April 28, 2025 • 35 mins
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I know firsthand how hard it is to watch your grown kids struggle with addiction or mental health challenges. In this episode, I open up about my own family’s journey, the real emotions that come with loving someone through their darkest moments, and the Soul Recovery tools that have helped me find peace—one day at a time.
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Episode Transcript
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Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
Many of you have found this podcast because
you, as I do, have adult kidswho struggle with addiction.
And maybe it's not addiction,maybe it's mental illness or
some sort of dysfunction.
And watching children that youlove so much make choices that
feel like not the right choicesfor you can be really tough for
(00:20):
seven years.
Of course, I want my kids tomove into a sober, sobriety
lifestyle, like I have, justbecause I got sober at 48, I
want them to not have to gothrough everything that I went
through on all those years toget to where I am today.
But what I recognize is that weare all on our own journeys and
(00:40):
the amount of energy that Ihave spent in trying to fix and
help them had kept me fromhelping myself, had kept me from
asking spirit source whateveryou call it to choose my own
path and to find unconditionallove that allows me to be
present and loving to my kids,no matter where they're at in
(01:01):
their season of sobriety or not.
We are each on our own journeyin our own time, on our own path
and finding our own way.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
a happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
(01:24):
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
(01:46):
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Welcome to the Recovery Soulpodcast and community.
I'm Rev Rachel.
Thank you so much for choosingto be here with me today.
I am truly honored and gratefulfor this amazing community and
that you continue to choose tocome back week after week.
(02:06):
Or maybe you're new, maybeyou're just checking it out, or
we're glad you're here.
If you've been listening to thepodcast for a while, I have a
favor to ask you, and that isafter you listen to this episode
, will you just hit that fivestar button wherever you listen
to this podcast, so that we cancontinue to grow the community.
Thank you, wherever you listento this podcast, so that we can
continue to grow the community,thank you.
(02:28):
Today's episode is aroundaddiction and this is why many
of you are here.
Many of you found this podcastbecause I was so inspired by
Al-Anon early on.
You know, I got sober from myown addiction to alcoholism
seven years ago and that was itsown whole journey.
And then I started attendingAl-Anon with the same level of
intensity that I was doing formy recovery from addiction and
(02:51):
really realized that my realissue was codependence, that I
was so enmeshed with my familyand I was so uncomfortable with
their discomfort that drinkingbecame my way of being in my
body and drinking is addictive,it just is.
Alcohol is addictive.
So I became addicted to alcoholand it became my entire world
(03:16):
for a while because I wasuncomfortable in my entire world
.
So it kind of goes hand in handin terms of what those are.
And then I had two kids who aregenetically predispositioned
for addiction because their dadhas the genetic predisposition
for addiction.
I have it too.
It just is different for me, Ithink the drinking kids who are
(03:41):
addicts and I know many of youhave come because I've talked
about Al-Anon and I've talkedabout how can we be in
relationship with people who areeither continuing to be in
addiction or in recovery oftheir own choosing and we're
here in soul recovery to chooseourselves, to allow ourselves,
to be in these situations withpeople and to stop trying to
(04:05):
control them and to come back toourselves.
And this episode is reallyaround my adult children who
continue to be addicts.
And you know that a coupleweeks ago we had the episode
that Bodhi shared about a seasonof sobriety that he's in while
the season's over and that'shard.
It's hard to wonder what that'sgoing to look like and although
(04:26):
he hasn't completely fallen offthe face of the planet on some
you know, crazy ride, just theknowing that that season that
really was being helpful to himis has taken a turn and he gets
to choose.
I recorded this episode atleast once already and then got
to almost to the end andrealized I wasn't telling the
(04:49):
story that I want to tellbecause it isn't about their
story and most of us come intothese situations because we
think it's about their story andI can give you the information
that is around the choices thatmy adult children are making to
continue to choose to drink andthat's part of the story.
(05:09):
That's definitely part of it.
But the bigger reason we'rehere in soul recovery is because
we are working really hard tochoose our own happiness, to
have a spiritual path for ourown health, for our own
well-being, for our own joy, forour own inner peace, and that
may mean that the people aroundus continue to choose to be
(05:33):
addicts.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
about the nine-step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on Zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the
(05:55):
nine-step soul recovery process,I'm here for you, but you can
also choose to work the steps onyour own, with individual
modules intended to support you,to work at your own pace and on
your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
(06:17):
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode I wasreflecting on.
One of the most popular podcastepisodes is the Three C's of
(06:40):
Al-Anon that I did two years ago.
It's Al-Anon's three C's didn'tcause it, can't control it,
can't cure it, and betweenYouTube and on the regular
Audible podcast on Spotify andApple and every place that it is
.
It's been downloaded over30,000 times.
The other most popular one isaround detachment, which I did
(07:02):
in the first season, which wastalking about Alex and using the
detachment bookmark and howimportant that was in my life
and that one's been downloadedover 40,000 times.
So these two episodes that arearound Al-Anon concepts and how
they've been so impactful in myown life have helped to bring
you here.
(07:22):
I'm not Al-Anon, I'm notspeaking for Al-Anon.
I am grateful for Al-Anon and Iknow how incredibly important
it was for me in those earlyyears to begin to look at those
principles and they opened me upto something else.
Well, in that episode of thethree C's there was a comment on
the YouTube, because you canleave comments on YouTube, which
(07:43):
is great, and most of thecomments are always really
positive.
I've had in all of these yearsjust a handful of comments that
are either frustrated that I'mtalking about Al-Anon and it's
not official Al-Anon literatureTotally get it.
Understand those comments andI'm again not here to be Al-Anon
and this one was one that Ireally thought a lot about.
(08:04):
Al-anon and this one was onethat I really thought a lot
about and her response was younormalized it, meaning alcohol
as a coping mechanism when theywere in their formative years.
It is your fault.
I've thought about this so muchand long before this comment, I
thought about this and I haveepisodes around.
Are we to blame?
What is the remorse that wehave around it?
Because there is some truththat says I did raise my kids in
(08:26):
a home where alcohol was normaland it was normalized as the
coping mechanism.
And when I'm in thesesituations where I'm watching my
children choosing alcohol astheir coping mechanism, as their
reward, as their solution,there is a part of me that
thinks if I had done itdifferent, if I had been
different, if I had not had itin our lives at all, then it
(08:49):
would be different.
Well, just the other day, asAlex was opening his Easter
basket because I was just inCalifornia for two weeks to
visit Alex and his girlfriendand the new baby who is two
months old, and Bodie showed upand my mom came in.
Rich stayed behind because hehas a new job and he couldn't
get away for the couple weeksthat I was gone, so we had our
(09:11):
whole family together, anyway.
So Alex opens up his Easterbasket and he has all this candy
and he talked about how much heloves candy and he said we
never had any candy growing up,so I'm obsessed with having
candy.
Interesting, right, I raisedthem in a home where we ate
(09:31):
pretty clean food.
They had ADHD, so I didn't givethem dyes as much as possible.
I was really mindful not togive them reds and yellows and
dyes and blues, and we made abig deal about that, about not
having candy very often.
And here they are.
They're like these.
Both of them are totallyaddicted to sugar and I didn't
(09:52):
create an environment that said,sure, eat all the junk food
that you want.
That was not at all what ourhouse was, but we did have a
house that had alcohol in it,and so it makes sense that it
would be easy for them to choosethat as their solution.
Well, I disagree with her finalsentence, which says it is your
(10:13):
fault.
I disagree with that Because,ultimately, we all came from
various upbringings that hadvarious ways of being, whether
you had parents who were sostrict or so crazy or so
enmeshed with their owndysfunction, or had such high
(10:33):
expectations.
I mean, we all have this wildride of humanity and it comes in
all shapes and sizes and we getthose patterns imprinted on us
Absolutely and a lot of our corewounds come from these very
complex relationships.
It is the nature of being ahuman being, but in the end we
(10:56):
get to choose.
Basically, starting around 16years old, we are making a
conscious decision and then bythe time you're in your early
20s, when your frontal cortexhas really come in, then you're
really beginning to make adecision and I think that it's
really complicated to takeresponsibility for your own life
(11:17):
.
It's so much easier to blamesomebody else and to say you did
this to me, you made me feelthis way.
Blame somebody else and to sayyou did this to me, you made me
feel this way.
This is why I'm like this, isbecause you were like that.
That really takes aresponsibility off of ourselves
to recognize that in each momentwe are choosing a way of living
, a way of seeing, and that'swhy you're here, is because
(11:39):
you're making that choice.
And so when I recorded thisepisode in the beginning, I kind
of went into more depth of whatthe stories are.
You know that I had been inCalifornia for a couple days and
was already kind of having thisawareness around Alex's daily
drinking and what that lookslike, and that part of me that
that just wishes it wasdifferent, because of course I
(12:02):
do and I'm entitled to myfeelings.
I'm entitled to wish that theydidn't have to go through what I
did.
But I pretty quickly moved to aplace of acceptance and an
awareness that it's really mydiscomfort that I'm experiencing
in that situation.
Because I went through it.
I know what all that feels like.
(12:22):
I would just love for him tobypass all of that.
And he and his girlfriend aredoing a beautiful job with their
son, little Rocky's, two monthsold.
He is thriving.
He was starting to smile andcoo while I was there and
they're just their own peoplehaving their own life.
Does it look like what I like,ideally, quote unquote would do
(12:44):
no, but it's not mine.
It's not mine.
They are doing a beautiful jobat the house that they live in,
the life that they live in, therelationship that they live in,
and they're working their stuffout.
And that was really helpful forme because it'd been such a
difficult birth and I had gonehome and not witnessed their day
to day.
So going and seeing their dayto day was really healing for me
(13:07):
.
Well then Bodhi comes into townand we have this great
conversation about sobriety andnot 10 minutes later he's
drinking a beer.
And I'm like what happened tosobriety?
And he said, oh, I'm not doingany drugs or anything, I'm just
having beers every once in awhile.
And my heart just broke becauseI know the slippery slope that
(13:27):
that can take.
But I get to choose what I'mgoing to do with those feelings
and in that experience of havingthese two kids who are, who
continue to choose the path thatthey're on, I went to my
journal.
I highly recommend journaling.
Journaling allows you to a slowdown your brain enough to not
(13:52):
just be in the spin and you haveto have conscious time to think
out wow, do I feel what isgoing on for me?
And sometimes it needs to bethe thing where you just dump
and vent.
We all are entitled to dumpingand venting, but then it's a
space where I connect to myhigher self and I connect to
(14:14):
those parts of me that have beendoing this soul recovery work
for such a long time now andhave such success in the peace
that I feel.
And when I do that and I'm inthe journal and I ask questions,
I'll do a little cue forquestion and I'll say how can I
show up in this?
What am I to learn about thisfor myself?
What can I do here to love themand still be authentic to
(14:39):
myself?
And then I'll put a little Aand I'll just start writing.
And when you are asking yourhigher self and your connection
to something greater still, toyour higher power, for the
answers that are not for them,the answers are for you.
What I got back was remember tostay in your lane.
(15:00):
Remember to love them throughwhatever journey they have to
take.
Remember that you too, justlike them, went through the
darkness or used these tools.
Remind yourself to be presentin your most authentic highest
self.
Love them unconditionally.
Love them unconditionally,which means that whatever that
(15:23):
journey is, that you allow themas if we're allowing them right,
like as if we have any control,that you accept whatever that
is for them.
But you're entitled to beingdisappointed, you're entitled to
being heartbroken, you'reentitled to being sad and over
the.
(15:44):
We had a lovely time together asa family and there was a whole
bunch of old behaviors that I amnot a big fan of and I watched
how it pricked that part of methat has a very strong memory of
some really really difficulthard times, memory of some
really really difficult hardtimes, and we've made it through
(16:05):
those hard times.
But then I had the memory abouthow much work we've all been
doing and that if I'm the onewho's going to have control of
my own thoughts, if I have thepower to choose how I'm going to
see it, if I'm going to do thepractice, the principles that I
told them, you get to pick yourattitude, choose a good one and
(16:26):
growing up, I get to be aparticipant in whether I'm going
to go into that part of mewants to control and nitpick and
blame and be shaming of thesebehaviors or whether I'm going
to recognize that they have tofigure this out.
I'm going to recognize thatthey have to figure this out,
(16:47):
which means that it might beokay.
Maybe you know there's thateven keel.
There's a lot of people whohave pretty steady drinking
their whole life and it just isthe way that they do it and I
can't be the one to judge and tosay that it's going to look any
different and it might have togo down a dark road, that it's
going to look any different andit might have to go down a dark
road because that's their pathto take.
Now I have many of you thateither work with me in coaching
(17:11):
or have sent emails and I am soappreciative of your
communication with me, eitherthrough the one way texts or
through the emails that havesome really difficult situations
with kids, where the kids arehomeless, where you're trying to
help them and they seem likethey want the help but then they
don't.
Where they really are stuck inthe darkness and my heart goes
(17:35):
out to you.
My heart goes out to you and Iwant you to know how we feel
those situations.
And so it isn't something thatis just so easy to say oh, just
detach with love.
You know, just follow the sevendetachments from the Al-Anon.
It's really about stayingconscious in your own experience
(17:57):
and this part that I continueto be so grateful for in my own
healing journey and soulrecovery, to be so grateful for
in my own healing journey andsoul recovery, that working the
nine steps of soul recovery hasgiven to me is a place to come
more and more strongly into myspiritually grounded self,
because my human self can't helpbut want to attach and connect
(18:18):
to the solution for them, to fixit for them, to make it not be
as hard for them, or to try itfor them to make it not be as
hard for them, or to try to letthem have some sort of insight.
If I could just save them fromwhatever.
And it's not that I don't dosome things that I probably
should do differently.
I think that's why you guyslove me so much is because I'm
(18:39):
here with you.
I get it.
I'm not perfect.
I'm not doing it perfect withyou.
I get it.
I'm not perfect, I'm not doingit perfect.
Do I lay awake at night?
Yes, I lay awake at nightsometimes, but my prayer has
changed from oh God, spirit,universe.
Do this for them, thisbeseeching prayer.
(18:59):
Can you make it be this way forBodhi?
Make it be this way for Alex?
Do this for them.
Do this for them.
The prayer has turned and it'shelp me, help me, help me see
this differently.
Give me the strength to be ableto love them unconditionally.
Allow me to be at peaceregardless of what's happening.
(19:21):
Hold my heart here.
Help me to be a light.
Help me to see this from themost healthy perspective.
Help me has become the prayer.
And when I remember that that'sreally the only control that I
have for me to help me reallythe only control that I have for
(19:49):
me to help me Then that levelof desperately wanting to make
it be different loosens up,because I couldn't catastrophize
and go down dark holes becausewe were there, because we were
there.
Or maybe you are in that momentwhere you are there, but soul
recovery is this reminder thatyou are indeed being held by
something greater still that cangive you some just moment of
(20:13):
hope and peace for yourself.
That this interaction that wehave with these people in our
lives is complicated becauseultimately, we all have our own
responsibility to choose our ownhappiness.
And at one point on the tripwith Alex I told him that when I
(20:34):
had left after the baby wasborn and it had been, you know,
such a kind of rough ride that Ifound myself getting really
afraid that he was going to falldown some sort of spiral and
dark hole of depression again.
And he looked me right in theeyes and he said, mom, I hope
and pray I'll never be that darkagain?
I don't think I will, and Ithink this is what he said.
(20:57):
I think every single day abouthow lucky I am, and he said I'm
so grateful for my life, I'mgrateful for my girlfriend, I'm
grateful for the job that I have, I'm grateful to have a baby,
I'm grateful to have this car.
And he named off some verybasic life gratitudes, which
really gratitude is thefoundation of a spiritual
(21:19):
practice, and I could feel that,knowing in him that he is so
much stronger and so much moreaware than I give him credit for
, because I get caught in seeingand witnessing the addict, 16
year old, who was completelyfallen apart 10 years ago.
Well, he was falling apart 10years ago because he was only 16
(21:41):
and that was the best that hehad at that time.
So I get to choose where I'mgoing to show up for him and how
I'm going to see him, and thatconversation really shifted how
we were together for the nexttwo weeks because I was able to
come back into my grounded,centered place and to remind
myself I am going to see him aswhole and he's making these
(22:04):
choices.
So did he smoke weed while Iwas there?
Absolutely.
Did he drink?
Almost every day.
I was there, he did, but youknow what he was showing up as
himself and he was okay, he wasgood, he was attentive to his
son, he was attentive to hisgirlfriend.
You know, they have a life.
That is their life.
They are choosing and areresponsible for their life.
And he is choosing to not besober.
(22:28):
And at the end of the trip Isaid some snarky comment of some
sort, but I probably said aboutsobriety, and he looked me in
the eyes and he said at somepoint you're going to have to
stop trying to make me be sober.
He's right, because it is thatpiece.
That's crazy, that even througheverything, I'm still saying
something kind of offhanded inthe hopes that maybe he'll get
(22:51):
it.
And then, with Bodhi, eventoday, I sent him the episode
that he just did around his ownsobriety and I said be careful,
addiction is a slippery slopeand remind yourself what wise
and beautiful words you said inthis podcast.
And then I have to let it go,because I can catastrophize and
(23:14):
go into a dark place thatremembers and and saw where he
was two years ago or a year ago.
Well, he's not in that placeand I'm responsible to recognize
his wholeness, I'm responsibleto accept him for wherever he's
at, and this encouragement thatI felt from spirit in my
(23:36):
journaling was this deepreminder to stay in my own
healing, to recognize that wehave to let go of this piece
where we think that we knowbetter for them or this is what
they should do.
This is their soul's journey.
I did create an environment fromthem when they were younger
(23:59):
that normalized drinking, but Idid not create them choosing
addiction when they have had amom who has been sober, solid in
doing this practice and has awhole career around how to be
detached from your adult kidswho are addicts for seven years,
and that there were three and ahalf years in the 15 years ago
(24:24):
where I was sober then too andthere was always this pull and
this desire to try to move intoa healthier place.
We were always conscious ofthat and they have that within
them.
So if I'm responsible for howI'm showing up, I'm going to be
in that space and again I'm justthinking about those of you who
(24:48):
have kids in particular who arein really dark places, and all
the spirituality that I read andlisten to reminds me that
there's so much more than whatwe can see, and that the love
that spirit has for each of usisn't contingent on this wild
ride of humanity that we haveand sometimes these choices that
(25:12):
we make of whatever thisexperience is, whatever the
karma is.
It's hard to understand whythat has to be the case, but the
more that we step intounconditional love and see past
that and allow them to havewhatever that experience is
which again does not mean thatwe don't show up in our best
(25:33):
self or that we don't offer helpwhen they are ready and needing
of a hand we let go of controland we let go of that part that
thinks it's our job to fix ormake it be different, or for
them to have a different life,or all the manipulation or the
(25:53):
comments that we're trying tomake them be something else.
We know we're powerless overthat.
We've tried that, we've seenthat it doesn't work, and the
more that I let my boys havethis life, which includes all
these seasons of sobriety thatthey've both had ever since they
were younger, because they bothstarted using when they're
(26:16):
about 13 years old.
They've had DUIs and they'vehad rehabs and they've had, you
know, seasons of this andseasons of that.
This is their journey of themfinding themselves and if I can
just lift up enough to recognizethat they too, just like me,
are in their own process ofdiscovering who they are and
(26:37):
healing from their own wounds,and that if I can see them for
their wholeness, they're morelikely to see that for
themselves and they're morelikely to not slip down the
slippery slope and again theymight.
They might and I'm entitled tobe sad and disappointed and have
grief around it.
And one of my recognitions isthat one of the boundaries that
(27:03):
I've set, in a way, is to notlive in the same state as them,
and I know many of you are insituations where you don't have
that sort of luxury to be in alocation that's different.
But the ability for us toreally be in our own experience,
our own energy bubble, and topull our energy back constantly
(27:25):
and and reset ourselves, is theprocess of staying awake, about
staying conscious in the midstof it, even if you have a moment
where you totally fall off andyou're in the throes of control
and upset and trying to fix itand you come back and you remind
yourself I am powerless overtheir addiction, I'm powerless
(27:48):
over their choices.
They are indeed choosing it.
I did not create this.
I disagree with this woman'sstatement that says it is.
She has it in capitals.
It is your fault, I disagree.
Capitals it is your fault, Idisagree.
So many of us have come fromvery complicated upbringings and
(28:16):
we've made choices about whatour lives are going to be like,
and I'm here to support you tomake the choice in your life.
To say that sometimes it meansthat you have to physically
distance yourself, emotionallydistance yourself, create that
level of detachment that'salways holding love.
Love does not mean that youhave to be in their presence.
Love means that youunconditionally give them to the
universe and you choose yourown, healthiest self and
(28:41):
whatever that looks like for you.
I want to hold space that myboys are smart enough that
they've witnessed enough ofrecovery, that they have these
tools available to them, thatthey have to go through whatever
their experiences are, and thatthey are entitled to their
lives of whatever that is.
(29:02):
And I have to remind myself ofthis on a regular basis because
I want to fix it for them.
I want to make it be differentfor them, but it's actually not
my job to do that.
My job is to heal me.
My job is to ask spirit to saveme, to let go of my beliefs, my
(29:23):
old wounds.
To let go of my beliefs, my oldwounds, to update my operating
system and to stand in my mostauthentic self.
That's the greatest gift that Ican give them and to love them
unconditionally.
There's no black and white inthis.
It's gray, and each family ineach situation is unique.
Into your own, and the key isalways to check in with your
(29:47):
higher self and to allowyourself to ask the questions of
how can I learn more aboutmyself here?
How can I take care of myselfhere?
How can I put my oxygen mask onfirst here?
How can I be in the way that Ichoose to see it?
That recognizes that we allhave permission and the right
(30:10):
really to make the choices thatwe're going to make, but you do
not need to suffer for the deedsof somebody else.
You do not need to suffer fromsomebody else's choices, but you
can feel sad from somebodyelse's choices.
The suffering is the clingingand the wanting it to be
different.
Use your spiritual tools togive yourself what you need to
(30:37):
take care of yourself first.
I'm going to continue to love mychildren.
I'm going to continue to lovethem even more fully than ever,
ever, ever, and to witness themas the beautiful human beings
that they are on this wild ride,and to continue to let go of
control and see that this is anopportunity for me to heal me
(31:01):
and to send them light.
So when I do those prayers justlastly, when I do those prayers
to save me, then when I'mfeeling more lowered in my
anxiety, when I'm feeling morecentered, more grounded, I
visualize them surrounded bylight.
I visualize them surrounded bylove.
I visualize them seeing andmaking choices that are aligned
(31:23):
for their highest good.
But that doesn't mean thattheir highest good may not mean
that there's challenges for themto overcome.
We're here to have our ownexperience of our challenges.
That was a recent episode aswell.
I love you all so much and Icannot say enough how strong you
(31:45):
are and how courageous you areto be on this journey, because
what we're witnessing,especially with our grown kids
or our family members or ourspouses, is incredibly painful.
It absolutely is, there's nodoubt.
But we can only choose our ownway of being and we must let go
(32:06):
of control and that belief thatwe have that we are here or need
to fix them or that we may knowbetter for what their
experience needs to be.
Until next time, namaste, thankyou for listening and I hope
that that helps support yoursoul recovery process.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the recovercover your
(32:27):
Soul bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
(32:48):
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
(33:08):
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
Many of you have found this podcast because
you, as I do, have adult kidswho struggle with addiction.
And maybe it's not addiction,maybe it's mental illness or
some sort of dysfunction.
And watching children that youlove so much make choices that
feel like not the right choicesfor you can be really tough for
(00:20):
seven years.
Of course, I want my kids tomove into a sober, sobriety
lifestyle, like I have, justbecause I got sober at 48, I
want them to not have to gothrough everything that I went
through on all those years toget to where I am today.
But what I recognize is that weare all on our own journeys and
(00:40):
the amount of energy that Ihave spent in trying to fix and
help them had kept me fromhelping myself, had kept me from
asking spirit source whateveryou call it to choose my own
path and to find unconditionallove that allows me to be
present and loving to my kids,no matter where they're at in
(01:01):
their season of sobriety or not.
We are each on our own journeyin our own time, on our own path
and finding our own way.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
a happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
(01:24):
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
(01:46):
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Welcome to the Recovery Soulpodcast and community.
I'm Rev Rachel.
Thank you so much for choosingto be here with me today.
I am truly honored and gratefulfor this amazing community and
that you continue to choose tocome back week after week.
(02:06):
Or maybe you're new, maybeyou're just checking it out, or
we're glad you're here.
If you've been listening to thepodcast for a while, I have a
favor to ask you, and that isafter you listen to this episode
, will you just hit that fivestar button wherever you listen
to this podcast, so that we cancontinue to grow the community.
Thank you, wherever you listento this podcast, so that we can
continue to grow the community,thank you.
(02:28):
Today's episode is aroundaddiction and this is why many
of you are here.
Many of you found this podcastbecause I was so inspired by
Al-Anon early on.
You know, I got sober from myown addiction to alcoholism
seven years ago and that was itsown whole journey.
And then I started attendingAl-Anon with the same level of
intensity that I was doing formy recovery from addiction and
(02:51):
really realized that my realissue was codependence, that I
was so enmeshed with my familyand I was so uncomfortable with
their discomfort that drinkingbecame my way of being in my
body and drinking is addictive,it just is.
Alcohol is addictive.
So I became addicted to alcoholand it became my entire world
(03:16):
for a while because I wasuncomfortable in my entire world
.
So it kind of goes hand in handin terms of what those are.
And then I had two kids who aregenetically predispositioned
for addiction because their dadhas the genetic predisposition
for addiction.
I have it too.
It just is different for me, Ithink the drinking kids who are
(03:41):
addicts and I know many of youhave come because I've talked
about Al-Anon and I've talkedabout how can we be in
relationship with people who areeither continuing to be in
addiction or in recovery oftheir own choosing and we're
here in soul recovery to chooseourselves, to allow ourselves,
to be in these situations withpeople and to stop trying to
(04:05):
control them and to come back toourselves.
And this episode is reallyaround my adult children who
continue to be addicts.
And you know that a coupleweeks ago we had the episode
that Bodhi shared about a seasonof sobriety that he's in while
the season's over and that'shard.
It's hard to wonder what that'sgoing to look like and although
(04:26):
he hasn't completely fallen offthe face of the planet on some
you know, crazy ride, just theknowing that that season that
really was being helpful to himis has taken a turn and he gets
to choose.
I recorded this episode atleast once already and then got
to almost to the end andrealized I wasn't telling the
(04:49):
story that I want to tellbecause it isn't about their
story and most of us come intothese situations because we
think it's about their story andI can give you the information
that is around the choices thatmy adult children are making to
continue to choose to drink andthat's part of the story.
(05:09):
That's definitely part of it.
But the bigger reason we'rehere in soul recovery is because
we are working really hard tochoose our own happiness, to
have a spiritual path for ourown health, for our own
well-being, for our own joy, forour own inner peace, and that
may mean that the people aroundus continue to choose to be
(05:33):
addicts.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
about the nine-step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on Zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the
(05:55):
nine-step soul recovery process,I'm here for you, but you can
also choose to work the steps onyour own, with individual
modules intended to support you,to work at your own pace and on
your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
(06:17):
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode I wasreflecting on.
One of the most popular podcastepisodes is the Three C's of
(06:40):
Al-Anon that I did two years ago.
It's Al-Anon's three C's didn'tcause it, can't control it,
can't cure it, and betweenYouTube and on the regular
Audible podcast on Spotify andApple and every place that it is
.
It's been downloaded over30,000 times.
The other most popular one isaround detachment, which I did
(07:02):
in the first season, which wastalking about Alex and using the
detachment bookmark and howimportant that was in my life
and that one's been downloadedover 40,000 times.
So these two episodes that arearound Al-Anon concepts and how
they've been so impactful in myown life have helped to bring
you here.
(07:22):
I'm not Al-Anon, I'm notspeaking for Al-Anon.
I am grateful for Al-Anon and Iknow how incredibly important
it was for me in those earlyyears to begin to look at those
principles and they opened me upto something else.
Well, in that episode of thethree C's there was a comment on
the YouTube, because you canleave comments on YouTube, which
(07:43):
is great, and most of thecomments are always really
positive.
I've had in all of these yearsjust a handful of comments that
are either frustrated that I'mtalking about Al-Anon and it's
not official Al-Anon literatureTotally get it.
Understand those comments andI'm again not here to be Al-Anon
and this one was one that Ireally thought a lot about.
(08:04):
Al-anon and this one was onethat I really thought a lot
about and her response was younormalized it, meaning alcohol
as a coping mechanism when theywere in their formative years.
It is your fault.
I've thought about this so muchand long before this comment, I
thought about this and I haveepisodes around.
Are we to blame?
What is the remorse that wehave around it?
Because there is some truththat says I did raise my kids in
(08:26):
a home where alcohol was normaland it was normalized as the
coping mechanism.
And when I'm in thesesituations where I'm watching my
children choosing alcohol astheir coping mechanism, as their
reward, as their solution,there is a part of me that
thinks if I had done itdifferent, if I had been
different, if I had not had itin our lives at all, then it
(08:49):
would be different.
Well, just the other day, asAlex was opening his Easter
basket because I was just inCalifornia for two weeks to
visit Alex and his girlfriendand the new baby who is two
months old, and Bodie showed upand my mom came in.
Rich stayed behind because hehas a new job and he couldn't
get away for the couple weeksthat I was gone, so we had our
(09:11):
whole family together, anyway.
So Alex opens up his Easterbasket and he has all this candy
and he talked about how much heloves candy and he said we
never had any candy growing up,so I'm obsessed with having
candy.
Interesting, right, I raisedthem in a home where we ate
(09:31):
pretty clean food.
They had ADHD, so I didn't givethem dyes as much as possible.
I was really mindful not togive them reds and yellows and
dyes and blues, and we made abig deal about that, about not
having candy very often.
And here they are.
They're like these.
Both of them are totallyaddicted to sugar and I didn't
(09:52):
create an environment that said,sure, eat all the junk food
that you want.
That was not at all what ourhouse was, but we did have a
house that had alcohol in it,and so it makes sense that it
would be easy for them to choosethat as their solution.
Well, I disagree with her finalsentence, which says it is your
(10:13):
fault.
I disagree with that Because,ultimately, we all came from
various upbringings that hadvarious ways of being, whether
you had parents who were sostrict or so crazy or so
enmeshed with their owndysfunction, or had such high
(10:33):
expectations.
I mean, we all have this wildride of humanity and it comes in
all shapes and sizes and we getthose patterns imprinted on us
Absolutely and a lot of our corewounds come from these very
complex relationships.
It is the nature of being ahuman being, but in the end we
(10:56):
get to choose.
Basically, starting around 16years old, we are making a
conscious decision and then bythe time you're in your early
20s, when your frontal cortexhas really come in, then you're
really beginning to make adecision and I think that it's
really complicated to takeresponsibility for your own life
(11:17):
.
It's so much easier to blamesomebody else and to say you did
this to me, you made me feelthis way.
Blame somebody else and to sayyou did this to me, you made me
feel this way.
This is why I'm like this, isbecause you were like that.
That really takes aresponsibility off of ourselves
to recognize that in each momentwe are choosing a way of living
, a way of seeing, and that'swhy you're here, is because
(11:39):
you're making that choice.
And so when I recorded thisepisode in the beginning, I kind
of went into more depth of whatthe stories are.
You know that I had been inCalifornia for a couple days and
was already kind of having thisawareness around Alex's daily
drinking and what that lookslike, and that part of me that
that just wishes it wasdifferent, because of course I
(12:02):
do and I'm entitled to myfeelings.
I'm entitled to wish that theydidn't have to go through what I
did.
But I pretty quickly moved to aplace of acceptance and an
awareness that it's really mydiscomfort that I'm experiencing
in that situation.
Because I went through it.
I know what all that feels like.
(12:22):
I would just love for him tobypass all of that.
And he and his girlfriend aredoing a beautiful job with their
son, little Rocky's, two monthsold.
He is thriving.
He was starting to smile andcoo while I was there and
they're just their own peoplehaving their own life.
Does it look like what I like,ideally, quote unquote would do
(12:44):
no, but it's not mine.
It's not mine.
They are doing a beautiful jobat the house that they live in,
the life that they live in, therelationship that they live in,
and they're working their stuffout.
And that was really helpful forme because it'd been such a
difficult birth and I had gonehome and not witnessed their day
to day.
So going and seeing their dayto day was really healing for me
(13:07):
.
Well then Bodhi comes into townand we have this great
conversation about sobriety andnot 10 minutes later he's
drinking a beer.
And I'm like what happened tosobriety?
And he said, oh, I'm not doingany drugs or anything, I'm just
having beers every once in awhile.
And my heart just broke becauseI know the slippery slope that
(13:27):
that can take.
But I get to choose what I'mgoing to do with those feelings
and in that experience of havingthese two kids who are, who
continue to choose the path thatthey're on, I went to my
journal.
I highly recommend journaling.
Journaling allows you to a slowdown your brain enough to not
(13:52):
just be in the spin and you haveto have conscious time to think
out wow, do I feel what isgoing on for me?
And sometimes it needs to bethe thing where you just dump
and vent.
We all are entitled to dumpingand venting, but then it's a
space where I connect to myhigher self and I connect to
(14:14):
those parts of me that have beendoing this soul recovery work
for such a long time now andhave such success in the peace
that I feel.
And when I do that and I'm inthe journal and I ask questions,
I'll do a little cue forquestion and I'll say how can I
show up in this?
What am I to learn about thisfor myself?
What can I do here to love themand still be authentic to
(14:39):
myself?
And then I'll put a little Aand I'll just start writing.
And when you are asking yourhigher self and your connection
to something greater still, toyour higher power, for the
answers that are not for them,the answers are for you.
What I got back was remember tostay in your lane.
(15:00):
Remember to love them throughwhatever journey they have to
take.
Remember that you too, justlike them, went through the
darkness or used these tools.
Remind yourself to be presentin your most authentic highest
self.
Love them unconditionally.
Love them unconditionally,which means that whatever that
(15:23):
journey is, that you allow themas if we're allowing them right,
like as if we have any control,that you accept whatever that
is for them.
But you're entitled to beingdisappointed, you're entitled to
being heartbroken, you'reentitled to being sad and over
the.
(15:44):
We had a lovely time together asa family and there was a whole
bunch of old behaviors that I amnot a big fan of and I watched
how it pricked that part of methat has a very strong memory of
some really really difficulthard times, memory of some
really really difficult hardtimes, and we've made it through
(16:05):
those hard times.
But then I had the memory abouthow much work we've all been
doing and that if I'm the onewho's going to have control of
my own thoughts, if I have thepower to choose how I'm going to
see it, if I'm going to do thepractice, the principles that I
told them, you get to pick yourattitude, choose a good one and
(16:26):
growing up, I get to be aparticipant in whether I'm going
to go into that part of mewants to control and nitpick and
blame and be shaming of thesebehaviors or whether I'm going
to recognize that they have tofigure this out.
I'm going to recognize thatthey have to figure this out,
(16:47):
which means that it might beokay.
Maybe you know there's thateven keel.
There's a lot of people whohave pretty steady drinking
their whole life and it just isthe way that they do it and I
can't be the one to judge and tosay that it's going to look any
different and it might have togo down a dark road, that it's
going to look any different andit might have to go down a dark
road because that's their pathto take.
Now I have many of you thateither work with me in coaching
(17:11):
or have sent emails and I am soappreciative of your
communication with me, eitherthrough the one way texts or
through the emails that havesome really difficult situations
with kids, where the kids arehomeless, where you're trying to
help them and they seem likethey want the help but then they
don't.
Where they really are stuck inthe darkness and my heart goes
(17:35):
out to you.
My heart goes out to you and Iwant you to know how we feel
those situations.
And so it isn't something thatis just so easy to say oh, just
detach with love.
You know, just follow the sevendetachments from the Al-Anon.
It's really about stayingconscious in your own experience
(17:57):
and this part that I continueto be so grateful for in my own
healing journey and soulrecovery, to be so grateful for
in my own healing journey andsoul recovery, that working the
nine steps of soul recovery hasgiven to me is a place to come
more and more strongly into myspiritually grounded self,
because my human self can't helpbut want to attach and connect
(18:18):
to the solution for them, to fixit for them, to make it not be
as hard for them, or to try itfor them to make it not be as
hard for them, or to try to letthem have some sort of insight.
If I could just save them fromwhatever.
And it's not that I don't dosome things that I probably
should do differently.
I think that's why you guyslove me so much is because I'm
(18:39):
here with you.
I get it.
I'm not perfect.
I'm not doing it perfect withyou.
I get it.
I'm not perfect, I'm not doingit perfect.
Do I lay awake at night?
Yes, I lay awake at nightsometimes, but my prayer has
changed from oh God, spirit,universe.
Do this for them, thisbeseeching prayer.
(18:59):
Can you make it be this way forBodhi?
Make it be this way for Alex?
Do this for them.
Do this for them.
The prayer has turned and it'shelp me, help me, help me see
this differently.
Give me the strength to be ableto love them unconditionally.
Allow me to be at peaceregardless of what's happening.
(19:21):
Hold my heart here.
Help me to be a light.
Help me to see this from themost healthy perspective.
Help me has become the prayer.
And when I remember that that'sreally the only control that I
have for me to help me reallythe only control that I have for
(19:49):
me to help me Then that levelof desperately wanting to make
it be different loosens up,because I couldn't catastrophize
and go down dark holes becausewe were there, because we were
there.
Or maybe you are in that momentwhere you are there, but soul
recovery is this reminder thatyou are indeed being held by
something greater still that cangive you some just moment of
(20:13):
hope and peace for yourself.
That this interaction that wehave with these people in our
lives is complicated becauseultimately, we all have our own
responsibility to choose our ownhappiness.
And at one point on the tripwith Alex I told him that when I
(20:34):
had left after the baby wasborn and it had been, you know,
such a kind of rough ride that Ifound myself getting really
afraid that he was going to falldown some sort of spiral and
dark hole of depression again.
And he looked me right in theeyes and he said, mom, I hope
and pray I'll never be that darkagain?
I don't think I will, and Ithink this is what he said.
(20:57):
I think every single day abouthow lucky I am, and he said I'm
so grateful for my life, I'mgrateful for my girlfriend, I'm
grateful for the job that I have, I'm grateful to have a baby,
I'm grateful to have this car.
And he named off some verybasic life gratitudes, which
really gratitude is thefoundation of a spiritual
(21:19):
practice, and I could feel that,knowing in him that he is so
much stronger and so much moreaware than I give him credit for
, because I get caught in seeingand witnessing the addict, 16
year old, who was completelyfallen apart 10 years ago.
Well, he was falling apart 10years ago because he was only 16
(21:41):
and that was the best that hehad at that time.
So I get to choose where I'mgoing to show up for him and how
I'm going to see him, and thatconversation really shifted how
we were together for the nexttwo weeks because I was able to
come back into my grounded,centered place and to remind
myself I am going to see him aswhole and he's making these
(22:04):
choices.
So did he smoke weed while Iwas there?
Absolutely.
Did he drink?
Almost every day.
I was there, he did, but youknow what he was showing up as
himself and he was okay, he wasgood, he was attentive to his
son, he was attentive to hisgirlfriend.
You know, they have a life.
That is their life.
They are choosing and areresponsible for their life.
And he is choosing to not besober.
(22:28):
And at the end of the trip Isaid some snarky comment of some
sort, but I probably said aboutsobriety, and he looked me in
the eyes and he said at somepoint you're going to have to
stop trying to make me be sober.
He's right, because it is thatpiece.
That's crazy, that even througheverything, I'm still saying
something kind of offhanded inthe hopes that maybe he'll get
(22:51):
it.
And then, with Bodhi, eventoday, I sent him the episode
that he just did around his ownsobriety and I said be careful,
addiction is a slippery slopeand remind yourself what wise
and beautiful words you said inthis podcast.
And then I have to let it go,because I can catastrophize and
(23:14):
go into a dark place thatremembers and and saw where he
was two years ago or a year ago.
Well, he's not in that placeand I'm responsible to recognize
his wholeness, I'm responsibleto accept him for wherever he's
at, and this encouragement thatI felt from spirit in my
(23:36):
journaling was this deepreminder to stay in my own
healing, to recognize that wehave to let go of this piece
where we think that we knowbetter for them or this is what
they should do.
This is their soul's journey.
I did create an environment fromthem when they were younger
(23:59):
that normalized drinking, but Idid not create them choosing
addiction when they have had amom who has been sober, solid in
doing this practice and has awhole career around how to be
detached from your adult kidswho are addicts for seven years,
and that there were three and ahalf years in the 15 years ago
(24:24):
where I was sober then too andthere was always this pull and
this desire to try to move intoa healthier place.
We were always conscious ofthat and they have that within
them.
So if I'm responsible for howI'm showing up, I'm going to be
in that space and again I'm justthinking about those of you who
(24:48):
have kids in particular who arein really dark places, and all
the spirituality that I read andlisten to reminds me that
there's so much more than whatwe can see, and that the love
that spirit has for each of usisn't contingent on this wild
ride of humanity that we haveand sometimes these choices that
(25:12):
we make of whatever thisexperience is, whatever the
karma is.
It's hard to understand whythat has to be the case, but the
more that we step intounconditional love and see past
that and allow them to havewhatever that experience is
which again does not mean thatwe don't show up in our best
(25:33):
self or that we don't offer helpwhen they are ready and needing
of a hand we let go of controland we let go of that part that
thinks it's our job to fix ormake it be different, or for
them to have a different life,or all the manipulation or the
(25:53):
comments that we're trying tomake them be something else.
We know we're powerless overthat.
We've tried that, we've seenthat it doesn't work, and the
more that I let my boys havethis life, which includes all
these seasons of sobriety thatthey've both had ever since they
were younger, because they bothstarted using when they're
(26:16):
about 13 years old.
They've had DUIs and they'vehad rehabs and they've had, you
know, seasons of this andseasons of that.
This is their journey of themfinding themselves and if I can
just lift up enough to recognizethat they too, just like me,
are in their own process ofdiscovering who they are and
(26:37):
healing from their own wounds,and that if I can see them for
their wholeness, they're morelikely to see that for
themselves and they're morelikely to not slip down the
slippery slope and again theymight.
They might and I'm entitled tobe sad and disappointed and have
grief around it.
And one of my recognitions isthat one of the boundaries that
(27:03):
I've set, in a way, is to notlive in the same state as them,
and I know many of you are insituations where you don't have
that sort of luxury to be in alocation that's different.
But the ability for us toreally be in our own experience,
our own energy bubble, and topull our energy back constantly
(27:25):
and and reset ourselves, is theprocess of staying awake, about
staying conscious in the midstof it, even if you have a moment
where you totally fall off andyou're in the throes of control
and upset and trying to fix itand you come back and you remind
yourself I am powerless overtheir addiction, I'm powerless
(27:48):
over their choices.
They are indeed choosing it.
I did not create this.
I disagree with this woman'sstatement that says it is.
She has it in capitals.
It is your fault, I disagree.
Capitals it is your fault, Idisagree.
So many of us have come fromvery complicated upbringings and
(28:16):
we've made choices about whatour lives are going to be like,
and I'm here to support you tomake the choice in your life.
To say that sometimes it meansthat you have to physically
distance yourself, emotionallydistance yourself, create that
level of detachment that'salways holding love.
Love does not mean that youhave to be in their presence.
Love means that youunconditionally give them to the
universe and you choose yourown, healthiest self and
(28:41):
whatever that looks like for you.
I want to hold space that myboys are smart enough that
they've witnessed enough ofrecovery, that they have these
tools available to them, thatthey have to go through whatever
their experiences are, and thatthey are entitled to their
lives of whatever that is.
(29:02):
And I have to remind myself ofthis on a regular basis because
I want to fix it for them.
I want to make it be differentfor them, but it's actually not
my job to do that.
My job is to heal me.
My job is to ask spirit to saveme, to let go of my beliefs, my
(29:23):
old wounds.
To let go of my beliefs, my oldwounds, to update my operating
system and to stand in my mostauthentic self.
That's the greatest gift that Ican give them and to love them
unconditionally.
There's no black and white inthis.
It's gray, and each family ineach situation is unique.
Into your own, and the key isalways to check in with your
(29:47):
higher self and to allowyourself to ask the questions of
how can I learn more aboutmyself here?
How can I take care of myselfhere?
How can I put my oxygen mask onfirst here?
How can I be in the way that Ichoose to see it?
That recognizes that we allhave permission and the right
(30:10):
really to make the choices thatwe're going to make, but you do
not need to suffer for the deedsof somebody else.
You do not need to suffer fromsomebody else's choices, but you
can feel sad from somebodyelse's choices.
The suffering is the clingingand the wanting it to be
different.
Use your spiritual tools togive yourself what you need to
(30:37):
take care of yourself first.
I'm going to continue to love mychildren.
I'm going to continue to lovethem even more fully than ever,
ever, ever, and to witness themas the beautiful human beings
that they are on this wild ride,and to continue to let go of
control and see that this is anopportunity for me to heal me
(31:01):
and to send them light.
So when I do those prayers justlastly, when I do those prayers
to save me, then when I'mfeeling more lowered in my
anxiety, when I'm feeling morecentered, more grounded, I
visualize them surrounded bylight.
I visualize them surrounded bylove.
I visualize them seeing andmaking choices that are aligned
(31:23):
for their highest good.
But that doesn't mean thattheir highest good may not mean
that there's challenges for themto overcome.
We're here to have our ownexperience of our challenges.
That was a recent episode aswell.
I love you all so much and Icannot say enough how strong you
(31:45):
are and how courageous you areto be on this journey, because
what we're witnessing,especially with our grown kids
or our family members or ourspouses, is incredibly painful.
It absolutely is, there's nodoubt.
But we can only choose our ownway of being and we must let go
(32:06):
of control and that belief thatwe have that we are here or need
to fix them or that we may knowbetter for what their
experience needs to be.
Until next time, namaste, thankyou for listening and I hope
that that helps support yoursoul recovery process.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the recovercover your
(32:27):
Soul bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
(32:48):
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
(33:08):
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
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