April 14, 2025 • 40 mins
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Are you feeling overwhelmed by emotions, stuck in old patterns, or hard on yourself for not being “further along” on your healing journey? This episode is a gentle reminder that you don’t have to have it all together to be on a spiritual path. In Soul Recovery, we learn that our desire to fix, control, or rush through discomfort only deepens our suffering. This conversation offers tools to help you soften into the present moment and let go of the belief that your healing has to look a certain way. Whether you’re struggling with codependency, trying to manage someone else’s life, or simply tired from carrying too much, this episode is here to remind you: it’s okay to be exactly where you are. When we stop pushing against what is and open to grace, we return to the truth that we are always guided, supported, and enough—right here, right now.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
I think it's no surprise that, as
codependents and people pleasers, we might have high
expectations of ourselves, thatwe think that being on the
spiritual journey means that wealways have to be leveling up,
that we're doing okay, that wehave all these tools.
But the truth is, sometimes youhave to just allow yourself to
be exactly where you are, toactually be in the moment of
right now and feel whateverthose feelings are, even if
(00:22):
they're difficult feelings or ifyou're in pain, because we're
working on not suffering thesuffering, meaning that we're
wanting and clinging and pullingand controlling for it to be
different.
But even if you're in thatspace, that's okay too, because
we are learning to be awake andconscious and to have a level of
awareness in what is going onin our life so that we can use
(00:47):
the soul recovery tools andprinciples to understand more
about ourselves and heal evenmore deeply.
It's okay to be wherever youare today, in this moment.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
a happy and healthy life.
(01:07):
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life.
From my recovery of alcoholism,codependency and control
addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives as mind
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
(01:32):
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast.
It's Rev Rachel.
Thank you so much for choosingin to spend your time with me
today.
Thank you for choosing thiscommunity.
Thank you for choosing yourselfbecause, ultimately, the reason
(01:56):
why you're here is because youhave been drawn.
You have been called to learnhow to be okay when the world,
the people, everything thatfeels like right now is
completely changing.
It's shifting, it'stransforming, and I often say
we're learning to be okay wheneverything around us isn't okay.
But I just want to call outthat there is a lot right now
(02:19):
that feels really heavy andunsure unsure, whatever it is,
and we're all in our ownindependent lives.
And you've come here probablybecause you have somebody in
your life who's struggling withaddiction, or you're codependent
, or maybe you have addictionyourself, maybe you're a people
pleaser, maybe you searched onsomething and found one of the
(02:40):
podcasts and you've come intothis community because it's
giving you a line, to rememberyour wholeness, to remember who
you are, and if that's the case,I am honored.
I'm honored and privileged tohave you here with me on the
journey because, man, that'swhat I'm working on.
I have these tools that I'musing from the nine-step soul
recovery process, which camefrom originally from the 12-step
(03:03):
programs that I was in as analcoholic and as a recovering
codependent in Al-Anon, and thenI started my spiritual journey
and really deepened thatspiritual practice, became a
metaphysical minister and havejust been gathering, gathering
tools and information andopening my own heart and opening
my own healing and reallydeeply doing the work around
(03:27):
letting go of those old patternsthat are so rooted in our
subconscious that we don't evenknow are keeping us locked in
the story.
They're keeping us locked inthe story, but then we're also
on.
This wild ride of humanity isearth school, as it's called,
and I like to call it in our ownunique curriculum, and today's
(03:48):
episode is around.
It's okay to be exactly whereyou are.
It's okay to be exactly whereyou are and to give yourself a
break, and I'm doing thisepisode because I need to be
exactly where I am and I need togive myself a break Because, as
I continue to do this journey.
One of the things that's reallybeen coming to me and it's not
(04:09):
just me, I've had this inreflection with a couple friends
as well, and I can feel it fromthe people that I work with
directly is this part of us thatfeels like if I do the work
hard enough for myself, if I canbe completely successful in my
soul recovery journey, in myhealing, then I will fix
everybody else.
Because, dang it, if thatcontrol and that desire to fix
(04:34):
and help isn't sneaky, sneaky,sneaky, sneaky stuff.
Oh my gosh, it just keepscoming back around and just
being sneaky in my life, thatsticky, sneaky piece where in
our own healing we're still inthe place where our own healing
we're really hoping will healthem.
So we're still putting theattention on them instead of
(04:57):
putting the attention onourselves.
And it's because we've been soingrained to have their needs
and their feelings come first.
And what I recognize for me isthe last four months in
particular have been reallyinteresting in terms of my
family life and everythingthat's been happening in my own
(05:17):
family life.
And if you've gone back andlistened to the episodes and if
you like this and you like mystories.
I encourage you to go back andlisten to the episodes and if
you like this and you like mystories, I encourage you to go
back and start at the beginning,because this is the sixth
season.
I started recording in 2020.
This was when it was hittingthe oh my god, the pay dirt for
me.
This is when I startedrecording was when Alex was
(05:40):
really in the grips of addictionreally bad.
Bodhi had just moved toCalifornia.
We were trying to figure outhow to handle what was going on
in our life.
I was still in early recovery,only a couple years into my
sobriety, and I was just barelygetting a fingernail on some of
(06:01):
these principles.
And I read that detachmentbookmark that I had and I was
living those detachments.
I was trying to not talk aboutAl-Anon or AA in the podcast,
which I had no idea was going tocreate this community when I
started, but I just didn't wantto go against the 12 traditions
and for anybody who's in Al-Anonknow that I'm aware of that and
(06:22):
I hope you hear me when I sayhow important Al-Anon's been to
me and I understand that thoseprinciples are still such a
foundational piece.
But it's bigger than just theorganization of these 12-step
programs, which, thank God, theycame up with those 100 years
ago, right, I mean 100 years agoin the actually, the 30s, in
(06:46):
the 30s is when Bill and Loisstarted these programs and it
was.
It was wild back then.
Right, these concepts were wild.
It's the same as Unity, whichis the spiritual organization
that I attended for over 24years.
Unity was, the founders wereCharles and Myrtle Fillmore.
(07:06):
They didn't intend to start achurch either, they were just
interested and open to differentconcepts.
They were studying differentphilosophies.
They were going and wonderingwhat the Eastern philosophies
were.
And she had tuberculosis and shehealed herself of her
tuberculosis through positiveprayer and that so inspired
(07:27):
other people.
I mean, if you think about 100years ago, it was crazy to think
that you could recover fromalcoholism.
It was crazy to think that youcould have your mind decide who
you were.
I mean, these were conceptsthat were not even in people's
view yet, which I think is theamazing thing about how we're
(07:47):
learning and how much ourconsciousness is raising,
because all it takes is a fewpeople to start to change and to
start to shift and tounderstand and believe and have
evidence, and then that growsmore evidence and people are
willing to step out in faith.
That's the beauty of whatoriginal religions really are is
somebody who's willing to stepout in faith that's the beauty
of what original religionsreally are is somebody who's
(08:07):
willing to step out in faith.
And so soul recovery has becomea spiritual path to a happy and
healthy life, becausespirituality is the solution to
my addiction, it is the solutionto my codependence, it is the
solution to fear for me.
So if you go back and you listento those episodes from the very
(08:28):
beginning of May of 2020, andmy life is pretty chaotic and
you listen throughout the fiveseasons and now into the sixth
season, you get a sense and afeeling of how slow and steady
that process is, and that's thepart where we give ourselves
permission to be where you areright now.
(08:49):
To be where you are right now,and maybe it means that you can
hardly keep your head abovewater and maybe it means that
every day actually is gettingsofter and softer, that that
detachment principles and thenine-step soul recovery process
is working in your life andyou're seeing transformation and
change and it's affectingchange in the people around you
(09:11):
and you're seeing the benefit ofwhat people before you have
done and that you can believethat you are deserving of it as
well.
Right that you can believe thatyou're deserving of it as well.
Right that you can believe thatyou're deserving of it as well.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
(09:32):
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we've
learned more about soul recoveryand connect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the
nine-step soul recovery process,I'm here for you, but you can
also choose to work the steps onyour own, with individual
(09:54):
modules intended to support youto work at your own pace and on
your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
(10:16):
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode, and that'sthe part for me that I think
that when I look at what's beenhappening in my life in these
seven years and I think back toyou know, even gosh, even like a
(10:41):
couple years ago, and how muchtransition has happened in those
time periods, I have this faultRight that I catch myself doing
, which is such an old, rootedpattern of belief, which is why
they're so great that theycontinue to show up.
You know, we, we work on themso hard, not working on the
(11:02):
heart.
I'm getting more clarity.
That it's.
It's not really working like aneffort, it's more of an
awareness, it's more of a subtleenergy where you have you have
a gentleness to yourself, youhave a compassion to yourself,
you have a grace that says, gosh, that's still there, this part
that thinks I'm supposed to doit all perfect.
(11:23):
And if I do it all perfect,then somehow I will say it
perfect, I'll relay the messageperfect, whatever it is, I'll do
just right, and through thatthen I will elicit some sort of
change in everybody else aroundme.
So that's sort of theundercurrent of this, but the
main current is it's okay to beexactly where you are.
(11:44):
So if I look at the rawness ofmyself in 2020, and I look at
how I was still really reelingfrom so much of the really
intense pain and trauma andupset that had happened in my
life and my marriage for so longand having the kids having the
issues they were having andhaving an alcoholic husband and
(12:04):
me being an alcoholic and, oh mygosh, all the things that we
went through.
But I'm still in a place whereI have to give myself permission
that I haven't reached thedestination yet, that over the
last four months it's like thesebeautiful things are happening
in my life, these beautifulthings are happening in my
consciousness, these awarenesseswhere I have more and more and
(12:26):
more moments of just deep peaceare intermixed with the part of
me that is still scrambling tokeep that codependent control
that is still affected so deeplywith fear.
And when I went to Californiafor Christmas with my mom and
(12:48):
Rich and the kids and we hadsuch a lovely time, but I was
watching myself with all myplayers in one space that wasn't
my own home, right.
So you're outside of yourcomfort zone.
And every time we get outsideof our comfort zone we move into
a wider zone.
Maybe it's the learning zone,maybe it's the too much zone,
but we're in that place where wehave a little more heightened
(13:11):
sense of oh okay, we're notrunning on just whatever the
standard operating system is,and I watched myself be really
conscientious of everybodyelse's needs.
And then I came back from thatand it was like, oh my gosh,
it's still in there, so deeply,so deeply.
And what's been happening overthe last couple months is that I
(13:33):
think that you know, part ofthe soul recovery process is
those last steps.
The last steps talk aboutliving, aligning with your new
perception, aligning with andliving this new, healthier
perception of yourself in theworld, and then deepening your
spiritual practice, like reallyhaving your spiritual practice
(13:54):
be the foundation, that spiritof whatever that is for you
comes first, and then shiningyour light, then having the
energy and the capacity to shinelight.
But I think we can get stuck onthat last step where we think
that it's our job to go out andshine the light and then, guess
what, we're circled back intofeeling responsible for
(14:14):
everybody else's light.
And that's kind of where I'vebeen lately and a couple things
have happened that have broughtme to this one.
One is that Alex having thebaby who I'm gonna go see here
Shortly, I'll be in Californiafor almost 12 days, I think I'm
doing a workshop during thattime and can't wait to go see
(14:36):
Alex and Lexi and Rocky andreally spend some time with them
.
And I recognize that this is oneof those moments where you
think that you can be detached,you think that you can let it,
you think that you can justrelax and move into grandma mode
right, where you just show upand you're happy and
(14:56):
everything's good.
But that hasn't been what'sbeen happening for me.
What's been happening for me issomething that I've had a lot
of you report to me.
That happens to you as well andit's making me emotional just
to think about it.
It's that level of desire forit to be good for them.
And an interesting thing is andI think I may have said this in
(15:17):
another podcast I actuallydon't even know how it is for
them.
I think it's good, but it allso could not be good, and I'm
just not getting the informationabout what's actually really
going on.
But I think because thedelivery itself and that week
afterwards in the hospital andthem coming home was pretty
intense that it put me back intoa place of heightened awareness
(15:43):
and I've been doing all thework.
This is the part that I reallywant to stress upon the fact
that you're okay wherever youare.
It's not about being perfect.
It's not about the fact thatyou're supposed to get to some
place where, oh, everything,everything just rolls off my
back or I don't have to worryabout it, or I just take a deep
breath and do a meditation andI'm I'm raised back up into my
(16:06):
higher consciousness.
Yes, I hope that happens insmall doses, but you're in life.
You're in life.
And this is the piece where Ijust have so much compassion for
everybody in the community,because when we meet on the once
a month support group, or whenyou send me emails about what's
(16:26):
going on in your life, or theone way text messages that you
can send through the podcast,which I can only read them I
have no idea who sent them and Ican never return, but I love
getting those but I hear yourstories.
And when I work with people, asin coaching, with soul recovery,
or you come to a workshop or aretreat, we're in this situation
where part of what we're reallyworking on is the real stuff,
(16:51):
the situations, the people thatare in our lives, that are
complicated, and so it is truethat we can't just bypass that
that would actually take awaythe whole reason why we're here
on Earth School in the firstplace and I hope that you'll
listen to the podcast that wasaround challenge, around really
(17:12):
recognizing that part of whywe're here is to be in
situations where we're movingout of that little tiny comfort
zone and we're stretching intochallenge and so that heightened
awareness that I've had aroundAlex and Lexi and Rocky I've
just noticed is just kind ofrumbling around in there.
It hasn't been really intenseand when I have moments of
(17:35):
intensity I use all the toolsand I really recognize my trying
to be in control.
I'm powerless over what's goingon with them.
I use all the tools that we'vetalked about in the soul
recovery process and I come backdown underneath what I call the
rock that I'm carrying theweight of this situation and I
(17:55):
really tune into myself and thepart of me that just feels
tender and then my heart reallyjust wants everybody to be at
ease and be at peace.
I really want that because Ithink we all are deserving of it
.
But I also recognize thatthat's not how it is for
(18:17):
everybody all the time and itcertainly hasn't been the way
that it's been for me all thetime.
So it's kind of funny that Ispend more energy wanting that
to be what it is for everybodyelse versus claiming it and
wanting it for myself.
Then, when I do that, I havethis moment where I really feel
the connection to spirit.
I really feel this knowing thatwe are indeed held by something
(18:42):
greater still and that if I letgo of all the story of fear,
then I can be at peace withmyself.
I can be at peace with whateverit is, which means that you're
letting go of the control of itbeing anything in particular.
And the truth is it's going tobe whatever it's going to be
(19:02):
anyway.
Right, we don't have anycontrol over it.
But then I'm attending tomyself and I'm saying it's okay
for me to be wherever I am inthat day, and if it means that
it's a roller coaster throughoutthe day and there's certain
points of the day where I feelat peace, I am in that day.
And if it means that it's aroller coaster throughout the
day and there's certain pointsof the day where I feel at peace
, I feel in connection, I feelwhole, I feel access to the
(19:24):
guidance that comes, I feellighthearted.
I've just been better atsoaking that up and just
allowing myself to really kindof revel in that feeling, so
that when the energy shifts andI move more into a cautious or
fearful state of whatever thatis, then I have more strength to
(19:45):
know that this too shall pass,which is one of those great
Al-Anon and AA slogans.
This too shall pass.
But it doesn't just mean thehard stuff passes.
This too shall pass also meansthat the good stuff will pass.
It's impermanence, which is oneof the foundational pieces of
Buddhism.
The other thing that's happenedin my life recently is Rich,
(20:07):
who's been working for himselfsince I was pregnant with Alex.
So what is that 29 years hasbeen working doing is in.
He went to school forarchitecture.
He was sitting in thearchitecture office while I was
pregnant with Alex, having hisgood job that he got out of
college drafting and helpingbuild.
(20:27):
You know, whatever he was doingfor this architecture firm
while he was doing hisinternship and he hated it.
He absolutely hated it.
And he would come home everyday and he would just say I
don't know if I can do this.
I can't sit here and stare at acomputer.
I know this is what my familywanted me to do.
I know this is what a goodperson does.
I know that we're about to havea baby, he's like, but I'm
(20:49):
going crazy.
And in the midst of it he hadstarted remodeling the house
that I bought when we first gottogether, which is now our house
that we've still been in forover 32 years, and he loved it
and he would just get so jazzedevery time that he built
something.
And then he started doing somestone masonry for one of his
(21:09):
bicycle mountain biking buddieson the weekends.
And then he called me one dayon a Thursday.
It was so funny because he wasso excited and he said I drove
the bus down here but I have toomuch stuff.
I got laid off.
You got to come get me and hestarted working for himself,
doing construction andlandscaping and stone masonry
(21:30):
and building these amazingbackyards that he's done for
people, with these fabulouswater features and fire and all
the stuff that he's been doingfor all these years.
But he's been saying that hecan't continue it.
He's 58 years old.
It's very, very, very hardlabor and it's also just a lot
of stress around getting thejobs, getting paid for the jobs,
(21:53):
getting the help for the jobs,and it's just been a journey for
him on his own spiritualexploration of self over the
years.
And then I used to joke thatRich isn't really somebody that
plays well with others, so itwas really good that he had his
own business, because he can beintense and he can be lovely,
(22:14):
and he's mostly lovely, but whenhe's intense he's intense and
so sometimes he would butt upagainst heads with people.
So anyway, right beforeChristmas he heard that there
was a job opening in a countyjob that's actually here in
Colorado in the open space andhistoric building sites
(22:35):
department, and he heard aboutit from a neighbor of ours who
works the job and he said he wasgoing to apply for this job and
literally my mouth dropped open, like really you're going to go
work for somebody.
And then at that same time Ithought you know, this is
exactly what he's been drawingto himself.
He's been doing that piece thatI talked about earlier, where
(22:56):
you think the thought and itcomes to you, this concept that
the new thought movement andthat AA and Alan on spiritual
practices 100 years ago thatwe're really making up front,
which is you get clarity aboutsomething and it presents itself
to you.
It's the miracles that happenfrom the law of attraction and
(23:17):
spirituality.
And so when you start reallylooking at this job that he
found, he heard about, he did aresume, a cover letter, he went
for interviews, he did all thiswork and it just started this
week.
But guess who?
Got wrapped up in the emotionsof if he would like it, if it
(23:39):
would be okay with him, if he'dbe uncomfortable in having to
wake up.
It's four, 10 hour days, so hehas to be at work 45 minutes
away by 7am, which means it's atotal different sleep schedule,
which all of my codependentstuff got all riled up again in
wanting to make sure that he'sokay.
(24:00):
And it's been really fascinatingto sort of like get hooked
again in Alex and get hookedagain in Rich and get hooked
again in realizing that when Iget hooked in those two places
all the other hooks start tohook and I felt myself become
more and more kind of aware ofother people's emotions, what
(24:23):
other people are saying, whattheir needs might be, and
there's just so many places thatit showed itself.
One was I had an exchange witha family member around politics.
That was really painful andhard because I didn't feel like
I had started it or saidanything about it.
(24:43):
And what I realized is thatthat pain of somebody else's
opinion of me was a lot,especially when it sort of comes
out of left field, right, butwhat I can see, that the reason
why I think it like struck me sohard is because it's stacked on
(25:04):
all these other situations.
I've already have a lot of myattention and energy moving over
towards taking care of,mentally, this family that lives
far away, that I actually haveno idea what's happening in
their house besides some nicepictures, right, I'm like sort
of making up these stories.
And then I have Rich, who's inthis transition in jobs and he's
(25:28):
finishing off other jobs andtrying to figure out schedules
and this whole huge life changeof being on somebody else's
timetable and everything thatgoes with that, and then so my
energy is not in my body, it'snot in my center, I'm not
actually doing the part ofdeepening my spiritual practice
to the level that is going tokeep me grounded.
(25:50):
I've slipped back into sort ofthe spin and this is the piece
that is so essential.
It's okay wherever you're at,because the nine-step soul
(26:12):
recovery process and the 12steps in AA and Al-Anon and all
the other spiritual tools thatare out.
There are not one-time usetools.
They're tools that you actuallylearn how to use more readily.
And so the part that I think isso essential and I'm just
processing what's going on withme in my own life is that when
you can stay conscious, when youcan wake up just a little bit
in the middle of it, when youcatch yourself in the middle of
(26:33):
it sort of feeling overwhelmedor feeling tired or feeling
uninspired or feeling overworkedor stressed out, that is the
emotions that are telling yousomething.
I'm always telling you thatyour emotions are telling you
something, and as recoveringcodependents and people pleasers
and addict lovers or addictsourselves, we don't actually
(26:58):
hear those first nudges and giveourselves credit to just be
where we're at and to settleback and say what do I actually
need here?
What am I actually feeling here?
What truly is going on?
Where could I offer myselfself-care?
Not self-care, maybe in amassage, so much, although I
highly recommend that if you canbut self-care in the part that
(27:20):
says oh, I'm powerless overeverything that's going on
around me.
I'm actually not responsible forwhether Rich likes his job or
not.
I didn't find him the job, Ididn't recommend it to him, I
didn't do his cover letter orhis resume or tell him that he
had to go get this right, likeyou would think that I had with,
(27:41):
sometimes, the amount of sparkthat's in there about wanting to
make sure that he likes it.
And the reason why I want himto like it is because if he's
cheerful, it's easier around thehouse.
Well, I'm powerless overwhether he's cheerful.
I'm powerless over what hethinks about it.
I'm powerless over what's goingon with Alex.
(28:02):
I'm powerless over what's goingon with Bodhi and his life.
I'm powerless over my mom.
I'm powerless over my dad.
But I can show up in my wholeself, which sometimes feels
depleted, which sometimesdoesn't need to take care of
everything almost all the time,doesn't need to take everything
(28:24):
and to just attend to what it is.
That is mine to actually showup and do and be In my life.
And what I hope that I'mproviding you in soul recovery
is that is just to be your mostauthentic self, that is loving,
that is open, that iscompassionate, that can allow
people to be in their situations.
(28:45):
As I go to California, I'mactually just super interested
to go and see exactly wherethey're at good or hard, you
know and go look in that littlebaby's eyes, who's six weeks old
now and starting to smile alittle bit and just interact
from that place that says Idon't have to fix them, I don't
(29:06):
have to make it better for them,I actually can give advice when
it's asked for and to stayconscious in it.
And to recognize that thisopportunity is for me to
actually go fill myself upinstead of to take the battery
down to plug it back in, to takea break from work a little bit,
(29:26):
to take a break from my life,move outside of that comfort
zone and go into thatexploratory place where we have
a little bit of challenge butlike nice challenge, right.
And then the good news for Richis he actually so far it's in
the first week and he's excitedabout it.
The hardest part is that he hasbeen on his own timetable and so
(29:50):
being on somebody else's clockfrom 7am to 530.
It's a long day.
It's a long.
It's a long day right now, buthe'll get used to it and he has
to get up early.
That's his journey and hisexperience to have.
And the story that I tellmyself is that it's my job to
make it easier for him.
But that's not true.
That's not true job to make iteasier for him.
(30:14):
But that's not true, that's nottrue.
And then, when I'm gentle tomyself, when I allow myself to
be exactly where I am, part ofthat is to go and actually to
give yourself credit for how faryou've come, because when
you're raising yourconsciousness and when you're
awakening, you are in a newstation, you're at a new norm, a
(30:34):
new level of balance, and so Ithink that we can strive a
little bit too hard, too much,like I was saying earlier about
wanting to, like sort of get tosome place and what that place
(30:58):
is really wanting is to get to aplace where we have more peace,
more contentment, but reallyit's less pain, to get to a
place where there's less pain.
The pain isn't necessarily bad,because feelings are such a
profound part of being humanbeings.
I want to be without thesuffering, and the suffering is
the part of me that still getshooked about wanting it to be
(31:19):
different or wanting to controlhow it is, or wanting to save or
to fix or to help.
But we don't have to help orfix or save anyone.
Not that they're not worthhelping, fixing or saving, but
they need to discover thatthat's their own journey to do
in themselves.
I need to bring my energy backto myself and I need to restore
(31:40):
myself.
I need to make sure mybatteries are full so that I can
actually shine light and bepresent in whatever the
situation is wonderful or hard,from the most authentic loving
place that I can be, and fromthat place then we get to make
decisions that align with who weare and be with people that
(32:02):
align with who we are and allowwhat falls away to fall away and
allow what comes in to come in,all away and allow what comes
in to come in, and to have spaceto listen to the still small
voice, the subtle guidance thatis the wisdom that's within all
(32:24):
of us, this incredible abilityto listen to something greater
still that's outside of our egoand our fear and all of our
attachments and all of ourstories, and to give us the
strength to be in whatever we'rein, from a capacity of love
that takes us out of being avictim, because being in your
feelings, and even the feelingsof overwhelm or sadness or grief
(32:48):
, those are real, importantfeelings, but they're so much
more able to give youinformation if they're not
attached to the story of whatthey're doing and why they're
doing that and that that'shappening and doing to me.
So what I recognize and I'lluse as a close for the episode
today is, if I give myself graceto be exactly where I'm at,
(33:13):
from the soul recoverymetaphysical space where we are
owning our own feelings, wherewe're really looking at how do
we feel, we're letting go of alljudgment of everything outside
of us is good or bad and we'reallowing everyone to be in their
own life and their ownsituation.
(33:34):
We're detaching with love.
It allows us to actually seewhat is and to be with ourselves
as what is and then to giveourselves credit where credit is
due, to be able to say I lovebeing able to say I am an
entirely different human beingthan I was seven years ago.
And on some level, because somuch growth and healing and
(33:59):
ability to really really justsee and love people wherever
they are, full acceptance ofpeople wherever they are, those
emotions are so much richer anddeeper that it brings in that
side piece where I love them somuch.
I just want it to be easier forthem and then at the same time
(34:20):
I can say it's not fair for meto take away their experience.
Can I love them enough to letit be exactly what it is and
that they get to choose whatthat is.
And then I'm to love myselfenough to remember that I am
resourced by spirit, by theuniverse, by eternal love, by
(34:40):
eternal strength, that I can bepresent with whatever it is and
I can let myself be tired orworn out or overwhelmed or
depleted.
And then just, lastly, to giveourselves credit for the fact
that, if we are in that space,the likelihood is we are feeling
(35:01):
other people's true depth ofenergies more truly and we're
also feeling the wild cosmosstuff that's going on with all
the.
All.
The astrology is really intenseright now.
They say the energies arereally intense.
We've had eclipses and flaresand you know, if you believe in
(35:22):
all that energy shifting stuff,it's pretty intense.
Our country is in a reallydifficult place, which is why
this really painful interactionhappened with a family member
that I'm not sure whether it'sthe rupture of this relationship
forever.
It may be, and that's sad, andnot because I'm angry, but
(35:43):
because I have boundaries, andboundaries, given in love, allow
somebody else to be whereverthey are, but I'm going to
choose me, because I'm workingon that, for me to be wherever I
am right now.
So give yourself grace, giveyourself space, give yourself
(36:05):
the permission, if it is a hardday, to be in a hard day, and
know that as soon as it pops upinto a different feeling, you
can just move there.
You don't have to, you don'thave to dwell too much or try to
understand too much, like youdon't have to figure it all out.
Be in the present moment thatyou are, this moment.
(36:27):
Be wherever you are at rightnow and allow yourself to move
through everything that'shappening.
This, too, shall pass in eachstate and each space moving
through those nine steps of soulrecovery as a flow, right as a
flow, and a reminder that we'realways progressing, we're always
(36:49):
working, we're always awakening.
Just stay conscious in all ofit and it will be revealed to
you.
So I'm excited to go and havethis little trip and just see
how it all turns out, and I'mgonna let myself just be exactly
where I am in each moment.
I'm gonna allow that to be asit is and I hope you will do the
(37:12):
same Until next time.
Namaste, thank you for listeningand I hope that that helps
support your soul recoveryprocess.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the recover your soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
(37:33):
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
You can be a free Patreonmember and have access for
limited time to new episodes.
(37:54):
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
I think it's no surprise that, as
codependents and people pleasers, we might have high
expectations of ourselves, thatwe think that being on the
spiritual journey means that wealways have to be leveling up,
that we're doing okay, that wehave all these tools.
But the truth is, sometimes youhave to just allow yourself to
be exactly where you are, toactually be in the moment of
right now and feel whateverthose feelings are, even if
(00:22):
they're difficult feelings or ifyou're in pain, because we're
working on not suffering thesuffering, meaning that we're
wanting and clinging and pullingand controlling for it to be
different.
But even if you're in thatspace, that's okay too, because
we are learning to be awake andconscious and to have a level of
awareness in what is going onin our life so that we can use
(00:47):
the soul recovery tools andprinciples to understand more
about ourselves and heal evenmore deeply.
It's okay to be wherever youare today, in this moment.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
a happy and healthy life.
(01:07):
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life.
From my recovery of alcoholism,codependency and control
addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives as mind
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
(01:32):
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast.
It's Rev Rachel.
Thank you so much for choosingin to spend your time with me
today.
Thank you for choosing thiscommunity.
Thank you for choosing yourselfbecause, ultimately, the reason
(01:56):
why you're here is because youhave been drawn.
You have been called to learnhow to be okay when the world,
the people, everything thatfeels like right now is
completely changing.
It's shifting, it'stransforming, and I often say
we're learning to be okay wheneverything around us isn't okay.
But I just want to call outthat there is a lot right now
(02:19):
that feels really heavy andunsure unsure, whatever it is,
and we're all in our ownindependent lives.
And you've come here probablybecause you have somebody in
your life who's struggling withaddiction, or you're codependent
, or maybe you have addictionyourself, maybe you're a people
pleaser, maybe you searched onsomething and found one of the
(02:40):
podcasts and you've come intothis community because it's
giving you a line, to rememberyour wholeness, to remember who
you are, and if that's the case,I am honored.
I'm honored and privileged tohave you here with me on the
journey because, man, that'swhat I'm working on.
I have these tools that I'musing from the nine-step soul
recovery process, which camefrom originally from the 12-step
(03:03):
programs that I was in as analcoholic and as a recovering
codependent in Al-Anon, and thenI started my spiritual journey
and really deepened thatspiritual practice, became a
metaphysical minister and havejust been gathering, gathering
tools and information andopening my own heart and opening
my own healing and reallydeeply doing the work around
(03:27):
letting go of those old patternsthat are so rooted in our
subconscious that we don't evenknow are keeping us locked in
the story.
They're keeping us locked inthe story, but then we're also
on.
This wild ride of humanity isearth school, as it's called,
and I like to call it in our ownunique curriculum, and today's
(03:48):
episode is around.
It's okay to be exactly whereyou are.
It's okay to be exactly whereyou are and to give yourself a
break, and I'm doing thisepisode because I need to be
exactly where I am and I need togive myself a break Because, as
I continue to do this journey.
One of the things that's reallybeen coming to me and it's not
(04:09):
just me, I've had this inreflection with a couple friends
as well, and I can feel it fromthe people that I work with
directly is this part of us thatfeels like if I do the work
hard enough for myself, if I canbe completely successful in my
soul recovery journey, in myhealing, then I will fix
everybody else.
Because, dang it, if thatcontrol and that desire to fix
(04:34):
and help isn't sneaky, sneaky,sneaky, sneaky stuff.
Oh my gosh, it just keepscoming back around and just
being sneaky in my life, thatsticky, sneaky piece where in
our own healing we're still inthe place where our own healing
we're really hoping will healthem.
So we're still putting theattention on them instead of
(04:57):
putting the attention onourselves.
And it's because we've been soingrained to have their needs
and their feelings come first.
And what I recognize for me isthe last four months in
particular have been reallyinteresting in terms of my
family life and everythingthat's been happening in my own
(05:17):
family life.
And if you've gone back andlistened to the episodes and if
you like this and you like mystories.
I encourage you to go back andlisten to the episodes and if
you like this and you like mystories, I encourage you to go
back and start at the beginning,because this is the sixth
season.
I started recording in 2020.
This was when it was hittingthe oh my god, the pay dirt for
me.
This is when I startedrecording was when Alex was
(05:40):
really in the grips of addictionreally bad.
Bodhi had just moved toCalifornia.
We were trying to figure outhow to handle what was going on
in our life.
I was still in early recovery,only a couple years into my
sobriety, and I was just barelygetting a fingernail on some of
(06:01):
these principles.
And I read that detachmentbookmark that I had and I was
living those detachments.
I was trying to not talk aboutAl-Anon or AA in the podcast,
which I had no idea was going tocreate this community when I
started, but I just didn't wantto go against the 12 traditions
and for anybody who's in Al-Anonknow that I'm aware of that and
(06:22):
I hope you hear me when I sayhow important Al-Anon's been to
me and I understand that thoseprinciples are still such a
foundational piece.
But it's bigger than just theorganization of these 12-step
programs, which, thank God, theycame up with those 100 years
ago, right, I mean 100 years agoin the actually, the 30s, in
(06:46):
the 30s is when Bill and Loisstarted these programs and it
was.
It was wild back then.
Right, these concepts were wild.
It's the same as Unity, whichis the spiritual organization
that I attended for over 24years.
Unity was, the founders wereCharles and Myrtle Fillmore.
(07:06):
They didn't intend to start achurch either, they were just
interested and open to differentconcepts.
They were studying differentphilosophies.
They were going and wonderingwhat the Eastern philosophies
were.
And she had tuberculosis and shehealed herself of her
tuberculosis through positiveprayer and that so inspired
(07:27):
other people.
I mean, if you think about 100years ago, it was crazy to think
that you could recover fromalcoholism.
It was crazy to think that youcould have your mind decide who
you were.
I mean, these were conceptsthat were not even in people's
view yet, which I think is theamazing thing about how we're
(07:47):
learning and how much ourconsciousness is raising,
because all it takes is a fewpeople to start to change and to
start to shift and tounderstand and believe and have
evidence, and then that growsmore evidence and people are
willing to step out in faith.
That's the beauty of whatoriginal religions really are is
somebody who's willing to stepout in faith that's the beauty
of what original religionsreally are is somebody who's
(08:07):
willing to step out in faith.
And so soul recovery has becomea spiritual path to a happy and
healthy life, becausespirituality is the solution to
my addiction, it is the solutionto my codependence, it is the
solution to fear for me.
So if you go back and you listento those episodes from the very
(08:28):
beginning of May of 2020, andmy life is pretty chaotic and
you listen throughout the fiveseasons and now into the sixth
season, you get a sense and afeeling of how slow and steady
that process is, and that's thepart where we give ourselves
permission to be where you areright now.
(08:49):
To be where you are right now,and maybe it means that you can
hardly keep your head abovewater and maybe it means that
every day actually is gettingsofter and softer, that that
detachment principles and thenine-step soul recovery process
is working in your life andyou're seeing transformation and
change and it's affectingchange in the people around you
(09:11):
and you're seeing the benefit ofwhat people before you have
done and that you can believethat you are deserving of it as
well.
Right that you can believe thatyou're deserving of it as well.
Right that you can believe thatyou're deserving of it as well.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
(09:32):
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we've
learned more about soul recoveryand connect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the
nine-step soul recovery process,I'm here for you, but you can
also choose to work the steps onyour own, with individual
(09:54):
modules intended to support youto work at your own pace and on
your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
(10:16):
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode, and that'sthe part for me that I think
that when I look at what's beenhappening in my life in these
seven years and I think back toyou know, even gosh, even like a
(10:41):
couple years ago, and how muchtransition has happened in those
time periods, I have this faultRight that I catch myself doing
, which is such an old, rootedpattern of belief, which is why
they're so great that theycontinue to show up.
You know, we, we work on themso hard, not working on the
(11:02):
heart.
I'm getting more clarity.
That it's.
It's not really working like aneffort, it's more of an
awareness, it's more of a subtleenergy where you have you have
a gentleness to yourself, youhave a compassion to yourself,
you have a grace that says, gosh, that's still there, this part
that thinks I'm supposed to doit all perfect.
(11:23):
And if I do it all perfect,then somehow I will say it
perfect, I'll relay the messageperfect, whatever it is, I'll do
just right, and through thatthen I will elicit some sort of
change in everybody else aroundme.
So that's sort of theundercurrent of this, but the
main current is it's okay to beexactly where you are.
(11:44):
So if I look at the rawness ofmyself in 2020, and I look at
how I was still really reelingfrom so much of the really
intense pain and trauma andupset that had happened in my
life and my marriage for so longand having the kids having the
issues they were having andhaving an alcoholic husband and
(12:04):
me being an alcoholic and, oh mygosh, all the things that we
went through.
But I'm still in a place whereI have to give myself permission
that I haven't reached thedestination yet, that over the
last four months it's like thesebeautiful things are happening
in my life, these beautifulthings are happening in my
consciousness, these awarenesseswhere I have more and more and
(12:26):
more moments of just deep peaceare intermixed with the part of
me that is still scrambling tokeep that codependent control
that is still affected so deeplywith fear.
And when I went to Californiafor Christmas with my mom and
(12:48):
Rich and the kids and we hadsuch a lovely time, but I was
watching myself with all myplayers in one space that wasn't
my own home, right.
So you're outside of yourcomfort zone.
And every time we get outsideof our comfort zone we move into
a wider zone.
Maybe it's the learning zone,maybe it's the too much zone,
but we're in that place where wehave a little more heightened
(13:11):
sense of oh okay, we're notrunning on just whatever the
standard operating system is,and I watched myself be really
conscientious of everybodyelse's needs.
And then I came back from thatand it was like, oh my gosh,
it's still in there, so deeply,so deeply.
And what's been happening overthe last couple months is that I
(13:33):
think that you know, part ofthe soul recovery process is
those last steps.
The last steps talk aboutliving, aligning with your new
perception, aligning with andliving this new, healthier
perception of yourself in theworld, and then deepening your
spiritual practice, like reallyhaving your spiritual practice
(13:54):
be the foundation, that spiritof whatever that is for you
comes first, and then shiningyour light, then having the
energy and the capacity to shinelight.
But I think we can get stuck onthat last step where we think
that it's our job to go out andshine the light and then, guess
what, we're circled back intofeeling responsible for
(14:14):
everybody else's light.
And that's kind of where I'vebeen lately and a couple things
have happened that have broughtme to this one.
One is that Alex having thebaby who I'm gonna go see here
Shortly, I'll be in Californiafor almost 12 days, I think I'm
doing a workshop during thattime and can't wait to go see
(14:36):
Alex and Lexi and Rocky andreally spend some time with them
.
And I recognize that this is oneof those moments where you
think that you can be detached,you think that you can let it,
you think that you can justrelax and move into grandma mode
right, where you just show upand you're happy and
(14:56):
everything's good.
But that hasn't been what'sbeen happening for me.
What's been happening for me issomething that I've had a lot
of you report to me.
That happens to you as well andit's making me emotional just
to think about it.
It's that level of desire forit to be good for them.
And an interesting thing is andI think I may have said this in
(15:17):
another podcast I actuallydon't even know how it is for
them.
I think it's good, but it allso could not be good, and I'm
just not getting the informationabout what's actually really
going on.
But I think because thedelivery itself and that week
afterwards in the hospital andthem coming home was pretty
intense that it put me back intoa place of heightened awareness
(15:43):
and I've been doing all thework.
This is the part that I reallywant to stress upon the fact
that you're okay wherever youare.
It's not about being perfect.
It's not about the fact thatyou're supposed to get to some
place where, oh, everything,everything just rolls off my
back or I don't have to worryabout it, or I just take a deep
breath and do a meditation andI'm I'm raised back up into my
(16:06):
higher consciousness.
Yes, I hope that happens insmall doses, but you're in life.
You're in life.
And this is the piece where Ijust have so much compassion for
everybody in the community,because when we meet on the once
a month support group, or whenyou send me emails about what's
(16:26):
going on in your life, or theone way text messages that you
can send through the podcast,which I can only read them I
have no idea who sent them and Ican never return, but I love
getting those but I hear yourstories.
And when I work with people, asin coaching, with soul recovery,
or you come to a workshop or aretreat, we're in this situation
where part of what we're reallyworking on is the real stuff,
(16:51):
the situations, the people thatare in our lives, that are
complicated, and so it is truethat we can't just bypass that
that would actually take awaythe whole reason why we're here
on Earth School in the firstplace and I hope that you'll
listen to the podcast that wasaround challenge, around really
(17:12):
recognizing that part of whywe're here is to be in
situations where we're movingout of that little tiny comfort
zone and we're stretching intochallenge and so that heightened
awareness that I've had aroundAlex and Lexi and Rocky I've
just noticed is just kind ofrumbling around in there.
It hasn't been really intenseand when I have moments of
(17:35):
intensity I use all the toolsand I really recognize my trying
to be in control.
I'm powerless over what's goingon with them.
I use all the tools that we'vetalked about in the soul
recovery process and I come backdown underneath what I call the
rock that I'm carrying theweight of this situation and I
(17:55):
really tune into myself and thepart of me that just feels
tender and then my heart reallyjust wants everybody to be at
ease and be at peace.
I really want that because Ithink we all are deserving of it
.
But I also recognize thatthat's not how it is for
(18:17):
everybody all the time and itcertainly hasn't been the way
that it's been for me all thetime.
So it's kind of funny that Ispend more energy wanting that
to be what it is for everybodyelse versus claiming it and
wanting it for myself.
Then, when I do that, I havethis moment where I really feel
the connection to spirit.
I really feel this knowing thatwe are indeed held by something
(18:42):
greater still and that if I letgo of all the story of fear,
then I can be at peace withmyself.
I can be at peace with whateverit is, which means that you're
letting go of the control of itbeing anything in particular.
And the truth is it's going tobe whatever it's going to be
(19:02):
anyway.
Right, we don't have anycontrol over it.
But then I'm attending tomyself and I'm saying it's okay
for me to be wherever I am inthat day, and if it means that
it's a roller coaster throughoutthe day and there's certain
points of the day where I feelat peace, I am in that day.
And if it means that it's aroller coaster throughout the
day and there's certain pointsof the day where I feel at peace
, I feel in connection, I feelwhole, I feel access to the
(19:24):
guidance that comes, I feellighthearted.
I've just been better atsoaking that up and just
allowing myself to really kindof revel in that feeling, so
that when the energy shifts andI move more into a cautious or
fearful state of whatever thatis, then I have more strength to
(19:45):
know that this too shall pass,which is one of those great
Al-Anon and AA slogans.
This too shall pass.
But it doesn't just mean thehard stuff passes.
This too shall pass also meansthat the good stuff will pass.
It's impermanence, which is oneof the foundational pieces of
Buddhism.
The other thing that's happenedin my life recently is Rich,
(20:07):
who's been working for himselfsince I was pregnant with Alex.
So what is that 29 years hasbeen working doing is in.
He went to school forarchitecture.
He was sitting in thearchitecture office while I was
pregnant with Alex, having hisgood job that he got out of
college drafting and helpingbuild.
(20:27):
You know, whatever he was doingfor this architecture firm
while he was doing hisinternship and he hated it.
He absolutely hated it.
And he would come home everyday and he would just say I
don't know if I can do this.
I can't sit here and stare at acomputer.
I know this is what my familywanted me to do.
I know this is what a goodperson does.
I know that we're about to havea baby, he's like, but I'm
(20:49):
going crazy.
And in the midst of it he hadstarted remodeling the house
that I bought when we first gottogether, which is now our house
that we've still been in forover 32 years, and he loved it
and he would just get so jazzedevery time that he built
something.
And then he started doing somestone masonry for one of his
(21:09):
bicycle mountain biking buddieson the weekends.
And then he called me one dayon a Thursday.
It was so funny because he wasso excited and he said I drove
the bus down here but I have toomuch stuff.
I got laid off.
You got to come get me and hestarted working for himself,
doing construction andlandscaping and stone masonry
(21:30):
and building these amazingbackyards that he's done for
people, with these fabulouswater features and fire and all
the stuff that he's been doingfor all these years.
But he's been saying that hecan't continue it.
He's 58 years old.
It's very, very, very hardlabor and it's also just a lot
of stress around getting thejobs, getting paid for the jobs,
(21:53):
getting the help for the jobs,and it's just been a journey for
him on his own spiritualexploration of self over the
years.
And then I used to joke thatRich isn't really somebody that
plays well with others, so itwas really good that he had his
own business, because he can beintense and he can be lovely,
(22:14):
and he's mostly lovely, but whenhe's intense he's intense and
so sometimes he would butt upagainst heads with people.
So anyway, right beforeChristmas he heard that there
was a job opening in a countyjob that's actually here in
Colorado in the open space andhistoric building sites
(22:35):
department, and he heard aboutit from a neighbor of ours who
works the job and he said he wasgoing to apply for this job and
literally my mouth dropped open, like really you're going to go
work for somebody.
And then at that same time Ithought you know, this is
exactly what he's been drawingto himself.
He's been doing that piece thatI talked about earlier, where
(22:56):
you think the thought and itcomes to you, this concept that
the new thought movement andthat AA and Alan on spiritual
practices 100 years ago thatwe're really making up front,
which is you get clarity aboutsomething and it presents itself
to you.
It's the miracles that happenfrom the law of attraction and
(23:17):
spirituality.
And so when you start reallylooking at this job that he
found, he heard about, he did aresume, a cover letter, he went
for interviews, he did all thiswork and it just started this
week.
But guess who?
Got wrapped up in the emotionsof if he would like it, if it
(23:39):
would be okay with him, if he'dbe uncomfortable in having to
wake up.
It's four, 10 hour days, so hehas to be at work 45 minutes
away by 7am, which means it's atotal different sleep schedule,
which all of my codependentstuff got all riled up again in
wanting to make sure that he'sokay.
(24:00):
And it's been really fascinatingto sort of like get hooked
again in Alex and get hookedagain in Rich and get hooked
again in realizing that when Iget hooked in those two places
all the other hooks start tohook and I felt myself become
more and more kind of aware ofother people's emotions, what
(24:23):
other people are saying, whattheir needs might be, and
there's just so many places thatit showed itself.
One was I had an exchange witha family member around politics.
That was really painful andhard because I didn't feel like
I had started it or saidanything about it.
(24:43):
And what I realized is thatthat pain of somebody else's
opinion of me was a lot,especially when it sort of comes
out of left field, right, butwhat I can see, that the reason
why I think it like struck me sohard is because it's stacked on
(25:04):
all these other situations.
I've already have a lot of myattention and energy moving over
towards taking care of,mentally, this family that lives
far away, that I actually haveno idea what's happening in
their house besides some nicepictures, right, I'm like sort
of making up these stories.
And then I have Rich, who's inthis transition in jobs and he's
(25:28):
finishing off other jobs andtrying to figure out schedules
and this whole huge life changeof being on somebody else's
timetable and everything thatgoes with that, and then so my
energy is not in my body, it'snot in my center, I'm not
actually doing the part ofdeepening my spiritual practice
to the level that is going tokeep me grounded.
(25:50):
I've slipped back into sort ofthe spin and this is the piece
that is so essential.
It's okay wherever you're at,because the nine-step soul
(26:12):
recovery process and the 12steps in AA and Al-Anon and all
the other spiritual tools thatare out.
There are not one-time usetools.
They're tools that you actuallylearn how to use more readily.
And so the part that I think isso essential and I'm just
processing what's going on withme in my own life is that when
you can stay conscious, when youcan wake up just a little bit
in the middle of it, when youcatch yourself in the middle of
(26:33):
it sort of feeling overwhelmedor feeling tired or feeling
uninspired or feeling overworkedor stressed out, that is the
emotions that are telling yousomething.
I'm always telling you thatyour emotions are telling you
something, and as recoveringcodependents and people pleasers
and addict lovers or addictsourselves, we don't actually
(26:58):
hear those first nudges and giveourselves credit to just be
where we're at and to settleback and say what do I actually
need here?
What am I actually feeling here?
What truly is going on?
Where could I offer myselfself-care?
Not self-care, maybe in amassage, so much, although I
highly recommend that if you canbut self-care in the part that
(27:20):
says oh, I'm powerless overeverything that's going on
around me.
I'm actually not responsible forwhether Rich likes his job or
not.
I didn't find him the job, Ididn't recommend it to him, I
didn't do his cover letter orhis resume or tell him that he
had to go get this right, likeyou would think that I had with,
(27:41):
sometimes, the amount of sparkthat's in there about wanting to
make sure that he likes it.
And the reason why I want himto like it is because if he's
cheerful, it's easier around thehouse.
Well, I'm powerless overwhether he's cheerful.
I'm powerless over what hethinks about it.
I'm powerless over what's goingon with Alex.
(28:02):
I'm powerless over what's goingon with Bodhi and his life.
I'm powerless over my mom.
I'm powerless over my dad.
But I can show up in my wholeself, which sometimes feels
depleted, which sometimesdoesn't need to take care of
everything almost all the time,doesn't need to take everything
(28:24):
and to just attend to what it is.
That is mine to actually showup and do and be In my life.
And what I hope that I'mproviding you in soul recovery
is that is just to be your mostauthentic self, that is loving,
that is open, that iscompassionate, that can allow
people to be in their situations.
(28:45):
As I go to California, I'mactually just super interested
to go and see exactly wherethey're at good or hard, you
know and go look in that littlebaby's eyes, who's six weeks old
now and starting to smile alittle bit and just interact
from that place that says Idon't have to fix them, I don't
(29:06):
have to make it better for them,I actually can give advice when
it's asked for and to stayconscious in it.
And to recognize that thisopportunity is for me to
actually go fill myself upinstead of to take the battery
down to plug it back in, to takea break from work a little bit,
(29:26):
to take a break from my life,move outside of that comfort
zone and go into thatexploratory place where we have
a little bit of challenge butlike nice challenge, right.
And then the good news for Richis he actually so far it's in
the first week and he's excitedabout it.
The hardest part is that he hasbeen on his own timetable and so
(29:50):
being on somebody else's clockfrom 7am to 530.
It's a long day.
It's a long.
It's a long day right now, buthe'll get used to it and he has
to get up early.
That's his journey and hisexperience to have.
And the story that I tellmyself is that it's my job to
make it easier for him.
But that's not true.
That's not true job to make iteasier for him.
(30:14):
But that's not true, that's nottrue.
And then, when I'm gentle tomyself, when I allow myself to
be exactly where I am, part ofthat is to go and actually to
give yourself credit for how faryou've come, because when
you're raising yourconsciousness and when you're
awakening, you are in a newstation, you're at a new norm, a
(30:34):
new level of balance, and so Ithink that we can strive a
little bit too hard, too much,like I was saying earlier about
wanting to, like sort of get tosome place and what that place
(30:58):
is really wanting is to get to aplace where we have more peace,
more contentment, but reallyit's less pain, to get to a
place where there's less pain.
The pain isn't necessarily bad,because feelings are such a
profound part of being humanbeings.
I want to be without thesuffering, and the suffering is
the part of me that still getshooked about wanting it to be
(31:19):
different or wanting to controlhow it is, or wanting to save or
to fix or to help.
But we don't have to help orfix or save anyone.
Not that they're not worthhelping, fixing or saving, but
they need to discover thatthat's their own journey to do
in themselves.
I need to bring my energy backto myself and I need to restore
(31:40):
myself.
I need to make sure mybatteries are full so that I can
actually shine light and bepresent in whatever the
situation is wonderful or hard,from the most authentic loving
place that I can be, and fromthat place then we get to make
decisions that align with who weare and be with people that
(32:02):
align with who we are and allowwhat falls away to fall away and
allow what comes in to come in,all away and allow what comes
in to come in, and to have spaceto listen to the still small
voice, the subtle guidance thatis the wisdom that's within all
(32:24):
of us, this incredible abilityto listen to something greater
still that's outside of our egoand our fear and all of our
attachments and all of ourstories, and to give us the
strength to be in whatever we'rein, from a capacity of love
that takes us out of being avictim, because being in your
feelings, and even the feelingsof overwhelm or sadness or grief
(32:48):
, those are real, importantfeelings, but they're so much
more able to give youinformation if they're not
attached to the story of whatthey're doing and why they're
doing that and that that'shappening and doing to me.
So what I recognize and I'lluse as a close for the episode
today is, if I give myself graceto be exactly where I'm at,
(33:13):
from the soul recoverymetaphysical space where we are
owning our own feelings, wherewe're really looking at how do
we feel, we're letting go of alljudgment of everything outside
of us is good or bad and we'reallowing everyone to be in their
own life and their ownsituation.
(33:34):
We're detaching with love.
It allows us to actually seewhat is and to be with ourselves
as what is and then to giveourselves credit where credit is
due, to be able to say I lovebeing able to say I am an
entirely different human beingthan I was seven years ago.
And on some level, because somuch growth and healing and
(33:59):
ability to really really justsee and love people wherever
they are, full acceptance ofpeople wherever they are, those
emotions are so much richer anddeeper that it brings in that
side piece where I love them somuch.
I just want it to be easier forthem and then at the same time
(34:20):
I can say it's not fair for meto take away their experience.
Can I love them enough to letit be exactly what it is and
that they get to choose whatthat is.
And then I'm to love myselfenough to remember that I am
resourced by spirit, by theuniverse, by eternal love, by
(34:40):
eternal strength, that I can bepresent with whatever it is and
I can let myself be tired orworn out or overwhelmed or
depleted.
And then just, lastly, to giveourselves credit for the fact
that, if we are in that space,the likelihood is we are feeling
(35:01):
other people's true depth ofenergies more truly and we're
also feeling the wild cosmosstuff that's going on with all
the.
All.
The astrology is really intenseright now.
They say the energies arereally intense.
We've had eclipses and flaresand you know, if you believe in
(35:22):
all that energy shifting stuff,it's pretty intense.
Our country is in a reallydifficult place, which is why
this really painful interactionhappened with a family member
that I'm not sure whether it'sthe rupture of this relationship
forever.
It may be, and that's sad, andnot because I'm angry, but
(35:43):
because I have boundaries, andboundaries, given in love, allow
somebody else to be whereverthey are, but I'm going to
choose me, because I'm workingon that, for me to be wherever I
am right now.
So give yourself grace, giveyourself space, give yourself
(36:05):
the permission, if it is a hardday, to be in a hard day, and
know that as soon as it pops upinto a different feeling, you
can just move there.
You don't have to, you don'thave to dwell too much or try to
understand too much, like youdon't have to figure it all out.
Be in the present moment thatyou are, this moment.
(36:27):
Be wherever you are at rightnow and allow yourself to move
through everything that'shappening.
This, too, shall pass in eachstate and each space moving
through those nine steps of soulrecovery as a flow, right as a
flow, and a reminder that we'realways progressing, we're always
(36:49):
working, we're always awakening.
Just stay conscious in all ofit and it will be revealed to
you.
So I'm excited to go and havethis little trip and just see
how it all turns out, and I'mgonna let myself just be exactly
where I am in each moment.
I'm gonna allow that to be asit is and I hope you will do the
(37:12):
same Until next time.
Namaste, thank you for listeningand I hope that that helps
support your soul recoveryprocess.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the recover your soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
(37:33):
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
You can be a free Patreonmember and have access for
limited time to new episodes.
(37:54):
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
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