March 4, 2024 • 40 mins
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Being on my Soul Recovery journey to shed the layers of codependency and people-pleasing has been a gradual and consistent process. The profound transformation from this inner work has brought incredible rewards to my life. Recently, my husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary with a three-week trip to Indonesia. I can genuinely affirm that my spiritual journey towards a happier and healthier self allowed me to fully embrace and enjoy every moment, even during the challenging times.
For more information about Rev. Rachel Harrison and Recover Your Soul- visit the website www.recoveryoursoul.net use the code TRYASESSION for 40% off your first Spiritual Coaching session when you book on the website. Visit the website for all events and groups to get involved in Soul Recovery and the community.
Soul Recovery Support Group on Zoom -The 1st Monday of the Month, 6PM Mountain Time. This is a drop in support group where we can come together to explore, connect and support each other on our Soul Recovery journey. Visit the website to register and receive the meeting invite. Free to attend and donations appreciated.
This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.
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Episode Transcript
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Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
Does this sound familiar?
That you go on vacation and youhave a pretty good time, but
really what you're doing onvacation is taking care of
everybody else, making sure thatthey have what they need, that
they packed what they weresupposed to pack, that they had
an okay time on the plane, orthat everybody has the snacks
that they need, that you'rereally attending to everybody
(00:20):
else.
Well, that was me, and as I'mworking on my sole recovery now
that my kids have flown the nest, I'm actually starting to ask
questions like what do I want todo?
Where do I want to go?
How do I want to spend my time?
If I let everybody do whatthey're going to do, what does
my time look like?
(00:41):
These can be new questions forsome of us.
These are awarenesses thatmight need attention and on my
recent trip to Indonesia with myhusband, I had success from
working my sole recovery steps,from learning to let go of
codependency and people pleasing.
Enjoy the episode.
(01:02):
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast a spiritual path to a
happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life.
From my recovery of alcoholism,codependency and control
addiction, I was guided to sharethe tools and principles of
spirituality and sole recoveryto help others transform their
(01:25):
lives, as mine was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our interchange and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Welcome to Recover your Soul.
I'm Rev Rachel and I thank youfor coming and spending your
(01:48):
time with me today.
If you're new to the SoulRecovery journey, welcome to
this amazing community.
And if you've been here for awhile, I am so, so grateful.
This community means so much tome and together we're doing
this work to recover our souls.
This is a group effort and Iwant to thank you for all the
(02:08):
feedback and the emails and theresponses and the comments and
the reviews that let me knowthat this journey of us sharing
together, of me sharing my storyof healing with you, resonates
with you, that you hear yourselfin my story, that you get hope
(02:30):
and tools and practices andteachings spiritual teachings on
how you too can apply theseprinciples in your life and have
healing and peace, even whenthere's chaos on the outside.
Let go of people, pleasing.
Stand more firmly and with morestrength in your body and your
(02:52):
skin and your being.
We're here to learn how to letgo of everything on the outside
that we've been looking to fillus up and to learn how to love
ourselves and find strengthwithin ourselves to live the
life that is aligned for who weare here to be.
We're here for our soulrecovery journey.
(03:12):
With that said, I am so excitedbecause I want to share this
experience with you of havingbeen gone for the last month.
For most of February, rich and Iwere in Indonesia, and there is
so much to talk about in thesuccess of this work that I'm
doing.
That made it so that it reallywas a fantastic trip, that it
(03:37):
wasn't about expectations notbeing met.
It wasn't about spending awhole bunch of money on the
coming back and saying, oh myGod, we fought the whole time or
I was so disappointed.
It was truly a testament to thework that I've been doing to
allow myself to be present withexactly what it was, and what it
(04:00):
was had a lot of beautifulthings involved with it, and it
also had life.
It had travel, it hadsituations and, with that, this
work in learning how to let goof control and to recognize
what's hours to hold just makeseverything so much easier to
(04:21):
walk through, so that's what Iwanted to share with you today.
If you're ready for soulrecovery, as a spiritual coach I
can support your healing tohelp make real changes that will
bring you a life of peace,happiness, connection and
abundance.
You can also work in smallergroups by taking a deep dive in
a Zoom workshop or with me inperson at a retreat or an event.
(04:44):
Join others on the SoulRecovery Path once a month for
the free Zoom support group ordaily on the private Facebook
page.
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to book
coaching sessions with me orfind all the information you
need about soul recovery datesthat are coming up and how to
register for those groups andworkshops.
To support the podcast and thecommunity, check the links in
(05:07):
the show notes to make a smallmonthly donation or a one-time
donation of your choice.
That will make a huge impact tosupport this community and the
Soul Recovery mission.
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
I want to start by saying thatI've been on this exploration
(05:28):
journey of recognizing thecodependence and the people
pleasing that has been such afoundational piece of who I am
Moving into, especially now thatthe boys have become young
adults and live in another state, moving into this place where I
(05:48):
actually have permission andtime to begin to say who's
Rachel, who am I?
I am not the only person whohas spent an entire lifetime
learning how to take care ofeverybody else and then, when
that space gets opened up, youdon't actually know who you are
(06:10):
or what you like or what youwant to do.
We've spent our entire beingbeing present for somebody else,
making sure that somebodyelse's needs were met, that if
they liked this, you did that.
If they wanted to do this event, that's where you went.
If this is what the houseneeded, that's where you spent
(06:31):
the money.
If you did something, that'swhat you did.
It wasn't because you said, oh,this fills me up or this is
something I want to do.
There wasn't even space to askthose questions.
I didn't feel like I was beingignored.
I didn't feel like I was losingwhat I wanted to do.
It just wasn't even in the game.
It wasn't even a question whatdoes Rachel want to do?
(06:54):
The family was the number onepriority and making sure that
those boys had and dideverything that we could give
them and provide for them to dowas absolutely our number one
priority.
And Rich is a kid at heartforever, and there is a piece of
him.
We always joke that he's themost expensive family member
(07:17):
because he's the one with allthe toys, he's the one with all
of the surfboards, all of thedifferent tools, all the
motorcycles, all the.
There's a classic car in thedriveway, you know, I mean.
He is also very versed in whathe wants and how he wants his
(07:38):
life to be, so I accommodatedfor that too.
It wasn't really until I got outof that space and there was an
opening and I came out of thefog that I had been in an addict
, that I started to realize partof my sadness and part of my,
(08:00):
my mmm, my whole in my heart.
My emptiness was that I hadn'tgiven myself permission to begin
to wonder and really ask whatdo I want, what do I need, what
do I want to do?
I had this awareness, and Ithink I might have talked about
this in a podcast before, but inOctober I went to San Diego
(08:22):
with my best friend and hersisters, and each of the sisters
brought a friend, so there weresix of us, and one of the
things that my best friend saidto me was this is such a great
trip because everyone's justresponsible for themselves.
You don't have to take care ofanybody, you don't have to make
sure that everybody's okay.
(08:42):
We all somehow just are able tomorph together and have fun and
Everybody can do whatever theywant.
If you want to go on a bikeride with some of the people are
going the bike ride you go onthe bike ride.
If you don't want to go, noworry, don't go.
Don't go on the bike ride,right?
So I think I talked about thisin October.
But what I want to talk about is, I think the first morning that
(09:04):
we woke up there and I got outof bed and my best friend had
gotten her coffee and walked outon the pier, I had this moment
where I said, oh, I should goand see what she's doing on the
pier.
And then I said, no, you know,what I really want to do is I
really want to go walk on thebeach.
And as I was walking on thebeach with my headphones on, I
(09:25):
realized that was the first timeI had ever been on a trip that
I didn't ask what someone elsewanted to do or Accommodate
somebody.
That it was literally at 53years old last October, the
first time that I was someplacewhere I just said what do I want
(09:47):
?
Who do I want to be with me?
What do I want to do?
I want to go walk on the beachand I didn't worry.
Am I gone too long?
Have I gone too far?
Are they gonna worry about me?
Should I have brought somebody?
You know I had my phone.
If they wanted to text me, theycould text me.
That awareness opened upsomething for me that made me
(10:09):
realize on some level, thispermission that my best friend
had given me to Do whatever Iwanted Is actually.
The universe is always givingus this permission To take care
of ourselves, to see what wewant and how we want to be.
But I never understood that.
(10:30):
This part of me that hasaccommodated and people pleased
and taking care of and been thepeacemaker and and run circles.
I did that to myself, I didthat to me.
It wasn't imposed upon me, Iset it up.
(10:50):
So this journey that I'm on andthat I'm inviting you to be on
with me is this journey ofself-awareness for us to open up
Just a little and start torealize how much of that is
coming from the outside and howmuch of that is coming from my
internal dialogue with myselfthat says you should do whatever
(11:14):
.
Now I can guarantee you, on amany a trip that I have been on
with my entire family, that if Iwoke up in the morning and I
thought to myself, you know whatI really want to do, I really
want to go by myself and go walkon the beach, all I would have
had to say was I'm gonna go walkon the beach, I'll be back in a
couple hours.
And they would have said greatMe.
(11:36):
I'm the one who said I bettermake sure everyone gets some
breakfast.
I better make sure thateverybody has all their stuff.
Are you happy?
Are you getting along?
Can I help you with something?
Can I do something for you?
Can I accommodate you in someway?
That was me.
I did that.
I was the one who imposed thatupon myself.
And then and then, and thenthey get used to it, and Then we
(12:01):
are teaching them how to treatus.
We are teaching people how totreat us because we set up that
system, and Breaking the systemtakes time, it takes work, and
that's what I've been doing,that's what has been happening
in my life, for soul recovery is.
I have been doing this work tobreak these systems, and it
(12:25):
isn't breaking them in this badway.
It's Opening my own self andchanging the paradigm that's
within myself first, and then,with kindness, compassion, love
and connection, moving myrelationships with the people
around me and handing theirlives over to them again, and
(12:47):
having clear, honestcommunications.
So this trip that we went on isa beautiful example of Doing
something that met both rich andeyes needs.
Now, originally, this trip hadbeen set up in 2020, this
(13:07):
surfing on the Mentaway Islandstrip.
Rich and his buddy from collegehad planned on going on a
surfing trip and they were gonnabring their wives Right.
So this was not a joint trip ofa couple Saying, oh, let's do
this thing together.
It was a surfing trip and thewives could accompany if they so
desired.
Right, it had a very differentenergy and feel around it.
(13:30):
Well, the pandemic came, thetrip got cancelled and you know
we dealt with all the stuff thatwent with that.
So here we are and this piece ofstarting to say who am I, what
do I want in my life?
Not from a selfish place, notfrom a screw.
(13:51):
The rest of you and you can,you know, figure it out for
yourselves.
But from this place it's sayingwho am I in my soul?
What am I aligned with?
What really jazz is we?
What makes me feel Fabulous?
What aligns with the truth ofwho I am?
And these are deep questions andI'm telling you, I couldn't
have told you what I wanted fordinner years ago.
(14:13):
If somebody said, rachel, youcan eat wherever you want to eat
, I couldn't have told you.
I would have looked to myfamily to see what they wanted
to eat.
What kind of music do you like?
We've found music we liketogether.
No, what do you like?
These have been small babysteps that have started with.
What do you want to eat rightnow?
(14:35):
What kind of music do you wantto listen to?
What books do you want to read?
What shows do you want to watch?
What do you want to do withyour little moments of free time
?
Right, it's, it just startssmall.
So one of the things that I'vebeen really working on is
visioning my life.
(14:55):
Who am I and what do I want formy life five, ten, fifteen,
twenty years from now?
What is that?
And that visioning has grownthis, this community being Rev
Rachel, this standing in, who IRecognize that I am and that I
(15:17):
want to be.
This is part of it, and it'sincredibly powerful when we can
step into the truth of who weare and start to have
preferences and realize that itdoesn't mean anybody else can't
have their preferences.
There is enough for everyone.
There is literally enougheverything for everyone.
(15:41):
There is unlimited creativesupply.
So to start to realize thatwhen we stand and claim our own
selves, it isn't in rejection ofanybody else.
So one of my manifestations isthat I've lived in this climate
in Colorado and New Mexico myentire life and that Rich has
(16:05):
introduced me to the love of theocean and of water.
I really, really love being bythe ocean and, in general, if
it's not warm.
I'm not a big ocean swimmer,but I love being by the ocean
especially, and the river greatas well.
So that's benefited us in thesense that I'm there watching
(16:27):
surfing, I'm watching stand-uppaddle boarding, I'm watching
whatever their activities areand, because I'm not athletic
and have no desire to be,they're doing their athleticism
and I'm taking care of myselfand enjoying the shore.
Well, in the past that reallymeant that I was watching them
do the activities and it was notreally negative for me that I
(16:52):
was watching the activities andI feel like I had to watch the
activities, but I didn't haveenough connection to what I
wanted to do that at that pointthat I could say you go, do your
activity, you be in this race,you paddle, whatever it is
you're gonna paddle, you surf,you do.
You know, whatever you're gonnado, I'll be back in two hours
(17:14):
and I'm gonna go sit upstream ordown on the beach and do my own
thing, right?
So it's been these small babysteps to move into being in the
same environment and not beingcaught up in taking care of them
constantly.
So here we are.
I've been in the same climate myentire life and I've made
(17:35):
friends with winter.
There was some winters three orfour years back where I was
pretty pissed at winter, but nowI've realized it's gonna be
winter whether you pissed at itor not, so you may as well make
peace with winter.
For about 10 years I've beenmanifesting this, this real
awareness of the stream thatyour life is, what you think and
feel and believe it is.
So you can indeed create anenvironment that is more aligned
(17:59):
with who you are, and so mydream is that in the winter
January and February, so theheart of the winter.
For part or all of that, I amsomeplace warm and wonderful,
and preferably by the ocean.
This is my manifestation, thisis my dream.
So about six months ago, whenRich and I started manifesting
(18:23):
this, where can we go?
That we can.
My first idea, my first plan isthat I can work remotely, that
I can still run, recover yoursoul from wherever we are.
And we thought about Hawaii andwe thought about Mexico, we
thought about California and westarted really looking at
various things.
And Rich came and said you know, that trip to the mental wise
(18:47):
is a bucket list for me.
And when it got canceled, thatwas really, really sad for me.
And I realized, at 57 years old, that if I don't go on this
surf trip soon, I'm gonna ageout of the capacity to truly
ride the waves in the means inwhich my heart and soul wants to
(19:10):
.
And so we looked at this andwhat I loved is that we're in
such a healthier place that wecould look at this trip and
instead of me in the pastaccommodating oh yeah, I'll be
the wife that goes along andI'll watch you.
Right, it was looking at theresort.
What do they have to offer.
(19:30):
How can I be there with myselfbeing fulfilled?
And the realization was it'sgonna be great, it's gonna be
perfect, that I can do what Ilove to do, which is to sit and
meditate and read and write anddo the things that fill me up.
So we made this decision to dothis trip together.
(19:51):
And actually it's kind of funnybecause then Rich came to me
when we were pretty far along inplanning the trip and he said
oh my gosh, rach, I justrealized that it's our 30th
wedding anniversary trip andit's really important that we're
together and I want you to bereally happy and I'm gonna be
gone all the time off surfingand you're gonna be left alone.
(20:14):
And I said, yeah, that's whythis is gonna be so perfect,
because you're gonna be offdoing what you love and it's
gonna give me space to do what Ilove and I get to explore and
be me.
I get to do what I wanna do.
So it allowed us to both getwhat we needed and wanted and,
(20:36):
as I move more out of the spaceof accommodating and taking care
of this trip was another greatexample of being in a healthier
space.
With that, we had meetings, welooked at what the lists were
that were recommended from theresort of what to bring.
We took turns figuring out whowas gonna buy, or figure out or
(21:00):
take care of these things tomake sure we had everything that
we needed.
And I didn't pack his suitcasefor him.
I don't know how many pairs ofshorts he brought and what he
did outside of making sure thathe had enough surf equipment.
I didn't pay attention to anyof that stuff.
I packed my bag, I took care ofmy stuff and then we had the
(21:22):
joint stuff that we had agreedupon and that felt really good.
It felt like I could feel thesuccess of Soul Recovery because
it wasn't hard.
It wasn't like I was grittingmy teeth, not looking at what he
was packing.
It was truly just trusting andallowing that.
He is a grown man.
(21:42):
He's 57 years old and if hedoesn't bring enough something,
it will be okay, he will survive.
I don't have to take care ofhim like that as we prepare and
we get ready for the trip, andit was a lot of work to get
ready for the trip.
Being gone for three weeks andgetting everything ready
beforehand was pretty intense.
(22:03):
What I'm grateful for is that Iwas able to completely step
into this zone when it was timeto drive to the airport.
And I stepped into this trip asthe human being that I am and
who I am becoming.
(22:24):
And I got in the car with thehuman being that Rich is in this
moment and who he was going toshow up as the trip with.
And what I really recognizethat is part of the success of
what happened for us is that Ididn't also pack a bag that had
(22:45):
all of our past crap and all thetimes that didn't go well and
all the ways that in the pastman, we've been together for 32
years.
So let me tell you, there hasbeen a lot of experiences and if
I had chosen to pack my bag andbring all of that with me, to
(23:05):
drag along with me and to haveas part of the journey, we would
have not had the kind ofvacation that we had.
It would not have gone off theway that it did.
I got in the car with who he istoday, not having even
expectations of what that wasgoing to be, and the beautiful
(23:26):
thing is, because I can show upin that way, it gives him space
to be who he's going to be, andhe was giddy and excited and he
has all these little voices thathe uses to have these different
personalities, of all theseexciting things, and we were
making little videos and I lovedthis lightness that was within
(23:49):
him, this sort of young,cheerful, sweet, attentive human
being.
Now, that isn't the human beingthat always lives in the house
with me, but I think that we canshoot ourselves in the foot by
when we're getting what we want,when we almost can't accept it
(24:12):
because we're wanting to pointout well, it's not like this
when we're at home.
No, sometimes it isn't likethat when we're at home, but it
was like that on that moment andfor those three weeks that was
what it was like.
So I just soaked it up, I justloved it, I just appreciated it,
(24:33):
I was in it.
Now, we had huge amounts oftravel on either end.
If anybody's been to the otherside of the world, it takes a
long time to get there.
However, it's almost nothingcompared to what it was 100
years ago, right?
So even 50 years ago, we hadmultiple flights, two flights
(24:56):
that were eight and 10 hoursapiece.
There were connections, therewas getting the surfboard in
Jakarta back on an airplane andall the stuff that came with it,
and what I can report to you isin the past I think I would
have been more concerned withmaking sure that Rich was okay
(25:17):
on the travel, that he washaving a nice time on the flight
, that he was cared for, that hehad enough snacks or movies or
whatever the things were, and Ijust I didn't pay attention to
any of those things.
I sat next to my husband andlet him be wherever he was at,
(25:37):
for me to be present in my body,and this practice that I've
been doing of meditating andlearning to be right here right
now meant that I wasn'twondering how long the flight's
going to be, I just was.
It became timeless and openwhen I looked out the window, I
(26:00):
think for eight hours straight,at these amazing clouds.
With this going forward in time, it never became sunset, you
know, but it was like a sunsetfor eight hours.
I took a bazillion pictures ofwhat I look back now and the
pictures don't even begin toshow how beautiful it was.
I was setting myself up to justbe present, and so that allowed
(26:23):
us.
When we got to Padang and we gotto this lovely four star hotel,
which you go to a third worldcountry and for $55 a night you
get to stay in a four star hotelwith an amazing buffet
breakfast and be treated like aqueen and a king in this
gorgeous setting, and it's avery real world there.
(26:45):
It's a very different world andwe had these first three days
where we had tour guides thattook us in various places around
the city and outside of thecity for the first couple days
and it was just this venturethat we were having together and
it was really beautiful toreally see the value of the sole
(27:08):
recovery work that has allowedme to let go of so much control,
so much desire to try to figureeverything out, to be in charge
.
I had no idea what we're goingto do, no idea how we're going
to get there, no idea what washappening.
I just said yes and I justwalked with whatever the process
(27:29):
was, I just was and I allowedit to be whatever was coming and
to just enjoy every moment andnot wonder what was gonna happen
the next hour and not wonder ifRich was okay, but just to be
there.
So then, after a seven hours, itwas like seven or eight hours
(27:53):
of boat rides to get to theisland where we were at this
beautiful resort in the MintowaiIslands called Macaroni's
Resort, and when we showed upthere, it was an opportunity to
continue to practice this,because, as soon as we got there
, surfing was Rich's number onepriority right, and he has an
(28:18):
addictive mind.
I'm happy to report that hedidn't drink on this trip, first
of all, which I was gonna beincredibly surprised if he
didn't drink.
So I am incredibly surprised hedid not drink on this trip.
We had one conversation priorto going to the island, I think
at the hotel, and I just saidhey, how are you feeling about
(28:38):
all this?
What's your thoughts?
I didn't give him permission ortell him not to, I just was
curious and he said he was notfeeling a pull to drink and that
was his plan and he lived up tohis plan.
For the best that I know, forthe best that I know again, not
gonna hold on to it.
But he does have an addictivepersonality.
So surfing and some sports alot of sports can allow that
(29:03):
addictive personality to takeover.
But it wasn't horrendous, itjust was right.
So his attention was now on whathe went there to do, which is
surfing, and instead of meworrying about whether he was
getting good waves or what itwas for him, or being overly
involved in his experience.
(29:24):
I listened, I watched thevideos and the photos that they
would have every night.
I experienced it with him.
But I went and had my trip.
I went and did what I wanted todo.
I practiced what I had had thatexperience on the beach in San
(29:45):
Diego and I got to really, fortwo weeks, immerse myself in
this concept that what was itthat I would like to do at this
moment, regardless of whetherhe's out on the surf boat or not
?
What did I wanna do?
So I woke up in the morning, Iwent down and got my cup of
coffee.
I came back up.
(30:05):
They had a nice deck where youcould look out over the ocean.
I put on my headphones, Imeditated, I journaled.
I went down for breakfast Maybehe was done surfing, maybe he
wasn't.
I had massages.
They had massages at Indonesianrates, which was amazing.
I had like eight of them.
I went and walked the beaches.
(30:27):
At one point I wanted to spendmore time down by the beach and
I asked them if they had a beachchair and they said they didn't
, but they had a beanbag chair.
So they brought me this beanbagchair.
That was my chair for two weeksand I found this beautiful
place underneath these palms andI had this routine of going and
(30:48):
reading and having my music andjournaling and bringing my
computer and working on the bookand having up with the concepts
for upcoming workshops and forcourses.
And I just for the first time,I would say, in my adult life, I
really got to just do and bewhat I wanted to do and be.
(31:14):
And the second week, when thewaves went down, I discovered
snorkeling.
And so sometimes Rich wouldcome out snorkeling with me
because there was less waves,and sometimes the waves would be
up and I would go outsnorkeling by myself.
Oh my God, the concept of megoing out and snorkeling by
myself is nothing that I wouldhave done before, because I
(31:37):
didn't know that about myselfyet I hadn't had those
experiences to claim that partof me that wanted to go
snorkeling and if there was notRich to do it with me, I
wouldn't did it by myself.
I was being watched over by theboatmen, I was perfectly safe
and fine.
Rich had an extraordinary surfexperience, which included some
(32:00):
disappointment, and I didn't tryto fix it for him, I just
listened.
It included him getting hurtand having some reef cuts and a
big cut on his arm from the fincutting him, and I just was
present with him and hecontinued to be this sweet,
(32:21):
aware, connected person, alongwith really being connected with
the surfing.
And it was really fun aboutthis particular location was I
couldn't watch him surf the waythat the wave is you actually
take a boat out to the wave.
It gave me permission that Ididn't need, right, because this
(32:42):
is permission we're givingourselves, but it gave me
permission to not have to feellike I should watch him, so I
didn't watch him, I let him havehis experience and then we
would come back and connect.
And I'm so grateful becausewhen you align with your true
(33:05):
self, with connection withspirit, when you are in a place
where you feel your wholenessand you're able to start to
recognize the places where youcan be at a balance and you're
adjusting to them yourself, lifeeases up a little bit right.
Like he really was having someexistential crises over his
(33:30):
being 57 and not being able toserve to the level he is just
there where he can serve verywell, but not like he wished
that he could.
You know, I mean, there arepeople there who serve all the
time surf instructors, peoplewho work there, who were amazing
, right, like it didn't matterwhat kind of wave they had, they
(33:52):
were amazing and comparison isthe thief of joy.
Comparison will take everythingthat is beautiful and wonderful
and make you feel like crap.
And he had some of thoseexperiences of having to work
through that and look at thatfor himself.
But the new soul recoveredRachel can just see that this is
(34:17):
part of his process.
But placate him.
Oh honey, but you're so greatand you're going to be like no,
I didn't discount or pretend, Ijust let him be, I just
witnessed it with him.
Through that, there was adeeper connection between us and
(34:38):
he worked through it.
He worked through it and I'munbelievably amazed.
I will see if he comes on andwants to do a podcast to talk
more about it.
He, through that experience,came back home and said you know
, what I really realize is I'vespent so much of my life looking
(34:59):
for outside things to bring mejoy and happiness and to give me
some sort of approval and I, onsome level, was wanting to do
that with this trip and I ameven more aware of the need to
have happiness and fulfillmentfrom within.
Wow, right, like that.
(35:21):
That is my awareness, butthat's not an awareness that I
could give him.
I'm sure I've said it, I'm surehe's heard me say it.
He's listened to the podcast.
He's come to me speaking atchurches.
He heard it and felt it for thefirst time for himself in a way
that it is going to move hisjourney for him Now.
(35:42):
The rich that was sweet isstill here.
He's still here.
But the one that was superlighthearted and easygoing and
nothing was really getting tohim except for the waves, he's
back in real life and we cameback from this beautiful trip
and there's some real life stuffgoing on.
Bill's got to be paid.
(36:03):
When you have two self-employedpeople who go on vacation, you
not only spend the money on thevacation but you don't make
money while you're gone.
So there's some stress, but inthis new soul recovery place,
we're dealing with it better.
I'm dealing with it better.
I'm allowing it to be as it isand not getting overwhelmed and
(36:27):
wanting it to stay in this ideal, beautiful place that we got to
experience for three weeks.
I'm going to savor and love thatand, most importantly, I'm
going to continue to work onasking the question what does
Rachel want?
What does Rachel enjoy?
How can I take those principlesand apply them even more deeply
(36:52):
in my everyday life, in my worklife, in my friend's life?
How can I really really savorthis truth about being fully
embraced in who I am, not in aselfish way, but in a way that
embraces the truth of who I am,without needing to people please
(37:14):
or be codependent, because thetruth is, when I'm in that place
, all the relationships workbetter anyway.
So doesn't it benefit everyonefor us to be in our whole selves
?
Absolutely, it does.
So if you need help with any ofthis, if any of this resonates
with you, if you would like towork on the nine steps of soul
(37:36):
recovery in a single session, tojust talk about something
that's up or to work the steps,go to the website.
Book a coaching session.
I am here for you.
I'm also offering retreats thisyear.
We're going to do threeretreats this year and have
courses coming up, and we'regoing to be doing more Zoom
(37:57):
workshops.
We're doing this together.
We're learning how to trulyembrace the truth of who we are
and let go of control, beingokay even when others aren't
okay and taking our power backinner peace and love and joy.
A spiritual path to a happy,healthy life Soul recovery love
(38:21):
it Until next time.
Namaste, thank you for listeningto the Recovery Soul Podcast
and if you loved what you heardhere, every Friday we have a
bonus episode and you can accessthis by becoming a subscriber
through Apple Podcasts for only$3.99 a month, or become a
(38:41):
Patreon member, and on thisplatform you can choose $5.15 or
$25 a month to show what youwant to support the show with On
both of these subscriberplatforms is an entire catalog
of back episodes intended toinspire and support you on your
soul recovery journey.
I really want to inviteeverybody to attend the free
(39:03):
once a month, every first Mondayof the month support group.
This is on Zoom.
Everyone is welcome to attendand by giving a like or a review
and sharing this with yourfriends and family really helps
us to share the soul recoverymessage with even more people.
We are on social media.
We are on all the platforms.
I am on TikTok.
You can listen to guidedmeditations by Rev Rachel
(39:25):
Harrison on Insight Timer.
Thank you for supporting theshow.
Thank you for being part of thecommunity To find out more
about soul recovery andeverything that's being offered,
visit the websitewwwrecoveryoursoulnet.
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
Does this sound familiar?
That you go on vacation and youhave a pretty good time, but
really what you're doing onvacation is taking care of
everybody else, making sure thatthey have what they need, that
they packed what they weresupposed to pack, that they had
an okay time on the plane, orthat everybody has the snacks
that they need, that you'rereally attending to everybody
(00:20):
else.
Well, that was me, and as I'mworking on my sole recovery now
that my kids have flown the nest, I'm actually starting to ask
questions like what do I want todo?
Where do I want to go?
How do I want to spend my time?
If I let everybody do whatthey're going to do, what does
my time look like?
(00:41):
These can be new questions forsome of us.
These are awarenesses thatmight need attention and on my
recent trip to Indonesia with myhusband, I had success from
working my sole recovery steps,from learning to let go of
codependency and people pleasing.
Enjoy the episode.
(01:02):
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast a spiritual path to a
happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life.
From my recovery of alcoholism,codependency and control
addiction, I was guided to sharethe tools and principles of
spirituality and sole recoveryto help others transform their
(01:25):
lives, as mine was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our interchange and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Welcome to Recover your Soul.
I'm Rev Rachel and I thank youfor coming and spending your
(01:48):
time with me today.
If you're new to the SoulRecovery journey, welcome to
this amazing community.
And if you've been here for awhile, I am so, so grateful.
This community means so much tome and together we're doing
this work to recover our souls.
This is a group effort and Iwant to thank you for all the
(02:08):
feedback and the emails and theresponses and the comments and
the reviews that let me knowthat this journey of us sharing
together, of me sharing my storyof healing with you, resonates
with you, that you hear yourselfin my story, that you get hope
(02:30):
and tools and practices andteachings spiritual teachings on
how you too can apply theseprinciples in your life and have
healing and peace, even whenthere's chaos on the outside.
Let go of people, pleasing.
Stand more firmly and with morestrength in your body and your
(02:52):
skin and your being.
We're here to learn how to letgo of everything on the outside
that we've been looking to fillus up and to learn how to love
ourselves and find strengthwithin ourselves to live the
life that is aligned for who weare here to be.
We're here for our soulrecovery journey.
(03:12):
With that said, I am so excitedbecause I want to share this
experience with you of havingbeen gone for the last month.
For most of February, rich and Iwere in Indonesia, and there is
so much to talk about in thesuccess of this work that I'm
doing.
That made it so that it reallywas a fantastic trip, that it
(03:37):
wasn't about expectations notbeing met.
It wasn't about spending awhole bunch of money on the
coming back and saying, oh myGod, we fought the whole time or
I was so disappointed.
It was truly a testament to thework that I've been doing to
allow myself to be present withexactly what it was, and what it
(04:00):
was had a lot of beautifulthings involved with it, and it
also had life.
It had travel, it hadsituations and, with that, this
work in learning how to let goof control and to recognize
what's hours to hold just makeseverything so much easier to
(04:21):
walk through, so that's what Iwanted to share with you today.
If you're ready for soulrecovery, as a spiritual coach I
can support your healing tohelp make real changes that will
bring you a life of peace,happiness, connection and
abundance.
You can also work in smallergroups by taking a deep dive in
a Zoom workshop or with me inperson at a retreat or an event.
(04:44):
Join others on the SoulRecovery Path once a month for
the free Zoom support group ordaily on the private Facebook
page.
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to book
coaching sessions with me orfind all the information you
need about soul recovery datesthat are coming up and how to
register for those groups andworkshops.
To support the podcast and thecommunity, check the links in
(05:07):
the show notes to make a smallmonthly donation or a one-time
donation of your choice.
That will make a huge impact tosupport this community and the
Soul Recovery mission.
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
I want to start by saying thatI've been on this exploration
(05:28):
journey of recognizing thecodependence and the people
pleasing that has been such afoundational piece of who I am
Moving into, especially now thatthe boys have become young
adults and live in another state, moving into this place where I
(05:48):
actually have permission andtime to begin to say who's
Rachel, who am I?
I am not the only person whohas spent an entire lifetime
learning how to take care ofeverybody else and then, when
that space gets opened up, youdon't actually know who you are
(06:10):
or what you like or what youwant to do.
We've spent our entire beingbeing present for somebody else,
making sure that somebodyelse's needs were met, that if
they liked this, you did that.
If they wanted to do this event, that's where you went.
If this is what the houseneeded, that's where you spent
(06:31):
the money.
If you did something, that'swhat you did.
It wasn't because you said, oh,this fills me up or this is
something I want to do.
There wasn't even space to askthose questions.
I didn't feel like I was beingignored.
I didn't feel like I was losingwhat I wanted to do.
It just wasn't even in the game.
It wasn't even a question whatdoes Rachel want to do?
(06:54):
The family was the number onepriority and making sure that
those boys had and dideverything that we could give
them and provide for them to dowas absolutely our number one
priority.
And Rich is a kid at heartforever, and there is a piece of
him.
We always joke that he's themost expensive family member
(07:17):
because he's the one with allthe toys, he's the one with all
of the surfboards, all of thedifferent tools, all the
motorcycles, all the.
There's a classic car in thedriveway, you know, I mean.
He is also very versed in whathe wants and how he wants his
(07:38):
life to be, so I accommodatedfor that too.
It wasn't really until I got outof that space and there was an
opening and I came out of thefog that I had been in an addict
, that I started to realize partof my sadness and part of my,
(08:00):
my mmm, my whole in my heart.
My emptiness was that I hadn'tgiven myself permission to begin
to wonder and really ask whatdo I want, what do I need, what
do I want to do?
I had this awareness, and Ithink I might have talked about
this in a podcast before, but inOctober I went to San Diego
(08:22):
with my best friend and hersisters, and each of the sisters
brought a friend, so there weresix of us, and one of the
things that my best friend saidto me was this is such a great
trip because everyone's justresponsible for themselves.
You don't have to take care ofanybody, you don't have to make
sure that everybody's okay.
(08:42):
We all somehow just are able tomorph together and have fun and
Everybody can do whatever theywant.
If you want to go on a bikeride with some of the people are
going the bike ride you go onthe bike ride.
If you don't want to go, noworry, don't go.
Don't go on the bike ride,right?
So I think I talked about thisin October.
But what I want to talk about is, I think the first morning that
(09:04):
we woke up there and I got outof bed and my best friend had
gotten her coffee and walked outon the pier, I had this moment
where I said, oh, I should goand see what she's doing on the
pier.
And then I said, no, you know,what I really want to do is I
really want to go walk on thebeach.
And as I was walking on thebeach with my headphones on, I
(09:25):
realized that was the first timeI had ever been on a trip that
I didn't ask what someone elsewanted to do or Accommodate
somebody.
That it was literally at 53years old last October, the
first time that I was someplacewhere I just said what do I want
(09:47):
?
Who do I want to be with me?
What do I want to do?
I want to go walk on the beachand I didn't worry.
Am I gone too long?
Have I gone too far?
Are they gonna worry about me?
Should I have brought somebody?
You know I had my phone.
If they wanted to text me, theycould text me.
That awareness opened upsomething for me that made me
(10:09):
realize on some level, thispermission that my best friend
had given me to Do whatever Iwanted Is actually.
The universe is always givingus this permission To take care
of ourselves, to see what wewant and how we want to be.
But I never understood that.
(10:30):
This part of me that hasaccommodated and people pleased
and taking care of and been thepeacemaker and and run circles.
I did that to myself, I didthat to me.
It wasn't imposed upon me, Iset it up.
(10:50):
So this journey that I'm on andthat I'm inviting you to be on
with me is this journey ofself-awareness for us to open up
Just a little and start torealize how much of that is
coming from the outside and howmuch of that is coming from my
internal dialogue with myselfthat says you should do whatever
(11:14):
.
Now I can guarantee you, on amany a trip that I have been on
with my entire family, that if Iwoke up in the morning and I
thought to myself, you know whatI really want to do, I really
want to go by myself and go walkon the beach, all I would have
had to say was I'm gonna go walkon the beach, I'll be back in a
couple hours.
And they would have said greatMe.
(11:36):
I'm the one who said I bettermake sure everyone gets some
breakfast.
I better make sure thateverybody has all their stuff.
Are you happy?
Are you getting along?
Can I help you with something?
Can I do something for you?
Can I accommodate you in someway?
That was me.
I did that.
I was the one who imposed thatupon myself.
And then and then, and thenthey get used to it, and Then we
(12:01):
are teaching them how to treatus.
We are teaching people how totreat us because we set up that
system, and Breaking the systemtakes time, it takes work, and
that's what I've been doing,that's what has been happening
in my life, for soul recovery is.
I have been doing this work tobreak these systems, and it
(12:25):
isn't breaking them in this badway.
It's Opening my own self andchanging the paradigm that's
within myself first, and then,with kindness, compassion, love
and connection, moving myrelationships with the people
around me and handing theirlives over to them again, and
(12:47):
having clear, honestcommunications.
So this trip that we went on isa beautiful example of Doing
something that met both rich andeyes needs.
Now, originally, this trip hadbeen set up in 2020, this
(13:07):
surfing on the Mentaway Islandstrip.
Rich and his buddy from collegehad planned on going on a
surfing trip and they were gonnabring their wives Right.
So this was not a joint trip ofa couple Saying, oh, let's do
this thing together.
It was a surfing trip and thewives could accompany if they so
desired.
Right, it had a very differentenergy and feel around it.
(13:30):
Well, the pandemic came, thetrip got cancelled and you know
we dealt with all the stuff thatwent with that.
So here we are and this piece ofstarting to say who am I, what
do I want in my life?
Not from a selfish place, notfrom a screw.
(13:51):
The rest of you and you can,you know, figure it out for
yourselves.
But from this place it's sayingwho am I in my soul?
What am I aligned with?
What really jazz is we?
What makes me feel Fabulous?
What aligns with the truth ofwho I am?
And these are deep questions andI'm telling you, I couldn't
have told you what I wanted fordinner years ago.
(14:13):
If somebody said, rachel, youcan eat wherever you want to eat
, I couldn't have told you.
I would have looked to myfamily to see what they wanted
to eat.
What kind of music do you like?
We've found music we liketogether.
No, what do you like?
These have been small babysteps that have started with.
What do you want to eat rightnow?
(14:35):
What kind of music do you wantto listen to?
What books do you want to read?
What shows do you want to watch?
What do you want to do withyour little moments of free time
?
Right, it's, it just startssmall.
So one of the things that I'vebeen really working on is
visioning my life.
(14:55):
Who am I and what do I want formy life five, ten, fifteen,
twenty years from now?
What is that?
And that visioning has grownthis, this community being Rev
Rachel, this standing in, who IRecognize that I am and that I
(15:17):
want to be.
This is part of it, and it'sincredibly powerful when we can
step into the truth of who weare and start to have
preferences and realize that itdoesn't mean anybody else can't
have their preferences.
There is enough for everyone.
There is literally enougheverything for everyone.
(15:41):
There is unlimited creativesupply.
So to start to realize thatwhen we stand and claim our own
selves, it isn't in rejection ofanybody else.
So one of my manifestations isthat I've lived in this climate
in Colorado and New Mexico myentire life and that Rich has
(16:05):
introduced me to the love of theocean and of water.
I really, really love being bythe ocean and, in general, if
it's not warm.
I'm not a big ocean swimmer,but I love being by the ocean
especially, and the river greatas well.
So that's benefited us in thesense that I'm there watching
(16:27):
surfing, I'm watching stand-uppaddle boarding, I'm watching
whatever their activities areand, because I'm not athletic
and have no desire to be,they're doing their athleticism
and I'm taking care of myselfand enjoying the shore.
Well, in the past that reallymeant that I was watching them
do the activities and it was notreally negative for me that I
(16:52):
was watching the activities andI feel like I had to watch the
activities, but I didn't haveenough connection to what I
wanted to do that at that pointthat I could say you go, do your
activity, you be in this race,you paddle, whatever it is
you're gonna paddle, you surf,you do.
You know, whatever you're gonnado, I'll be back in two hours
(17:14):
and I'm gonna go sit upstream ordown on the beach and do my own
thing, right?
So it's been these small babysteps to move into being in the
same environment and not beingcaught up in taking care of them
constantly.
So here we are.
I've been in the same climate myentire life and I've made
(17:35):
friends with winter.
There was some winters three orfour years back where I was
pretty pissed at winter, but nowI've realized it's gonna be
winter whether you pissed at itor not, so you may as well make
peace with winter.
For about 10 years I've beenmanifesting this, this real
awareness of the stream thatyour life is, what you think and
feel and believe it is.
So you can indeed create anenvironment that is more aligned
(17:59):
with who you are, and so mydream is that in the winter
January and February, so theheart of the winter.
For part or all of that, I amsomeplace warm and wonderful,
and preferably by the ocean.
This is my manifestation, thisis my dream.
So about six months ago, whenRich and I started manifesting
(18:23):
this, where can we go?
That we can.
My first idea, my first plan isthat I can work remotely, that
I can still run, recover yoursoul from wherever we are.
And we thought about Hawaii andwe thought about Mexico, we
thought about California and westarted really looking at
various things.
And Rich came and said you know, that trip to the mental wise
(18:47):
is a bucket list for me.
And when it got canceled, thatwas really, really sad for me.
And I realized, at 57 years old, that if I don't go on this
surf trip soon, I'm gonna ageout of the capacity to truly
ride the waves in the means inwhich my heart and soul wants to
(19:10):
.
And so we looked at this andwhat I loved is that we're in
such a healthier place that wecould look at this trip and
instead of me in the pastaccommodating oh yeah, I'll be
the wife that goes along andI'll watch you.
Right, it was looking at theresort.
What do they have to offer.
(19:30):
How can I be there with myselfbeing fulfilled?
And the realization was it'sgonna be great, it's gonna be
perfect, that I can do what Ilove to do, which is to sit and
meditate and read and write anddo the things that fill me up.
So we made this decision to dothis trip together.
(19:51):
And actually it's kind of funnybecause then Rich came to me
when we were pretty far along inplanning the trip and he said
oh my gosh, rach, I justrealized that it's our 30th
wedding anniversary trip andit's really important that we're
together and I want you to bereally happy and I'm gonna be
gone all the time off surfingand you're gonna be left alone.
(20:14):
And I said, yeah, that's whythis is gonna be so perfect,
because you're gonna be offdoing what you love and it's
gonna give me space to do what Ilove and I get to explore and
be me.
I get to do what I wanna do.
So it allowed us to both getwhat we needed and wanted and,
(20:36):
as I move more out of the spaceof accommodating and taking care
of this trip was another greatexample of being in a healthier
space.
With that, we had meetings, welooked at what the lists were
that were recommended from theresort of what to bring.
We took turns figuring out whowas gonna buy, or figure out or
(21:00):
take care of these things tomake sure we had everything that
we needed.
And I didn't pack his suitcasefor him.
I don't know how many pairs ofshorts he brought and what he
did outside of making sure thathe had enough surf equipment.
I didn't pay attention to anyof that stuff.
I packed my bag, I took care ofmy stuff and then we had the
(21:22):
joint stuff that we had agreedupon and that felt really good.
It felt like I could feel thesuccess of Soul Recovery because
it wasn't hard.
It wasn't like I was grittingmy teeth, not looking at what he
was packing.
It was truly just trusting andallowing that.
He is a grown man.
(21:42):
He's 57 years old and if hedoesn't bring enough something,
it will be okay, he will survive.
I don't have to take care ofhim like that as we prepare and
we get ready for the trip, andit was a lot of work to get
ready for the trip.
Being gone for three weeks andgetting everything ready
beforehand was pretty intense.
(22:03):
What I'm grateful for is that Iwas able to completely step
into this zone when it was timeto drive to the airport.
And I stepped into this trip asthe human being that I am and
who I am becoming.
(22:24):
And I got in the car with thehuman being that Rich is in this
moment and who he was going toshow up as the trip with.
And what I really recognizethat is part of the success of
what happened for us is that Ididn't also pack a bag that had
(22:45):
all of our past crap and all thetimes that didn't go well and
all the ways that in the pastman, we've been together for 32
years.
So let me tell you, there hasbeen a lot of experiences and if
I had chosen to pack my bag andbring all of that with me, to
(23:05):
drag along with me and to haveas part of the journey, we would
have not had the kind ofvacation that we had.
It would not have gone off theway that it did.
I got in the car with who he istoday, not having even
expectations of what that wasgoing to be, and the beautiful
(23:26):
thing is, because I can show upin that way, it gives him space
to be who he's going to be, andhe was giddy and excited and he
has all these little voices thathe uses to have these different
personalities, of all theseexciting things, and we were
making little videos and I lovedthis lightness that was within
(23:49):
him, this sort of young,cheerful, sweet, attentive human
being.
Now, that isn't the human beingthat always lives in the house
with me, but I think that we canshoot ourselves in the foot by
when we're getting what we want,when we almost can't accept it
(24:12):
because we're wanting to pointout well, it's not like this
when we're at home.
No, sometimes it isn't likethat when we're at home, but it
was like that on that moment andfor those three weeks that was
what it was like.
So I just soaked it up, I justloved it, I just appreciated it,
(24:33):
I was in it.
Now, we had huge amounts oftravel on either end.
If anybody's been to the otherside of the world, it takes a
long time to get there.
However, it's almost nothingcompared to what it was 100
years ago, right?
So even 50 years ago, we hadmultiple flights, two flights
(24:56):
that were eight and 10 hoursapiece.
There were connections, therewas getting the surfboard in
Jakarta back on an airplane andall the stuff that came with it,
and what I can report to you isin the past I think I would
have been more concerned withmaking sure that Rich was okay
(25:17):
on the travel, that he washaving a nice time on the flight
, that he was cared for, that hehad enough snacks or movies or
whatever the things were, and Ijust I didn't pay attention to
any of those things.
I sat next to my husband andlet him be wherever he was at,
(25:37):
for me to be present in my body,and this practice that I've
been doing of meditating andlearning to be right here right
now meant that I wasn'twondering how long the flight's
going to be, I just was.
It became timeless and openwhen I looked out the window, I
(26:00):
think for eight hours straight,at these amazing clouds.
With this going forward in time, it never became sunset, you
know, but it was like a sunsetfor eight hours.
I took a bazillion pictures ofwhat I look back now and the
pictures don't even begin toshow how beautiful it was.
I was setting myself up to justbe present, and so that allowed
(26:23):
us.
When we got to Padang and we gotto this lovely four star hotel,
which you go to a third worldcountry and for $55 a night you
get to stay in a four star hotelwith an amazing buffet
breakfast and be treated like aqueen and a king in this
gorgeous setting, and it's avery real world there.
(26:45):
It's a very different world andwe had these first three days
where we had tour guides thattook us in various places around
the city and outside of thecity for the first couple days
and it was just this venturethat we were having together and
it was really beautiful toreally see the value of the sole
(27:08):
recovery work that has allowedme to let go of so much control,
so much desire to try to figureeverything out, to be in charge
.
I had no idea what we're goingto do, no idea how we're going
to get there, no idea what washappening.
I just said yes and I justwalked with whatever the process
(27:29):
was, I just was and I allowedit to be whatever was coming and
to just enjoy every moment andnot wonder what was gonna happen
the next hour and not wonder ifRich was okay, but just to be
there.
So then, after a seven hours, itwas like seven or eight hours
(27:53):
of boat rides to get to theisland where we were at this
beautiful resort in the MintowaiIslands called Macaroni's
Resort, and when we showed upthere, it was an opportunity to
continue to practice this,because, as soon as we got there
, surfing was Rich's number onepriority right, and he has an
(28:18):
addictive mind.
I'm happy to report that hedidn't drink on this trip, first
of all, which I was gonna beincredibly surprised if he
didn't drink.
So I am incredibly surprised hedid not drink on this trip.
We had one conversation priorto going to the island, I think
at the hotel, and I just saidhey, how are you feeling about
(28:38):
all this?
What's your thoughts?
I didn't give him permission ortell him not to, I just was
curious and he said he was notfeeling a pull to drink and that
was his plan and he lived up tohis plan.
For the best that I know, forthe best that I know again, not
gonna hold on to it.
But he does have an addictivepersonality.
So surfing and some sports alot of sports can allow that
(29:03):
addictive personality to takeover.
But it wasn't horrendous, itjust was right.
So his attention was now on whathe went there to do, which is
surfing, and instead of meworrying about whether he was
getting good waves or what itwas for him, or being overly
involved in his experience.
(29:24):
I listened, I watched thevideos and the photos that they
would have every night.
I experienced it with him.
But I went and had my trip.
I went and did what I wanted todo.
I practiced what I had had thatexperience on the beach in San
(29:45):
Diego and I got to really, fortwo weeks, immerse myself in
this concept that what was itthat I would like to do at this
moment, regardless of whetherhe's out on the surf boat or not
?
What did I wanna do?
So I woke up in the morning, Iwent down and got my cup of
coffee.
I came back up.
(30:05):
They had a nice deck where youcould look out over the ocean.
I put on my headphones, Imeditated, I journaled.
I went down for breakfast Maybehe was done surfing, maybe he
wasn't.
I had massages.
They had massages at Indonesianrates, which was amazing.
I had like eight of them.
I went and walked the beaches.
(30:27):
At one point I wanted to spendmore time down by the beach and
I asked them if they had a beachchair and they said they didn't
, but they had a beanbag chair.
So they brought me this beanbagchair.
That was my chair for two weeksand I found this beautiful
place underneath these palms andI had this routine of going and
(30:48):
reading and having my music andjournaling and bringing my
computer and working on the bookand having up with the concepts
for upcoming workshops and forcourses.
And I just for the first time,I would say, in my adult life, I
really got to just do and bewhat I wanted to do and be.
(31:14):
And the second week, when thewaves went down, I discovered
snorkeling.
And so sometimes Rich wouldcome out snorkeling with me
because there was less waves,and sometimes the waves would be
up and I would go outsnorkeling by myself.
Oh my God, the concept of megoing out and snorkeling by
myself is nothing that I wouldhave done before, because I
(31:37):
didn't know that about myselfyet I hadn't had those
experiences to claim that partof me that wanted to go
snorkeling and if there was notRich to do it with me, I
wouldn't did it by myself.
I was being watched over by theboatmen, I was perfectly safe
and fine.
Rich had an extraordinary surfexperience, which included some
(32:00):
disappointment, and I didn't tryto fix it for him, I just
listened.
It included him getting hurtand having some reef cuts and a
big cut on his arm from the fincutting him, and I just was
present with him and hecontinued to be this sweet,
(32:21):
aware, connected person, alongwith really being connected with
the surfing.
And it was really fun aboutthis particular location was I
couldn't watch him surf the waythat the wave is you actually
take a boat out to the wave.
It gave me permission that Ididn't need, right, because this
(32:42):
is permission we're givingourselves, but it gave me
permission to not have to feellike I should watch him, so I
didn't watch him, I let him havehis experience and then we
would come back and connect.
And I'm so grateful becausewhen you align with your true
(33:05):
self, with connection withspirit, when you are in a place
where you feel your wholenessand you're able to start to
recognize the places where youcan be at a balance and you're
adjusting to them yourself, lifeeases up a little bit right.
Like he really was having someexistential crises over his
(33:30):
being 57 and not being able toserve to the level he is just
there where he can serve verywell, but not like he wished
that he could.
You know, I mean, there arepeople there who serve all the
time surf instructors, peoplewho work there, who were amazing
, right, like it didn't matterwhat kind of wave they had, they
(33:52):
were amazing and comparison isthe thief of joy.
Comparison will take everythingthat is beautiful and wonderful
and make you feel like crap.
And he had some of thoseexperiences of having to work
through that and look at thatfor himself.
But the new soul recoveredRachel can just see that this is
(34:17):
part of his process.
But placate him.
Oh honey, but you're so greatand you're going to be like no,
I didn't discount or pretend, Ijust let him be, I just
witnessed it with him.
Through that, there was adeeper connection between us and
(34:38):
he worked through it.
He worked through it and I'munbelievably amazed.
I will see if he comes on andwants to do a podcast to talk
more about it.
He, through that experience,came back home and said you know
, what I really realize is I'vespent so much of my life looking
(34:59):
for outside things to bring mejoy and happiness and to give me
some sort of approval and I, onsome level, was wanting to do
that with this trip and I ameven more aware of the need to
have happiness and fulfillmentfrom within.
Wow, right, like that.
(35:21):
That is my awareness, butthat's not an awareness that I
could give him.
I'm sure I've said it, I'm surehe's heard me say it.
He's listened to the podcast.
He's come to me speaking atchurches.
He heard it and felt it for thefirst time for himself in a way
that it is going to move hisjourney for him Now.
(35:42):
The rich that was sweet isstill here.
He's still here.
But the one that was superlighthearted and easygoing and
nothing was really getting tohim except for the waves, he's
back in real life and we cameback from this beautiful trip
and there's some real life stuffgoing on.
Bill's got to be paid.
(36:03):
When you have two self-employedpeople who go on vacation, you
not only spend the money on thevacation but you don't make
money while you're gone.
So there's some stress, but inthis new soul recovery place,
we're dealing with it better.
I'm dealing with it better.
I'm allowing it to be as it isand not getting overwhelmed and
(36:27):
wanting it to stay in this ideal, beautiful place that we got to
experience for three weeks.
I'm going to savor and love thatand, most importantly, I'm
going to continue to work onasking the question what does
Rachel want?
What does Rachel enjoy?
How can I take those principlesand apply them even more deeply
(36:52):
in my everyday life, in my worklife, in my friend's life?
How can I really really savorthis truth about being fully
embraced in who I am, not in aselfish way, but in a way that
embraces the truth of who I am,without needing to people please
(37:14):
or be codependent, because thetruth is, when I'm in that place
, all the relationships workbetter anyway.
So doesn't it benefit everyonefor us to be in our whole selves
?
Absolutely, it does.
So if you need help with any ofthis, if any of this resonates
with you, if you would like towork on the nine steps of soul
(37:36):
recovery in a single session, tojust talk about something
that's up or to work the steps,go to the website.
Book a coaching session.
I am here for you.
I'm also offering retreats thisyear.
We're going to do threeretreats this year and have
courses coming up, and we'regoing to be doing more Zoom
(37:57):
workshops.
We're doing this together.
We're learning how to trulyembrace the truth of who we are
and let go of control, beingokay even when others aren't
okay and taking our power backinner peace and love and joy.
A spiritual path to a happy,healthy life Soul recovery love
(38:21):
it Until next time.
Namaste, thank you for listeningto the Recovery Soul Podcast
and if you loved what you heardhere, every Friday we have a
bonus episode and you can accessthis by becoming a subscriber
through Apple Podcasts for only$3.99 a month, or become a
(38:41):
Patreon member, and on thisplatform you can choose $5.15 or
$25 a month to show what youwant to support the show with On
both of these subscriberplatforms is an entire catalog
of back episodes intended toinspire and support you on your
soul recovery journey.
I really want to inviteeverybody to attend the free
(39:03):
once a month, every first Mondayof the month support group.
This is on Zoom.
Everyone is welcome to attendand by giving a like or a review
and sharing this with yourfriends and family really helps
us to share the soul recoverymessage with even more people.
We are on social media.
We are on all the platforms.
I am on TikTok.
You can listen to guidedmeditations by Rev Rachel
(39:25):
Harrison on Insight Timer.
Thank you for supporting theshow.
Thank you for being part of thecommunity To find out more
about soul recovery andeverything that's being offered,
visit the websitewwwrecoveryoursoulnet.
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
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