March 24, 2025 • 47 mins
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What if true freedom wasn’t about changing others, but about shifting how you see and engage with the world? In this episode, Rev. Rachel Harrison explores the transformative concept of owning your projections—the unconscious ways we attribute our unhealed wounds and limiting beliefs to others. Inspired by The Four Insights by Alberto Villoldo, she walks us through a powerful exercise to recognize and reframe these beliefs into empowering “journey statements.” Along the way, she guides us through the 9-Step Soul Recovery process, showing how taking responsibility for our inner world allows us to reclaim our power, break free from blame, and step into authentic peace—no longer needing others or the world to be different for us to be okay.
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Episode Transcript
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Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
One of the core tenets of soul recovery is
the concept that to heal theworld around us, the people
around us, isn't about changingthem.
It's about turning theattention to ourselves and
recognizing that the onlycontrol that we actually have is
to heal and change ourselves,how we see it, how we're going
to show up in it, and to look atour own core wounds and our own
(00:21):
beliefs and our own patternsand be willing to do the work to
change what no longer serves usand to stop projecting our
wounds onto the world around us,but taking our power back,
taking responsibility for how weare going to interact with
everything.
Today, I end up going throughall nine steps of the soul
(00:44):
recovery process, as I sharewith you this concept of owning
your projections, which isaround taking responsibility for
how you are going to be in yourlife, how you are going to
choose to see it, and it's asense of freedom when you let go
of needing them to be a certainway for you to be okay.
Enjoy the episode.
Them to be a certain way foryou to be okay.
(01:04):
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast a spiritual path to a
happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
(01:25):
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Hi, it's Rev Rachel.
(01:46):
Welcome to the Recovery Soulpodcasting community.
I'm so grateful to have youhere today.
We are indeed learning torecover our souls, to be able to
take our power back and tolearn how to be okay when
everything around us doesn'tfeel okay, to choose a spiritual
path to a happy and healthylife, and this means that we
(02:07):
take responsibility.
It means we take responsibilityfor how we choose to see it.
It takes responsibility abouthow we choose to show up in it.
It means that we stop thinkingthat the other people around us,
everything in our life, is thereason why we are not happy, and
what I've been doing in thelast seven years on my own soul
recovery journey is deepeningthis understanding through all
(02:29):
the variety of spiritual andpsychology and even mindset
tools that are out there andthere's just so many beautiful
and enriching tools out thereand concepts, and it's about
finding what is right for you.
Your own mixture of what'sright for you and what the
mixture is for me has turnedinto soul recovery.
(02:52):
You know, I got here because Istarted in 12 step.
I got here because my life wasso, so, so miserable that I'd
gotten to that place where I hitthe wall, where I was sick and
tired of being sick and tired.
I was sick and tired of beingan alcoholic, I was sick and
tired of blaming everyone aroundme for my unhappiness and I was
sick and tired of being acodependent people pleaser.
(03:12):
And there is something reallybeautiful about being in that
state where you look around andyou say, is this it, is this
what I want, is this how it'ssupposed to be for me?
And guess what?
You have a choice.
You have a choice.
This is the piece that's sobeautiful about the new step one
in soul recovery when you'reready for awakening, when you
have that moment in time whereyou recognize that everything
(03:35):
else outside of you is what itis and that you get to choose
how you're going to interactwith it.
You're going to choose whetheryou're going to be in it, in
this relationship, in this job,in this location, but it isn't
about changing them.
It's about coming more alignedwith you, stepping more fully
into your authentic self, intoyour wholeness, into your true
(03:57):
nature of who you are, and wequit blaming.
And so today's podcast issomething that I've been wanting
to do for a while, because it'san exercise I got out of one of
the books that I've read thathas been really impactful to me,
and it's around projection.
And, first and foremost, I wantto say that projection is a
term that has a lot of differentlayers to it, and I am not a
(04:19):
psychology expert.
I'm not here to try to talkabout it in terms of, maybe,
what a therapist would talkabout it.
In and in everything that I say, please understand that I am
filtering it through my ownperception, which actually,
interesting enough, is kind ofwhat a projection is right.
So I'm projecting onto thescreen of my movie of the world
(04:42):
of life, the way that it filtersthrough me.
But I want to share with youthese tools that I'm learning,
and so the concepts that I'mtalking about, and even as I use
the word projection, take itlightly, because if you're
somebody out there who's reallyintellectual and you're like no,
no, no, no, no, no.
This is Freud had.
Projection is one of the defensemechanisms and he labeled it as
(05:03):
such and such.
Okay, that is true, but we arehere to look at it from a soul
recovery vantage point, a way oflooking at how we can take our
power back and be in our ownlife Without this concept that
we think that it's happening tous.
Life is happening for us andnot to us.
(05:23):
And the more that we stand inthis place, it says, I get to
decide.
In step one in soul recovery,it says recognize your suffering
.
Become aware that yourdissatisfaction and suffering is
caused by your currentperceptions, beliefs, patterns,
stories.
It's caused by how it currentlyis running through your
operating system, andacknowledge the need for change.
(05:46):
Understand that this awarenessis the first step towards
awakening and transformation.
This is the first step towardshealing, and owning your
projections is a profound way oftaking your power back.
(06:09):
Taking your power back, you know, my story is that for so much
of my marriage, my projectionwas that Rich and his behavior
and his actions and who he was,and his alcoholism was the
problem.
And in the midst of that I'mprojecting, that my happiness is
based on his well-being.
Well, the truth was that I hada whole bunch of stuff going on.
I had a whole bunch of thingsthat I needed to look at.
(06:31):
I had a whole bunch of unhealedwounds.
I had a whole bunch ofexpectations.
I had a way that I thought thatit was all supposed to be.
I had my own defense mechanisms.
I had my own character flaws,my own defense mechanisms.
I had my own character flaws, Ihad my own wounding, I had my
own stuff, and instead of mebeing in my life and working on
(06:55):
my stuff, I was projecting myunhappiness on him and saying,
if he would be different, I'd bebetter.
So I want to talk about thisfrom the spiritual vantage point
and again, as always, take whatyou like, take what you need,
take what aligns with you, whatyou feel is giving you a tool,
and process it in your ownjourney of healing, and if it
doesn't align with you and itdoesn't seem to resonate, just
(07:18):
let it go.
Take what you need and leavethe rest.
I want to talk about this fromtwo books, and I have read so
many spiritual books and I'm sograteful for the chance that I
have to actually deepen thisrelationship so much, and I'm
sure there's actually moreplaces that I've gotten these
concepts from, but these are thetwo that are in my hand right
(07:42):
now that I've been going through.
You know that the Course inMiracles is huge for me, and
it's something that I did aboutright after I got sober actually
maybe less than a year, no,about a year after I got sober,
because I was really in the 12steps for that first year.
And, of course, the Miracles,which is a channeled work, and
again, I want your spiritualitybe yours.
(08:03):
I'm always sharing with you myspiritual experience, but I'm
not trying to tell you what todo spiritually, even as a
metaphysical minister.
I just want to present you withinformation and, if it
resonates with you, go with itand learn more about it.
So the Course in Miracles wasthis really incredible text, and
what I got out of it the mostwas this part of us that is
(08:27):
constantly judging and thatjudgment is suffering, because
the judgment is this desire forus to protect ourselves, and if
we can judge, either for good orfor somebody being bad, then we
can have certainty.
We can try to figure it all out, but we're putting them as the
other.
That's duality and spirituality.
(08:49):
There's a concept of dualityversus the oneness right and in
the duality it's like theoutside, the other, the they
versus the wholeness of all.
And when you stop judging, youactually can be more present
with what is.
You can be in a neutral stateand recognize that everything
(09:11):
that we're judging good or bad,is actually the process of how
it's going through our own minds, through our own belief systems
.
And that's the power of soulrecovery, which is this, this
understanding that of course wehave beliefs and patterns and
systems.
Of course we do.
That's what our brains do.
Our brains are like littlecomputers and from the moment
(09:31):
that you were born, you arefiguring out the world.
I'm looking at my littlegrandson's pictures.
He's four weeks old now and hehas this little inquisitive,
grumpy face right Because hehasn't started smiling yet.
And I'm just looking at him andI'm having this visualization
(09:53):
of his brain and his soul comingtogether and starting to like
figure out the world.
And he's already figured outthings like if I'm hungry, I cry
, and then I get picked up and Iget attention.
If I want attention, I cry.
Right now he's in a place wherehe just wants contact naps.
He just wants to nurse and hewants contact naps.
(10:14):
He doesn't want to be laid down, he wants to be with you all
the time.
Well, he's figuring that out.
This is our computer system inour brains that figures out how
to get our needs met, and thenhe's making decisions Is it safe
here, is it unsafe here?
And it only grows from there asour brains begin to expand.
And you know me, I'm in the woo.
(10:35):
So I think that our souls andour spirits are part of that and
they're awakening within uswith how our brains begin to
develop.
But of course they develop withprotective mechanisms.
Of course they set up systemsAside from the wisdom of the
universe.
When we tap into that space, ittakes a long time for us to
(10:58):
even open up those channels.
But when you're a human being,in your body you're creating
your own operating system thatis based on the experiences in
which you have.
So every single thing that yousee, every single thing that you
do, every single thing that youinteract with is a product of
you focusing and having thatmove through this system that is
(11:21):
in your brain that has allthese experiences, this system
that is in your brain that hasall these experiences.
Everything that we see is aproduct of how we choose to see
it, how we choose to be with it,and that actually means that
you have control over yourexperience.
We're powerless over everysingle thing outside of ourself.
That's step two in soulrecovery to truly understand
(11:43):
that we are powerless, not froma place of weakness, but from a
place of freedom and release.
You are not in control ofanything outside of you, nor
should you, nor do you want tobe.
That you have control of you,that you have control of how
you're going to see it.
You have control of how itfeels to you.
You have control of what you're, and that allows us to be in
(12:11):
what is from a more empoweredspace, and this concept of
projection, where we're puttingon somebody else, how we feel.
Now, absolutely, when people sayor do things that are unkind,
there are things.
There's no doubt that peopleare showing up in ways that are
(12:31):
not well, no doubt.
There's no doubt that peopleare showing up in ways that are
not well, no doubt.
So I'm never saying thatsomeone is not coming at you or
you don't deal with things thatare incredibly painful,
incredibly difficult, but atevery moment we are being
invited, we're being offered theability to choose how we're
going to interact with it, howwe're going to see it.
Am I going to project mywoundedness and my lack and my
(12:54):
fear into that situation, or amI going to interact with it how
we're going to see it?
Am I going to project mywoundedness and my lack and my
fear into that situation, or amI going to actually look at
those aspects of myself and becurious and say why do I want to
blame rich for everything?
What is that within me?
Oh, I have a belief system.
I have a part of myself.
This is step three in soulrecovery.
(13:14):
Who knew that we're going to begoing through all the steps
today In soul recovery?
Then, in step three, we'relooking at what are these belief
, stories and patterns that areunderneath.
This is what Carl Jung broughtabout in the shadow self, this
concept that we, of course, weall have these shadow parts.
Self, this concept that we, ofcourse, we all have these shadow
(13:36):
parts.
And the shadow parts want tostay hidden, they want to hide,
they don't want to come out.
So they use all these tools andstories and patterns and
beliefs to protect themselves,and so much of it is protecting
a core wound, and most of ourcore wounds are based around
being unlovable and unworthy.
It's so tender to me, so tenderto me, that if you really were
(14:05):
to have all of us come togetherand have clarity and
authenticity about what thatreal core belief is underneath,
clarity and authenticity aboutwhat that real core belief is
underneath that got set up byhurts and disappointments or or
trauma, that there's somethingunderneath that we all are
terrified that we're not enoughsomehow, that there's something
(14:26):
wrong with us.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on Zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
(14:46):
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the nine
step soul recovery process, I'mhere for you.
But you can also choose to workthe steps on your own, with
individual modules intended tosupport you, to work at your own
pace and on your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
(15:07):
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people,
sharing soul recovery tips forus and also do spiritual book
studies.
You can also find DailyInspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode.
(15:29):
I think I may have said this inthe last podcast, having just
done four days of Tony Robbins.
I think I may have said this inthe last podcast, having just
done four days of Tony Robbinsthere was just so much evidence
of thousands and thousands andthousands of people on this, on
this particular virtual summitright, that are all experiencing
the same thing, and I know thatthat's, that's mine too, and so
(15:51):
that's a projection.
When we don't feel like we'reenough, of course we're.
That is going through oursystem and then projecting out
into the world around us.
And Brene Brown famously hassaid you will find what you're
looking for.
You will find what you'relooking for.
If you're looking for somebodyto tell you that you're not
enough, guess what?
You will absolutely find peoplewho will tell you you're not
(16:12):
enough.
And if you look for people whowill tell you how wonderful and
beautiful and whole you are, youwill resonate that with that.
You will find that.
And here we are in soulrecovery.
We got here because we it wasmessy.
It was messy and hard anduncomfortable and something
happened right.
Maybe you have someone in yourlife who is really struggling
(16:34):
with addiction, or maybe you'rereally realizing that your
codependent behaviors are reallykeeping you from being in
healthy relationships.
Or maybe you just found thispodcast because spirit gave it
to you.
I love the stories where peoplecome to me for coaching and I
say so, how'd you find thepodcast?
You know, and how can I helpyou?
And they're like I have no idea.
(16:54):
I have no idea.
I was on Spotify, I was onApple and you just came up.
That is divine.
That is that guidance that justsays you're in a place where
something is there working foryou, because we are not here
without that guidance ofspirituality.
I am so grateful to be on thisspiritual path.
(17:15):
So this place where we are isus taking our power back.
We're starting to recognize thetruth around these principles.
So the two books that I have inmy hand right now the first one
is called the Four InsightsWisdom, power and Grace of the
earth keepers, by Alberto Valado, and this book was used by my,
(17:38):
my local sacred circle that wedo.
We used to do it every monthlast year and this year we're
doing it every other month, andit's the first Saturday and it's
a morning.
And for last year we did twobooks.
We did a Wayne Dyer book andthen we did this one, the
Alberto Valado book, and what Ilove about this book is that it
(18:00):
had so many beautiful aspects ofwhat I've learned in so many
other places.
This is the thing, when youstart reading so much content
that you realize it all isspeaking the same language, that
you realize it all is speakingthe same language.
It's all speaking about love,wholeness, forgiveness, letting
(18:23):
go of judgment, letting go ofthis heaviness that we have,
that we feel responsible foreverybody, and coming into our
own, being selfish enough to doour own spiritual work.
It all is speaking the samelanguage, about connecting to
something even greater still.
And even if you read the Biblefrom a metaphysical
interpretation, it's saying thesame stuff too, right?
So it's really this concept ofreally noticing that the truth
(18:47):
is filtering through.
To choose love and not fear thatwas the main tenet of the
Course in Miracles, too.
To choose love and not fear.
That was the main tenet of theCourse in Miracles, too, to
choose love and not fear.
So Alberto Valado is a man whodiscovered shamanism and has
studied through a whole bunch ofother things.
He has a bunch of books.
He's really good, anyway, and Iwon't even begin to go into
(19:08):
this book, but he had a sectionin the back that was around
owning your projections, andthat's the model that we're
going to do.
And then the other one is thatI just recently started reading
A Way of Mastery, which isanother channeled work, similar
to how the Course in Miracles isa channeled work.
And again, you know, takewhatever you believe about any
(19:29):
of those things, it's fine, butwhat it says in the first line
of the projection section isnothing you experience has been
caused by anything outside ofyou.
Now, a few years ago, more thana few years ago, when I first
started my journey of soulrecovery, seven years ago, that
(19:50):
was a really hard concept.
That was a really hard conceptfor me to get, because I was so
stuck in that deep belief thatwe have that, that this wasn't
mine, that this was because myfamily were a bunch of addicts,
that my sons were ADHD and werefalling into their own issues,
(20:11):
that my husband was the way thathe was, that you know, my jobs
were the way that they were.
The people that I worked withwere the people that they were,
that everything that Iexperienced was because of them.
But the more spirituality I'vedone, the more clarity I have is
that the reality in which isinside your soul, the peace in
which is inside your soul, willreflect out.
(20:34):
That's such a tenet of soulrecovery.
To do your inner work to changeexternal circumstances, you must
turn the attention to yourselfand your own healing.
That is a foundational piece ofsoul recovery and it means that
you actually takeresponsibility.
You take responsibility to workon your inside, to work your
(20:57):
shadow, as Carl Jung would say.
So another line says the way toheal the world is not by
seeking to change what is on theoutside, but by first changing
what's on the inside.
And it says projection is anact of trying to get rid of what
you do not want within.
So if I don't feel worthy, if Idon't feel innately and this is
(21:19):
all subconscious a lot of timeswe don't even really know that
there's a limiting belief we'relike.
But I'm working hard in mybusiness and I have goals and I
have this clarity of who I amand what I want.
But if you have a subconscious,underlying core wound that's
been hiding in there, it getsstuck in that projection that
(21:41):
you don't even know isprojecting and keeping you stuck
.
That's the part that's soincredibly fascinating about
that is that when we project toothers why we're not being
successful, why this isn'thappening, why my relationship
isn't happening, we're puttingthe energy outside instead of
looking at what we could learnmore on the inside.
(22:02):
There's a lot of learning thatI'm seeing for myself that makes
me understand how deep it is tobe in judgment, how deep it is
to want things to be different,how deep it is to be
dissatisfied with the world andthe people around us right To be
pissed at the cars or the waythat the politics are going, or
(22:24):
you know all these things thatare happening.
Why can't my kids get ittogether?
Why can't my husband be likethis?
Why can't my wife be like this?
Why is?
Why is it this way that it is?
And you've heard me time andtime again come back to the
place that says you have controlof nothing outside of yourself,
but you have control of what'sinside of you and you can start
(22:46):
asking yourself am I judging?
Why am I judging this?
What?
What's happening?
If you've ever had any desire todo the steps, I have the first
four steps on the website andthey're like being in a session
with me.
There are videos that includeguided meditation and working
through the steps and reallyworking on this powerlessness.
Because step two, where youreally have clarity and the
(23:11):
freedom that you can feel ofstop trying to control
everything around you, is soprofound.
It just changes everything andit helps with the projection.
It helps with that part thatyou want to make them be a
certain way.
I want to go to the RobertoValado book and he says to own
your projections, you must firstdiscover and acknowledge the
(23:33):
parts of yourself that you'verefused to look at, to heal.
This goes back to the soulrecovery process.
In the soul recovery process,you know we've talked about step
one, two and three now, andthen the process is about being
ready to truly look at.
What are these beliefs, whatare these patterns, these
stories that are running myoperating system?
(23:54):
Can I then step four connect toa higher power, recognize that
I'm part of something bigger,more than just this body?
Here I am connected to sourceI'm connected to everything it's
the oneness that I talked aboutand then to be willing to look
at the patterns and be willingto let them go.
Most of us have been doing thisfor so long living from these
(24:17):
limiting, painful woundedness,this trying to control the world
around us and everybody aroundus that it's pretty scary to
think about letting that go andto changing our belief systems
and opening up to a new way ofbeing.
We've been using the same toolsfor a long time.
When you have awareness thatthese patterns, beliefs and
(24:38):
stories have given you something, that you have learned from
them they have been part of yourcurriculum of life on earth
school, as I call it that you'vegained something from it, that
it's giving you insight intothose shadow pieces to let them
go.
But you're ready to change.
You're ready to release oldpatterns that no longer serve
you and then you embrace newones.
(25:00):
What is a healthier way ofbeing If I'm not projecting, if
I'm actually in that space oftruly connecting to my true
nature and being in the world asit is?
Neutral, more neutral thingsthat are happening around us are
just neutral.
It's what we decide that theyare, that make them good or bad.
It's that judgment.
(25:21):
It is just happening and someof the stuff that is happening
is really complex and difficult.
But if you have a situationsuch as somebody's an addict and
they are in the depths of theiraddiction and they are making
choices that are horrendous,horrendous choices, that is an
(25:42):
is for them and we can attach toit a whole bunch of stories
about what they're doing to us.
And if they would do, if theywould be a certain way, then we
could be okay.
And there are real consequences, real boots on the ground,
things that have to be done.
Maybe it's a separation, maybeit's, you know, a safer place to
(26:04):
live.
All of those are real lifesituations.
But we are determining everystep of the way whether we're
projecting how we feel, who wethink we are, what they're doing
to us in those situations.
And the healthier you get andthe more you step into the
wholeness of who you are, themore that you have the ability
(26:25):
to see them as struggling, tosee them in their own journey,
their own experience, and tohave the sadness that might come
around how your life is goingto change, to be disappointed,
to have your heart broken.
But those are not actuallycoming from those patterns and
beliefs and stories that arekeeping you stuck.
(26:46):
That's actually standing in thetruth of who you are.
That's giving you control overwho you are and how you're going
to show up, because they can'tmake you feel any way.
They can provide you anopportunity to witness and see
just like they're feeling thesame way.
There are a lot of addictsaddicts in their depths of their
(27:09):
disease, are selfish, selfish,selfish.
They can't see that anything isnot a projection.
They are so in a projectionthat their lives are so horrible
because of everything andeveryone and no one has been
there.
And it is a quintessentialspace of somebody, in the depths
(27:29):
of their own darkness, thatthey can't look at themselves.
So they project it out and thenthey're using a substance
alcohol and many drugs orsubstances that it doesn't
matter.
Eventually it will become anaddiction because of what it
does to your body.
So it's this very difficultsituation that people can be in,
(27:50):
but if you look at it from aneutral space, everyone's in it,
in their own place, and you'retaking your power back by being
in it for you.
So this concept that AlbertoValado talks about in owning
your projections, is about beingwilling to recognize that
everything is a reflection forus to see better for ourselves.
(28:12):
Everything is a reflection tostop saying they're the problem
and start saying what am I goingto do about it for me?
Not that you're going to changethem, not even that if you do
this work so well, so intently,so beautifully, so fully, that
you will magically, miraculouslychange and sprinkle stardust
(28:35):
over everybody around you andeverything will be great for
them.
Maybe it will not, and maybe,just maybe, your profound
changes in yourself will be alight and a beacon of hope for
others to make choices forthemselves, because you're
handing them the responsibilityof their own life and you're not
(28:55):
accepting their projectionseither.
And that is power.
That's power to be okay evenwhen everyone around you is not
okay, and it's power to reflectback to them.
You're not taking theirunhealthy projections, you're
allowing it to be a mirror, butyou're standing firm and with
boundaries in your own way ofbeing.
(29:16):
Standing firm and withboundaries in your own way of
being.
So this concept of looking atand doing your own shadow work
means that you're seeing thatthere's benefit in looking at
these parts of ourselves, tolove yourself completely for
everything, even the darkestshadow.
One of the things that Albertosays is you project every aspect
of your shadow onto the world,be it positive or negative, and
(29:40):
the universe is so fluid that itwill arrange itself to
accommodate all of yourprojections and prove you right
every time.
Right that piece where, if wewant to see beauty and happiness
and good, we're going to getthat, we're going to have more
of that.
And if we're seeing thatnothing ever works and this is
scary and terrible we're goingto get that.
We're going to have more ofthat.
And if we're seeing thatnothing ever works and this is
scary and terrible we're goingto get more of that.
(30:01):
And it isn't a reward or apunishment system.
It's a an incredible part ofhow spirituality and the laws of
spirituality speak above, where, when we align and take
responsibility for ourself andwhatever that frequency is, we
will align with that frequency,because it is the nature of how
(30:24):
science works.
It's the nature of how theuniverse works.
So you get to choose.
(30:58):
No-transcript journey statement.
You are claiming, you aremaking a decision and claiming a
new way of being, and it is soeasy to fall back.
There is such a draw to go backto what makes you want to be
(31:20):
small or afraid or those oldbelief systems are so entrenched
in there.
But when you command and make adecision to be well and to be
happy, it's amazing how thingschange when you truly let go of
those beliefs and patterns thatno longer serve you.
They may come up, they may showthemselves to you, but they do
(31:44):
not run your show anymore.
So this aligning with this newperception is this journey
statement, and the journeystatement is an action.
It's, instead of being anaffirmation, which is something
like I love myself and I love mychildren.
It would be more of an action.
As I love myself, I'm able tolove my children more fully.
(32:06):
It's moving into a trulyclaiming for yourself In the
exercise of owning andprojections.
He says to make a list of threeproblems you have, using simple
statements that focus onyourself and be sure to name the
situation rather than scribingan entire story around it.
So some of the examples are Ican't be happy when there's so
(32:27):
much sadness and injustice inthe world, and this is very
current, right.
I can't be happy when there'sso much sadness and injustice in
the world.
Another example is myex-partner is being so rotten to
me.
A third example is everything'sgoing so horribly.
No wonder I can hardly bringmyself to face another day.
And I'm just going to read whathe says.
Instead of trying to paraphrase, now own the projection and
(32:50):
explore the consequences of thethoughts, beliefs and actions
you've chosen.
Rephrase your problem in theform of when I do such and such,
this is what happens.
Please note that this is anexercise not about assigning
blame and feeling poorly aboutyourself.
The purpose is to recognizethat you're dreaming your
(33:11):
reality, you're choosing yourreality and that you can choose
a different one.
You can choose a different one.
You can choose a different one.
Although the instructions arevery clear, you might find it
difficult to understand becausethe ego is so reluctant to go
along with this exercise.
Instead of saying I can't behappy when there's so much
sadness in the world, you wouldsay when I only see sadness and
(33:35):
injustice in my life, I makemyself unhappy.
Or instead of my ex-partner isbeing so rotten to me, you would
say when I'm so rotten tomyself, I hurt myself.
Allow my ex to hurt me.
And then, the third beingeverything's going so horribly,
no wonder I can't get out of bed.
The next way of doing it iswhen I dread facing the day.
(33:57):
Everything goes poorly.
So you're actually takingresponsibility because when we
put the energy out there and wesay that everything on the
outside needs to be okay for usto be okay, we will never have
any power because we'repowerless over every single
thing around us.
This is about the world.
We're powerless about the world, the ex-partner.
(34:19):
We're powerless over ourex-partners.
Everything goes so horribly.
No wonder I can face anotherday.
That's another one.
That's like the world around meand the people around me are so
horrible.
When we take responsibility forourselves, we're owning our
projection, we're recognizingthat we're putting the energy on
them instead of on us, andwe're taking our power back.
(34:42):
So he says after you've ownedyour projections that's the part
of saying when I, when I, whenI, when I allow myself to, when
I see it this way, when I getcaught up in someone else's
issues, when I choose othersover myself, when I think that I
can't, when I right, when yousee how you're owning that
projection, you're taking yourpower back everything begins to
(35:05):
change.
So he says after you own yourprojections, turn them into a
journey statement which reflectsyour deliberate choice about
what you will think, believe anddo.
You are taking your power backto make a deliberate choice In
12 step, they say, to make adecision, and I've been thinking
(35:26):
a lot about the power of makinga decision.
When you go well, maybe I'll,maybe I'll eat better, very
different than I am choosing.
I am making a deliberatedecision to make my well-being
and my health my number one andtop priority.
And then it's very easy to noteat the sugar, to not eat the
(35:46):
carbs, if you're saying, oh, I'mnot really going to do it.
Well, maybe I might do it, Imight think about it, and then
someone shows up with somethingyummy and delicious.
Of course you're going to haveit right.
So this decision is somethingthat is so powerful.
After you own your projectionsturn into a journey statement
which reflect your deliberatechoice about what you will think
(36:08):
, believe and do, state theresults you hope to achieve.
In this form as I do such andsuch, this form as I do such and
such, this positive outcomeresults.
So this is where you're reallyusing the power of your mind,
the power of your thoughts, thepower of your creating,
co-creating, with a higher powerof your understanding, to align
(36:31):
yourself to what you arecalling to yourself.
So the example is, as I see,joy and justice around me.
I bring happiness to myself andothers as I live and practice
peace.
I share peace with myex-partner and others as I arise
each day and greet it withgusto.
Life beckons to me and all goeswell.
(36:52):
And then it says once you'veowned your projections, you'll
realize that if you could changethe external circumstances you
imagined were necessary for yourhappiness, you still wouldn't
be satisfied.
It's that recognition that evenif it all seemed perfect,
there'd still be stuff inside ofyou that needs to be worked on.
(37:14):
It's not about the rest of theworld being perfect needs to be
worked on.
It's not about the rest of theworld being perfect.
And we did this exercise at oneof the sacred circles, as I said
, and it was the only one thatRich ever came to, actually.
And it was interesting becauseI found myself checking myself
when it's just me and I'm in thestate that I get into, when I
(37:36):
move into Rev Rachel, I do ameditation, I do a prayer, I
actually move into myself and Imove Rachel over and I connect
Rev Rachel to the consciousness.
That is what I believe is theuniverse and the wisdom that
comes in and a channel opens andI'm so grateful for that
channel.
(37:56):
And so I'm in this sacredcircle and Rich is watching me
and I'm talking, and I'mnoticing that my channel is
partially closed.
And so when we did thisexercise, I said when Rich is
here, I can't be Rev Rachel.
That's so interesting, isn't itRight?
I'm putting it on him.
He's there with his eyes open,attentive, looking at me, with a
(38:20):
smile on his face, proud of meand just as happy as can be,
doesn't have a smirk.
Or even if he did, you know,it's still that awareness about
how you're letting somebody else, something, determine who you
are, because really, underneath,he's shining a light on my
piece of myself that feelsunworthy sometimes, that feels
(38:43):
like I'm in trouble or I'm notdoing something right or I'll be
judged.
That is one of my underlyingwounds.
And so then, when I moved to thenext place and I said, when I
am concerned about what hethinks about me, I block the
channel for me to open to mywisdom and the guidance from
(39:05):
spirit.
When I, when I am concernedabout what he thinks, I'm taking
my power back, I'm choosingmyself, I'm recognizing what I
see.
I'm choosing myself, I'mrecognizing what I see.
And then I moved into myjourney statement.
As I connect to my true natureand authentic self, as I connect
(39:30):
to source energy, I'm able toallow the wisdom to flow, no
matter who I'm with or where I'mat.
That's empowerment, that's thatplace that says as I choose, as
I choose.
And so this concept ofprojection is really about us
having more and more cleanawareness of the choices that we
are making, about how we'regoing to see it, how we're going
(39:54):
to let what people are doingoutside affect us and what we
are doing within ourselves.
That is then referencing outinto the world, where we're in a
mirror all the time and there'salways this opportunity to grow
and to learn.
And you might be in a situationwhere you recognize that you're
(40:15):
giving your power away so muchbecause there's pieces of you
that need and want to beattended to.
And just to recognize that youneed and want love and
connection and that this isn'thappening in this situation
might be one of the mostprofound things that you
discover when you really lookand say I'm looking for all of
(40:39):
this to be better and bedifferent.
But if I'm honest, if I look atthe neutral, if I look at the
what is this just is like thisDoes this work for me.
Or you look at it and you saythis is like this and I
recognize that I've beenlayering a bunch of expectations
(41:00):
or desires for people to besomething other than who they
are and I can start to see themfor who they are in a new way,
and that's been the example inmy life.
But I feel for those of you whoare in these deep, deep, dark
and difficult situations in yourlife that mean that you have to
truly step in the strength andthe power of who you are and
(41:23):
make choices that can be verydifficult and complicated, but I
am here to tell you you can doit.
You are so deserving of a lifethat is filled with every bit of
happiness and peace andkindness and contentment and joy
.
You are deserving of that inyour life because it is the
(41:44):
essence of who you are.
But we can stop projecting thatthey need to be a certain way
for us to be okay and we canstart claiming and saying as I
choose myself, as I choose myown soul recovery, as I choose
my own healing, as I choose myown well being, I can have the
strength to make difficultchoices.
(42:04):
I know that I have everythingthat I need to move forward and
that will line you upenergetically to the things that
are coming, that will open thedoors, that will be the
synchronicities, or those out ofthe blues or the things that
happen that are really the flowof universe, the flow of spirit.
And it isn't that everythinglines up on some golden road
(42:26):
where it's perfect, but you havethe opportunity to be more
strong in exactly who you are ateach moment, from a clean
energy that is choosing loveover fear and and letting go of
judgment and letting go ofprojection and opening fully to
forgiveness is the path tofreedom and that is the soul
(42:46):
recovery journey.
So, just to hit on the lastcouple soul recovery steps, we
did the aligning with the newperception, which is really that
journey statement.
Align with a new, healthierperception of yourself and the
world around you.
And then you deepen yourspiritual practice.
In step eight you engage in aregular spiritual practice, you
connect more and more deeply tothis incredible divine being
(43:09):
that you are.
And then step nine is shineyour light, live authentically,
live without control or judgment, embrace your true self,
accepting the world as it is.
Didn't intend to go through thenine steps today, but they are
just such a beautiful process ofus releasing that peace that
(43:30):
wants it to be different on theoutside and taking our power
back by choosing to turn withinand heal and love and get to
know ourselves for the beautythat we are.
As always.
If you need help with this, I'mhere for you, either to do
individual coaching sessionswith or you can work the steps
on your own.
Join me in a retreat, come tothe free soul recovery support
(43:54):
group once a month.
There's just so many ways to doyour soul recovery journey and
if none of those appeal to you,just keep listening to the
podcast.
It is indeed changing andshifting what's within you,
especially when you decide thatyou are worth it, and you are
worth it Until next time.
(44:32):
Namaste with being part of thatcommunity, but your subscribing
helps support this podcast andthe Recover your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
(44:56):
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
One of the core tenets of soul recovery is
the concept that to heal theworld around us, the people
around us, isn't about changingthem.
It's about turning theattention to ourselves and
recognizing that the onlycontrol that we actually have is
to heal and change ourselves,how we see it, how we're going
to show up in it, and to look atour own core wounds and our own
(00:21):
beliefs and our own patternsand be willing to do the work to
change what no longer serves usand to stop projecting our
wounds onto the world around us,but taking our power back,
taking responsibility for how weare going to interact with
everything.
Today, I end up going throughall nine steps of the soul
(00:44):
recovery process, as I sharewith you this concept of owning
your projections, which isaround taking responsibility for
how you are going to be in yourlife, how you are going to
choose to see it, and it's asense of freedom when you let go
of needing them to be a certainway for you to be okay.
Enjoy the episode.
Them to be a certain way foryou to be okay.
(01:04):
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast a spiritual path to a
happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
(01:25):
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Hi, it's Rev Rachel.
(01:46):
Welcome to the Recovery Soulpodcasting community.
I'm so grateful to have youhere today.
We are indeed learning torecover our souls, to be able to
take our power back and tolearn how to be okay when
everything around us doesn'tfeel okay, to choose a spiritual
path to a happy and healthylife, and this means that we
(02:07):
take responsibility.
It means we take responsibilityfor how we choose to see it.
It takes responsibility abouthow we choose to show up in it.
It means that we stop thinkingthat the other people around us,
everything in our life, is thereason why we are not happy, and
what I've been doing in thelast seven years on my own soul
recovery journey is deepeningthis understanding through all
(02:29):
the variety of spiritual andpsychology and even mindset
tools that are out there andthere's just so many beautiful
and enriching tools out thereand concepts, and it's about
finding what is right for you.
Your own mixture of what'sright for you and what the
mixture is for me has turnedinto soul recovery.
(02:52):
You know, I got here because Istarted in 12 step.
I got here because my life wasso, so, so miserable that I'd
gotten to that place where I hitthe wall, where I was sick and
tired of being sick and tired.
I was sick and tired of beingan alcoholic, I was sick and
tired of blaming everyone aroundme for my unhappiness and I was
sick and tired of being acodependent people pleaser.
(03:12):
And there is something reallybeautiful about being in that
state where you look around andyou say, is this it, is this
what I want, is this how it'ssupposed to be for me?
And guess what?
You have a choice.
You have a choice.
This is the piece that's sobeautiful about the new step one
in soul recovery when you'reready for awakening, when you
have that moment in time whereyou recognize that everything
(03:35):
else outside of you is what itis and that you get to choose
how you're going to interactwith it.
You're going to choose whetheryou're going to be in it, in
this relationship, in this job,in this location, but it isn't
about changing them.
It's about coming more alignedwith you, stepping more fully
into your authentic self, intoyour wholeness, into your true
(03:57):
nature of who you are, and wequit blaming.
And so today's podcast issomething that I've been wanting
to do for a while, because it'san exercise I got out of one of
the books that I've read thathas been really impactful to me,
and it's around projection.
And, first and foremost, I wantto say that projection is a
term that has a lot of differentlayers to it, and I am not a
(04:19):
psychology expert.
I'm not here to try to talkabout it in terms of, maybe,
what a therapist would talkabout it.
In and in everything that I say, please understand that I am
filtering it through my ownperception, which actually,
interesting enough, is kind ofwhat a projection is right.
So I'm projecting onto thescreen of my movie of the world
(04:42):
of life, the way that it filtersthrough me.
But I want to share with youthese tools that I'm learning,
and so the concepts that I'mtalking about, and even as I use
the word projection, take itlightly, because if you're
somebody out there who's reallyintellectual and you're like no,
no, no, no, no, no.
This is Freud had.
Projection is one of the defensemechanisms and he labeled it as
(05:03):
such and such.
Okay, that is true, but we arehere to look at it from a soul
recovery vantage point, a way oflooking at how we can take our
power back and be in our ownlife Without this concept that
we think that it's happening tous.
Life is happening for us andnot to us.
(05:23):
And the more that we stand inthis place, it says, I get to
decide.
In step one in soul recovery,it says recognize your suffering
.
Become aware that yourdissatisfaction and suffering is
caused by your currentperceptions, beliefs, patterns,
stories.
It's caused by how it currentlyis running through your
operating system, andacknowledge the need for change.
(05:46):
Understand that this awarenessis the first step towards
awakening and transformation.
This is the first step towardshealing, and owning your
projections is a profound way oftaking your power back.
(06:09):
Taking your power back, you know, my story is that for so much
of my marriage, my projectionwas that Rich and his behavior
and his actions and who he was,and his alcoholism was the
problem.
And in the midst of that I'mprojecting, that my happiness is
based on his well-being.
Well, the truth was that I hada whole bunch of stuff going on.
I had a whole bunch of thingsthat I needed to look at.
(06:31):
I had a whole bunch of unhealedwounds.
I had a whole bunch ofexpectations.
I had a way that I thought thatit was all supposed to be.
I had my own defense mechanisms.
I had my own character flaws,my own defense mechanisms.
I had my own character flaws, Ihad my own wounding, I had my
own stuff, and instead of mebeing in my life and working on
(06:55):
my stuff, I was projecting myunhappiness on him and saying,
if he would be different, I'd bebetter.
So I want to talk about thisfrom the spiritual vantage point
and again, as always, take whatyou like, take what you need,
take what aligns with you, whatyou feel is giving you a tool,
and process it in your ownjourney of healing, and if it
doesn't align with you and itdoesn't seem to resonate, just
(07:18):
let it go.
Take what you need and leavethe rest.
I want to talk about this fromtwo books, and I have read so
many spiritual books and I'm sograteful for the chance that I
have to actually deepen thisrelationship so much, and I'm
sure there's actually moreplaces that I've gotten these
concepts from, but these are thetwo that are in my hand right
(07:42):
now that I've been going through.
You know that the Course inMiracles is huge for me, and
it's something that I did aboutright after I got sober actually
maybe less than a year, no,about a year after I got sober,
because I was really in the 12steps for that first year.
And, of course, the Miracles,which is a channeled work, and
again, I want your spiritualitybe yours.
(08:03):
I'm always sharing with you myspiritual experience, but I'm
not trying to tell you what todo spiritually, even as a
metaphysical minister.
I just want to present you withinformation and, if it
resonates with you, go with itand learn more about it.
So the Course in Miracles wasthis really incredible text, and
what I got out of it the mostwas this part of us that is
(08:27):
constantly judging and thatjudgment is suffering, because
the judgment is this desire forus to protect ourselves, and if
we can judge, either for good orfor somebody being bad, then we
can have certainty.
We can try to figure it all out, but we're putting them as the
other.
That's duality and spirituality.
(08:49):
There's a concept of dualityversus the oneness right and in
the duality it's like theoutside, the other, the they
versus the wholeness of all.
And when you stop judging, youactually can be more present
with what is.
You can be in a neutral stateand recognize that everything
(09:11):
that we're judging good or bad,is actually the process of how
it's going through our own minds, through our own belief systems
.
And that's the power of soulrecovery, which is this, this
understanding that of course wehave beliefs and patterns and
systems.
Of course we do.
That's what our brains do.
Our brains are like littlecomputers and from the moment
(09:31):
that you were born, you arefiguring out the world.
I'm looking at my littlegrandson's pictures.
He's four weeks old now and hehas this little inquisitive,
grumpy face right Because hehasn't started smiling yet.
And I'm just looking at him andI'm having this visualization
(09:53):
of his brain and his soul comingtogether and starting to like
figure out the world.
And he's already figured outthings like if I'm hungry, I cry
, and then I get picked up and Iget attention.
If I want attention, I cry.
Right now he's in a place wherehe just wants contact naps.
He just wants to nurse and hewants contact naps.
(10:14):
He doesn't want to be laid down, he wants to be with you all
the time.
Well, he's figuring that out.
This is our computer system inour brains that figures out how
to get our needs met, and thenhe's making decisions Is it safe
here, is it unsafe here?
And it only grows from there asour brains begin to expand.
And you know me, I'm in the woo.
(10:35):
So I think that our souls andour spirits are part of that and
they're awakening within uswith how our brains begin to
develop.
But of course they develop withprotective mechanisms.
Of course they set up systemsAside from the wisdom of the
universe.
When we tap into that space, ittakes a long time for us to
(10:58):
even open up those channels.
But when you're a human being,in your body you're creating
your own operating system thatis based on the experiences in
which you have.
So every single thing that yousee, every single thing that you
do, every single thing that youinteract with is a product of
you focusing and having thatmove through this system that is
(11:21):
in your brain that has allthese experiences, this system
that is in your brain that hasall these experiences.
Everything that we see is aproduct of how we choose to see
it, how we choose to be with it,and that actually means that
you have control over yourexperience.
We're powerless over everysingle thing outside of ourself.
That's step two in soulrecovery to truly understand
(11:43):
that we are powerless, not froma place of weakness, but from a
place of freedom and release.
You are not in control ofanything outside of you, nor
should you, nor do you want tobe.
That you have control of you,that you have control of how
you're going to see it.
You have control of how itfeels to you.
You have control of what you're, and that allows us to be in
(12:11):
what is from a more empoweredspace, and this concept of
projection, where we're puttingon somebody else, how we feel.
Now, absolutely, when people sayor do things that are unkind,
there are things.
There's no doubt that peopleare showing up in ways that are
(12:31):
not well, no doubt.
There's no doubt that peopleare showing up in ways that are
not well, no doubt.
So I'm never saying thatsomeone is not coming at you or
you don't deal with things thatare incredibly painful,
incredibly difficult, but atevery moment we are being
invited, we're being offered theability to choose how we're
going to interact with it, howwe're going to see it.
Am I going to project mywoundedness and my lack and my
(12:54):
fear into that situation, or amI going to interact with it how
we're going to see it?
Am I going to project mywoundedness and my lack and my
fear into that situation, or amI going to actually look at
those aspects of myself and becurious and say why do I want to
blame rich for everything?
What is that within me?
Oh, I have a belief system.
I have a part of myself.
This is step three in soulrecovery.
(13:14):
Who knew that we're going to begoing through all the steps
today In soul recovery?
Then, in step three, we'relooking at what are these belief
, stories and patterns that areunderneath.
This is what Carl Jung broughtabout in the shadow self, this
concept that we, of course, weall have these shadow parts.
Self, this concept that we, ofcourse, we all have these shadow
(13:36):
parts.
And the shadow parts want tostay hidden, they want to hide,
they don't want to come out.
So they use all these tools andstories and patterns and
beliefs to protect themselves,and so much of it is protecting
a core wound, and most of ourcore wounds are based around
being unlovable and unworthy.
It's so tender to me, so tenderto me, that if you really were
(14:05):
to have all of us come togetherand have clarity and
authenticity about what thatreal core belief is underneath,
clarity and authenticity aboutwhat that real core belief is
underneath that got set up byhurts and disappointments or or
trauma, that there's somethingunderneath that we all are
terrified that we're not enoughsomehow, that there's something
(14:26):
wrong with us.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on Zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
(14:46):
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the nine
step soul recovery process, I'mhere for you.
But you can also choose to workthe steps on your own, with
individual modules intended tosupport you, to work at your own
pace and on your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
(15:07):
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people,
sharing soul recovery tips forus and also do spiritual book
studies.
You can also find DailyInspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode.
(15:29):
I think I may have said this inthe last podcast, having just
done four days of Tony Robbins.
I think I may have said this inthe last podcast, having just
done four days of Tony Robbinsthere was just so much evidence
of thousands and thousands andthousands of people on this, on
this particular virtual summitright, that are all experiencing
the same thing, and I know thatthat's, that's mine too, and so
(15:51):
that's a projection.
When we don't feel like we'reenough, of course we're.
That is going through oursystem and then projecting out
into the world around us.
And Brene Brown famously hassaid you will find what you're
looking for.
You will find what you'relooking for.
If you're looking for somebodyto tell you that you're not
enough, guess what?
You will absolutely find peoplewho will tell you you're not
(16:12):
enough.
And if you look for people whowill tell you how wonderful and
beautiful and whole you are, youwill resonate that with that.
You will find that.
And here we are in soulrecovery.
We got here because we it wasmessy.
It was messy and hard anduncomfortable and something
happened right.
Maybe you have someone in yourlife who is really struggling
(16:34):
with addiction, or maybe you'rereally realizing that your
codependent behaviors are reallykeeping you from being in
healthy relationships.
Or maybe you just found thispodcast because spirit gave it
to you.
I love the stories where peoplecome to me for coaching and I
say so, how'd you find thepodcast?
You know, and how can I helpyou?
And they're like I have no idea.
(16:54):
I have no idea.
I was on Spotify, I was onApple and you just came up.
That is divine.
That is that guidance that justsays you're in a place where
something is there working foryou, because we are not here
without that guidance ofspirituality.
I am so grateful to be on thisspiritual path.
(17:15):
So this place where we are isus taking our power back.
We're starting to recognize thetruth around these principles.
So the two books that I have inmy hand right now the first one
is called the Four InsightsWisdom, power and Grace of the
earth keepers, by Alberto Valado, and this book was used by my,
(17:38):
my local sacred circle that wedo.
We used to do it every monthlast year and this year we're
doing it every other month, andit's the first Saturday and it's
a morning.
And for last year we did twobooks.
We did a Wayne Dyer book andthen we did this one, the
Alberto Valado book, and what Ilove about this book is that it
(18:00):
had so many beautiful aspects ofwhat I've learned in so many
other places.
This is the thing, when youstart reading so much content
that you realize it all isspeaking the same language, that
you realize it all is speakingthe same language.
It's all speaking about love,wholeness, forgiveness, letting
(18:23):
go of judgment, letting go ofthis heaviness that we have,
that we feel responsible foreverybody, and coming into our
own, being selfish enough to doour own spiritual work.
It all is speaking the samelanguage, about connecting to
something even greater still.
And even if you read the Biblefrom a metaphysical
interpretation, it's saying thesame stuff too, right?
So it's really this concept ofreally noticing that the truth
(18:47):
is filtering through.
To choose love and not fear thatwas the main tenet of the
Course in Miracles, too.
To choose love and not fear.
That was the main tenet of theCourse in Miracles, too, to
choose love and not fear.
So Alberto Valado is a man whodiscovered shamanism and has
studied through a whole bunch ofother things.
He has a bunch of books.
He's really good, anyway, and Iwon't even begin to go into
(19:08):
this book, but he had a sectionin the back that was around
owning your projections, andthat's the model that we're
going to do.
And then the other one is thatI just recently started reading
A Way of Mastery, which isanother channeled work, similar
to how the Course in Miracles isa channeled work.
And again, you know, takewhatever you believe about any
(19:29):
of those things, it's fine, butwhat it says in the first line
of the projection section isnothing you experience has been
caused by anything outside ofyou.
Now, a few years ago, more thana few years ago, when I first
started my journey of soulrecovery, seven years ago, that
(19:50):
was a really hard concept.
That was a really hard conceptfor me to get, because I was so
stuck in that deep belief thatwe have that, that this wasn't
mine, that this was because myfamily were a bunch of addicts,
that my sons were ADHD and werefalling into their own issues,
(20:11):
that my husband was the way thathe was, that you know, my jobs
were the way that they were.
The people that I worked withwere the people that they were,
that everything that Iexperienced was because of them.
But the more spirituality I'vedone, the more clarity I have is
that the reality in which isinside your soul, the peace in
which is inside your soul, willreflect out.
(20:34):
That's such a tenet of soulrecovery.
To do your inner work to changeexternal circumstances, you must
turn the attention to yourselfand your own healing.
That is a foundational piece ofsoul recovery and it means that
you actually takeresponsibility.
You take responsibility to workon your inside, to work your
(20:57):
shadow, as Carl Jung would say.
So another line says the way toheal the world is not by
seeking to change what is on theoutside, but by first changing
what's on the inside.
And it says projection is anact of trying to get rid of what
you do not want within.
So if I don't feel worthy, if Idon't feel innately and this is
(21:19):
all subconscious a lot of timeswe don't even really know that
there's a limiting belief we'relike.
But I'm working hard in mybusiness and I have goals and I
have this clarity of who I amand what I want.
But if you have a subconscious,underlying core wound that's
been hiding in there, it getsstuck in that projection that
(21:41):
you don't even know isprojecting and keeping you stuck
.
That's the part that's soincredibly fascinating about
that is that when we project toothers why we're not being
successful, why this isn'thappening, why my relationship
isn't happening, we're puttingthe energy outside instead of
looking at what we could learnmore on the inside.
(22:02):
There's a lot of learning thatI'm seeing for myself that makes
me understand how deep it is tobe in judgment, how deep it is
to want things to be different,how deep it is to be
dissatisfied with the world andthe people around us right To be
pissed at the cars or the waythat the politics are going, or
(22:24):
you know all these things thatare happening.
Why can't my kids get ittogether?
Why can't my husband be likethis?
Why can't my wife be like this?
Why is?
Why is it this way that it is?
And you've heard me time andtime again come back to the
place that says you have controlof nothing outside of yourself,
but you have control of what'sinside of you and you can start
(22:46):
asking yourself am I judging?
Why am I judging this?
What?
What's happening?
If you've ever had any desire todo the steps, I have the first
four steps on the website andthey're like being in a session
with me.
There are videos that includeguided meditation and working
through the steps and reallyworking on this powerlessness.
Because step two, where youreally have clarity and the
(23:11):
freedom that you can feel ofstop trying to control
everything around you, is soprofound.
It just changes everything andit helps with the projection.
It helps with that part thatyou want to make them be a
certain way.
I want to go to the RobertoValado book and he says to own
your projections, you must firstdiscover and acknowledge the
(23:33):
parts of yourself that you'verefused to look at, to heal.
This goes back to the soulrecovery process.
In the soul recovery process,you know we've talked about step
one, two and three now, andthen the process is about being
ready to truly look at.
What are these beliefs, whatare these patterns, these
stories that are running myoperating system?
(23:54):
Can I then step four connect toa higher power, recognize that
I'm part of something bigger,more than just this body?
Here I am connected to sourceI'm connected to everything it's
the oneness that I talked aboutand then to be willing to look
at the patterns and be willingto let them go.
Most of us have been doing thisfor so long living from these
(24:17):
limiting, painful woundedness,this trying to control the world
around us and everybody aroundus that it's pretty scary to
think about letting that go andto changing our belief systems
and opening up to a new way ofbeing.
We've been using the same toolsfor a long time.
When you have awareness thatthese patterns, beliefs and
(24:38):
stories have given you something, that you have learned from
them they have been part of yourcurriculum of life on earth
school, as I call it that you'vegained something from it, that
it's giving you insight intothose shadow pieces to let them
go.
But you're ready to change.
You're ready to release oldpatterns that no longer serve
you and then you embrace newones.
(25:00):
What is a healthier way ofbeing If I'm not projecting, if
I'm actually in that space oftruly connecting to my true
nature and being in the world asit is?
Neutral, more neutral thingsthat are happening around us are
just neutral.
It's what we decide that theyare, that make them good or bad.
It's that judgment.
(25:21):
It is just happening and someof the stuff that is happening
is really complex and difficult.
But if you have a situationsuch as somebody's an addict and
they are in the depths of theiraddiction and they are making
choices that are horrendous,horrendous choices, that is an
(25:42):
is for them and we can attach toit a whole bunch of stories
about what they're doing to us.
And if they would do, if theywould be a certain way, then we
could be okay.
And there are real consequences, real boots on the ground,
things that have to be done.
Maybe it's a separation, maybeit's, you know, a safer place to
(26:04):
live.
All of those are real lifesituations.
But we are determining everystep of the way whether we're
projecting how we feel, who wethink we are, what they're doing
to us in those situations.
And the healthier you get andthe more you step into the
wholeness of who you are, themore that you have the ability
(26:25):
to see them as struggling, tosee them in their own journey,
their own experience, and tohave the sadness that might come
around how your life is goingto change, to be disappointed,
to have your heart broken.
But those are not actuallycoming from those patterns and
beliefs and stories that arekeeping you stuck.
(26:46):
That's actually standing in thetruth of who you are.
That's giving you control overwho you are and how you're going
to show up, because they can'tmake you feel any way.
They can provide you anopportunity to witness and see
just like they're feeling thesame way.
There are a lot of addictsaddicts in their depths of their
(27:09):
disease, are selfish, selfish,selfish.
They can't see that anything isnot a projection.
They are so in a projectionthat their lives are so horrible
because of everything andeveryone and no one has been
there.
And it is a quintessentialspace of somebody, in the depths
(27:29):
of their own darkness, thatthey can't look at themselves.
So they project it out and thenthey're using a substance
alcohol and many drugs orsubstances that it doesn't
matter.
Eventually it will become anaddiction because of what it
does to your body.
So it's this very difficultsituation that people can be in,
(27:50):
but if you look at it from aneutral space, everyone's in it,
in their own place, and you'retaking your power back by being
in it for you.
So this concept that AlbertoValado talks about in owning
your projections, is about beingwilling to recognize that
everything is a reflection forus to see better for ourselves.
(28:12):
Everything is a reflection tostop saying they're the problem
and start saying what am I goingto do about it for me?
Not that you're going to changethem, not even that if you do
this work so well, so intently,so beautifully, so fully, that
you will magically, miraculouslychange and sprinkle stardust
(28:35):
over everybody around you andeverything will be great for
them.
Maybe it will not, and maybe,just maybe, your profound
changes in yourself will be alight and a beacon of hope for
others to make choices forthemselves, because you're
handing them the responsibilityof their own life and you're not
(28:55):
accepting their projectionseither.
And that is power.
That's power to be okay evenwhen everyone around you is not
okay, and it's power to reflectback to them.
You're not taking theirunhealthy projections, you're
allowing it to be a mirror, butyou're standing firm and with
boundaries in your own way ofbeing.
(29:16):
Standing firm and withboundaries in your own way of
being.
So this concept of looking atand doing your own shadow work
means that you're seeing thatthere's benefit in looking at
these parts of ourselves, tolove yourself completely for
everything, even the darkestshadow.
One of the things that Albertosays is you project every aspect
of your shadow onto the world,be it positive or negative, and
(29:40):
the universe is so fluid that itwill arrange itself to
accommodate all of yourprojections and prove you right
every time.
Right that piece where, if wewant to see beauty and happiness
and good, we're going to getthat, we're going to have more
of that.
And if we're seeing thatnothing ever works and this is
scary and terrible we're goingto get that.
We're going to have more ofthat.
And if we're seeing thatnothing ever works and this is
scary and terrible we're goingto get more of that.
(30:01):
And it isn't a reward or apunishment system.
It's a an incredible part ofhow spirituality and the laws of
spirituality speak above, where, when we align and take
responsibility for ourself andwhatever that frequency is, we
will align with that frequency,because it is the nature of how
(30:24):
science works.
It's the nature of how theuniverse works.
So you get to choose.
(30:58):
No-transcript journey statement.
You are claiming, you aremaking a decision and claiming a
new way of being, and it is soeasy to fall back.
There is such a draw to go backto what makes you want to be
(31:20):
small or afraid or those oldbelief systems are so entrenched
in there.
But when you command and make adecision to be well and to be
happy, it's amazing how thingschange when you truly let go of
those beliefs and patterns thatno longer serve you.
They may come up, they may showthemselves to you, but they do
(31:44):
not run your show anymore.
So this aligning with this newperception is this journey
statement, and the journeystatement is an action.
It's, instead of being anaffirmation, which is something
like I love myself and I love mychildren.
It would be more of an action.
As I love myself, I'm able tolove my children more fully.
(32:06):
It's moving into a trulyclaiming for yourself In the
exercise of owning andprojections.
He says to make a list of threeproblems you have, using simple
statements that focus onyourself and be sure to name the
situation rather than scribingan entire story around it.
So some of the examples are Ican't be happy when there's so
(32:27):
much sadness and injustice inthe world, and this is very
current, right.
I can't be happy when there'sso much sadness and injustice in
the world.
Another example is myex-partner is being so rotten to
me.
A third example is everything'sgoing so horribly.
No wonder I can hardly bringmyself to face another day.
And I'm just going to read whathe says.
Instead of trying to paraphrase, now own the projection and
(32:50):
explore the consequences of thethoughts, beliefs and actions
you've chosen.
Rephrase your problem in theform of when I do such and such,
this is what happens.
Please note that this is anexercise not about assigning
blame and feeling poorly aboutyourself.
The purpose is to recognizethat you're dreaming your
(33:11):
reality, you're choosing yourreality and that you can choose
a different one.
You can choose a different one.
You can choose a different one.
Although the instructions arevery clear, you might find it
difficult to understand becausethe ego is so reluctant to go
along with this exercise.
Instead of saying I can't behappy when there's so much
sadness in the world, you wouldsay when I only see sadness and
(33:35):
injustice in my life, I makemyself unhappy.
Or instead of my ex-partner isbeing so rotten to me, you would
say when I'm so rotten tomyself, I hurt myself.
Allow my ex to hurt me.
And then, the third beingeverything's going so horribly,
no wonder I can't get out of bed.
The next way of doing it iswhen I dread facing the day.
(33:57):
Everything goes poorly.
So you're actually takingresponsibility because when we
put the energy out there and wesay that everything on the
outside needs to be okay for usto be okay, we will never have
any power because we'repowerless over every single
thing around us.
This is about the world.
We're powerless about the world, the ex-partner.
(34:19):
We're powerless over ourex-partners.
Everything goes so horribly.
No wonder I can face anotherday.
That's another one.
That's like the world around meand the people around me are so
horrible.
When we take responsibility forourselves, we're owning our
projection, we're recognizingthat we're putting the energy on
them instead of on us, andwe're taking our power back.
(34:42):
So he says after you've ownedyour projections that's the part
of saying when I, when I, whenI, when I allow myself to, when
I see it this way, when I getcaught up in someone else's
issues, when I choose othersover myself, when I think that I
can't, when I right, when yousee how you're owning that
projection, you're taking yourpower back everything begins to
(35:05):
change.
So he says after you own yourprojections, turn them into a
journey statement which reflectsyour deliberate choice about
what you will think, believe anddo.
You are taking your power backto make a deliberate choice In
12 step, they say, to make adecision, and I've been thinking
(35:26):
a lot about the power of makinga decision.
When you go well, maybe I'll,maybe I'll eat better, very
different than I am choosing.
I am making a deliberatedecision to make my well-being
and my health my number one andtop priority.
And then it's very easy to noteat the sugar, to not eat the
(35:46):
carbs, if you're saying, oh, I'mnot really going to do it.
Well, maybe I might do it, Imight think about it, and then
someone shows up with somethingyummy and delicious.
Of course you're going to haveit right.
So this decision is somethingthat is so powerful.
After you own your projectionsturn into a journey statement
which reflect your deliberatechoice about what you will think
(36:08):
, believe and do, state theresults you hope to achieve.
In this form as I do such andsuch, this form as I do such and
such, this positive outcomeresults.
So this is where you're reallyusing the power of your mind,
the power of your thoughts, thepower of your creating,
co-creating, with a higher powerof your understanding, to align
(36:31):
yourself to what you arecalling to yourself.
So the example is, as I see,joy and justice around me.
I bring happiness to myself andothers as I live and practice
peace.
I share peace with myex-partner and others as I arise
each day and greet it withgusto.
Life beckons to me and all goeswell.
(36:52):
And then it says once you'veowned your projections, you'll
realize that if you could changethe external circumstances you
imagined were necessary for yourhappiness, you still wouldn't
be satisfied.
It's that recognition that evenif it all seemed perfect,
there'd still be stuff inside ofyou that needs to be worked on.
(37:14):
It's not about the rest of theworld being perfect needs to be
worked on.
It's not about the rest of theworld being perfect.
And we did this exercise at oneof the sacred circles, as I said
, and it was the only one thatRich ever came to, actually.
And it was interesting becauseI found myself checking myself
when it's just me and I'm in thestate that I get into, when I
(37:36):
move into Rev Rachel, I do ameditation, I do a prayer, I
actually move into myself and Imove Rachel over and I connect
Rev Rachel to the consciousness.
That is what I believe is theuniverse and the wisdom that
comes in and a channel opens andI'm so grateful for that
channel.
(37:56):
And so I'm in this sacredcircle and Rich is watching me
and I'm talking, and I'mnoticing that my channel is
partially closed.
And so when we did thisexercise, I said when Rich is
here, I can't be Rev Rachel.
That's so interesting, isn't itRight?
I'm putting it on him.
He's there with his eyes open,attentive, looking at me, with a
(38:20):
smile on his face, proud of meand just as happy as can be,
doesn't have a smirk.
Or even if he did, you know,it's still that awareness about
how you're letting somebody else, something, determine who you
are, because really, underneath,he's shining a light on my
piece of myself that feelsunworthy sometimes, that feels
(38:43):
like I'm in trouble or I'm notdoing something right or I'll be
judged.
That is one of my underlyingwounds.
And so then, when I moved to thenext place and I said, when I
am concerned about what hethinks about me, I block the
channel for me to open to mywisdom and the guidance from
(39:05):
spirit.
When I, when I am concernedabout what he thinks, I'm taking
my power back, I'm choosingmyself, I'm recognizing what I
see.
I'm choosing myself, I'mrecognizing what I see.
And then I moved into myjourney statement.
As I connect to my true natureand authentic self, as I connect
(39:30):
to source energy, I'm able toallow the wisdom to flow, no
matter who I'm with or where I'mat.
That's empowerment, that's thatplace that says as I choose, as
I choose.
And so this concept ofprojection is really about us
having more and more cleanawareness of the choices that we
are making, about how we'regoing to see it, how we're going
(39:54):
to let what people are doingoutside affect us and what we
are doing within ourselves.
That is then referencing outinto the world, where we're in a
mirror all the time and there'salways this opportunity to grow
and to learn.
And you might be in a situationwhere you recognize that you're
(40:15):
giving your power away so muchbecause there's pieces of you
that need and want to beattended to.
And just to recognize that youneed and want love and
connection and that this isn'thappening in this situation
might be one of the mostprofound things that you
discover when you really lookand say I'm looking for all of
(40:39):
this to be better and bedifferent.
But if I'm honest, if I look atthe neutral, if I look at the
what is this just is like thisDoes this work for me.
Or you look at it and you saythis is like this and I
recognize that I've beenlayering a bunch of expectations
(41:00):
or desires for people to besomething other than who they
are and I can start to see themfor who they are in a new way,
and that's been the example inmy life.
But I feel for those of you whoare in these deep, deep, dark
and difficult situations in yourlife that mean that you have to
truly step in the strength andthe power of who you are and
(41:23):
make choices that can be verydifficult and complicated, but I
am here to tell you you can doit.
You are so deserving of a lifethat is filled with every bit of
happiness and peace andkindness and contentment and joy
.
You are deserving of that inyour life because it is the
(41:44):
essence of who you are.
But we can stop projecting thatthey need to be a certain way
for us to be okay and we canstart claiming and saying as I
choose myself, as I choose myown soul recovery, as I choose
my own healing, as I choose myown well being, I can have the
strength to make difficultchoices.
(42:04):
I know that I have everythingthat I need to move forward and
that will line you upenergetically to the things that
are coming, that will open thedoors, that will be the
synchronicities, or those out ofthe blues or the things that
happen that are really the flowof universe, the flow of spirit.
And it isn't that everythinglines up on some golden road
(42:26):
where it's perfect, but you havethe opportunity to be more
strong in exactly who you are ateach moment, from a clean
energy that is choosing loveover fear and and letting go of
judgment and letting go ofprojection and opening fully to
forgiveness is the path tofreedom and that is the soul
(42:46):
recovery journey.
So, just to hit on the lastcouple soul recovery steps, we
did the aligning with the newperception, which is really that
journey statement.
Align with a new, healthierperception of yourself and the
world around you.
And then you deepen yourspiritual practice.
In step eight you engage in aregular spiritual practice, you
connect more and more deeply tothis incredible divine being
(43:09):
that you are.
And then step nine is shineyour light, live authentically,
live without control or judgment, embrace your true self,
accepting the world as it is.
Didn't intend to go through thenine steps today, but they are
just such a beautiful process ofus releasing that peace that
(43:30):
wants it to be different on theoutside and taking our power
back by choosing to turn withinand heal and love and get to
know ourselves for the beautythat we are.
As always.
If you need help with this, I'mhere for you, either to do
individual coaching sessionswith or you can work the steps
on your own.
Join me in a retreat, come tothe free soul recovery support
(43:54):
group once a month.
There's just so many ways to doyour soul recovery journey and
if none of those appeal to you,just keep listening to the
podcast.
It is indeed changing andshifting what's within you,
especially when you decide thatyou are worth it, and you are
worth it Until next time.
(44:32):
Namaste with being part of thatcommunity, but your subscribing
helps support this podcast andthe Recover your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
(44:56):
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!