know this, or is she going to listen to
this podcast?

Speaker 2 (59:24):
I think I told her at some point.
But, like that, that's one ofthe biggest things you know.
And and luckily I had reallygreat people.
My parents did a wonderful jobof they would have these
beautiful dinner parties andthey surrounded themselves with
great people, lots ofentrepreneurs.
You know um people that talkedto me.
Do you have people in your lifeLike there'll be around your

(59:44):
kids and they don't talk to yourkids?
I think, that's so weird.
I think it's so important tolike spend a couple minutes
because you don't know that 10to 60 second interaction you
have with that kid.
What could imprint?

Speaker 1 (59:56):
That was so cool having you walk in, and I was
like I've been very intentional.
There's only been a few timeswhere, like, the boys haven't
been able to greet the guests.
But I'm like you need to comeand meet this guest and
introduce yourself and I lovedthat interaction that you had

(01:00:17):
with them.
Like even before you and I wereable to have a conversation,
right, it's like you were havinga conversation with them.
They're so important to me,they're so cute.

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
But those skills are some of the most important
skills that you can instill inthem.
They can figure out, you know,business skills and learning the
science and the math andlearning the skills.
But, like those people skills,those soft skills, that's stuff
that really can't be taughtafter a certain age.
You know, I would always thinkof when I was hiring people.
I remember like, yeah, you lookat their resume and all of

(01:00:48):
their skills and things likethat.
But if they come in and theydon't know how to shake my hand
or they're sitting kind of weirdor they're not put together
properly or they can't make eyecontact, those are little things
subconsciously that make me go.
I don't know if this is theright person because I can teach
them the other skills.
I can't teach them how to bepolite and how to make eye
contact.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
I can't teach them how to be polite and how to make
eye contact.
We were just talking about thisconcept with one of our clients
.
We went out to dinner with themrecently and it's the EQ versus
the IQ.
I will always hire someone on EQbefore the EQ versus the IQ and
we kind of went down rabbitholes on both ends of those

(01:01:28):
spectrums with IQ and the IQ and, and you know, we kind of went
down rabbit holes on both endsof those spectrums with IQ and
the EQ.
But yeah, that that is trulywhat you're speaking to right
now is, you know, how are you,how are you being a human, like
and having manners and just likebeing wholesome and kind to the
people that you're beingintroduced to?

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
Yeah, and that's what's so great about being able
to bring your kids along tosome of these events and having
them not only see us but seeingother adults that behave the
same way.
You know it's one thing when Isay you know you should stand up
straight and you know, use yourmanners and things like that.
But when we go out in a socialsituation and they see other
people doing those same thingsthat I've been drilling in, it's

(01:02:13):
like you know, you tell themsomething a hundred times and
somebody else says the samething Like wow, I've never heard
Wow, and then it sticks.

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
So again.

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
We need to put them around, good people that can
reinforce what we're teaching athome.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
What has this process looked like for you with the
kiddos?
I'm assuming a lot of this waswith the kiddos.
Um I?
I'm assuming a lot of this wasum imprinted I'm going to use
your word imprinted on you asyou were growing up, and when
did you all of a sudden go okay,this is, I've got to start
doing this with these kiddos ofmy own.

Speaker 2 (01:02:42):
I um so something that I did recently, right Cause
, as, as moms, especially likewe, we give and we give and we
give and we make sure everybodyelse is taken care of before we
apply our own oxygen mask.
And my daughter is in her horsephase Everything is horses
right now.
And she um for her birthday.
We, instead of giving her athing, we're trying not to do
more things, because our houseis full of clutter.

(01:03:03):
We don't need more things, sowe're trying to do experiences.
So her gift was horsebackriding lessons and we found this
great place and it's not toofar from our house and it's
beautiful and they're privatelessons and it's so affordable.
And I'm going hang on if I'mgoing to be driving her all the
way down here.
I want to do lessons too, likeI want to do something for
myself.

(01:03:23):
Like I saw my parents get intohobbies and do things that they
really enjoyed.
My parents were intomotorcycles, my dad was really
into Harleys and then my mom gotinto them and we'd go to
Sturgis and it was a whole thingand that was their hobby.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
Wow, really.
Yeah, that's a whole otherpodcast.
I grew up going to Sturgis likethe real Sturgis.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
But that was their hobby and they did it together
and they surrounded themselveswith other good people.
My dad started a motorcycleclub called Street Legal Road
Lawyers so it was full of thesebig tattooed, you know scary
Harley guys that were judges andsheriffs and lawyers and like
really great humans, incredible,so, so funny.
So I was surrounded.

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
Talk about shifting a narrative of, like the way we
perceive individuals versus thereality.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, but but again, my, I had
the opportunity to be surroundedwith incredible, smart,
successful, kind people thattalked to me and, you know,
spent time getting to know meand asking my opinion and um, so
, yeah, I just started doinghorseback riding lessons because
I I think it's really importantthat my kids see me doing

(01:04:30):
something that I enjoy and.
I'm spending time doingsomething fun and silly, and not
just making lunches and workingand you know back scratches and
reading books Like there's,there's more to me still too.

Speaker 1 (01:04:41):
Ooh, that's so good.
It's so good.
How about self-care?

Speaker 2 (01:04:50):
Let's talk through this.
There's.
There's a gal, and actually Iwrote her name down because I
want to introduce her to you.
Her name is Christy Cassette.
She just wrote a book.
She's a transformation businesscoach, so she works with women
who are going through majortransformation, both in life and
business.
And, um, she was speaking at anevent and she said something.
She said self-care isn't, youknow, wine and bubble baths and

(01:05:13):
massages, and self-care isn'tsometimes adding things.
Sometimes it can also be takingthings away.
Like self-care doesn't need tobe like doing more and going and
getting that massage and goingfor that.
You know, hot girl walk.
Sometimes it's creating thoseboundaries and saying no because
that's the best way that I canlove on myself.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
That's so good.
It really is.
I'm taking things away, are you?
I'm saying no, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
And it's hard because I FOMO.
I want to do everything and I,but I'm not in my twenties
anymore.
Like I get girl, I get tired.

Speaker 1 (01:05:53):
I get girl, I get tired.
I am with you.
I that event that I was at lastnight for for Laura.
Oh my gosh, I got back and youhave to jump, you have to
literally switch the hat right.
So it's you go from event hatKelly or event hat Ashley to mom
hat Ashley or mom hat Kelly,and like I didn't eat anything

(01:06:14):
when I was there, I got back andI was like I'm starving so I
stuffed my face and thenMaddie's about ready to go to
bed, so she wants to snuggle andthe boys are trying to tell me
things, and and then, like 45minutes later, I'm like I'm
tired and the boys are like wantto watch a movie, and I was
like absolutely not, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:06:33):
Sometimes I tell my husband I'm like I ran out of
words.
Like I'm out of words for today.
I used all my words.
Like we can communicate withthe hand signals, you can text
me, but like I'm done with thewords, Tap, tapping out, tapping
out, we're we're going to goand we're're gonna go

(01:06:56):
night-night, uh-huh, and he's,and he's really good with with
seeing that, even before I do.
But yeah, I mean, I, I remember,remember, when five hour
energies came out, oh god, thosethings like set me on a whole.
I was like these things areamazing, like you know, screw
like coffee.

Speaker 1 (01:07:03):
You don't need coffee .

Speaker 2 (01:07:04):
Oh my gosh, like I'm a superhero and I did, I like,
abused those stupid littlethings for years because I need,
I felt like I needed to be ableto do it all at a hundred miles
an hour and and my self-careright now is like that is just
not fair to my body anymore,Especially with everything I've
been through with.
I shared a little bit aboutthis autoimmune thing that
cleared up a couple of years ago.

(01:07:25):
that just absolutely was part ofmy rock bottom and it was my
body's way of saying you cannotdo this anymore at this level.
Like we will, we will die we.
I was on this path where I waspushing myself so hard that,
literally, systems were shuttingdown.
Like that was my biggest wakeup call.

Speaker 1 (01:07:45):
I I literally had a very similar circumstance and it
it it was, by no stretch of theimagination, an equivalent of
what you're speaking to withautoimmune stuff.
But my body, when, when I sortof hit this like wall in the

(01:08:06):
mortgage industry and itcouldn't quite figure out like
what's going on I the version ofme pre baby in mortgage is
completely different now.
And what is happening and Iexperienced eczema for the first
time ever in my entire life I'dnever, ever had something like

(01:08:28):
that happen and it happenedaround my eyes and then it was
happening like on my chin andstuff and around and I'm like
what the hell is happening?

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
Our bodies are their own little beings and they
communicate with us in so manyways, but we have not been
trained to how to listen to themExactly.

Speaker 1 (01:08:47):
But it was like in that moment I I'm going why is
this happening?
Why is this happening?
And then it was probably twomonths after that that I
realized, oh, my body literallywas telling me girlfriend, you
are too stressed out,something's not working and you
better fix it, and you betterfix it quickly.

Speaker 2 (01:09:07):
What's?
What's the quote about a plant?
If a plant is sick, you don'tjust give the plant drugs and
start like spraying all thesechemicals on it.
We take a look at theenvironment of the plant.
What's the plant going through?
What's the sunlight situation?
What's the water situation?
What's the soil situation?
Let's look at all thesedifferent factors.
But why are we so quick to go?
We'll just have another fivehour energy.

Speaker 1 (01:09:34):
You're fine, just get some cream on it, you know?
Just there's.
There's other things.
We need to look at our bodiesin different ways and we need to
listen to them.
I'm going to go here for just asecond.
Do you remember in COVID whenthey were like, literally, you
can't be outside?
Are you kidding me?
The one thing that our bodiesneed right now to combat this is
sun.

Speaker 2 (01:09:48):
Anybody believed that phrase of you shouldn't go
outside.
I can't even, but there areashley.

Speaker 1 (01:09:53):
There are people that literally were doing that and
like, oh my gosh, I can't godown to listen to like you're.

Speaker 2 (01:10:01):
You have this, this internal.
You know what's right, you knowwhat's wrong right, like if
your baby is crying.
You know what, what, what youneed to do Well, that's probably
a bad example, but no, there's.
There's certain things in life.
You know what's right, you knowwhat's wrong, you know what you
need and we need to, we need tofollow just just common sense.
Yeah, there's, there's a lot ofthings that common sense can,

(01:10:23):
can help and fix.

Speaker 1 (01:10:25):
Okay, so that was a bit tangential, but you were
you're speaking to thiscircumstance that you
encountered, where your body wasliterally telling you hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
So when was that?
And um, talk myself and thelisteners through, um, that

(01:10:46):
moment in time where there wassort of this realization as well
.

Speaker 2 (01:10:50):
Yeah, so I think that my health started to decline in
2021.
And I don't want to blame anyof it on COVID, because I didn't
.
I didn't believe in anything ofwhat was going on, so I still
lived my life and I still didall the things and traveled and
I just I refused to believe thatwas going on.
So so I don't want to blame iton that, um, I think there's a

(01:11:12):
lot of other stuff going on inmy life and um, and, of course,
like most of us, I didn't listento it and I just tried to push
harder and um, and I wasn'ttaking care of myself and I was
letting the weeds grow in mymind.
I was just really spiraling Um,and there's also a time where,

(01:11:33):
on social media or on LinkedIn,like everything seems like it
was so amazing, right Almost tothe extreme, where, where people
were um seeing a version of andit wasn't my, my I don't want
to say my fault, I don't know itjust there there was just this
huge divide happening betweenwhat people saw, or what they

(01:11:54):
wanted to see, and what wasreally going on, which made it
even harder to a admit to myselfwhat was going on and B ask
anyone for help.

Speaker 1 (01:12:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:12:02):
And um and yeah.
It got to a point where I wassleeping probably 12 to 13 hours
a day, couldn't get out of bed,and health stuff aside, I was
so depressed.
I hated what I had become.
I had no vision for where.

Speaker 1 (01:12:22):
I was going.

Speaker 2 (01:12:23):
I felt so stuck in.
Just my day-to-day Raising kidsis really freaking hard.
It is it's it's the mostwonderful thing in the world and
I think life is like that.
You know, the the good alwayscomes with the bad, you know to
see the greatest sunsets.
You've got to climb the highestmountain.
Like to have a great marriage.
It's a lot of fricking work.
So, so I knew that.

(01:12:44):
I knew that, um, it was aadmitting to myself what was
going on and be having peoplethat I could talk to.
And you think of those people,right, we talked about like
different circles of peoplethroughout your life and your
levels.
Think of the people that havebeen there through all your
different levels.

Speaker 1 (01:13:04):
Oh, isn't that those.

Speaker 2 (01:13:06):
Those are.
Those are your people, and theymay be gone for a level or a
season or two, but those areusually your people that you can
trust, because they've seen youin all your different versions.
You know the real you.
They're not going to judge andguess what.
They're probably going to bethere in a couple of future
levels too.
So it was me getting real withwith what's going on and what

(01:13:26):
help looked like and what thepath to recovery was going to
look like, and I knew it wasgoing to be tough working with
some of these functionalmedicine doctors and they warned
me like hey, going through thisand cleaning some of this out,
it's like cleaning out yourbasement the hallway is going to
get really messy as we're goingthrough this process, but I'm

(01:13:48):
so grateful for it.
We talked about, too, theimportance of pushing off the
bottom of the pool, like I'm.
I'm so grateful that I wentthrough that because it pushed
me into this whole newstratosphere, this whole new
level that that I feel like I'mjust I'm cruising now and and
the level that I'm in and andthe.
It's a tough one, it's a reallytough one, but, man, I'm

(01:14:09):
tougher.
Yeah, it made me.
It gave me the skills and thetools and the people right
Figuring out who your people arein those seasons.

Speaker 1 (01:14:19):
Yep, I'm thinking of um.
So I do a discipleship and thewoman who I disciple with is
incredible.
She's just incredible.
She's probably like 80something.
And we're talking about, like,building the spiritual backbone
right and all of the um, all ofthe different areas that you've

(01:14:42):
got to traverse in order to beprepared for, say, a rock bottom
, or this moment in time where,um, things are tested.
For instance, right, stuff'stested in your business, stuff
is tested, um, in in the realmof motherhood or in your

(01:15:04):
relationship with your spouse.
You're tested.
And how?
How are you growing thatbackbone to be able to come to
the table and um and do it in a,in a functional way and letting
go of the old version ofyourself that would want to
perhaps snap at your child orsnap at your husband?

(01:15:28):
I'm literally speaking out oflike sincere, been there, done
that.
How do I approach it with alittle bit more grace and
patience?
This go around right, like it's.
What you are speaking to is the, the resilience in that, in
that backbone that you'rebuilding in those moments of the

(01:15:50):
valleys Again, I talk aboutpeaks and valleys so much on
this podcast and I think thatthat's you know, those are, and
unfortunately, the areas thatyou really got to go to, but I
love that you also expressedlike I'm grateful that I went
through it.

(01:16:10):
Was it shitty?
Yeah, 100%.
This is how I'm growing andglowing through it too.
I think that that's something Ido want to emphasize too.
Ashley, is you I'm coming in ina different moment of time of
who you are as a person, right,and I'm just like, oh, she's

(01:16:33):
glowing and I just love seeingit.
And I love seeing and havingthis experience of learning
where you come from, where youare at and what you're doing now
and where you're going also,and how you're also like taking
people's hands and bringing themwith and going.

(01:16:54):
It doesn't actually have to bethat hard.
Or sometimes in I loved atLaura's book launch last night,
she's like you don't have toalways hit rock bottom in order
to be able to like go thatdirection or make this big life
decision Right.
You do not have to.
It's not always about thelabels, it's not always about

(01:17:14):
all of this stuff.
It just really isn't.
It was really beautiful, right,and and it speaks so much to
what you're saying as well-speaks.

Speaker 2 (01:17:26):
so much to what you're saying as well.
I love that.
I love that.
I know, as you're saying, allthat, I'm thinking, yeah,
ideally I would have preferrednot to have gone through that
and I feel like there is aversion of me in like a
different universe that maybecould have gotten out of that or
reach this point without havingthe push at the bottom of the
pool.
Um, so I I like that Laura saysthat too, cause not everybody
has to have this like withouthaving the push at the bottom of

(01:17:48):
the pool.
So I like that Laura says thattoo, because not everybody has
to have this like this terriblething that happens to them and
now they're successful.
Like I feel like I've seen somany keynote speakers and I
would always think, like well, Ican never be a keynote speaker
because I never went throughthat terrible thing, like my
thing wasn't that bad.
And like we don't all have tohave terrible things in order to
be successful, in order to havea good story.
Like you can still have a greatstory but, I'm, I'm, I'm
thinking.

(01:18:09):
You know, I love the name of thepodcast, the reclaiming your
hue.
Like I, I feel like I have mypink back and that was my
biggest rock bottom was I wouldjust cry because I I lost it and
.
I lost it so bad I didn't evenknow what the path looked like
to get it back.
I didn't even remember whatcolor pink I was Like I didn't
remember who she was and I do Ifeel like a completely different

(01:18:36):
version.
I don't, I don't even rememberthe old pink version.
It is.

Speaker 1 (01:18:38):
It's really weird when you go through these big
phases, but that's okay.
Yeah, that is okay.
Yeah, that is, it's okay.
I think also, too, that there'sa lot of um, those moments that
we hit those critical masseswhere there's just a lack of
alignment, and so when part ofreclaiming our hue is going from

(01:18:59):
the misalignment to I am muchmore aligned with my goals, my
core values, how I'm servingpeople, and if you can get back
behind that, I mean, how elseare you supposed to go than up?
I just love, okay.

(01:19:20):
So talk me through when SOARcame to fruition, why, and where
the name came from too.

Speaker 2 (01:19:33):
I know, I know it's such a good pun.
It was my friend.
We mentioned Rene Rodriguez.
This was my ready aim because Ihad everything all ready to go
the business plan.
I knew what I wanted to do andI didn't have a name, and he was
actually the one that came upwith a strategic opportunities
to amplify results.
And then you know a pun, with mylast name being Hawks, and you
know and there's there'smetaphors too in the business

(01:19:55):
community of you know you needto soar, you need to get up at,
you know 10,000 feet to reallysee the big picture.
And you know eagles fly aloneand all these things.
But years ago, when foreverbride reached this, this point,
we had talked about the.
Sometimes the tools and theskills that got you through this
level are not going to be thesame skills and tools that are
going to help you in this, and Ireached this point with um

(01:20:16):
forever bride, where I wasworking and doing the same
things over and, over and overagain, but not getting the same
results that I used to write thedefinition of insanity.
So then I would just put in moreand more hours and work harder
and harder and harder.
And I had a mentor whoencouraged me to join a peer
group and I was like I don'thave time for a peer group, I
need to be in the office, Like Ineed to be here with my team on

(01:20:37):
the floor grinding and sellingand doing this.
And he was like look, imagine,there's two lumberjacks.
You ever heard this?

Speaker 1 (01:20:44):
I tell it all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:20:45):
There's these two lumberjacks, and the first one
is like you he's grinding, he's,he's, he's there every single
day.
He's chop, chop, chop, chop,chop all day long.
Gets there early, stays late,Doesn't take lunch breaks,
missing his kids' soccer games.
But then there's this secondguy.

(01:21:09):
He do you think that is AshleyLike I, he goes.
The second guy sharpens his axand he goes.
You need to stop chopping awaybecause the things that you've
done, your ax is now dull.
You need to sharpen your ax.
You need to figure out what arethe things that are going to
help you be more productive.
It's not about the amount ofhours you put in, it's how.
It's how much you can move theneedle when you come into the
office.
What are, what are those peoplethat you need to surround
yourself with?
What are those new tools ordifferent people that you can

(01:21:30):
have in your space that aregoing to push you forward?
And that was for me the peergroup.
it was being around peopleoutside of my ecosystem that
were going to help sharpen mymind, help me see things
differently, make betterdecisions, and it was very
instrumental in my growth andthen, eventually, the sale of
the company.
And with SOAR, that's exactlywhat it is.
I'm not reinventing the wheel.

(01:21:51):
There's a way that peer groupswork.
You put 10 to 12 wonderfulleaders in a room.
These specifically only workfor CEOs, business owners, the
founder, the person who theweight that the weight is all on
their shoulders.
It's different when you're apartner in an organization but
you don't own it right.
You're still a decision maker,but things go south and you just
go find another one there's.
It's different when this isyour baby, this is your family's

(01:22:14):
name, this is your family'smoney, and putting people in a
room together where they can letdown their guard a little bit
Cause.
When you're at a networkingevent, you and I know how are
things with you.
Oh, so good.

Speaker 1 (01:22:24):
Fantastic.
How are things with you?
Oh, doing great.
How are the kids, kids?

Speaker 2 (01:22:27):
are great.
You're not going to go into anyof those things.
It's not the time, the place.
You don't know that person wellenough, but this is the time
and place where you can sit, thebe real and you can go.
You know what I'm actually.
I'm dealing with this majordecision.
Guys, I need to figure out do Ido path A or path B?
And you've got a room full ofpeople, like a personal board of

(01:22:47):
directors, that know you, theyknow your core values, they know
where you're going and they cango.
You know what, Kelly, you maynot be looking at this the right
way.
Have you thought of path C?
or how did you end up here?
Let me just dig through that alittle bit and they can help you
see from different perspectives.
They know you, they love you,they're not.
They're not from your industry.
So now you've got a perspectivefrom a marketing guy

(01:23:07):
perspective, from a legal guyperspective, from somebody from
manufacturing.
You've got all these differentbackgrounds because sometimes we
get stuck in our own littleindustry bubble and that's not
always helpful either.

Speaker 1 (01:23:17):
No, no, no, no, no, it definitely isn't.
To have different soundingboards is absolutely incredible,
absolutely incredible.

Speaker 2 (01:23:26):
And.

Speaker 1 (01:23:26):
I've learned that in drawing out a few gals who I'm
close with, who have been on thepodcast, and going, let's start
a mastermind group.
And none of us walk the samepath, none of us are in the same
industry by any stretch of theimagination.
I had to really think aboutthat.
That is, that is indeed true,and to have these different

(01:23:51):
angles and differentperspectives is incredible,
cause I would have otherwiseasked a question and maybe
probably gotten like, oh, haveyou tried it this way?
But instead it's coming fromsomebody who is, you know, like,
doing something completelydifferent from what a podcast
looks like.

(01:24:12):
Right, but they're like oh well, what about this?
And you're like Hmm, what, whendid that even come from?
You know this only works forCEOs.

Speaker 2 (01:24:21):
That that's just in my world.
The, the, the concept ofbringing people together to
discuss the real stuff, is oneof the most important things we
can do as humans.
I mean think of moms.
How hard is it in the beginningwith moms?
I was lucky.
My husband's sister and I arereally close and she had a bunch
of babies by the time I wentthrough pregnancy and instead of
calling my doctor first whensomething weird or strange
happened, I'd call her and she'dgo.

(01:24:41):
Oh yeah, that's normal, thathappens.
I'm like ew, what that's normal.
She's like oh yeah, everybodyknows that I was going to go to
the doctor.
I thought that was a and sohaving people, that that you can
have in your ecosystems for alldifferent chapters of your life
, or you know, you've got yourbusiness peer group.
You've got your mom peer group,you've got your church peer
group this is how we thrive.

Speaker 1 (01:25:01):
Yeah, I do feel as if we have gotten to this space of
literally there isn't this bigvillage around us anymore and
you're starting to see thatshift that's happening and call
it social media or just likebeing exposed to more things.

(01:25:22):
I do think that there's a bitof um, there's still this
isolation that happens, but themore and more we come to
recognize it, call it out, nameit and then go.
I actually do need help aroundme.
I can let go of theperfectionism, put it aside, put
the ego down and get in frontof people and go.

(01:25:45):
What?
What is happening?
Why is?
Why does the business feel likethis right now?
Or why do I feel this way aboutthe business, or why?
Why am I bumping into thisconsistently?
And you can have somebody orhave a group of people around
you, like you know, whereverthey're respectively at in their

(01:26:08):
season of their business andjust season of life too.
They can give you some prettysound advice and perspective.

Speaker 2 (01:26:18):
Well, that's why it's so important.
That goes back to having yourstrong, why Having a big vision.
So that way, when it comes downto oh, my ego, I don't want to
tell somebody that I'mstruggling.
Well, that one littleuncomfortable of saying hey, I
need help, is actually going tohelp you get to that bigger,
longer piece that you're tryingto strive for.
So always having that bigvision in mind when it comes to

(01:26:40):
your business and raising yourchildren, yeah Right.

Speaker 1 (01:26:45):
Mm, hmm, speaking of children, so you have two kiddos
, okay, and remind me their agesagain nine, 12 and nine, 12 and
nine.
Yeah, cause your daughter justhad a birthday didn't she?
So sweet, so sweet.
Um, talk, talk me through someof the ups and some of the downs
that you've experienced in umhaving children, and maybe,

(01:27:10):
maybe it was like when you firsthad them, or maybe it's right
now.

Speaker 2 (01:27:15):
You know, I don't know exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:27:16):
I think that that ebbs and flows depending on who
you are as a woman, as a mom andas a business owner as well,
but there certainly are thesemoments that each one of us
respectively have, as we'reeither starting up a business or
, um already in the, in thethroes of business, and then

(01:27:37):
also the, the harmonization ofthat with motherhood too.

Speaker 2 (01:27:43):
I, uh, I was really stuck in the first lumberjack
mode for a really long time and,like we joked about, instead of
, you know, figuring out how towork smarter, I just worked
harder you know, more five hourenergies and just go, go, go
With my daughter.
I went back to work full timewhen she was six weeks old and
left my little tiny newborn withmy husband's parents, who were

(01:28:06):
just amazing and I'm so gratefulfor them.
But I felt like that's what Ihad to do.
I had to be back in the office.
I was, you know, I was steeringthe ship.
I had to be there for my teamand my second baby.
I went back to work full timewhen he was two weeks old and
even before then I brought himto the office.
I was looking at picturesbecause it was his birthday the
other day too.
So I don't know, that's mybirthday routine as I go and I
look through all their babypictures and there's pictures of

(01:28:29):
him days old on my boob.
I'm sitting at the office atthe computer and I had one of my
girls like, take my picturewith my little newborn and I'm
just sitting there grinding in alittle black blazer and a tank
top, like what am I doing?
And then I'd make a little nestunder kind of like a dog bed.
I would bring a little dog bedand a blankie and then I just

(01:28:50):
put my little brand new newbornon the floor under my desk to
nap, like what am I doing?
But in my, in my head, you know, this was a stupid girl, boss
you know, season and, like youknow, I'm mad at whoever
invented that term.
Um, so I'm mad that I stayed inthat season for so long.
You know I shared earlier.
I missed my little guy's firststeps and any mindset.

(01:29:12):
It's all in how I frame it.
I can be really mad at myselfand have guilt and I can carry
that for years and years.
Or I can say you know, that wasone moment and I've been there
for a lot of other things.
He doesn't realize if I wasthere for his first steps or not
.
Right, it's all in how we frameit, um, but now I'm in a season
where I'm really prioritizingfamily and I'm really

(01:29:32):
prioritizing what it looks likefor me to be that second
lumberjack, because I still wantto go to the moon and I still,
you know, being an entrepreneuris is in my blood and that's
where God wants me to be, and Iam not slowing down by any means
, like I, I feel I there's likea third gear, there's like a
third lumberjack that I'm tryingto figure out Like what?

Speaker 1 (01:29:49):
does he look like when you figure that out?
Let me know.
Oh yeah, I'm going to figure itout.

Speaker 2 (01:29:53):
And um and so what it's looked like is now totally
prioritizing kids, prioritizingmy marriage, cause that's always
been.
You know talked about hills andvalleys.
It was a lot of valleys andthat's going to take a lot of
work, and what I've learned isthe more that I sharpen my ax
and the more I put time into mykids, I literally I'm speeding
up.
I'm I'm growing sore fasterthan I've ever grown forever

(01:30:15):
bride and that was 10 years.
I've surpassed where foreverbride was already in two years
but it's but it's been reallyreally intentional about what
does it?
Look like to sharpen my ax, andthat's all I care about right
now is better, faster makingdecisions.
You know saying no to thingsthat are not going to help push
me, because I know exactly whatmy goals are for this year, for

(01:30:37):
this quarter, for this week, andnothing will take me off track.

Speaker 1 (01:30:41):
You know what's so incredible that you are this
week and nothing will take meoff track.
You know what's so incrediblethat you are, you're literally
so abundantly clear about isthat sometimes it's okay.
Let me back up for thelisteners.
This is such a.
All I keep thinking is this issuch a gem, like this is like
put this in your pocket and likelook at it every single day.

(01:31:02):
Listen to what Ashley is sayingright now, because I mean it
takes.
It takes failures and I, I do.
I've interviewed you're the67th person that I've
interviewed and all I keephearing is, the faster you learn

(01:31:23):
to get over that failure,understanding what your, why,
your core values and there's afew other things that we can
push into that as well.
If you keep that why and keepaligned to that why, it should
help propel you past thatfailure.

Speaker 2 (01:31:43):
I wish I could say that it started with that
mentality.

Speaker 1 (01:31:45):
The truth is, this is terrible.

Speaker 2 (01:31:47):
Do you remember?
E True Hollywood story?

Speaker 1 (01:31:49):
Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (01:31:51):
And they would tell you know, before she reached
fame, you know she did this andthis and this.
And they would tell you knowthis rock star before he became,
you know, the biggest rock starin the world.
He dealt with this, this andthis.
Well, back in my modeling daysI my goal was to be the biggest
model in the world and I alwaysthought of when they make my E
True Hollywood story, what's itgoing to be like?

(01:32:11):
And anytime something bad wouldhappen, I would frame it like
this is going to be a great partfor my E True Hollywood story,
because no one wants to read abook or hear you know an E True
Hollywood story of like she wasraised with a great family and
then she became reallysuccessful in the end.
And now here she is, and isn'tshe perfect.
Nobody cares about that story.
Everybody wants to hear, hearthe grind and the this and this

(01:32:33):
failure and this failure.
I was like.
So that kind of been was mymentality, like anytime
something bad happens, like, oh,this is going to be great.

Speaker 1 (01:32:40):
You didn't even shy away from it.
It's going to be a greatchapter.
You didn't even shy away, okay.
So then my question, my likefollow-up question to this, is
how did that play with yourperfectionism?
Because the reason I ask isliterally because that is my

(01:33:03):
very issue is I literally wanteverything to be perfect and
just as so, and have it alldialed in.

Speaker 2 (01:33:11):
It's so funny.
Again, looking back, all thepuzzle pieces make sense.
I feel like everybody shouldstart.
You know, some people sayeverybody should be a server
work at a restaurant.
I think everybody should gointo modeling or acting and have
your butt kicked and havesomebody look at you straight in
the eyes and go.
You're not pretty enough, or?
you're not tall enough, or yousaid it wrong, or we don't like
the way your feet are shaped orlike you deal with that kind of

(01:33:33):
stuff and um, and I rememberwhen I got started I got started
modeling lightly when gradeschool and then went
professional when I was like 14.
But I remember my mom wouldalways drill into me.
She was like you got to havethick skin and as a kid you're
like I don't understand whatthat meant?
I thought it meant literallythick skin and she would explain
like, whatever they say, it hasnothing to do with you.
as as Ashley, as this beautiful,like human, it's just about

(01:33:56):
what they're looking to put in amagazine, right, like, put
yourself in their shoes, shoes,they're just trying to find this
particular like canvas to holda box of crackers.
It has nothing to do with youand as soon as you can hang on
to that and when you're going tocastings and and the, the
booking rate for an averagemodel is like five to ten
percent, so that means you'regoing to go on 10 to 20 castings

(01:34:18):
per job that you book and onceyou can wrap your head around
that and has nothing to do withyou now.
But there are some things youcan control, right, and that's
where I found my edge.
Right, because I was never thetallest, I was never the
prettiest and I was never theskinniest, but I would show up
early and I'd have a greatattitude and I learned so much
about the industry of like howto keep my nails a certain way

(01:34:39):
that casting directors like thatand what to wear to a casting
that made them go.
We like her, or just you knowcertain things or remembering
people's names.
This is long before you knowsmartphones, so I would collect
business cards and I would savethem and I would make a note.
You know, so, like I wouldremember the makeup artist's
name, I would remember thestylist's name, a conversation,
oh, she has a dog named Sammy.
I would write that on the backof their business card.

(01:35:01):
So so next time I saw themcould be a year from now.
Oh my gosh, amanda, so good tosee you.
How's your dog Sammy?
And I would try it now.
I have a terrible memory, whichis why I write everything down
the notebook in my lap.
But that gave me an edge.
When I would go to a castingthey would go oh my gosh, we
remember working with her a yearago.
She was easygoing.
I never had an opinion.
Models used to have I'm surethey still do they put something

(01:35:23):
on the.
I don't like it.
Like this Should we start.
You are not the stylist, youshut up and you go get your
picture taken.
You don't get to have anopinion, you don't get to.
You know, be difficult to workwith.
So it was very easy to workwith Um, but it.
I think that's a good, a goodway to realize that it's it's
not you, um, you're, you're justthere to to do a job, and but

(01:35:49):
there are things that you cancontrol and that can give you an
edge against all thecompetition.

Speaker 1 (01:35:53):
I love that.
Oh the edge.
Yeah, Figure out your edge.

Speaker 2 (01:35:54):
That was another piece of advice a mentor gave me
.
Is you know, always if there'san advantage in life, take it If
it's legal and ethical, ofcourse.
But if there's an advantage thatyou can have.
Okay, have you ever gone to thegrocery store dressed like
complete homeless?
You know your sweatpants, hairin a messy bun, missing an

(01:36:16):
earring.
How do people treat youDifferent?
Versus, if you came in wearingstilettos and a dress and your
hair and makeup done, do peopletalk to you differently?
A hundred percent?
Is that discrimination?
Is that is that fair?
That people treat youdifferently based Absolutely.
That is completely fair.
Now, if you want to be treateddifferently in this world, if

(01:36:36):
you want doors to get open foryou, don't sit around in your
pajamas and then get mad when noone offers you that job.
A thousand percent.
Take the advantage, figure out,learn as much as you can about
the person you're interviewing,or the person that's going to be
interviewing you for this jobas much as you can about them.
Learn about the company, showup early.
Talk to the receptionist alittle bit Like there are so

(01:36:57):
many little things that you cando that can give you an edge in
this world, but it takes alittle bit of effort.

Speaker 1 (01:37:09):
You can't be lazy Again.
If you want to be the top 1%,you can't keep acting like the
99%.
Yeah, the effort.
I mean it's to your pointearlier in the interview about
how, if you want to get to thatnext level, it's going to take
this to that person the rightamount of energy, and you cannot
go.
Oh, I'm going to sit here onthe couch eating ice cream every

(01:37:31):
single day and then also expectthat I'm going to have this
very beautiful body.

Speaker 2 (01:37:38):
I love the saying get on your knees and pray, and
then get on your feet and work.

Speaker 1 (01:37:42):
Mm-hmm.
So that's a good segue into asyou have traversed through all
that you have.
What has faith looked like foryou?
What have been your guidingprinciples through?

Speaker 2 (01:38:00):
all of it, but I think what's been hardest for me
is is my inconsistency with myfaith.
Right, it's, it's the hills andvalleys you know, it's natural
as humans that when we startdoing well, we're like thanks
God, I got it from here.
You know like doing good, andthen we're at our low point.
We're like where'd you go, yeah, and then you realize like he

(01:38:21):
didn't go anywhere.
We went, yeah.
Low point.
We're like where'd you go, yeah, and then you realize like he
didn't go anywhere.
We went, yeah.
And then we come back up andthen it just, you know, it's
like we forget what we learnedin our last peaks and valleys.
We're like got it from here,thanks again.
And so for me it's getting backinto that, like almost treating
it like my goals journal and mycheckpoint of like have I prayed
today?
Have I done my check-ins?
Like when was the last time Iopened my Bible?

(01:38:43):
Like there's these like littlethings and again, it doesn't
have to.
Like, it doesn't have to look.
My faith journey doesn't looklike what I see on Instagram and
and I struggle with that rightLike I don't sit down and you
know, um, it doesn't look likewhat I think it should look like
.

Speaker 1 (01:39:00):
And.

Speaker 2 (01:39:00):
I think that's a whole other battle that I'm
working through, but man likehow amazing that we have this
consistent creator, that nomatter how many times we screw
up, he is always there.
And there hasn't been a timethat like I've cried out in the
middle of the night, where Ihaven't felt something of like.

(01:39:24):
I'm here and just remindingourselves, too, that, like the
perfectionism because that'sthat has haunted me for a long
time, and I know that's not fromGod God does not design us to
be perfect.
Like he is perfect, yes, andlike this whole world that he
has given us to go and enjoy.
Like this life is a gift, right?

(01:39:44):
Like if I give you a gift, likethe little zip up.
Like I don't want you to putthat zip up, fold it in the
closet and keep it safe.
That would not be respectful tome.
Like I gave you that giftbecause I want you to enjoy it
and wear it and get it dirty.
And like go, go, I don't care,wash it a thousand times.

Speaker 1 (01:40:01):
She gave me this absolutely beautiful zip up.
That's like a uh, just dreamyit's.
It's, it's cozy and it's adreamy cream color.
I just love it.
I love it.
I'm like that's going to getketchup on it pretty quickly,
but I want you to.

Speaker 2 (01:40:17):
I want you to use it.

Speaker 1 (01:40:18):
I want you to enjoy it Right and like this life is
not supposed to be.

Speaker 2 (01:40:22):
You know I want to want you to enjoy it Right and
like this life is not supposedto be.
You know I want to.
I want to slide into the grave,you know, sunburnt and dirt in
my hair and wild, and like Iwant to have completely enjoyed
this, this gift of life, and Idon't.
So that's what I battle with.
The perfectionism is like Ifeel like I'm trying to enjoy
this gift that was given to meas much as I can, and being a
perfectionist is being reallydisrespectful, because that's

(01:40:45):
not me enjoying everything.
I'm trying to tiptoe around,I'm folding the sweatshirt and
putting it in the closet versuswearing it and enjoying it.

Speaker 1 (01:40:53):
I'm enjoying hearing you say that it hasn't been easy
, your faith journey that is.
It hasn't been perfect, ithasn't been Instagrammable per
what we see others posting ordoing, or you know, and I I
strongly believe thateverybody's faith journey is

(01:41:15):
their faith journey and itdoesn't have to look like
getting up every single morningand praying and then also doing
that multiple times throughoutthe day, or the acknowledgement
is just the first thing Iacknowledge.
I acknowledge that there's thiscreator, I acknowledge that
there's something else biggerthan me, and also that that

(01:41:39):
particular creator doesn't wantto see me acting in this
specific way.
I feel that strongly, verystrongly, because I also suffer
from a little bit ofperfectionism also.
I mean, I'll give you a pureexample Um, and then we'll start

(01:42:00):
to land the plane, because I'mjust looking at the time going
holy cannoli.
Um, in starting this podcast, Ihad different visions of what
this was going to look likeversus the reality of it.
I did not anticipate that I wasgoing to be doing this from my
house.
I thought we're going to.
If we're going to do this,we're going to do it big, we're

(01:42:21):
going to go and get a studio, or, if it's going to be in here
we're going to do the wholeshabam.
It's going to look different.
Nope, we need to just startsmall, and I've just literally
gone.
I'm not going to upset theapple cart Because one.
I've actually created somethinghere environment-wise that
allows you to be able to come in, feel comfortable, settle in.

(01:42:46):
You got your cross-legged in adress.
That too.
Have your coffee, have your tea, have your water, whatever it
is that's going to help you getthrough.
You know this portion of thisblip of time and do it
comfortably, right.

Speaker 2 (01:43:02):
Perspective to me.
This is incredible.
This is much nicer than anypodcast studio I've been in in
years.
This is so it's perspectiveright, because I am over the top
impressed with how beautiful itis in here and how professional
your setup is Like.
This is awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:43:16):
Well, and there's been intentionality around even
going.
Okay, I'm going to pivot, right, I thought it was going to look
like this, but it's actuallygoing to look like this.
Okay, how can I make it acertain way that it's going to
feel inviting, it's going tofeel warm and it's again going
to allow the person who's comingin to sit across from me, to

(01:43:39):
open up their, their life to therest of the world, and they're
going to feel comfortable doingit.
Okay, here we go.
This is how I'm going to do it.
We're going to have cozy, comfychairs, we're going to have the
coffee, we're going to have thetea, we're going to have the
water and I'm going to have alavender candle going.
Okay, I love it.
Fine, that's what it's going tolook like and I love it.

(01:44:02):
And the conversations thatensue are just so cool and so
impactful.
All right, so there's my let goof the perfectionism and just
do it.

Speaker 2 (01:44:13):
That's what's important.
Yes, ready, shoot aim.
You can make adjustments, youcan build a new studio over time
you know every couple of years.
But that's what people getdistracted by is what is the
main thing that you're doing?
The main thing is you'resharing a message and you're
helping other people.
All the other stuff is justdistractions.

Speaker 1 (01:44:31):
I couldn't agree more .
All right, so I promised thatwe would start to land the plane
, so thank you for thisopportunity to have this
conversation with you.
Um, I think the way I want tostart to land the plane is by
asking for you what's a piece ofadvice you would give a younger

(01:44:51):
version of yourself knowing allthat you know now take bigger
risks, much bigger, really muchbigger risks, much bigger,
really much bigger.

Speaker 2 (01:45:09):
Sooner.
Okay, to be more bold, to askmore questions, to find more
mentors, to just to jump more,to shoot more to um, you know, I
was always dancing between theperfectionism and the, you know,
going forward a little bit, andthe hustle.
But, man, I think back.
If I knew everything was goingto work out, I would have gone a
lot bigger.
Like, what would you do if youknew everything was going to

(01:45:31):
work out?
How big would you go?
How much would you invest?
How much would you shout fromthe rooftops what you're doing
and what you're building?
And so I'm trying to take thatadvice right now because I, I, I
know I've got the skills andthe tools and the resources to
go and I'm, I feel like I'mgoing well.
But even now I'm like how muchbigger could I go?
What would it look like if Itook an even bigger risk?

(01:45:53):
You know, someone asked me theother day he goes if I wrote you
a check for a million dollarstoday, how would you spend it on
your business?
I'm like, oh well, is that areal offer?

Speaker 1 (01:46:03):
And you know, but he was like imagine.

Speaker 2 (01:46:04):
An investor came up to you and said I've got a
million dollars, I want toinvest in your business, but I
want to know what the money'sgoing to go towards.
I'm not prepared to answer thatquestion right now and that's.
That's not okay.
Yeah, I need to think, andhypothetically, um, I had a
friend, matt Vincent, who toldme this once, that your, your

(01:46:28):
life is like chapters in a book.
You know, I think maybe it wasour generation where you know
what are you going to be whenyou grow up and you had to pick,
like one path and you weregoing to be this for the rest of
your life.
And you know, here I am almost40.
I'm like I've done like sixdifferent awesome things in my
life.
I mean actually four careerstechnically, and they've been
wonderful and I'm not done Right, and and sword might not be the

(01:46:51):
last thing that I do.
This could just be my mythirties chapter or my forties
chapter.
And, and he said, no bookclimaxes at chapter two or three
.
It's not a very great book.
Like you still have a lot ofchapters and, and I think I put
a lot of pressure on myself oflike I need to be super
successful by the time I hit 30.

(01:47:11):
You know, I wanted to and like,and then that didn't happen and
I was like, okay.
Well, now, even today, I'm likeoh, my 40, my 40th is coming up
.
I need to be at this point andI'm not happy where.

Speaker 1 (01:47:20):
I thought I was going to be further.

Speaker 2 (01:47:21):
When's your birthday Around?
Labor Day, oh, september 3rd.
And so you know I was like, ohmy gosh, I'm almost 40.
Like the over the hill, I'mlike I'm not over the hill, like
I'm just getting started.
Right, this is, this is achapter in my book.
I'm going to have a good, youknow, solid 10 or 11 chapters,
hopefully.
And and we're just going to dogreat things.
Each chapter should be biggerand better than the next Virgo

(01:47:44):
baby.

Speaker 1 (01:47:45):
Oh, yeah, love it.
Virgo, baby, here too, yeah,love it.
What's a piece of advice thatyou would give a woman listening
right now?
That's nibbling on the edges ofentrepreneurship.

Speaker 2 (01:48:02):
Get a pen and paper, get in a quiet room or go on a
walk and start writing.
There's a lot of power when yousit quiet and put a pen to
paper and you don't even know.
You don't even have to knowwhen you sit down what you're
going to write about.
Just start letting that penmove and start writing down
ideas.
Start writing things aboutyourself.
Start writing in present tenseI am so happy and grateful that

(01:48:25):
and see where the pen goes.
Think of it like anentrepreneurship Ouija board and
you might find that your heartand your brain are already light
years ahead of you and you justneed to start following that.
And the second thing is findother people that are in that
ecosystem of where you want tobe.
So like this gal that I metwith, she's leaving corporate
and has this vision of makingjewelry.

(01:48:47):
Yeah Well, I'm asking her doyou know anybody that does this
already?
Who are your favorite designersthat you follow?
Do you know people in town thatare goldsmiths?
Not yet.
So before we even launch thelogo and buy the thing on
GoDaddy, let's you know.
Have you?
Let's do an internship at ShaneCo.
You know, go get a part-time jobat the local jewelry store

(01:49:09):
downtown Wayzata and, you know,see if the guy who the goldsmith
you know will let you shadowhim for an afternoon.
Like, get excited about theindustry that you're going into
and learn all the differentparts of it, because that's
what's going to make you amaster in your field, you know.
Looking back at Forever Bride,I think the edge that I had was
growing up seeing my mom on thevendor side and seeing behind

(01:49:32):
the scenes what it takes to runa wedding business.
So then when I was on the otherside, same thing with modeling.
I was on this side of thecamera for years.
And then when I was buildingStyle and Grace, I was on the
other side and I knew what ittook.
I knew the ins and outs of theindustry.
So, nerd out, get excited, putyourself in those ecosystems.

Speaker 1 (01:49:50):
Nerd out.
I love it, so good.
Okay, how can people get?

Speaker 2 (01:49:55):
connected to you, so I love LinkedIn.
Linkedin is like my Instagram,so that's the best place.
I try to share as much as I canand I try to be real and
vulnerable.
I posted in January when myhusband and I decided that we
were going to start running L10sfor our marriage.
We did an offsite and I used AIto put together this agenda and
it was a two-day agenda.

(01:50:17):
We got a hotel at the Hewingand we just did this beautiful
little retreat and I shared thisagenda on LinkedIn of hey,
everyone knows I'm a big EOS fanand so I said I use the EOS and
traction tools to build, tobuild.

Speaker 1 (01:50:33):
Sorry, I got distracted, it's okay, I had my
phone on silent.

Speaker 2 (01:50:38):
And I posted this and I had a troll that popped up
for the first time.

Speaker 1 (01:50:42):
Oh, and that was just an interesting.
You've made it.
You've made it.

Speaker 2 (01:50:48):
I feel like that should have happened sooner.
Again, the perfectionism butyeah, linkedin is a great way.
And then what we're doing withSoar Soar's big on Instagram, so
I think that's a great placefor people to explore what we're
doing in the business community.

Speaker 1 (01:51:07):
I love it.
I'll be sure to drop all ofthat information into the show
notes.
I'll drop a little bit ofinformation, too, about EOS, in
case individuals are curiousabout learning more about EOS
and all that it offers.
Ash, this has been incredible.

Speaker 2 (01:51:24):
This has been so fun, I loved it.

Speaker 1 (01:51:27):
You did such a fantastic job of tying in how
reclaiming your hue has lookedfor you and what that actually
means.
I think we talked off air abouthow just some people are so not
aware of what that actuallymeans, and thank you for tying
it in so beautifully and how itpertains to your story.

(01:51:47):
You are amazing.
I enjoy you.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
I hope you have a great rest ofthe day.
Thanks for listening and if youenjoyed this episode and know
of any inspiring mamas who arepowerhouse entrepreneurs, please
help connect them with myselfand the show.
It would mean so much if youwould help spread this message,

(01:52:08):
mission and vision for othermompreneurs.
It takes 30 seconds to rate andreview.
Then share this episode withyour friends Until the next
episode.
Cheers to reclaiming your hue.

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Ep. 66 with Ashley Hawks | Founder, Soar Groups

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 66 with Ashley Hawks | Founder, Soar Groups