February 10, 2025 • 37 mins
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If you’ve found this podcast, chances are you’re on a journey—one that may include addiction, codependency, people-pleasing, or the deep exhaustion of trying to fix others. I know that journey well because I’ve walked it myself. Seven years ago, I made the decision to save myself, to step into my healing, and to embrace the transformative power of Soul Recovery. And that choice changed everything.
In this episode, I reflect on my seven-year sobriety milestone and the profound shifts that have unfolded in my life. But this journey isn’t just about putting down a drink or breaking free from toxic patterns—it’s about reclaiming your power, finding peace within yourself, and allowing your own healing to be the light that inspires others- it is about choosing your own Soul Recovery.
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Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
If you have found this podcast, it's likely
that you are struggling withcodependency or people pleasing
or you have someone in your lifewho is an addict.
I was all of those things.
I was an addict, I was acodependent, I had an alcoholic
husband, I had complex kids withtheir own addiction and ADHD.
I had a period of my life whereI felt completely overwhelmed,
(00:23):
completely lost, completely,just in despair over what was
happening in my life.
Where I felt completelyoverwhelmed, completely lost,
completely, just in despair overwhat was happening in my life.
And it has been seven yearssince I had that moment of grace
where I decided to save myself.
This episode talks about myrecovery from alcoholism, from
codependence, from peoplepleasing.
That created what I now callsoul recovery.
(00:45):
We can indeed heal, we canindeed shine our light, and in
that we learn how to be thisincredible beacon of light for
others, but not to fix or changethem, but for us to live our
fullest self, to live a lifethat we choose.
And when I look back sevenyears ago on what my life was
(01:09):
like compared to what it istoday, it's a totally different
life, but it didn't just happen.
I created it with higher power,I worked hard on it.
I used the nine-step soulrecovery process to transform
who I was completely and when Ireflect back, I have such
gratitude for the whole journey,even the hard times.
(01:30):
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast a spiritual path to a
happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
(01:51):
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives, as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
(02:13):
Welcome back to the Recoveryyour Soul podcast.
I'm Rev Rachel.
This is not just a podcast,this is a community, and it's a
community that's grown out of myrecovery from alcoholism.
And today, february 10, the daythat this airs, marks my seven
years sober.
And it's a really profound timefor me every time this time of
(02:36):
year comes around for reflection, because there has been so much
that has changed in my life, somuch transformation that's
changed, and letting go ofalcohol was just a tiny little
part of it just a little tinypart of it.
What I recognize is thatalcohol was a way that I was
shutting down, checking out fromwhat was a life that was really
(03:00):
complicated and really painfulfor me, and it's interesting
that I was a little resistant tothis episode.
It's interesting becauseusually I want to really share
with you about what's going onwith me, and this should be a
big day of celebration and onsome level it totally is this
huge level of celebration that Iwas able to put down drinking.
(03:22):
So many of you, so many of you,came here because of Al-Anon.
You came here because ofcodependence.
You searched something that'sin one of the titles of my
podcast or something that I talkabout, and you have someone in
your life who's struggling withalcohol or with addiction of
some sort, some sort ofdysfunction, some sort of
behavior that is wrecking them,and I was that person.
(03:45):
So this idea that I made it outSee, I'm crying already this
idea that I made it out and madeit to the other side is pretty
profound.
To the other side is prettyprofound.
(04:12):
My oldest son is 28 years oldand it was in a therapy
appointment, when I was pregnantwith him, that this therapist
looked at my husband and myselfand said you know, the real
issue that you guys have is thatyou're alcoholics, and both of
us were just not wanting to lookat that at all.
You know, that was not what wewanted.
Alcohol was still such asolution for us.
It was such a way that we hadfun or that we were bound
(04:35):
together.
For me, it was such a solutionon how I handled what felt very
uncomfortable in my life, whichwas other people not being okay.
From a very young age I had thatawareness that when someone
else wasn't okay, I didn't knowwhat to do with that, and so I
didn't discover drinking until Iwas 21.
(04:55):
I drank a little bit in highschool at my senior year and
would just get so violently sickevery single time.
And then I drank a little bitin college, with the same
results.
I did discover pot and wasbetter at smoking pot.
But when I turned 21, I workedat a restaurant and one of the
(05:15):
things that you got at the endof the shift was a shift drink,
and somewhere along the lines Idiscovered a Long Island iced
tea.
That put me into a place whereeverything that hurt went away.
If I look back now I can seethat my drinking was not normal
from the beginning.
I still used to get sick a lot,which is so crazy that you
(05:36):
think somebody who used to throwup a mouth that I did would
want to do something else.
But I just kept thinking if Ican do this better, if I can
figure out how to do this better, because it took away the part
that was really hard to be inthe world, the part that it is
the solution for the part whereI could feel okay in my skin, I
(05:57):
could be around other people.
And when I really look now athow far I've come in my life not
just the last seven years, butwe're all on this journey you
know we don't give ourselvesenough credit for the incredible
, incredible hero's journey thatwe're all on.
And we all have issues.
(06:17):
We all have things that we do,things that we are addicted to,
behaviors that we fall back onas protections or ways to
protect ourselves when we're infear or in pain.
We have ways that we try tocontrol the world Instead of
seeing ourselves in some sort ofgrip of not doing things right.
(06:39):
What if we changed it?
What if you saw that you areindeed actually doing this human
experience, that it iscomplicated, that it is complex,
as I often say, and when I lookback on my 55 years of life,
there's so much to unpack.
(07:00):
And that's what soul recoveryis all about.
That's what this journey thatI've discovered through healing
from alcoholism and codependence, has really been a journey on
how to heal and how to makepeace with being a human being,
because it's not easy to be ahuman being, and I think that
part of my resistance in wantingto share today still so weepy,
(07:30):
is that even though there's somuch change for so much better
in my life and I don't havelevel nine anxiety or depression
like I used to, it's still hard.
You know, life is stillcomplicated and on some level it
continues to deepen my opening,the cracking open of our heart
(07:55):
that we are all so afraid to do,because it is painful to feel
these feelings so deeply.
And at the same time, there issuch an enormous opportunity for
us to understand ourselvesbetter, our soul's journey
better, to look at this earthschool that we're on and to be
(08:16):
curious about this incredibleride that we've been on this
hero's journey.
And so, in reflection of sevenyears, it is interesting to me
because, you know, seven yearsis that marker that they say
that, and I think I've said thisin a recent podcast.
But they say that your cellsall regenerate every seven years
(08:38):
.
You know, not all at once, butslowly over time.
And so after a seven yearperiod, there is this truth that
every cell in your body hasbeen updated.
Every cell in your body hasbeen updated.
And if I look at pictures ofmyself seven years ago, if I
think about where I was sevenyears ago, it's just so, so
(09:02):
vastly different from how I usedto see the world, how I used to
show up in the world.
And yet, at the same time,there's this part of me that
continues to be curious aboutwhy it has to be so complex.
Still, you know, in the thirdstep prayer in AA, which I still
use as part of the soulrecovery process, it says God, I
(09:26):
offer myself to you to buildwith me and do with me as you
will Relieve me of the bondageof self so I can better do your
will and take away mydifficulties.
That victory over them can bearwitness to those that I can
help with your power and yourlove and your way of life.
May I do your will always.
And in soul recovery, what I'vecome to recognize is the will
(09:50):
of source, the will of spirit,of God, of higher power,
whatever that is for you, and insoul recovery it's so important
that you're picking what thatis for you.
I'm not here to tell you whatthat is, but my true belief is
that, whatever that higher poweris for you, if you can stand up
and see that the will of theuniverse is never for you to be
(10:13):
small.
The will of the universe is foryou to be amazing, to stand in
your fullness, to recognize eachgift that you have, to stand in
the adversity and the hardshipand to know that you're here to
shine a light on the world, thatyour soul was brought here on
purpose, to be full, to be whole, to recognize your wholeness
(10:38):
You've heard me say that overand over to remember there's
nothing wrong with you, you arenot broken.
That, to me, is that line, andit's about co-creating with a
power higher than ourselves, nothanding over, not not being
part of it, but buildingtogether to build together, to
(10:59):
do it together so that we canbetter be our wholeness.
And then it says remove thebondage of self.
And that bondage of self.
Still, it's amazing how, evenafter you know, 55 years of life
and seven years of dedicated,so much of my time is dedicated
to spirituality andself-improvement and spiritual
(11:22):
growth.
And you know, digging in thereand taking a look around and
being connected, we have thisability to be so hard on
ourselves, to compare ourselvesto everybody else, to look and
say they are doing it better.
Somebody else is this there'ssomebody else is that, instead
(11:43):
of recognizing that that's justour bondage of self, it's just
our ego who is in a fight orflight, that's in those old, old
parts of our brain that isaround fear.
And so this beautifulopportunity to be removed of the
bondage of self so I can betterdo your will, so I can better
stand in my wholeness, so I canbetter be my full expression of
(12:06):
self that you were brought hereto be.
And then the last one is takeaway my difficulties.
The victory over them can bearwitness to those that I can help
with your power and your loveand your way of life.
And you know, as a recovered,codependent and people pleaser,
helping is not helping by doingfor them.
(12:28):
Helping is showing that you canhave victory over the suffering
.
This still makes me cry becauseit is hard, it is complicated,
that it isn't about making itwhat I you hear me say easy
peasy.
It isn't about taking away thetruth that that people are
(12:49):
making choices that arecomplicated for them, that are
painful for them, and thosechoices are painful for you, and
that we have interactions withpeople that are still edgy or we
still feel like we're walkingon eggshells or there's still so
much grief and pain from a pastrelationship that you're
(13:09):
working really hard to be ableto lift up from that.
And those are the taking awaythe difficulty.
It's the ability to be presentwith what is, without all the
intense suffering and thewanting it to be different, and
the attachment and the pushingand the striving that, when we
are around people who see thatwe are lighter, that we are
(13:32):
shining our light, that we arein compassion, that we have
awareness for somebody else'ssituation and we're just holding
space for them instead ofjudging them or fixing them,
that's a victory.
That's a victory Because it'snot killing us, it's not eating
us up.
That's victory that we'restanding in our strength and
(13:56):
through that people can see,they bear witness to us, they
bear witness and they see thatwe're being fortified.
We're being strengthened bysomething greater than ourselves
.
Whatever that is for you, areyou ready to step into your soul
recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
(14:16):
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on Zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the
nine-step soul recovery process,I'm here for you, but you can
also choose to work the steps onyour own, with individual
(14:37):
modules intended to support youto work at your own pace and on
your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find dailyirationon Facebook and Instagram and
(15:01):
join our private Facebookcommunity.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode, and I thinkthat when I look at where I was
seven years ago and you know Iwas working at that office where
(15:21):
it was just it had just gonewrong.
It was so toxic.
And I was having dinner withone of my best friends last
night and I was talking abouthow amazing it is that I just
have changed so much.
And she was joking with me andshe's like remember how totally
upset you used to get with thatone worker about how she used to
file papers?
And we just burst out laughingbecause I was insanely
(15:47):
controlling and upset about howthis woman did the filing.
I thought I knew better, I hada different plan, I had a
different way.
I was pissed they didn't ask mehow to set up this filing
system.
It kept me up at night.
And I look back at that now andI go.
What a waste of my time and myenergy and what a sad
(16:07):
relationship that I ended uphaving with this person.
Because she was just doing herjob, she was just filing papers,
as she was told to file papers,and I used to come in and just
I was so unkind.
Who was that person?
Who was that?
Because that is not the personwho's sitting here talking to
you today.
That's not the person who caresso deeply about this community.
(16:31):
But you know who that personwas.
That person felt out of controlin every single aspect of her
life.
That person had an alcoholichusband, an intense alcoholic
husband.
That person had two kids thatwere really struggling, one in
(16:53):
particular who was massively ondrugs and was really hitting a
wall.
And so now that I can look back,what I can see is that when
we're in the depths of our lives, where it is the hardest, where
everything just feels like it'scompletely out of control, that
(17:15):
we don't have any othersolution other than to clamp
down tightly to things thatreally don't matter, but they
feel like the only place thatyou have any ability to make a
difference or to be seen or tobe recognized.
And when I look now at the viewof it through the lens of soul
(17:35):
recovery, it goes down deeper,deeper, deeper, into all the
things we've talked about inprevious episodes, where I can
recognize my belief systems andI can see how I felt unvalued by
not being part of theconversation that I thought I
was supposed to be a part of,the conversation of, and how
somebody went and did somethingwithout my knowledge.
(17:57):
But that was really about menot being included.
It was really about me beingdiminished.
The feeling that I had aboutbeing dismissed and diminished.
That reminded me of mychildhood.
You start to realize thatthere's all these underlying
patterns and beliefs and stories.
The Course in Miracles saysyou're never upset for the
reason you think we're neverupset, for the reason we think
(18:20):
it goes so much deeper.
It's the iceberg, right?
We think that it's the thingthat's popping out of the water,
but really it's all this stuffin our subconscious down below.
Who was that person thatliterally walked into an office
and screamed and yelled andslammed the door over papers,
screamed and yelled and, youknow, slammed the door over
papers over filing a system.
(18:42):
Gosh, she was hurting, she washurting and she was lost.
But you know, life isn't thisstraight line.
It isn't about this belief thateverything's going to be
perfect and that we'll never bewithout issues.
I think that part of what Ithought the first time I ever
(19:02):
got sober, 15 years ago, and Iheard the third step, prayer God
take away my difficulties Ireally thought and prayed for
and wanted it to mean that Iwould never have any pain
anymore.
And this view that we have thatit's supposed to be easy is
(19:24):
very difficult than beingwithout suffering, the suffering
being the attachment.
And so when I think about allof the experiences that I've had
in my life, and you know I'vetold you this that I really
think that it's important thatwe don't dig around in the
graveyard of our old, painfulmemories unless there is a
(19:45):
reason to do so.
Otherwise you're ruminating,otherwise you're going in and
you're digging things up.
Because as soon as you starttelling the story just like for
me here it's like I starttelling the story all the
emotions run through, all theintensity runs through and it's
really beautiful to be able tocry and to be able to feel your
(20:08):
feelings.
But you want to make sure thatyou're doing them from the lens
of healing, of seeing yourwholeness, of recognizing that
you are a hero and you have madeit through difficulty, that you
have been through adversity andyou have survived.
And you have made it throughdifficulty, that you have been
through adversity and you havesurvived.
And you have not only that, butyou have had victory over a lot
of complex stuff in your life.
(20:28):
And when we go back and we lookand feel these stories of our
life from a place of empowermentrather than from a place of
woundedness or victimhood, weget to really stand in the
strength of who we are and weget to see and laugh at how
could I have possibly been soupset at how they filed the
(20:51):
paperwork, you know?
Because I was really hurting atthat time, I was really
struggling in my own addiction,because I was hurting underneath
on an even deeper level that mylife was not even remotely what
I thought, that I wanted it tobe, the fairy tale that I
thought that marriage would behad long, long long since eroded
(21:15):
, basically from the time that Ihad my second child, that
whatever that fairy tale wasthat had written off and that
therapist who had said to us youtwo are alcoholics.
She was right.
And if I had looked at that 28years ago and dealt with it then
(21:35):
.
But I wasn't ready to deal withit then.
So when I got sober seven yearsago, I was at one of those
points that we all talk about,this rock bottom place where I
was praying for death.
I was drinking myself to deathbecause I was so miserable in my
own life and I had left mymarriage and I had come back,
(21:57):
and so I was kind of in thisplace where it's like well, you
made your bed, you may as welllay in it, and the kids were
falling apart and things weren'tall that great.
Bodhi was the one that was likealmost kind of okay, but you
know, really he was strugglingand having some issues too.
Alex was going through somereally intense stuff.
When I got sober seven yearsago he was legally in a lot of
(22:21):
trouble.
He was oh my God.
The stuff that he went throughwas intense and I just I didn't
know if I could handle it.
So the whole idea of likegiving up alcohol at that time,
when it was literally the onlything that could keep me from
feeling, I remember pouringmyself glass of wine after glass
of wine after glass of wine outof the box, right, because I'm
(22:42):
too cheap for bottles of wineand I would say to myself I
can't drink enough to get out ofhow I feel, but I'm going to
try.
And so when it was that time tolike give that up.
You know, if you have somebodyin your life who's really having
a hard time in who they are andhow they feel and who they are,
(23:04):
the idea of giving up whatfeels like the only thing that
makes it go away feels reallyimpossible.
You know it was like well thenwhat?
And one of the things that Iwas thinking about in writing my
memoir recently was the terrorthat I had around, what it would
(23:24):
mean if I got better.
What would it mean if Iactually got better?
Because our lives were so badand so unhealthy and so
uncomfortable for me.
Now, if you go back to lastweek's episode and we talk about
how everybody gets to see itfrom their own perception and
from their own experience andhow they view it, rich to this
(23:48):
day will say I don't think itwas as bad as you think it was.
Well, it was for me, and Ithink that we have to allow
everybody to be in whateverspace that they are, because we
were not here to have somebodyelse's experience.
We're here to have our ownhero's journey.
We're here to heal ourselves ifwe so choose.
(24:09):
And for me at that time it wasreally, really, really bad
Because I knew better.
And I think this is the piecethat it's like that moment of
grace that people have when theyso choose to get well.
You can't make anyone get well.
There's a moment of grace thathappens when you know with the
depth of your soul that youdeserve more, that there's more
(24:31):
for you, that whatever thosebeliefs and patterns and stories
that were given to you from thepast, from all that woundedness
, you feel inside of you thatthere's something more, that you
deserve more, that you are more.
That's the moment, that is thestep one, soul recovery.
That's the moment where you'reready for awakening, where you
(24:52):
recognize this is about you.
And I had that moment where Irecognized it was about me.
I was terrified to change, toget better, because it might
mean that I had to leaveeverything that I would have to
walk away from the life in whichI had created, as uncomfortable
as it was.
It was mine, these were my kids, this was my husband, this was
(25:15):
my house, this was my job.
Right?
This is my identity.
Was my house, this was my job?
Right, this is my identity.
And at the same time, I hadthis calling that just said
you've got to save yourself, youdeserve it.
Was I willing to blow up mylife to be healed for myself?
Was I willing to get out of thedrowning pool with everyone
(25:38):
drowning around me and savemyself?
And the answer was yes, I was.
I was finally ready, and youknow my story, which is I'm
incredibly lucky that, for themost part, we're all so much
better, and the truth is, we areso much better, but we're not
(25:59):
perfect and it're not perfectand it's not perfect and it's
not without hardship and it'snot without realness.
And I think that's one of thethings that you continue to come
back to me and say thank youfor, for showing how you've done
this work and the honesty thatit there's.
There is no perfect, there's nohappily ever after.
(26:22):
It is about being able to bewith what is and let your heart
break wide open at times whenyou do feel hurt, when your
spouse does say things that areunkind.
That gives you the strength tolet your kids fall down.
That gives you the strength tobe able to love them enough to
(26:43):
have their own experience and tocheer them on with just the
most honest, beautiful part ofyourself that says I see you as
whole, I see you, I see you,those choices that you make,
those are your choices, but Iknow that you are whole, you are
not broken and I will not seeyou as broken.
And to be in a relationshipwith somebody who is not going
(27:06):
to give you everything that youneed, but to not be willing to
stand up for anything less thanlove and compassion for yourself
first and foremost, and thenthat ends up shining a light on
the people around you to show upfor you how they can, but to
the best that they have.
(27:26):
We raise the energy, we raisethe bar, and that's what's
happened in my family.
Rich is now sober, right.
So he would be seven yearssober on Monday, when this airs
as well on the 10th, if he hadmade that choice.
He did not make that choice.
Within the past year or so, hehas finally let go of drinking
(27:48):
Again.
I don't ask him, I don't harpon him about it.
Bodhi is 99% sober, which is anabsolute miracle If you listen
to the episode that he did wherehe shared what was his wake up
call, his moment, and Alex wavesin and out of his sobriety
(28:10):
seasons and he's still workingon it, and he and his girlfriend
have a baby coming, which I amso, so, so, so excited.
It's going to be born here inthe middle of February and
that's why I'm going to be outin Sacramento a lot and I'm
doing retreats and workshops upthere, because I'm going to be
visiting them and the littlebaby and you know, we're going
(28:32):
to see how that all goes.
But I am not the person whoraged at somebody over filing
papers, and that that isgratitude.
I'm not somebody who has levelnine anxiety every single day,
and that's gratitude.
I'm somebody who is notdepressed, and that's gratitude.
(28:55):
I'm someone who's not analcoholic, and that is gratitude
.
But it's been through workingthe nine steps of soul recovery
and revisiting them daily andbeing present with the moment
and allowing myself to fullyimmerse in my life and to begin
to ask myself questions that Inever would before.
(29:17):
And they continue to be alongthe lines of who am I brought
here to be?
How can I be my fullest self?
How can I heal myself moredeeply?
May I shine my own light, may Ibe removed of the bondage of
self so that I can be my wholeself and through that I show
(29:39):
others.
But I'm not here to makeanybody else change.
I'm not here to fix anybody.
I'm not here to fix my husbandor my kids or even you.
I'm here to shine my own lightand to be in my own experience,
my own soul's earth schoolcurriculum.
And you know what?
Some days are beautiful andblissful and I feel connected,
(30:03):
and other days are overwhelmingand stressful, and that's called
being a human being.
Some days I have a beautifulmarriage, some days it is not
all that great.
Some days my kids are good,sometimes they're struggling.
Sometimes I can block outwhat's happening in the world
and the stress and the fear thatis around, and some days and
(30:25):
see the light and send light andlove.
And sometimes I feel thatpressure and the fear because
I'm a human being.
That is the hero's journey.
This is the journey that we'reall on, and if we stop giving
ourselves so much critical voiceabout who we should be, voice
(30:51):
about who we should be, how weshould be for whom, and
comparing ourselves to everybodyelse, and stepping into your
own soul recovery, looking atthe patterns, being willing to
look deeply at those parts ofyourself that need healing, that
are ready to be updated, tostep in with a higher power, to
truly, truly connect tosomething greater still and feel
that, knowing that you're neveralone, you're never alone To
(31:17):
step into your fullness, to seethe beauty of who you are, who
you were brought here to be, andto be courageous enough to make
big shifts and big changes.
If that is in the right plan,if you need to blow up your life
and walk away from the peoplethat are making different
(31:38):
choices that don't align withyou anymore.
It's okay, gosh, to giveourselves permission to be happy
, to be joyous, to be free tochoose a life that aligns with
us, and I get how complicatedthat is.
I get how complicated that canbe, and it's not about being
(31:59):
perfect every day.
It's actually about lettingperfection go.
It's about stepping into yourauthentic self and loving
yourself for all of it, thelight and the dark, and learning
to love the people around youfor their light and their dark.
It is an absolute miracle thatI have not drank for seven years
(32:20):
, and it's strange, honestly, tolook back at pictures and see
pictures with me with a beer orglass of wine in my hand, and I
see the checkout in my eyes.
I see the deep sadness that wasin my eyes and the gratitude is
(32:40):
that I have new eyes now, newcells, new neuron paths, but I'm
still just me, still just here,figuring it out.
We're doing it together.
Wherever you are is where youstart, and one of the things
that I love is that today is anew day.
So if there's something in yourlife that is an addiction, or a
(33:03):
behavior or a place where you'rechecking out or controlling
control is an addiction it'stime to ask yourself some
questions.
It's time to ask yourself whoyou were brought here to be.
Who is your full, whole self?
Who is your soul calling you tobe, and are you ready and
(33:28):
willing to step out and to letgo of all that doesn't serve you
and to become the fullness ofwho you were brought here to be,
to follow the will, yourwholeness of source?
That's the calling, that's theask.
So I'm going to keep being me,which means that some days it's
(33:48):
pretty good and some days it'sthe calling, that's the ask.
So I'm going to keep being me,which means that some days
that's pretty good and some daysit's pretty hard.
I'm going to keep sharing mystory with you.
I'm going to keep working hard,leading the soul recovery
community and gratitude for therecovery soul podcast.
I'm going to continue workingthese steps every day in my life
, revisiting them.
It's a circle.
It's not something you do justonce.
(34:09):
It's a circle and I'm justgoing to continue having my
focus being on my own healing,first and foremost, to be my
most authentic, connected selfwith myself first and then,
through that, reflecting into myfamily and out into the world,
(34:30):
through that reflecting into myfamily and out into the world
Until next time, namaste.
Thank you for listening and Ihope that that helps support
your soul recovery process.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the Recover your Soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
(34:51):
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the website Reoursoulnetor check out the show links
below for coupons andinformation for upcoming events.
(35:13):
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
If you have found this podcast, it's likely
that you are struggling withcodependency or people pleasing
or you have someone in your lifewho is an addict.
I was all of those things.
I was an addict, I was acodependent, I had an alcoholic
husband, I had complex kids withtheir own addiction and ADHD.
I had a period of my life whereI felt completely overwhelmed,
(00:23):
completely lost, completely,just in despair over what was
happening in my life.
Where I felt completelyoverwhelmed, completely lost,
completely, just in despair overwhat was happening in my life.
And it has been seven yearssince I had that moment of grace
where I decided to save myself.
This episode talks about myrecovery from alcoholism, from
codependence, from peoplepleasing.
That created what I now callsoul recovery.
(00:45):
We can indeed heal, we canindeed shine our light, and in
that we learn how to be thisincredible beacon of light for
others, but not to fix or changethem, but for us to live our
fullest self, to live a lifethat we choose.
And when I look back sevenyears ago on what my life was
(01:09):
like compared to what it istoday, it's a totally different
life, but it didn't just happen.
I created it with higher power,I worked hard on it.
I used the nine-step soulrecovery process to transform
who I was completely and when Ireflect back, I have such
gratitude for the whole journey,even the hard times.
(01:30):
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast a spiritual path to a
happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
(01:51):
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives, as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
(02:13):
Welcome back to the Recoveryyour Soul podcast.
I'm Rev Rachel.
This is not just a podcast,this is a community, and it's a
community that's grown out of myrecovery from alcoholism.
And today, february 10, the daythat this airs, marks my seven
years sober.
And it's a really profound timefor me every time this time of
(02:36):
year comes around for reflection, because there has been so much
that has changed in my life, somuch transformation that's
changed, and letting go ofalcohol was just a tiny little
part of it just a little tinypart of it.
What I recognize is thatalcohol was a way that I was
shutting down, checking out fromwhat was a life that was really
(03:00):
complicated and really painfulfor me, and it's interesting
that I was a little resistant tothis episode.
It's interesting becauseusually I want to really share
with you about what's going onwith me, and this should be a
big day of celebration and onsome level it totally is this
huge level of celebration that Iwas able to put down drinking.
(03:22):
So many of you, so many of you,came here because of Al-Anon.
You came here because ofcodependence.
You searched something that'sin one of the titles of my
podcast or something that I talkabout, and you have someone in
your life who's struggling withalcohol or with addiction of
some sort, some sort ofdysfunction, some sort of
behavior that is wrecking them,and I was that person.
(03:45):
So this idea that I made it outSee, I'm crying already this
idea that I made it out and madeit to the other side is pretty
profound.
To the other side is prettyprofound.
(04:12):
My oldest son is 28 years oldand it was in a therapy
appointment, when I was pregnantwith him, that this therapist
looked at my husband and myselfand said you know, the real
issue that you guys have is thatyou're alcoholics, and both of
us were just not wanting to lookat that at all.
You know, that was not what wewanted.
Alcohol was still such asolution for us.
It was such a way that we hadfun or that we were bound
(04:35):
together.
For me, it was such a solutionon how I handled what felt very
uncomfortable in my life, whichwas other people not being okay.
From a very young age I had thatawareness that when someone
else wasn't okay, I didn't knowwhat to do with that, and so I
didn't discover drinking until Iwas 21.
(04:55):
I drank a little bit in highschool at my senior year and
would just get so violently sickevery single time.
And then I drank a little bitin college, with the same
results.
I did discover pot and wasbetter at smoking pot.
But when I turned 21, I workedat a restaurant and one of the
(05:15):
things that you got at the endof the shift was a shift drink,
and somewhere along the lines Idiscovered a Long Island iced
tea.
That put me into a place whereeverything that hurt went away.
If I look back now I can seethat my drinking was not normal
from the beginning.
I still used to get sick a lot,which is so crazy that you
(05:36):
think somebody who used to throwup a mouth that I did would
want to do something else.
But I just kept thinking if Ican do this better, if I can
figure out how to do this better, because it took away the part
that was really hard to be inthe world, the part that it is
the solution for the part whereI could feel okay in my skin, I
(05:57):
could be around other people.
And when I really look now athow far I've come in my life not
just the last seven years, butwe're all on this journey you
know we don't give ourselvesenough credit for the incredible
, incredible hero's journey thatwe're all on.
And we all have issues.
(06:17):
We all have things that we do,things that we are addicted to,
behaviors that we fall back onas protections or ways to
protect ourselves when we're infear or in pain.
We have ways that we try tocontrol the world Instead of
seeing ourselves in some sort ofgrip of not doing things right.
(06:39):
What if we changed it?
What if you saw that you areindeed actually doing this human
experience, that it iscomplicated, that it is complex,
as I often say, and when I lookback on my 55 years of life,
there's so much to unpack.
(07:00):
And that's what soul recoveryis all about.
That's what this journey thatI've discovered through healing
from alcoholism and codependence, has really been a journey on
how to heal and how to makepeace with being a human being,
because it's not easy to be ahuman being, and I think that
part of my resistance in wantingto share today still so weepy,
(07:30):
is that even though there's somuch change for so much better
in my life and I don't havelevel nine anxiety or depression
like I used to, it's still hard.
You know, life is stillcomplicated and on some level it
continues to deepen my opening,the cracking open of our heart
(07:55):
that we are all so afraid to do,because it is painful to feel
these feelings so deeply.
And at the same time, there issuch an enormous opportunity for
us to understand ourselvesbetter, our soul's journey
better, to look at this earthschool that we're on and to be
(08:16):
curious about this incredibleride that we've been on this
hero's journey.
And so, in reflection of sevenyears, it is interesting to me
because, you know, seven yearsis that marker that they say
that, and I think I've said thisin a recent podcast.
But they say that your cellsall regenerate every seven years
(08:38):
.
You know, not all at once, butslowly over time.
And so after a seven yearperiod, there is this truth that
every cell in your body hasbeen updated.
Every cell in your body hasbeen updated.
And if I look at pictures ofmyself seven years ago, if I
think about where I was sevenyears ago, it's just so, so
(09:02):
vastly different from how I usedto see the world, how I used to
show up in the world.
And yet, at the same time,there's this part of me that
continues to be curious aboutwhy it has to be so complex.
Still, you know, in the thirdstep prayer in AA, which I still
use as part of the soulrecovery process, it says God, I
(09:26):
offer myself to you to buildwith me and do with me as you
will Relieve me of the bondageof self so I can better do your
will and take away mydifficulties.
That victory over them can bearwitness to those that I can
help with your power and yourlove and your way of life.
May I do your will always.
And in soul recovery, what I'vecome to recognize is the will
(09:50):
of source, the will of spirit,of God, of higher power,
whatever that is for you, and insoul recovery it's so important
that you're picking what thatis for you.
I'm not here to tell you whatthat is, but my true belief is
that, whatever that higher poweris for you, if you can stand up
and see that the will of theuniverse is never for you to be
(10:13):
small.
The will of the universe is foryou to be amazing, to stand in
your fullness, to recognize eachgift that you have, to stand in
the adversity and the hardshipand to know that you're here to
shine a light on the world, thatyour soul was brought here on
purpose, to be full, to be whole, to recognize your wholeness
(10:38):
You've heard me say that overand over to remember there's
nothing wrong with you, you arenot broken.
That, to me, is that line, andit's about co-creating with a
power higher than ourselves, nothanding over, not not being
part of it, but buildingtogether to build together, to
(10:59):
do it together so that we canbetter be our wholeness.
And then it says remove thebondage of self.
And that bondage of self.
Still, it's amazing how, evenafter you know, 55 years of life
and seven years of dedicated,so much of my time is dedicated
to spirituality andself-improvement and spiritual
(11:22):
growth.
And you know, digging in thereand taking a look around and
being connected, we have thisability to be so hard on
ourselves, to compare ourselvesto everybody else, to look and
say they are doing it better.
Somebody else is this there'ssomebody else is that, instead
(11:43):
of recognizing that that's justour bondage of self, it's just
our ego who is in a fight orflight, that's in those old, old
parts of our brain that isaround fear.
And so this beautifulopportunity to be removed of the
bondage of self so I can betterdo your will, so I can better
stand in my wholeness, so I canbetter be my full expression of
(12:06):
self that you were brought hereto be.
And then the last one is takeaway my difficulties.
The victory over them can bearwitness to those that I can help
with your power and your loveand your way of life.
And you know, as a recovered,codependent and people pleaser,
helping is not helping by doingfor them.
(12:28):
Helping is showing that you canhave victory over the suffering
.
This still makes me cry becauseit is hard, it is complicated,
that it isn't about making itwhat I you hear me say easy
peasy.
It isn't about taking away thetruth that that people are
(12:49):
making choices that arecomplicated for them, that are
painful for them, and thosechoices are painful for you, and
that we have interactions withpeople that are still edgy or we
still feel like we're walkingon eggshells or there's still so
much grief and pain from a pastrelationship that you're
(13:09):
working really hard to be ableto lift up from that.
And those are the taking awaythe difficulty.
It's the ability to be presentwith what is, without all the
intense suffering and thewanting it to be different, and
the attachment and the pushingand the striving that, when we
are around people who see thatwe are lighter, that we are
(13:32):
shining our light, that we arein compassion, that we have
awareness for somebody else'ssituation and we're just holding
space for them instead ofjudging them or fixing them,
that's a victory.
That's a victory Because it'snot killing us, it's not eating
us up.
That's victory that we'restanding in our strength and
(13:56):
through that people can see,they bear witness to us, they
bear witness and they see thatwe're being fortified.
We're being strengthened bysomething greater than ourselves
.
Whatever that is for you, areyou ready to step into your soul
recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
(14:16):
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on Zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the
nine-step soul recovery process,I'm here for you, but you can
also choose to work the steps onyour own, with individual
(14:37):
modules intended to support youto work at your own pace and on
your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people sharing
soul recovery tips for us andalso do spiritual book studies.
You can also find dailyirationon Facebook and Instagram and
(15:01):
join our private Facebookcommunity.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode, and I thinkthat when I look at where I was
seven years ago and you know Iwas working at that office where
(15:21):
it was just it had just gonewrong.
It was so toxic.
And I was having dinner withone of my best friends last
night and I was talking abouthow amazing it is that I just
have changed so much.
And she was joking with me andshe's like remember how totally
upset you used to get with thatone worker about how she used to
file papers?
And we just burst out laughingbecause I was insanely
(15:47):
controlling and upset about howthis woman did the filing.
I thought I knew better, I hada different plan, I had a
different way.
I was pissed they didn't ask mehow to set up this filing
system.
It kept me up at night.
And I look back at that now andI go.
What a waste of my time and myenergy and what a sad
(16:07):
relationship that I ended uphaving with this person.
Because she was just doing herjob, she was just filing papers,
as she was told to file papers,and I used to come in and just
I was so unkind.
Who was that person?
Who was that?
Because that is not the personwho's sitting here talking to
you today.
That's not the person who caresso deeply about this community.
(16:31):
But you know who that personwas.
That person felt out of controlin every single aspect of her
life.
That person had an alcoholichusband, an intense alcoholic
husband.
That person had two kids thatwere really struggling, one in
(16:53):
particular who was massively ondrugs and was really hitting a
wall.
And so now that I can look back,what I can see is that when
we're in the depths of our lives, where it is the hardest, where
everything just feels like it'scompletely out of control, that
(17:15):
we don't have any othersolution other than to clamp
down tightly to things thatreally don't matter, but they
feel like the only place thatyou have any ability to make a
difference or to be seen or tobe recognized.
And when I look now at the viewof it through the lens of soul
(17:35):
recovery, it goes down deeper,deeper, deeper, into all the
things we've talked about inprevious episodes, where I can
recognize my belief systems andI can see how I felt unvalued by
not being part of theconversation that I thought I
was supposed to be a part of,the conversation of, and how
somebody went and did somethingwithout my knowledge.
(17:57):
But that was really about menot being included.
It was really about me beingdiminished.
The feeling that I had aboutbeing dismissed and diminished.
That reminded me of mychildhood.
You start to realize thatthere's all these underlying
patterns and beliefs and stories.
The Course in Miracles saysyou're never upset for the
reason you think we're neverupset, for the reason we think
(18:20):
it goes so much deeper.
It's the iceberg, right?
We think that it's the thingthat's popping out of the water,
but really it's all this stuffin our subconscious down below.
Who was that person thatliterally walked into an office
and screamed and yelled andslammed the door over papers,
screamed and yelled and, youknow, slammed the door over
papers over filing a system.
(18:42):
Gosh, she was hurting, she washurting and she was lost.
But you know, life isn't thisstraight line.
It isn't about this belief thateverything's going to be
perfect and that we'll never bewithout issues.
I think that part of what Ithought the first time I ever
(19:02):
got sober, 15 years ago, and Iheard the third step, prayer God
take away my difficulties Ireally thought and prayed for
and wanted it to mean that Iwould never have any pain
anymore.
And this view that we have thatit's supposed to be easy is
(19:24):
very difficult than beingwithout suffering, the suffering
being the attachment.
And so when I think about allof the experiences that I've had
in my life, and you know I'vetold you this that I really
think that it's important thatwe don't dig around in the
graveyard of our old, painfulmemories unless there is a
(19:45):
reason to do so.
Otherwise you're ruminating,otherwise you're going in and
you're digging things up.
Because as soon as you starttelling the story just like for
me here it's like I starttelling the story all the
emotions run through, all theintensity runs through and it's
really beautiful to be able tocry and to be able to feel your
(20:08):
feelings.
But you want to make sure thatyou're doing them from the lens
of healing, of seeing yourwholeness, of recognizing that
you are a hero and you have madeit through difficulty, that you
have been through adversity andyou have survived.
And you have made it throughdifficulty, that you have been
through adversity and you havesurvived.
And you have not only that, butyou have had victory over a lot
of complex stuff in your life.
(20:28):
And when we go back and we lookand feel these stories of our
life from a place of empowermentrather than from a place of
woundedness or victimhood, weget to really stand in the
strength of who we are and weget to see and laugh at how
could I have possibly been soupset at how they filed the
(20:51):
paperwork, you know?
Because I was really hurting atthat time, I was really
struggling in my own addiction,because I was hurting underneath
on an even deeper level that mylife was not even remotely what
I thought, that I wanted it tobe, the fairy tale that I
thought that marriage would behad long, long long since eroded
(21:15):
, basically from the time that Ihad my second child, that
whatever that fairy tale wasthat had written off and that
therapist who had said to us youtwo are alcoholics.
She was right.
And if I had looked at that 28years ago and dealt with it then
(21:35):
.
But I wasn't ready to deal withit then.
So when I got sober seven yearsago, I was at one of those
points that we all talk about,this rock bottom place where I
was praying for death.
I was drinking myself to deathbecause I was so miserable in my
own life and I had left mymarriage and I had come back,
(21:57):
and so I was kind of in thisplace where it's like well, you
made your bed, you may as welllay in it, and the kids were
falling apart and things weren'tall that great.
Bodhi was the one that was likealmost kind of okay, but you
know, really he was strugglingand having some issues too.
Alex was going through somereally intense stuff.
When I got sober seven yearsago he was legally in a lot of
(22:21):
trouble.
He was oh my God.
The stuff that he went throughwas intense and I just I didn't
know if I could handle it.
So the whole idea of likegiving up alcohol at that time,
when it was literally the onlything that could keep me from
feeling, I remember pouringmyself glass of wine after glass
of wine after glass of wine outof the box, right, because I'm
(22:42):
too cheap for bottles of wineand I would say to myself I
can't drink enough to get out ofhow I feel, but I'm going to
try.
And so when it was that time tolike give that up.
You know, if you have somebodyin your life who's really having
a hard time in who they are andhow they feel and who they are,
(23:04):
the idea of giving up whatfeels like the only thing that
makes it go away feels reallyimpossible.
You know it was like well thenwhat?
And one of the things that Iwas thinking about in writing my
memoir recently was the terrorthat I had around, what it would
(23:24):
mean if I got better.
What would it mean if Iactually got better?
Because our lives were so badand so unhealthy and so
uncomfortable for me.
Now, if you go back to lastweek's episode and we talk about
how everybody gets to see itfrom their own perception and
from their own experience andhow they view it, rich to this
(23:48):
day will say I don't think itwas as bad as you think it was.
Well, it was for me, and Ithink that we have to allow
everybody to be in whateverspace that they are, because we
were not here to have somebodyelse's experience.
We're here to have our ownhero's journey.
We're here to heal ourselves ifwe so choose.
(24:09):
And for me at that time it wasreally, really, really bad
Because I knew better.
And I think this is the piecethat it's like that moment of
grace that people have when theyso choose to get well.
You can't make anyone get well.
There's a moment of grace thathappens when you know with the
depth of your soul that youdeserve more, that there's more
(24:31):
for you, that whatever thosebeliefs and patterns and stories
that were given to you from thepast, from all that woundedness
, you feel inside of you thatthere's something more, that you
deserve more, that you are more.
That's the moment, that is thestep one, soul recovery.
That's the moment where you'reready for awakening, where you
(24:52):
recognize this is about you.
And I had that moment where Irecognized it was about me.
I was terrified to change, toget better, because it might
mean that I had to leaveeverything that I would have to
walk away from the life in whichI had created, as uncomfortable
as it was.
It was mine, these were my kids, this was my husband, this was
(25:15):
my house, this was my job.
Right?
This is my identity.
Was my house, this was my job?
Right, this is my identity.
And at the same time, I hadthis calling that just said
you've got to save yourself, youdeserve it.
Was I willing to blow up mylife to be healed for myself?
Was I willing to get out of thedrowning pool with everyone
(25:38):
drowning around me and savemyself?
And the answer was yes, I was.
I was finally ready, and youknow my story, which is I'm
incredibly lucky that, for themost part, we're all so much
better, and the truth is, we areso much better, but we're not
(25:59):
perfect and it're not perfectand it's not perfect and it's
not without hardship and it'snot without realness.
And I think that's one of thethings that you continue to come
back to me and say thank youfor, for showing how you've done
this work and the honesty thatit there's.
There is no perfect, there's nohappily ever after.
(26:22):
It is about being able to bewith what is and let your heart
break wide open at times whenyou do feel hurt, when your
spouse does say things that areunkind.
That gives you the strength tolet your kids fall down.
That gives you the strength tobe able to love them enough to
(26:43):
have their own experience and tocheer them on with just the
most honest, beautiful part ofyourself that says I see you as
whole, I see you, I see you,those choices that you make,
those are your choices, but Iknow that you are whole, you are
not broken and I will not seeyou as broken.
And to be in a relationshipwith somebody who is not going
(27:06):
to give you everything that youneed, but to not be willing to
stand up for anything less thanlove and compassion for yourself
first and foremost, and thenthat ends up shining a light on
the people around you to show upfor you how they can, but to
the best that they have.
(27:26):
We raise the energy, we raisethe bar, and that's what's
happened in my family.
Rich is now sober, right.
So he would be seven yearssober on Monday, when this airs
as well on the 10th, if he hadmade that choice.
He did not make that choice.
Within the past year or so, hehas finally let go of drinking
(27:48):
Again.
I don't ask him, I don't harpon him about it.
Bodhi is 99% sober, which is anabsolute miracle If you listen
to the episode that he did wherehe shared what was his wake up
call, his moment, and Alex wavesin and out of his sobriety
(28:10):
seasons and he's still workingon it, and he and his girlfriend
have a baby coming, which I amso, so, so, so excited.
It's going to be born here inthe middle of February and
that's why I'm going to be outin Sacramento a lot and I'm
doing retreats and workshops upthere, because I'm going to be
visiting them and the littlebaby and you know, we're going
(28:32):
to see how that all goes.
But I am not the person whoraged at somebody over filing
papers, and that that isgratitude.
I'm not somebody who has levelnine anxiety every single day,
and that's gratitude.
I'm somebody who is notdepressed, and that's gratitude.
(28:55):
I'm someone who's not analcoholic, and that is gratitude
.
But it's been through workingthe nine steps of soul recovery
and revisiting them daily andbeing present with the moment
and allowing myself to fullyimmerse in my life and to begin
to ask myself questions that Inever would before.
(29:17):
And they continue to be alongthe lines of who am I brought
here to be?
How can I be my fullest self?
How can I heal myself moredeeply?
May I shine my own light, may Ibe removed of the bondage of
self so that I can be my wholeself and through that I show
(29:39):
others.
But I'm not here to makeanybody else change.
I'm not here to fix anybody.
I'm not here to fix my husbandor my kids or even you.
I'm here to shine my own lightand to be in my own experience,
my own soul's earth schoolcurriculum.
And you know what?
Some days are beautiful andblissful and I feel connected,
(30:03):
and other days are overwhelmingand stressful, and that's called
being a human being.
Some days I have a beautifulmarriage, some days it is not
all that great.
Some days my kids are good,sometimes they're struggling.
Sometimes I can block outwhat's happening in the world
and the stress and the fear thatis around, and some days and
(30:25):
see the light and send light andlove.
And sometimes I feel thatpressure and the fear because
I'm a human being.
That is the hero's journey.
This is the journey that we'reall on, and if we stop giving
ourselves so much critical voiceabout who we should be, voice
(30:51):
about who we should be, how weshould be for whom, and
comparing ourselves to everybodyelse, and stepping into your
own soul recovery, looking atthe patterns, being willing to
look deeply at those parts ofyourself that need healing, that
are ready to be updated, tostep in with a higher power, to
truly, truly connect tosomething greater still and feel
that, knowing that you're neveralone, you're never alone To
(31:17):
step into your fullness, to seethe beauty of who you are, who
you were brought here to be, andto be courageous enough to make
big shifts and big changes.
If that is in the right plan,if you need to blow up your life
and walk away from the peoplethat are making different
(31:38):
choices that don't align withyou anymore.
It's okay, gosh, to giveourselves permission to be happy
, to be joyous, to be free tochoose a life that aligns with
us, and I get how complicatedthat is.
I get how complicated that canbe, and it's not about being
(31:59):
perfect every day.
It's actually about lettingperfection go.
It's about stepping into yourauthentic self and loving
yourself for all of it, thelight and the dark, and learning
to love the people around youfor their light and their dark.
It is an absolute miracle thatI have not drank for seven years
(32:20):
, and it's strange, honestly, tolook back at pictures and see
pictures with me with a beer orglass of wine in my hand, and I
see the checkout in my eyes.
I see the deep sadness that wasin my eyes and the gratitude is
(32:40):
that I have new eyes now, newcells, new neuron paths, but I'm
still just me, still just here,figuring it out.
We're doing it together.
Wherever you are is where youstart, and one of the things
that I love is that today is anew day.
So if there's something in yourlife that is an addiction, or a
(33:03):
behavior or a place where you'rechecking out or controlling
control is an addiction it'stime to ask yourself some
questions.
It's time to ask yourself whoyou were brought here to be.
Who is your full, whole self?
Who is your soul calling you tobe, and are you ready and
(33:28):
willing to step out and to letgo of all that doesn't serve you
and to become the fullness ofwho you were brought here to be,
to follow the will, yourwholeness of source?
That's the calling, that's theask.
So I'm going to keep being me,which means that some days it's
(33:48):
pretty good and some days it'sthe calling, that's the ask.
So I'm going to keep being me,which means that some days
that's pretty good and some daysit's pretty hard.
I'm going to keep sharing mystory with you.
I'm going to keep working hard,leading the soul recovery
community and gratitude for therecovery soul podcast.
I'm going to continue workingthese steps every day in my life
, revisiting them.
It's a circle.
It's not something you do justonce.
(34:09):
It's a circle and I'm justgoing to continue having my
focus being on my own healing,first and foremost, to be my
most authentic, connected selfwith myself first and then,
through that, reflecting into myfamily and out into the world,
(34:30):
through that reflecting into myfamily and out into the world
Until next time, namaste.
Thank you for listening and Ihope that that helps support
your soul recovery process.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the Recover your Soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
(34:51):
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the website Reoursoulnetor check out the show links
below for coupons andinformation for upcoming events.
(35:13):
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
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