December 30, 2024 • 31 mins
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As we stand at the threshold of a new year, this final episode of from this season and year invites you to release what no longer serves you. We explore how our subconscious stories and defense mechanisms shape our lives and hold us back.
- Step 5 of the Soul Recovery Process—'Release What No Longer Serves You -Cultivate Awareness and Insight: Use your growing awareness to gain insights into your old patterns and beliefs, and what you have learned from them.
- Practice Compassion and Forgiveness: Release these patterns through awareness, compassion and forgiveness, both towards yourself and others.'
It’s the perfect time to reflect: What beliefs, patterns, and stories are you carrying that no longer align with who you tru
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See you there!!! Rev Rachel
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
Today's episode is focused on step five
of the soul recovery process.
It's releasing old patterns andstories that no longer serve
you.
We can be so impacted with allof the subconscious stories and
beliefs that are in our mindsand through the soul recovery
process we've been learningabout them and by the time we
(00:20):
get to step five we are sayingwe are ready to let go of what
no longer serves us.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
a happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
(00:41):
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives, as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
(01:03):
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Hello Soul Recovery Community.
It's Rev Rachel.
Thank you so much for joiningme here on the Recover your Soul
podcast, where we are healingourselves, where we step in
because our outside world isreally complex and painful.
Potentially, people are inaddiction or dysfunction and we
(01:27):
are learning detachment.
We are learning how to be okayeven if they're not okay, and
we're actually learning that wemight have a part in it, that
how we show up and how we chooseto see it has something to do
with it, that our lives are whatwe think and feel and believe
they are, and once that werealize that we can take our
(01:48):
power back, we can quit needingeverybody else to be okay for us
to be okay.
And one of the foundationalpieces of this is releasing old
patterns and beliefs that nolonger serve us.
And that's what I wanted totalk about today, because we are
here at the end of the year andI don't know about you, but I
tend to do a reflection at theend of the year.
(02:08):
How was this year?
How did it feel for me?
Sometimes it was a really hardyear and all I can think of is
God, I'm glad this year's over.
What we're looking at in soulrecovery is how do we take every
single thing that happens to us, every single thing, and learn
from it, grow from it, expandfrom it, release what hurts,
(02:31):
open to what feels good, stepinto a spiritual path where we
get to determine if we are okayor not and sometimes we're not
okay and we get to allowourselves to be not okay when we
don't feel good we're reallystepping into our authentic self
.
When I started this journeyalmost seven years ago I'm
(02:52):
coming up on my seven year soberanniversary in February, which
is amazing and a miracle all onits own.
But really my healing was fromcodependence.
If I am really honest withmyself, I drank because I didn't
feel comfortable and I didn'tfeel comfortable because other
people didn't feel comfortable,and it's been quite the process
of my own healing journey touncover the stories and how I
(03:18):
was raised and what did I tellmyself about what this meant and
how did that set up beliefs inmyself, myself about what this
meant and how did that set upbeliefs in myself?
And my first time of workingthrough these concepts on the
level that began my healing wasin the rooms of AA and Al-Anon,
working with a sponsor, doingthe traditional steps in the
(03:38):
traditional way, and AA has aflavor and Al-Anon has a flavor
and I learned a lot of thingsabout myself in that experience.
I learned a lot of things aboutmyself and I also, at the same
time, a couple years after I gotsober, started studying
metaphysics to become ametaphysical minister, which is
(03:58):
what I am now, and so I wastaking these concepts around the
12-step process.
The 12-step in 12 steps, ishaving had a spiritual awakening
as a result of these steps.
Right, it is intended to giveyou a process and it works if
you work it.
And then, at the same time asstudying to be a metaphysical
(04:21):
minister, I also did A Course inMiracles at my church, which is
this big book and if you'veheard about it before, it's been
around since I think, the 60s.
It's supposedly a channeledwork and it is a spiritual
program.
So here I am, I'm studying allthese different modalities at
(04:43):
this very early time in myrecovery and, if you have heard
my story before, it still wasn'tgoing great in my life.
It still wasn't going great inmy life.
My husband and I still hadproblems.
My older son, alex, in my firsttwo years of recovery, was
really struggling with his ownaddiction issues and really
(05:05):
complex situations happening inhis life.
And my younger son was incollege but was getting in
trouble for his addictions aswell and kind of struggling with
his ADHD in school.
And there was a lot going onand Rich and I were getting
better, but we were still not inthe loving place that we are
(05:27):
today, man, we still struggled.
So in those early years Ireally was still in a place
where I so wanted everythingelse to be different.
But I, finally, was takingresponsibility for my own life
and my own healing and I wasusing these three models to
learn from.
When I first started the podcast, you know I wasn't thinking
(05:49):
that I was creating a community,I was just sharing.
I was just sharing myexperience, strength and hope
and talking into my phonerecorder and uploading it raw
onto the podcast with this ideathat we can't do this alone,
that there was more happeningfor me than just what was
(06:10):
happening in the rooms and Ineeded to talk about it and I
needed to share those largerideas of what was happening.
And from that I talked aboutDetachment, which ended up being
the podcast that really has.
Maybe it's why you're here,maybe you heard that raw
original episode in the firstseason around detachment and you
(06:30):
know it all got clearer andclearer as time went by and the
more I concentrated on me andstarted realizing what am I
doing?
What are these steps that I'mtaking that have a little flavor
of what I learned from 12 stepbut are moving more into the
spiritual journey that I'mlearning and other places.
And that's how the originalnine steps of soul recovery was
(06:53):
created, and it really had moreof a modification of the 12
steps.
And then, over a couple years,I've been continuing to grow.
The process has been continuingto unfold.
The more and more and more I docoaching with people, the more
clarity I get about what thisprocess feels like and looks
(07:14):
like to help other people towork through, and that's when
the new nine steps of soulrecovery was born this year.
And so here we are today.
You know so.
If you've listened to previousepisodes that have have steps,
know that you might be confused.
Yes, because now we're talkingabout a new step five instead of
whatever it used to be in thepast.
(07:34):
I'm not even sure, but that'swhat I want to talk about today.
Is I actually want to talkabout step five, which is
releasing old patterns that nolonger serve you?
This is step five of the soulrecovery process, and if you're
interested in all nine of thosesteps, you can go to the website
about soul recovery and there'sthe full list, in more details,
of each of the steps.
(07:55):
Okay, so, releasing oldpatterns that no longer serve
you.
And the reason why I want to dothis is because we're at the
end of the year and I want tooffer you that this is also a
beautiful ritual of time in ourlife at the end of an era, at
the end of a year, to truly beready to commit to a new way of
(08:17):
being.
Part of this reason why Iwanted to do the releasing of
old patterns that no longerserve you is because this is the
beautiful time to make acommitment to step into a new
way of being.
So before I get into that,let's just quickly go over the
steps that are before this.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
(08:38):
Visit the website recover yoursoulnet to learn more about the
nine step soul recovery process.
Your soulnet to learn moreabout the nine step soul
recovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the nine
step soul recovery process, I'mhere for you, but you can also
(09:00):
choose to work the steps on yourown, with individual modules
intended to support you to workat your own pace and on your own
time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
recover your soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
(09:22):
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode.
The first of the nine steps insoul recovery is ready for
awakening, becoming aware thatyour dissatisfaction and
(09:43):
suffering is caused by yourcurrent perceptions, beliefs,
patterns and stories.
And then we move into thereleasing control, accepting
that you're powerless overeverything outside of yourself
and that your true strength andpeace comes from within.
And as we start to look at whatwe're controlling, we begin to
(10:04):
understand the why we begin tolook at the stories that we have
from our childhood.
If you go into how this workswith the 12 steps, this is
really step my.
Step three discovering ahealthy patterns, beliefs and
stories is what we learned fromdoing a fearless and searching
moral inventory.
(10:24):
It's the place where you startto look at what are my reactive
places.
What do I believe about myself?
And I say examine patterns,identify and acknowledge the
unhealthy patterns, beliefs andstories that have shaped your
life and behavior, andunderstand how these patterns
have contributed to your currentstate of suffering.
We can't fix the operatingsystem unless we know what the
(10:48):
operating system is.
It's all in your subconscious.
But there is this beautiful wayto discover and understand
these unhealthy patterns,beliefs and stories without
judgment.
Then we move to step four insoul recovery, open to
co-creating with a higher power.
Explore what higher power isfor you, your personal
(11:09):
relationship with it, and beginto co-create your life with this
higher power of yourunderstanding, choosing the
light and your authentic self.
This is where you're reallyconnecting to something even
greater still.
It's pretty hard to just handit over when you don't think
there's someone to take it fromyou, to support you with it.
(11:30):
So having that connection tohigher power is essential before
we move into what is now.
Step five release those oldpatterns that no longer serve
you, and I say cultivateawareness and insight.
Use your growing awareness togain insight from your old
patterns and beliefs and whatyou've learned from them.
(11:50):
Practice compassion andforgiveness.
Release these patterns throughawareness, compassion and
forgiveness, both towardsyourself and others.
So, in this step five, what Iwant you to really see because
whether you've done all theother steps or not, it doesn't
even really matter becauseeverything that you need for
your own healing is within youalready.
(12:11):
I believe our souls are justperfected, begging for us to
wake up and see how wonderful weare, to recognize your
wholeness, to stop playingaround with all the dysfunction
and, oh my gosh, theself-sabotage that we do, the
critical nature that we have.
This is the part of us thatwe're ready to release.
(12:33):
These are actually old patterns, these belief systems that were
not enough or not lovable.
All the complex nature of howwe judge ourselves and judge
others comes from a form of ustrying to protect ourselves.
And when we've done the othersteps and work through them,
(13:12):
either with me or from listeningto other podcasts that give
more exclamation, or doing thework, the steps, on your own,
what you're doing is you'rewalking yourself through a path
that offers forgiveness andhealing, that says something bad
happened and I'm going topretend like it didn't or I'm
going to try to let it go, butfrom this place and spirituality
and in soul recovery, where werecognize that everything that
happened to us has something toteach us that when we step into
(13:37):
our wholeness, we recognize weare fierce, we are strong, we
are survivors, we are warriors.
And when we stop thinking ofourselves as being less than, or
being victims or having theworld walk all over us, we
realize that our patterns,beliefs and stories told us that
that was okay, or that's howpeople treat people, or this is
(14:00):
all I deserve.
We get to this place where westart recognizing we actually
have so much more to do withwhat is happening to us in our
lives than we ever thoughtbefore.
What we think and feel andbelieve is the life that we have
, and we are here to release oldpatterns that no longer serve
(14:22):
us.
And if we don't see them, ifyou don't recognize them, then
it's really hard to let them go.
What I love about soul recoveryis that it is a practice of non
judgment, that when we seeaspects of ourselves that need
love and healing, we canactually let go of the part of
(14:43):
us that wants to beat ourselvesup for even having those hard
parts.
And part of this journey reallycame for me when I did the 12
steps through AA and Al-Anon andas I did my fifth step and
shared with my sponsors all ofthese things that had been heavy
on my heart, and then they gaveme a worksheet that was to help
(15:06):
understand the sixth step,which is to be ready to have've
seen these aspects of yourselfand then, at step six, we're
entirely ready to have Godspirit source take these from us
.
This is actually very similarto this step, but what I wanted
(15:27):
to say is that when I did myfifth step and I did this
worksheet that you do with thesix steps, it is a worksheet
that has all these they callthem character flaws I'm not
really a fan of that word, butall of these aspects of ourself
that come from pain, all theways that we show up when we're
hurting or how we learn tosurvive, or what the protectors
(15:49):
are at the doors, and we allhave them.
So, instead of being hard onourselves for having them, what
we want to do is have compassion, because it's hard to let it go
If you're being aggressive orholding onto it.
It's hard to let it go If yousaw the story about it.
It's hard to let it go If thereisn't gentleness and compassion
to yourself.
(16:10):
So through that exercise, I wasable to pull some of my
character flaws, some of mydefenses, some of my ways of
showing up when I'm in not in ahealthy place and some of my
character flaws, some of mydefenses, some of my ways of
showing up when I'm not in ahealthy place, and some of them
are withdrawn self-seeking,victim, self-righteous, afraid,
controlling, defensive, denying,enabling, fearful, judgmental,
(16:32):
gossipy, anxious, isolating,masked and selfish when I'm not
in my good place.
I use these ways to be in theworld and protect myself.
And they came from these oldpatterns.
They came from the good girlsyndrome.
They came from my not thinkingI was smart enough, my being
(16:53):
afraid of getting in trouble, mytrying to just fit into the
world around me, my success inbeing controlling and making
everything work out.
That got rewarded by peopleuntil it stopped working.
It's all these parts ofourselves that have these
foundations and our core wounds.
And the beauty of what I see insoul recovery is, if you want
(17:18):
to walk through every core woundand every resentment and every
harm that you ever felt in yourdiscovering unhealthy patterns,
beliefs and stories, be my guest.
You know what's right for you,but for most of us we need a
more gentle approach.
A more gentle approach.
(17:43):
We need to be able to notrelive a lot of that trauma but
have clarity around how thesepatterns were created and touch
in and give compassion to thosememories and those stories.
But we don't have to dig themall up because really they're a
repetition of the same story allthe time.
If you really look at even thislist of my go-to defense
mechanisms, they have a flavorthat is very similar and isn't
(18:07):
that interesting.
I don't have anger on there.
Other people might havesomething that's more on an
angry side.
Mine's definitely on acodependent side.
And when you're ready to releasethese patterns, when you're
ready to allow spirit to takethem from you, what you're
really saying is you're ready tolet go of the stories, that
(18:30):
you're ready to rewrite yourstory.
If you have a belief thatyou're not enough, you're ready
to hand that over and live froma way of being that is enough,
that believes that you'recapable, that you're smart
enough, that you're lovable, notfrom anybody else, but from you
on the inside.
(18:53):
Particular ritual is thatyou're making a commitment to
yourself to treat yourselfbetter, to love yourself more,
to be more connected to yourwholeness, to stand in your
strength and to give gentlecompassion and forgiveness to
yourself, for however youbehaved in the past, however you
(19:18):
showed up, whatever thesedefense mechanisms are, you're
going to allow them to release.
You're going to make acommitment to yourself to show
up in your life in a morehealthy whole way.
And the beauty is that when youmake that commitment, when you
(19:40):
decide that these patterns nolonger serve you, it doesn't
take anything but that trueintention of your heart, a
willingness, a sliver ofwillingness for things to begin
to profoundly change, becausewe're always going to want to
slip back into harmful patterns.
(20:00):
But when you've done thesesteps, before you move back into
, can I connect with my higherpower, can I trust and believe
that, that I am resourced here,that I am held here, that I am
loved here by the God of myunderstanding, by the higher
power of your understanding,whatever that is for you, and
(20:23):
when I am in that connection,then I can let go of control.
Right, it's really hard to letgo of control of the people that
you love in your life if youdon't think that there's
something that is there for themor for you.
But you have a higher power nowand you're letting go of
control because you're not goingto use these patterns and these
(20:46):
ways of showing up, thesedefensive ways of showing up in
your life, in the people aroundyou.
That's going to help you.
Let go of control.
See how they all are matchedand pieced together.
You realize that yourdissatisfaction and suffering is
caused by whatever your belief,stories and patterns are at
that time.
So if you want to feeldifferent, see different.
(21:08):
If you want it to be different,show up different.
We have the power to do that.
This is also the step whereforgiveness is, and in 12 step
it's dealt with in an amend way,but in soul recovery,
forgiveness and amending isaround showing up in your life,
(21:31):
with the people around you,regardless of who they are,
what's going on, whether they'rehealthy, unhealthy from your
whole and higher self, thatevery word and every action that
you have in reflection of themis coming from your wholeness.
It's coming from the placewhere you are releasing the past
(21:52):
, where you're letting go ofwhat no longer serves you, and a
lot of that letting go isholding on to old, painful
memories and stories, and theydid happen, but we do not have
to continue to replay them.
What I say in terms of amendsis once you are doing this
(22:12):
process, doors will open for youto have conversations with
people that allow you to takeresponsibility for your part,
and that often is very helpfulin the relationship.
But it's not always necessaryand sometimes it's not safe to
do so, and ultimately it's howyou show up that really makes a
(22:36):
difference in people's lives.
And sometimes it also meansthat you love people enough that
you let some relationships goand you stand in integrity and
you hold those memories withoutall the harm you are letting go
of what no longer serves you,what no longer serves you.
If we could truly release whatis not good for us emotionally,
(23:02):
physically, spiritually, beliefs, stories, all this noise that's
in our minds all the time, andso much of it does not serve us.
(23:24):
So much of these thoughts arerepetitive thoughts from the
past, fears of the future,anxiety.
What if you could release whatno longer serves you,
understanding that your oldpatterns and beliefs created who
you are today, that you'velearned from them?
Right?
So we're moving intoappreciation.
It's a step of gratitude, it'sa willingness to move into a new
way of being, it's a lightness,it's freedom, releasing all
(23:49):
that no longer serves you, and Ioften think it's so important
to really touch in and be gentleand kind to the different time
periods and parts of yourselfwhere hurts and harms happened
and beliefs were created, andjust give them the voice that
they need to say, validate thefeelings that happened at that
(24:11):
time that we often had to pushdown or ignore, and allow that
to have voice in this new way oflearning from them, giving them
gratitude and allowing them tobe in a place of calm and quiet,
of love, of appreciation, sothat those parts of us can
(24:32):
settle, so that we can begin towork into the next steps of soul
recovery.
And then step six would beembrace new beliefs and rewrite
your story.
And this is where we'restepping into new beliefs and
patterns that align with ourhigher self and our updated
perceptions.
And then step seven is alignwith your new perception.
(24:54):
You choose your reality, make aconscious choice in how you see
and interact with the worldfrom the standpoint of your
higher self.
We are truly beginning to walkthe path.
Higher self, we are trulybeginning to walk the path.
And then in step eight, it'sdeepen your spiritual practice,
engage in a regular spiritualpractice and continue shedding
old stories, beliefs and livingin the present moment.
(25:16):
You know this is a continualprocess.
It's not like you just do itone time.
This is how we have a processto deal with difficult things,
because it's always more tolearn.
There's always more happeningin our life.
This isn't about keeping usfrom having the complexity of
life.
It's around learning how to notthink that everything is
(25:38):
horrific, not catastrophizing,not being in fear, not having
anxiety, not thinking that theworld is falling apart, but
being curious about what'shappening and how you can best
be in it.
And then step nine is shineyour light.
Live authentically.
Live without control orjudgment.
Embrace your true self,accepting the world as it is and
(26:01):
shining your light to the worldaround you.
Become an inspiration and abeacon for others on their own
spiritual journey and soulrecovery.
So, as we come to the end of theyear, I invite you to really
look at this incredibleopportunity to step into a new
way of being, to release thepatterns that no longer serve
(26:25):
you, release the beliefs that nolonger serve you release the
beliefs that no longer serve you, release the judgments that no
longer serve.
You, release the stories thatno longer serve.
You release the harm and thehurts and the pain that no
longer serves you Just becauseyou allow the past fears,
(26:47):
emotions, wounds to dissipatedoes not diminish what happened.
It stops harming you with theenergy of reliving and
re-traumatizing and beingcompletely compelled to protect
yourself in a way that isn'tallowing you to open to the
truth of who you are.
Soul recovery is your ownjourney and I'm here to help you
(27:14):
in any way that I can.
You can book coaching sessionswith me.
You can listen to all thesepodcasts and gather steps along
the way.
There's the work, the steps onyour own on the website, still
adding more all the time, andit's really around the decision
that you make within yourself tocommit to yourself.
This community is holding spacefor you and, as we come to the
end of the year, thank you forbeing part of this community.
(27:37):
It has been a gift.
Looking forward to next season.
Until next time, namaste, thankyou for listening and I hope
that that helps support yoursoul recovery process.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the Recover your Soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers and not only do youget an incredible interview or
(28:00):
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
(28:21):
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with information for
upcoming events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
Today's episode is focused on step five
of the soul recovery process.
It's releasing old patterns andstories that no longer serve
you.
We can be so impacted with allof the subconscious stories and
beliefs that are in our mindsand through the soul recovery
process we've been learningabout them and by the time we
(00:20):
get to step five we are sayingwe are ready to let go of what
no longer serves us.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
a happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
(00:41):
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives, as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
(01:03):
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Hello Soul Recovery Community.
It's Rev Rachel.
Thank you so much for joiningme here on the Recover your Soul
podcast, where we are healingourselves, where we step in
because our outside world isreally complex and painful.
Potentially, people are inaddiction or dysfunction and we
(01:27):
are learning detachment.
We are learning how to be okayeven if they're not okay, and
we're actually learning that wemight have a part in it, that
how we show up and how we chooseto see it has something to do
with it, that our lives are whatwe think and feel and believe
they are, and once that werealize that we can take our
(01:48):
power back, we can quit needingeverybody else to be okay for us
to be okay.
And one of the foundationalpieces of this is releasing old
patterns and beliefs that nolonger serve us.
And that's what I wanted totalk about today, because we are
here at the end of the year andI don't know about you, but I
tend to do a reflection at theend of the year.
(02:08):
How was this year?
How did it feel for me?
Sometimes it was a really hardyear and all I can think of is
God, I'm glad this year's over.
What we're looking at in soulrecovery is how do we take every
single thing that happens to us, every single thing, and learn
from it, grow from it, expandfrom it, release what hurts,
(02:31):
open to what feels good, stepinto a spiritual path where we
get to determine if we are okayor not and sometimes we're not
okay and we get to allowourselves to be not okay when we
don't feel good we're reallystepping into our authentic self
.
When I started this journeyalmost seven years ago I'm
(02:52):
coming up on my seven year soberanniversary in February, which
is amazing and a miracle all onits own.
But really my healing was fromcodependence.
If I am really honest withmyself, I drank because I didn't
feel comfortable and I didn'tfeel comfortable because other
people didn't feel comfortable,and it's been quite the process
of my own healing journey touncover the stories and how I
(03:18):
was raised and what did I tellmyself about what this meant and
how did that set up beliefs inmyself, myself about what this
meant and how did that set upbeliefs in myself?
And my first time of workingthrough these concepts on the
level that began my healing wasin the rooms of AA and Al-Anon,
working with a sponsor, doingthe traditional steps in the
(03:38):
traditional way, and AA has aflavor and Al-Anon has a flavor
and I learned a lot of thingsabout myself in that experience.
I learned a lot of things aboutmyself and I also, at the same
time, a couple years after I gotsober, started studying
metaphysics to become ametaphysical minister, which is
(03:58):
what I am now, and so I wastaking these concepts around the
12-step process.
The 12-step in 12 steps, ishaving had a spiritual awakening
as a result of these steps.
Right, it is intended to giveyou a process and it works if
you work it.
And then, at the same time asstudying to be a metaphysical
(04:21):
minister, I also did A Course inMiracles at my church, which is
this big book and if you'veheard about it before, it's been
around since I think, the 60s.
It's supposedly a channeledwork and it is a spiritual
program.
So here I am, I'm studying allthese different modalities at
(04:43):
this very early time in myrecovery and, if you have heard
my story before, it still wasn'tgoing great in my life.
It still wasn't going great inmy life.
My husband and I still hadproblems.
My older son, alex, in my firsttwo years of recovery, was
really struggling with his ownaddiction issues and really
(05:05):
complex situations happening inhis life.
And my younger son was incollege but was getting in
trouble for his addictions aswell and kind of struggling with
his ADHD in school.
And there was a lot going onand Rich and I were getting
better, but we were still not inthe loving place that we are
(05:27):
today, man, we still struggled.
So in those early years Ireally was still in a place
where I so wanted everythingelse to be different.
But I, finally, was takingresponsibility for my own life
and my own healing and I wasusing these three models to
learn from.
When I first started the podcast, you know I wasn't thinking
(05:49):
that I was creating a community,I was just sharing.
I was just sharing myexperience, strength and hope
and talking into my phonerecorder and uploading it raw
onto the podcast with this ideathat we can't do this alone,
that there was more happeningfor me than just what was
(06:10):
happening in the rooms and Ineeded to talk about it and I
needed to share those largerideas of what was happening.
And from that I talked aboutDetachment, which ended up being
the podcast that really has.
Maybe it's why you're here,maybe you heard that raw
original episode in the firstseason around detachment and you
(06:30):
know it all got clearer andclearer as time went by and the
more I concentrated on me andstarted realizing what am I
doing?
What are these steps that I'mtaking that have a little flavor
of what I learned from 12 stepbut are moving more into the
spiritual journey that I'mlearning and other places.
And that's how the originalnine steps of soul recovery was
(06:53):
created, and it really had moreof a modification of the 12
steps.
And then, over a couple years,I've been continuing to grow.
The process has been continuingto unfold.
The more and more and more I docoaching with people, the more
clarity I get about what thisprocess feels like and looks
(07:14):
like to help other people towork through, and that's when
the new nine steps of soulrecovery was born this year.
And so here we are today.
You know so.
If you've listened to previousepisodes that have have steps,
know that you might be confused.
Yes, because now we're talkingabout a new step five instead of
whatever it used to be in thepast.
(07:34):
I'm not even sure, but that'swhat I want to talk about today.
Is I actually want to talkabout step five, which is
releasing old patterns that nolonger serve you?
This is step five of the soulrecovery process, and if you're
interested in all nine of thosesteps, you can go to the website
about soul recovery and there'sthe full list, in more details,
of each of the steps.
(07:55):
Okay, so, releasing oldpatterns that no longer serve
you.
And the reason why I want to dothis is because we're at the
end of the year and I want tooffer you that this is also a
beautiful ritual of time in ourlife at the end of an era, at
the end of a year, to truly beready to commit to a new way of
(08:17):
being.
Part of this reason why Iwanted to do the releasing of
old patterns that no longerserve you is because this is the
beautiful time to make acommitment to step into a new
way of being.
So before I get into that,let's just quickly go over the
steps that are before this.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
(08:38):
Visit the website recover yoursoulnet to learn more about the
nine step soul recovery process.
Your soulnet to learn moreabout the nine step soul
recovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the nine
step soul recovery process, I'mhere for you, but you can also
(09:00):
choose to work the steps on yourown, with individual modules
intended to support you to workat your own pace and on your own
time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
recover your soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
(09:22):
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode.
The first of the nine steps insoul recovery is ready for
awakening, becoming aware thatyour dissatisfaction and
(09:43):
suffering is caused by yourcurrent perceptions, beliefs,
patterns and stories.
And then we move into thereleasing control, accepting
that you're powerless overeverything outside of yourself
and that your true strength andpeace comes from within.
And as we start to look at whatwe're controlling, we begin to
(10:04):
understand the why we begin tolook at the stories that we have
from our childhood.
If you go into how this workswith the 12 steps, this is
really step my.
Step three discovering ahealthy patterns, beliefs and
stories is what we learned fromdoing a fearless and searching
moral inventory.
(10:24):
It's the place where you startto look at what are my reactive
places.
What do I believe about myself?
And I say examine patterns,identify and acknowledge the
unhealthy patterns, beliefs andstories that have shaped your
life and behavior, andunderstand how these patterns
have contributed to your currentstate of suffering.
We can't fix the operatingsystem unless we know what the
(10:48):
operating system is.
It's all in your subconscious.
But there is this beautiful wayto discover and understand
these unhealthy patterns,beliefs and stories without
judgment.
Then we move to step four insoul recovery, open to
co-creating with a higher power.
Explore what higher power isfor you, your personal
(11:09):
relationship with it, and beginto co-create your life with this
higher power of yourunderstanding, choosing the
light and your authentic self.
This is where you're reallyconnecting to something even
greater still.
It's pretty hard to just handit over when you don't think
there's someone to take it fromyou, to support you with it.
(11:30):
So having that connection tohigher power is essential before
we move into what is now.
Step five release those oldpatterns that no longer serve
you, and I say cultivateawareness and insight.
Use your growing awareness togain insight from your old
patterns and beliefs and whatyou've learned from them.
(11:50):
Practice compassion andforgiveness.
Release these patterns throughawareness, compassion and
forgiveness, both towardsyourself and others.
So, in this step five, what Iwant you to really see because
whether you've done all theother steps or not, it doesn't
even really matter becauseeverything that you need for
your own healing is within youalready.
(12:11):
I believe our souls are justperfected, begging for us to
wake up and see how wonderful weare, to recognize your
wholeness, to stop playingaround with all the dysfunction
and, oh my gosh, theself-sabotage that we do, the
critical nature that we have.
This is the part of us thatwe're ready to release.
(12:33):
These are actually old patterns, these belief systems that were
not enough or not lovable.
All the complex nature of howwe judge ourselves and judge
others comes from a form of ustrying to protect ourselves.
And when we've done the othersteps and work through them,
(13:12):
either with me or from listeningto other podcasts that give
more exclamation, or doing thework, the steps, on your own,
what you're doing is you'rewalking yourself through a path
that offers forgiveness andhealing, that says something bad
happened and I'm going topretend like it didn't or I'm
going to try to let it go, butfrom this place and spirituality
and in soul recovery, where werecognize that everything that
happened to us has something toteach us that when we step into
(13:37):
our wholeness, we recognize weare fierce, we are strong, we
are survivors, we are warriors.
And when we stop thinking ofourselves as being less than, or
being victims or having theworld walk all over us, we
realize that our patterns,beliefs and stories told us that
that was okay, or that's howpeople treat people, or this is
(14:00):
all I deserve.
We get to this place where westart recognizing we actually
have so much more to do withwhat is happening to us in our
lives than we ever thoughtbefore.
What we think and feel andbelieve is the life that we have
, and we are here to release oldpatterns that no longer serve
(14:22):
us.
And if we don't see them, ifyou don't recognize them, then
it's really hard to let them go.
What I love about soul recoveryis that it is a practice of non
judgment, that when we seeaspects of ourselves that need
love and healing, we canactually let go of the part of
(14:43):
us that wants to beat ourselvesup for even having those hard
parts.
And part of this journey reallycame for me when I did the 12
steps through AA and Al-Anon andas I did my fifth step and
shared with my sponsors all ofthese things that had been heavy
on my heart, and then they gaveme a worksheet that was to help
(15:06):
understand the sixth step,which is to be ready to have've
seen these aspects of yourselfand then, at step six, we're
entirely ready to have Godspirit source take these from us
.
This is actually very similarto this step, but what I wanted
(15:27):
to say is that when I did myfifth step and I did this
worksheet that you do with thesix steps, it is a worksheet
that has all these they callthem character flaws I'm not
really a fan of that word, butall of these aspects of ourself
that come from pain, all theways that we show up when we're
hurting or how we learn tosurvive, or what the protectors
(15:49):
are at the doors, and we allhave them.
So, instead of being hard onourselves for having them, what
we want to do is have compassion, because it's hard to let it go
If you're being aggressive orholding onto it.
It's hard to let it go If yousaw the story about it.
It's hard to let it go If thereisn't gentleness and compassion
to yourself.
(16:10):
So through that exercise, I wasable to pull some of my
character flaws, some of mydefenses, some of my ways of
showing up when I'm in not in ahealthy place and some of my
character flaws, some of mydefenses, some of my ways of
showing up when I'm not in ahealthy place, and some of them
are withdrawn self-seeking,victim, self-righteous, afraid,
controlling, defensive, denying,enabling, fearful, judgmental,
(16:32):
gossipy, anxious, isolating,masked and selfish when I'm not
in my good place.
I use these ways to be in theworld and protect myself.
And they came from these oldpatterns.
They came from the good girlsyndrome.
They came from my not thinkingI was smart enough, my being
(16:53):
afraid of getting in trouble, mytrying to just fit into the
world around me, my success inbeing controlling and making
everything work out.
That got rewarded by peopleuntil it stopped working.
It's all these parts ofourselves that have these
foundations and our core wounds.
And the beauty of what I see insoul recovery is, if you want
(17:18):
to walk through every core woundand every resentment and every
harm that you ever felt in yourdiscovering unhealthy patterns,
beliefs and stories, be my guest.
You know what's right for you,but for most of us we need a
more gentle approach.
A more gentle approach.
(17:43):
We need to be able to notrelive a lot of that trauma but
have clarity around how thesepatterns were created and touch
in and give compassion to thosememories and those stories.
But we don't have to dig themall up because really they're a
repetition of the same story allthe time.
If you really look at even thislist of my go-to defense
mechanisms, they have a flavorthat is very similar and isn't
(18:07):
that interesting.
I don't have anger on there.
Other people might havesomething that's more on an
angry side.
Mine's definitely on acodependent side.
And when you're ready to releasethese patterns, when you're
ready to allow spirit to takethem from you, what you're
really saying is you're ready tolet go of the stories, that
(18:30):
you're ready to rewrite yourstory.
If you have a belief thatyou're not enough, you're ready
to hand that over and live froma way of being that is enough,
that believes that you'recapable, that you're smart
enough, that you're lovable, notfrom anybody else, but from you
on the inside.
(18:53):
Particular ritual is thatyou're making a commitment to
yourself to treat yourselfbetter, to love yourself more,
to be more connected to yourwholeness, to stand in your
strength and to give gentlecompassion and forgiveness to
yourself, for however youbehaved in the past, however you
(19:18):
showed up, whatever thesedefense mechanisms are, you're
going to allow them to release.
You're going to make acommitment to yourself to show
up in your life in a morehealthy whole way.
And the beauty is that when youmake that commitment, when you
(19:40):
decide that these patterns nolonger serve you, it doesn't
take anything but that trueintention of your heart, a
willingness, a sliver ofwillingness for things to begin
to profoundly change, becausewe're always going to want to
slip back into harmful patterns.
(20:00):
But when you've done thesesteps, before you move back into
, can I connect with my higherpower, can I trust and believe
that, that I am resourced here,that I am held here, that I am
loved here by the God of myunderstanding, by the higher
power of your understanding,whatever that is for you, and
(20:23):
when I am in that connection,then I can let go of control.
Right, it's really hard to letgo of control of the people that
you love in your life if youdon't think that there's
something that is there for themor for you.
But you have a higher power nowand you're letting go of
control because you're not goingto use these patterns and these
(20:46):
ways of showing up, thesedefensive ways of showing up in
your life, in the people aroundyou.
That's going to help you.
Let go of control.
See how they all are matchedand pieced together.
You realize that yourdissatisfaction and suffering is
caused by whatever your belief,stories and patterns are at
that time.
So if you want to feeldifferent, see different.
(21:08):
If you want it to be different,show up different.
We have the power to do that.
This is also the step whereforgiveness is, and in 12 step
it's dealt with in an amend way,but in soul recovery,
forgiveness and amending isaround showing up in your life,
(21:31):
with the people around you,regardless of who they are,
what's going on, whether they'rehealthy, unhealthy from your
whole and higher self, thatevery word and every action that
you have in reflection of themis coming from your wholeness.
It's coming from the placewhere you are releasing the past
(21:52):
, where you're letting go ofwhat no longer serves you, and a
lot of that letting go isholding on to old, painful
memories and stories, and theydid happen, but we do not have
to continue to replay them.
What I say in terms of amendsis once you are doing this
(22:12):
process, doors will open for youto have conversations with
people that allow you to takeresponsibility for your part,
and that often is very helpfulin the relationship.
But it's not always necessaryand sometimes it's not safe to
do so, and ultimately it's howyou show up that really makes a
(22:36):
difference in people's lives.
And sometimes it also meansthat you love people enough that
you let some relationships goand you stand in integrity and
you hold those memories withoutall the harm you are letting go
of what no longer serves you,what no longer serves you.
If we could truly release whatis not good for us emotionally,
(23:02):
physically, spiritually, beliefs, stories, all this noise that's
in our minds all the time, andso much of it does not serve us.
(23:24):
So much of these thoughts arerepetitive thoughts from the
past, fears of the future,anxiety.
What if you could release whatno longer serves you,
understanding that your oldpatterns and beliefs created who
you are today, that you'velearned from them?
Right?
So we're moving intoappreciation.
It's a step of gratitude, it'sa willingness to move into a new
way of being, it's a lightness,it's freedom, releasing all
(23:49):
that no longer serves you, and Ioften think it's so important
to really touch in and be gentleand kind to the different time
periods and parts of yourselfwhere hurts and harms happened
and beliefs were created, andjust give them the voice that
they need to say, validate thefeelings that happened at that
(24:11):
time that we often had to pushdown or ignore, and allow that
to have voice in this new way oflearning from them, giving them
gratitude and allowing them tobe in a place of calm and quiet,
of love, of appreciation, sothat those parts of us can
(24:32):
settle, so that we can begin towork into the next steps of soul
recovery.
And then step six would beembrace new beliefs and rewrite
your story.
And this is where we'restepping into new beliefs and
patterns that align with ourhigher self and our updated
perceptions.
And then step seven is alignwith your new perception.
(24:54):
You choose your reality, make aconscious choice in how you see
and interact with the worldfrom the standpoint of your
higher self.
We are truly beginning to walkthe path.
Higher self, we are trulybeginning to walk the path.
And then in step eight, it'sdeepen your spiritual practice,
engage in a regular spiritualpractice and continue shedding
old stories, beliefs and livingin the present moment.
(25:16):
You know this is a continualprocess.
It's not like you just do itone time.
This is how we have a processto deal with difficult things,
because it's always more tolearn.
There's always more happeningin our life.
This isn't about keeping usfrom having the complexity of
life.
It's around learning how to notthink that everything is
(25:38):
horrific, not catastrophizing,not being in fear, not having
anxiety, not thinking that theworld is falling apart, but
being curious about what'shappening and how you can best
be in it.
And then step nine is shineyour light.
Live authentically.
Live without control orjudgment.
Embrace your true self,accepting the world as it is and
(26:01):
shining your light to the worldaround you.
Become an inspiration and abeacon for others on their own
spiritual journey and soulrecovery.
So, as we come to the end of theyear, I invite you to really
look at this incredibleopportunity to step into a new
way of being, to release thepatterns that no longer serve
(26:25):
you, release the beliefs that nolonger serve you release the
beliefs that no longer serve you, release the judgments that no
longer serve.
You, release the stories thatno longer serve.
You release the harm and thehurts and the pain that no
longer serves you Just becauseyou allow the past fears,
(26:47):
emotions, wounds to dissipatedoes not diminish what happened.
It stops harming you with theenergy of reliving and
re-traumatizing and beingcompletely compelled to protect
yourself in a way that isn'tallowing you to open to the
truth of who you are.
Soul recovery is your ownjourney and I'm here to help you
(27:14):
in any way that I can.
You can book coaching sessionswith me.
You can listen to all thesepodcasts and gather steps along
the way.
There's the work, the steps onyour own on the website, still
adding more all the time, andit's really around the decision
that you make within yourself tocommit to yourself.
This community is holding spacefor you and, as we come to the
end of the year, thank you forbeing part of this community.
(27:37):
It has been a gift.
Looking forward to next season.
Until next time, namaste, thankyou for listening and I hope
that that helps support yoursoul recovery process.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the Recover your Soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers and not only do youget an incredible interview or
(28:00):
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
(28:21):
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with information for
upcoming events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
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