July 7, 2025 • 50 mins
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In this episode I am talking about addiction—not just the big, obvious ones like alcohol, but the subtle, often socially accepted habits like sugar, scrolling, shopping, or constant busyness that keep us disconnected from our wholeness. Even after more than seven years of sobriety from alcohol, I’m still looking at behaviors and uncovering patterns that no longer serve me… and that’s what Soul Recovery is all about.
I walk you through the full 9-Step Soul Recovery Process and share how I’m using it—right now—to address my own sugar addiction from a spiritual perspective. This isn’t about shame or discipline. It’s about curiosity, compassion, and the willingness to see what we’ve been using to protect ourselves and begin to make new choices that support our highest good.
If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a behavior you know isn’t serving you… if you’ve made promises to yourself and broken them… if you’re longing to feel more alive, more aligned, and more at peace with your body, mind, and spirit I hope you will find inspiration and a process for healing with Soul Recovery.
This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison or guests. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.
Rev. Rachel Harrison and Recover Your Soul www.recoveryoursoul.net
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
Today I'm going to use the nine step soul
recovery process to walk throughhow you can use it to heal from
and to be able to understandmore about yourself from a
spiritual level for maybe anaddiction or a habit or a
behavior that is not serving you.
I know for me.
I've been working on my sugaraddiction and, even though I've
(00:21):
been sober from alcohol for overseven years now addiction and
even though I've been sober fromalcohol for over seven years
now I know that I want more formyself in my body, mind and soul
.
And this is a next step for me.
So we're going to talk abouthow to use the nine steps for
recovery from addiction.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast a spiritual path to a
(00:42):
happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives, as mine
(01:03):
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast and community.
(01:23):
I'm Rev Rachel and I'm sograteful that you are choosing
in on your path to a happy andhealthy life with me.
Today I'm just going to jumpright in because I want to do
this episode that I've beenpreparing for and thinking about
for a while.
That is around addiction andeven though most of you have
come here because addictionaffects you in some way maybe
(01:44):
you came because of Al-Anon oryou were searching for words and
codependence or people pleasingthis path to a happy and
healthy life that is, soulrecovery has like this elephant
in the room, which is addiction.
But when you come here, youwalk through a door and you
realize, oh, I actually want totake care of myself, I want to
(02:06):
heal myself so that I can dosomething about the elephant in
the room in a new way, to beable to be your most full,
authentic, healed self.
And if you have somebody aroundyou who has addiction, you can
stop trying to change them,trying to save them, and really
remember that we have to healourselves first and foremost.
(02:29):
That's our number one job.
But maybe, like me, you'rerecognizing that you have some
behaviors or some things thatyou are ingesting or taking that
aren't great for you and eventhough I healed from my recovery
of alcoholism seven years ago,I still have some compulsive
(02:51):
behaviors that I'm recognizingin my healing don't benefit me.
They don't benefit me at all.
The one of the main ones iscontinuing to have sugar, a lot
of sweets and sugar.
I love sweets and sugar andit's interesting because, as I
was reading the definition ofwhat is addiction, which reads a
(03:13):
compulsive, chronicphysiological or psychological
need for a habit formingsubstance, behavior or activity
having harmful physical orpsychological or social effects
and typically causingwell-defined symptoms such as
anxiety, irritability, tremorsor nausea upon the withdrawal of
the substances or the state ofbeing addicted.
(03:35):
So that's the officialdefinition of addiction.
When I look at that for myselfin terms of like the compulsive
behaviors that I had when I wasdrinking, it definitely is not
like that, but it's somethingthat as I'm doing it, I'm
thinking to myself there's amuch better choice.
(03:56):
You know this isn't good foryou.
I have pretty substantialarthritis in my hands in
particular and it makes my handshurt and it doesn't feel good,
and I know that my body doesn'tfeel good.
I know it's causinginflammation.
I know that I would be happierwith my weight and I would have
more physical energy if I wasn'tconsuming sugar and sweets.
(04:17):
But I make that choice to dothat and so you could look at
the same thing in terms ofscrolling on your phone.
You could look at maybeshopping or binging on TV.
We could start looking at ourown behaviors and how they are
affecting our well being,especially as we get healthier
and healthier and healthier inour soul, recovered state and
(04:40):
are turning the attention toourselves and not putting all
that energy on the people aroundus to get better so that we can
finally be better.
But then we're looking atourselves now and we're going
hmm, maybe I need to take a lookat am I having a glass of wine
every day?
And even though that's not anaddiction, does it benefit me?
Is it helping me?
(05:01):
Maybe you've been smoking potforever or something that is an,
even a substance, a drug oralcohols that isn't as bad as
the people in your life who arein like level 10 addiction and
you're looking at yourself andsaying maybe I want to do
something about it.
And I also just want to say Ido not want to become an
(05:25):
addiction expert, which is superinteresting, since I have a
podcast that has so much to doaround addiction.
I don't know as much as manyfabulous, wonderful teachers and
scientists and people out therethat are really sharing really
informative and importantinformation about substances and
(05:46):
how they work in your brain andhow they work in your body and
how they were formed, and Idon't want to be the person that
gives you all that information.
There are other people that cando that.
I suggest Gabor Mate.
He has a wonderful book calledHungry Ghosts that has
incredible information about howthat high level of addiction
(06:07):
can be formed within people.
He has a spiritual way oflooking at it.
Annie Grace is amazing withthis naked mind talking about
how alcohol works in your brainand what those systems are.
There's plenty of resources thatare out there on how it goes
into your body and how it canreally form these intense
(06:28):
attachments that that take workto be able to release, and so I
don't want to be the one to talkabout those things because I am
not an expert in that.
I want to talk about it fromthe soul recovery perspective
and how we can use the nine stepsoul recovery process and how I
intend to use it for myself toreally tackle this sweets and
(06:52):
sugar addiction that I have.
So that's what I want to workwith and walk you through today.
I also want to say again, as Isay in many of the podcasts,
take what you need and leave therest.
If I say something that you'relike, well, that's not really
how I see addiction or that'snot really where I've heard it
before.
I'm not trying to say that thisway that I'm talking about it
is the only way and, again, I amno expert in the physiological,
(07:15):
psychological part of how itworks in our brain.
I want to look at it from aspiritual perspective.
So just lean in with me andlet's talk about it from that
spiritual perspective.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
(07:37):
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the
nine-step soul recovery process,I'm here for you, but you can
also choose to work the steps onyour own, with individual
modules intended to support youto work at your own pace and on
(08:00):
your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
(08:21):
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode, what Ithink about addiction and when I
look at it outside of this,this traditional realm, and I
look at it from the spiritualend, which it is a protector,
(08:44):
and it seems strange to say thatit's a protector, but it's
really protecting us fromdiscomfort.
So if you think about let's gowith food, for example, which a
lot of people have foodaddictions, not just sugar, but
like food addictions.
When you're younger and youhave a lot of things in your
life that are either complicatedor painful or needs that aren't
(09:06):
being met, there is food.
So it's an immediate, immediateway to get something that feels
comforting, that feels like youhave control over it.
A lot of people who were out ofcontrol in other places in
their lives they found food isthe place where they could
control.
And it's interesting, just as acaveat, that this is also where
(09:28):
sometimes withdrawal from foodhappens.
When I was anorexic in highschool, I was specifically
anorexic that I can rememberthese feelings, which was I felt
very out of control about myhome life with my dad and my
stepmom and my stepbrother,about my home life with my dad
and my stepmom and mystepbrother, and when I went to
(09:49):
their house it was very painfulfor me and I didn't eat while I
was there and that was my way ofhandling the stress from that,
and then I would come back homeand then I would get a lot of
praise for being thinner and itactually became a control
mechanism.
So it wasn't necessarily forreasons that one might think,
but when I got to the placewhere I understood what it was,
(10:12):
luckily when I was around 16 or17 years old, I was able to
handle that part and say, oh,this is actually a pain response
.
This is a mechanism for how Ican handle my pain, and so it
makes sense that when I turned21 and I really started drinking
in earnest, it was again thisability to deal with the
(10:37):
discomfort.
And when you're scrolling onyour phone or you're shopping or
you're doing something, there'sa dopamine hit that comes.
That is a soothing comfort.
So here we are.
We've been given food as kidsand drugs and alcohol in our
teen and growing up years and asadults, and now we have all
(10:57):
these other mechanisms thatreally keep us protected and
they're keeping us from reallyhandling or dealing with the
very chaotic, very complicatedworld that's around us.
There is more and more and morestimulation all the time, and
it feels more and moreoverwhelming and unmanageable
and out of control.
(11:17):
So of course we're going tolook for something to give us
some sort of hit of how we canfeel better.
And so I think that's the pieceto really understand.
Is that the quote unquoteaddiction or our compulsive
habit isn't weakness.
It's really about a longing.
It's an aching for somethingthat's lost or maybe even was
(11:41):
never given.
And soul recovery isn't aboutfighting that.
It's about listening to it,honoring it and transforming it.
It's about using the process toreally touch in with yourself
and understand more aboutyourself.
And I have this strong knowing,as I continue to heal my full
(12:01):
body, mind and soul through mysoul recovery work, that I want
to be the best self that I canbe.
I want to be healthy, not foranybody else, but for me,
because if I'm going to be herefor a while longer, I certainly
don't want to have the level ofaches and pains that I have in
(12:23):
my body that I know that rightnow.
The level of sugar that I'mconsuming is only adding to that
, because when I do make thatchoice in my life to eat
healthier, 90% of thisincredible inflammation and pain
that I have in my arthritis andin my bones gets better.
(12:44):
So don't I deserve that formyself?
So it's a process of reallymeeting yourself with compassion
and clarity, and each step thatwe do in soul recovery is
really a gentle guide to turnwithin and to remember our
wholeness that's always beenthere within us.
This is what we're calling for.
(13:04):
So I'm going to walk through thenine step soul recovery process
as if you're using it to beable to look at some sort of
behavior or some sort of habitor some sort of compulsion, or
maybe an addiction.
However you're seeing it, touse it as a tool to begin to
(13:25):
turn within and to ask yourselfsome questions that will help
you to want to move into a morehealed state.
I also would recommend that, ifyou are in a situation like I
was, when I was trying to quitdrinking, I couldn't have done
it without 12 step Walking intothose rooms and having other
people give me information andliterally just having to show up
(13:49):
somewhere every day and sayguess what I didn't drink today
was imperative for my healing.
So this isn't to take the placeof if you feel called to go
into some sort of a program.
My hope is that it is anaddition to and if you're
dealing with something that youwouldn't label as an addiction
(14:09):
but you know no longer servesyou, this might be a great place
to start.
So step one in soul recovery isready for awakening, and this is
the place where we say toourselves I am ready for healing
.
This is where it begins.
You recognize, you recognize,you see with clarity in your
(14:29):
life that this behavior, thisaddiction, this habit, however
it's showing up, is costing yousomething that is something that
you don't like.
Maybe it's your peace, maybeit's your vitality, maybe it's
being your authentic whole self,your most healed self, and you
don't minimize it right.
You really look at it for whatis and you stop thinking you're
(14:53):
the exception.
I love that from one of thebooks that I was reading and now
I'm not going to remember whatit was that said that oh, I
think it was the Mel Robbinsbook that we all think that
we're the exception, right.
Like, oh, it's okay that otherpeople might die from heart
disease or you know, whatever itis, but not me, because I'm
(15:18):
good.
We're actually looking atwhatever our situation is and
we're seeing that it is harmingus today.
If I continue to not choose toeat cleanly and healthily, I
will have physical effects downthe road that I don't want.
There's no doubt about it.
There's no doubt about it,right?
So are you willing to look atwhat you've been avoiding?
(15:38):
Are you ready to chooseyourself?
Are you ready to stop judgingyourself as failing and say,
okay, this isn't about failing,this is about grace and asking
yourself am I ready to dosomething about it?
Because the number one strengththat you can have in your
spiritual journey is to make achoice and a decision to do
(16:04):
something different.
If you think about it, a beliefis just a continued choice.
So I can continue to believesomething that isn't going to be
good for me and make thatchoice, or I can make a solid
decision and choice for what isgoing to benefit me and who I
know I want to be.
(16:24):
When I was drinking, I thinkabout how it definitely moved
from a choice of I'm going tohave fun or I'm going to check
out, or you know.
There was definitely plenty oftimes that really were
legitimately fun and then plentyof times that were legitimately
awful and I'm continuing totake in this substance that I
(16:46):
can feel is a poison.
I can feel it.
It was like drinking rubbingalcohol by the time I got to the
end of my addiction and I wouldtell myself I wasn't going to
drink and then I would bedrinking, but the minute I
walked into the AA room onFebruary 10th 2018, it's going
(17:07):
to make me cry.
I made a decision to save mylife and I may tell myself that
sugar is not as bad as alcoholand on some level that might be
true, but on another level, it'sthe same, because if I am going
to save my soul, if I'm goingto save who I am at the depth of
(17:32):
my being, I have to make asstrong of a decision to take
care of myself, to love myselfenough to make choices that are
going to give me the mostlongevity they're going to give
me the most health.
They're going to allow my bodyto work its magic.
(17:53):
Our bodies are magic and so whenyou think about how everything
works within our bodies and howour systems are, the more that
we don't have constant dopaminehits in scroll, scroll, scroll
scrolling or shopping, or, youknow, just numbing watching
shows that are giving us allthis information.
(18:15):
Or eating, food or porn ordrugs and alcohol or whatever it
is.
You're actually invitingbalance and restoring your
system to live in its mostharmonious state, and you
deserve that.
So to make a decision is thestrongest choice that you can
make and that's what Ready forAwakening is is to make a
(18:38):
decision for yourself.
It's a sacred moment where youawaken from the spell of your
self abandonment and tellyourself enough, enough, I am
not going to live like thisanymore.
I deserve more, you deservemore.
And then you move into step two,which is letting go of control,
(18:58):
which is founded on step one inAA, which is admit that you're
powerless over the addiction.
So, in soul recovery speak, weare seeing that we can surrender
to the illusion that we canmanage this through just our
willpower, manage this throughjust our willpower.
(19:23):
Right that we begin to reallysee that we are indeed powerless
over whatever that compulsionor that sugar craving or the
scrolling or the shopping, oryou allow yourself to really see
what it is doing to you, thatit is making the decision for
you instead of you making thechoice about it, that it is a
compulsive behavior.
(19:44):
So one of the things I thinkabout when I'm looking at how I
want to change my life right now, when I finish eating, maybe
I'll eat like a really clean,beautiful salad, right, totally
so delicious, so good.
And almost immediatelyafterwards I get this hit that's
like oh, you got some dessert,you got some chocolate somewhere
(20:06):
, you got a cookie somewhere.
Did you get any ice cream,rachel?
Right, like it is so intense.
And yet, if I just sit with it,and yet if I just sit with it,
if I just sit with it and Iallow myself to say I'm
powerless over this intensecraving that my body has.
(20:27):
My gut now has all thismitochondria or whatever it's
called in there that might evenbe the right word whatever the
gut juice is that has littlebugs and beings in there that
are hungry for sugar, and I'mpowerless over the fact that
that's its response, but I'm notpowerless over whether I
(20:49):
compulsively go to it and when Imake the choice and admit that
I'm powerless over the substance, right Like I will never drink
alcohol again because I know fora fact, after 48 years of
experimenting with it, that assoon as I have alcohol, my body
(21:10):
wants more.
And the truth is, if I cannotplay into the sugar craving
after a meal, it actually goesaway quickly, if I'm honest.
But if I play into it and I goand I go, I'm just going to have
a cookie, five cookies later.
I've played into the part thatI'm actually powerless over it
(21:30):
because it's feeding me, it'stelling me what to do.
Now I'm in my compulsivebehavior.
Or if you get on your phone andyou're like I'm just going to
check my Facebook for a second,I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna
check my Facebook for a second,you know, I'm just gonna couple
couple posts and half an hourlater you have just dove in and
lost yourself in it.
This is that place where we'relooking at that we're powerless.
(21:51):
What is the fantasy that wehave that we can control it,
when it is actually controllingyou and what is it trying to
soothe?
That's the part that's sointeresting when we look at it
from the two sides.
What's the biological, physicalhit?
That is it calling for us?
And then there's this otherside where it's saying I'm
(22:15):
trying to get something that Ineed.
Is it covering pain?
Is it trying to soothe in someway?
What is it doing?
What is this that we arepowerless over?
And what is it saying to us?
You can quit blaming yourselfor thinking that you're not, you
know, strong enough or thatthere's something wrong with you
(22:38):
.
You can just recognize thatthis is an actual truth, that
you're powerless over how thisaffects you, how this hits you,
and that that in itself is sofreeing.
Because when I truly admittedthat I was powerless over
drinking and I decided I'm nevergoing to drink again, then it
(22:59):
quit taunting me Now with sugar.
I watch myself go back andforth between the part that says
I'm going to do absolutely nosugar, I'm going to go hard in.
For the rest of my life, nosugar, and the part of me is
like, oh really, are you goingto?
Can you just cut back?
And I can feel thatpowerlessness.
(23:19):
Can you just cut back?
And I can feel thatpowerlessness and I'm going to
have to work on that.
I can't give you an answerright now.
But what I do know is I want tofeel better and I'm going to
make a substantial shift andchange in what I'm ingesting
into my body and I'm making thatcommitment right.
I no longer want to fight this.
I want to ask spirit to workwith me, to help me, to guide me
(23:41):
.
I want to hand over andsurrender to it.
Step three in soul recovery isdiscover beliefs, patterns and
stories, and here's where weexplore the wounds and the false
beliefs that our addiction isreally trying to numb or hide.
When I am in a not great placeand I'm having habitual sugar.
(24:03):
It is definitely a checkout, itis absolutely a checkout
mechanism, and it's interestingto watch myself do that when I
feel like I'm so awake in somany other areas.
I recently went to a babyshower that was really sweet and
it was a tea party, and so theyhad those beautiful three tiers
(24:27):
with the little tiny littlesandwiches and then scones and
sweets on the top, and I overatesweets.
I watched myself compulsivelyovereat the sweets that were
available, as if it had been anopen bar of wine, and that was a
fascinating thing to look atmyself right.
(24:48):
So that is a pattern.
And what is that pattern?
And it's that something, thatit's trying to give me something
.
It's a false hit.
You know the thing about all ofthese behaviors or things that
we do, or shopping it's allfalsely giving us the thing that
we really want in our life.
(25:09):
It's an empty promise.
For two seconds the dessert isdelicious, and then, as I was
driving home, I was so full andI felt so yucky and over sugared
.
I knew that it wasn't good forme.
And isn't that interesting,like we do this thing that we
know isn't good for us.
So in this one we're looking atwhat is the pattern?
(25:33):
You know, it's not random tohave these compulsions or these
addictions or these habits.
It's rooted in survival.
The protection mechanism is soprofound and we begin to unearth
the stories that are drivingthe behavior.
It's like am I not good enough?
Is that what's reallyunderneath, that I have to
(25:56):
behave a certain way, or I haveto look a certain way, or that
food's the only thing that cancomfort me, or sugar's, you know
my special sweet treat.
This is something I can control, or this is mine.
This is how I take care ofmyself, or I'm just doing it
because everyone else like whatare the stories?
What are the deep down storiesFor me, one of the things that I
(26:19):
recognize in sugar addictionfor myself is that I didn't have
a lot of sugar when I wasgrowing up because we were
hippies and we didn't have verymuch money and my mom was really
trying to be health consciousas well, and so one of her
stories that she tells us thatwhen I was like three or four
years old, we went to someone'shouse that had white sugar and
white flour and I had never seenwhite sugar or white flour
(26:40):
before.
And sweet treats for me werethat we would go to the health
food store and get pressedcarrot juice and that was like
the sweetest treat that I couldhave.
And by the time I got older anddiscovered candy, it was almost
like this compulsive.
It was almost like thiscompulsive.
(27:03):
I wanted it because I couldn'thave it.
And I wonder if that has apiece of that, like the story
that I tell myself that there'ssome younger part of myself that
that wants for that.
It actually is.
I'm thinking about it.
It's very similar to to clothing.
I didn't have very much clothesgrowing up, and so when I got
to the place where I could startto buy my own clothes.
I always wanted to make surethat I had lots to choose from.
(27:26):
Same with food in my house.
I grew up with some foodinsecurity Not that my parents
would actually say that that'swhat they think that we had, but
as a little girl I rememberthat there was not much to
choose from, and so at my housemy pantries are full.
So when you look at thosebehaviors if I'm living from
(27:46):
those behaviors of that likecompulsion, like I've got to get
another piece of clothes orI've got to make sure my
refrigerator is packed or I'vegot to have sweets on hand,
that's not a healthy way ofbeing.
That's actually the fear,that's the protection of
survival.
And those are the parts thatwe're looking at.
And again, in soul recovery,it's not judgment, we're looking
(28:07):
at them from compassion andgrace.
But to be able to see wherethose come from gives us the
ability to step more furtherinto the process.
So then we move to step four,which is open to co-creating
with a higher power or spirit orGod, or whatever you want to
call it.
This is where you invite yourhigher power as a loving
(28:31):
co-creator into your own healing.
And it's not about fixing, it'sa partnership right, we're not
having them fix it for us orthat there's something wrong
with us.
There's nothing wrong with us.
We're just being able to see itfrom a new way.
We're recognizing how we'reusing this protection mechanism
(28:52):
in a way that no longer servesus.
Maybe it never served us, butat this point it definitely
doesn't serve us and we want tobe healed.
We want to be whole.
We want to be our fullest, mostauthentic, healed, happy, whole
selves.
When you work with your higherpower and partnership, you
recognize that you've beentrying to do it by yourself.
You know a lot of pain comesfrom the belief that you're all
(29:16):
alone.
I had somebody the other daysay you come in alone and you
die alone and I said I don'tbelieve that.
I think we come in with sourceand God and spirit and higher
power surrounding us, higherconsciousness, and it is with us
the entire time and with uswhen we leave, wherever we may
go.
I don't think we're ever alone,but when you're alone and you
(29:40):
feel alone, it becomes easier tohabitually move into unhealthy
behaviors, unhealthy ways oftreating your body, and we want
to be treating ourselves well.
So when you're connected to yourhigher power, you recognize
that you're always being held,you're always being offered
(30:04):
guidance and love and support,and you don't have to force
through anything.
You can just open and ask forhelp.
Spirit, help me see myself withlove, help me make different
choices, help me feel what Ineed, to feel safely.
And when I do this, when I stepinto that place and I know that
(30:25):
I'm being called to eat adifferent way, it's because that
love, that wholeness, that partof me that wants to fully
embrace everything so well,wants to be able to not have
pain, wants to have a body thatworks well, that feels good, and
(30:45):
that is the number one thing.
And I don't have to do it alone.
So then, in step five in soulrecovery, we are releasing the
patterns that don't serve us.
Here's where you bless what youare letting go of.
We're not rejecting it, we'renot judging it, we're not saying
that we did something wrong,we're not condemning ourselves.
You don't shame your addictionIn a way you want to thank it in
(31:24):
my life, where I was in mydrinking and my life was so
painful and so difficult thatthose moments where I could be
checked out saved my life, and Ithink that that's sometimes a
hard concept for people tounderstand, because there's
always this opportunity forpeople to step into their
authentic and awakened and wholeselves.
But we also can't possiblyunderstand where people are in
(31:46):
terms of their own healingjourney and the pain that they
feel within themselves.
So to release patterns andstories that no longer serve us
isn't easy.
You have to actually have alevel of compassion and courage
and a willingness to step fullyinto an entirely new way of
(32:06):
being.
Part of that is to thank theprotectors, the ways that we saw
the world, because that's whatkept us safe at whatever time it
was.
Because that's what kept ussafe at whatever time it was and
we've talked about this a lotin codependency, healing from
our people, pleasing and controladdiction.
Now we're looking at it insomething that we might be doing
(32:30):
as a behavior or as a drugs andalcohol, putting it into our
body and how it's affecting us.
Can we thank it for theprotection that it offered us
when we didn't have differenttools?
Now we're going to giveourselves different tools and
now we just love it.
Love it and release it.
See that it felt like the onlyway maybe to get something that
(32:55):
you needed or wanted.
When I'm scrolling sort of justmindlessly scrolling on TikTok
or Instagram or Facebook orwhatever.
There's a piece where Irecognize that I'm getting the
kind of connection when you'rein that space where you're
hearing people's stories.
That's a connection that I longfor, and so when I see that
(33:21):
that's the part of me longingfor connection, I can thank the
part of me that's searching forit, and I know that I want to
search for it in different ways,that there are other, more
healthy ways for me to be ableto access that.
And the other thing that Ithink is so important is we give
ourselves grace that sometimesit feels like being numb was the
(33:44):
best choice, or being checkedout, or using these mechanisms
to get the reward that wethought that we needed.
And what if you're really atthis place in your life where
you're ready to not be numb,you're ready to feel, you're
ready to not be numb, you'reready to feel, you're ready to
heal?
This is an incredible step oftransmutation.
(34:06):
This is where your pain becomesyour light.
This is where your shamebecomes your grace.
To release what doesn't serveyou, to release those beliefs
that this is the only way orthat there's something wrong
with me or I'm not enough or Ican't control this to truly just
(34:26):
gracefully and openly bewilling to let them go, because
then we move into step six,which is embracing new beliefs
and rewriting your story.
I love the nine steps wholerecovery process as it has come
in to me over the last year anda half.
I could not have more gratitudefor how it continues to deepen
(34:48):
and as I work on the books andhave more work with people and
I'm doing the modules on thesteps on the website, it's like
it's blossoming like a beautifulflower right and we get to
create a new way of being.
We are free to choose and make adecision.
We are making a decision tochoose a different path.
(35:12):
You know why?
Because you are given free willand when you co-create with the
higher power of yourunderstanding, you're actually
being opened up to thisunlimited possibility of a life
beyond your wildest dreams, thatyou're being resourced with
everything that you need toembrace the truth of who you are
(35:32):
to be in a narrative that isn'tthose old limiting beliefs, but
a narrative that's like I'msafe to be in my body, I'm
allowed to enjoy life withoutthese behaviors or whatever it
is that you're doing.
I am safe here, I am happy here.
I'm enough Just as I am.
(35:53):
I don't need to treat my bodythis way.
I don't need to shop, I don'tneed to have porn, I don't need
to scroll, I don't need to eatsugar, because I'm going to make
a choice that benefits me.
And I want to be healthy.
I want to be whole.
As a matter of fact, I amhealthy, happy and whole and
(36:14):
free.
You're claiming it in a new wayand you're shifting from I have
to fix myself, there'ssomething wrong with me to I am
becoming who I am here to be.
I'm opening to the fullness ofmyself and I can be free of
(36:35):
these compulsive behaviors.
I can be free of it and youstart to really recognize that
this is the truth of who you are, which is why we move into step
seven, aligning with a newperception.
You can begin to live from yourspiritual truth, not the old
programming, not the old fears,not the old beliefs.
(36:57):
You're living in your decisionto truly step into your
authentic self, your whole,healed self.
And when I think about that formyself, I want to make food
decisions that make my bodyhealthy, that make my body
(37:22):
healthy, strong, fit, that givemy systems the best ability to
do the miraculous work that theydo to really allow myself to
have all the energy and vitalitythat I want in my life.
And I know that I feel likecrap when I overeat sugar in
every way.
And I know that the truth ofwho I am, in my new perception,
(37:42):
is that I don't want to livelike that, nor do I have to.
And this is where you begin tonotice and have awareness,
without the shame, without theblame, without the feeling
guilty.
So, instead of being in theplace where you recognize, maybe
you're starting to scroll oryou're noticing that you're on
(38:06):
Amazon again, you know, oryou're back into having sugar,
what you know, whatever thosethings are.
Maybe you're doing somethinglike drinking, maybe you're
looking at like drinking, maybeyou're looking at, wow, like I'm
having another glass of wine.
We're having an awareness ofwhat the trigger is and we're
having a compassionate dialoguewithin ourselves.
(38:28):
This is where I talk to myself,and I do it all the time.
I'm constantly having theselovely conversations with myself
inside, because I used to havereally critical conversations
with myself inside and now I'vemade friends with myself and I
love myself.
So I'll have an awareness.
I'll be like oh really, what'sthat about.
(38:48):
Okay, so you're having thepowerless over a sugar craving,
but you're wanting to lean intoit.
Is there something else goingon?
Yeah, well, I'm actuallyfeeling kind of bored and lonely
right now.
Oh, okay, you're feeling boredand lonely, so what else could
you do right now to take care ofthat?
Well, I could call a friend orI could go for a walk, or yeah,
(39:11):
that'd be a really good idea.
You're recognizing that you canlive within your own boundaries,
that you're setting foryourself, that support your
healing, and you live more fromyour higher self and not from
your survival self.
In this step You're aligningwith your new perception.
Perception is how we are seeingthe world from a new lens, and
(39:33):
when you see yourself from thelens of healed, loving,
beautiful, wonderful wholeness,it becomes harder and harder and
harder to want to make choicesthat are harmful to you,
regardless of what those are.
And that that is the entiregift of living in a spiritual.
(39:56):
That is the entire gift ofliving in a spiritual, whole,
happy space where we're choosingfor ourself because we love
ourself enough to make choicesthat align with the truth of who
we are and who we are showingup to be in our lives today.
So step eight is deepening yourspiritual practice day.
(40:17):
So step eight is deepening yourspiritual practice, and this is
where you begin to truly createrituals and rhythms that
nourish your soul, instead ofthe compulsive behavior,
addiction.
This is where you arenourishing your wholeness,
instead of those old behaviors.
This is where you place rightand I think this is such a
foundational part of 12-step aswell, which is 12-step is a
(40:39):
spiritual journey.
The end of 12-step is havinghad a spiritual awakening as the
result of these steps.
Right, you are replacing whatseemed like the solution with a
new solution, and this newsolution is a connection to the
higher power of yourunderstanding, and the new
(41:04):
solution is a connection to yourwhole being, to your wholeness,
to the beauty of who you are,and you don't, you know, demean
or or judge yourself aboutwhatever these behaviors or
habits are.
You love yourself.
You fill it with light, withlove, compassion.
We're just filling, floodingourselves with this tenderness,
with this kindness, with this.
(41:25):
Of course this was the way thatI thought that I could get what
I needed, or, of course, thiswas the most soothing thing.
But now I have better tools,now I see myself more, and when
you deepen your spiritualpractice.
You're replacing thosemechanisms.
So maybe you're doing moremorning meditation to connect
(41:46):
with source.
Maybe you're journaling orpraying instead of scrolling on
your phone, right, maybe you'reusing movement or meditation
instead of ingesting somethingthat will, you think, give you
some sort of reaction where Iknow for me, my favorite place
to be is in meditation.
(42:07):
That is where I feel the mostaligned with myself and
everything.
And it's funny because then yougo out in the world and you
leave the meditation and thenthat's where we get our triggers
and then that's where some ofthose compulsions come to try to
manage or soothe those triggers.
But the more that I do thiswork, the more I want to
(42:30):
actually just meditate or prayinstead.
You're choosing communityinstead of isolation.
You're finding like-mindedpeople.
So if you are working on sugar,like I am, I'm certainly not
going to go hang out at apatisserie.
I'm not going to go have coffeewith somebody someplace where
there's an entire case filledwith delicious treats.
I'm going to ask someone tomeet me in a place where it's
(42:52):
going to be better.
It's like alcoholics.
Don't go hang out in bars.
That much, right.
So you become someone who honorsyour nervous system, your
intuition, your energy fields,your co-creating and connecting
with your higher power moredeeply, more readily, as the
choice, the decision of how tobe in your daily life.
(43:14):
And then step nine is shineyour light.
And this is where you'resharing your yourself, your
journey, your authenticity, yourcompassion, knowing that just
being a light in the world doesreflect out and could possibly
help others.
We're not here to fix or changeor save anyone, but the more
(43:38):
that we put our energy onourself, the more that we
actually are healthy and freebody, mind, soul the more we
actually radiate light andenergy in a frequency that is
positive and beneficial thatwill affect change in the world
around us.
And you don't have to becompletely healed or perfect to
(44:01):
shine or to help others.
This isn't about some sort ofperfection.
This is about you authenticallyliving in your best self and
letting that light shine just sobeautifully.
You know, one of the things Ithink about is I don't go around
and tell people that no oneshould drink or no one should
have sugar, or no one should beon their phones, or you know
(44:25):
that's that judgment.
But the more that I am in thisspace that I am so grateful for,
so so grateful for everythingin my life seems to shake out
and be easier, that there's moredepth of connection with people
(44:46):
, that my family has had such ahealing, that my relationship
with my husband is so muchbetter, that I have friends that
resonate with what is going onwith me and we all shine our
light for each other.
It's not that we're, it's notthat we're doing this to make
them be better.
We're doing this because wedeserve to be better.
(45:08):
But when we shine our light, wegive others inspiration and
hope that they too can make thatchoice, especially especially
when we do it with humility andgrace and compassion and
forgiveness and we're justallowing others to be in their
experience and seeing.
Yeah, that's hard.
That person's making thosechoices, but we're not
(45:31):
condemning and you walk in thelight, not because you're trying
to make anyone else be acertain way, but because you are
.
You are the light.
You are the light.
That is the truth of who youare and this is really.
I love this because this processthe nine steps soul recovery
(45:52):
process, recovery process givesus tools to do the big picture
walk, but it also is a spiral ofhow to be in the world that we
can just keep coming back andback and back and back, because
every day I have an opportunityto look at how can I deepen my
healing, how can I come morefully into my full, authentic,
(46:14):
healed, incredible self?
How can I use these tools,these principles, this process
to understand more about myself?
And stuff comes up.
Every single day somethingcomes up.
There is absolutely more workto be done.
More will be revealed, as theysay, in 12-step, so I can come
back to am I using something inan unhealthy way?
(46:37):
Am I ready for awakening?
Am I ready to admit that I'msuffering and something needs to
change?
And that process.
Then I go back into the process.
So Rich keeps teasing me andsaying so, are we doing the
sugar thing?
And I keep saying I'm gettingreally close.
I'm getting really close andI'm getting closer and closer to
making a very drastic change inwhat's happening with it.
(47:00):
But I want my mind to be right.
I don't want to do it from aplace of reactivity and I don't
want to do in a place that'saround pleasing him, because I
want this to be a lifelongchange and not just something
that I do for 30 days.
I want it to be like it is fordrinking for me.
I want this to be a true shiftin how I treat food in my body,
(47:23):
so that my body, mind, spirit,all of my being is as healthy
and full as it can be.
So I encourage you to take alook at what is a behavior or a.
Maybe it's a substance, ormaybe it's something that you're
doing that maybe you didn'teven realize.
(47:44):
Scrolling or shopping, what issomething that you're using in
your life right now that is aprotection that isn't serving
you, that you want to be able tostep more into a healed self
and allow this to be one morelevel of your soul recovery.
That is, giving you informationabout how you can transform and
(48:06):
transmute those habitualpatterns and fully embrace the
wholeness and the beauty of whoyou are.
For any of you who areinterested in joining me on this
journey, I'm going to set upmaybe a challenge or a support
for us to see what are thesebehaviors that we're looking at
(48:29):
in our own lives and be able totalk about them on the Facebook
group, the Private Recover yourSoul Facebook group, which you
are all welcome to join.
So meet me over there and let'sdo this together, because
together we can do the work thatwill recover your soul.
Until next time, namaste.
(48:50):
Thank you for listening and Ihope that that helps support
your soul recovery process.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the Recover your Soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
(49:13):
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
(49:34):
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
Today I'm going to use the nine step soul
recovery process to walk throughhow you can use it to heal from
and to be able to understandmore about yourself from a
spiritual level for maybe anaddiction or a habit or a
behavior that is not serving you.
I know for me.
I've been working on my sugaraddiction and, even though I've
(00:21):
been sober from alcohol for overseven years now addiction and
even though I've been sober fromalcohol for over seven years
now I know that I want more formyself in my body, mind and soul
.
And this is a next step for me.
So we're going to talk abouthow to use the nine steps for
recovery from addiction.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast a spiritual path to a
(00:42):
happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives, as mine
(01:03):
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast and community.
(01:23):
I'm Rev Rachel and I'm sograteful that you are choosing
in on your path to a happy andhealthy life with me.
Today I'm just going to jumpright in because I want to do
this episode that I've beenpreparing for and thinking about
for a while.
That is around addiction andeven though most of you have
come here because addictionaffects you in some way maybe
(01:44):
you came because of Al-Anon oryou were searching for words and
codependence or people pleasingthis path to a happy and
healthy life that is, soulrecovery has like this elephant
in the room, which is addiction.
But when you come here, youwalk through a door and you
realize, oh, I actually want totake care of myself, I want to
(02:06):
heal myself so that I can dosomething about the elephant in
the room in a new way, to beable to be your most full,
authentic, healed self.
And if you have somebody aroundyou who has addiction, you can
stop trying to change them,trying to save them, and really
remember that we have to healourselves first and foremost.
(02:29):
That's our number one job.
But maybe, like me, you'rerecognizing that you have some
behaviors or some things thatyou are ingesting or taking that
aren't great for you and eventhough I healed from my recovery
of alcoholism seven years ago,I still have some compulsive
(02:51):
behaviors that I'm recognizingin my healing don't benefit me.
They don't benefit me at all.
The one of the main ones iscontinuing to have sugar, a lot
of sweets and sugar.
I love sweets and sugar andit's interesting because, as I
was reading the definition ofwhat is addiction, which reads a
(03:13):
compulsive, chronicphysiological or psychological
need for a habit formingsubstance, behavior or activity
having harmful physical orpsychological or social effects
and typically causingwell-defined symptoms such as
anxiety, irritability, tremorsor nausea upon the withdrawal of
the substances or the state ofbeing addicted.
(03:35):
So that's the officialdefinition of addiction.
When I look at that for myselfin terms of like the compulsive
behaviors that I had when I wasdrinking, it definitely is not
like that, but it's somethingthat as I'm doing it, I'm
thinking to myself there's amuch better choice.
(03:56):
You know this isn't good foryou.
I have pretty substantialarthritis in my hands in
particular and it makes my handshurt and it doesn't feel good,
and I know that my body doesn'tfeel good.
I know it's causinginflammation.
I know that I would be happierwith my weight and I would have
more physical energy if I wasn'tconsuming sugar and sweets.
(04:17):
But I make that choice to dothat and so you could look at
the same thing in terms ofscrolling on your phone.
You could look at maybeshopping or binging on TV.
We could start looking at ourown behaviors and how they are
affecting our well being,especially as we get healthier
and healthier and healthier inour soul, recovered state and
(04:40):
are turning the attention toourselves and not putting all
that energy on the people aroundus to get better so that we can
finally be better.
But then we're looking atourselves now and we're going
hmm, maybe I need to take a lookat am I having a glass of wine
every day?
And even though that's not anaddiction, does it benefit me?
Is it helping me?
(05:01):
Maybe you've been smoking potforever or something that is an,
even a substance, a drug oralcohols that isn't as bad as
the people in your life who arein like level 10 addiction and
you're looking at yourself andsaying maybe I want to do
something about it.
And I also just want to say Ido not want to become an
(05:25):
addiction expert, which is superinteresting, since I have a
podcast that has so much to doaround addiction.
I don't know as much as manyfabulous, wonderful teachers and
scientists and people out therethat are really sharing really
informative and importantinformation about substances and
(05:46):
how they work in your brain andhow they work in your body and
how they were formed, and Idon't want to be the person that
gives you all that information.
There are other people that cando that.
I suggest Gabor Mate.
He has a wonderful book calledHungry Ghosts that has
incredible information about howthat high level of addiction
(06:07):
can be formed within people.
He has a spiritual way oflooking at it.
Annie Grace is amazing withthis naked mind talking about
how alcohol works in your brainand what those systems are.
There's plenty of resources thatare out there on how it goes
into your body and how it canreally form these intense
(06:28):
attachments that that take workto be able to release, and so I
don't want to be the one to talkabout those things because I am
not an expert in that.
I want to talk about it fromthe soul recovery perspective
and how we can use the nine stepsoul recovery process and how I
intend to use it for myself toreally tackle this sweets and
(06:52):
sugar addiction that I have.
So that's what I want to workwith and walk you through today.
I also want to say again, as Isay in many of the podcasts,
take what you need and leave therest.
If I say something that you'relike, well, that's not really
how I see addiction or that'snot really where I've heard it
before.
I'm not trying to say that thisway that I'm talking about it
is the only way and, again, I amno expert in the physiological,
(07:15):
psychological part of how itworks in our brain.
I want to look at it from aspiritual perspective.
So just lean in with me andlet's talk about it from that
spiritual perspective.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
(07:37):
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the
nine-step soul recovery process,I'm here for you, but you can
also choose to work the steps onyour own, with individual
modules intended to support youto work at your own pace and on
(08:00):
your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
(08:21):
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode, what Ithink about addiction and when I
look at it outside of this,this traditional realm, and I
look at it from the spiritualend, which it is a protector,
(08:44):
and it seems strange to say thatit's a protector, but it's
really protecting us fromdiscomfort.
So if you think about let's gowith food, for example, which a
lot of people have foodaddictions, not just sugar, but
like food addictions.
When you're younger and youhave a lot of things in your
life that are either complicatedor painful or needs that aren't
(09:06):
being met, there is food.
So it's an immediate, immediateway to get something that feels
comforting, that feels like youhave control over it.
A lot of people who were out ofcontrol in other places in
their lives they found food isthe place where they could
control.
And it's interesting, just as acaveat, that this is also where
(09:28):
sometimes withdrawal from foodhappens.
When I was anorexic in highschool, I was specifically
anorexic that I can rememberthese feelings, which was I felt
very out of control about myhome life with my dad and my
stepmom and my stepbrother,about my home life with my dad
and my stepmom and mystepbrother, and when I went to
(09:49):
their house it was very painfulfor me and I didn't eat while I
was there and that was my way ofhandling the stress from that,
and then I would come back homeand then I would get a lot of
praise for being thinner and itactually became a control
mechanism.
So it wasn't necessarily forreasons that one might think,
but when I got to the placewhere I understood what it was,
(10:12):
luckily when I was around 16 or17 years old, I was able to
handle that part and say, oh,this is actually a pain response
.
This is a mechanism for how Ican handle my pain, and so it
makes sense that when I turned21 and I really started drinking
in earnest, it was again thisability to deal with the
(10:37):
discomfort.
And when you're scrolling onyour phone or you're shopping or
you're doing something, there'sa dopamine hit that comes.
That is a soothing comfort.
So here we are.
We've been given food as kidsand drugs and alcohol in our
teen and growing up years and asadults, and now we have all
(10:57):
these other mechanisms thatreally keep us protected and
they're keeping us from reallyhandling or dealing with the
very chaotic, very complicatedworld that's around us.
There is more and more and morestimulation all the time, and
it feels more and moreoverwhelming and unmanageable
and out of control.
(11:17):
So of course we're going tolook for something to give us
some sort of hit of how we canfeel better.
And so I think that's the pieceto really understand.
Is that the quote unquoteaddiction or our compulsive
habit isn't weakness.
It's really about a longing.
It's an aching for somethingthat's lost or maybe even was
(11:41):
never given.
And soul recovery isn't aboutfighting that.
It's about listening to it,honoring it and transforming it.
It's about using the process toreally touch in with yourself
and understand more aboutyourself.
And I have this strong knowing,as I continue to heal my full
(12:01):
body, mind and soul through mysoul recovery work, that I want
to be the best self that I canbe.
I want to be healthy, not foranybody else, but for me,
because if I'm going to be herefor a while longer, I certainly
don't want to have the level ofaches and pains that I have in
(12:23):
my body that I know that rightnow.
The level of sugar that I'mconsuming is only adding to that
, because when I do make thatchoice in my life to eat
healthier, 90% of thisincredible inflammation and pain
that I have in my arthritis andin my bones gets better.
(12:44):
So don't I deserve that formyself?
So it's a process of reallymeeting yourself with compassion
and clarity, and each step thatwe do in soul recovery is
really a gentle guide to turnwithin and to remember our
wholeness that's always beenthere within us.
This is what we're calling for.
(13:04):
So I'm going to walk through thenine step soul recovery process
as if you're using it to beable to look at some sort of
behavior or some sort of habitor some sort of compulsion, or
maybe an addiction.
However you're seeing it, touse it as a tool to begin to
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turn within and to ask yourselfsome questions that will help
you to want to move into a morehealed state.
I also would recommend that, ifyou are in a situation like I
was, when I was trying to quitdrinking, I couldn't have done
it without 12 step Walking intothose rooms and having other
people give me information andliterally just having to show up
(13:49):
somewhere every day and sayguess what I didn't drink today
was imperative for my healing.
So this isn't to take the placeof if you feel called to go
into some sort of a program.
My hope is that it is anaddition to and if you're
dealing with something that youwouldn't label as an addiction
(14:09):
but you know no longer servesyou, this might be a great place
to start.
So step one in soul recovery isready for awakening, and this is
the place where we say toourselves I am ready for healing
.
This is where it begins.
You recognize, you recognize,you see with clarity in your
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life that this behavior, thisaddiction, this habit, however
it's showing up, is costing yousomething that is something that
you don't like.
Maybe it's your peace, maybeit's your vitality, maybe it's
being your authentic whole self,your most healed self, and you
don't minimize it right.
You really look at it for whatis and you stop thinking you're
(14:53):
the exception.
I love that from one of thebooks that I was reading and now
I'm not going to remember whatit was that said that oh, I
think it was the Mel Robbinsbook that we all think that
we're the exception, right.
Like, oh, it's okay that otherpeople might die from heart
disease or you know, whatever itis, but not me, because I'm
(15:18):
good.
We're actually looking atwhatever our situation is and
we're seeing that it is harmingus today.
If I continue to not choose toeat cleanly and healthily, I
will have physical effects downthe road that I don't want.
There's no doubt about it.
There's no doubt about it,right?
So are you willing to look atwhat you've been avoiding?
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Are you ready to chooseyourself?
Are you ready to stop judgingyourself as failing and say,
okay, this isn't about failing,this is about grace and asking
yourself am I ready to dosomething about it?
Because the number one strengththat you can have in your
spiritual journey is to make achoice and a decision to do
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something different.
If you think about it, a beliefis just a continued choice.
So I can continue to believesomething that isn't going to be
good for me and make thatchoice, or I can make a solid
decision and choice for what isgoing to benefit me and who I
know I want to be.
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When I was drinking, I thinkabout how it definitely moved
from a choice of I'm going tohave fun or I'm going to check
out, or you know.
There was definitely plenty oftimes that really were
legitimately fun and then plentyof times that were legitimately
awful and I'm continuing totake in this substance that I
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can feel is a poison.
I can feel it.
It was like drinking rubbingalcohol by the time I got to the
end of my addiction and I wouldtell myself I wasn't going to
drink and then I would bedrinking, but the minute I
walked into the AA room onFebruary 10th 2018, it's going
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to make me cry.
I made a decision to save mylife and I may tell myself that
sugar is not as bad as alcoholand on some level that might be
true, but on another level, it'sthe same, because if I am going
to save my soul, if I'm goingto save who I am at the depth of
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my being, I have to make asstrong of a decision to take
care of myself, to love myselfenough to make choices that are
going to give me the mostlongevity they're going to give
me the most health.
They're going to allow my bodyto work its magic.
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Our bodies are magic and so whenyou think about how everything
works within our bodies and howour systems are, the more that
we don't have constant dopaminehits in scroll, scroll, scroll
scrolling or shopping, or, youknow, just numbing watching
shows that are giving us allthis information.
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Or eating, food or porn ordrugs and alcohol or whatever it
is.
You're actually invitingbalance and restoring your
system to live in its mostharmonious state, and you
deserve that.
So to make a decision is thestrongest choice that you can
make and that's what Ready forAwakening is is to make a
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decision for yourself.
It's a sacred moment where youawaken from the spell of your
self abandonment and tellyourself enough, enough, I am
not going to live like thisanymore.
I deserve more, you deservemore.
And then you move into step two,which is letting go of control,
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which is founded on step one inAA, which is admit that you're
powerless over the addiction.
So, in soul recovery speak, weare seeing that we can surrender
to the illusion that we canmanage this through just our
willpower, manage this throughjust our willpower.
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Right that we begin to reallysee that we are indeed powerless
over whatever that compulsionor that sugar craving or the
scrolling or the shopping, oryou allow yourself to really see
what it is doing to you, thatit is making the decision for
you instead of you making thechoice about it, that it is a
compulsive behavior.
(19:44):
So one of the things I thinkabout when I'm looking at how I
want to change my life right now, when I finish eating, maybe
I'll eat like a really clean,beautiful salad, right, totally
so delicious, so good.
And almost immediatelyafterwards I get this hit that's
like oh, you got some dessert,you got some chocolate somewhere
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, you got a cookie somewhere.
Did you get any ice cream,rachel?
Right, like it is so intense.
And yet, if I just sit with it,and yet if I just sit with it,
if I just sit with it and Iallow myself to say I'm
powerless over this intensecraving that my body has.
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My gut now has all thismitochondria or whatever it's
called in there that might evenbe the right word whatever the
gut juice is that has littlebugs and beings in there that
are hungry for sugar, and I'mpowerless over the fact that
that's its response, but I'm notpowerless over whether I
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compulsively go to it and when Imake the choice and admit that
I'm powerless over the substance, right Like I will never drink
alcohol again because I know fora fact, after 48 years of
experimenting with it, that assoon as I have alcohol, my body
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wants more.
And the truth is, if I cannotplay into the sugar craving
after a meal, it actually goesaway quickly, if I'm honest.
But if I play into it and I goand I go, I'm just going to have
a cookie, five cookies later.
I've played into the part thatI'm actually powerless over it
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because it's feeding me, it'stelling me what to do.
Now I'm in my compulsivebehavior.
Or if you get on your phone andyou're like I'm just going to
check my Facebook for a second,I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna
check my Facebook for a second,you know, I'm just gonna couple
couple posts and half an hourlater you have just dove in and
lost yourself in it.
This is that place where we'relooking at that we're powerless.
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What is the fantasy that wehave that we can control it,
when it is actually controllingyou and what is it trying to
soothe?
That's the part that's sointeresting when we look at it
from the two sides.
What's the biological, physicalhit?
That is it calling for us?
And then there's this otherside where it's saying I'm
(22:15):
trying to get something that Ineed.
Is it covering pain?
Is it trying to soothe in someway?
What is it doing?
What is this that we arepowerless over?
And what is it saying to us?
You can quit blaming yourselfor thinking that you're not, you
know, strong enough or thatthere's something wrong with you
(22:38):
.
You can just recognize thatthis is an actual truth, that
you're powerless over how thisaffects you, how this hits you,
and that that in itself is sofreeing.
Because when I truly admittedthat I was powerless over
drinking and I decided I'm nevergoing to drink again, then it
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quit taunting me Now with sugar.
I watch myself go back andforth between the part that says
I'm going to do absolutely nosugar, I'm going to go hard in.
For the rest of my life, nosugar, and the part of me is
like, oh really, are you goingto?
Can you just cut back?
And I can feel thatpowerlessness.
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Can you just cut back?
And I can feel thatpowerlessness and I'm going to
have to work on that.
I can't give you an answerright now.
But what I do know is I want tofeel better and I'm going to
make a substantial shift andchange in what I'm ingesting
into my body and I'm making thatcommitment right.
I no longer want to fight this.
I want to ask spirit to workwith me, to help me, to guide me
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.
I want to hand over andsurrender to it.
Step three in soul recovery isdiscover beliefs, patterns and
stories, and here's where weexplore the wounds and the false
beliefs that our addiction isreally trying to numb or hide.
When I am in a not great placeand I'm having habitual sugar.
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It is definitely a checkout, itis absolutely a checkout
mechanism, and it's interestingto watch myself do that when I
feel like I'm so awake in somany other areas.
I recently went to a babyshower that was really sweet and
it was a tea party, and so theyhad those beautiful three tiers
(24:27):
with the little tiny littlesandwiches and then scones and
sweets on the top, and I overatesweets.
I watched myself compulsivelyovereat the sweets that were
available, as if it had been anopen bar of wine, and that was a
fascinating thing to look atmyself right.
(24:48):
So that is a pattern.
And what is that pattern?
And it's that something, thatit's trying to give me something
.
It's a false hit.
You know the thing about all ofthese behaviors or things that
we do, or shopping it's allfalsely giving us the thing that
we really want in our life.
(25:09):
It's an empty promise.
For two seconds the dessert isdelicious, and then, as I was
driving home, I was so full andI felt so yucky and over sugared
.
I knew that it wasn't good forme.
And isn't that interesting,like we do this thing that we
know isn't good for us.
So in this one we're looking atwhat is the pattern?
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You know, it's not random tohave these compulsions or these
addictions or these habits.
It's rooted in survival.
The protection mechanism is soprofound and we begin to unearth
the stories that are drivingthe behavior.
It's like am I not good enough?
Is that what's reallyunderneath, that I have to
(25:56):
behave a certain way, or I haveto look a certain way, or that
food's the only thing that cancomfort me, or sugar's, you know
my special sweet treat.
This is something I can control, or this is mine.
This is how I take care ofmyself, or I'm just doing it
because everyone else like whatare the stories?
What are the deep down storiesFor me, one of the things that I
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recognize in sugar addictionfor myself is that I didn't have
a lot of sugar when I wasgrowing up because we were
hippies and we didn't have verymuch money and my mom was really
trying to be health consciousas well, and so one of her
stories that she tells us thatwhen I was like three or four
years old, we went to someone'shouse that had white sugar and
white flour and I had never seenwhite sugar or white flour
(26:40):
before.
And sweet treats for me werethat we would go to the health
food store and get pressedcarrot juice and that was like
the sweetest treat that I couldhave.
And by the time I got older anddiscovered candy, it was almost
like this compulsive.
It was almost like thiscompulsive.
(27:03):
I wanted it because I couldn'thave it.
And I wonder if that has apiece of that, like the story
that I tell myself that there'ssome younger part of myself that
that wants for that.
It actually is.
I'm thinking about it.
It's very similar to to clothing.
I didn't have very much clothesgrowing up, and so when I got
to the place where I could startto buy my own clothes.
I always wanted to make surethat I had lots to choose from.
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Same with food in my house.
I grew up with some foodinsecurity Not that my parents
would actually say that that'swhat they think that we had, but
as a little girl I rememberthat there was not much to
choose from, and so at my housemy pantries are full.
So when you look at thosebehaviors if I'm living from
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those behaviors of that likecompulsion, like I've got to get
another piece of clothes orI've got to make sure my
refrigerator is packed or I'vegot to have sweets on hand,
that's not a healthy way ofbeing.
That's actually the fear,that's the protection of
survival.
And those are the parts thatwe're looking at.
And again, in soul recovery,it's not judgment, we're looking
(28:07):
at them from compassion andgrace.
But to be able to see wherethose come from gives us the
ability to step more furtherinto the process.
So then we move to step four,which is open to co-creating
with a higher power or spirit orGod, or whatever you want to
call it.
This is where you invite yourhigher power as a loving
(28:31):
co-creator into your own healing.
And it's not about fixing, it'sa partnership right, we're not
having them fix it for us orthat there's something wrong
with us.
There's nothing wrong with us.
We're just being able to see itfrom a new way.
We're recognizing how we'reusing this protection mechanism
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in a way that no longer servesus.
Maybe it never served us, butat this point it definitely
doesn't serve us and we want tobe healed.
We want to be whole.
We want to be our fullest, mostauthentic, healed, happy, whole
selves.
When you work with your higherpower and partnership, you
recognize that you've beentrying to do it by yourself.
You know a lot of pain comesfrom the belief that you're all
(29:16):
alone.
I had somebody the other daysay you come in alone and you
die alone and I said I don'tbelieve that.
I think we come in with sourceand God and spirit and higher
power surrounding us, higherconsciousness, and it is with us
the entire time and with uswhen we leave, wherever we may
go.
I don't think we're ever alone,but when you're alone and you
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feel alone, it becomes easier tohabitually move into unhealthy
behaviors, unhealthy ways oftreating your body, and we want
to be treating ourselves well.
So when you're connected to yourhigher power, you recognize
that you're always being held,you're always being offered
(30:04):
guidance and love and support,and you don't have to force
through anything.
You can just open and ask forhelp.
Spirit, help me see myself withlove, help me make different
choices, help me feel what Ineed, to feel safely.
And when I do this, when I stepinto that place and I know that
(30:25):
I'm being called to eat adifferent way, it's because that
love, that wholeness, that partof me that wants to fully
embrace everything so well,wants to be able to not have
pain, wants to have a body thatworks well, that feels good, and
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that is the number one thing.
And I don't have to do it alone.
So then, in step five in soulrecovery, we are releasing the
patterns that don't serve us.
Here's where you bless what youare letting go of.
We're not rejecting it, we'renot judging it, we're not saying
that we did something wrong,we're not condemning ourselves.
You don't shame your addictionIn a way you want to thank it in
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my life, where I was in mydrinking and my life was so
painful and so difficult thatthose moments where I could be
checked out saved my life, and Ithink that that's sometimes a
hard concept for people tounderstand, because there's
always this opportunity forpeople to step into their
authentic and awakened and wholeselves.
But we also can't possiblyunderstand where people are in
(31:46):
terms of their own healingjourney and the pain that they
feel within themselves.
So to release patterns andstories that no longer serve us
isn't easy.
You have to actually have alevel of compassion and courage
and a willingness to step fullyinto an entirely new way of
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being.
Part of that is to thank theprotectors, the ways that we saw
the world, because that's whatkept us safe at whatever time it
was.
Because that's what kept ussafe at whatever time it was and
we've talked about this a lotin codependency, healing from
our people, pleasing and controladdiction.
Now we're looking at it insomething that we might be doing
(32:30):
as a behavior or as a drugs andalcohol, putting it into our
body and how it's affecting us.
Can we thank it for theprotection that it offered us
when we didn't have differenttools?
Now we're going to giveourselves different tools and
now we just love it.
Love it and release it.
See that it felt like the onlyway maybe to get something that
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you needed or wanted.
When I'm scrolling sort of justmindlessly scrolling on TikTok
or Instagram or Facebook orwhatever.
There's a piece where Irecognize that I'm getting the
kind of connection when you'rein that space where you're
hearing people's stories.
That's a connection that I longfor, and so when I see that
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that's the part of me longingfor connection, I can thank the
part of me that's searching forit, and I know that I want to
search for it in different ways,that there are other, more
healthy ways for me to be ableto access that.
And the other thing that Ithink is so important is we give
ourselves grace that sometimesit feels like being numb was the
(33:44):
best choice, or being checkedout, or using these mechanisms
to get the reward that wethought that we needed.
And what if you're really atthis place in your life where
you're ready to not be numb,you're ready to feel, you're
ready to not be numb, you'reready to feel, you're ready to
heal?
This is an incredible step oftransmutation.
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This is where your pain becomesyour light.
This is where your shamebecomes your grace.
To release what doesn't serveyou, to release those beliefs
that this is the only way orthat there's something wrong
with me or I'm not enough or Ican't control this to truly just
(34:26):
gracefully and openly bewilling to let them go, because
then we move into step six,which is embracing new beliefs
and rewriting your story.
I love the nine steps wholerecovery process as it has come
in to me over the last year anda half.
I could not have more gratitudefor how it continues to deepen
(34:48):
and as I work on the books andhave more work with people and
I'm doing the modules on thesteps on the website, it's like
it's blossoming like a beautifulflower right and we get to
create a new way of being.
We are free to choose and make adecision.
We are making a decision tochoose a different path.
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You know why?
Because you are given free willand when you co-create with the
higher power of yourunderstanding, you're actually
being opened up to thisunlimited possibility of a life
beyond your wildest dreams, thatyou're being resourced with
everything that you need toembrace the truth of who you are
(35:32):
to be in a narrative that isn'tthose old limiting beliefs, but
a narrative that's like I'msafe to be in my body, I'm
allowed to enjoy life withoutthese behaviors or whatever it
is that you're doing.
I am safe here, I am happy here.
I'm enough Just as I am.
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I don't need to treat my bodythis way.
I don't need to shop, I don'tneed to have porn, I don't need
to scroll, I don't need to eatsugar, because I'm going to make
a choice that benefits me.
And I want to be healthy.
I want to be whole.
As a matter of fact, I amhealthy, happy and whole and
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free.
You're claiming it in a new wayand you're shifting from I have
to fix myself, there'ssomething wrong with me to I am
becoming who I am here to be.
I'm opening to the fullness ofmyself and I can be free of
(36:35):
these compulsive behaviors.
I can be free of it and youstart to really recognize that
this is the truth of who you are, which is why we move into step
seven, aligning with a newperception.
You can begin to live from yourspiritual truth, not the old
programming, not the old fears,not the old beliefs.
(36:57):
You're living in your decisionto truly step into your
authentic self, your whole,healed self.
And when I think about that formyself, I want to make food
decisions that make my bodyhealthy, that make my body
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healthy, strong, fit, that givemy systems the best ability to
do the miraculous work that theydo to really allow myself to
have all the energy and vitalitythat I want in my life.
And I know that I feel likecrap when I overeat sugar in
every way.
And I know that the truth ofwho I am, in my new perception,
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is that I don't want to livelike that, nor do I have to.
And this is where you begin tonotice and have awareness,
without the shame, without theblame, without the feeling
guilty.
So, instead of being in theplace where you recognize, maybe
you're starting to scroll oryou're noticing that you're on
(38:06):
Amazon again, you know, oryou're back into having sugar,
what you know, whatever thosethings are.
Maybe you're doing somethinglike drinking, maybe you're
looking at like drinking, maybeyou're looking at, wow, like I'm
having another glass of wine.
We're having an awareness ofwhat the trigger is and we're
having a compassionate dialoguewithin ourselves.
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This is where I talk to myself,and I do it all the time.
I'm constantly having theselovely conversations with myself
inside, because I used to havereally critical conversations
with myself inside and now I'vemade friends with myself and I
love myself.
So I'll have an awareness.
I'll be like oh really, what'sthat about.
(38:48):
Okay, so you're having thepowerless over a sugar craving,
but you're wanting to lean intoit.
Is there something else goingon?
Yeah, well, I'm actuallyfeeling kind of bored and lonely
right now.
Oh, okay, you're feeling boredand lonely, so what else could
you do right now to take care ofthat?
Well, I could call a friend orI could go for a walk, or yeah,
(39:11):
that'd be a really good idea.
You're recognizing that you canlive within your own boundaries,
that you're setting foryourself, that support your
healing, and you live more fromyour higher self and not from
your survival self.
In this step You're aligningwith your new perception.
Perception is how we are seeingthe world from a new lens, and
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when you see yourself from thelens of healed, loving,
beautiful, wonderful wholeness,it becomes harder and harder and
harder to want to make choicesthat are harmful to you,
regardless of what those are.
And that that is the entiregift of living in a spiritual.
(39:56):
That is the entire gift ofliving in a spiritual, whole,
happy space where we're choosingfor ourself because we love
ourself enough to make choicesthat align with the truth of who
we are and who we are showingup to be in our lives today.
So step eight is deepening yourspiritual practice day.
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So step eight is deepening yourspiritual practice, and this is
where you begin to truly createrituals and rhythms that
nourish your soul, instead ofthe compulsive behavior,
addiction.
This is where you arenourishing your wholeness,
instead of those old behaviors.
This is where you place rightand I think this is such a
foundational part of 12-step aswell, which is 12-step is a
(40:39):
spiritual journey.
The end of 12-step is havinghad a spiritual awakening as the
result of these steps.
Right, you are replacing whatseemed like the solution with a
new solution, and this newsolution is a connection to the
higher power of yourunderstanding, and the new
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solution is a connection to yourwhole being, to your wholeness,
to the beauty of who you are,and you don't, you know, demean
or or judge yourself aboutwhatever these behaviors or
habits are.
You love yourself.
You fill it with light, withlove, compassion.
We're just filling, floodingourselves with this tenderness,
with this kindness, with this.
(41:25):
Of course this was the way thatI thought that I could get what
I needed, or, of course, thiswas the most soothing thing.
But now I have better tools,now I see myself more, and when
you deepen your spiritualpractice.
You're replacing thosemechanisms.
So maybe you're doing moremorning meditation to connect
(41:46):
with source.
Maybe you're journaling orpraying instead of scrolling on
your phone, right, maybe you'reusing movement or meditation
instead of ingesting somethingthat will, you think, give you
some sort of reaction where Iknow for me, my favorite place
to be is in meditation.
(42:07):
That is where I feel the mostaligned with myself and
everything.
And it's funny because then yougo out in the world and you
leave the meditation and thenthat's where we get our triggers
and then that's where some ofthose compulsions come to try to
manage or soothe those triggers.
But the more that I do thiswork, the more I want to
(42:30):
actually just meditate or prayinstead.
You're choosing communityinstead of isolation.
You're finding like-mindedpeople.
So if you are working on sugar,like I am, I'm certainly not
going to go hang out at apatisserie.
I'm not going to go have coffeewith somebody someplace where
there's an entire case filledwith delicious treats.
I'm going to ask someone tomeet me in a place where it's
(42:52):
going to be better.
It's like alcoholics.
Don't go hang out in bars.
That much, right.
So you become someone who honorsyour nervous system, your
intuition, your energy fields,your co-creating and connecting
with your higher power moredeeply, more readily, as the
choice, the decision of how tobe in your daily life.
(43:14):
And then step nine is shineyour light.
And this is where you'resharing your yourself, your
journey, your authenticity, yourcompassion, knowing that just
being a light in the world doesreflect out and could possibly
help others.
We're not here to fix or changeor save anyone, but the more
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that we put our energy onourself, the more that we
actually are healthy and freebody, mind, soul the more we
actually radiate light andenergy in a frequency that is
positive and beneficial thatwill affect change in the world
around us.
And you don't have to becompletely healed or perfect to
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shine or to help others.
This isn't about some sort ofperfection.
This is about you authenticallyliving in your best self and
letting that light shine just sobeautifully.
You know, one of the things Ithink about is I don't go around
and tell people that no oneshould drink or no one should
have sugar, or no one should beon their phones, or you know
(44:25):
that's that judgment.
But the more that I am in thisspace that I am so grateful for,
so so grateful for everythingin my life seems to shake out
and be easier, that there's moredepth of connection with people
(44:46):
, that my family has had such ahealing, that my relationship
with my husband is so muchbetter, that I have friends that
resonate with what is going onwith me and we all shine our
light for each other.
It's not that we're, it's notthat we're doing this to make
them be better.
We're doing this because wedeserve to be better.
(45:08):
But when we shine our light, wegive others inspiration and
hope that they too can make thatchoice, especially especially
when we do it with humility andgrace and compassion and
forgiveness and we're justallowing others to be in their
experience and seeing.
Yeah, that's hard.
That person's making thosechoices, but we're not
(45:31):
condemning and you walk in thelight, not because you're trying
to make anyone else be acertain way, but because you are
.
You are the light.
You are the light.
That is the truth of who youare and this is really.
I love this because this processthe nine steps soul recovery
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process, recovery process givesus tools to do the big picture
walk, but it also is a spiral ofhow to be in the world that we
can just keep coming back andback and back and back, because
every day I have an opportunityto look at how can I deepen my
healing, how can I come morefully into my full, authentic,
(46:14):
healed, incredible self?
How can I use these tools,these principles, this process
to understand more about myself?
And stuff comes up.
Every single day somethingcomes up.
There is absolutely more workto be done.
More will be revealed, as theysay, in 12-step, so I can come
back to am I using something inan unhealthy way?
(46:37):
Am I ready for awakening?
Am I ready to admit that I'msuffering and something needs to
change?
And that process.
Then I go back into the process.
So Rich keeps teasing me andsaying so, are we doing the
sugar thing?
And I keep saying I'm gettingreally close.
I'm getting really close andI'm getting closer and closer to
making a very drastic change inwhat's happening with it.
(47:00):
But I want my mind to be right.
I don't want to do it from aplace of reactivity and I don't
want to do in a place that'saround pleasing him, because I
want this to be a lifelongchange and not just something
that I do for 30 days.
I want it to be like it is fordrinking for me.
I want this to be a true shiftin how I treat food in my body,
(47:23):
so that my body, mind, spirit,all of my being is as healthy
and full as it can be.
So I encourage you to take alook at what is a behavior or a.
Maybe it's a substance, ormaybe it's something that you're
doing that maybe you didn'teven realize.
(47:44):
Scrolling or shopping, what issomething that you're using in
your life right now that is aprotection that isn't serving
you, that you want to be able tostep more into a healed self
and allow this to be one morelevel of your soul recovery.
That is, giving you informationabout how you can transform and
(48:06):
transmute those habitualpatterns and fully embrace the
wholeness and the beauty of whoyou are.
For any of you who areinterested in joining me on this
journey, I'm going to set upmaybe a challenge or a support
for us to see what are thesebehaviors that we're looking at
(48:29):
in our own lives and be able totalk about them on the Facebook
group, the Private Recover yourSoul Facebook group, which you
are all welcome to join.
So meet me over there and let'sdo this together, because
together we can do the work thatwill recover your soul.
Until next time, namaste.
(48:50):
Thank you for listening and Ihope that that helps support
your soul recovery process.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the Recover your Soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
(49:13):
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
(49:34):
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
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