July 21, 2025 • 37 mins
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When someone you love is struggling—emotionally, mentally, or through addiction—it’s natural to want to help, to fix, to make things better. But what happens when trying to save them begins to cost you your own peace? This episode of the Recover Your Soul Podcast explores the powerful Soul Recovery principle of detaching without abandoning yourself. Being okay when others aren’t doesn’t mean disconnecting from compassion or ignoring reality—it means turning inward, releasing control, and choosing to care for your own well-being first. The Soul Recovery Process invites us to see “what is” with clarity and neutrality, to stop trying to shape reality into what we wish it could be, and to instead respond from a place of inner strength and spiritual alignment. This episode offers support for anyone caught in the tension of love and suffering, with guidance on how to recognize your own needs, trust your emotions as sacred messengers, and make decisions that honor your wholeness. Through Soul Recovery, you can begin to release old patterns of codependence, reconnect with your Higher Self, and remember that your healing is not only possible—it’s the most loving choice you can make, for everyone involved.
This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison or guests. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.
Rev. Rachel Harrison and Recover Your Soul www.recoveryoursoul.net
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
In soul recovery we're learning how to
be okay, how to actually behappy and healthy through a
spiritual path when the peoplearound us might still be
struggling or the world aroundus, which right now is very
intense, is struggling, movingto the place where we're saying,
(00:21):
well, everything's happeningfor a reason.
It's about learning how to lookat things in a more neutral
format and choosing love overfear.
We can always be present withwhat is and be able to make
decisions that don't abandon us,that allow us to step more
(00:41):
fully into our sovereign state,our spiritual whole, authentic,
higher self.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
a happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
(01:05):
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives, as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing to ourselves.
(01:29):
Focusing on our inner changeand healing, positive results in
our lives will follow.
Welcome to the Recovery SoulPodcasting Community.
I'm Rev Rachel.
This is a community where we'relearning how to take our power
back.
This is a process the nine-stepsoul recovery process where
we're awakening to our true self, where we're recognizing that
we came here, because maybe wehave someone in our life who's
an addict, maybe we havecodependence, maybe we grew up
(01:52):
with dysfunction.
Something outside of you feelsoverwhelming chaotic.
And listen, we are in the worldright now, and if you don't
have somebody in your family whofeels heavy or too much, or
that there's something going onthat feels uncomfortable, just
watch the news, just stepoutside your door and feel like
(02:14):
the world's on fire, which iswhat it feels like right now.
And there is such a propensityfor us to go back to the control
, the desire to try to make itbe something else, so that we
can be more comfortable, that wecan be safe, because it does
feel unsafe right now.
And I think that what I want usto talk about today is going to
(02:37):
be partially a conversation froma Instagram message DM that I
got, but it's also about thisconcept that I've been really
thinking about.
That goes right along with it,so it was perfect timing, which
is how are you able to be okayor to work on your spiritual
journey or to heal yourself orchange your belief systems or
(03:00):
show up from a new way of being,when what looks like everything
that's happening on the outside, whether it's the big world or
whether it's within your family,is just so hard, so painful, so
complex.
And that's the piece that Ireally want to talk about today,
because there is a lot going on, and there's a lot going on for
(03:25):
a lot of different reasons, Ithink.
Especially right now, it'sreally intense and up because of
a lot of the stuff that's inthe astrology and a lot of the
energies that are happeningaround us.
And you know, I'm into the wooand I'm not going to go too far
out into the woo, woo but evenif you just look at it at face
value, there is a lot going on,and so we want to move into that
(03:49):
place where we want certainty.
There's a lot of fear, there'sa lot of upset, there's a lot of
unknown, and so this is thetime, right now, for you to
deepen your spiritual practiceeven more, to really lean into,
turn the attention to yourself.
What's going on with you?
How can you change how you'reseeing it, how can you change
how you're showing up for it.
(04:10):
How can you have compassion andcontinue to be in the light and
continue to be okay with whatis and that's the question that
brings me to the Instagrammessage.
So the Instagram message readsme to the Instagram message.
So the Instagram message readsa question for you how do you
allow the relationship to bequote what it is unquote when
(04:31):
your husband and someone Ishould be able to depend on is
not dependable?
We have two small children andI have been doing so much better
with detachment and I'mlistening to the Let them Theory
book as well, but I'mstruggling with how to allow it
quote unquote to be when I needhis help.
I have hope he will get better,but what if he doesn't?
(04:55):
When do I make a choice that Ideserve more in a partner?
Any advice would be helpful.
Thank you so much.
I've been listening to you andyou've truly kept me balanced in
crisis.
I love this question because itgoes right along with what I've
been thinking about in thisconcept of there is real stuff
happening.
There are real consequenceshappening around us from not
(05:21):
only the bigger situations thathappen in the world and with the
government and everythingthat's happening in terms of all
the discord and the oh my God.
There's just so much that ishappening.
But in your own family you'vecome here probably because you
have somebody in your life whois in this space where they're
not okay, they're not makingchoices that benefit your family
(05:44):
.
Where they're not okay, they'renot making choices that benefit
your family.
They're not showing up as apartner that is being present
and connected and helpful.
Maybe they're choosing theirown addiction, maybe they can't
get their head above water.
Whatever it is, there is a whatit is.
That is really hard and I thinkin spirituality sometimes there
can be the spiritual bypass thatsays just see that everything's
(06:09):
working out for the highestgood.
I was talking to somebody aboutthis the other day.
Right, it's like this is justthe lesson I need to learn right
now.
Well, that's not helpful.
That might be.
On a larger scale, truth thatthere's.
There's some curriculum of lifehere on earth school that we're
all going through, and it isway easier for me to be on that
(06:34):
upper level where I can lookdown with some some witnessing
and be like, okay, on a largerscale, there's something else
going on.
That is a bigger picture and ifI didn't believe that, I would
really still be at a high levelof stress and anxiety.
But you can't just dismisswhat's happening and the
(06:57):
experience that we're having asthese incredibly rich and vital
and incredible souls having thishuman experience, if you don't
sit in the humanity of it, ifyou don't experience the
feelings that you're feeling, ifyou don't look at how it is
(07:17):
affecting you and your life andhow you are in your being.
And this is the piece that Ithink is so important, soul
recovery is where we're actuallylearning how to be with the
world and with our relationshipsin a way that if we can take
judgment off of it, if we canstop seeing what is good or bad
(07:41):
and we just have more ability tosee what is this is what I talk
about with the what is.
Sometimes you're looking atwhat is is not okay, it's not
great, it's not healthy, itisn't aligning with you, it
isn't safe.
What is is not about acceptingeverything in a way so that you
(08:05):
figure out how you personallycan do a better job at being
okay with it.
It's not about being okay withit.
It's about actually seeing itfor what it is and in the midst
of seeing it for what it is, ifyou open up a little bit bigger
to that.
(08:25):
Generally, what you're lookingat is you're looking at a lot of
pain, a lot of inability tomove, for people to be willing
to do the heavy hard work tomake a decision to heal
themselves, to make a decisionto do better in their own life.
And if you look at what'shappening in the larger world,
(08:46):
there's so much control I mean,ultimately everything's about
power and control and control ofmoney and who's saying what?
And you know, can we talk aboutthings, about somebody, people
who don't like our president,and then that's the voices being
quieted and there's all thisfear.
And it's actually a largerrepresentation of a system that
(09:10):
has been happening for a long,long, long, long, long time.
And the way that I look at itfrom a spiritual perception is
that it's just all rattling andcoming to the surface and
showing itself in how you eitherare choosing love or fear in
any moment, no matter what it is.
(09:30):
You're either choosing love orfear and lightness or darkness,
and darkness is not evil,darkness is the absence, of
absence of light and love.
And we get to be in thisexperience where we can start to
look at the what is from thisnew way of seeing and I want you
(09:51):
to really take a look at thewhat is, because the what is is
actually neutral, the what ishappening is actually neutral.
And if we, if we can open up tothis neutrality I was actually
just reading this in the way ofmastery this morning and I was
talking to Rich about how thisparticular spiritual book that
I'm going through every day, Iread two or three of the little
(10:14):
chapters and it's similar to theCourse in Miracles and it's a
channeled work and it talks alot about neutrality work and it
talks a lot about neutralitythat things are just happening,
they just are right.
And there's been thingshappening through the essence of
(10:34):
time since the beginning oftime, even before humans were
here.
Right, like things grow andthings die.
And you look at the animalworld and some animals eat other
animals and they fight and thenthey're okay and then they
shake it off and then they goback to grazing and you know
things are extinct and then theyare reborn and things shift and
change.
There it's neutral, it's beenhappening for a long time.
Then humans come in and thenwe're complex and then we're
(10:56):
fighting with each other andwe're trying to figure out who
we are and all of it is aroundthis learned behaviors and these
systems, that we are makingbeliefs and stories and trying
to make sense of all of it, andwe're constantly creating a
story of what this means.
What does this mean?
(11:17):
Why are they doing this?
How did we get here?
How are we going to fix itRight?
All of that is self preservationand the ability for us to be
able to try to wrap our headsaround stuff that really were
powerless over all the stuff inthe first place, which is why
step two in soul recovery is sopowerful when you really
recognize that we're reallypowerless over everything except
(11:40):
for how we choose to see it.
What is the perception in whichwe are witnessing this neutral
situation?
And it's all of our attachmentto how we think it should be or
what we want it to be.
And all of that actually bringsus and this is in step three,
(12:01):
where you're looking at what areyour beliefs and patterns and
stories and why are you tryingto control, why do you want it
to be different?
What's really going on?
So, if you have somebody in yourlife I'm going to go to this
question who many of us do, manyof you do with thousands of
people in this community on aregular basis.
(12:22):
There's many, many more, butthere's thousands of you that
are coming every single week andlistening to this podcast,
which I'm honored and privilegedthat I have this incredible
community and I guarantee youalmost all of you have this
situation on some level where,here you are, you've done step
one, you've ready for a makeawakening, you've stepped into
(12:43):
this place where you're like I'mgoing to make a decision to see
my world, my life, take mypower back, quit giving
everybody else the power to tellme whether I'm okay or not, and
to start to be curious aboutwho am I and how am I showing up
and what is my growth, how do Ifeel and what am I seeing that
(13:07):
I can change.
That's step one in soulrecovery.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul Recovery SupportGroup on Zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
(13:28):
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the
nine-step soul recovery process,I'm here for you, but you can
also choose to work the steps onyour own, with individual
modules intended to support you,to work at your own pace and on
your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
(13:49):
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find DailyInspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode and now.
(14:11):
We're looking at these beliefs,patterns and stories and
underneath, the power of usunderstanding how we feel is
giving us the information thatwe need to understand what is
actually going on for us, thatwe are here to learn.
(14:31):
If you have somebody in yourlife who is struggling with
their own human experiencethrough addiction or mental
health or anxiety, there is aessential element that we are
aware and present for, andcompassionate for, somebody
(14:51):
else's journey and someoneelse's experience, and the part
in soul recovery that we're allworking so hard on is not being
responsible for their healing,for their growth, that we're not
more invested in what'shappening to them than we are
into, how are we going to bewith it?
And so accepting or being okaywith what is is not the point.
(15:18):
The point is to see what is,with clarity, with compassion,
with an awareness that takes allof our sticky.
Here's what you said you wouldbe for me, and this is the
agreement that we made, and as adad, you're supposed to be this
and as a husband, you'resupposed to be this.
If you can look honestly atsomebody who is in the depths of
(15:43):
their despair, the dark nightof the ego, when you can look at
it from your clear, spirituallyconscious self, you will know
whether they are invested inhealing and choosing love, or
whether they are invested infear and choosing harm, and we
(16:08):
are powerless over which onethey choose, but we can see what
they are choosing and from that, we're looking at it from our
new angle, which is we areinvested in choosing healing and
love for ourselves and thecompassion that you can have for
(16:28):
somebody who may be in a placein their life where they aren't
able to get their head abovewater.
Aren't able to get their headabove water, and it's incredibly
painful and complicated towatch somebody else drowning,
but, as I've said in otherpodcasts.
It's like we go out there likethe lifeguard and we've got the
(16:52):
lifesaver, whatever those thingscalled the life floaty thing,
and we've got all the stuff.
When we run out there andthey're drowning and and we're
trying to give them all thetools to save themselves, and
they're just pummeling you,they're just dumping you
underwater, they're justdragging you under, and there's
(17:12):
a moment when a lifeguard has tochoose their own life over
saving the person who's drowning, because that's whose life
you're here to have, is yours.
And so you leave theinformation out there, the life
preserver out there, and theycan decide whether they're going
to grab a hold of it.
(17:32):
And you know what so manypeople when they're in the midst
.
I mean, if you really thinkabout the actual drowning right,
how terrifying it is thatyou're not in your right mind,
that, even though there'ssomebody there to save you, you
can't get your head into theplace that says, oh, calm down.
You know, stop resisting, stopfighting, stop.
You know pushing the otherperson under the water.
(17:54):
Notice that they're here tohelp you, just relax.
Not everybody picks that.
And this is the part where weare really stepping into this
deep level of tenderness andcompassion to everybody in their
own experience, and this is theplace where you can kind of
come from that higher view andlook down and say, on some level
(18:16):
, everybody's here to learnwhatever it is they're supposed
to learn, however hard theychoose to learn it from.
We can't possibly understandthe levels of pain and suffering
and trauma and real,unconscious and subconscious
(18:37):
beliefs and stories that areunderneath there, just dragging
them under.
But this is the beauty that weeach have a choice.
Always, every single day, youhave a choice about how you're
going to show up in your ownexperience experience,
(19:02):
recognizing your feelings, usinghow it feels to you to be the
incredible gift that teaches usmore about ourselves and how we
feel and what's going on with us.
And so, being in a space withsomebody who is in struggle and
you see that they are choosinglove and helping from themselves
, but it doesn't look the waythat we would like, it's not as
fast as we would like, orthey're not going to rehab like
(19:23):
we want them to, or they're not,you know, doing the therapy, or
they're doing the work.
That's the moment when you lookand you say am I trying to
control this?
Am I trying to save them?
Am I trying to do for them sothat I'll be okay.
If you believe and know thatthey are on, however slow it is,
the path to recover your soulfor themselves, their own soul
(19:45):
recovery, and that is okay.
For you to give them space andto be a support to them while
you are putting your primaryfocus on yourself to be able to
be in your world and yourhealing and your spiritual
growth and your nine-step soulrecovery process, then it might
(20:08):
make sense to do that worktogether, that there's something
that you're doing together,that it's a mirror, it's
offering you information.
But we are constantly beinginvited to be resourced for
clarity of what we need.
And it gets really complicatedright here, because I'm having
(20:28):
this visual of somebody who'sgot kids and a husband who's
making choices.
Now listen, I was there.
I was there.
I had a husband who drank a lotand I'm thinking of when he was
building the cabin and he wasgone for almost three years
(20:51):
during the week and then wouldcome home on weekends and worked
all through the winter buildingthis cabin for my mom, living
out of a tent, and they drank somuch, and he would come home on
the weekends and he'd just beexhausted and hungover and short
and I had a baby and a toddlerand I had these expectations of
(21:15):
what I thought a marriage wasgoing to be and how I thought my
husband was going to be and howI thought my husband was going
to show up for me and he wasproviding on a financial level
but he wasn't providing on anemotional level, on a father
level, the way that I wanted.
And I think the thing that whenI can look back and have space
on what that felt like and whatthat looked like to me and
(21:38):
reading back in the journals youknow I'm working right now with
my co writer, maddie, on therecover your soul memoir book
about my journey of my soulrecovery, which is really all of
our stories right, we're, we'reso, we're so in this together.
You know, and I was reading inmy journals about those years
when Rich was in the cabin andthere was so much loneliness in
(22:01):
my marriage.
I had all of these views andexpectations of what I thought
my life was going to look like.
I had this storybook vision ofwhat a husband would be like and
what fathers would be like andand I wanted kids and I wanted
this family and I had an fatherswould be like and and I wanted
kids and I wanted this familyand I had an expectation of how
(22:22):
that was going to look and itwas not looking like that at all
and it was really hard becausehe was stressed out and he was
drinking and he was volatile.
And when you're in the middleof that, I think the thing to do
is to like recognize that youhave to give yourself grace,
because that part of my life,when I look back on it, had so
(22:44):
many jewels of my own strengththat I wasn't really standing in
, and the beauty of therelationship that I had with my
children and the ability to seehow much resources and vitality
I had in myself.
But I didn't recognize them atthe time because I was so hyper
(23:09):
focused on what I wasn't gettingfrom Rich and what I can see.
Now that's changed.
I mean I'm still married to thesame person.
See, now that's changed.
I mean I'm still married to thesame person.
We are not the same people.
That person who had thatexperience was actually a
different person and it'sstrange that we have these
(23:29):
different chapters in our liveswhere we really are completely
different people, because weboth grew through all of it, but
there was never a moment inthose younger years where I
didn't feel safe physically,emotionally.
I didn't like what washappening.
I journaled a lot about whetherI was going to stay or go, or
(23:51):
what I wanted or this wasn'twhat I wanted.
Those feelings are giving youinformation.
Those feelings are giving youinformation and what Abraham
Hicks talks about.
Who is Esther Hicks?
Who channels Abraham?
This wisdom is Abraham.
She says that when you havethese moments where you really
feel what doesn't work for you,those are moments of clarity,
(24:14):
because it's giving you moreinformation about how you feel,
to give you more pull to connectto the universe, to say what
you do want.
But it's not about leaning inso deeply into what isn't
working, because then you'reactually in the problem and not
in the opening of something else.
And so this is where it getsreally complicated, because we
(24:38):
are in these relationships withthese human beings who are
having these experiences thatare very complex.
This was something that hereally wanted to do.
He was in his 30s.
It was really when you'reestablishing your identity and
(25:05):
the way that they made itthrough these very difficult
sleeping in tents, living off ofa generator, pooping in the
woods I mean the whole thingright, like the way that they
handled this was the fuel ofalcohol.
Why?
Because he was given drinkingas the way to be in everything.
Because alcoholism had beenhanded down from generation to
generation to generation as thenumber one solution.
(25:28):
So I can see all that now, butI couldn't see it when I was in
the middle of it, and thehealing that came in my own life
that I think that is sopowerful is not that you stay if
it's not good.
I implore you to not be inrelationships that are dangerous
(25:52):
, where you have to abandonyourself, where where you are
not safe emotionally, physically, financially, right, like
that's that looking at what iswith clarity, the neutrality,
and being able to take all thestickiness off of it and say
this is not okay for me, it'snot okay for my kids?
(26:13):
This person is not makingchoices to do better for
themselves.
This is not a place where I cangrow.
If you are in a situation thatis really despondent, this is
where you lean into a spiritualfoundation that says can I
actually trust this as part ofmy journey to understand that I
(26:34):
can and will be okay outside ofthis can and will be okay
outside of this, I can and willbe okay outside of this and that
I will be resourced with what Ineed.
And when you stop blamingeverybody else and being a
victim of thinking the world isall over you and this is
terrible there's a strength thatshows up in you that gives you
(26:54):
the next step, the next step,the next step, the next step In
my relationship with Rich.
What I can see now from whereI'm at was it was this
opportunity for me to understandmore about me.
He was just being him right,like he didn't really think his
(27:14):
drinking was as bad as I did thewhole time through, and it
wasn't until we got sober thefirst time, almost 15 years ago,
that he really looked at it ina way that was different from
you.
Know, this is just what we do,and he's danced with it until I
(27:34):
think a year ago.
A little bit over a year ago iswhen he had his last drink.
So it's been his journey.
But that is the part that it'slike if we turn the attention to
ourselves, if we step out ofour codependent.
It's my job to fix everybody.
If I don't like what it is, I'mgoing to fix it.
I'm going to make this work.
(27:56):
I'm going to make this better.
I'm going to make him better.
These'm going to make thisbetter, I'm going to make him
better.
These are these old, limitingbeliefs that we're discovering
in step three.
And then a step four.
We're, like I can and willconnect and commit to being in
co-creation with a higher powerof my understanding and trust
that this is for me, this is formy well-being, and I'm going to
(28:20):
see what is not, through all ofthe layers of old story or old
dysfunction, or I'm determinedto make this work, I'm
determined to stay and fix it,but from like real curiosity to
yourself, it's like what ishappening for me?
How can I raise my light?
(28:40):
How can I understand more aboutmyself?
How can I release this is stepfive release the pattern stories
that do not serve me, that arenot true, that are not true.
When I looked at my lifeoutside of the fantasy that I
had created, I actually startedseeing parts that were beautiful
(29:05):
, that I was missing because Iwas so caught up in what my
fantasy wasn't.
And that's really where I am inmy life today, as I've stepped
into my new, authentic, wholeself, which is step six, like
stepping into your new beliefs,patterns and stories.
When I look at my life now notfrom dysfunction, not from the
(29:30):
part of me that thinks I'mresponsible for everybody or I
have to fix everybody or I'm theone that comes last I'm in a
state where I've actually chosenmyself in a way that I never
thought I had permission tobefore and in that there's
actually more awareness andseparation and detachment in my
(29:51):
relationship with my husband.
He has always been a reallygood financial provider.
He's always worked really hardand that was one of the things
that, for me, kept me sort of inin those years that were really
hard, because at least at leasthe was doing that part Right.
(30:12):
And I know many of you are insituations where your person
isn't even doing that part andthat is really really painful.
To really look at the what isand see that whatever's going on
for this person, they are justso lost in the woods.
(30:32):
You know, none of us are brokenand it's not like there's
something wrong with any of us,but we get lost in the
wilderness.
As Brene Brown says, we're lostin the wilderness and only they
can find their way through, butyou are in your own wilderness.
So you know, the interestingthing is you get these DMs, or
(30:57):
even in working with people andcoaching.
And if there was some simpleanswer that would be like yep,
leave that one, nope, stay inthat one.
Oh, here's how to help that one.
That's not how it works, justlike how what's going on with
our country right now.
It's got to work it through.
The only way to the other sideis through it.
(31:19):
It's not about spiritualbypassing and just pretending
like everything's la la and it'snot about controlling and
trying to fix it and force itand make it be different and
better.
It's about coming back to yourheart, coming back to your own
resourced self, looking at whatis from a neutral standpoint and
(31:42):
, from that, having more clarity.
Is this love or fear?
Can I choose love over fear?
Can I let go of control and seewhat is and, from this space,
recognize whether this is astick it out?
We're figuring it out together.
I can stop having all theseexpectations of what I think
(32:03):
it's going to look like.
Really turn to myself, my ownhealing, my own beliefs, my own
stories.
Sometimes some of the greatesthealing that can happen is to
stay in the midst of the storm,and other times you cannot heal
in the midst of the storm.
Only you know that answer foryourself.
What is acceptable to oneperson won't work for somebody
(32:25):
else.
There is no one rule aroundthis except that your soul
recovery, your process, yourcoming more fully into who you
are as your full, authentic,beautiful you are as your full,
authentic, beautiful, talented,incredible soul that you are can
(32:53):
absolutely let go of all ofthis old, tired, untrue,
limiting beliefs and storiesthat have kept you trapped in a
cage where the door's been wideopen the whole time.
That you can decide to step outof the cage and to be clear
about who you are and what youwant in your life, and that you
can trust that the universe isgoing to open that for you Now.
Does that mean that there'ssome Prince Charming and some
(33:14):
beautiful house and some perfectfriends and no one ever has any
problems and the money justfalls off the trees for you?
No, that's crap.
That's another weird, you know,fairy tale that we have.
Life is challenge, life iscomplicated.
Life is about constantlychoosing your sovereign state of
(33:35):
your own wellbeing, yourhappiness, and leading
constantly to what sparks energyin you.
That's what the feelings areall about.
When it doesn't feel good, it'stelling you something, and when
it does feel good, that'stelling you something.
And if you need other people totell you how to feel, that's
telling you something.
(33:55):
This is your learning.
So the big answer is I can'tgive you an answer.
That is, that this isn't aboutsome one size fits all about
what to do.
It's about you getting moreclarity for yourself, about you
can be okay when the worldaround you are making other
choices.
(34:15):
You can choose to detach andnot watch the news and all the
things that are happening on theoutside and attend to yourself,
and you can be in arelationship, whether you're
actually staying in therelationship or not.
(34:35):
But you can look at therelationships in your life
around you and say how am Ilearning from this?
What is mine to do, and can Ilove somebody unconditionally
enough to let it go and let themfind their own way, knowing
that I will absolutely beresourced and that I can trust
(34:58):
that this is part of a largerpicture for me.
That is giving me moreinformation about my grand
experience, my curriculum, myschool of earth, my life earth
school.
It's not about being perfect.
It's about being fully awakeand conscious in your experience
(35:23):
, continually letting go ofeverybody else's experience to
determine your okayness, yourvalue, your worth, your
wholeness.
You are whole, you are enough,and if those people in your life
who are struggling so muchcould see their worthiness and
their value and their wholeness,they wouldn't make those
(35:46):
choices for themselves.
So model that by doing the workfor yourself, by healing
yourself, you are indeed makingchange in the world that you may
not see right away, but isprofound and huge.
Healing yourself is your numberone priority, and sometimes
(36:06):
healing yourself means makingbig choices that are around you,
choosing you Until next time,namaste, thank you for listening
and I hope that that helpssupport your soul recovery
process.
(36:28):
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the Recover your Soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
(36:49):
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
(37:09):
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
In soul recovery we're learning how to
be okay, how to actually behappy and healthy through a
spiritual path when the peoplearound us might still be
struggling or the world aroundus, which right now is very
intense, is struggling, movingto the place where we're saying,
(00:21):
well, everything's happeningfor a reason.
It's about learning how to lookat things in a more neutral
format and choosing love overfear.
We can always be present withwhat is and be able to make
decisions that don't abandon us,that allow us to step more
(00:41):
fully into our sovereign state,our spiritual whole, authentic,
higher self.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
a happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
(01:05):
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives, as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing to ourselves.
(01:29):
Focusing on our inner changeand healing, positive results in
our lives will follow.
Welcome to the Recovery SoulPodcasting Community.
I'm Rev Rachel.
This is a community where we'relearning how to take our power
back.
This is a process the nine-stepsoul recovery process where
we're awakening to our true self, where we're recognizing that
we came here, because maybe wehave someone in our life who's
an addict, maybe we havecodependence, maybe we grew up
(01:52):
with dysfunction.
Something outside of you feelsoverwhelming chaotic.
And listen, we are in the worldright now, and if you don't
have somebody in your family whofeels heavy or too much, or
that there's something going onthat feels uncomfortable, just
watch the news, just stepoutside your door and feel like
(02:14):
the world's on fire, which iswhat it feels like right now.
And there is such a propensityfor us to go back to the control
, the desire to try to make itbe something else, so that we
can be more comfortable, that wecan be safe, because it does
feel unsafe right now.
And I think that what I want usto talk about today is going to
(02:37):
be partially a conversation froma Instagram message DM that I
got, but it's also about thisconcept that I've been really
thinking about.
That goes right along with it,so it was perfect timing, which
is how are you able to be okayor to work on your spiritual
journey or to heal yourself orchange your belief systems or
(03:00):
show up from a new way of being,when what looks like everything
that's happening on the outside, whether it's the big world or
whether it's within your family,is just so hard, so painful, so
complex.
And that's the piece that Ireally want to talk about today,
because there is a lot going on, and there's a lot going on for
(03:25):
a lot of different reasons, Ithink.
Especially right now, it'sreally intense and up because of
a lot of the stuff that's inthe astrology and a lot of the
energies that are happeningaround us.
And you know, I'm into the wooand I'm not going to go too far
out into the woo, woo but evenif you just look at it at face
value, there is a lot going on,and so we want to move into that
(03:49):
place where we want certainty.
There's a lot of fear, there'sa lot of upset, there's a lot of
unknown, and so this is thetime, right now, for you to
deepen your spiritual practiceeven more, to really lean into,
turn the attention to yourself.
What's going on with you?
How can you change how you'reseeing it, how can you change
how you're showing up for it.
(04:10):
How can you have compassion andcontinue to be in the light and
continue to be okay with whatis and that's the question that
brings me to the Instagrammessage.
So the Instagram message readsme to the Instagram message.
So the Instagram message readsa question for you how do you
allow the relationship to bequote what it is unquote when
(04:31):
your husband and someone Ishould be able to depend on is
not dependable?
We have two small children andI have been doing so much better
with detachment and I'mlistening to the Let them Theory
book as well, but I'mstruggling with how to allow it
quote unquote to be when I needhis help.
I have hope he will get better,but what if he doesn't?
(04:55):
When do I make a choice that Ideserve more in a partner?
Any advice would be helpful.
Thank you so much.
I've been listening to you andyou've truly kept me balanced in
crisis.
I love this question because itgoes right along with what I've
been thinking about in thisconcept of there is real stuff
happening.
There are real consequenceshappening around us from not
(05:21):
only the bigger situations thathappen in the world and with the
government and everythingthat's happening in terms of all
the discord and the oh my God.
There's just so much that ishappening.
But in your own family you'vecome here probably because you
have somebody in your life whois in this space where they're
not okay, they're not makingchoices that benefit your family
(05:44):
.
Where they're not okay, they'renot making choices that benefit
your family.
They're not showing up as apartner that is being present
and connected and helpful.
Maybe they're choosing theirown addiction, maybe they can't
get their head above water.
Whatever it is, there is a whatit is.
That is really hard and I thinkin spirituality sometimes there
can be the spiritual bypass thatsays just see that everything's
(06:09):
working out for the highestgood.
I was talking to somebody aboutthis the other day.
Right, it's like this is justthe lesson I need to learn right
now.
Well, that's not helpful.
That might be.
On a larger scale, truth thatthere's.
There's some curriculum of lifehere on earth school that we're
all going through, and it isway easier for me to be on that
(06:34):
upper level where I can lookdown with some some witnessing
and be like, okay, on a largerscale, there's something else
going on.
That is a bigger picture and ifI didn't believe that, I would
really still be at a high levelof stress and anxiety.
But you can't just dismisswhat's happening and the
(06:57):
experience that we're having asthese incredibly rich and vital
and incredible souls having thishuman experience, if you don't
sit in the humanity of it, ifyou don't experience the
feelings that you're feeling, ifyou don't look at how it is
(07:17):
affecting you and your life andhow you are in your being.
And this is the piece that Ithink is so important, soul
recovery is where we're actuallylearning how to be with the
world and with our relationshipsin a way that if we can take
judgment off of it, if we canstop seeing what is good or bad
(07:41):
and we just have more ability tosee what is this is what I talk
about with the what is.
Sometimes you're looking atwhat is is not okay, it's not
great, it's not healthy, itisn't aligning with you, it
isn't safe.
What is is not about acceptingeverything in a way so that you
(08:05):
figure out how you personallycan do a better job at being
okay with it.
It's not about being okay withit.
It's about actually seeing itfor what it is and in the midst
of seeing it for what it is, ifyou open up a little bit bigger
to that.
(08:25):
Generally, what you're lookingat is you're looking at a lot of
pain, a lot of inability tomove, for people to be willing
to do the heavy hard work tomake a decision to heal
themselves, to make a decisionto do better in their own life.
And if you look at what'shappening in the larger world,
(08:46):
there's so much control I mean,ultimately everything's about
power and control and control ofmoney and who's saying what?
And you know, can we talk aboutthings, about somebody, people
who don't like our president,and then that's the voices being
quieted and there's all thisfear.
And it's actually a largerrepresentation of a system that
(09:10):
has been happening for a long,long, long, long, long time.
And the way that I look at itfrom a spiritual perception is
that it's just all rattling andcoming to the surface and
showing itself in how you eitherare choosing love or fear in
any moment, no matter what it is.
(09:30):
You're either choosing love orfear and lightness or darkness,
and darkness is not evil,darkness is the absence, of
absence of light and love.
And we get to be in thisexperience where we can start to
look at the what is from thisnew way of seeing and I want you
(09:51):
to really take a look at thewhat is, because the what is is
actually neutral, the what ishappening is actually neutral.
And if we, if we can open up tothis neutrality I was actually
just reading this in the way ofmastery this morning and I was
talking to Rich about how thisparticular spiritual book that
I'm going through every day, Iread two or three of the little
(10:14):
chapters and it's similar to theCourse in Miracles and it's a
channeled work and it talks alot about neutrality work and it
talks a lot about neutralitythat things are just happening,
they just are right.
And there's been thingshappening through the essence of
(10:34):
time since the beginning oftime, even before humans were
here.
Right, like things grow andthings die.
And you look at the animalworld and some animals eat other
animals and they fight and thenthey're okay and then they
shake it off and then they goback to grazing and you know
things are extinct and then theyare reborn and things shift and
change.
There it's neutral, it's beenhappening for a long time.
Then humans come in and thenwe're complex and then we're
(10:56):
fighting with each other andwe're trying to figure out who
we are and all of it is aroundthis learned behaviors and these
systems, that we are makingbeliefs and stories and trying
to make sense of all of it, andwe're constantly creating a
story of what this means.
What does this mean?
(11:17):
Why are they doing this?
How did we get here?
How are we going to fix itRight?
All of that is self preservationand the ability for us to be
able to try to wrap our headsaround stuff that really were
powerless over all the stuff inthe first place, which is why
step two in soul recovery is sopowerful when you really
recognize that we're reallypowerless over everything except
(11:40):
for how we choose to see it.
What is the perception in whichwe are witnessing this neutral
situation?
And it's all of our attachmentto how we think it should be or
what we want it to be.
And all of that actually bringsus and this is in step three,
(12:01):
where you're looking at what areyour beliefs and patterns and
stories and why are you tryingto control, why do you want it
to be different?
What's really going on?
So, if you have somebody in yourlife I'm going to go to this
question who many of us do, manyof you do with thousands of
people in this community on aregular basis.
(12:22):
There's many, many more, butthere's thousands of you that
are coming every single week andlistening to this podcast,
which I'm honored and privilegedthat I have this incredible
community and I guarantee youalmost all of you have this
situation on some level where,here you are, you've done step
one, you've ready for a makeawakening, you've stepped into
(12:43):
this place where you're like I'mgoing to make a decision to see
my world, my life, take mypower back, quit giving
everybody else the power to tellme whether I'm okay or not, and
to start to be curious aboutwho am I and how am I showing up
and what is my growth, how do Ifeel and what am I seeing that
(13:07):
I can change.
That's step one in soulrecovery.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul Recovery SupportGroup on Zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
(13:28):
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the
nine-step soul recovery process,I'm here for you, but you can
also choose to work the steps onyour own, with individual
modules intended to support you,to work at your own pace and on
your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
(13:49):
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find DailyInspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode and now.
(14:11):
We're looking at these beliefs,patterns and stories and
underneath, the power of usunderstanding how we feel is
giving us the information thatwe need to understand what is
actually going on for us, thatwe are here to learn.
(14:31):
If you have somebody in yourlife who is struggling with
their own human experiencethrough addiction or mental
health or anxiety, there is aessential element that we are
aware and present for, andcompassionate for, somebody
(14:51):
else's journey and someoneelse's experience, and the part
in soul recovery that we're allworking so hard on is not being
responsible for their healing,for their growth, that we're not
more invested in what'shappening to them than we are
into, how are we going to bewith it?
And so accepting or being okaywith what is is not the point.
(15:18):
The point is to see what is,with clarity, with compassion,
with an awareness that takes allof our sticky.
Here's what you said you wouldbe for me, and this is the
agreement that we made, and as adad, you're supposed to be this
and as a husband, you'resupposed to be this.
If you can look honestly atsomebody who is in the depths of
(15:43):
their despair, the dark nightof the ego, when you can look at
it from your clear, spirituallyconscious self, you will know
whether they are invested inhealing and choosing love, or
whether they are invested infear and choosing harm, and we
(16:08):
are powerless over which onethey choose, but we can see what
they are choosing and from that, we're looking at it from our
new angle, which is we areinvested in choosing healing and
love for ourselves and thecompassion that you can have for
(16:28):
somebody who may be in a placein their life where they aren't
able to get their head abovewater.
Aren't able to get their headabove water, and it's incredibly
painful and complicated towatch somebody else drowning,
but, as I've said in otherpodcasts.
It's like we go out there likethe lifeguard and we've got the
(16:52):
lifesaver, whatever those thingscalled the life floaty thing,
and we've got all the stuff.
When we run out there andthey're drowning and and we're
trying to give them all thetools to save themselves, and
they're just pummeling you,they're just dumping you
underwater, they're justdragging you under, and there's
(17:12):
a moment when a lifeguard has tochoose their own life over
saving the person who's drowning, because that's whose life
you're here to have, is yours.
And so you leave theinformation out there, the life
preserver out there, and theycan decide whether they're going
to grab a hold of it.
(17:32):
And you know what so manypeople when they're in the midst
.
I mean, if you really thinkabout the actual drowning right,
how terrifying it is thatyou're not in your right mind,
that, even though there'ssomebody there to save you, you
can't get your head into theplace that says, oh, calm down.
You know, stop resisting, stopfighting, stop.
You know pushing the otherperson under the water.
(17:54):
Notice that they're here tohelp you, just relax.
Not everybody picks that.
And this is the part where weare really stepping into this
deep level of tenderness andcompassion to everybody in their
own experience, and this is theplace where you can kind of
come from that higher view andlook down and say, on some level
(18:16):
, everybody's here to learnwhatever it is they're supposed
to learn, however hard theychoose to learn it from.
We can't possibly understandthe levels of pain and suffering
and trauma and real,unconscious and subconscious
(18:37):
beliefs and stories that areunderneath there, just dragging
them under.
But this is the beauty that weeach have a choice.
Always, every single day, youhave a choice about how you're
going to show up in your ownexperience experience,
(19:02):
recognizing your feelings, usinghow it feels to you to be the
incredible gift that teaches usmore about ourselves and how we
feel and what's going on with us.
And so, being in a space withsomebody who is in struggle and
you see that they are choosinglove and helping from themselves
, but it doesn't look the waythat we would like, it's not as
fast as we would like, orthey're not going to rehab like
(19:23):
we want them to, or they're not,you know, doing the therapy, or
they're doing the work.
That's the moment when you lookand you say am I trying to
control this?
Am I trying to save them?
Am I trying to do for them sothat I'll be okay.
If you believe and know thatthey are on, however slow it is,
the path to recover your soulfor themselves, their own soul
(19:45):
recovery, and that is okay.
For you to give them space andto be a support to them while
you are putting your primaryfocus on yourself to be able to
be in your world and yourhealing and your spiritual
growth and your nine-step soulrecovery process, then it might
(20:08):
make sense to do that worktogether, that there's something
that you're doing together,that it's a mirror, it's
offering you information.
But we are constantly beinginvited to be resourced for
clarity of what we need.
And it gets really complicatedright here, because I'm having
(20:28):
this visual of somebody who'sgot kids and a husband who's
making choices.
Now listen, I was there.
I was there.
I had a husband who drank a lotand I'm thinking of when he was
building the cabin and he wasgone for almost three years
(20:51):
during the week and then wouldcome home on weekends and worked
all through the winter buildingthis cabin for my mom, living
out of a tent, and they drank somuch, and he would come home on
the weekends and he'd just beexhausted and hungover and short
and I had a baby and a toddlerand I had these expectations of
(21:15):
what I thought a marriage wasgoing to be and how I thought my
husband was going to be and howI thought my husband was going
to show up for me and he wasproviding on a financial level
but he wasn't providing on anemotional level, on a father
level, the way that I wanted.
And I think the thing that whenI can look back and have space
on what that felt like and whatthat looked like to me and
(21:38):
reading back in the journals youknow I'm working right now with
my co writer, maddie, on therecover your soul memoir book
about my journey of my soulrecovery, which is really all of
our stories right, we're, we'reso, we're so in this together.
You know, and I was reading inmy journals about those years
when Rich was in the cabin andthere was so much loneliness in
(22:01):
my marriage.
I had all of these views andexpectations of what I thought
my life was going to look like.
I had this storybook vision ofwhat a husband would be like and
what fathers would be like andand I wanted kids and I wanted
this family and I had an fatherswould be like and and I wanted
kids and I wanted this familyand I had an expectation of how
(22:22):
that was going to look and itwas not looking like that at all
and it was really hard becausehe was stressed out and he was
drinking and he was volatile.
And when you're in the middleof that, I think the thing to do
is to like recognize that youhave to give yourself grace,
because that part of my life,when I look back on it, had so
(22:44):
many jewels of my own strengththat I wasn't really standing in
, and the beauty of therelationship that I had with my
children and the ability to seehow much resources and vitality
I had in myself.
But I didn't recognize them atthe time because I was so hyper
(23:09):
focused on what I wasn't gettingfrom Rich and what I can see.
Now that's changed.
I mean I'm still married to thesame person.
See, now that's changed.
I mean I'm still married to thesame person.
We are not the same people.
That person who had thatexperience was actually a
different person and it'sstrange that we have these
(23:29):
different chapters in our liveswhere we really are completely
different people, because weboth grew through all of it, but
there was never a moment inthose younger years where I
didn't feel safe physically,emotionally.
I didn't like what washappening.
I journaled a lot about whetherI was going to stay or go, or
(23:51):
what I wanted or this wasn'twhat I wanted.
Those feelings are giving youinformation.
Those feelings are giving youinformation and what Abraham
Hicks talks about.
Who is Esther Hicks?
Who channels Abraham?
This wisdom is Abraham.
She says that when you havethese moments where you really
feel what doesn't work for you,those are moments of clarity,
(24:14):
because it's giving you moreinformation about how you feel,
to give you more pull to connectto the universe, to say what
you do want.
But it's not about leaning inso deeply into what isn't
working, because then you'reactually in the problem and not
in the opening of something else.
And so this is where it getsreally complicated, because we
(24:38):
are in these relationships withthese human beings who are
having these experiences thatare very complex.
This was something that hereally wanted to do.
He was in his 30s.
It was really when you'reestablishing your identity and
(25:05):
the way that they made itthrough these very difficult
sleeping in tents, living off ofa generator, pooping in the
woods I mean the whole thingright, like the way that they
handled this was the fuel ofalcohol.
Why?
Because he was given drinkingas the way to be in everything.
Because alcoholism had beenhanded down from generation to
generation to generation as thenumber one solution.
(25:28):
So I can see all that now, butI couldn't see it when I was in
the middle of it, and thehealing that came in my own life
that I think that is sopowerful is not that you stay if
it's not good.
I implore you to not be inrelationships that are dangerous
(25:52):
, where you have to abandonyourself, where where you are
not safe emotionally, physically, financially, right, like
that's that looking at what iswith clarity, the neutrality,
and being able to take all thestickiness off of it and say
this is not okay for me, it'snot okay for my kids?
(26:13):
This person is not makingchoices to do better for
themselves.
This is not a place where I cangrow.
If you are in a situation thatis really despondent, this is
where you lean into a spiritualfoundation that says can I
actually trust this as part ofmy journey to understand that I
(26:34):
can and will be okay outside ofthis can and will be okay
outside of this, I can and willbe okay outside of this and that
I will be resourced with what Ineed.
And when you stop blamingeverybody else and being a
victim of thinking the world isall over you and this is
terrible there's a strength thatshows up in you that gives you
(26:54):
the next step, the next step,the next step, the next step In
my relationship with Rich.
What I can see now from whereI'm at was it was this
opportunity for me to understandmore about me.
He was just being him right,like he didn't really think his
(27:14):
drinking was as bad as I did thewhole time through, and it
wasn't until we got sober thefirst time, almost 15 years ago,
that he really looked at it ina way that was different from
you.
Know, this is just what we do,and he's danced with it until I
(27:34):
think a year ago.
A little bit over a year ago iswhen he had his last drink.
So it's been his journey.
But that is the part that it'slike if we turn the attention to
ourselves, if we step out ofour codependent.
It's my job to fix everybody.
If I don't like what it is, I'mgoing to fix it.
I'm going to make this work.
(27:56):
I'm going to make this better.
I'm going to make him better.
These'm going to make thisbetter, I'm going to make him
better.
These are these old, limitingbeliefs that we're discovering
in step three.
And then a step four.
We're, like I can and willconnect and commit to being in
co-creation with a higher powerof my understanding and trust
that this is for me, this is formy well-being, and I'm going to
(28:20):
see what is not, through all ofthe layers of old story or old
dysfunction, or I'm determinedto make this work, I'm
determined to stay and fix it,but from like real curiosity to
yourself, it's like what ishappening for me?
How can I raise my light?
(28:40):
How can I understand more aboutmyself?
How can I release this is stepfive release the pattern stories
that do not serve me, that arenot true, that are not true.
When I looked at my lifeoutside of the fantasy that I
had created, I actually startedseeing parts that were beautiful
(29:05):
, that I was missing because Iwas so caught up in what my
fantasy wasn't.
And that's really where I am inmy life today, as I've stepped
into my new, authentic, wholeself, which is step six, like
stepping into your new beliefs,patterns and stories.
When I look at my life now notfrom dysfunction, not from the
(29:30):
part of me that thinks I'mresponsible for everybody or I
have to fix everybody or I'm theone that comes last I'm in a
state where I've actually chosenmyself in a way that I never
thought I had permission tobefore and in that there's
actually more awareness andseparation and detachment in my
(29:51):
relationship with my husband.
He has always been a reallygood financial provider.
He's always worked really hardand that was one of the things
that, for me, kept me sort of inin those years that were really
hard, because at least at leasthe was doing that part Right.
(30:12):
And I know many of you are insituations where your person
isn't even doing that part andthat is really really painful.
To really look at the what isand see that whatever's going on
for this person, they are justso lost in the woods.
(30:32):
You know, none of us are brokenand it's not like there's
something wrong with any of us,but we get lost in the
wilderness.
As Brene Brown says, we're lostin the wilderness and only they
can find their way through, butyou are in your own wilderness.
So you know, the interestingthing is you get these DMs, or
(30:57):
even in working with people andcoaching.
And if there was some simpleanswer that would be like yep,
leave that one, nope, stay inthat one.
Oh, here's how to help that one.
That's not how it works, justlike how what's going on with
our country right now.
It's got to work it through.
The only way to the other sideis through it.
(31:19):
It's not about spiritualbypassing and just pretending
like everything's la la and it'snot about controlling and
trying to fix it and force itand make it be different and
better.
It's about coming back to yourheart, coming back to your own
resourced self, looking at whatis from a neutral standpoint and
(31:42):
, from that, having more clarity.
Is this love or fear?
Can I choose love over fear?
Can I let go of control and seewhat is and, from this space,
recognize whether this is astick it out?
We're figuring it out together.
I can stop having all theseexpectations of what I think
(32:03):
it's going to look like.
Really turn to myself, my ownhealing, my own beliefs, my own
stories.
Sometimes some of the greatesthealing that can happen is to
stay in the midst of the storm,and other times you cannot heal
in the midst of the storm.
Only you know that answer foryourself.
What is acceptable to oneperson won't work for somebody
(32:25):
else.
There is no one rule aroundthis except that your soul
recovery, your process, yourcoming more fully into who you
are as your full, authentic,beautiful you are as your full,
authentic, beautiful, talented,incredible soul that you are can
(32:53):
absolutely let go of all ofthis old, tired, untrue,
limiting beliefs and storiesthat have kept you trapped in a
cage where the door's been wideopen the whole time.
That you can decide to step outof the cage and to be clear
about who you are and what youwant in your life, and that you
can trust that the universe isgoing to open that for you Now.
Does that mean that there'ssome Prince Charming and some
(33:14):
beautiful house and some perfectfriends and no one ever has any
problems and the money justfalls off the trees for you?
No, that's crap.
That's another weird, you know,fairy tale that we have.
Life is challenge, life iscomplicated.
Life is about constantlychoosing your sovereign state of
(33:35):
your own wellbeing, yourhappiness, and leading
constantly to what sparks energyin you.
That's what the feelings areall about.
When it doesn't feel good, it'stelling you something, and when
it does feel good, that'stelling you something.
And if you need other people totell you how to feel, that's
telling you something.
(33:55):
This is your learning.
So the big answer is I can'tgive you an answer.
That is, that this isn't aboutsome one size fits all about
what to do.
It's about you getting moreclarity for yourself, about you
can be okay when the worldaround you are making other
choices.
(34:15):
You can choose to detach andnot watch the news and all the
things that are happening on theoutside and attend to yourself,
and you can be in arelationship, whether you're
actually staying in therelationship or not.
(34:35):
But you can look at therelationships in your life
around you and say how am Ilearning from this?
What is mine to do, and can Ilove somebody unconditionally
enough to let it go and let themfind their own way, knowing
that I will absolutely beresourced and that I can trust
(34:58):
that this is part of a largerpicture for me.
That is giving me moreinformation about my grand
experience, my curriculum, myschool of earth, my life earth
school.
It's not about being perfect.
It's about being fully awakeand conscious in your experience
(35:23):
, continually letting go ofeverybody else's experience to
determine your okayness, yourvalue, your worth, your
wholeness.
You are whole, you are enough,and if those people in your life
who are struggling so muchcould see their worthiness and
their value and their wholeness,they wouldn't make those
(35:46):
choices for themselves.
So model that by doing the workfor yourself, by healing
yourself, you are indeed makingchange in the world that you may
not see right away, but isprofound and huge.
Healing yourself is your numberone priority, and sometimes
(36:06):
healing yourself means makingbig choices that are around you,
choosing you Until next time,namaste, thank you for listening
and I hope that that helpssupport your soul recovery
process.
(36:28):
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the Recover your Soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
(36:49):
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
(37:09):
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
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