June 9, 2025 • 41 mins
Send one way text to Rev Rachel
The words we speak and the thoughts we hold aren’t just passing moments—they’re the seeds we plant in the garden of our lives. Whether we realize it or not, we’re always creating. Soul Recovery reminds us that healing begins when we become aware of how we're using our voice, both in the silence of our own mind and in the way we speak to those around us.
In this episode, I invite you to take a deeper look at the power of your inner and outer language—especially in moments of pain, fear, or conflict. How we talk to ourselves when we’re hurting… how we speak to someone we love when we’re upset… these are sacred turning points. We can choose to repeat the old patterns, or we can choose to awaken.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about becoming more conscious. Instead of saying “I’m struggling” or “things never change,” we can shift into new language that aligns with who we are becoming. We can pause, breathe, and speak with intention. And when we do, the world around us begins to shift.
This is the work of Soul Recovery: learning to meet ourselves with love, speak with compassion, and transform our lives from the inside out—one thought, one word, one choice at a time.
Ready to take your Soul Recovery journey deeper?
Join Rev. Rachel in person for a transformative in-person weekend retreat—July 19–20 in Lafayette, Colorado, or September 13–14 in Asheville, North Carolina. Learn more and reserve your spot.
This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not allied or representative of any organizations or religions, but is based on the opinions and experience of Rev. Rachel Harrison. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein. Take what you need and leave the rest.
Rev. Rachel Harrison and Recover Your Soul www.recoveryoursoul.net
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rev Rachel Harrison (00:00):
One of the concepts of spirituality is the
power of your thoughts, thatthoughts held in mind create of
their kind.
When you start to reallyrecognize the thoughts that
you're having or the words thatyou're using, either just in a
passing by saying, oh I'mstruggling with, or we never
have enough, or those reallyvicious words that you can say
(00:23):
in a fight what if you recognizethat your words create the
world in which you see and whatyou feel and how it shows up for
you?
What if you decided that youwere going to change the way
that you used your voice and thethoughts that you had?
There is so much power in yourvoice and in your thoughts, and
(00:43):
when we choose to speak andthink from love and compassion,
the changes in our lives will beamazing.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
a happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
(01:06):
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
(01:28):
healing, positive results inour lives will follow.
Welcome to the Recovery SoulPodcast.
It's Rev Rachel.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of this journey
into our own soul recovery.
Welcome to the community.
If you are here and you're maybeyou're just trying us out.
(01:49):
Maybe you listen to a coupleepisodes and you like what you
hear.
This is indeed a community.
It isn't just me speaking intoa microphone.
It is this incredible group ofpeople who came here because
they feel like something on theoutside isn't going well.
Maybe you came because ofAl-Anon or codependency, or
people pleasing or addiction ofyour own, and you walked through
(02:12):
these doors of however spiritbrought you here and you're
remembering your wholeness inthis journey with me.
And that's a gift, because I'vebeen so transformed in these
last seven years in my own soulrecovery.
When I was given the messagefrom spirit to use the words
recover your soul, it wasn'tjust for me to give you that
(02:36):
message, it was for me toremember to recover my soul and
this is what I'm sharing withyou is this incredible
transformation that's happenedin my life and you know it
continues to happen, and this iswhat I'm sharing with you is
this incredible transformationthat's happened in my life and
you know it continues to happen,and one of the things that I
want to talk about today is thepower of our words, the power of
our thoughts, from this realperspective of spirituality that
(02:58):
thoughts held in mind create oftheir kind.
That's one of the metaphysicalthings that people say what you
think and feel and believe isthe life that you create.
The reality that you experienceon the outside is the reality
that you're experiencing on theinside, and I've talked about
this in a lot of different ways,but not really directly, just
(03:20):
full on about the power of ourwords and also how we use words
as weapons in our relationshipand the choices that we can make
and how we speak to each other,and it goes in a lot of
different ways Not only thewords that we can use when we're
angry or upset and choosedifferent words and different
(03:40):
ways of showing up, but whenwe're talking to somebody that
we're worried about, that we'rescared about what's happening in
their life, what words can weuse that are impactful,
compassionate, loving andconcerned, without being
controlling?
One of the main things thatwe're learning in soul recovery
is that we're powerless overevery single thing outside of
(04:01):
ourselves, but that means thatthe power of our voice and our
thoughts is so important.
And the other thing that I wantto just allow us to talk openly
about is that there's a lotgoing on in the world right now,
and there's a lot of energythat's very heavy right now, and
so if you are having a bunch ofyour stuff being brought up,
(04:24):
you're not alone.
It is happening everywhere.
It is happening with all of us,because there is just an
energetic shift that is muchmore than what we see on the
surface, and it's all thepolitics, it's all of the old
systems, it's what we havethought in our families, it's
what's been handed down to usfor generations about how we
(04:47):
speak to each other and how wespeak to ourselves, and it's
really shaking up right now.
It's a really intense time inour evolution as human beings
and as a species, and I knowthat this past week especially,
has been really energeticallyintense for me especially has
(05:07):
been really energeticallyintense for me, and it's been
interesting to allow myself toactually feel those feelings and
say them out loud and not justpush through like I've always
done in my life.
Just pull your bootstraps up.
Keep going, rachel, I'veactually rested.
I blocked out some of myschedule from coaching.
I laid in the sun and just tookin the sun rays and noticed
(05:27):
that I needed to stop.
I needed to stop, and part ofthat came from this practice of
listening to my inner voice andnoticing that when we are
conscientious of the words thatwe use to ourself, you get past
the judge and all of the oldloop of information that you've
(05:48):
been giving yourself for so longand you can hear the guidance.
You can hear the still smallvoice that's within you that has
more subtle messages for you.
And this week the subtlemessage was just slow down a
minute and give yourself sometime to rest.
But I wanted to share with youthis concept of really being
(06:09):
mindful about the thoughts andthe words that we use, because
we are especially in this time,right now, where we are indeed
opening up and changing howwe're showing up in the world in
such a way that it is affectingso much more than we can
possibly understand.
And it's fascinating to me, asI continue to go down this
(06:30):
spiritual journey, that I feel alittle crazier all the time, to
be honest with you, and it'shard for me to actually say out
loud sometimes the things thatare happening within me and the
shifts that are happening withinme, because they just seem so
outlandish, but they're creatingsuch magnificent changes in how
(06:51):
I feel about myself and therelationships that I have with
my family and how I feel aboutthe world and how I'm showing up
in the chaos around me.
I have to share.
I have to share and say it outloud and, as I say in everything
that I do, take what you like,take what you need and leave the
rest.
If you hear me say somethingand it's a little too far out in
(07:13):
the woo or it just doesn'tresonate with you, that's okay,
that's all right.
Take what does resonate, theseeds that are being planted,
and water them in your owngarden.
That's the most important thing.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
(07:34):
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the nine
step soul recovery process.
I'm here for you, but you canalso choose to work the steps on
your own, with individualmodules intended to support you
(07:57):
to work at your own pace and onyour own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join.
Join us for the Recover yourSoul bonus podcast for Patreon
members and Apple podcastsubscribers, where I interview
amazing people sharing soulrecovery tips for us and also do
spiritual book studies.
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
(08:18):
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode.
I want to talk first about theconcept of metaphysics and the
law of attraction and the lawsof spirituality, and that
there's more and more sciencethat's backing up these concepts
(08:42):
that have been swirling aroundin mainstream for really for the
past 50 years.
But if you really think aboutwhen the first yogis started
coming over to the United States, it's about 100 years ago when
Eastern philosophy startedmoving into Western philosophy
(09:03):
and there was a break in thisconcept of religion and that at
first it seemed like you had tobe the church and these were the
rules and there was a lot offear and then a lot of this sort
of more esoteric, metaphysicalstuff started coming in and
people really attached to it,especially with law of
attraction in terms ofprosperity and finances.
(09:26):
And there's some really, reallygreat, old, old books from like
100 years ago that are aroundthis concept of like if you
think it, it will come and thatwas a real foundation in
changing and shifting a lot oflack mentality, a lot of fear,
mindset that had been going onfor a long time, handed down
(09:49):
generation after generation.
I was listening to a story thismorning in one of the books
that I'm listening to and it wasthat whole.
You know, you came from EllisIsland and we came from Ireland,
or we came from this culture,or we came from this society and
we never had enough or we werealways somebody was always
(10:09):
against us or we were alwayspersecuted.
And all of that mindset gothanded down again and again and
again and again.
They talk about how inepigenetics that actually our
DNA has these different layersof codes and they can either be
switched on or off, depending onwhether you in your being
(10:31):
inside switches them on or off.
And some of that DNA, reallyintense ancestral trauma, gets
handed down generation aftergeneration and how we speak to
each other, how we speak toourselves, what's acceptable
behavior, what's acceptable toneed and want from each other or
(10:52):
from yourself.
And we're in a time right nowthat's this big energy shift
where things are really breakingup and changing and we're
starting to look at things froman entirely different perception
and we're ready to actuallybreak away from and change your
epigenetics, to change not onlyyou and the healing that's
(11:16):
happening within yourself, butfor generations to come.
You're opening up a new way ofbeing and this idea that has
been around for a while, thispast 100 years, but really the
last 50 years this intenseawareness around the power of
your mind, the power of yourthoughts, and you can really use
(11:39):
it like the secret that cameout.
I think it was 20 years agothat the movie the Secret came
out and it was mind blowing fora lot of people this idea that
you could visualize and want forand get.
But I have talked about this inother podcasts that sometimes we
get caught up in this idea ofwe want things from the outside
(12:01):
to make us happy.
You know you can visualize andwant a car and you think about
and you visualize that carenough and you do the work.
You don't sit on your ass andwait for the car to show up.
You listen to the guidance thatsays this is what we're going
to do, this is the job that youhave and, crazy enough, so often
(12:21):
, eventually you get the thingthat you wanted.
But what I want us to talkabout in soul recovery is the
power of our thoughts in termsof who we are as souls and as
human beings and how it relatesto our relationships with other
people, but mostly about how itrelates to our relationship with
ourself and even people who areso conscientious of their
(12:48):
thoughts.
There is always a spin of what'sgoing on in your mind, in the
back, and what I think is sopowerful that Eckhart Tolle one
of the things that he brought inthat was so impactful when he
wrote the Power of Now, 20 yearsago again like all this really
intense change of perspectiveand perception that happened in
(13:10):
the last 20, 30, 40, 50 yearsdifferent levels of it, and now
it's just accelerated but hereally gave this new idea that
we are witnessing ourselves,that we aren't our thoughts,
that you are not the thoughtsthat you think.
Your brain is just thinkingthem and of course, your brain
(13:31):
is thinking, because that's itsjob, that's what brains do, and
I think this is the part that'sso fascinating is to start to
really pay attention to thethoughts that you think and the
ones that you attach to and theones that you create, which you
end up receiving in your life.
So, even with some awareness ofyour thoughts, there's still
(13:55):
this backlog of the subconsciousthat is rolling around in there
, and that's part of what we doin the soul recovery process.
Step three in the soul recoveryprocess is to identify and
acknowledge the unhealthypatterns, beliefs and stories
that are shaping our life andour behavior, those things that
are in our subconscious, thatare the wheels that are spinning
(14:15):
, so that we can start torecognize why they're in there
spinning.
What are they protecting?
And so I'm not going to go intothat, because that is other
episode, because that is otherepisode.
But when we don't know thatthere's this sort of reactionary
, this mechanism that justshoots out words, shoots out
(14:42):
thoughts that we don't even knowwhat they are or why we're
saying them or they're reactive,we are at a place in our lives
now and in our spiritual journeywhere you can start to slow
down and witness and be curiousabout what those are and then
recognize that every thoughtthat you think, every word that
you say has power.
I've had clients that arehonest and share that the
(15:06):
relationships that they havewith their significant others
can be really verbally painfuland abusive on both sides, and
that the most important part isthat we're honest about what
part we're doing, that we'realways participating on both
sides, participating on bothsides and even if somebody is
(15:27):
more aggressive on their end, weparticipate in how we react to
it.
We participate in what we say,we participate in how we shut
down or whatever the system is,and all it takes is one person
to change the energy, to changethose systems and those dynamics
(15:47):
.
I think I've said this beforethat when Rich and I first
started dating, we made twoagreements.
The first agreement was that wewould never lie to each other,
that even if it was painful andeven if it was hard, we would
always tell the truth.
Now there has definitely beentimes where there has been
omission, which is another formof not being honest, but we're
(16:13):
following in the footsteps of myparents, which was if you asked
a direct question, you wouldget a direct answer, always a
truthful answer, and Rich and Iworked out some of those places
where there was omission orthere wasn't full disclosure of
what was happening.
And if you know our story, partof that is Rich continuing to
drink and not sharing with methat he was drinking, but I also
(16:34):
wasn't asking him straight out.
So we have mostly held on tothat agreement that we had with
each other.
The second agreement that wemade that I'm so grateful for
was that we made an agreement tonever say words we didn't mean
and what I mean by that is notto be in a fight and say F you
(16:56):
or I hate you or you a-hole, oryou know, whatever the words
were, somehow we knew from thevery beginning I'd never been
somebody who did that kind ofthing anyway, but somewhere in
our beginning relationship wemade a solid agreement to never
do that.
Now I've told this story I thinkmaybe in the podcast.
(17:19):
I've definitely told it toclients that there were many a
time where Rich and I were inthe midst of something really
intense and I thought thosethings fiercely and intensely.
I mean they were just.
Everything inside of my headwas yelling and screaming
painful, hurtful, mean, awfulthings, because in that moment
(17:43):
that's what I felt.
But you can't take words back.
That's one of the things aboutwords that are so powerful In
that moment.
When you're using words as aweapon, they are a weapon that
harms and you can't take themback, even if you didn't mean
them, because 90% of the timeyou don't mean it.
You feel it at the time but youdon't mean mean it.
(18:08):
You feel it at the time but youdon't mean mean it, and it
destroys and deteriorates anderodes the safety and the
vitality of the relationship.
And so the gratitude that I haveis in our 30 something years
together, I think only once ortwice have the words slipped out
on either side where we saidthose kinds of things.
(18:30):
And again, just even theconcept of thinking them in
those moments was not all thatgreat, but it was the best that
I had in those moments because Iwas in so much pain and it's
taken me all these years of soulrecovery and real deep internal
work to be able to namedifferent feelings, to be able
(18:51):
to say different things right.
So if the first thought is F,you and you don't say it out
loud, but you think it, and thenyou can actually go one layer
under and you think what is itthat that really is saying.
It's really saying you'rehurting me, I want to protect
myself.
And then if you go one layerunder, then you can say I'm
scared, I feel isolated, I feelconfused.
(19:12):
Those are the real feelings andthose are actually valuable
feelings to think and they'revaluable potentially to say
instead of hurtful words.
But with the clients that I'veworked with, where they've had
the courage in all honesty toshare that these are words that
they use or that other peopleuse in their relationship, and
(19:35):
that they respond back withtheir own version of hurtful
words, one of the firstagreements I ask is can they
make an agreement to not saythose things out loud?
If you really love somebody, ifyou really care about the
relationship, then the harm thathappens in the relationship
from using those kinds of wordsis it's not worth it.
(19:56):
It's never worth it.
The dagger is never worth it.
Trying to hurt each other isn'tgoing to heal or benefit
anything.
That's control.
It's another level of controland for the most part, the
people who stay in touch with meor continue to work with me
have said that it's been a hugepiece of changing the dynamic in
(20:17):
the relationship and this isjust a tiny piece of what I
wanted to share with you today,but I think it's an important
piece because then, if you canmake that first agreement,
agreement or if someone's sayingwords to you like that, to be
able to say I have a request,not in the middle of the fight,
don't say this in the middle ofthe fight.
In the middle of the fight, ifthey're saying those words to
(20:38):
you, you can have a boundarythat says I will not be spoken
to that way.
Those are not words that areokay with me and I'm going to
leave, I'm going to take a break.
That is a healthy response tohave.
But then, when you are cooleddown and you're talking, to be
able to say can we make anagreement to not talk to each
other like that, even whenyou're angry, even when this is
(21:00):
going on?
There's got to be another waythat we can talk.
Let's just not say them outloud.
We can talk.
Let's just not say them outloud, because what it ends up
doing is it pours anger and fearand upset.
It's an energy that is palpable.
It's an energy that's real.
It's a dense, low energy.
The energy waves of the kind ofupset are low and dense and
(21:25):
they attract more low denseenergy and one of the things
that's so interesting is whenyou really start looking at
feelings.
Each feeling has an energyvibration and those low dense
energy vibrations have so much.
They're sticky, they're dark.
(21:45):
They're sticky, they're dark,they're really hard to pull
yourself out of, it's likequicksand, and they attract more
of the same heads with theother people, which I do have an
episode somewhere some seasonsago that it's about not having
(22:09):
conversations with the peoplewho are not in the room, right,
because we end up having thesearguments with people who aren't
even there.
Those thoughts that you thinkwithout them there, that are
those critical, mean, horriblethoughts.
Those thoughts have power.
They have power and they havean energy that radiates and it's
(22:29):
not any energy that's aroundyou coming to yourself and
understanding more aboutyourself.
These are heavy ladenprotections that are really
around fear and fight.
And so if I'm in a situationwhere my feelings are really
hurt and maybe something'shappened, I'll have that quick
(22:51):
initial thing that's like, oh myGod, he's being such an a-hole,
and then I'll stop myself andthis is what I hope that you get
in soul recovery.
It's never about beatingyourself up.
It's about staying consciousand awake, coming back to
yourself in that moment andyou're like, oh, wow, I am going
to that name calling place andI really want to actually attend
(23:13):
to what's going on with me,because that's where the power
is, because you're giving yourpower away.
Every time you say those kindsof things to somebody, whether
it's in person or in your mind,or when they're not even there
and you're saying it, you aredetermining that you're being
okay or not.
Okay or how you feel is basedon them and their responses,
(23:34):
their reactions.
You're powerless over all thosethings and we have these
intense feelings withinourselves that don't let us sink
down deeper into the layersthat heal.
They keep us tied up andtethered with these intense,
fighting, bitter feelings.
(23:55):
And so if I'm in that momentwhere I'm like, wow, he's really
being an a-hole, then I can dothe detachment.
I'm powerless over what he'ssaying right now.
I'm powerless over what he'sthinking.
I'm powerless over his energy.
I'm powerless over what he'ssaying right now.
I'm powerless over what he'sthinking.
I'm powerless over his energy.
I'm powerless over his attitude.
I'm powerless over how he'stalking to me and I breathe and
(24:16):
then I do the boundaries.
Do I need to not be in thesituation If it's me thinking
about him later on, I try tothink a positive thought.
I bring in a reminder of thewholeness of who he is.
I leave behind some of thatbitterness and really that
(24:36):
energy that is really protectingme and I notice that it's a
protection.
I notice that it's a protection, it's trying to keep my heart
safe by battling.
What I really want you tounderstand is that these
thoughts have energy right.
So if I can attend to myself,if I can be kind to myself and I
(24:57):
can really go underneath and Ican say I really felt like not
seen right there or I felt likemy idea wasn't recognized, or
I'm feeling scared because it'saround a subject that is not one
of my favorite subjects.
What's coming up for me ismoney always ends up being kind
of this touchy subject betweenRich and I, and the truth is
(25:18):
it's substantially better thanit ever was.
But I catch myself gettingreally tight right and whatever
his reaction is, I'm protectingmyself.
It doesn't even matter what hisreaction is.
I'm protecting myself.
It doesn't even matter what hisreaction is.
I'm nervous.
I don't like to talk aboutmoney.
It makes me uncomfortable.
That's my work to be done.
When we're talking about Alex.
We had a conversation the otherday about Alex that started to
(25:41):
kind of go astray and I wasmindful of the words that I used
, because if we're in thoseconversations and we're using
attacking words or we're usingaccusatory words or we're using
the words that we've used in thepast, that that will flare them
up.
The words are creating theenergy, they're creating the
(26:05):
scenario.
It's becoming what it is and itwas so amazing in this
conversation we were havingabout Alex, which was, you know,
it was kind of ramping up, andI stopped and I said I'm sorry,
I take responsibility.
I'm definitely feeling reactiveand I just so wish I had tears
(26:28):
in my eyes, I so wish that therewas a different way to talk
about this.
And he said me too, me too, andit just shifted how we ended up
talking about it.
When we choose thoughts that arekind and loving even when
you're in pain, thoughts thatare kind and loving Even when
you're in pain, a shift willhappen.
(26:49):
That is maybe you don't see iton the outside, but it's a shift
that happens within you, andyour peace and your wholeness
and your ability to be presentin yourself, in your sovereign
self, is the only thing youcontrol in the first place, but
your energy changes and yourvibration changes and the
(27:12):
thoughts that you have createthe life that you see and that
you experience.
I almost never have hurtful,mean thoughts about well, about
anybody, but my sort of my um,my muse, is rich in all of this
right.
So I used to have a lot of he'sbeing an a-hole today thoughts.
(27:36):
I don't really think thosethoughts anymore because now I
actually can witness that ifhe's being reactive or he's
being easily aggravated bypeople, there's something going
on with him, like what if Imoved into compassion?
What if?
The thought that was in my headthought I'm sending him
(27:58):
positive energy.
I hope that he feels better.
I'm sorry that he's having ahard day.
I'm gonna, you know, maybe I'llask him about it later, or most
of the time in those situationsI just keep my mouth shut and I
just let him talk because hejust needs to talk about it,
because he's actually feelingagitated, because there's
something going on with him.
(28:19):
But I don't let it become stickyon me, and I know this is
complicated because I know abunch of you have people in your
lives where you're like there'sno way that I can't attack back
and I want you to really thinkabout that, because you have
control over yourself, always,always, always, and the thoughts
(28:48):
that we think and the wordsthat we say.
If they are as if you'rewriting a letter to the universe
and saying this is who I am,this is what I'm asking for,
this is what I'm calling for,this is how I want it.
It's like a letter to Santathat you write this letter based
on the words and the thoughtsthat you have, and you will
receive those things.
Are these the ones you're goingto pick?
Are these the thoughts thatyou're going to choose?
(29:10):
And I'll tell you what.
One of the number one thingsthat I think is so important is
those thoughts that we thinkabout ourselves, the thoughts
that we think about ourselves.
You know I shared with you inthe last podcast that my health
and getting fit and losingweight has been a journey that
I've had for the last 20 years.
(29:30):
And when I'm not in aspiritually fit place which,
thank God, mostly I am but ifI'm in a moment where I'm not
awake, I'm not conscious, I havesome pretty mean thoughts about
myself, pretty unkind things tosay about myself.
How can you let yourself go?
(29:51):
Who do you think you are,you're so fat or you're old.
Just, I mean, listen, god.
Just listen to how awful thosethings are.
I don't even like to say themout loud, even to use them as
examples, because those thoughtsare so powerful.
So you can have concern aboutyourself or concern about people
(30:13):
in your lives, but the wordsthat you use when you talk to
them, the words that you usewhen you talk to yourself,
create an energy and you'rewriting that letter to the
universe.
99% of the time I look atmyself and I say I love myself
so much, I'm so grateful forthis body.
How can I take care of her?
What can I do better to takecare of her?
(30:34):
And when I'm in that space, Ithink to myself I'm going to do
some sit-ups today, I'm going togo for a walk, I'm going to,
you know, I'm going to do somelight weight training, some
exercises, because she wantsthat.
But if I'm saying to her, oh,how ugly you are and how fat you
are and how that energy to takecare of yourself is much
(30:55):
diminished, can you feel theenergy?
It's so low, right.
And when you're talking tosomebody who is struggling you
know I talked about Bodhi in hissituation and he was sober.
He had a totally clean sobrietyfor a while.
So proud of him, so proud ofhim.
And then at his birthday he hada couple of margaritas and then
(31:19):
he had it sort of started tofall off.
He was having a few more drinkshere and a few more drinks
there.
And you know, luckily he's notin a place where he's fallen
apart or it's told the wheelshave not fallen off the bus.
But he's coming to me and he'sactually sharing what's going on
with him.
And if I let those thoughts, thewords and the thoughts that we
(31:42):
think have power, and if mythoughts are consumed with this
idea that there's somethingwrong with my kids, that there's
something wrong with him, thathe doesn't get sober, that he's
going to fall apart, those wordsare creating that energy.
You're sending that letter tothe universe, bringing that
energy in.
But instead the words and thethoughts I have to myself are I
(32:04):
see him making good choices.
I love him.
I know this is his own journeyto have.
I see him choosing what's rightfor him.
I love him to make the mistakesthat he might need to make the
awarenesses.
Sometimes a slip or a huge fallis what their soul needs.
(32:27):
And then when I talk to him, I'mmindful of the words that I'm
using.
I'm always so careful to nothave any shame or any guilt.
A lot of curiosity and at thesame time I'm cheering him on to
make what I think would be agreat choice choose sobriety so
much better over here.
But I'm also saying I totallyget it, I get that you're young
(32:50):
and it's hard because there's abunch of people around you.
And he's just saying I'm reallytrying to figure it all out and
I'm proud of myself for stayingon task with no drugs and just
drinking with friends and tryingto keep my boundaries.
And I just said you know we'readdicts and the addict is a
beast and I see you making theright choices.
(33:14):
The thoughts and the words holdpower.
And the same goes for money.
Like if you say we never haveenough, we're always struggling,
we're always short, we're nevergoing to make it, you're
writing a letter to the universethat says I'm never going to
make it.
I'm never going to make it, Inever have enough.
And I think I've said this inthe podcast before.
(33:35):
I'm remembering saying it outloud, but I'm going to say it
again, which is I think it wasan AA meeting and somebody was
saying when you use the wordstruggle, you're telling
yourself to struggle.
I'm struggling right now.
I'm in a dark place right now.
You're naming those choices.
You can name the feelingswithout claiming struggle, dark
(34:01):
place, never enough.
I never get what I need.
I never, never, never.
It's really hard for theuniverse to bring you all those
beautiful things when you'rebasically continually sending it
letters saying I don't wantthose things.
What I'm bringing to myself isthe energy of lack, not enough,
hate, grievance, mistreatment,anger, rage.
(34:25):
And it is not about.
It is not about and it's neverabout dismissing how you feel or
trying to do some sort ofspiritual bypass where you pop
up to the next level and youjust pretend like everything's
Pollyanna, because that's crap.
That's not how that works.
It's about really checking inwith yourself and getting to
(34:48):
those subconscious beliefs andstories that are keeping you in
these low vibrations and theselow places, because they're
coming to be revealed andthey're coming to be completely
released and exposed and clearedso that the thoughts come more
(35:10):
easily to be kind, lovingthoughts.
So the reality on the outsidereflects a cleaner, healthy,
healthier reality on the inside.
And again, just as a close, Iwant you to know that I get how
complicated some of your livesare.
I get it.
I'm working with many of youand on the calls that we have
(35:32):
once a month, the first Mondayof the month, I can feel the
energy of the reality of what'shappening, and so I want to just
impart even more intensely thatwhen you are really in the
intense, dark, complicatedsituations of your life, your
thoughts are even more importantto attend to yourself and how
(35:56):
you're feeling and what you canresource for yourself, and to
choose thoughts and words thatare attracting and calling for
the life that you want to live,and that they should always,
underneath, have a foundation oflove.
The incredible power offorgiveness and love and
compassion cannot be stressedenough, be stressed enough and
(36:27):
gratitude, no matter what'shappening, opens your heart in
ways that nothing else can.
Healing comes in those momentswhen we stop being in grievance
and upset and rage and blame andwe attend to how we are feeling
and we choose words that areconscious and kind and
compassionate to ourselves andto others.
(36:48):
Those give you the strength tomake it through anything, any
situation that you're in.
You are here as a soul to be inthe earth school in your
curriculum for your challenges,and you have so much more than
you give yourself credit for.
(37:09):
You can get through so muchmore.
You are so much wiser andsmarter and more talented and
more able to be present withwhat's hard than you can
possibly imagine, especiallywhen you start being
conscientious of the words andthe thoughts that you choose.
Talk to yourself in kind,loving ways, talk to yourself as
(37:33):
if you were your own bestfriend, or the way that you
would talk to a child, when whatyou're saying to them is you're
beautiful, you're wonderful, Ilove you, you've got this.
The number one thing that I sayto my kids, no matter what's
going on in their lives, is Isee you and I see that this is
hard, but I know that you've gotso much more in there than you
(37:57):
give yourself credit for and Itrust that you're going to make
the choices that are right foryou.
And in the end I'm handing themover to the universe and inside
I'm seeing those things as true.
I'm not saying them as crap oras just buttery words to try to
control it.
I feel them to the depth of mybeing and then that gives me
(38:23):
peace of mind to trust and trulyhave faith that they can indeed
handle whatever comes to them.
They're in their curriculum oflife.
Isn't that all interesting?
And, as always, I encourage youto work the nine steps, either
by working the steps on your own, on the modules on the website.
Join me for one-on-one coaching.
(38:44):
Come to a retreat.
This is you coming back toyourself.
This is you using your power,your sovereignty, to make
choices within yourself thatwill change how you see the
world around you.
Until next time, namaste, thankyou for listening and I hope
(39:07):
that that helps support yoursoul recovery process.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the recover your soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
(39:29):
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYouroursoulnet or check
out the show links below forcoupons and information for
upcoming events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
(39:51):
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
One of the concepts of spirituality is the
power of your thoughts, thatthoughts held in mind create of
their kind.
When you start to reallyrecognize the thoughts that
you're having or the words thatyou're using, either just in a
passing by saying, oh I'mstruggling with, or we never
have enough, or those reallyvicious words that you can say
(00:23):
in a fight what if you recognizethat your words create the
world in which you see and whatyou feel and how it shows up for
you?
What if you decided that youwere going to change the way
that you used your voice and thethoughts that you had?
There is so much power in yourvoice and in your thoughts, and
(00:43):
when we choose to speak andthink from love and compassion,
the changes in our lives will beamazing.
Enjoy the episode.
Welcome to the Recover yourSoul podcast a spiritual path to
a happy and healthy life.
My name is Reverend RachelHarrison.
I started Recover your Soulafter having profound changes in
(01:06):
my life from my recovery ofalcoholism, codependency and
control addiction.
I was guided to share the toolsand principles of spirituality
and soul recovery to help otherstransform their lives as mine
was transformed.
For us to overcome externalcircumstances, we need to turn
the attention to ourselves,focusing on our inner change and
(01:28):
healing, positive results inour lives will follow.
Welcome to the Recovery SoulPodcast.
It's Rev Rachel.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of this journey
into our own soul recovery.
Welcome to the community.
If you are here and you're maybeyou're just trying us out.
(01:49):
Maybe you listen to a coupleepisodes and you like what you
hear.
This is indeed a community.
It isn't just me speaking intoa microphone.
It is this incredible group ofpeople who came here because
they feel like something on theoutside isn't going well.
Maybe you came because ofAl-Anon or codependency, or
people pleasing or addiction ofyour own, and you walked through
(02:12):
these doors of however spiritbrought you here and you're
remembering your wholeness inthis journey with me.
And that's a gift, because I'vebeen so transformed in these
last seven years in my own soulrecovery.
When I was given the messagefrom spirit to use the words
recover your soul, it wasn'tjust for me to give you that
(02:36):
message, it was for me toremember to recover my soul and
this is what I'm sharing withyou is this incredible
transformation that's happenedin my life and you know it
continues to happen, and this iswhat I'm sharing with you is
this incredible transformationthat's happened in my life and
you know it continues to happen,and one of the things that I
want to talk about today is thepower of our words, the power of
our thoughts, from this realperspective of spirituality that
(02:58):
thoughts held in mind create oftheir kind.
That's one of the metaphysicalthings that people say what you
think and feel and believe isthe life that you create.
The reality that you experienceon the outside is the reality
that you're experiencing on theinside, and I've talked about
this in a lot of different ways,but not really directly, just
(03:20):
full on about the power of ourwords and also how we use words
as weapons in our relationshipand the choices that we can make
and how we speak to each other,and it goes in a lot of
different ways Not only thewords that we can use when we're
angry or upset and choosedifferent words and different
(03:40):
ways of showing up, but whenwe're talking to somebody that
we're worried about, that we'rescared about what's happening in
their life, what words can weuse that are impactful,
compassionate, loving andconcerned, without being
controlling?
One of the main things thatwe're learning in soul recovery
is that we're powerless overevery single thing outside of
(04:01):
ourselves, but that means thatthe power of our voice and our
thoughts is so important.
And the other thing that I wantto just allow us to talk openly
about is that there's a lotgoing on in the world right now,
and there's a lot of energythat's very heavy right now, and
so if you are having a bunch ofyour stuff being brought up,
(04:24):
you're not alone.
It is happening everywhere.
It is happening with all of us,because there is just an
energetic shift that is muchmore than what we see on the
surface, and it's all thepolitics, it's all of the old
systems, it's what we havethought in our families, it's
what's been handed down to usfor generations about how we
(04:47):
speak to each other and how wespeak to ourselves, and it's
really shaking up right now.
It's a really intense time inour evolution as human beings
and as a species, and I knowthat this past week especially,
has been really energeticallyintense for me especially has
(05:07):
been really energeticallyintense for me, and it's been
interesting to allow myself toactually feel those feelings and
say them out loud and not justpush through like I've always
done in my life.
Just pull your bootstraps up.
Keep going, rachel, I'veactually rested.
I blocked out some of myschedule from coaching.
I laid in the sun and just tookin the sun rays and noticed
(05:27):
that I needed to stop.
I needed to stop, and part ofthat came from this practice of
listening to my inner voice andnoticing that when we are
conscientious of the words thatwe use to ourself, you get past
the judge and all of the oldloop of information that you've
(05:48):
been giving yourself for so longand you can hear the guidance.
You can hear the still smallvoice that's within you that has
more subtle messages for you.
And this week the subtlemessage was just slow down a
minute and give yourself sometime to rest.
But I wanted to share with youthis concept of really being
(06:09):
mindful about the thoughts andthe words that we use, because
we are especially in this time,right now, where we are indeed
opening up and changing howwe're showing up in the world in
such a way that it is affectingso much more than we can
possibly understand.
And it's fascinating to me, asI continue to go down this
(06:30):
spiritual journey, that I feel alittle crazier all the time, to
be honest with you, and it'shard for me to actually say out
loud sometimes the things thatare happening within me and the
shifts that are happening withinme, because they just seem so
outlandish, but they're creatingsuch magnificent changes in how
(06:51):
I feel about myself and therelationships that I have with
my family and how I feel aboutthe world and how I'm showing up
in the chaos around me.
I have to share.
I have to share and say it outloud and, as I say in everything
that I do, take what you like,take what you need and leave the
rest.
If you hear me say somethingand it's a little too far out in
(07:13):
the woo or it just doesn'tresonate with you, that's okay,
that's all right.
Take what does resonate, theseeds that are being planted,
and water them in your owngarden.
That's the most important thing.
Are you ready to step into yoursoul recovery?
Visit the websiterecoveryoursoulnet to learn more
(07:34):
about the nine step soulrecovery process.
I hope that you'll join us thefirst Monday of every month for
the free soul recovery supportgroup on zoom, where we learn
more about soul recovery andconnect with each other.
If you'd like to work directlywith me to move through the nine
step soul recovery process.
I'm here for you, but you canalso choose to work the steps on
your own, with individualmodules intended to support you
(07:57):
to work at your own pace and onyour own time.
And if you want even more soulrecovery, join.
Join us for the Recover yourSoul bonus podcast for Patreon
members and Apple podcastsubscribers, where I interview
amazing people sharing soulrecovery tips for us and also do
spiritual book studies.
You can also find dailyinspiration on Facebook and
(08:18):
Instagram and join our privateFacebook community.
Visit the website for moreinformation, links and
registration for everything.
Back to the episode.
I want to talk first about theconcept of metaphysics and the
law of attraction and the lawsof spirituality, and that
there's more and more sciencethat's backing up these concepts
(08:42):
that have been swirling aroundin mainstream for really for the
past 50 years.
But if you really think aboutwhen the first yogis started
coming over to the United States, it's about 100 years ago when
Eastern philosophy startedmoving into Western philosophy
(09:03):
and there was a break in thisconcept of religion and that at
first it seemed like you had tobe the church and these were the
rules and there was a lot offear and then a lot of this sort
of more esoteric, metaphysicalstuff started coming in and
people really attached to it,especially with law of
attraction in terms ofprosperity and finances.
(09:26):
And there's some really, reallygreat, old, old books from like
100 years ago that are aroundthis concept of like if you
think it, it will come and thatwas a real foundation in
changing and shifting a lot oflack mentality, a lot of fear,
mindset that had been going onfor a long time, handed down
(09:49):
generation after generation.
I was listening to a story thismorning in one of the books
that I'm listening to and it wasthat whole.
You know, you came from EllisIsland and we came from Ireland,
or we came from this culture,or we came from this society and
we never had enough or we werealways somebody was always
(10:09):
against us or we were alwayspersecuted.
And all of that mindset gothanded down again and again and
again and again.
They talk about how inepigenetics that actually our
DNA has these different layersof codes and they can either be
switched on or off, depending onwhether you in your being
(10:31):
inside switches them on or off.
And some of that DNA, reallyintense ancestral trauma, gets
handed down generation aftergeneration and how we speak to
each other, how we speak toourselves, what's acceptable
behavior, what's acceptable toneed and want from each other or
(10:52):
from yourself.
And we're in a time right nowthat's this big energy shift
where things are really breakingup and changing and we're
starting to look at things froman entirely different perception
and we're ready to actuallybreak away from and change your
epigenetics, to change not onlyyou and the healing that's
(11:16):
happening within yourself, butfor generations to come.
You're opening up a new way ofbeing and this idea that has
been around for a while, thispast 100 years, but really the
last 50 years this intenseawareness around the power of
your mind, the power of yourthoughts, and you can really use
(11:39):
it like the secret that cameout.
I think it was 20 years agothat the movie the Secret came
out and it was mind blowing fora lot of people this idea that
you could visualize and want forand get.
But I have talked about this inother podcasts that sometimes we
get caught up in this idea ofwe want things from the outside
(12:01):
to make us happy.
You know you can visualize andwant a car and you think about
and you visualize that carenough and you do the work.
You don't sit on your ass andwait for the car to show up.
You listen to the guidance thatsays this is what we're going
to do, this is the job that youhave and, crazy enough, so often
(12:21):
, eventually you get the thingthat you wanted.
But what I want us to talkabout in soul recovery is the
power of our thoughts in termsof who we are as souls and as
human beings and how it relatesto our relationships with other
people, but mostly about how itrelates to our relationship with
ourself and even people who areso conscientious of their
(12:48):
thoughts.
There is always a spin of what'sgoing on in your mind, in the
back, and what I think is sopowerful that Eckhart Tolle one
of the things that he brought inthat was so impactful when he
wrote the Power of Now, 20 yearsago again like all this really
intense change of perspectiveand perception that happened in
(13:10):
the last 20, 30, 40, 50 yearsdifferent levels of it, and now
it's just accelerated but hereally gave this new idea that
we are witnessing ourselves,that we aren't our thoughts,
that you are not the thoughtsthat you think.
Your brain is just thinkingthem and of course, your brain
(13:31):
is thinking, because that's itsjob, that's what brains do, and
I think this is the part that'sso fascinating is to start to
really pay attention to thethoughts that you think and the
ones that you attach to and theones that you create, which you
end up receiving in your life.
So, even with some awareness ofyour thoughts, there's still
(13:55):
this backlog of the subconsciousthat is rolling around in there
, and that's part of what we doin the soul recovery process.
Step three in the soul recoveryprocess is to identify and
acknowledge the unhealthypatterns, beliefs and stories
that are shaping our life andour behavior, those things that
are in our subconscious, thatare the wheels that are spinning
(14:15):
, so that we can start torecognize why they're in there
spinning.
What are they protecting?
And so I'm not going to go intothat, because that is other
episode, because that is otherepisode.
But when we don't know thatthere's this sort of reactionary
, this mechanism that justshoots out words, shoots out
(14:42):
thoughts that we don't even knowwhat they are or why we're
saying them or they're reactive,we are at a place in our lives
now and in our spiritual journeywhere you can start to slow
down and witness and be curiousabout what those are and then
recognize that every thoughtthat you think, every word that
you say has power.
I've had clients that arehonest and share that the
(15:06):
relationships that they havewith their significant others
can be really verbally painfuland abusive on both sides, and
that the most important part isthat we're honest about what
part we're doing, that we'realways participating on both
sides, participating on bothsides and even if somebody is
(15:27):
more aggressive on their end, weparticipate in how we react to
it.
We participate in what we say,we participate in how we shut
down or whatever the system is,and all it takes is one person
to change the energy, to changethose systems and those dynamics
(15:47):
.
I think I've said this beforethat when Rich and I first
started dating, we made twoagreements.
The first agreement was that wewould never lie to each other,
that even if it was painful andeven if it was hard, we would
always tell the truth.
Now there has definitely beentimes where there has been
omission, which is another formof not being honest, but we're
(16:13):
following in the footsteps of myparents, which was if you asked
a direct question, you wouldget a direct answer, always a
truthful answer, and Rich and Iworked out some of those places
where there was omission orthere wasn't full disclosure of
what was happening.
And if you know our story, partof that is Rich continuing to
drink and not sharing with methat he was drinking, but I also
(16:34):
wasn't asking him straight out.
So we have mostly held on tothat agreement that we had with
each other.
The second agreement that wemade that I'm so grateful for
was that we made an agreement tonever say words we didn't mean
and what I mean by that is notto be in a fight and say F you
(16:56):
or I hate you or you a-hole, oryou know, whatever the words
were, somehow we knew from thevery beginning I'd never been
somebody who did that kind ofthing anyway, but somewhere in
our beginning relationship wemade a solid agreement to never
do that.
Now I've told this story I thinkmaybe in the podcast.
(17:19):
I've definitely told it toclients that there were many a
time where Rich and I were inthe midst of something really
intense and I thought thosethings fiercely and intensely.
I mean they were just.
Everything inside of my headwas yelling and screaming
painful, hurtful, mean, awfulthings, because in that moment
(17:43):
that's what I felt.
But you can't take words back.
That's one of the things aboutwords that are so powerful In
that moment.
When you're using words as aweapon, they are a weapon that
harms and you can't take themback, even if you didn't mean
them, because 90% of the timeyou don't mean it.
You feel it at the time but youdon't mean mean it.
(18:08):
You feel it at the time but youdon't mean mean it, and it
destroys and deteriorates anderodes the safety and the
vitality of the relationship.
And so the gratitude that I haveis in our 30 something years
together, I think only once ortwice have the words slipped out
on either side where we saidthose kinds of things.
(18:30):
And again, just even theconcept of thinking them in
those moments was not all thatgreat, but it was the best that
I had in those moments because Iwas in so much pain and it's
taken me all these years of soulrecovery and real deep internal
work to be able to namedifferent feelings, to be able
(18:51):
to say different things right.
So if the first thought is F,you and you don't say it out
loud, but you think it, and thenyou can actually go one layer
under and you think what is itthat that really is saying.
It's really saying you'rehurting me, I want to protect
myself.
And then if you go one layerunder, then you can say I'm
scared, I feel isolated, I feelconfused.
(19:12):
Those are the real feelings andthose are actually valuable
feelings to think and they'revaluable potentially to say
instead of hurtful words.
But with the clients that I'veworked with, where they've had
the courage in all honesty toshare that these are words that
they use or that other peopleuse in their relationship, and
(19:35):
that they respond back withtheir own version of hurtful
words, one of the firstagreements I ask is can they
make an agreement to not saythose things out loud?
If you really love somebody, ifyou really care about the
relationship, then the harm thathappens in the relationship
from using those kinds of wordsis it's not worth it.
(19:56):
It's never worth it.
The dagger is never worth it.
Trying to hurt each other isn'tgoing to heal or benefit
anything.
That's control.
It's another level of controland for the most part, the
people who stay in touch with meor continue to work with me
have said that it's been a hugepiece of changing the dynamic in
(20:17):
the relationship and this isjust a tiny piece of what I
wanted to share with you today,but I think it's an important
piece because then, if you canmake that first agreement,
agreement or if someone's sayingwords to you like that, to be
able to say I have a request,not in the middle of the fight,
don't say this in the middle ofthe fight.
In the middle of the fight, ifthey're saying those words to
(20:38):
you, you can have a boundarythat says I will not be spoken
to that way.
Those are not words that areokay with me and I'm going to
leave, I'm going to take a break.
That is a healthy response tohave.
But then, when you are cooleddown and you're talking, to be
able to say can we make anagreement to not talk to each
other like that, even whenyou're angry, even when this is
(21:00):
going on?
There's got to be another waythat we can talk.
Let's just not say them outloud.
We can talk.
Let's just not say them outloud, because what it ends up
doing is it pours anger and fearand upset.
It's an energy that is palpable.
It's an energy that's real.
It's a dense, low energy.
The energy waves of the kind ofupset are low and dense and
(21:25):
they attract more low denseenergy and one of the things
that's so interesting is whenyou really start looking at
feelings.
Each feeling has an energyvibration and those low dense
energy vibrations have so much.
They're sticky, they're dark.
(21:45):
They're sticky, they're dark,they're really hard to pull
yourself out of, it's likequicksand, and they attract more
of the same heads with theother people, which I do have an
episode somewhere some seasonsago that it's about not having
(22:09):
conversations with the peoplewho are not in the room, right,
because we end up having thesearguments with people who aren't
even there.
Those thoughts that you thinkwithout them there, that are
those critical, mean, horriblethoughts.
Those thoughts have power.
They have power and they havean energy that radiates and it's
(22:29):
not any energy that's aroundyou coming to yourself and
understanding more aboutyourself.
These are heavy ladenprotections that are really
around fear and fight.
And so if I'm in a situationwhere my feelings are really
hurt and maybe something'shappened, I'll have that quick
(22:51):
initial thing that's like, oh myGod, he's being such an a-hole,
and then I'll stop myself andthis is what I hope that you get
in soul recovery.
It's never about beatingyourself up.
It's about staying consciousand awake, coming back to
yourself in that moment andyou're like, oh, wow, I am going
to that name calling place andI really want to actually attend
(23:13):
to what's going on with me,because that's where the power
is, because you're giving yourpower away.
Every time you say those kindsof things to somebody, whether
it's in person or in your mind,or when they're not even there
and you're saying it, you aredetermining that you're being
okay or not.
Okay or how you feel is basedon them and their responses,
(23:34):
their reactions.
You're powerless over all thosethings and we have these
intense feelings withinourselves that don't let us sink
down deeper into the layersthat heal.
They keep us tied up andtethered with these intense,
fighting, bitter feelings.
(23:55):
And so if I'm in that momentwhere I'm like, wow, he's really
being an a-hole, then I can dothe detachment.
I'm powerless over what he'ssaying right now.
I'm powerless over what he'sthinking.
I'm powerless over his energy.
I'm powerless over what he'ssaying right now.
I'm powerless over what he'sthinking.
I'm powerless over his energy.
I'm powerless over his attitude.
I'm powerless over how he'stalking to me and I breathe and
(24:16):
then I do the boundaries.
Do I need to not be in thesituation If it's me thinking
about him later on, I try tothink a positive thought.
I bring in a reminder of thewholeness of who he is.
I leave behind some of thatbitterness and really that
(24:36):
energy that is really protectingme and I notice that it's a
protection.
I notice that it's a protection, it's trying to keep my heart
safe by battling.
What I really want you tounderstand is that these
thoughts have energy right.
So if I can attend to myself,if I can be kind to myself and I
(24:57):
can really go underneath and Ican say I really felt like not
seen right there or I felt likemy idea wasn't recognized, or
I'm feeling scared because it'saround a subject that is not one
of my favorite subjects.
What's coming up for me ismoney always ends up being kind
of this touchy subject betweenRich and I, and the truth is
(25:18):
it's substantially better thanit ever was.
But I catch myself gettingreally tight right and whatever
his reaction is, I'm protectingmyself.
It doesn't even matter what hisreaction is.
I'm protecting myself.
It doesn't even matter what hisreaction is.
I'm nervous.
I don't like to talk aboutmoney.
It makes me uncomfortable.
That's my work to be done.
When we're talking about Alex.
We had a conversation the otherday about Alex that started to
(25:41):
kind of go astray and I wasmindful of the words that I used
, because if we're in thoseconversations and we're using
attacking words or we're usingaccusatory words or we're using
the words that we've used in thepast, that that will flare them
up.
The words are creating theenergy, they're creating the
(26:05):
scenario.
It's becoming what it is and itwas so amazing in this
conversation we were havingabout Alex, which was, you know,
it was kind of ramping up, andI stopped and I said I'm sorry,
I take responsibility.
I'm definitely feeling reactiveand I just so wish I had tears
(26:28):
in my eyes, I so wish that therewas a different way to talk
about this.
And he said me too, me too, andit just shifted how we ended up
talking about it.
When we choose thoughts that arekind and loving even when
you're in pain, thoughts thatare kind and loving Even when
you're in pain, a shift willhappen.
(26:49):
That is maybe you don't see iton the outside, but it's a shift
that happens within you, andyour peace and your wholeness
and your ability to be presentin yourself, in your sovereign
self, is the only thing youcontrol in the first place, but
your energy changes and yourvibration changes and the
(27:12):
thoughts that you have createthe life that you see and that
you experience.
I almost never have hurtful,mean thoughts about well, about
anybody, but my sort of my um,my muse, is rich in all of this
right.
So I used to have a lot of he'sbeing an a-hole today thoughts.
(27:36):
I don't really think thosethoughts anymore because now I
actually can witness that ifhe's being reactive or he's
being easily aggravated bypeople, there's something going
on with him, like what if Imoved into compassion?
What if?
The thought that was in my headthought I'm sending him
(27:58):
positive energy.
I hope that he feels better.
I'm sorry that he's having ahard day.
I'm gonna, you know, maybe I'llask him about it later, or most
of the time in those situationsI just keep my mouth shut and I
just let him talk because hejust needs to talk about it,
because he's actually feelingagitated, because there's
something going on with him.
(28:19):
But I don't let it become stickyon me, and I know this is
complicated because I know abunch of you have people in your
lives where you're like there'sno way that I can't attack back
and I want you to really thinkabout that, because you have
control over yourself, always,always, always, and the thoughts
(28:48):
that we think and the wordsthat we say.
If they are as if you'rewriting a letter to the universe
and saying this is who I am,this is what I'm asking for,
this is what I'm calling for,this is how I want it.
It's like a letter to Santathat you write this letter based
on the words and the thoughtsthat you have, and you will
receive those things.
Are these the ones you're goingto pick?
Are these the thoughts thatyou're going to choose?
(29:10):
And I'll tell you what.
One of the number one thingsthat I think is so important is
those thoughts that we thinkabout ourselves, the thoughts
that we think about ourselves.
You know I shared with you inthe last podcast that my health
and getting fit and losingweight has been a journey that
I've had for the last 20 years.
(29:30):
And when I'm not in aspiritually fit place which,
thank God, mostly I am but ifI'm in a moment where I'm not
awake, I'm not conscious, I havesome pretty mean thoughts about
myself, pretty unkind things tosay about myself.
How can you let yourself go?
(29:51):
Who do you think you are,you're so fat or you're old.
Just, I mean, listen, god.
Just listen to how awful thosethings are.
I don't even like to say themout loud, even to use them as
examples, because those thoughtsare so powerful.
So you can have concern aboutyourself or concern about people
(30:13):
in your lives, but the wordsthat you use when you talk to
them, the words that you usewhen you talk to yourself,
create an energy and you'rewriting that letter to the
universe.
99% of the time I look atmyself and I say I love myself
so much, I'm so grateful forthis body.
How can I take care of her?
What can I do better to takecare of her?
(30:34):
And when I'm in that space, Ithink to myself I'm going to do
some sit-ups today, I'm going togo for a walk, I'm going to,
you know, I'm going to do somelight weight training, some
exercises, because she wantsthat.
But if I'm saying to her, oh,how ugly you are and how fat you
are and how that energy to takecare of yourself is much
(30:55):
diminished, can you feel theenergy?
It's so low, right.
And when you're talking tosomebody who is struggling you
know I talked about Bodhi in hissituation and he was sober.
He had a totally clean sobrietyfor a while.
So proud of him, so proud ofhim.
And then at his birthday he hada couple of margaritas and then
(31:19):
he had it sort of started tofall off.
He was having a few more drinkshere and a few more drinks
there.
And you know, luckily he's notin a place where he's fallen
apart or it's told the wheelshave not fallen off the bus.
But he's coming to me and he'sactually sharing what's going on
with him.
And if I let those thoughts, thewords and the thoughts that we
(31:42):
think have power, and if mythoughts are consumed with this
idea that there's somethingwrong with my kids, that there's
something wrong with him, thathe doesn't get sober, that he's
going to fall apart, those wordsare creating that energy.
You're sending that letter tothe universe, bringing that
energy in.
But instead the words and thethoughts I have to myself are I
(32:04):
see him making good choices.
I love him.
I know this is his own journeyto have.
I see him choosing what's rightfor him.
I love him to make the mistakesthat he might need to make the
awarenesses.
Sometimes a slip or a huge fallis what their soul needs.
(32:27):
And then when I talk to him, I'mmindful of the words that I'm
using.
I'm always so careful to nothave any shame or any guilt.
A lot of curiosity and at thesame time I'm cheering him on to
make what I think would be agreat choice choose sobriety so
much better over here.
But I'm also saying I totallyget it, I get that you're young
(32:50):
and it's hard because there's abunch of people around you.
And he's just saying I'm reallytrying to figure it all out and
I'm proud of myself for stayingon task with no drugs and just
drinking with friends and tryingto keep my boundaries.
And I just said you know we'readdicts and the addict is a
beast and I see you making theright choices.
(33:14):
The thoughts and the words holdpower.
And the same goes for money.
Like if you say we never haveenough, we're always struggling,
we're always short, we're nevergoing to make it, you're
writing a letter to the universethat says I'm never going to
make it.
I'm never going to make it, Inever have enough.
And I think I've said this inthe podcast before.
(33:35):
I'm remembering saying it outloud, but I'm going to say it
again, which is I think it wasan AA meeting and somebody was
saying when you use the wordstruggle, you're telling
yourself to struggle.
I'm struggling right now.
I'm in a dark place right now.
You're naming those choices.
You can name the feelingswithout claiming struggle, dark
(34:01):
place, never enough.
I never get what I need.
I never, never, never.
It's really hard for theuniverse to bring you all those
beautiful things when you'rebasically continually sending it
letters saying I don't wantthose things.
What I'm bringing to myself isthe energy of lack, not enough,
hate, grievance, mistreatment,anger, rage.
(34:25):
And it is not about.
It is not about and it's neverabout dismissing how you feel or
trying to do some sort ofspiritual bypass where you pop
up to the next level and youjust pretend like everything's
Pollyanna, because that's crap.
That's not how that works.
It's about really checking inwith yourself and getting to
(34:48):
those subconscious beliefs andstories that are keeping you in
these low vibrations and theselow places, because they're
coming to be revealed andthey're coming to be completely
released and exposed and clearedso that the thoughts come more
(35:10):
easily to be kind, lovingthoughts.
So the reality on the outsidereflects a cleaner, healthy,
healthier reality on the inside.
And again, just as a close, Iwant you to know that I get how
complicated some of your livesare.
I get it.
I'm working with many of youand on the calls that we have
(35:32):
once a month, the first Mondayof the month, I can feel the
energy of the reality of what'shappening, and so I want to just
impart even more intensely thatwhen you are really in the
intense, dark, complicatedsituations of your life, your
thoughts are even more importantto attend to yourself and how
(35:56):
you're feeling and what you canresource for yourself, and to
choose thoughts and words thatare attracting and calling for
the life that you want to live,and that they should always,
underneath, have a foundation oflove.
The incredible power offorgiveness and love and
compassion cannot be stressedenough, be stressed enough and
(36:27):
gratitude, no matter what'shappening, opens your heart in
ways that nothing else can.
Healing comes in those momentswhen we stop being in grievance
and upset and rage and blame andwe attend to how we are feeling
and we choose words that areconscious and kind and
compassionate to ourselves andto others.
(36:48):
Those give you the strength tomake it through anything, any
situation that you're in.
You are here as a soul to be inthe earth school in your
curriculum for your challenges,and you have so much more than
you give yourself credit for.
(37:09):
You can get through so muchmore.
You are so much wiser andsmarter and more talented and
more able to be present withwhat's hard than you can
possibly imagine, especiallywhen you start being
conscientious of the words andthe thoughts that you choose.
Talk to yourself in kind,loving ways, talk to yourself as
(37:33):
if you were your own bestfriend, or the way that you
would talk to a child, when whatyou're saying to them is you're
beautiful, you're wonderful, Ilove you, you've got this.
The number one thing that I sayto my kids, no matter what's
going on in their lives, is Isee you and I see that this is
hard, but I know that you've gotso much more in there than you
(37:57):
give yourself credit for and Itrust that you're going to make
the choices that are right foryou.
And in the end I'm handing themover to the universe and inside
I'm seeing those things as true.
I'm not saying them as crap oras just buttery words to try to
control it.
I feel them to the depth of mybeing and then that gives me
(38:23):
peace of mind to trust and trulyhave faith that they can indeed
handle whatever comes to them.
They're in their curriculum oflife.
Isn't that all interesting?
And, as always, I encourage youto work the nine steps, either
by working the steps on your own, on the modules on the website.
Join me for one-on-one coaching.
(38:44):
Come to a retreat.
This is you coming back toyourself.
This is you using your power,your sovereignty, to make
choices within yourself thatwill change how you see the
world around you.
Until next time, namaste, thankyou for listening and I hope
(39:07):
that that helps support yoursoul recovery process.
Just a reminder that everyFriday is the recover your soul
bonus podcast.
This podcast is for Patreonmembers and Apple podcast
subscribers, and not only do youget an incredible interview or
book study that comes with beingpart of that community, but
your subscribing helps supportthis podcast and the Recover
(39:29):
your Soul community.
If you want to listen to thosebonus episodes but can't
subscribe right now, do knowthat you can be a free Patreon
member and have access forlimited time to new episodes.
Visit the websiteRecoverYouroursoulnet or check
out the show links below forcoupons and information for
upcoming events.
I thank you for sharing thispodcast with your friends and
(39:51):
family.
I thank you for giving it fivestars, and the reviews that are
left bring tears to my eyes.
I am honored to be part of yourlife.
Together we can do the workthat will recover your soul.
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