April 21, 2025 • 33 mins
Send one way text to Rev Rachel
What if one simple phrase could shift the way you see yourself—and your entire healing journey? In this episode of the Recover Your Soul Podcast, Rev Rachel introduces a powerful spiritual tool: the phrase “of course.”
This gentle, compassionate practice invites you to look at your past behaviors, choices, and patterns through the lens of grace rather than shame. Instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?” you begin to affirm: Of course I did the best I could with what I had.
Through the lens of Soul Recovery, this phrase becomes a doorway to deep self-love and the release of shame. It allows you to soften judgment, forgive yourself, and come back to the truth:
✨ You are not broken—you are remembering your wholeness.
✨ Of course you are worthy. Of course you are lovable. Of course you can heal.
Let
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Episode Transcript
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Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
Isn't it interesting that we can be so
hard on ourselves, and it's soeasy to be hard on ourselves and
critical, but it's a lot harderto give yourself grace and
compassion, and that grace andcompassion is the opening of the
door to self love.
Today's episode is talkingabout a very specific tool, a
tool that allows you to seewhere you were and to give
(00:24):
yourself compassion in each oneof those moments.
Of course you made thosechoices, of course you felt that
way.
When we use the term, of coursethere's an enormous amount of
healing, there's enormous amountof awareness and
self-compassion that can comeflooding in and give yourself
permission to be where you wereat that time.
(00:45):
And once you know how you felt,where you came from, what was
going on with you, then ofcourse there's movement forward,
there's healing for you,there's soul recovery.
Of course there is.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast a spiritual path to a
(01:05):
happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives as mine
(01:26):
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Welcome to the Recovery SoulPodcasting community.
I'm Rev Rachel.
I'm just so glad that we're allhere together on this soul
(01:49):
recovery journey.
Just again and again, I justhave such gratitude about how my
journey of learning how to beokay when the people around me
weren't okay, and my journey ofrecovery from alcoholism, which,
for me, in my personalsituation my drinking really was
a way to try to numb thefeeling that I felt around
(02:09):
codependency, this uncomfortablefeeling that I had around what
other people were feeling, otherpeople were thinking and how
much pressure I felt to takecare of everyone else.
And so, of course, I did.
Of course I found a way to numbmyself, and today's episode
we're going to be talking aboutthis self acceptance.
(02:30):
We're going to be talking abouthow to really deepen this part
of really giving yourself gracefor where you have been, and, of
course, you have this tool thathas come to me using this word
specifically, of course has beenreally powerful in my life and
it came a while ago, so I wantedto tell you the journey of
where it came from and then howI'm hearing it more and more in
(02:54):
other places and how it makessense that it's this opportunity
for us to really step into ourself acceptance and self love,
because, ultimately, at thefoundation of so much of our
pain and suffering, so much ofwhat's going on inside of us, is
something inside that thinksthat we're not worthy, that
we're broken, that we're notenough, we're unlovable, that
(03:17):
there's something wrong with us.
And when we look at it from thesoul recovery perspective, from
the spiritual perspective,which is the greater perspective
this is the spiritual journey,this is what spirituality is all
about is bringing you to aplace where you begin to see
that that's not true but you arewhole, that you are enough,
(03:38):
that you are loved, that you areworthy, innately worthy, all on
your own.
You don't have to deserve it.
But that's not how we wereraised, that's not how it was
when we were growing up and, tobe honest, it's amazing.
We're in this new consciousness, we're in this state where
there's more and moreopportunity for us to have these
(03:59):
kinds of conversations, for usto actually look on a deeper
level at ourselves and to breakthese generational traumas,
these generational ways of beingthat slowly, slowly and
sometimes not on purpose, andsometimes on purpose, we're
continuing this path.
That said, there's somethingwrong with you.
(04:20):
You're not enough.
Who do you think you are?
Is such a common thing thatcomes?
Who do you think you are?
What if we think we are theheart of spirit?
What if we think that we aredeserving?
What if we think that we areenough?
What if we do recognize that weare the expression of creation
(04:41):
itself, that we are divine, thatwe are beautiful, that we are
whole?
It would change everything, butwhat the first step is is for
us to really recognize where itcame from.
And we're in the Easter seasonand I'm not going to go into a
whole religious or if I wasbeing Rev Rachel, I would do at
(05:03):
a virtual center.
I would do a whole other thingand I don't want to do that.
But what I do want to mentionis that when I grew up as a
Buddhist and we didn't reallyhave Easter and I started going
to Unity Church in my 30s, andwhat Unity taught the
metaphysical interpretation ofEaster, and again, I want you to
take whatever is yours and holdwhat is yours.
I'm not you to take whatever isyours and hold what is yours.
(05:25):
I'm not trying to give youanything that isn't what you
already have in your heart.
I think there's space for allof it.
Nothing is right or wrong, butwhat I learned in unity was this
is a time of Easter is really atime of releasing the
crucifixion that we have withinourself.
That this part that Jesusshowed us was that you have to
have a personal crucifixion thatwe have within ourself.
That this part that Jesusshowed us was that you have to
(05:47):
have a personal crucifixion tohave a resurrection, to have a
letting go, but first you haveto go through this darkness to
move into the light, andwhatever that is for you,
whatever the Easter season orPassover season is for you.
I just celebrated Passover.
I've never done a PassoverSeder before, but I did that
(06:08):
with Alex's girlfriend.
Lexi's family is Jewish and soher mom lives here in Sacramento
as well now, and so we did anactual Seder and read through
the whole Seder.
And again, it's around freedom,it's around this letting go,
it's around love, recognizinglove, and also this piece that
says forgive them.
They know not what they do, butwhat I want to offer is that
(06:32):
we're in a place where we'resaying I forgive myself because
I did not know, and in soulrecovery, my hope is that it's
this slow and steady spiritualprocess of awakening to who you
are for real, not all theoutside stuff, not all the I
have tos, not all the who I'msupposed to be, or what my
(06:53):
mother said, or what my fathersaid, or what my aunts or uncles
said, but who I know withinmyself self that I am, and it is
this divine, loving, essentialelement of who you are.
That is the wholeness.
But of course we don't knowthat until we start to move into
(07:16):
this awakened state.
Of course we respond and reactout of our woundedness when it's
all that we have.
So I want to move into this ofcourse tool and the way that I
came into this word, that justthis phrase, maybe it's of
course two words.
So this phrase that came to meso intensely was long before I
(07:38):
became Rev Rachel and was doingthe podcast.
It was through Al-Anon andthrough AA and I had done the 12
steps with sponsors and then Iwas sponsoring people and
working with people on theirfifth step, where you are
sharing your fourth step, whichis your personal inventory.
(07:59):
And the fifth step is whereyou're expressing everything and
you're talking about it alltogether.
I had had a sponsor who I hadwritten things out in a very
Rachel way, a more general way,a more you know, kind of looking
more deeply at what the biggerissues were, and I got in
(08:19):
trouble for that which is funny,because you know how I don't
like to get in trouble I got introuble for that.
She said no, no, no, you'redoing it wrong.
You need to go back the waythat it's done here and each
sponsor is different.
Each one of the ways thatgroups or what was taught do it
are different.
But what she said, what you dohere, is you do it this very
specific way.
So I need you to go back and dothat very specifically.
(08:42):
And so I did and it gave, Ithink, some relief.
I think it did some of what itwanted to happen.
But when I started working withpeople, what I found was that,
as they were relaying theirstory to me, I found myself
saying to them, as they werereally sharing these deep
memories, these resentments,these pains, these things that
(09:05):
had happened in their life, andthen a wave of compassion came
over me, where the words thatjust came out were well, of
course you responded in thisparticular way.
Of course you did Look whathappened, look at how that felt
to you.
And that was the foundation ofwhat I began to work with when
(09:26):
the nine step soul recoveryprocess began to form was how do
I take the 12 steps, which havea purpose, absolutely have a
purpose, never trying to takethem away from what they are in
Al-Anon or AA If you're in thoseprograms, highly recommend you
do them exactly the way that itwas dictated, just like I had to
go back and do it for myself.
(09:47):
But I had clarity when I was inthose moments that I couldn't
actually lead people through the12 steps in the way that it was
taught and handed down in thoseprograms and so I actually
stopped sponsoring peoplebecause it didn't feel like I
could be authentic in what thatwas teaching, because something
(10:09):
else was happening to me,something else was coming
through to me, there wassomething more that I wanted to
learn from, and that's reallyhow all of this started to play
out.
But it was my work with myselfas well, where this deep level
of compassion that really issuch an essential piece of how
(10:30):
we finally forgive ourselves.
Finally forgive ourselves.
Forgive us.
We know not what we do.
We respond and react out ofpatterned and immediate
behaviors, and of course we do.
That's why, reaction versusrespond, we react out of very
patterned behaviors and when youcan know better, you can do
(10:53):
better.
When you can know better, youcan do better.
But the part that's soimportant is to stop thinking
that we have to know how, tostop thinking that we should
have done it better, we shouldhave done it different.
Well, now we know better.
So why beat yourself up?
Why get caught up in in reallycriticizing yourself and judging
(11:17):
yourself?
And the piece that I think isso interesting is how important
it is for us to release judgmentin all situations, but mostly
for ourself To recognize thatthis piece of us that's so
tightly trying to hold on towhat is right and what is good
(11:38):
and how to be good and how tomake it all work out so that we
can be in control, so that wecan know exactly what's
happening next, ultimately isreally just trying to give us
internal peace, because if allthis is smoothed out on the
outside, then we'll be okay onthe inside.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
(11:59):
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we've
learned more about soul recoveryand connect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the
nine-step soul recovery process,I'm here for you, but you can
(12:21):
also choose to work the steps onyour own, with individual
modules intended to support youto work at your own pace and on
your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people,
sharing soul recovery tips forus and also do spiritual book
(12:42):
studies.
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode.
(13:04):
Well, when we go to the ofcourse mechanism of starting to
say, of course, my desire tocontrol comes because I had all
this evidence when I was youngerthat this is how I could keep
it all together.
Or, of course, this way ofbeing withdrawing, this way of
being angry, this way of beingnitpicky.
Of course, these are thereactions that I have because at
(13:26):
some point they were whatworked.
They were the solution or thebest solution that you had at
that moment.
And as I started to have thisword, of course there was a
gentleness that came to methrough it.
It was like this tenderness toself that just gave me
permission to be where I was andto not feel like I had done
(13:48):
something wrong, but rather tosay, yeah, that's how that was,
and not judge it, to justwitness it of what it was,
because we're always showing upin the best that we have to
offer.
And the interesting thing is,sometimes it's not all that
great and sometimes it'sextraordinary, but if you give
(14:10):
yourself grace and you say, ofcourse, this was all I had at
that moment, then you stopjudging yourself and there's a
little bit of relief that comesto it.
So, as I started working thiswith myself, and then, when soul
recovery started coming andthen I started doing spiritual
coaching it was definitely aterm that I use on a regular
(14:34):
basis, because it's what's beengiven to me to soften the heart,
to stop judging yourself, tostop being so overly critical
and then, as I've done, morespiritual studies and more
reading.
You know, I'm just, I'mconstantly bringing in more
information.
I listen to a lot of thingsbecause it's a lot easier for me
(14:57):
to listen than to read, with awhole variety of reasons, one
being that I'm dyslexic andreading is a little bit harder
for me.
I definitely hear in auditoryis a better learning, and then
the other is just time.
You know I'm a slow reader, soit takes me a long longer to
read than it does to listen, butI'm basically listening to
something all the time.
(15:19):
And recently, at the SacredCircle that's held here in
Colorado every other month, thefirst Saturday of every other
month that I do with my friendof mine who is another
metaphysical minister, revCrystal, and I do this amazing
circle and this year we're doinglittle seeds of spirituality.
So in the last couple yearswe've done different things
(15:41):
books and different things andthis year we're just bringing in
all kinds of differentresources.
So last, the first in February,the last one we did we did
guides and spirit guides andthis time we did the Akashic
records.
And I'm thinking of this, ofcourse, right now because I'm
listening to a woman.
Her name is Linda Howe and sheteaches on the Akashic records
(16:05):
and she is an amazing woman whoI've loved so much and I've
listened to her how to read theAkashic records, probably about
three ish years ago, and that'sbeen really transformational to
me.
So if you're interested inunderstanding more about Akashic
Records or how to tap into thathigher knowledge, that higher
(16:26):
self, highly highly recommendher books.
And she has a training fromsounds true, that's great.
Her books are great, but I wasintrigued by this one book when
I was looking her up that Ihadn't listened to yet and it's
how to heal using the Akashicrecords.
And as I've listened to it,what I think is so great and
this happens all the time andI'm so grateful it just tells me
(16:48):
that I'm on track is that she'sdescribing what has come to me
that I call the soul recoveryprocess.
She's describing the same thing.
This happens all the time,right?
So I did a Hoffman processweekend.
They also are about how to lookat your beliefs, patterns and
stories and how to work withthose and rewire your brain to
(17:11):
stop living from old beliefs,patterns and stories.
Tony Robbins same basicprinciples, different way of
teaching it how to take a lookat what are those underlying
beliefs, patterns and stories.
How did they get there?
How are you going to leverageyour life to make different
choices?
Does the exact same thing, joeDispenza?
Same thing.
(17:32):
We've got these beliefs andunderlying stories that are
going on underneath you.
Just start really looking atthese people who are giving all
kinds of different modalities onhow to change this process, and
we're all giving essentiallythe same concept, the same base
(17:52):
concept, with a circle around itthat just looks and feels
different, because everybodyneeds the language that speaks
and works for them.
That's the beauty of all ofthis is that the truth is love.
There's just really thiselement of knowing that there is
a foundational piece that sayswe come with these belief
(18:15):
systems and then we can comeback and remember.
The Course in Miracles, which isso important to me, is all
about letting go of theseparation that we're separate,
from choosing love over fear.
All of this is really aroundthat.
So this particular book thatI've been listening to by Linda
Howe on how to heal from theAkashic records.
She spent an entire chapter onthe, of course, and my heart
(18:41):
just warmed because I'd heard itin different places, sort of as
just a passing, as aterminology, that passed, but
she did this really deep diveinto self compassion and how
using the term?
Of course I did, of course theydid, of course this was the best
that I had at the time and Iloved it because it resonated so
(19:04):
much with what we're teachingin soul recovery, which is can
we let go of judging ourself?
Can we actually let go of allthe pressure that we have on
ourselves to perform, to beperfect, to do it just right, to
have certain feelings?
Can we let them go and can youmove into a place where you
(19:26):
actually touch deeply, deeply,deeply, into your own experience
, whatever it's been for you,and recognize that, of course,
the way that you had showed up,or the way that you felt, or the
way that you stayed, or the waythat you ran, or the way that
you reacted, or the way that youwere hurt, or the way that you
(19:49):
set up these belief systems, ofcourse you did, and now we can
do something about it.
Now we can actually take ourpower back and stand in your
sovereignty and begin to look atwho you are and how you've been
showing up, recognizing thatnow that you know better, you
can do better.
(20:10):
That of course you did, thethings that you did.
Of course, you felt the waythat you felt and this
incredible tool, I think, isjust about self compassion, and
it's that piece that says wehave to go through some pretty
intense stuff.
That goes back to theresurrection and the crucifixion
.
Right, you have to go throughintense stuff as a human being
(20:36):
here on earth school.
Our souls, actually, I believe,come here to have these pretty
interesting wild experiences onpurpose.
I just watched soul on Disneyplus.
Last night, alex and Lexi wentfor their first time as new
parents out without the baby andI got to stay home with Rocky
(20:56):
for three hours, which he sleptfor, two of which was great in
my arms, which was adorable andwatch the movie soul and that
was such a beautiful movie Ifyou haven't seen it on Pixar.
About what are we here for?
Well, we're here to enjoy thedeliciousness of what it is to
be human, and and thedeliciousness does not mean that
(21:18):
it's always easy or good, itmeans that it's real, and I
think that that movie does sucha beautiful job of giving that
truth that when we realize thatwe can wake up, that of course
we were shut down, of course wewere asleep.
Of course I chose to drink tocover up the dysfunction that
(21:40):
was all around me and theuncomfortable ways that were in
my body.
So it was the only thing that Icould use at that time to
soothe what felt out of controlto me.
And of course, I became anaddict and an alcoholic because
it is an addictive substance.
But it doesn't mean that youhave to continue to be on that
(22:02):
path.
It means that once you see it,once you name it, once you give
yourself grace around it, thenyou can choose a different way.
You can begin to say of courseI have another choice, of course
I can heal from this.
(22:22):
All of it is giving you really aresponsibility for your own
internal way of being, andeverything that I listen to and
everything that I read sharesthe sentiment that I feel so
deeply and have experienced inmy own life.
What you feel and experienceabout yourself on the inside is
(22:44):
a direct reflection of what's onthe outside.
Now, do you create a lifethat's chaotic or difficult or
painful?
Not directly like that.
But the more work that you doon aligning yourself inside and
taking this incredibleopportunity for deep self-love
(23:06):
and compassion, it will indeedchange how you see everything,
most importantly, how you seeand feel about yourself and when
you can look at yourself out oflove and give yourself grace
and say, of course, that's whatI did, and not beat yourself up
(23:31):
about it, not have resentmentsto yourself about it, it, not
have resentments to yourselfabout it you can begin to
actually do that for others inyour life and have more
compassion for them wherethey're at and again, we're
never saying that you'rediminishing what actually
happened or the pain that it mayhave caused you, but we're
(23:52):
giving people grace for thecomplexity of which it is to be
a human being in a life that issticky and hard.
And as I do this work for myself, there's just such a profound
ability to love myself moredeeply and, instead of judging
(24:13):
myself, to say I can't believethat you did this to the kids,
like go kind of going back to mystory with with Alex and rich
and everything that I've beentalking about over the last
month or so.
You know I had this momentwhere I was feeling really,
really, really bad.
I was, I was really angry atmyself for not quote unquote
(24:36):
saving my children from theemotional complexity that we had
for all those years with twoalcoholic parents, my always
blaming Rich.
But if I give myself grace andI say, of course that's how I
responded, then it literally wasthe best that I had.
It literally was all that Icould do to show up with.
(24:58):
And of course my kids respondedin the way that they did and of
course Rich respond in the waythat he did.
But it doesn't sort of what'sthe word I'm trying to think of.
It doesn't like give people apass to, to show up in ways that
(25:18):
are not okay.
You can say, of course I didthese things.
There's a lot of things that Idid.
Of course I I wasn't all thatgreat in those places, but the
more responsibility that we cantake for ourselves not from a
place of judgment but from aplace of deep, profound
(25:38):
awareness and compassion to self, with this level of forgiveness
that says, yes, this is howthat happened it actually will
allow you to go into thoserelationships with the people
that were in part of that storyand share with them from
integrity, share with them withintegrity, share with them with
authenticity, share with themfrom vulnerability and say I
(26:00):
really recognize that I havefelt very short in that
situation.
I did not show up for you theway that you needed and wanted,
and there's no defense in that.
There's no trying to explainyour side, there's no.
There's no trying to explainyour side.
There's no.
There's none of thejustification that sometimes I
(26:21):
think people will show up within their amends or in their
really healing the ruptures thathappen in relationships.
When you come in with thatauthenticity and that gentleness
you're not backing it up with.
But here's what was happeningfor me.
So of course I couldn't, youknow, be there for you because I
was in pain.
You leave all that out Inside.
You know that.
(26:41):
You may know that that's whatthat is, but you're actually
just saying out loud to them Isee, I see how I was showing up
and I can see that it wasn'tenough and the gentleness to
yourself is yeah, of course Idid.
This level of self love and selfcompassion, I think, is the
(27:03):
most essential piece in ourspiritual journey, because when
we can love and accept ourselves, we show up in everything in a
different way, everything, andyou deserve to be loved by
yourself.
You are worthy of being lovedby yourself, they say in
(27:25):
spirituality.
If we could just understand howmuch love there is for us from
the universe, then we wouldnever doubt anything ever
universe, then we would neverdoubt anything ever.
I read recently in the way ofmastery, which is one of the
(27:45):
books that I'm reading right nowthat I love so much.
It's another channel to work.
I think I might've mentioned itrecently as well, because it's
it's really being impactful inmy experience and it shared that
our free will allows us tochoose when we're going to
remember that we're enough.
Our free will is to have thesewild experiences, but when you
choose and you decide that youare enough, that you are worthy,
(28:07):
that you are innately whole,that you are filled with love,
that you are the grace of spiritdivine, then everything starts
to shift and then you can moveto.
Of course I feel more peaceful,of course things are working out
more smoothly for me.
Of course I'm able to show upmore whole and real and loving
(28:33):
and kind and authentic in eachsituation.
Of course I'm having thesesynchronicities.
Of course things are workingout in ways that I could have
never expected.
We can give ourselves grace inall of it.
In all of it, and through thedarkness comes that peace, that
(28:53):
is the resurrection, that is theknowing that there's unlimited
love on the other side, that weare more than these complex
situations that happen in ourlife.
That's the beauty, of course.
We're more so I really inviteyou to contemplate this concept,
(29:16):
of course, using it foryourself first, for yourself
first, and it's not an excuse,it's not an of course.
They were like that.
It's really a compassionatevoice that says yeah, of course.
And I want you to be gentle andtender and allow yourself to
see what arises as you have thispractice of self-love, because
(29:40):
you are so deserving to loveyourself fully, and when you
love yourself fully, you're moreopen and available to be loved
and to love others in your lifetoo.
Until next time, namaste.
Others in your life too.
(30:01):
Until next time, namaste.
Thank you for listening and Ihope that that helps support
your soul recovery process.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the Recover your Soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
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(30:22):
your Soul community.
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(30:43):
family.
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left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
Isn't it interesting that we can be so
hard on ourselves, and it's soeasy to be hard on ourselves and
critical, but it's a lot harderto give yourself grace and
compassion, and that grace andcompassion is the opening of the
door to self love.
Today's episode is talkingabout a very specific tool, a
tool that allows you to seewhere you were and to give
(00:24):
yourself compassion in each oneof those moments.
Of course you made thosechoices, of course you felt that
way.
When we use the term, of coursethere's an enormous amount of
healing, there's enormous amountof awareness and
self-compassion that can comeflooding in and give yourself
permission to be where you wereat that time.
(00:45):
And once you know how you felt,where you came from, what was
going on with you, then ofcourse there's movement forward,
there's healing for you,there's soul recovery.
Of course there is.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover your Soulpodcast a spiritual path to a
(01:05):
happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives as mine
(01:26):
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
healing.
Positive results in our liveswill follow.
Welcome to the Recovery SoulPodcasting community.
I'm Rev Rachel.
I'm just so glad that we're allhere together on this soul
(01:49):
recovery journey.
Just again and again, I justhave such gratitude about how my
journey of learning how to beokay when the people around me
weren't okay, and my journey ofrecovery from alcoholism, which,
for me, in my personalsituation my drinking really was
a way to try to numb thefeeling that I felt around
(02:09):
codependency, this uncomfortablefeeling that I had around what
other people were feeling, otherpeople were thinking and how
much pressure I felt to takecare of everyone else.
And so, of course, I did.
Of course I found a way to numbmyself, and today's episode
we're going to be talking aboutthis self acceptance.
(02:30):
We're going to be talking abouthow to really deepen this part
of really giving yourself gracefor where you have been, and, of
course, you have this tool thathas come to me using this word
specifically, of course has beenreally powerful in my life and
it came a while ago, so I wantedto tell you the journey of
where it came from and then howI'm hearing it more and more in
(02:54):
other places and how it makessense that it's this opportunity
for us to really step into ourself acceptance and self love,
because, ultimately, at thefoundation of so much of our
pain and suffering, so much ofwhat's going on inside of us, is
something inside that thinksthat we're not worthy, that
we're broken, that we're notenough, we're unlovable, that
(03:17):
there's something wrong with us.
And when we look at it from thesoul recovery perspective, from
the spiritual perspective,which is the greater perspective
this is the spiritual journey,this is what spirituality is all
about is bringing you to aplace where you begin to see
that that's not true but you arewhole, that you are enough,
(03:38):
that you are loved, that you areworthy, innately worthy, all on
your own.
You don't have to deserve it.
But that's not how we wereraised, that's not how it was
when we were growing up and, tobe honest, it's amazing.
We're in this new consciousness, we're in this state where
there's more and moreopportunity for us to have these
(03:59):
kinds of conversations, for usto actually look on a deeper
level at ourselves and to breakthese generational traumas,
these generational ways of beingthat slowly, slowly and
sometimes not on purpose, andsometimes on purpose, we're
continuing this path.
That said, there's somethingwrong with you.
(04:20):
You're not enough.
Who do you think you are?
Is such a common thing thatcomes?
Who do you think you are?
What if we think we are theheart of spirit?
What if we think that we aredeserving?
What if we think that we areenough?
What if we do recognize that weare the expression of creation
(04:41):
itself, that we are divine, thatwe are beautiful, that we are
whole?
It would change everything, butwhat the first step is is for
us to really recognize where itcame from.
And we're in the Easter seasonand I'm not going to go into a
whole religious or if I wasbeing Rev Rachel, I would do at
(05:03):
a virtual center.
I would do a whole other thingand I don't want to do that.
But what I do want to mentionis that when I grew up as a
Buddhist and we didn't reallyhave Easter and I started going
to Unity Church in my 30s, andwhat Unity taught the
metaphysical interpretation ofEaster, and again, I want you to
take whatever is yours and holdwhat is yours.
I'm not you to take whatever isyours and hold what is yours.
(05:25):
I'm not trying to give youanything that isn't what you
already have in your heart.
I think there's space for allof it.
Nothing is right or wrong, butwhat I learned in unity was this
is a time of Easter is really atime of releasing the
crucifixion that we have withinourself.
That this part that Jesusshowed us was that you have to
have a personal crucifixion thatwe have within ourself.
That this part that Jesusshowed us was that you have to
(05:47):
have a personal crucifixion tohave a resurrection, to have a
letting go, but first you haveto go through this darkness to
move into the light, andwhatever that is for you,
whatever the Easter season orPassover season is for you.
I just celebrated Passover.
I've never done a PassoverSeder before, but I did that
(06:08):
with Alex's girlfriend.
Lexi's family is Jewish and soher mom lives here in Sacramento
as well now, and so we did anactual Seder and read through
the whole Seder.
And again, it's around freedom,it's around this letting go,
it's around love, recognizinglove, and also this piece that
says forgive them.
They know not what they do, butwhat I want to offer is that
(06:32):
we're in a place where we'resaying I forgive myself because
I did not know, and in soulrecovery, my hope is that it's
this slow and steady spiritualprocess of awakening to who you
are for real, not all theoutside stuff, not all the I
have tos, not all the who I'msupposed to be, or what my
(06:53):
mother said, or what my fathersaid, or what my aunts or uncles
said, but who I know withinmyself self that I am, and it is
this divine, loving, essentialelement of who you are.
That is the wholeness.
But of course we don't knowthat until we start to move into
(07:16):
this awakened state.
Of course we respond and reactout of our woundedness when it's
all that we have.
So I want to move into this ofcourse tool and the way that I
came into this word, that justthis phrase, maybe it's of
course two words.
So this phrase that came to meso intensely was long before I
(07:38):
became Rev Rachel and was doingthe podcast.
It was through Al-Anon andthrough AA and I had done the 12
steps with sponsors and then Iwas sponsoring people and
working with people on theirfifth step, where you are
sharing your fourth step, whichis your personal inventory.
(07:59):
And the fifth step is whereyou're expressing everything and
you're talking about it alltogether.
I had had a sponsor who I hadwritten things out in a very
Rachel way, a more general way,a more you know, kind of looking
more deeply at what the biggerissues were, and I got in
(08:19):
trouble for that which is funny,because you know how I don't
like to get in trouble I got introuble for that.
She said no, no, no, you'redoing it wrong.
You need to go back the waythat it's done here and each
sponsor is different.
Each one of the ways thatgroups or what was taught do it
are different.
But what she said, what you dohere, is you do it this very
specific way.
So I need you to go back and dothat very specifically.
(08:42):
And so I did and it gave, Ithink, some relief.
I think it did some of what itwanted to happen.
But when I started working withpeople, what I found was that,
as they were relaying theirstory to me, I found myself
saying to them, as they werereally sharing these deep
memories, these resentments,these pains, these things that
(09:05):
had happened in their life, andthen a wave of compassion came
over me, where the words thatjust came out were well, of
course you responded in thisparticular way.
Of course you did Look whathappened, look at how that felt
to you.
And that was the foundation ofwhat I began to work with when
(09:26):
the nine step soul recoveryprocess began to form was how do
I take the 12 steps, which havea purpose, absolutely have a
purpose, never trying to takethem away from what they are in
Al-Anon or AA If you're in thoseprograms, highly recommend you
do them exactly the way that itwas dictated, just like I had to
go back and do it for myself.
(09:47):
But I had clarity when I was inthose moments that I couldn't
actually lead people through the12 steps in the way that it was
taught and handed down in thoseprograms and so I actually
stopped sponsoring peoplebecause it didn't feel like I
could be authentic in what thatwas teaching, because something
(10:09):
else was happening to me,something else was coming
through to me, there wassomething more that I wanted to
learn from, and that's reallyhow all of this started to play
out.
But it was my work with myselfas well, where this deep level
of compassion that really issuch an essential piece of how
(10:30):
we finally forgive ourselves.
Finally forgive ourselves.
Forgive us.
We know not what we do.
We respond and react out ofpatterned and immediate
behaviors, and of course we do.
That's why, reaction versusrespond, we react out of very
patterned behaviors and when youcan know better, you can do
(10:53):
better.
When you can know better, youcan do better.
But the part that's soimportant is to stop thinking
that we have to know how, tostop thinking that we should
have done it better, we shouldhave done it different.
Well, now we know better.
So why beat yourself up?
Why get caught up in in reallycriticizing yourself and judging
(11:17):
yourself?
And the piece that I think isso interesting is how important
it is for us to release judgmentin all situations, but mostly
for ourself To recognize thatthis piece of us that's so
tightly trying to hold on towhat is right and what is good
(11:38):
and how to be good and how tomake it all work out so that we
can be in control, so that wecan know exactly what's
happening next, ultimately isreally just trying to give us
internal peace, because if allthis is smoothed out on the
outside, then we'll be okay onthe inside.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
(11:59):
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we've
learned more about soul recoveryand connect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the
nine-step soul recovery process,I'm here for you, but you can
(12:21):
also choose to work the steps onyour own, with individual
modules intended to support youto work at your own pace and on
your own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join us for the
Recover your Soul bonus podcastfor Patreon members and Apple
podcast subscribers, where Iinterview amazing people,
sharing soul recovery tips forus and also do spiritual book
(12:42):
studies.
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode.
(13:04):
Well, when we go to the ofcourse mechanism of starting to
say, of course, my desire tocontrol comes because I had all
this evidence when I was youngerthat this is how I could keep
it all together.
Or, of course, this way ofbeing withdrawing, this way of
being angry, this way of beingnitpicky.
Of course, these are thereactions that I have because at
(13:26):
some point they were whatworked.
They were the solution or thebest solution that you had at
that moment.
And as I started to have thisword, of course there was a
gentleness that came to methrough it.
It was like this tenderness toself that just gave me
permission to be where I was andto not feel like I had done
(13:48):
something wrong, but rather tosay, yeah, that's how that was,
and not judge it, to justwitness it of what it was,
because we're always showing upin the best that we have to
offer.
And the interesting thing is,sometimes it's not all that
great and sometimes it'sextraordinary, but if you give
(14:10):
yourself grace and you say, ofcourse, this was all I had at
that moment, then you stopjudging yourself and there's a
little bit of relief that comesto it.
So, as I started working thiswith myself, and then, when soul
recovery started coming andthen I started doing spiritual
coaching it was definitely aterm that I use on a regular
(14:34):
basis, because it's what's beengiven to me to soften the heart,
to stop judging yourself, tostop being so overly critical
and then, as I've done, morespiritual studies and more
reading.
You know, I'm just, I'mconstantly bringing in more
information.
I listen to a lot of thingsbecause it's a lot easier for me
(14:57):
to listen than to read, with awhole variety of reasons, one
being that I'm dyslexic andreading is a little bit harder
for me.
I definitely hear in auditoryis a better learning, and then
the other is just time.
You know I'm a slow reader, soit takes me a long longer to
read than it does to listen, butI'm basically listening to
something all the time.
(15:19):
And recently, at the SacredCircle that's held here in
Colorado every other month, thefirst Saturday of every other
month that I do with my friendof mine who is another
metaphysical minister, revCrystal, and I do this amazing
circle and this year we're doinglittle seeds of spirituality.
So in the last couple yearswe've done different things
(15:41):
books and different things andthis year we're just bringing in
all kinds of differentresources.
So last, the first in February,the last one we did we did
guides and spirit guides andthis time we did the Akashic
records.
And I'm thinking of this, ofcourse, right now because I'm
listening to a woman.
Her name is Linda Howe and sheteaches on the Akashic records
(16:05):
and she is an amazing woman whoI've loved so much and I've
listened to her how to read theAkashic records, probably about
three ish years ago, and that'sbeen really transformational to
me.
So if you're interested inunderstanding more about Akashic
Records or how to tap into thathigher knowledge, that higher
(16:26):
self, highly highly recommendher books.
And she has a training fromsounds true, that's great.
Her books are great, but I wasintrigued by this one book when
I was looking her up that Ihadn't listened to yet and it's
how to heal using the Akashicrecords.
And as I've listened to it,what I think is so great and
this happens all the time andI'm so grateful it just tells me
(16:48):
that I'm on track is that she'sdescribing what has come to me
that I call the soul recoveryprocess.
She's describing the same thing.
This happens all the time,right?
So I did a Hoffman processweekend.
They also are about how to lookat your beliefs, patterns and
stories and how to work withthose and rewire your brain to
(17:11):
stop living from old beliefs,patterns and stories.
Tony Robbins same basicprinciples, different way of
teaching it how to take a lookat what are those underlying
beliefs, patterns and stories.
How did they get there?
How are you going to leverageyour life to make different
choices?
Does the exact same thing, joeDispenza?
Same thing.
(17:32):
We've got these beliefs andunderlying stories that are
going on underneath you.
Just start really looking atthese people who are giving all
kinds of different modalities onhow to change this process, and
we're all giving essentiallythe same concept, the same base
(17:52):
concept, with a circle around itthat just looks and feels
different, because everybodyneeds the language that speaks
and works for them.
That's the beauty of all ofthis is that the truth is love.
There's just really thiselement of knowing that there is
a foundational piece that sayswe come with these belief
(18:15):
systems and then we can comeback and remember.
The Course in Miracles, which isso important to me, is all
about letting go of theseparation that we're separate,
from choosing love over fear.
All of this is really aroundthat.
So this particular book thatI've been listening to by Linda
Howe on how to heal from theAkashic records.
She spent an entire chapter onthe, of course, and my heart
(18:41):
just warmed because I'd heard itin different places, sort of as
just a passing, as aterminology, that passed, but
she did this really deep diveinto self compassion and how
using the term?
Of course I did, of course theydid, of course this was the best
that I had at the time and Iloved it because it resonated so
(19:04):
much with what we're teachingin soul recovery, which is can
we let go of judging ourself?
Can we actually let go of allthe pressure that we have on
ourselves to perform, to beperfect, to do it just right, to
have certain feelings?
Can we let them go and can youmove into a place where you
(19:26):
actually touch deeply, deeply,deeply, into your own experience
, whatever it's been for you,and recognize that, of course,
the way that you had showed up,or the way that you felt, or the
way that you stayed, or the waythat you ran, or the way that
you reacted, or the way that youwere hurt, or the way that you
(19:49):
set up these belief systems, ofcourse you did, and now we can
do something about it.
Now we can actually take ourpower back and stand in your
sovereignty and begin to look atwho you are and how you've been
showing up, recognizing thatnow that you know better, you
can do better.
(20:10):
That of course you did, thethings that you did.
Of course, you felt the waythat you felt and this
incredible tool, I think, isjust about self compassion, and
it's that piece that says wehave to go through some pretty
intense stuff.
That goes back to theresurrection and the crucifixion
.
Right, you have to go throughintense stuff as a human being
(20:36):
here on earth school.
Our souls, actually, I believe,come here to have these pretty
interesting wild experiences onpurpose.
I just watched soul on Disneyplus.
Last night, alex and Lexi wentfor their first time as new
parents out without the baby andI got to stay home with Rocky
(20:56):
for three hours, which he sleptfor, two of which was great in
my arms, which was adorable andwatch the movie soul and that
was such a beautiful movie Ifyou haven't seen it on Pixar.
About what are we here for?
Well, we're here to enjoy thedeliciousness of what it is to
be human, and and thedeliciousness does not mean that
(21:18):
it's always easy or good, itmeans that it's real, and I
think that that movie does sucha beautiful job of giving that
truth that when we realize thatwe can wake up, that of course
we were shut down, of course wewere asleep.
Of course I chose to drink tocover up the dysfunction that
(21:40):
was all around me and theuncomfortable ways that were in
my body.
So it was the only thing that Icould use at that time to
soothe what felt out of controlto me.
And of course, I became anaddict and an alcoholic because
it is an addictive substance.
But it doesn't mean that youhave to continue to be on that
(22:02):
path.
It means that once you see it,once you name it, once you give
yourself grace around it, thenyou can choose a different way.
You can begin to say of courseI have another choice, of course
I can heal from this.
(22:22):
All of it is giving you really aresponsibility for your own
internal way of being, andeverything that I listen to and
everything that I read sharesthe sentiment that I feel so
deeply and have experienced inmy own life.
What you feel and experienceabout yourself on the inside is
(22:44):
a direct reflection of what's onthe outside.
Now, do you create a lifethat's chaotic or difficult or
painful?
Not directly like that.
But the more work that you doon aligning yourself inside and
taking this incredibleopportunity for deep self-love
(23:06):
and compassion, it will indeedchange how you see everything,
most importantly, how you seeand feel about yourself and when
you can look at yourself out oflove and give yourself grace
and say, of course, that's whatI did, and not beat yourself up
(23:31):
about it, not have resentmentsto yourself about it, it, not
have resentments to yourselfabout it you can begin to
actually do that for others inyour life and have more
compassion for them wherethey're at and again, we're
never saying that you'rediminishing what actually
happened or the pain that it mayhave caused you, but we're
(23:52):
giving people grace for thecomplexity of which it is to be
a human being in a life that issticky and hard.
And as I do this work for myself, there's just such a profound
ability to love myself moredeeply and, instead of judging
(24:13):
myself, to say I can't believethat you did this to the kids,
like go kind of going back to mystory with with Alex and rich
and everything that I've beentalking about over the last
month or so.
You know I had this momentwhere I was feeling really,
really, really bad.
I was, I was really angry atmyself for not quote unquote
(24:36):
saving my children from theemotional complexity that we had
for all those years with twoalcoholic parents, my always
blaming Rich.
But if I give myself grace andI say, of course that's how I
responded, then it literally wasthe best that I had.
It literally was all that Icould do to show up with.
(24:58):
And of course my kids respondedin the way that they did and of
course Rich respond in the waythat he did.
But it doesn't sort of what'sthe word I'm trying to think of.
It doesn't like give people apass to, to show up in ways that
(25:18):
are not okay.
You can say, of course I didthese things.
There's a lot of things that Idid.
Of course I I wasn't all thatgreat in those places, but the
more responsibility that we cantake for ourselves not from a
place of judgment but from aplace of deep, profound
(25:38):
awareness and compassion to self, with this level of forgiveness
that says, yes, this is howthat happened it actually will
allow you to go into thoserelationships with the people
that were in part of that storyand share with them from
integrity, share with them withintegrity, share with them with
authenticity, share with themfrom vulnerability and say I
(26:00):
really recognize that I havefelt very short in that
situation.
I did not show up for you theway that you needed and wanted,
and there's no defense in that.
There's no trying to explainyour side, there's no.
There's no trying to explainyour side.
There's no.
There's none of thejustification that sometimes I
(26:21):
think people will show up within their amends or in their
really healing the ruptures thathappen in relationships.
When you come in with thatauthenticity and that gentleness
you're not backing it up with.
But here's what was happeningfor me.
So of course I couldn't, youknow, be there for you because I
was in pain.
You leave all that out Inside.
You know that.
(26:41):
You may know that that's whatthat is, but you're actually
just saying out loud to them Isee, I see how I was showing up
and I can see that it wasn'tenough and the gentleness to
yourself is yeah, of course Idid.
This level of self love and selfcompassion, I think, is the
(27:03):
most essential piece in ourspiritual journey, because when
we can love and accept ourselves, we show up in everything in a
different way, everything, andyou deserve to be loved by
yourself.
You are worthy of being lovedby yourself, they say in
(27:25):
spirituality.
If we could just understand howmuch love there is for us from
the universe, then we wouldnever doubt anything ever
universe, then we would neverdoubt anything ever.
I read recently in the way ofmastery, which is one of the
(27:45):
books that I'm reading right nowthat I love so much.
It's another channel to work.
I think I might've mentioned itrecently as well, because it's
it's really being impactful inmy experience and it shared that
our free will allows us tochoose when we're going to
remember that we're enough.
Our free will is to have thesewild experiences, but when you
choose and you decide that youare enough, that you are worthy,
(28:07):
that you are innately whole,that you are filled with love,
that you are the grace of spiritdivine, then everything starts
to shift and then you can moveto.
Of course I feel more peaceful,of course things are working out
more smoothly for me.
Of course I'm able to show upmore whole and real and loving
(28:33):
and kind and authentic in eachsituation.
Of course I'm having thesesynchronicities.
Of course things are workingout in ways that I could have
never expected.
We can give ourselves grace inall of it.
In all of it, and through thedarkness comes that peace, that
(28:53):
is the resurrection, that is theknowing that there's unlimited
love on the other side, that weare more than these complex
situations that happen in ourlife.
That's the beauty, of course.
We're more so I really inviteyou to contemplate this concept,
(29:16):
of course, using it foryourself first, for yourself
first, and it's not an excuse,it's not an of course.
They were like that.
It's really a compassionatevoice that says yeah, of course.
And I want you to be gentle andtender and allow yourself to
see what arises as you have thispractice of self-love, because
(29:40):
you are so deserving to loveyourself fully, and when you
love yourself fully, you're moreopen and available to be loved
and to love others in your lifetoo.
Until next time, namaste.
Others in your life too.
(30:01):
Until next time, namaste.
Thank you for listening and Ihope that that helps support
your soul recovery process.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the Recover your Soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
(30:22):
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access, forlimited time, to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYourSoulnet or check out
the show links below for couponsand information for upcoming
events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
(30:43):
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together, we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!