February 3, 2025 • 38 mins
Send one way text to Rev Rachel
Have you ever found yourself trying to convince someone to see things the way you do—only to feel frustrated, unheard, or misunderstood? In this episode of Recover Your Soul, we're exploring the power of letting go of the fight and stepping into inner peace when others see the same situation differently.
Soul Recovery teaches us that we are powerless over how others think, feel, and process their experiences. We don’t need to be validated by others to trust our own truth. When we release the need to be “on the same page,” we create space for healing, compassion, and self-acceptance. And just as we honor our own experience, we can extend that same compassion to others—allowing them to have their own truth, even when it differs from ours.
I’ll share personal experiences and Soul Recovery tools to help you:
- Stop seeking validation from th
Our next FREE Soul Recovery Support Group on Zoom with be Monday May 5th from 6-7PM. Open and welcoming to everyone in the Recover Your Soul Community. If you have registered in the past, be on the lookout for your reminder email on the 5th.
See you there!!! Rev Rachel
Join Rev. Rachel for a sacred Soul Recovery experience—
- Virtual One-Day Workshop on Zoom: May 31, 2025
- Two-Day Retreat in Lafayette, CO: July 19-20, 2025
- Two-Day Retreat in Asheville, NC: September 13-14, 2025
Step into healing and transformation in a loving, supportive community.
Learn more and register on the website- Use code SOUL40 for $40 off.
This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.
Rev. Rachel Harrison and Recover Your Soul www.recoveryoursoul.net
- FREE Support Group on Zoom 6-7PM MT on the 1st Monday of the Month.
- Work the Soul Recovery Process with Rev Rachel.
- Working the Steps courses.
- Instagram, Insight Timer, TikTok, YouTube and Facebook private Facebook group community.
- Listen to a BONUS episode each Friday as a Patreon Member or subscribing on Apple Podcasts.
- Use code TRYASESSION for 40% off your first Coaching session
Donations Transcripts <
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
And in many relationships there is so much
pain and difficulty in thisfight that we have to try to all
be on the same page to see thereal way that it felt or the
real way that it was.
Is it the way in which they seeit?
And actually, that when webegin to let go of the need to
(00:25):
all be on the same page, we canvalidate our own feelings.
We can stop needing otherpeople to see what we saw or
felt, what we felt, and we canbegin to have compassion that
they may have felt or seensomething that was different
than us.
We begin to allow each personto fully engage in their own
process of healing.
(00:45):
We let go of control.
We recognize we're powerlessover how they see it.
We step into our power bychoosing how we want to see it,
letting go of the pain memories,letting go of the pain stories
and allowing people to be intheir process wherever they may
be, turning the attention backto ourself and choosing our own
(01:09):
soul recovery as our focus.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
a happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life.
From my recovery of alcoholism,codependency and control
(01:31):
addiction, I was guided to sharethe tools and principles of
spirituality and soul recoveryto help others transform their
lives as mine was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
(01:53):
Welcome to Recover your Soul.
I'm Rev Rachel.
Thank you for being part ofthis amazing community, whether
you're new or whether you'vebeen here for a while.
This space that we are holdingtogether around learning how to
let go of what feels really outof control around us and to step
(02:13):
into our own empowerment, ourown healing, our own wellness,
to choose a spiritual path tolead a happy and healthy life.
This is where we're standingtogether Incredible sisterhood,
brotherhood of all of us holdingspace for each other and
knowing that there's nothingwrong with us, that we are whole
, that we are just rememberingand we're learning skills and
(02:36):
tools of how to process whatfeels really overwhelming and is
indeed complex out in the worldand in our own families and in
our own lives.
And I hope that I'm giving youtools through this podcast, the
nine step soul recovery processand through my experiences, to
give you the strength to just bewith what is and for us to stop
(02:59):
fighting it and to startactually being present in our
bodies and in our lives and inour minds in a spiritually fit,
emotional way that allows us tohandle what is indeed very
complex and strange out there.
Today's episode is aroundperception, and you've heard me
say over and over and over thatit is as we choose to see it and
(03:24):
when we become more aware ofhow empowering this statement is
, that if we choose to seeourselves as having terrible
lives and everything's awful, itis as you choose to see it.
That is what you areexperiencing and as we choose to
see it, that there's complexityand there's addiction and
there's dysfunction and there'sheartache, but that we are
(03:46):
strong and powerful and we havewhat we need to get through it.
It is as we choose to see it.
When we choose to see thepeople in our lives as sick and
broken they are, that to us andto, in reflection, back to us,
that's how they tend to feelabout themselves.
That's how they tend to feelabout themselves.
When we recognize the peoplearound us are whole but might be
(04:08):
going through difficult times,then we are seeing them as whole
going through a difficult time.
But today's episode is aroundthe very complex energies and
feelings and memories that weall have and this need and
desire that we have for us totry to be on the same page
(04:28):
around it.
And it's come up for me recentlyin a couple different
situations with Rich that Iwanted to talk about, because
again, it's this opportunity forme to use the soul recovery
process and tools of how to lookat.
How am I choosing to see it?
What are the beliefs andpatterns that show up for me by
my being triggered and activated?
(04:50):
Where can I switch?
How I take care of myself firstand foremost, so that I let go
of the woundedness, the blame,the battlefield, the emotional
battlefield?
Where am I stepping into mydefense mechanisms to try to
protect myself?
How can I see more clearly whatactually is happening here and
(05:15):
stop falling into oldcodependent behaviors and
patterns?
And what's happened in my lifeis that the more that I do this
work, the more compassion that Ihave for my own experience.
But in addition to that, I havea lot more compassion for where
everybody else is in theirexperience, and I continue to be
(05:39):
unlayering this part of me thatthinks that I'm supposed to fix
or I'm supposed to show or I'msupposed to give light onto
somebody else's situation in myfamily, about why they see it a
certain way or maybe they didn'tfeel it the way that it should
have been felt or if I can fixit, then they will feel better.
(05:59):
These tendencies for us to wantto save everybody around us are
so ingrained in us, and themore that we let go of judgment
and have self-compassion forourselves and how we got here,
the easier it is to release andlet go.
So I had a couple interactionswith Rich recently that really
(06:19):
brought this to light and Iwanted to share them with you
because it's giving me so muchmore information about me, which
is the only place I havecontrol anyway, which is what I
am choosing to see.
But what I'm recognizing thatI'm still uncovering is this
part of me that wants us to seeit the same, or that I want to
(06:43):
be validated for why I made thedecisions that I made or why I
felt the way that I felt.
And also, I still find it veryhard to be in the presence of
somebody who is still feelingtheir own raw, complex, unhealed
emotions, and how much I wantto jump in and make it be
(07:09):
different.
Two things happened recently,two conversations.
One was us having our morningcoffee, like we often do, where,
after I finished my prayer andmeditation time in between or
before somewhere in it, Irealized it's important for me
to be making conscious decisionto be in connection with Rich,
(07:32):
and I can get really caught upin wanting to make sure that I'm
having all of my spiritual timein the morning, but really
that's really when he's freshest, when he's in the most open
space, when the day hasn't takenhim over, and that's when some
of our most powerfulconversations happen.
So I try to make a concertedeffort to create that space for
(07:52):
us to connect at least a coupletimes a week.
So I can't remember how we gotto the part of the conversation,
but he's been sharing more andmore about what's happening
within him and how he'sprocessing and how he's seeing
things, and the more that I justam quiet and allow him to have
the space to share thoseemotions and feelings, the more
(08:16):
he's actually sharing with me.
And very mindful to button mylip and not try to coach, not
try to fix, not try to save.
I'm doing a much better job ofjust being a good listener and
(08:39):
then being aware of when thereis appropriate times to share
and not share.
Okay, so this was in a moment oflistening.
Moment of listening.
He was sharing very openly andvulnerably about how it felt for
him when I left around 11 yearsago and that that experience
continues to bubble up and havefear for him, and I was curious.
(09:01):
In that conversation I askedbecause of some of the other
things that he had said is therepain around the extenuating
circumstances and thedysfunction and the complexities
that were happening in ourfamily that gave me what I felt
like was no other choice toleave?
Or was it the actual action ofme leaving?
(09:21):
And his immediate response wasit was you leaving and the fact
that you have thought about orwanted to leave I don't even
know how many times since thenit's the fact that you would
leave me.
Now he's brought this up againand again and again and again.
So I think that you've heard,if you've been listening to the
podcast, that this is a reallypowerful, if you've been
(09:44):
listening to the podcast, thatthis is a really powerful,
painful place for him.
What I want to point out isthat when he is talking about
this.
In this situation, I wasincredibly aware of the fact
that he did not hear the partwhere I said I felt that I had
no other choice, based on whatwas happening in our family at
(10:05):
the time, other than to makethat decision, and so I could
recognize that I wasn't feelingheard in that moment and that my
general tendency would be totry to make him see where I'm
coming from.
Right, but what I could feelwas that this was an opportunity
for him to have some experienceof safety around him, really
(10:27):
just sharing with me somethingthat's really painful to him.
That was a wound that I haveparticipated in creating in his
world.
Now I did ask, when I askedthat question, about the leaving
or the dysfunction of our life.
At that time, he had a responsethat said I don't think it was
(10:51):
all that bad and I just thoughtthat we were going through hard
times and everybody makes itthrough hard times and you just
get past it.
It's the fact that you wouldleave me right.
The good news is in ourconversations and the brain that
I'm creating within myself, themechanisms in my neurons that
(11:14):
I'm retraining throughneuroplasticity, and the soul
recovery tools that I'm usingwas that I could feel the
importance of the brain notbattling and allowing him to see
it as it was for him, and inthat, what I am really hoping
that I'm giving you some exampleof it I'm going to give you
another one here in a second isthat I didn't dismiss how it
(11:36):
felt for me, as he is sharinghis side and his pain and what's
really going on for himUnderneath.
I'm attending to myself and Iknow that for me it was so
painful and so difficult and sotraumatic at the time and there
was so much going on that thatdecision that I made to leave
(11:59):
was the only and the rightdecision for me.
But I don't need to fight himabout what that is.
I don't need to fight with himabout who felt more pain or who
was wronged or who was right.
In soul recovery we're takingthe spiritual tools that say
there is no judgment, there isno right or wrong.
(12:20):
This isn't about somebodywinning and somebody losing.
This is about us each beingable to have our own experience.
Now, what I can tell you in myrelationship with my husband is
that there is more opening forme to be able to witness how he
felt and to give him space forthat.
(12:40):
It is not reciprocated in thesame level yet, and this is a
big piece of our journey that wecan only know for ourselves
what is right for us.
If I'm needing him toreciprocate for me and to say,
rachel, tell me more about howyou felt in that situation, then
(13:02):
I'm putting all of my power onhim again to give to me
something that I think I need orwant.
The validation that we can haveabout how we felt and how it
was for us is within ourselves.
No one can diminish how it feltfor us.
(13:24):
I don't have to fight for it.
It was right for me.
But what I saw in thissituation that I also really
want to share in this episode iswe all see it as we choose to
see it.
He sees it a very specific way.
That was his experience throughhis mind, through his past
(13:44):
experiences that he had in ourmarriage and growing up as a
child.
His defense mechanisms, hisview of the world is the only
way that he can see it, as I canonly see it through mine.
But the more that we'refighting against the other
person to show what it was forus, the less we're being present
(14:09):
for what it was for the otherperson, and the more we're
giving them the power tovalidate for us how it was for
us, we're leaving curiosity andgoing into control.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the website recover yoursoulnet to learn more about the
nine step soul recovery process.
(14:30):
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we've
learned more about soul recoveryand connect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the nine
step soul recovery process, I'mhere for you, but you can also
choose to work the steps on yourown, with individual modules
intended to support you to workat your own pace and on your own
(14:53):
time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find DailyInspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
(15:14):
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode.
Soul Recovery is all aboutcompassion, curiosity, grace,
forgiveness.
I don't have to push my agenda,and what's interesting is that,
(15:40):
as I do this work of notattaching and clinging to these
moments that we have, what Irecognize is I still have that
feeling underneath that I feelreally, really just like shooken
to the core about how muchdiscomfort I have around two
things.
One is me being able to have myown feelings.
(16:01):
That's one of the first andforemost ones.
That's one of the first andforemost ones.
I have an underneath beliefthat says what you need, what
you want, how you feel, is waymore important than what I need,
what I want, how I feel, andthat your needs, your wants,
your feelings come first.
I'm always last.
I'm going to give you what youneed.
If there's anything left, I'lltake it for myself.
That is a belief that I havebeen working on.
(16:23):
The other was that they can beuncomfortable and they can think
and feel what they need andthat, whatever their perception
is, I'm powerless over whatever.
That is.
Going back to step two and soulrecovery.
I'm powerless over how he seesit, how he felt about it.
I do not need to defend myself,and in that I actually could
(16:46):
feel the part of his soul thatcontinues to have fear that I
will leave.
Now I will tell you, as I havesaid in the past, I did not do
the thing that part of mycodependent people pleasing
nature wants to do and mycodependent people-pleasing
(17:08):
nature wants to do, which is tosay, honey, that happened in the
past.
I'm never going to leave.
I hope that you feel a solidityof our relationship right now
and all is well.
I didn't say any of thosethings because this feeling that
he is going through, thisexperience he is going through,
is his to work out for himself.
I validated his feelings.
I said I can totally see howpainful that was for you and I
(17:32):
didn't jump into defending andit passed.
I can't promise him that I willnever leave.
I will not promise him that Iwill never leave because I am
choosing to be in thisrelationship today, and today is
the only day that there is.
Do I want to be in here longterm?
(17:54):
Absolutely, but I will continueto choose myself and I do not
need to defend how I feel.
But I also do not need to makehim see where I'm coming from,
because then I'm battling, thenwe're in attack and this part of
defensiveness that you can onlyattack back and forth.
(18:14):
There's no other option.
Someone has to drop the attack.
The other situation actuallyjust happened and if you've
listened to the podcast before,you know the story that when I
was pregnant with Bodie, who isnow 26 years old and in very
rough conditions, it was a veryintense part of our life.
(18:50):
I was home by myself with thekids for about three years,
except for him coming home onthe weekends.
He would come home in thesummer and work for a month or
two where he could make a littlebit more money in his building
career locally.
It was a very intense time.
It has a lot of energy aroundit and a lot of work has been
done to allow that to just floataway.
(19:13):
You know that I've workedreally hard on my emotions
around it.
I've spent time processing whatis healthy for me to process
and Rich and my mom have beenreestablishing their
relationship because at the endof the project, after he had
dedicated three years of hislife, my stepdad, who had been
(19:35):
having some memory issues hisAlzheimer's hit like a rock.
And right at the end of thisproject, which is supposed to be
the beginning of a largerproject.
This was supposed to be thelittle house and then there was
going to be a big house ended upcosting a lot more money than
it was supposed to for a varietyof reasons.
But there was this dinner thatended up with this huge blow up
(19:59):
where my mom screamed at Richand said that he had failed.
And it was one of thoseruptures that can happen in a
family.
We've all had them.
We've all had those momentswhere the levy just breaks and
it's not actually about what thefight is about.
(20:20):
This is the hardest thingsometimes, about how our minds
work, which is the Course inMiracles says.
We're rarely upset for thereason we think that this
particular fight where my momscreamed to him you failed
wasn't about that.
But he created a whole level ofstory around what she was
saying that had to do with allof his expectations and his
(20:44):
wounds and his needs and andwhat was going on for him.
And my mom was actually inresponse to the fact that there
was a bunch of financialhardship that was happening at
that moment and that her husbandwho she had thought was going
to be her rock that she wasgoing to have for the rest of
her life, it turns out is verysick and the whole thing felt
overwhelming and there's thishuge rupture.
No one is saying what theyreally are truly thinking in
(21:07):
their heart, it's just all egoand fear and it creates this
huge rupture.
And it was a big, big deal.
It was a huge deal and so muchcomplexity happened out of this
particular situation.
What's fascinating about thissituation was it actually wasn't
(21:29):
me, that was in the argument.
I participated in watching it,but no one was at me.
But I've held space aroundthese two people that are my two
main people my mother and myhusband and how they felt and
each of their stories and thatpart of me that is the mediator,
(21:51):
the peacemaker between the twoand that I could see all of the
sides and I've had to dancearound each of their pain and
their woundedness for 25 years.
And they've been working it outever since my mom's house
burned down.
There has been a connectionbetween the two of them and
they've done projects togetherand they've made amends right.
(22:14):
So I feel, like this very sticky, hard, complex experiences and
past memories that the energyhad dissipated from it, the rock
if you've heard me talk aboutthe rocks that we carry, the
responsibilities, the pains therock had been set down and I
(22:38):
haven't thought about it inforever, right?
So for some reason, rich picksup the rock and this
conversation conversation comesup and he is activated
immediately and he's talkingabout how my mom said you know
(23:01):
the fight and how my mom saidthat he had failed.
And all of a sudden, this rockthat had been put down for so
long was huge.
And all of a sudden, this rockthat had been put down for so
long was huge and I watchedmyself that I wanted to pick it
up, that I wanted to pick it upbecause there's so much pain in
it and it reminded me of thisconversation that I wanted to
(23:22):
have with you around.
It is as we choose to see it,and this part of me that wanted
to get involved in how he ischoosing to see it, and the part
of me that wants to say to himRich, this is over and this was
about other things.
And I started.
I actually started.
I said I watched myself do thething.
Where you want to, you want togive them that perspective, you
(23:46):
want to give them theinformation that this was such a
big explosion that was about somuch more.
But he didn't want that andimmediately I was so grateful
that I'm using the tools of soulrecovery just to be like not my
rock, not my rock If he needsto pick up this rock and he
(24:09):
needs to hold it and he needs tocarry it.
This is not mine, but I felt somuch energy around this
activation of something that hadbeen such a big deal in our
life.
I mean, if you listen to thepodcast from before that really
talk about the cabin and it wasa really complex part of the
(24:29):
story.
I went, I did what I teach youto do.
I took a beat, I paused.
I didn't try to fix it for him,I just noticed the space.
I validated that this is a bigdeal to him and the good news is
(24:52):
that, because our lives are theway that they are, there wasn't
time to talk about it.
It really needed to just be letgo, which, luckily, spirit gave
us the time to do that.
And then I went and journaled onmy own about how much I want to
fix his discomfort.
I want to fix his discomfort.
I don't want him to still behurting from this.
I want him to see my mom'sperspective and how much more
(25:17):
was going on for her that didn'thave anything to do with this
and that sometimes we just blowup and we say things that nobody
means in those moments.
But we choose whether we'regoing to hold on and attach to
that.
We could choose how we're goingto see it and in that writing I
had the clarity that was I getto choose how I'm going to see
(25:38):
this.
I am going to choose.
It's the only power that I have.
I am going to choose how I amgoing to see this and I'm going
to see this as anotheropportunity for healing for my
husband, if he so chooses to dosomething with that rock.
I'm powerless over what hethinks.
I'm powerless over how he stillis replaying this story.
(26:00):
I'm powerless over the healingthat he's doing for himself.
I'm powerless over how he seesit, and we do not have to see it
the same.
We do not have to see it thesame, and we do not have to see
it the same.
We do not have to see it thesame.
I can let go of this need andwant for us to all be on the
same page and see it from thesame perspective.
There were many people in thatsituation.
(26:20):
Everyone has their ownexperience of what it was for
them and my only responsibilityis for me to attend to how it
was for me and it was reallyhard for me at the time.
But I've done the work onmyself to be able to release
that and I do not have to makeus all get along.
(26:46):
This is one of my my characterdefects.
One of my beliefs is like it'smy job to make sure we all get
along.
Man, if Rich wants to pick thisup again, that is his.
Clearly there is more work forhim to do.
It will show him something ifhe is willing to see it.
I'm going to see it for me andwhat I see is this really
(27:11):
intense part of me that, whetherhe's saying the pain that I
felt from you leaving me, thepain that I felt from your
mother saying that I failed insome way, those are real pains.
Can I have enough compassion toallow him to really feel those
(27:31):
feelings?
And then, with compassion, itmeans you hand it to them and
you say I see you, I recognizethat this is a big emotion, that
these are big things for you,and I hand them back to you for
you to take care of as you sochoose.
I am actually going to lookfrom my perspective and I'm
going to allow it to all holdspace.
(27:53):
It can all be true at the sametime.
It was hard for me too, in myown ways, and again I come back
to that truth, which is thatoftentimes those people in our
lives that we love so much, wewant to process all these things
(28:13):
that we're feeling and thinkingand that are transforming for
us, and the healing that'shappening.
We want to have theseconversations with them, but
more than often they're toowrapped up and it's too close,
it's too entwined, it's tooenmeshed for them to be able to
(28:34):
step back and to have thedistance to see how it was for
everybody else.
What I'm really praying andhoping is that Rich can have
enough space to have compassionand see it from other people's
perceptions, but that may or maynot happen in the way that I
would like for it to be.
(28:54):
It will happen in the way thatit happens for him, and the more
that I actually back off, themore I'm giving him the
responsibility to make thatchoice for himself in his own
way.
As soon as I let this go, assoon as I realized that both of
those rocks were his rocks, thefreedom that I felt, and then I
(29:17):
do this work, to choose how I'mgoing to see it, to not see him
as what my brain wants, to twistaround to see the faults and
the reasons why he can't.
That is me choosing to see himin a certain way.
It doesn't mean that I diminishhow I feel or I dismiss that
(29:41):
there are some very factual waysthat we see the world that are
very different.
But are they deal breakers?
Are they hills to stand on?
Are they battles that I'm goingto wage?
No, and the fascinating thing Iknow I use the word fascinating
a lot, but it really isfascinating to me is that
(30:04):
generally, when we just letthese things blow through, they
just kind of blow through.
Let these things blow through,they just kind of blow through,
we're the ones that gather themup and say don't forget about
that rock.
The truth is, he may pick upthat rock and hold it for a
minute and then I don't knowthat he's set it down, because
the likelihood is that he's notgoing to share that kind of
(30:24):
thing with me anyway.
But it is very likely that hehas these big emotions and that
then it just turns intosomething else.
He moves somewhere else, themore that I think my job is to
point out and fix and change themore that I'm getting lost on a
(30:45):
road that isn't mine to walk.
In the first place, I need tolet him have his own experience
and I need to be okay that howwe each experienced it, how we
each see it, how we feel aboutit, will always be different
than how it is for the otherperson, and that there's space
(31:06):
for all of it.
There's space for all of it,and I had more ability, if we're
talking about the cabin, moreability to actually see the
cabin, not just from the partthat I held onto for so long
that it was such a terribleexperience.
I was alone.
Rich was an alcoholic, you know.
(31:28):
It was so many complex emotionsand interactions.
I actually now see it for thecreative energy, for the wild
experience it was for him, forthe beauty of what was created,
for how much opportunity that hehad to envision and create
(31:49):
something along with my mom.
I want him actually to rememberhow much good there was in it
for him, and I think mostly hedoes too right, because when
we're in pain we tend to pick upthe pain rock and look at it
from that perception, but we canlet those blow ups that
happened in that one moment andthat are happening in the moment
(32:09):
when we're activated.
We can just let them ride.
You don't have to attach, youdon't have to figure it all out,
you don't have to understandevery little thing.
Attend to yourself, ask yourselfquestions.
What do I need?
Where can I let this go?
What is mine here?
How do I feel about it?
What can I see about myself andhow I'm choosing to see it?
(32:33):
Can I see compassion and lovefor everybody involved?
Can I take off all the judgment, good and bad, and open to a
power greater than myself thatis providing light, providing an
ability to be present with thecomplex nature of us as human
(32:53):
beings, that all of thesememories, no matter how sticky
and complex the emotions are,that are stored in the past.
I get to choose if I'm going toengage in that and if somebody
else is engaging in it, I get tochoose to not engage and I can
let them feel, however they feltabout it, that that isn't an
(33:16):
either or a win or a lose.
It is an and and and openaccept.
So I feel so much more reliefthan I did in that moment when
he picked up that rock andstarted talking about it, and
(33:36):
I'm so grateful for that,because that's what soul
recovery offers us.
Is that?
It's not that life isn't goingto show up.
It's not that we're not goingto have those moments.
It's not that we're not goingto get activated.
It's that we have tools now tobe able to handle it in a
different way and to allow themto handle it in the way that
they so choose.
You're here for soul recovery.
You're learning this technology, you're learning this language,
(33:59):
you're learning these spiritualpractices, along with whatever
else.
You're gathering up becauseyour spirit is talking to you
uniquely you to heal you.
You don't heal you.
Source love.
Higher power washes through youand together, together, there
(34:21):
is a healing, you know.
I say together we can do thework that will recover your soul
.
Together is us as a community.
The together is you and me.
The together is us and spiritand source.
We are never alone and all ofthese experiences that we have
(34:42):
are so important, but we canstop being in suffering and
attaching to the pain storiesthat we've told ourselves about
everything and be open tocuriosity, releasing the need to
control, admitting we'repowerless over how anyone else
experienced it, letting go ofthe need to be validated by
(35:04):
anyone else for how it was forus and choosing to see it from
love and light.
Okay, until next time.
Namaste, thank you forlistening and I hope that that
helps support your soul recoveryprocess.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the Recover your Soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
(35:27):
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
(35:49):
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
And in many relationships there is so much
pain and difficulty in thisfight that we have to try to all
be on the same page to see thereal way that it felt or the
real way that it was.
Is it the way in which they seeit?
And actually, that when webegin to let go of the need to
(00:25):
all be on the same page, we canvalidate our own feelings.
We can stop needing otherpeople to see what we saw or
felt, what we felt, and we canbegin to have compassion that
they may have felt or seensomething that was different
than us.
We begin to allow each personto fully engage in their own
process of healing.
(00:45):
We let go of control.
We recognize we're powerlessover how they see it.
We step into our power bychoosing how we want to see it,
letting go of the pain memories,letting go of the pain stories
and allowing people to be intheir process wherever they may
be, turning the attention backto ourself and choosing our own
(01:09):
soul recovery as our focus.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
a happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life.
From my recovery of alcoholism,codependency and control
(01:31):
addiction, I was guided to sharethe tools and principles of
spirituality and soul recoveryto help others transform their
lives as mine was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
(01:53):
Welcome to Recover your Soul.
I'm Rev Rachel.
Thank you for being part ofthis amazing community, whether
you're new or whether you'vebeen here for a while.
This space that we are holdingtogether around learning how to
let go of what feels really outof control around us and to step
(02:13):
into our own empowerment, ourown healing, our own wellness,
to choose a spiritual path tolead a happy and healthy life.
This is where we're standingtogether Incredible sisterhood,
brotherhood of all of us holdingspace for each other and
knowing that there's nothingwrong with us, that we are whole
, that we are just rememberingand we're learning skills and
(02:36):
tools of how to process whatfeels really overwhelming and is
indeed complex out in the worldand in our own families and in
our own lives.
And I hope that I'm giving youtools through this podcast, the
nine step soul recovery processand through my experiences, to
give you the strength to just bewith what is and for us to stop
(02:59):
fighting it and to startactually being present in our
bodies and in our lives and inour minds in a spiritually fit,
emotional way that allows us tohandle what is indeed very
complex and strange out there.
Today's episode is aroundperception, and you've heard me
say over and over and over thatit is as we choose to see it and
(03:24):
when we become more aware ofhow empowering this statement is
, that if we choose to seeourselves as having terrible
lives and everything's awful, itis as you choose to see it.
That is what you areexperiencing and as we choose to
see it, that there's complexityand there's addiction and
there's dysfunction and there'sheartache, but that we are
(03:46):
strong and powerful and we havewhat we need to get through it.
It is as we choose to see it.
When we choose to see thepeople in our lives as sick and
broken they are, that to us andto, in reflection, back to us,
that's how they tend to feelabout themselves.
That's how they tend to feelabout themselves.
When we recognize the peoplearound us are whole but might be
(04:08):
going through difficult times,then we are seeing them as whole
going through a difficult time.
But today's episode is aroundthe very complex energies and
feelings and memories that weall have and this need and
desire that we have for us totry to be on the same page
(04:28):
around it.
And it's come up for me recentlyin a couple different
situations with Rich that Iwanted to talk about, because
again, it's this opportunity forme to use the soul recovery
process and tools of how to lookat.
How am I choosing to see it?
What are the beliefs andpatterns that show up for me by
my being triggered and activated?
(04:50):
Where can I switch?
How I take care of myself firstand foremost, so that I let go
of the woundedness, the blame,the battlefield, the emotional
battlefield?
Where am I stepping into mydefense mechanisms to try to
protect myself?
How can I see more clearly whatactually is happening here and
(05:15):
stop falling into oldcodependent behaviors and
patterns?
And what's happened in my lifeis that the more that I do this
work, the more compassion that Ihave for my own experience.
But in addition to that, I havea lot more compassion for where
everybody else is in theirexperience, and I continue to be
(05:39):
unlayering this part of me thatthinks that I'm supposed to fix
or I'm supposed to show or I'msupposed to give light onto
somebody else's situation in myfamily, about why they see it a
certain way or maybe they didn'tfeel it the way that it should
have been felt or if I can fixit, then they will feel better.
(05:59):
These tendencies for us to wantto save everybody around us are
so ingrained in us, and themore that we let go of judgment
and have self-compassion forourselves and how we got here,
the easier it is to release andlet go.
So I had a couple interactionswith Rich recently that really
(06:19):
brought this to light and Iwanted to share them with you
because it's giving me so muchmore information about me, which
is the only place I havecontrol anyway, which is what I
am choosing to see.
But what I'm recognizing thatI'm still uncovering is this
part of me that wants us to seeit the same, or that I want to
(06:43):
be validated for why I made thedecisions that I made or why I
felt the way that I felt.
And also, I still find it veryhard to be in the presence of
somebody who is still feelingtheir own raw, complex, unhealed
emotions, and how much I wantto jump in and make it be
(07:09):
different.
Two things happened recently,two conversations.
One was us having our morningcoffee, like we often do, where,
after I finished my prayer andmeditation time in between or
before somewhere in it, Irealized it's important for me
to be making conscious decisionto be in connection with Rich,
(07:32):
and I can get really caught upin wanting to make sure that I'm
having all of my spiritual timein the morning, but really
that's really when he's freshest, when he's in the most open
space, when the day hasn't takenhim over, and that's when some
of our most powerfulconversations happen.
So I try to make a concertedeffort to create that space for
(07:52):
us to connect at least a coupletimes a week.
So I can't remember how we gotto the part of the conversation,
but he's been sharing more andmore about what's happening
within him and how he'sprocessing and how he's seeing
things, and the more that I justam quiet and allow him to have
the space to share thoseemotions and feelings, the more
(08:16):
he's actually sharing with me.
And very mindful to button mylip and not try to coach, not
try to fix, not try to save.
I'm doing a much better job ofjust being a good listener and
(08:39):
then being aware of when thereis appropriate times to share
and not share.
Okay, so this was in a moment oflistening.
Moment of listening.
He was sharing very openly andvulnerably about how it felt for
him when I left around 11 yearsago and that that experience
continues to bubble up and havefear for him, and I was curious.
(09:01):
In that conversation I askedbecause of some of the other
things that he had said is therepain around the extenuating
circumstances and thedysfunction and the complexities
that were happening in ourfamily that gave me what I felt
like was no other choice toleave?
Or was it the actual action ofme leaving?
(09:21):
And his immediate response wasit was you leaving and the fact
that you have thought about orwanted to leave I don't even
know how many times since thenit's the fact that you would
leave me.
Now he's brought this up againand again and again and again.
So I think that you've heard,if you've been listening to the
podcast, that this is a reallypowerful, if you've been
(09:44):
listening to the podcast, thatthis is a really powerful,
painful place for him.
What I want to point out isthat when he is talking about
this.
In this situation, I wasincredibly aware of the fact
that he did not hear the partwhere I said I felt that I had
no other choice, based on whatwas happening in our family at
(10:05):
the time, other than to makethat decision, and so I could
recognize that I wasn't feelingheard in that moment and that my
general tendency would be totry to make him see where I'm
coming from.
Right, but what I could feelwas that this was an opportunity
for him to have some experienceof safety around him, really
(10:27):
just sharing with me somethingthat's really painful to him.
That was a wound that I haveparticipated in creating in his
world.
Now I did ask, when I askedthat question, about the leaving
or the dysfunction of our life.
At that time, he had a responsethat said I don't think it was
(10:51):
all that bad and I just thoughtthat we were going through hard
times and everybody makes itthrough hard times and you just
get past it.
It's the fact that you wouldleave me right.
The good news is in ourconversations and the brain that
I'm creating within myself, themechanisms in my neurons that
(11:14):
I'm retraining throughneuroplasticity, and the soul
recovery tools that I'm usingwas that I could feel the
importance of the brain notbattling and allowing him to see
it as it was for him, and inthat, what I am really hoping
that I'm giving you some exampleof it I'm going to give you
another one here in a second isthat I didn't dismiss how it
(11:36):
felt for me, as he is sharinghis side and his pain and what's
really going on for himUnderneath.
I'm attending to myself and Iknow that for me it was so
painful and so difficult and sotraumatic at the time and there
was so much going on that thatdecision that I made to leave
(11:59):
was the only and the rightdecision for me.
But I don't need to fight himabout what that is.
I don't need to fight with himabout who felt more pain or who
was wronged or who was right.
In soul recovery we're takingthe spiritual tools that say
there is no judgment, there isno right or wrong.
(12:20):
This isn't about somebodywinning and somebody losing.
This is about us each beingable to have our own experience.
Now, what I can tell you in myrelationship with my husband is
that there is more opening forme to be able to witness how he
felt and to give him space forthat.
(12:40):
It is not reciprocated in thesame level yet, and this is a
big piece of our journey that wecan only know for ourselves
what is right for us.
If I'm needing him toreciprocate for me and to say,
rachel, tell me more about howyou felt in that situation, then
(13:02):
I'm putting all of my power onhim again to give to me
something that I think I need orwant.
The validation that we can haveabout how we felt and how it
was for us is within ourselves.
No one can diminish how it feltfor us.
(13:24):
I don't have to fight for it.
It was right for me.
But what I saw in thissituation that I also really
want to share in this episode iswe all see it as we choose to
see it.
He sees it a very specific way.
That was his experience throughhis mind, through his past
(13:44):
experiences that he had in ourmarriage and growing up as a
child.
His defense mechanisms, hisview of the world is the only
way that he can see it, as I canonly see it through mine.
But the more that we'refighting against the other
person to show what it was forus, the less we're being present
(14:09):
for what it was for the otherperson, and the more we're
giving them the power tovalidate for us how it was for
us, we're leaving curiosity andgoing into control.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the website recover yoursoulnet to learn more about the
nine step soul recovery process.
(14:30):
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we've
learned more about soul recoveryand connect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the nine
step soul recovery process, I'mhere for you, but you can also
choose to work the steps on yourown, with individual modules
intended to support you to workat your own pace and on your own
(14:53):
time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find DailyInspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
(15:14):
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode.
Soul Recovery is all aboutcompassion, curiosity, grace,
forgiveness.
I don't have to push my agenda,and what's interesting is that,
(15:40):
as I do this work of notattaching and clinging to these
moments that we have, what Irecognize is I still have that
feeling underneath that I feelreally, really just like shooken
to the core about how muchdiscomfort I have around two
things.
One is me being able to have myown feelings.
(16:01):
That's one of the first andforemost ones.
That's one of the first andforemost ones.
I have an underneath beliefthat says what you need, what
you want, how you feel, is waymore important than what I need,
what I want, how I feel, andthat your needs, your wants,
your feelings come first.
I'm always last.
I'm going to give you what youneed.
If there's anything left, I'lltake it for myself.
That is a belief that I havebeen working on.
(16:23):
The other was that they can beuncomfortable and they can think
and feel what they need andthat, whatever their perception
is, I'm powerless over whatever.
That is.
Going back to step two and soulrecovery.
I'm powerless over how he seesit, how he felt about it.
I do not need to defend myself,and in that I actually could
(16:46):
feel the part of his soul thatcontinues to have fear that I
will leave.
Now I will tell you, as I havesaid in the past, I did not do
the thing that part of mycodependent people pleasing
nature wants to do and mycodependent people-pleasing
(17:08):
nature wants to do, which is tosay, honey, that happened in the
past.
I'm never going to leave.
I hope that you feel a solidityof our relationship right now
and all is well.
I didn't say any of thosethings because this feeling that
he is going through, thisexperience he is going through,
is his to work out for himself.
I validated his feelings.
I said I can totally see howpainful that was for you and I
(17:32):
didn't jump into defending andit passed.
I can't promise him that I willnever leave.
I will not promise him that Iwill never leave because I am
choosing to be in thisrelationship today, and today is
the only day that there is.
Do I want to be in here longterm?
(17:54):
Absolutely, but I will continueto choose myself and I do not
need to defend how I feel.
But I also do not need to makehim see where I'm coming from,
because then I'm battling, thenwe're in attack and this part of
defensiveness that you can onlyattack back and forth.
(18:14):
There's no other option.
Someone has to drop the attack.
The other situation actuallyjust happened and if you've
listened to the podcast before,you know the story that when I
was pregnant with Bodie, who isnow 26 years old and in very
rough conditions, it was a veryintense part of our life.
(18:50):
I was home by myself with thekids for about three years,
except for him coming home onthe weekends.
He would come home in thesummer and work for a month or
two where he could make a littlebit more money in his building
career locally.
It was a very intense time.
It has a lot of energy aroundit and a lot of work has been
done to allow that to just floataway.
(19:13):
You know that I've workedreally hard on my emotions
around it.
I've spent time processing whatis healthy for me to process
and Rich and my mom have beenreestablishing their
relationship because at the endof the project, after he had
dedicated three years of hislife, my stepdad, who had been
(19:35):
having some memory issues hisAlzheimer's hit like a rock.
And right at the end of thisproject, which is supposed to be
the beginning of a largerproject.
This was supposed to be thelittle house and then there was
going to be a big house ended upcosting a lot more money than
it was supposed to for a varietyof reasons.
But there was this dinner thatended up with this huge blow up
(19:59):
where my mom screamed at Richand said that he had failed.
And it was one of thoseruptures that can happen in a
family.
We've all had them.
We've all had those momentswhere the levy just breaks and
it's not actually about what thefight is about.
(20:20):
This is the hardest thingsometimes, about how our minds
work, which is the Course inMiracles says.
We're rarely upset for thereason we think that this
particular fight where my momscreamed to him you failed
wasn't about that.
But he created a whole level ofstory around what she was
saying that had to do with allof his expectations and his
(20:44):
wounds and his needs and andwhat was going on for him.
And my mom was actually inresponse to the fact that there
was a bunch of financialhardship that was happening at
that moment and that her husbandwho she had thought was going
to be her rock that she wasgoing to have for the rest of
her life, it turns out is verysick and the whole thing felt
overwhelming and there's thishuge rupture.
No one is saying what theyreally are truly thinking in
(21:07):
their heart, it's just all egoand fear and it creates this
huge rupture.
And it was a big, big deal.
It was a huge deal and so muchcomplexity happened out of this
particular situation.
What's fascinating about thissituation was it actually wasn't
(21:29):
me, that was in the argument.
I participated in watching it,but no one was at me.
But I've held space aroundthese two people that are my two
main people my mother and myhusband and how they felt and
each of their stories and thatpart of me that is the mediator,
(21:51):
the peacemaker between the twoand that I could see all of the
sides and I've had to dancearound each of their pain and
their woundedness for 25 years.
And they've been working it outever since my mom's house
burned down.
There has been a connectionbetween the two of them and
they've done projects togetherand they've made amends right.
(22:14):
So I feel, like this very sticky, hard, complex experiences and
past memories that the energyhad dissipated from it, the rock
if you've heard me talk aboutthe rocks that we carry, the
responsibilities, the pains therock had been set down and I
(22:38):
haven't thought about it inforever, right?
So for some reason, rich picksup the rock and this
conversation conversation comesup and he is activated
immediately and he's talkingabout how my mom said you know
(23:01):
the fight and how my mom saidthat he had failed.
And all of a sudden, this rockthat had been put down for so
long was huge.
And all of a sudden, this rockthat had been put down for so
long was huge and I watchedmyself that I wanted to pick it
up, that I wanted to pick it upbecause there's so much pain in
it and it reminded me of thisconversation that I wanted to
(23:22):
have with you around.
It is as we choose to see it,and this part of me that wanted
to get involved in how he ischoosing to see it, and the part
of me that wants to say to himRich, this is over and this was
about other things.
And I started.
I actually started.
I said I watched myself do thething.
Where you want to, you want togive them that perspective, you
(23:46):
want to give them theinformation that this was such a
big explosion that was about somuch more.
But he didn't want that andimmediately I was so grateful
that I'm using the tools of soulrecovery just to be like not my
rock, not my rock If he needsto pick up this rock and he
(24:09):
needs to hold it and he needs tocarry it.
This is not mine, but I felt somuch energy around this
activation of something that hadbeen such a big deal in our
life.
I mean, if you listen to thepodcast from before that really
talk about the cabin and it wasa really complex part of the
(24:29):
story.
I went, I did what I teach youto do.
I took a beat, I paused.
I didn't try to fix it for him,I just noticed the space.
I validated that this is a bigdeal to him and the good news is
(24:52):
that, because our lives are theway that they are, there wasn't
time to talk about it.
It really needed to just be letgo, which, luckily, spirit gave
us the time to do that.
And then I went and journaled onmy own about how much I want to
fix his discomfort.
I want to fix his discomfort.
I don't want him to still behurting from this.
I want him to see my mom'sperspective and how much more
(25:17):
was going on for her that didn'thave anything to do with this
and that sometimes we just blowup and we say things that nobody
means in those moments.
But we choose whether we'regoing to hold on and attach to
that.
We could choose how we're goingto see it and in that writing I
had the clarity that was I getto choose how I'm going to see
(25:38):
this.
I am going to choose.
It's the only power that I have.
I am going to choose how I amgoing to see this and I'm going
to see this as anotheropportunity for healing for my
husband, if he so chooses to dosomething with that rock.
I'm powerless over what hethinks.
I'm powerless over how he stillis replaying this story.
(26:00):
I'm powerless over the healingthat he's doing for himself.
I'm powerless over how he seesit, and we do not have to see it
the same.
We do not have to see it thesame, and we do not have to see
it the same.
We do not have to see it thesame.
I can let go of this need andwant for us to all be on the
same page and see it from thesame perspective.
There were many people in thatsituation.
(26:20):
Everyone has their ownexperience of what it was for
them and my only responsibilityis for me to attend to how it
was for me and it was reallyhard for me at the time.
But I've done the work onmyself to be able to release
that and I do not have to makeus all get along.
(26:46):
This is one of my my characterdefects.
One of my beliefs is like it'smy job to make sure we all get
along.
Man, if Rich wants to pick thisup again, that is his.
Clearly there is more work forhim to do.
It will show him something ifhe is willing to see it.
I'm going to see it for me andwhat I see is this really
(27:11):
intense part of me that, whetherhe's saying the pain that I
felt from you leaving me, thepain that I felt from your
mother saying that I failed insome way, those are real pains.
Can I have enough compassion toallow him to really feel those
(27:31):
feelings?
And then, with compassion, itmeans you hand it to them and
you say I see you, I recognizethat this is a big emotion, that
these are big things for you,and I hand them back to you for
you to take care of as you sochoose.
I am actually going to lookfrom my perspective and I'm
going to allow it to all holdspace.
(27:53):
It can all be true at the sametime.
It was hard for me too, in myown ways, and again I come back
to that truth, which is thatoftentimes those people in our
lives that we love so much, wewant to process all these things
(28:13):
that we're feeling and thinkingand that are transforming for
us, and the healing that'shappening.
We want to have theseconversations with them, but
more than often they're toowrapped up and it's too close,
it's too entwined, it's tooenmeshed for them to be able to
(28:34):
step back and to have thedistance to see how it was for
everybody else.
What I'm really praying andhoping is that Rich can have
enough space to have compassionand see it from other people's
perceptions, but that may or maynot happen in the way that I
would like for it to be.
(28:54):
It will happen in the way thatit happens for him, and the more
that I actually back off, themore I'm giving him the
responsibility to make thatchoice for himself in his own
way.
As soon as I let this go, assoon as I realized that both of
those rocks were his rocks, thefreedom that I felt, and then I
(29:17):
do this work, to choose how I'mgoing to see it, to not see him
as what my brain wants, to twistaround to see the faults and
the reasons why he can't.
That is me choosing to see himin a certain way.
It doesn't mean that I diminishhow I feel or I dismiss that
(29:41):
there are some very factual waysthat we see the world that are
very different.
But are they deal breakers?
Are they hills to stand on?
Are they battles that I'm goingto wage?
No, and the fascinating thing Iknow I use the word fascinating
a lot, but it really isfascinating to me is that
(30:04):
generally, when we just letthese things blow through, they
just kind of blow through.
Let these things blow through,they just kind of blow through,
we're the ones that gather themup and say don't forget about
that rock.
The truth is, he may pick upthat rock and hold it for a
minute and then I don't knowthat he's set it down, because
the likelihood is that he's notgoing to share that kind of
(30:24):
thing with me anyway.
But it is very likely that hehas these big emotions and that
then it just turns intosomething else.
He moves somewhere else, themore that I think my job is to
point out and fix and change themore that I'm getting lost on a
(30:45):
road that isn't mine to walk.
In the first place, I need tolet him have his own experience
and I need to be okay that howwe each experienced it, how we
each see it, how we feel aboutit, will always be different
than how it is for the otherperson, and that there's space
(31:06):
for all of it.
There's space for all of it,and I had more ability, if we're
talking about the cabin, moreability to actually see the
cabin, not just from the partthat I held onto for so long
that it was such a terribleexperience.
I was alone.
Rich was an alcoholic, you know.
(31:28):
It was so many complex emotionsand interactions.
I actually now see it for thecreative energy, for the wild
experience it was for him, forthe beauty of what was created,
for how much opportunity that hehad to envision and create
(31:49):
something along with my mom.
I want him actually to rememberhow much good there was in it
for him, and I think mostly hedoes too right, because when
we're in pain we tend to pick upthe pain rock and look at it
from that perception, but we canlet those blow ups that
happened in that one moment andthat are happening in the moment
(32:09):
when we're activated.
We can just let them ride.
You don't have to attach, youdon't have to figure it all out,
you don't have to understandevery little thing.
Attend to yourself, ask yourselfquestions.
What do I need?
Where can I let this go?
What is mine here?
How do I feel about it?
What can I see about myself andhow I'm choosing to see it?
(32:33):
Can I see compassion and lovefor everybody involved?
Can I take off all the judgment, good and bad, and open to a
power greater than myself thatis providing light, providing an
ability to be present with thecomplex nature of us as human
(32:53):
beings, that all of thesememories, no matter how sticky
and complex the emotions are,that are stored in the past.
I get to choose if I'm going toengage in that and if somebody
else is engaging in it, I get tochoose to not engage and I can
let them feel, however they feltabout it, that that isn't an
(33:16):
either or a win or a lose.
It is an and and and openaccept.
So I feel so much more reliefthan I did in that moment when
he picked up that rock andstarted talking about it, and
(33:36):
I'm so grateful for that,because that's what soul
recovery offers us.
Is that?
It's not that life isn't goingto show up.
It's not that we're not goingto have those moments.
It's not that we're not goingto get activated.
It's that we have tools now tobe able to handle it in a
different way and to allow themto handle it in the way that
they so choose.
You're here for soul recovery.
You're learning this technology, you're learning this language,
(33:59):
you're learning these spiritualpractices, along with whatever
else.
You're gathering up becauseyour spirit is talking to you
uniquely you to heal you.
You don't heal you.
Source love.
Higher power washes through youand together, together, there
(34:21):
is a healing, you know.
I say together we can do thework that will recover your soul
.
Together is us as a community.
The together is you and me.
The together is us and spiritand source.
We are never alone and all ofthese experiences that we have
(34:42):
are so important, but we canstop being in suffering and
attaching to the pain storiesthat we've told ourselves about
everything and be open tocuriosity, releasing the need to
control, admitting we'repowerless over how anyone else
experienced it, letting go ofthe need to be validated by
(35:04):
anyone else for how it was forus and choosing to see it from
love and light.
Okay, until next time.
Namaste, thank you forlistening and I hope that that
helps support your soul recoveryprocess.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the Recover your Soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
(35:27):
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
(35:49):
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!