January 27, 2025 • 37 mins
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In this episode Rev. Rachel Harrison reflects on the delicate balance between needing others and maintaining independence. Inspired by today’s reading from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, Rev Rachel explores how codependency and control show up in sneaky ways in our lives. When life feels out of control, we often lean into patterns of over-controlling or shutting people out, but true healing comes when we can let go of these defense mechanisms and open ourselves to authentic, healthy relationships.
Join Rachel as she shares insights from her own journey, the transformative power of Soul Recovery, and how releasing the need to control allows us to take our power back and step into a life of connection, love, and inner peace. Whether you’re struggling with being overly dependent on others or keeping people at a distance, this episode will h
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
This episode started as an
inspiration by reading today'sreading out of the Language of
Letting Go Daily Meditations onCodependency by Melody Beatty,
and the reading was aroundneeding people.
Sometimes we lean too far inthe being overly needy and
sometimes we lean on the otherdirection of not allowing
anybody in.
(00:20):
It is a reflection aroundcodependency and it's a
reflection around soul recoveryand our concept of control that
sometimes, when we feel so outof control, we swing into the
direction of over-controlling insneaky ways that we didn't even
realize.
How can we have people in ourlives in a healthy way?
(00:42):
How can we allow people inwithout being in control?
That's what we're going to talkabout today.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast a spiritual path to a
happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
(01:04):
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
(01:26):
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast and community.
I'm Rev Rachel and I am just asalways I say this every time,
but it's so true.
I just am so grateful thatwe're all here together.
It just means so much to methat you are choosing to spend
(01:47):
your time with me.
It is this incredible knowingthat you're not here by mistake
and that these stories that Ishare, this nine steps recovery
process that has become such atransformative piece of my life
and has now become such atransformative piece of so many
other people's lives, I justfeel the strength of this
community more and more and moreevery day, with such gratitude,
(02:12):
such enormous gratitude foreach and every one of you.
So thanks for showing up,thanks for doing your work,
thank you for choosing you,thank you for showing up to say,
hey, I want something differentin my life.
I am ready to take my powerback, I am ready to take control
back in my life and I want toknow how to do steps to get
(02:34):
there.
I want to know how I can choosemyself.
I'm ready to let go of what nolonger serves me.
This is a powerful moment whenyou can do this to take your
power back.
You know one of my mainfoundations of what I teach is
around control, and it'sfascinating to me how it's all
(02:54):
come around, because it wasn'tsomething that I even registered
that I did.
I thought I was helping, Ithought I was taking care of, I
thought I was fixing, I thoughtit was my personal job to make
sure that everybody was okay,that everything was okay.
It had been ingrained in mefrom my childhood.
Whatever our life'scircumstances are is what the
(03:17):
definitions are for it, but itgenerally has this definition of
being over demanding or toreally be putting upon other
people to make other people dowhat you want them to do right.
(03:41):
It has this heavy hand to it.
You want them to do right.
It has this heavy hand to it.
And what we're offering in soulrecovery is we're actually
saying that this is sneaky, thatit's something that we don't
even recognize that is happeningin our life, and when we are
trying to control everythingaround us because we think that
(04:01):
it will make it better for thepeople around us, what we're
really saying is, if everythingelse could be or feel better
than we would feel better.
And, in the end, what we'relearning in soul recovery is how
to take control of your life,not how to control their life.
We're making a switch that wedidn't even know needed
(04:25):
switching.
How do I take control back inmy life?
I've lost control.
It feels out of control.
I feel like everything isspinning out of control and when
we recognize that we've beenplaying a part in that by trying
to fix it, by trying to changeit, by trying to force it, then
(04:53):
we get off of the crazy ridethat is around control.
I know that I talk aboutcontrol so much, but it is such
a really sneaky, sneaky littlething that happens in our lives
that continues to come back andremind me and show me more and
more about how I was showing upin my life before, how I'm
continuing to show up in my lifetoday, how it continues to
offer me these beautiful momentsof grace where I recognize that
(05:16):
it's really giving me thesemarkers to deepen my
relationship with myself, toturn within, and every time I'm
learning a new spiritualsomething.
You know me, I'm just alwayssoaking in teachings and
learning more and going downmore rabbit holes, and it's
(05:37):
really giving me more solidityaround this truth that we can
indeed let go, that we canindeed hand it over, that we can
indeed move into a space offaith and trust, and we talked a
lot in the last couple weeksaround some of these concepts
(05:59):
and what I think is important isthat we allow ourselves to let
it unlayer.
Is important is that we allowourselves to let it unlayer.
You know what do they say in 12step when you get into the rooms
of AA is it took you a longtime to get this far down the
drunk road.
You know we don't wake up oneday and have a drink most of us
and have it just completely gooff the rails from the first day
(06:22):
.
That's not how that usuallystarts out.
It usually starts out being asolution.
It's a solution to feeling good.
It's a solution to having fun.
It's a solution to a reward atthe end of the day, it's a
solution to numbing out some ofthe pain.
That solution continues being asolution until it no longer is
(06:42):
providing you with that samecomfort.
Well, in a way, we're the samewith control, with this need for
us to want to manipulate,maneuver, manage, mother, all of
those things that.
It was a slow and steadyprocess, just like my becoming a
full on drunk.
I didn't start that way, but bythe time I started drinking
(07:07):
when I was 21 years old andearnest to the time I was 48,
when I quit.
That was a lot of years and alot of different levels of
trying to have that solution fixwhat ended up being my broken
heart.
It was the part of me that wasout of control.
Right, we're trying to find away to feel okay in a world that
(07:31):
feels really unmanageable.
One of the things that I thinkis important in soul recovery
that I hope that I'm impressingupon you on a regular basis is
that we actually have a lot morechoice than we think.
We have so much more choicethan we were told that was in
our minds, and that choice isnot about them.
(07:55):
It's about you.
That question of how do I getback control of my life, how do
I control my life?
How do I find a way to make allof this better?
How do I change what feels sodifficult and painful to me?
The answer is to stop trying tochange it, to stop trying to
(08:15):
control the outside, to stoptrying to make other people be a
certain way or to change thoseinteractions within your
relationships.
But it's not about being small.
As I said that last sentence, Icould feel that feeling around
not having other people in yourlife be a certain way, but those
(08:36):
people in your life, you needthem.
You need them and you want them.
You actually want themdesperately in your life to show
up for you.
And today my original thoughtwas that I would read out of the
Language of Letting Go byMelody Beatty for today, which
is the day that we are airingthis particular episode, which
is January 27.
And as I close my eyes, as Ialways do, and started talking,
(09:00):
what came out before is whatcame out.
What I think is so fascinatingabout this control is that so
much of it has this piece ofwhat we need and want from
people, and this is what we'vebeen talking about actually this
year so far.
How do you allow yourself to bein your dreaming, how do you
allow yourself to want for moreand not control at the same time
(09:24):
?
So I'm going to actually goback to my original thought,
which is to read out of today'sreading of Melody Beatty's the
Language of Letting Go DailyMeditations on Codependency,
because I actually think that itplays into really beautifully
this awareness that the morethat we release the need for
others to change, the more thatwe actually step into the
(09:47):
wholeness of ourselves and canbe in more healthy and intimate
and connected and reallyvulnerable and authentic
relationships with everyonearound us, especially when we
allow it to be whatever it isand quit living in a fantasy.
So I'm just going to read thefull reading for today and then
(10:10):
I will reflect on it in the soulrecovery perspective.
Okay, so it's called needingpeople.
We can find balance betweenneeding people too much and not
letting ourselves need anyone atall.
Many of us have unmetdependency needs lingering from
the past.
While we want others to fulfillour desire to be loved
(10:30):
unconditionally from the past,while we want others to fulfill
our desire to be lovedunconditionally, we may have
chosen people who cannot or willnot be there for us.
Some of us are so needy fromnot being loved that we drive
people away by needing them toomuch.
Some of us go to the otherextreme.
We may have become used topeople not being there for us,
so we push them away.
We fight off our feeling ofneediness by becoming overly
(10:53):
independent, not allowingourselves to need anyone.
Some of us won't let people bethere for us at all.
Either way, we're living outunfinished business.
We deserve better.
When we change, ourcircumstances will change.
If we're too needy, we respondto that by accepting that needy
(11:15):
part of us.
We let ourselves heal from thepain of the past and all those
needs that were unmet, and westop telling ourselves that
we're unlovable because wehaven't been loved the way that
we wanted and needed.
If we've shut off the part ofus that needs people, we become
willing to open up, bevulnerable, let ourselves be
(11:36):
loved.
We, let ourselves have needs.
We will get the love we needand desire when we begin to
believe we're lovable and whenwe allow that to happen.
And her meditation is, or herlittle quote for the day is
today I will strive for balancebetween being too needy and not
(11:59):
allowing myself to need people.
I will let myself receive thelove that is there for me.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the website.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the website recover yoursoulnet to learn more about the
nine step soul recovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we learn
(12:22):
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other If you'd
like to work directly with meto move through the nine step
soul recovery process, I'm herefor you, but you can also choose
to work the steps on your own,with individual modules intended
to support you, to work at yourown pace and on your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
(12:45):
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode.
(13:08):
What I love about this, inreflection to what I was saying
in the beginning abouteverything being out of control,
is that when you look at whatour motivation is, that's
underneath our behaviors and ouractions and our reactions right
, there is this incredible wellof information that came from
(13:31):
the past that is trying to tellus something.
Those were our feelings, andwhen we get so caught up in
trying to protect and saveourselves and trying to make
sense of what could have neverreally truly made sense because
there's just too many layers tounderstand, especially when we
were younger.
Then we used control, we usedtrying to fix it, we used
(13:58):
codependent behaviors, we usedaddiction.
Sometimes we used ways ofshowing up that were around the
outside, always needing theoutside to provide for us
something.
And what I really love aboutthis that I'm glad that it's
touching on in this conversationis it's okay to need people.
(14:19):
It's okay to need and want tohave healthy relationships with
the people in your life.
They may not be able to giveyou that right now, they may
never be able to give you thatright now.
They may never be able to givethat to you, but it doesn't mean
that it isn't okay for you toneed and want those
relationships.
(14:39):
In my own life.
I'm fascinated with my mind.
I'm fascinated with my story.
I've become more and morecurious about how I became who I
am and as I approach this, thisseven year marker of sobriety,
which always is such a beautifultime of reflection to look back
and say, wow, how did you gethere?
So much has happened in my life.
(15:02):
I have been on the overlyindependent side and not the
needy side.
I've been on the side where Ifelt that it was my job and my
responsibility to take care ofmyself, to do everything for
myself to make sure that Ididn't need anyone, and if I
look back at my childhood, I hada particular childhood that
(15:25):
didn't have a lot of the traumasthat so many people that I've
worked with or that I knowpersonally or have come to
retreats or shared their storywith me a lot of you have really
been through some reallyprofound, profound trauma, and I
want you to feel in your hearthow true that is and so that
need that you have to control,to protect, to make sure that
(15:47):
nobody ever can get in there andharm you, or that you're
supposed to take care ofeverything to make sure that
nobody ever can get in there andharm you, or that you're
supposed to take care ofeverything to make sure
everything's okay.
Of course these were thesystems that were set up within
you.
Of course you have createdthese systems and that
gentleness that we can give toourself.
But because I had suchindependent parents who really
(16:08):
never treated me like a child orgave me a lot of the markers
that you get as a child, I wastrained from a very early age to
be independent and self-reliant, and so it wasn't necessarily
from big T trauma, it was frommodeling and conditioning, and
that there was some part of methat believes, and has spent an
(16:29):
entire lifetime believing, thatnobody is there for you, that
you have to do everythingyourself.
And recently this has beenreflected in my business, that
the recover your soul businessis me.
It's Rev Rachel, right, so Iwork seven days a week because I
love it, because I've neverloved anything the amount that I
(16:52):
love doing what I'm doing, yetbecause I am somebody who thinks
that I have to be selfsufficient, that control has
snuck up in this sneaky way tobottleneck my ability to bring
more of recover your soul tomore people.
Because I have gotten stuck inthis feeling that it's all me,
(17:17):
that I have to do it all, andI'm using some tools and I'm
trying to do the best that I can, but I record two podcasts a
week, I see clients three days aweek and I do all the social
media myself and I'm writing abook with, for the first time,
somebody that I am co writingwith, somebody that I'm actually
(17:41):
.
This is a huge step for me tostep out and stop feeling like I
have to be in control ofeverything, somebody who came to
me and said I'm in your processand this is what I do.
What can we do together to makethis work?
And it's been an opening for meto recognize that, when I
really look back on my life,even though I've been doing so
(18:04):
much work around, letting go ofcontrol in so many other areas
the work that I've done with mykids and that how I've worked
with Rich, they're huge, justenormous, massive improvements
but when it comes down to this,I'm watching myself get
completely bottlenecked in thefact that I recognize that I'm
(18:27):
back to.
It feels out of control,because there's so much to do
and so much to offer and so muchthat I want to do and it's so
big and it's so important and Iwant so desperately to help more
and more and more people tolisten to this, this nine step
soul recovery process, to beable to accept a spiritual path
(18:48):
and have the kind of freedomthat has transformed my life
that I did the thing that I'mteaching you to not do, which is
to put all of the pressure onyourself that it is only yours
and that nobody is there for you, right?
So I caught myself in thelimiting belief that says there
is nobody there for you, youcan't count on anyone.
(19:11):
You have to do it all yourself.
And when I do that, I'm takingspirit out of the driver's seat,
which is my favorite place forspirit to be.
I feel the safest and happiestand most contented when I let
spirit be in the driver's seatand I'm over here in the
passenger seat being thenavigator and being part of the
(19:32):
conversation as we talk about inthe co-creation with source.
That's my favorite.
And yet that control is sosneaky that those old beliefs
that say no one is there for you, you can't ask for help, have
bottlenecked me into, backed upagainst a wall where I can't do
(19:55):
it all.
I can't physically do it all,and that means that I'm not
having work-life balance, whichmeans that I'm moving more and
more into the driver's seat andforgetting that spirit's in the
driver's seat.
And then that leaks out into mylife.
It leaks out into my life.
It leaks out into my life, andthen I forget all of the
(20:16):
principles and I start to bemore easily reactable.
I let Rich hurt my feelings moreeasily.
It happened yesterday.
He snapped at me while we weredoing a construction project and
my whole self knows that thisis one of his things that he
does that.
He likes it to be a veryparticular way when he's doing
(20:36):
his construction projects.
And I'm just supposed to holdthe pole the way that he told me
to hold the pole right, that'smy whole job.
But I don't do it exactly theway that he would like, and so
then he snaps at me and then Irecognize I'm actually not in a
place where I'm in my body orI'm doing it well, because I got
(20:58):
really hurt and I realized it'sbecause I'm feeling overwhelmed
in so many other places.
And the beautiful thing in soul,recovery is, instead of going
down some crazy spiral, I becomesuper curious.
I noticed that these are thecharacter defenses that I'm in
one of my character defenses andall of a sudden in the last day
(21:18):
I had this epiphany and saidwhat if you need people, why are
you not allowing people to help?
Why do you think you have to dothis all yourself?
What are you afraid of?
And you know what I'm afraid of.
I'm afraid of letting people in.
I'm afraid that there's aweakness by my raising my hand
(21:39):
and saying I can't do this allmyself and I need help.
And there's a fear that if Ilet go of the reins, this
incredible community that meansso much to me and these
teachings that are transformingpeople's lives that I take
incredibly seriously, but not soseriously that I think I'm
(22:01):
somebody so special, right LikeI believe so much that we're all
in it together and that this ismy soul's mission, is to just
be present in my, in my life, toshare this with you.
I can't do it myself.
I got to get, I got to get inthe passenger seat, and then it
comes back, just like in thereading for today.
(22:22):
And it's beautiful that to takecontrol back into your own life
means that you have to stoptrying to control the world
around you.
And then I opened up the booktoday thinking maybe I'll just
read out of the book for thepodcast for Monday and guess
what it is Needing people.
So if we're overly needy, it'ssaying you accept that part of
(22:46):
yourself that feels thosefeelings that had those parts of
you as a young child who didnot have your needs met, did not
have your needs met.
So of course you set up systems.
That is, looking for people onthe outside to fill it up and
for whatever circumstances, Igrew up in a situation in my
(23:08):
childhood where my independenceand not needing anybody was so
rewarded that I have not letanybody in on the level that
would be good for me, and myhusband complains about this all
the time, on a regular basis.
He has said to me over all theyears that he wishes that he
(23:30):
would be able to be in, that Iwould let him in, and now that
we've established this level ofsafety within our relationship
that is better than we had for20 years and our 32 years
together.
I still have this wall up, andthe wall is not necessarily a
wall of fear of getting hurt.
(23:51):
It's this wall that says youhave to be independent, you have
to do it yourself, you can'tneed anybody, it's not safe to
need anyone and that if I do, myworld will fall out of control.
And then I start to control,and then it starts this cycle
again.
It's it's fascinating when youlook at it.
(24:14):
So what I realized is, if I wantRecover your Soul, to grow in
the way that I do and I have,you know this Maddie is helping
me write the book and then she'sintroducing me to people who
are helping me with otheraspects of it, and I feel this
pressure and I'm thinking what'sthe pressure anyway.
And then, is it okay if I'musing some of the AI tools to
(24:36):
use my words, my concepts, mytranscripts, my teachings to you
so that I don't have to writeeverything?
Yeah, I'm using those tools andI want to be able to hand that
over to somebody who is stillusing those tools so that the
concepts of soul recovery do notget diminished, because that's
so important.
Everybody who is out theredoing this work that has moved
(25:01):
into bigger levels hasassistance.
They have people that arehelping, they have people who
are doing these things for them,and I'm afraid to let that go.
And you know, I'm not afraid tolet that go for the reasons
that one might think.
It's because I have anunderlying belief that I
personally have to do it allmyself and I raised my kids like
(25:24):
that.
I was like that in my marriage.
I realized as a employee ofother businesses I showed up
that way of not feeling like Icould ever ask for help, that I
just needed to take on everybodyelse's stuff.
These are the markers ofcodependent and people pleasing
(25:48):
behaviors that are not bad.
They just are the way that weprotected ourselves and it is
okay to need people.
So then I come back, just tosort of bring it back around,
when we are in life and insituations where the people
around you cannot show up foryou in the way that your heart
(26:09):
so truly desires.
That control that we're tryingto make it be different or we're
in the suffering of wishingthat it was different, is the
part that we get to take ourpower back and we get to feel
those feelings.
We get to be with what that isand stop trying to change it,
(26:30):
fix it, manage it, make it bedifferent and attend to our own
grief, our own sadness, our ownstories that we've told
ourselves, working through thenine step soul recovery process
to be able to unlock the painand let all of it teach us, turn
(26:51):
us into our full, authenticselves, so that those people in
our lives who are indeed notshowing up in the way that we
wish that they were it does nothurt us in the same way.
Right Yesterday, with this thingwith Rich and I, I did my usual
thing.
I just got really quiet.
(27:11):
I just did what he asked me todo.
I went about my business andthen in the evening, when he
said I can tell something'sgoing on, what's up, because I
can now show up and speak in away that I never allowed myself
to have the voice of.
When you, I feel I neednonviolent communication.
(27:33):
When you snap at me when we'reon a project, it shuts me down
and I need to be able to show upand feel like there's safety
here.
And he said you're right, Iforget that we're not on a job
site and I forget that you havea more tender way of being and I
(27:57):
forget that I can't just barkorders.
And then I went and didsomething else and he came back
and he said and you know what Ireally meant to say, honey is,
I'm here for you, I care aboutyou.
I can tell you're overwhelmed.
Why don't you call the housecleaner and let's get our house
put back together?
I know that is hard for youwhen it's kind of messy.
(28:19):
That is huge for us, that'shuge for us and it's huge for me
.
So not only can we believe thatthe people who we didn't think
could be there for us, that theymight end up showing up in ways
that we would never haveexpected if we stopped trying to
(28:40):
control it that's what hashappened to me in my
relationship with Rich.
I also recognize that there'speople in my life and family
members that I have tocompletely accept and let them
be exactly who they are and stoptrying to fix and change and
manage and control, and theprotection that used to be that
(29:01):
I don't need you has lessenedand it's now an awareness and
acceptance of their process, whothey are.
And then I turn to the placeswhere I do have control.
I have control over recoveryour soul.
I get to invite people in whosee the value of what this
(29:22):
community is and are as stokedand excited and honored and
privileged to share this witheveryone as I am, as I am, and
that we together are going to dothis, that it's not just me,
that when I do that, not only dowe have spirit in the driver's
seat, we've got me in thepassenger seat.
(29:44):
We have a bus filled withpeople potentially who are as
energized with what this is.
And you know what that does.
It creates even another levelof community.
And can I allow myself to begifted with that kind of love?
I never thought I could and Ithink there's some part of me
that didn't think that Ideserved it as a child.
(30:06):
That must be some story that Itold myself from all those
experiences that I couldn't askfor help, that I had to do it
all myself, that somehow thosekinds of connections or those
kinds of interactions were forthe other ones, not for me.
You know I've told the storiesabout being rejected so
(30:27):
intensely by other kids when Iwas growing up, so that happened
.
That's okay.
Here I am now today and I amready to make choices in my life
that open me up to moreconnection, that open me up to
understanding myself better,that make the connection with my
(30:49):
higher power more and more andmore relevant, more and more
true that I feel more in theflow.
I feel more in the flow andthat from that then, I am
actually needing people, needingand wanting people in my life
in healthy and really authenticways.
That's what I'm calling tomyself.
(31:22):
What I encourage you to look atfrom this episode is based on
this reading.
It's based on the reading ofwhere are you on that scale of
being too needy and looking fromthe outside for people to
provide you with something thatmaybe they can't give, or where
are you not needing people atall?
You're putting up barriers andpushing people away really from
fear, and how is that reflectingin your life to where you
(31:46):
realize that you're actuallyusing control as a mechanism to
defend yourself, as a mechanismfor making sure that you are
safe or not in pain or thatothers aren't in pain, and
recognizing that when everythingfeels out of control, it's
(32:07):
actually where we step back evenmore and attend to ourselves.
Put spirit in the driver's seat, move over to the passenger
seat driver's seat.
Move over to the passenger seatand not only let spirit into
your life, but let those intoyour life that are there for you
, that see you, that support you, that love you and to allow
(32:29):
yourself to be loved as youdeserve, as you so deserve.
I really want to let you knowhow important this community is
and that, if you're strugglingwith any of these things, I have
this nine step soul recoveryprocess that I'm hoping that
you'll take advantage of inwhatever way works for you.
(32:50):
If it's just listening to thepodcast, but you're looking at
it on the website and you'resaying here's the step that I'm
in, here's what's going on, Ihope that you'll engage in that
and if you need one on onecoaching, please come and join
me in this process of me leadingyou through it.
Not only are we doing the steps, but there's something that
(33:12):
happens in those in thosesessions that is a channeling of
spirit that is really profound.
They have a level of it's hardto even describe what happens in
those sessions, and then I'mhoping that you'll take
advantage of the work, the steps, on your own.
I'm avidly working on gettingsteps finished so that you have
(33:35):
more to choose from.
There's a couple to choose fromright now on the website up and
going, and I hope that you willfeel this intimacy that I'm
feeling with you as we're heretogether, and I want it to be
accessible to you.
I want it to be accessible toyou because this is your journey
and you're here on purpose.
I want you to feel loved andseen and that your wholeness is
(33:59):
the truth of who you are, andyou wouldn't be listening if it
wasn't time for you to do thiswork.
You wouldn't be here if itwasn't time for you to do what
you need to do for you.
Until next time, namaste, thankyou for listening and I hope
that that helps support yoursoul recovery process.
(34:21):
Namaste, or book study, thatcomes with being part of that
community, but your subscribinghelps support this podcast and
the Recover your Soul communityIf you want to listen to those
(34:43):
bonus episodes but can'tsubscribe right now, do know
that you can be a free Patreonmember and have access for
limited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars and the reviews that are
(35:05):
left to bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
This episode started as an
inspiration by reading today'sreading out of the Language of
Letting Go Daily Meditations onCodependency by Melody Beatty,
and the reading was aroundneeding people.
Sometimes we lean too far inthe being overly needy and
sometimes we lean on the otherdirection of not allowing
anybody in.
(00:20):
It is a reflection aroundcodependency and it's a
reflection around soul recoveryand our concept of control that
sometimes, when we feel so outof control, we swing into the
direction of over-controlling insneaky ways that we didn't even
realize.
How can we have people in ourlives in a healthy way?
(00:42):
How can we allow people inwithout being in control?
That's what we're going to talkabout today.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast a spiritual path to a
happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
(01:04):
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
(01:26):
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast and community.
I'm Rev Rachel and I am just asalways I say this every time,
but it's so true.
I just am so grateful thatwe're all here together.
It just means so much to methat you are choosing to spend
(01:47):
your time with me.
It is this incredible knowingthat you're not here by mistake
and that these stories that Ishare, this nine steps recovery
process that has become such atransformative piece of my life
and has now become such atransformative piece of so many
other people's lives, I justfeel the strength of this
community more and more and moreevery day, with such gratitude,
(02:12):
such enormous gratitude foreach and every one of you.
So thanks for showing up,thanks for doing your work,
thank you for choosing you,thank you for showing up to say,
hey, I want something differentin my life.
I am ready to take my powerback, I am ready to take control
back in my life and I want toknow how to do steps to get
(02:34):
there.
I want to know how I can choosemyself.
I'm ready to let go of what nolonger serves me.
This is a powerful moment whenyou can do this to take your
power back.
You know one of my mainfoundations of what I teach is
around control, and it'sfascinating to me how it's all
(02:54):
come around, because it wasn'tsomething that I even registered
that I did.
I thought I was helping, Ithought I was taking care of, I
thought I was fixing, I thoughtit was my personal job to make
sure that everybody was okay,that everything was okay.
It had been ingrained in mefrom my childhood.
Whatever our life'scircumstances are is what the
(03:17):
definitions are for it, but itgenerally has this definition of
being over demanding or toreally be putting upon other
people to make other people dowhat you want them to do right.
(03:41):
It has this heavy hand to it.
You want them to do right.
It has this heavy hand to it.
And what we're offering in soulrecovery is we're actually
saying that this is sneaky, thatit's something that we don't
even recognize that is happeningin our life, and when we are
trying to control everythingaround us because we think that
(04:01):
it will make it better for thepeople around us, what we're
really saying is, if everythingelse could be or feel better
than we would feel better.
And, in the end, what we'relearning in soul recovery is how
to take control of your life,not how to control their life.
We're making a switch that wedidn't even know needed
(04:25):
switching.
How do I take control back inmy life?
I've lost control.
It feels out of control.
I feel like everything isspinning out of control and when
we recognize that we've beenplaying a part in that by trying
to fix it, by trying to changeit, by trying to force it, then
(04:53):
we get off of the crazy ridethat is around control.
I know that I talk aboutcontrol so much, but it is such
a really sneaky, sneaky littlething that happens in our lives
that continues to come back andremind me and show me more and
more about how I was showing upin my life before, how I'm
continuing to show up in my lifetoday, how it continues to
offer me these beautiful momentsof grace where I recognize that
(05:16):
it's really giving me thesemarkers to deepen my
relationship with myself, toturn within, and every time I'm
learning a new spiritualsomething.
You know me, I'm just alwayssoaking in teachings and
learning more and going downmore rabbit holes, and it's
(05:37):
really giving me more solidityaround this truth that we can
indeed let go, that we canindeed hand it over, that we can
indeed move into a space offaith and trust, and we talked a
lot in the last couple weeksaround some of these concepts
(05:59):
and what I think is important isthat we allow ourselves to let
it unlayer.
Is important is that we allowourselves to let it unlayer.
You know what do they say in 12step when you get into the rooms
of AA is it took you a longtime to get this far down the
drunk road.
You know we don't wake up oneday and have a drink most of us
and have it just completely gooff the rails from the first day
(06:22):
.
That's not how that usuallystarts out.
It usually starts out being asolution.
It's a solution to feeling good.
It's a solution to having fun.
It's a solution to a reward atthe end of the day, it's a
solution to numbing out some ofthe pain.
That solution continues being asolution until it no longer is
(06:42):
providing you with that samecomfort.
Well, in a way, we're the samewith control, with this need for
us to want to manipulate,maneuver, manage, mother, all of
those things that.
It was a slow and steadyprocess, just like my becoming a
full on drunk.
I didn't start that way, but bythe time I started drinking
(07:07):
when I was 21 years old andearnest to the time I was 48,
when I quit.
That was a lot of years and alot of different levels of
trying to have that solution fixwhat ended up being my broken
heart.
It was the part of me that wasout of control.
Right, we're trying to find away to feel okay in a world that
(07:31):
feels really unmanageable.
One of the things that I thinkis important in soul recovery
that I hope that I'm impressingupon you on a regular basis is
that we actually have a lot morechoice than we think.
We have so much more choicethan we were told that was in
our minds, and that choice isnot about them.
(07:55):
It's about you.
That question of how do I getback control of my life, how do
I control my life?
How do I find a way to make allof this better?
How do I change what feels sodifficult and painful to me?
The answer is to stop trying tochange it, to stop trying to
(08:15):
control the outside, to stoptrying to make other people be a
certain way or to change thoseinteractions within your
relationships.
But it's not about being small.
As I said that last sentence, Icould feel that feeling around
not having other people in yourlife be a certain way, but those
(08:36):
people in your life, you needthem.
You need them and you want them.
You actually want themdesperately in your life to show
up for you.
And today my original thoughtwas that I would read out of the
Language of Letting Go byMelody Beatty for today, which
is the day that we are airingthis particular episode, which
is January 27.
And as I close my eyes, as Ialways do, and started talking,
(09:00):
what came out before is whatcame out.
What I think is so fascinatingabout this control is that so
much of it has this piece ofwhat we need and want from
people, and this is what we'vebeen talking about actually this
year so far.
How do you allow yourself to bein your dreaming, how do you
allow yourself to want for moreand not control at the same time
(09:24):
?
So I'm going to actually goback to my original thought,
which is to read out of today'sreading of Melody Beatty's the
Language of Letting Go DailyMeditations on Codependency,
because I actually think that itplays into really beautifully
this awareness that the morethat we release the need for
others to change, the more thatwe actually step into the
(09:47):
wholeness of ourselves and canbe in more healthy and intimate
and connected and reallyvulnerable and authentic
relationships with everyonearound us, especially when we
allow it to be whatever it isand quit living in a fantasy.
So I'm just going to read thefull reading for today and then
(10:10):
I will reflect on it in the soulrecovery perspective.
Okay, so it's called needingpeople.
We can find balance betweenneeding people too much and not
letting ourselves need anyone atall.
Many of us have unmetdependency needs lingering from
the past.
While we want others to fulfillour desire to be loved
(10:30):
unconditionally from the past,while we want others to fulfill
our desire to be lovedunconditionally, we may have
chosen people who cannot or willnot be there for us.
Some of us are so needy fromnot being loved that we drive
people away by needing them toomuch.
Some of us go to the otherextreme.
We may have become used topeople not being there for us,
so we push them away.
We fight off our feeling ofneediness by becoming overly
(10:53):
independent, not allowingourselves to need anyone.
Some of us won't let people bethere for us at all.
Either way, we're living outunfinished business.
We deserve better.
When we change, ourcircumstances will change.
If we're too needy, we respondto that by accepting that needy
(11:15):
part of us.
We let ourselves heal from thepain of the past and all those
needs that were unmet, and westop telling ourselves that
we're unlovable because wehaven't been loved the way that
we wanted and needed.
If we've shut off the part ofus that needs people, we become
willing to open up, bevulnerable, let ourselves be
(11:36):
loved.
We, let ourselves have needs.
We will get the love we needand desire when we begin to
believe we're lovable and whenwe allow that to happen.
And her meditation is, or herlittle quote for the day is
today I will strive for balancebetween being too needy and not
(11:59):
allowing myself to need people.
I will let myself receive thelove that is there for me.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the website.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the website recover yoursoulnet to learn more about the
nine step soul recovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we learn
(12:22):
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other If you'd
like to work directly with meto move through the nine step
soul recovery process, I'm herefor you, but you can also choose
to work the steps on your own,with individual modules intended
to support you, to work at yourown pace and on your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
(12:45):
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode.
(13:08):
What I love about this, inreflection to what I was saying
in the beginning abouteverything being out of control,
is that when you look at whatour motivation is, that's
underneath our behaviors and ouractions and our reactions right
, there is this incredible wellof information that came from
(13:31):
the past that is trying to tellus something.
Those were our feelings, andwhen we get so caught up in
trying to protect and saveourselves and trying to make
sense of what could have neverreally truly made sense because
there's just too many layers tounderstand, especially when we
were younger.
Then we used control, we usedtrying to fix it, we used
(13:58):
codependent behaviors, we usedaddiction.
Sometimes we used ways ofshowing up that were around the
outside, always needing theoutside to provide for us
something.
And what I really love aboutthis that I'm glad that it's
touching on in this conversationis it's okay to need people.
(14:19):
It's okay to need and want tohave healthy relationships with
the people in your life.
They may not be able to giveyou that right now, they may
never be able to give you thatright now.
They may never be able to givethat to you, but it doesn't mean
that it isn't okay for you toneed and want those
relationships.
(14:39):
In my own life.
I'm fascinated with my mind.
I'm fascinated with my story.
I've become more and morecurious about how I became who I
am and as I approach this, thisseven year marker of sobriety,
which always is such a beautifultime of reflection to look back
and say, wow, how did you gethere?
So much has happened in my life.
(15:02):
I have been on the overlyindependent side and not the
needy side.
I've been on the side where Ifelt that it was my job and my
responsibility to take care ofmyself, to do everything for
myself to make sure that Ididn't need anyone, and if I
look back at my childhood, I hada particular childhood that
(15:25):
didn't have a lot of the traumasthat so many people that I've
worked with or that I knowpersonally or have come to
retreats or shared their storywith me a lot of you have really
been through some reallyprofound, profound trauma, and I
want you to feel in your hearthow true that is and so that
need that you have to control,to protect, to make sure that
(15:47):
nobody ever can get in there andharm you, or that you're
supposed to take care ofeverything to make sure that
nobody ever can get in there andharm you, or that you're
supposed to take care ofeverything to make sure
everything's okay.
Of course these were thesystems that were set up within
you.
Of course you have createdthese systems and that
gentleness that we can give toourself.
But because I had suchindependent parents who really
(16:08):
never treated me like a child orgave me a lot of the markers
that you get as a child, I wastrained from a very early age to
be independent and self-reliant, and so it wasn't necessarily
from big T trauma, it was frommodeling and conditioning, and
that there was some part of methat believes, and has spent an
(16:29):
entire lifetime believing, thatnobody is there for you, that
you have to do everythingyourself.
And recently this has beenreflected in my business, that
the recover your soul businessis me.
It's Rev Rachel, right, so Iwork seven days a week because I
love it, because I've neverloved anything the amount that I
(16:52):
love doing what I'm doing, yetbecause I am somebody who thinks
that I have to be selfsufficient, that control has
snuck up in this sneaky way tobottleneck my ability to bring
more of recover your soul tomore people.
Because I have gotten stuck inthis feeling that it's all me,
(17:17):
that I have to do it all, andI'm using some tools and I'm
trying to do the best that I can, but I record two podcasts a
week, I see clients three days aweek and I do all the social
media myself and I'm writing abook with, for the first time,
somebody that I am co writingwith, somebody that I'm actually
(17:41):
.
This is a huge step for me tostep out and stop feeling like I
have to be in control ofeverything, somebody who came to
me and said I'm in your processand this is what I do.
What can we do together to makethis work?
And it's been an opening for meto recognize that, when I
really look back on my life,even though I've been doing so
(18:04):
much work around, letting go ofcontrol in so many other areas
the work that I've done with mykids and that how I've worked
with Rich, they're huge, justenormous, massive improvements
but when it comes down to this,I'm watching myself get
completely bottlenecked in thefact that I recognize that I'm
(18:27):
back to.
It feels out of control,because there's so much to do
and so much to offer and so muchthat I want to do and it's so
big and it's so important and Iwant so desperately to help more
and more and more people tolisten to this, this nine step
soul recovery process, to beable to accept a spiritual path
(18:48):
and have the kind of freedomthat has transformed my life
that I did the thing that I'mteaching you to not do, which is
to put all of the pressure onyourself that it is only yours
and that nobody is there for you, right?
So I caught myself in thelimiting belief that says there
is nobody there for you, youcan't count on anyone.
(19:11):
You have to do it all yourself.
And when I do that, I'm takingspirit out of the driver's seat,
which is my favorite place forspirit to be.
I feel the safest and happiestand most contented when I let
spirit be in the driver's seatand I'm over here in the
passenger seat being thenavigator and being part of the
(19:32):
conversation as we talk about inthe co-creation with source.
That's my favorite.
And yet that control is sosneaky that those old beliefs
that say no one is there for you, you can't ask for help, have
bottlenecked me into, backed upagainst a wall where I can't do
(19:55):
it all.
I can't physically do it all,and that means that I'm not
having work-life balance, whichmeans that I'm moving more and
more into the driver's seat andforgetting that spirit's in the
driver's seat.
And then that leaks out into mylife.
It leaks out into my life.
It leaks out into my life, andthen I forget all of the
(20:16):
principles and I start to bemore easily reactable.
I let Rich hurt my feelings moreeasily.
It happened yesterday.
He snapped at me while we weredoing a construction project and
my whole self knows that thisis one of his things that he
does that.
He likes it to be a veryparticular way when he's doing
(20:36):
his construction projects.
And I'm just supposed to holdthe pole the way that he told me
to hold the pole right, that'smy whole job.
But I don't do it exactly theway that he would like, and so
then he snaps at me and then Irecognize I'm actually not in a
place where I'm in my body orI'm doing it well, because I got
(20:58):
really hurt and I realized it'sbecause I'm feeling overwhelmed
in so many other places.
And the beautiful thing in soul,recovery is, instead of going
down some crazy spiral, I becomesuper curious.
I noticed that these are thecharacter defenses that I'm in
one of my character defenses andall of a sudden in the last day
(21:18):
I had this epiphany and saidwhat if you need people, why are
you not allowing people to help?
Why do you think you have to dothis all yourself?
What are you afraid of?
And you know what I'm afraid of.
I'm afraid of letting people in.
I'm afraid that there's aweakness by my raising my hand
(21:39):
and saying I can't do this allmyself and I need help.
And there's a fear that if Ilet go of the reins, this
incredible community that meansso much to me and these
teachings that are transformingpeople's lives that I take
incredibly seriously, but not soseriously that I think I'm
(22:01):
somebody so special, right LikeI believe so much that we're all
in it together and that this ismy soul's mission, is to just
be present in my, in my life, toshare this with you.
I can't do it myself.
I got to get, I got to get inthe passenger seat, and then it
comes back, just like in thereading for today.
(22:22):
And it's beautiful that to takecontrol back into your own life
means that you have to stoptrying to control the world
around you.
And then I opened up the booktoday thinking maybe I'll just
read out of the book for thepodcast for Monday and guess
what it is Needing people.
So if we're overly needy, it'ssaying you accept that part of
(22:46):
yourself that feels thosefeelings that had those parts of
you as a young child who didnot have your needs met, did not
have your needs met.
So of course you set up systems.
That is, looking for people onthe outside to fill it up and
for whatever circumstances, Igrew up in a situation in my
(23:08):
childhood where my independenceand not needing anybody was so
rewarded that I have not letanybody in on the level that
would be good for me, and myhusband complains about this all
the time, on a regular basis.
He has said to me over all theyears that he wishes that he
(23:30):
would be able to be in, that Iwould let him in, and now that
we've established this level ofsafety within our relationship
that is better than we had for20 years and our 32 years
together.
I still have this wall up, andthe wall is not necessarily a
wall of fear of getting hurt.
(23:51):
It's this wall that says youhave to be independent, you have
to do it yourself, you can'tneed anybody, it's not safe to
need anyone and that if I do, myworld will fall out of control.
And then I start to control,and then it starts this cycle
again.
It's it's fascinating when youlook at it.
(24:14):
So what I realized is, if I wantRecover your Soul, to grow in
the way that I do and I have,you know this Maddie is helping
me write the book and then she'sintroducing me to people who
are helping me with otheraspects of it, and I feel this
pressure and I'm thinking what'sthe pressure anyway.
And then, is it okay if I'musing some of the AI tools to
(24:36):
use my words, my concepts, mytranscripts, my teachings to you
so that I don't have to writeeverything?
Yeah, I'm using those tools andI want to be able to hand that
over to somebody who is stillusing those tools so that the
concepts of soul recovery do notget diminished, because that's
so important.
Everybody who is out theredoing this work that has moved
(25:01):
into bigger levels hasassistance.
They have people that arehelping, they have people who
are doing these things for them,and I'm afraid to let that go.
And you know, I'm not afraid tolet that go for the reasons
that one might think.
It's because I have anunderlying belief that I
personally have to do it allmyself and I raised my kids like
(25:24):
that.
I was like that in my marriage.
I realized as a employee ofother businesses I showed up
that way of not feeling like Icould ever ask for help, that I
just needed to take on everybodyelse's stuff.
These are the markers ofcodependent and people pleasing
(25:48):
behaviors that are not bad.
They just are the way that weprotected ourselves and it is
okay to need people.
So then I come back, just tosort of bring it back around,
when we are in life and insituations where the people
around you cannot show up foryou in the way that your heart
(26:09):
so truly desires.
That control that we're tryingto make it be different or we're
in the suffering of wishingthat it was different, is the
part that we get to take ourpower back and we get to feel
those feelings.
We get to be with what that isand stop trying to change it,
(26:30):
fix it, manage it, make it bedifferent and attend to our own
grief, our own sadness, our ownstories that we've told
ourselves, working through thenine step soul recovery process
to be able to unlock the painand let all of it teach us, turn
(26:51):
us into our full, authenticselves, so that those people in
our lives who are indeed notshowing up in the way that we
wish that they were it does nothurt us in the same way.
Right Yesterday, with this thingwith Rich and I, I did my usual
thing.
I just got really quiet.
(27:11):
I just did what he asked me todo.
I went about my business andthen in the evening, when he
said I can tell something'sgoing on, what's up, because I
can now show up and speak in away that I never allowed myself
to have the voice of.
When you, I feel I neednonviolent communication.
(27:33):
When you snap at me when we'reon a project, it shuts me down
and I need to be able to show upand feel like there's safety
here.
And he said you're right, Iforget that we're not on a job
site and I forget that you havea more tender way of being and I
(27:57):
forget that I can't just barkorders.
And then I went and didsomething else and he came back
and he said and you know what Ireally meant to say, honey is,
I'm here for you, I care aboutyou.
I can tell you're overwhelmed.
Why don't you call the housecleaner and let's get our house
put back together?
I know that is hard for youwhen it's kind of messy.
(28:19):
That is huge for us, that'shuge for us and it's huge for me
.
So not only can we believe thatthe people who we didn't think
could be there for us, that theymight end up showing up in ways
that we would never haveexpected if we stopped trying to
(28:40):
control it that's what hashappened to me in my
relationship with Rich.
I also recognize that there'speople in my life and family
members that I have tocompletely accept and let them
be exactly who they are and stoptrying to fix and change and
manage and control, and theprotection that used to be that
(29:01):
I don't need you has lessenedand it's now an awareness and
acceptance of their process, whothey are.
And then I turn to the placeswhere I do have control.
I have control over recoveryour soul.
I get to invite people in whosee the value of what this
(29:22):
community is and are as stokedand excited and honored and
privileged to share this witheveryone as I am, as I am, and
that we together are going to dothis, that it's not just me,
that when I do that, not only dowe have spirit in the driver's
seat, we've got me in thepassenger seat.
(29:44):
We have a bus filled withpeople potentially who are as
energized with what this is.
And you know what that does.
It creates even another levelof community.
And can I allow myself to begifted with that kind of love?
I never thought I could and Ithink there's some part of me
that didn't think that Ideserved it as a child.
(30:06):
That must be some story that Itold myself from all those
experiences that I couldn't askfor help, that I had to do it
all myself, that somehow thosekinds of connections or those
kinds of interactions were forthe other ones, not for me.
You know I've told the storiesabout being rejected so
(30:27):
intensely by other kids when Iwas growing up, so that happened
.
That's okay.
Here I am now today and I amready to make choices in my life
that open me up to moreconnection, that open me up to
understanding myself better,that make the connection with my
(30:49):
higher power more and more andmore relevant, more and more
true that I feel more in theflow.
I feel more in the flow andthat from that then, I am
actually needing people, needingand wanting people in my life
in healthy and really authenticways.
That's what I'm calling tomyself.
(31:22):
What I encourage you to look atfrom this episode is based on
this reading.
It's based on the reading ofwhere are you on that scale of
being too needy and looking fromthe outside for people to
provide you with something thatmaybe they can't give, or where
are you not needing people atall?
You're putting up barriers andpushing people away really from
fear, and how is that reflectingin your life to where you
(31:46):
realize that you're actuallyusing control as a mechanism to
defend yourself, as a mechanismfor making sure that you are
safe or not in pain or thatothers aren't in pain, and
recognizing that when everythingfeels out of control, it's
(32:07):
actually where we step back evenmore and attend to ourselves.
Put spirit in the driver's seat, move over to the passenger
seat driver's seat.
Move over to the passenger seatand not only let spirit into
your life, but let those intoyour life that are there for you
, that see you, that support you, that love you and to allow
(32:29):
yourself to be loved as youdeserve, as you so deserve.
I really want to let you knowhow important this community is
and that, if you're strugglingwith any of these things, I have
this nine step soul recoveryprocess that I'm hoping that
you'll take advantage of inwhatever way works for you.
(32:50):
If it's just listening to thepodcast, but you're looking at
it on the website and you'resaying here's the step that I'm
in, here's what's going on, Ihope that you'll engage in that
and if you need one on onecoaching, please come and join
me in this process of me leadingyou through it.
Not only are we doing the steps, but there's something that
(33:12):
happens in those in thosesessions that is a channeling of
spirit that is really profound.
They have a level of it's hardto even describe what happens in
those sessions, and then I'mhoping that you'll take
advantage of the work, the steps, on your own.
I'm avidly working on gettingsteps finished so that you have
(33:35):
more to choose from.
There's a couple to choose fromright now on the website up and
going, and I hope that you willfeel this intimacy that I'm
feeling with you as we're heretogether, and I want it to be
accessible to you.
I want it to be accessible toyou because this is your journey
and you're here on purpose.
I want you to feel loved andseen and that your wholeness is
(33:59):
the truth of who you are, andyou wouldn't be listening if it
wasn't time for you to do thiswork.
You wouldn't be here if itwasn't time for you to do what
you need to do for you.
Until next time, namaste, thankyou for listening and I hope
that that helps support yoursoul recovery process.
(34:21):
Namaste, or book study, thatcomes with being part of that
community, but your subscribinghelps support this podcast and
the Recover your Soul communityIf you want to listen to those
(34:43):
bonus episodes but can'tsubscribe right now, do know
that you can be a free Patreonmember and have access for
limited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars and the reviews that are
(35:05):
left to bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
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