Sobriety's Impact: A Father's Journey Through His Daughter's Eyes

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You sit on the toilet , don't you Use that?

Speaker 2 (00:02):
as your meditation.
Not my wife, not your wife, noranybody listening to this
podcast has eaten a shitsandwich.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to Recovery.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Unfiltered.
I'm Larry.
I'm an alcoholic.
I am Rob.
I am also an alcoholic.
We are not professionals.
There are no letters after ournames.
We know very little.
However, you will hear the wordGod and a four-letter word in
the same sentence.
You will also be offended.
So if you are easily offended,just pass us by.
This podcast is not for you ouropinions are just that.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
If you don't agree with what we're saying, that's
okay.
We're gonna love you anyways.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
We are not in any way affiliated with aa so sit back,
grab a beverage of your choiceand get ready let's go.
Hello, rob I want to make surethat fucking mic's real close to
my mouth, because I don't wantyou to don't be getting fussy
with me, hey, hey before westart what I have to make an
amends With who To a womanthat's going to hear this,
hopefully.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Your wife.
No, bonnie Susan.
Did you piss Bonnie off again?
Nope, hi Susan.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
So last week Susan says hey, what day is free.
I want to take you out todinner Because me and Susan got
sober together For 14th.
I said Tuesday's.
I got nothing Tuesday.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Oh boy, oh boy.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
So I'm driving here and for some reason cool hand
Luke's kept coming to my head.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
I'm like shit, you're supposed to meet her there.
She's there, did you call her?

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, I called her so and I get so now so I called my
wife and she so calendarscalendars Rob.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Okay, how?

Speaker 2 (01:23):
often have I let you down on this.
I mean you guys all, never,absolutely not no, and I
appreciate it.
This is like a rare momentwhere I actually I know you
double booked.
You double booked, so nextTuesday I take her to dinner.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Now you got to pay, then I pay.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
Then I feel like an ass, it happens.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
I mean, mean, you know what?
If anybody ever looked at mycalendar, they would think I I
didn't have any time to sleep.
I have to live on a calendar.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
I have to that was beautiful like that yeah, god
damn it.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
I muted the mic, but I think you came.
That swallow came all the wayover onto my mic turn that
fucker down.
You're loud enough man so yourbirthday um podcast got a bunch
of reviews, did it?
Yeah, a lot of people were likethat's the best one we've heard
in a long time.
They're coming in through theitunes ones a lot of places you
don't see okay I got you it'sjust the comments that in there.

(02:15):
They're just saying that it wasone of the funner ones they've
seen in a long time.
But what was fun is that wewent from two pretty serious
ones back to back to back.
Yeah To bam, we just went tohaving fun.
So they thought it was a good,this will be fun, this one will
be fun.
So well, we're going to.
We're going to.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
What is this 50?

Speaker 1 (02:34):
This is 50.
Yeah, this is 50.
So we're going to start withthe youngest.
We are starting with theyoungest.
Hello, miss McKenna.
Hello, that is my youngest.
That's my baby girl.
That's the baby.
So how old are you now?

Speaker 4 (02:49):
I will be 27 on the 23rd, so it's coming.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Well, I actually taken her fiance down to LA for
her birthday and leaving herhome alone.

Speaker 4 (03:00):
This has been a struggle and, honestly, I'm not
the cleanest mouth, so everybodywill probably hear the F word
as well coming out of my mouth.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
You're my girl baby.

Speaker 4 (03:11):
Learn from the best.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
If we haven't chased them away by now, that's good.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
I was actually supposed to go down on that trip
with them, and I keep tellingeverybody I'm like.
You know.
My dad gave the employees twodifferent options.
They could either do it theweek of the 18th, which was his
birthday week, or the week atthe 23rd, which was my birthday
week, and he chose my fuckingbirthday week.
So, uh, I was actually going togo down, yeah, Well, cause I'm

(03:36):
trying to save as much time forthe wedding and the honeymoon,
so I'm really really not tryingto take any time off right now.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Self-centered, selfish son of a bitch.
Yeah, pay $62.
Dick.

Speaker 4 (03:46):
God, he's had so many fucking birthdays now.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
I say it, I say it all the time.
I am a self-centered all aboutme.
Just go back and listen to somepodcasts.

Speaker 4 (03:56):
It's all about me, but at least you're sober yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
So I'm probably going to step back a little bit and
let you do some interviewing.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
I just want to know.
What do you want to know?
Okay, well, we're going to getright into it.
Go Jump.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
We love to jump.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
So what I want to know is because he was a noise
and we talked about the lastpart of his dream and when you
were in high school, what was itlike?

Speaker 4 (04:19):
Gosh.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
What was the family Now?
How much older is miranda?

Speaker 1 (04:27):
she's five years 11 months, which is a bit.
That's a minute.
Yeah, it's almost six years,okay, yeah quite a bit of
difference different friends,different circle of friends,
different high school era,different grammar school era.
Just completely different.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Different group, yeah yeah, so what was life like?

Speaker 4 (04:42):
honestly, um, when I was in high school even growing
up before high school intomiddle school I was starting to
play travel ball and me and BigLarber, we were thick sleeves,
we did everything together.
My mom stayed at home withMiranda and did all of her cheer
stuff and all of herextracurricular activities and

(05:02):
he would go with me everywherewe would travel for basketball,
and that's when I started to getinto showing.
So he became a huge aspect inlife, with me showing showing
animals.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, what'd you show ?

Speaker 4 (05:13):
I showed um beef and dairy, so I did both.
And then, uh, I got a wild hairup my ass, senior year of high
school and I showed a turkeyHow'd that go?
Her name?
A turkey, how'd that go?
Her name was olga.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
She was literally the best thing ever we took first
in showmanship.
I didn't know what the fuck Iwas doing.
Honestly, how do you train aturkey?
You don't?

Speaker 4 (05:31):
she trained me, yeah we literally got to fair in july
and they're like okay, well,which one's yours?
I was like I don't know, likeher band was like 78 or
something I guess like, and so Ijust picked up a random turkey
and we went to show.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
What happened to the turkey?

Speaker 4 (05:46):
Oh, she became like turkey for Thanksgiving dinner.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
I'm sure.

Speaker 4 (05:52):
But yeah, like I said , me and Big Larber, we were
literally thick as thieves so wetraveled to jackpots together
pretty much every weekend.
He was hooking up a trailer andpulling with me, so we were
honestly best friends.
I could say to this day thatwe're still best friends, so,
but pretty much normal, I meancoming home every day and you

(06:12):
know he was working quite a bitand he was actually working from
home.
It's so funny because we alwaystell everybody like my dad
worked from home and so I knewto manipulate and manipulate him
and be like hey.
I need tampons, but can youbring me lunch too?
So we loved that, that heworked from home.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
So it was always nice Miranda did the same shit yeah.

Speaker 4 (06:35):
So it was always nice having him close and like
having him just here too andknowing that we can always, you
know, call him if we needed him,so being able to rely on him
when mom was like away from workwas nice, so so you were just
regular dad drink a little bitoh, I drank quite a bit when
yeah, I mean honestly like whenwhat then?

(06:55):
Don't fucking ask yeah honestlylike they would have friends
over um him coaching high schoolfootball.
He, oh hi Frank.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Then apparently my dog just come running up here.

Speaker 4 (07:10):
Him coaching high school football.
Everybody would come over Allthe coaches.
We kind of bebopped around fromdifferent houses.
We would go to one coach'shouse one weekend after a
football game.
We would go to our house.
That was always fun memories.
Everybody else had kids that wekind of grew up and ran around
with.
The coaches would come backafter stressful games and have a
couple of cocktails, like Imean, or beers or whatever, and

(07:30):
that was so normal, yeah it wasvery, very normal and even in my
high school career is the samething.
My dad coached at the highschool from 2001 up until about.
He took a year off until 2016when I graduated, so he was
there for 15, 14 years.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
I was there all through Miranda's, all four
years of Miranda's and then allfour years of hers, but I was
there, I think, four years orfive years before Miranda even
got into high school.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
Coaching.

Speaker 4 (07:55):
So, like I said, I mean 2001,.
The school opened, you werepretty much there.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
I started in 03.

Speaker 4 (07:59):
Yeah, so, um, up until my senior year of high
school that was just normal.
All the coaches used to comeand bounce around from houses
again, and I used to my senioryear I would hang out with them
for a little bit and then fallasleep and go to work the next
morning, like it was just such anormal routine and nothing was
ever a red flag then.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
When did you see a red flag?

Speaker 4 (08:21):
Honestly not until the last year of… what?

Speaker 2 (08:28):
When everything was great, right.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Yeah, a red flag honestly, not until the last
year, of what?

Speaker 2 (08:30):
but I think it's great, right, yeah, no, it was,
life was good.
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, I mean I I was, it wasn't.
Now I'm gonna, I'm gonna askyou a question go ahead.
Would she be more apt to sayand I know she was the last one
in the home, but to see the redflags later, since you guys are
of a certain type.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, I mean, I think .
I mean you're going to have to.
You know she's going to have toanswer these questions.
I think the red flags startedto come up.
You know, I would imagine Imean, she may say the same thing
probably, I don't know probablytowards the end of my IPC years
, right before I bought mytrucking company and moved on

(09:04):
past that she graduated in 16.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
So that's not too far .

Speaker 1 (09:06):
No, it's about the same time.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah, what'd you see?

Speaker 4 (09:10):
Honestly, I think I was so like I was in my early
twenties, like when shit startedto kind of hit the fan and how
does?

Speaker 2 (09:18):
how did it hit the fan?

Speaker 4 (09:20):
Like him progressing in his drinking.
Like you know, instead ofseeing one case that he was
buying per week, he was nowbuying two.
Like you know, just theprogression of it.
But, like I said, I was soyoung and so in my 20s and like
focusing on pretty much myselfand like growing into this
person that I wanted to become.
I had just graduated beautyschool, still trying to figure
out what the hell I wanted to doin life and um back and forth

(09:43):
in a relationship.
So I really unfortunately andthis sounds so shitty to say I
wasn't really focused on familyat that point in my life.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
It's not shitty, you're just being your girl yeah
, I was being 20 a thousandpercent

Speaker 4 (09:53):
yeah I was definitely just trying to find myself, so
I wasn't home a lot.
I used to stay with um, youknow my ex at the time.
We were always together so,like I said, I wasn't really
here a lot so I didn't see muchand so I really didn't start to
pick up on signs, up until thelast year of his addiction.
That's when Patrick and I wereliving here and there was some

(10:17):
things that would just kind ofthrow us off a little bit.
Such as we knew that he wouldget up early.
He was leaving the house beforeeverybody else was pretty much
even awake, and so he.
When we would get home fromwork he would be passed out on
the couch and you know.
But I was like, well fuck, he'sjust tired.
Like I would be tired too if Iwas getting up that early,
driving an hour, working allfreaking day and then driving an

(10:40):
hour was that drive to lasvanas?

Speaker 1 (10:41):
yeah, yeah, time.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
Okay, what was the company that you bought with old
boy?
That is, that after Before.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
No, no, no, that was before.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
This was before, no, no no, the company was before
that she's talking about Right.
Yeah, Because I'm one, becausethe hiccup I want to get to I
think all the stress and thatwith buying the company right
you, I think all the stress andthat with buying the company
right Everything, you'rethrowing all the eggs in that
basket.
Then it not working out.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
Kind of was.
Was that when everything wasthat when it started going.
You know there was a for for me.
I mean for when I startedfeeling the depression really
start to come in.
Was, was after that.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
I mean, I was with the, the one company, for almost
15 years and I kind of toppedout as far as what I could do.
I couldn't really promote, Icouldn't really go anywhere.
So I was kind of topped outthere.
I wasn't going to do anything.
So I was looking for otheroptions and what to do and when
the trucking company that waspresented to me, I jumped on it

(11:39):
and I thought it was going to be, you know, I thought it was it
Right.
I mean, I threw it all in andit just didn't work.
And you know a lot of it, Ithink.
But my drinking was pretty heavyat the time.
It was, you know, and I madesome very poor decisions with
that purchase.
You know I there's some lookingback on it now as a sober, as

(12:00):
sober business person there area lot of red flags for me that I
should have done differently.
But then again, you know,hindsight's 2020 always right.
So, but when that didn't workand I realized that you know the
financial stress that I'd putthe family in and this, this,
the hole that I had dug, youknow, the depression went deeper

(12:23):
and I had a parachute to getout of it and when I went to the
parachute.
It just wasn't what I wantedand my depression got deeper.
And then I got another deal withyou know as being the general
manager, which was a title.
It really more than anythingelse, you know and I think I've
said that on the on here beforeyou have and you know, the title
was more than that.

(12:43):
It was to me was everything.
So and I and I'd worked hard todeserve it, I really did.
I mean, I was offered theposition based off of you know,
my knowledge and what I'd done.
I just, but I at that time Iwas so deep in my depression
that the you know, the drinkingsubsided for a short period of

(13:04):
time, right until I got you know, until I got in a routine of
where I was at with with thatcompany, and it was just a
period.
Then it was just a slipperyslope from there.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
Right, it was just a slippery slope so you'd come
home seeing passed out, thinkinghe's just tired yeah then when
did that change?
Because we're not talking?

Speaker 4 (13:22):
not too long ago, really yeah, I, we just
celebrated three years.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
Uh-huh.

Speaker 4 (13:27):
Yeah, so I mean not fresh, but still fresh.
At the same time, there's stilla lot of memories that hold on
too.
But yeah, I honestly justthought that he was tired and so
we were like, okay, whatever,not thinking much of it, much of

(13:48):
it, and um, he would wake upfrom his nap.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
Grab a tall can hang out with us eat dinner.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Go to sleep at 8 30 which is if I ate dinner, yeah,
yeah that's very true.

Speaker 4 (13:52):
Yeah, um, so that was just like a normal routine how
heavy was it this time?
Weight wise or drink wise,weight wise it's so when did?

Speaker 2 (14:00):
you go through that little 40 pound about the the
last four weeks.

Speaker 4 (14:03):
Yeah.
So no, yeah, we hadn't hit thatpoint yet.
So that was just like our newnormal.
And then I started to see a lotof red flags.
Patrick would make comments tome about, like you know, your
dad's doing X, y and Z and I'mlike, oh no, like I think, I
just didn't want to believe itand I was just like he doesn't

(14:24):
have an issue, he doesn't havean issue.
And then you know my mom makingit more pronounced that there
was becoming a bigger issue.
And you know we look right hereand we have a fridge sitting
right here, because this wasPatrick and I's old room and
that fridge was purchased with alock on it to hide all of our
alcohol.
And as soon as we were giventhat and my mom sat down and

(14:46):
said like, look, we're gonnahave to figure this out, because
if you know big layer leaves,we're all gonna have to come
together and figure this stuffout, because my mom was in such
a bad place at that moment hegoes where just we had talked
about removing him from thehouse.
Oh, I gotcha, so, so hold on.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
So this, this, with the lock that we've got here for
our water, that we use for usefor our water.

Speaker 4 (15:03):
This is OG, that was OG.
Yeah, no, I swear to God thatwas purchased for you.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
For us, yeah, so put your liquor in and lock it from
Pim.

Speaker 4 (15:11):
Yeah, but look at that dinky ass lock.
It didn't work.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
Well, I'm sure we're a resource.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
So there's talk about removing him from the situation
.

Speaker 4 (15:28):
Yeah, you, patrick, and it was.
It was, uh, mckinnon's fiance,by the way.
Yes, yeah, and katie, yeah, um,at that point I think my mom
had just exhausted every option,um, but again, that was
conversations that would be helddownstairs that patrick and I
did not see.
So we genuinely did not know,like, what they were going
through as a couple.
They sheltered it very wellfrom us, as you know, a married
couple should.
I don't think it was to thepoint where we needed to be

(15:49):
involved just yet, but when mymom sat down and gave us you
know that, you know it becamevery real.
For me.
But again, like I said, me andmy dad are you know, he's my
best friend Like I just couldnot see it.
Like my dad does not have aproblem, Like he can snap out of
it, and I think that's sonormal.
And I've talked to many peoplelike oh they'll get through it,

(16:11):
like it, they don't have anissue.
So that's what my mentality was.
And it was not till we weregoing somewhere and it was after
Christmas and Patrick wasactually working with you guys
still, and so he was gifted asuper nice bottle of whiskey and
we actually hid it in ourcloset.
It was like buried.
Patrick hated it.

(16:31):
It was like gross.
He was not a fan of it anywaysand so we were getting ready and
he was like babe, like I thinksomebody drank that whiskey, and
I was like what?
He's like, yeah, that whiskey,like completely gone.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
And I did not drink that.
So was the bottle gone or justbottle empty?

Speaker 4 (16:48):
it wasn't empty it was like halfway through and he
maybe had like one glass out ofit.
So I'm like my dad would notcome into our room and do that
get in the closet.
Yes, find some whiskey yes,drink half of it and drink half
of it alcoholic would not dothat no, like I was being
alcoholic, but lar.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
so Well, an alcoholic would, but Larry wouldn't by
God.

Speaker 4 (17:06):
Yes, and so I was just holding out that hope,
holding out that hope, and Patwas like McKenna, I'm telling
you I did not drink this.
So we were actually going todinner with him and I remember
it was just I was loading all mystuff up into the truck and I
looked did you go into our roomand drink that whiskey?
Clicked.

Speaker 3 (17:23):
You knew he was lying , I was like oh yeah, it was
fucking wild.

Speaker 4 (17:28):
I have never had that tingling feeling of literally
his eyes pierced my eyes and helied to me and I was like holy
shit, there is an issue.
So fast forward, a couple weekswe had all gotten COVID
together.
It was a great time.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
So this is 2020?
.

Speaker 4 (17:48):
Yeah, yeah, oh, no 21 .
My mom went to Disneyland, me,my dad and Pat.
It was July actually, so Julyof 21.
We had all gotten COVIDtogether and my dad, my
grandfather, was actually in thehospital as well with COVID.
He's the one who had the lungcancer, so he was kind of
struggling a little bit.
My dad was very worried which,granted, any kid should be and

(18:13):
he was just off his fuckingrocker and we had never seen him
like this.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
How so.

Speaker 4 (18:19):
He was just like freaking out.
He was pacing around the houseLike he had restless leg
syndrome, like he just likecouldn't grasp, like onto real
life, like he didn't feel good.
None of us felt good, none ofus had really good energy.
He was worried about, you know,my grandpa and what was going
on with him, and nobody wasreally communicating with him,
but they were trying to let himget better.
And so, um, we had some b12shots left over in our fridge

(18:44):
and this fucking guy me andpatrick was sitting at the
countertop eating soup and hewas like your sister needs to
come and give me this freakingb12 shot.
And he was just being veryimpatient.
And so he took this freakingneedle and just shoved it into
his arm like crazy.
And me and pat just looked ateach other and we were like holy
shit, like this is not the lairbear that we know.

(19:06):
So there was just like thoseinstances and those red flags
really became where we were likeoh my God, like okay.

Speaker 2 (19:14):
Did anybody say anything to him?

Speaker 4 (19:15):
Like you got a fucking problem, oh my mom was
about to drive home from Anaheimbecause we were blowing her up
Like he's going mental, likebatshit crazy.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
I was in batshit.

Speaker 4 (19:24):
He had downed a bottle of wine too.
I remember you telling us that,not that bottle of wine, right?

Speaker 1 (19:28):
I don't remember.

Speaker 4 (19:29):
I mean I no you had said that day it had fucked you
up because you had downed abottle of wine Probably lied
yeah.
Yeah, I mean.
But we were just like holy shit, like granted COVID it, granted
COVID whatever.
He just was not in the rightmindset for sure.

(19:49):
So that's when we were justlike, okay, you know, there is a
bigger issue here.
And we were at that point wewere really sheltering, like
while we were here, all of ourfriends used to come here.
This was like the house thateverybody came and hung out with
.
You know, my parents loved,they love all of our friends and
all of Patrick's boys love mydad so much and they literally
talk about all the time.
We've been moved out for twoand a half years now and they're
like we need to go see Larberand I'm like, yeah, go so, but

(20:13):
he would, everybody would justcome and drink with Larber, like
it was just fun and you knowthe party house.
And so we started to limit thata lot more because we were
trying to respect my mom and her, trying to shelter him from all
the alcohol, not knowingeverything he had hidden and
everything that he was doingoutside of what we knew.
So you know, we were trying totake um steps to help my mom

(20:36):
rather than help my dad at thatpoint, because there was no
longer any more helping him.
So I mean, he made thatdecision so, and at that point I
feel like we kind ofdisrespected it and we tried to
help as much as we could.

Speaker 2 (20:50):
But I mean he already had his own path, yeah, so wow,
but really, if you think aboutit, it it was fast.
I mean social drinking.
Social drinking, you know, thenfun.
But then the break.

(21:11):
You talk about the depression.
I've listened to his story aswe talk about this.
The trucking company that hebought lost, and then you wanted
that title, which is somethingto get some self-respect back in
your own mind.
And then the burying everything.
Yeah, I mean I just, and itjust.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
you know that that period of time that she's
talking about does anything thatshe said is that because you oh
?

Speaker 2 (21:33):
I remember all that, yeah but there's going to be
different, I'm sure no, Iremember all that.
And then we talked to katie.

Speaker 4 (21:38):
She's oh yeah, just like the gospels there's some
shit that we've all seen, thatsomebody else hasn't either.
You know, like miranda didn'tlive here when we were going
through the dark depths of theshit with him.
You know and that is no faultof her own, you mean nobody's
fault at all you know, like shehad her family, she had her life
, like, but she definitely washere and saw a lot of the

(22:01):
characteristics of him being analcoholic and she was the first
one to be like, look, you know I, this is serious shit.
You know we need to figure thisout.
And we were just like like,I'll be fine, you know, like,
but she honestly was the one whopointed out and be like there's
something not right.
So I have a lot of respect forher.
I know that.
You know my mom fought and sheobviously had seen all the signs

(22:24):
did we try to think what it was?

Speaker 2 (22:26):
besides you guys talking and trying to shield him
and help katie, did you guystry anything?
You know, like hey dad, did youthink I mean it?
He's?

Speaker 4 (22:34):
so hard I know yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean we had sat
down, and I think that he saidlike, okay, I'm gonna stop, and
so him stopping was him stopbuying cases of beer.
And then he would make it seemlike, okay, well, I'm only
buying three tall cans a daywhat you guys saw plus the
whiskey, plus you know x, y andz that we had no clue about.

(22:55):
But we had no clue.
You know him coming out ofrehab and talking to you know
some of our friends and sayinglike, oh yeah, like I was buying
a pint of whiskey and puttingit in my coffee and then I would
go to work and have a talk andthen do x, y and z and then on
my way yeah, even me.
I hadn't heard that yet and Iwas like how the fuck are you
functioning?

Speaker 2 (23:15):
we are miracles, I would need my stomach pumped out
.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
That's crazy you know , but all that's progression
right over a period of time.
I mean, I started, I starteddrinking.
You know well my, like I said,the gastric bypass in 07 changed
my dynamic of how I drinkcompletely right.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
Completely, and we've talked about that Right.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
I mean, I went from drinking occasionally to
drinking every day, right, Acouple, not like this, right?
So when we talk about it beinga progressive disease, you know
I can go back to July 3rd iswhen I got July 3rd.
2007 is when I got my gastricbypass.
Six months after that, you know, November, or, sorry, January,

(24:00):
February, is when I took myfirst drink of beer with a
neighbor across the street andit kind of just went from there
I realized it didn't bother me,my stomach was fine, Fuck it,
I'm going to.
You know I can drink beer nowand I'd start drinking with the
neighbors and you know it.
Just, it was just a social thingfor such a very long time.
You know, and in my industry, Imean, everywhere I go, it's,

(24:21):
you know it, it's bar, bar, bar,bar.
We'll meet at the bar, We'llmeet at the bar, We'll meet at
the bar.
You know, and that's just theway life was, and it the
conferences I would go to andblah, blah, blah.
It was just normal life.
But you know, in 2016, or,sorry, 2000, probably right
around 17, 18, after I'd boughtthe company, when me and my

(24:45):
partner was together, thedrinking would escalate.
Then for the beer, right, itstill wasn't whiskey.
I wasn't mixing the whiskey.
Then the whiskey didn't startuntil probably I don't know
somewhere around 21,.
Right around there about 20.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
July of 2021 is when.
Right, it was just before youcan handle the beer, you just
can't handle your whiskey.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
It was just before COVID, I know that that I was
starting to put whiskey into mymorning coffee because I
couldn't.
You know, I just wantedsomething to settle the nerves
and I wasn't even drinking beer.
It was just a little whiskeyand the coffee on the way, and
then it just escalated.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Just a little whiskey and the coffee I know.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
On the way, just a little whiskey, and the coffee.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
See how we minimize it.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
Yeah, it just.
And you know, looking back onit now, I can, you know, looking
back, you know I can see theescalation it got to where you
know where it got.
But you know, when I was inthat depths of hell that I was
living in the depression.
You know I was fighting thedepression more than I was

(25:53):
fighting the alcohol.
Does that make sense?
I mean I?
I mean I was trying to resolvemy depression with alcohol, with
alcohol.
So I didn't really give a shitabout the alcohol.
I was concerned about mydepression that I was so deep
into thinking that this alcoholwas helping me cope with it when
in reality it was making itfive times worse.

Speaker 2 (26:14):
So now, mckenna, once you realized, oh shit, lair
Bear's got a fucking problem,what did you think of your
father?
Honestly, worried, I'm fuckingproblem.
What did you think of yourfather?
Honestly, I'm worried, I'm sure, but did you?
Because you know most peoplechildren think their dad is
superman.
You know that's yes, and whenyou see superman's got cracks,

(26:37):
would you think your dad then?

Speaker 4 (26:39):
honestly, that was the first time that I ever saw
my dad as an actual human being.
So, you know, I see my dad asmy dad, but I never saw him as
the person who had struggles orthe person who was a friend.
And you know, I I didn't seehim that way until we realized
that his addiction was so badand I saw him as a struggling

(27:01):
man.
That was the first time that Ireally like rocked me.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
So, how'd you process that?

Speaker 4 (27:08):
Honestly, it took me a while.
I didn't really process ituntil probably when he got home
from rehab.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Yeah it was.
So you guys have been inrecovery, the whole family
really, and that's the way it isis in recovery together.
Yeah, at their own pace in theright way.

Speaker 4 (27:22):
And like every day is new I mean even three years
later every day is new.
I mean, even three years laterevery day is a new day.
We're still learning, like howto cope with, you know, being
like him, being sober, like sowhat's the difference now?
nothing I mean other than himnot fucking having a drink.
But I mean, like you know, youthink back and I'm like,

(27:43):
especially now we're doing allof these like big events and you
know we're with people.
We were'm like, especially nowwe're doing all of these like
big events and you know we'rewith people.
We were with people thisweekend and they're all drinking
and you know, I heard somebodysay oh yeah, I've been told not
to offer your dad a drink.
So like that is different.
Hearing people like kind oftreat him differently is more
kind of upsetting to me.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
How, so why?

Speaker 4 (28:03):
I don't know.
Like I feel like it's just it'snot normal for them, but it's
normal for me.
So it's like to hear somebodysay that like oh yeah, they told
me not to offer dad a drink.
I'm like, oh fuck, offer himdrinks.
See what he says.
Like I mean good luck.
Like I don't know why, as astigma, and I mean it's not as
bad as it used to be, but therestill is yeah, absolutely.
And now, like, being in thisthree years, I'm sure as a

(28:26):
rookie, you know like me, notbeing around this aspect of our
life and being around people whodon't drink, I probably would
have been the same way, like, oh, you're an alcoholic, I'm not
gonna offer you a drink, like,but now that I've been around
this for three years, going nowgoing on four, but, um, you know
, it's so normal to me so I'mlike you're, you're in a fuck.

(28:47):
Yeah, like that's awesome.
Like you know my dad, like heis, you know it's.
It's so rewarding to talk topeople because you don't.
They always say like you don'tknow it could happen to you,
until it does.
And it fucking happened to us.
So it literally like took ourworld up and shook us around and
then put us back on.
It was like, okay, figure itout.
Yeah, so, um, it's like tookour world up and shook us around

(29:07):
and then put us back on.
It was like okay figure it outLike a snow globe.
Yeah, so it's like one of thosemagic eight balls Like are you
going to be fucked up today?

Speaker 3 (29:12):
You're like yes or no .

Speaker 2 (29:18):
We've got to buy one for FFI Studios.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
They have them, they literally have them.
Outlook Right, not print.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (29:27):
Is it going them?
They literally have an outlookright.
Not, yeah, is it gonna be ashitty day?
Is it gonna be a good day?
So, and honestly, I thinkthat's like kind of how you have
to take.
This is just day by day andthat's how we did it.
Um, I mean, even the first dayyou know he talks about, when he
called pat, we weren't home, wewere going to the races when
everything went down and hedecided to finally go to rehab.
Um, we were going out and wewere racing in Glen Helen.

(29:47):
So I got a phone call first.
I believe that day is honestlya blur for me.
I believe it was from my dadfirst.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
I think it was me.

Speaker 4 (29:59):
Yeah, my dad called me and it was so random and I
could tell he was crying and hesaid hey, babe, I may not see
you when you get home.
I'm going to rehab and so, um,that's pretty much all he said.
And then he hung up and so Iwas a bomb yeah, I was like what
the fuck what?

Speaker 2 (30:18):
do you think?
I mean, you think I had nothing?
No, nothing I was.

Speaker 4 (30:22):
I think I was in such a complete shock because it
wasn't talked about at all.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
Like that word really wasn't.
It was talked about like behindthe scenes, but not.

Speaker 4 (30:29):
Very much so, like it wasn't.
We never sat down and said,like dad needs to go to rehab.
You know, like Miranda had saidlike hey, we probably need to
figure something out.
My mom had said like hey, youknow, we were trying to make him
take account for his actionsbefore.

(30:50):
We were just like, okay, fuckit.
Like you know, this is what youneed to do so but he wasn't, he
was being hard-headed, he wastoo deep into his addiction.
That's okay, like we've figuredit out.
So, um, I remember I think Icalled my mom next and I was
like dude, what the fuck ishappening?
Like you know, here we are downin Anaheim, like driving up to

(31:12):
Glen Helen or down to Glen Helen, and we weren't here to be in
this chaos with everybody and bea part of the family and
support each other.
Um, my sister called me.
She kind of gave me the lowdownand God bless my sister because
she literally was the rockthrough that whole situation.
Um, but she took that fuckingbull by the horns and made moves

(31:37):
and started to like figure shitout.
And, um, she got it done.
And I remember her calling meand saying like, hey, we're
waiting for Maynard to call usback.
They think that they're goingto have him a spot on Monday.
Can you guys please be home?
We're going to go.
And so I was like, yeah,absolutely.
He tried to call Pat and Patdidn't answer.

(31:57):
We've all heard that story.
So Pat honestly did not knowwhat to say and that's his story
to tell as well.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
Oh, we'll get that one, honestly did not know what
to say and that's his story totell as well.

Speaker 4 (32:06):
Um, yeah, absolutely I think he saw me hurting so bad
as to like feeling like fuck,like we failed, like we couldn't
support him to get him throughthis situation in his life.
Um, so he was trying to supportme as best as he could and I
think he was so fucking pissedat my dad and just like fuck,

(32:26):
like I wish he could havefigured it out.
So I know that's again hisstory and he'll be able to tell
it.
So we raced, we got thatweekend done, we came straight
home on Sunday, figured it outand, thank you, monday they
weren't able to get us intoMaynard's.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
Hold on See how she said that.
Yeah, how'd she say it.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
She said that Monday they weren't able to get us into
Maynard's.
Get us All right, that's family.

Speaker 4 (32:57):
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean honestly, from day one.
He did the fucking footwork,but it took us all took us all.
Like you know us for we call itthe core for me, miranda, larry
and Katie, like we are the corefor it took us, for plus our
spouses, plus the grandbabies,to get us to where we are at

(33:19):
today, because I think thatwithout all of us and if we
walked away from him, hewouldn't be sitting here.
So I give praise to everybodybecause we did it together as a
family.
So um.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
How do we decide on Maynard?

Speaker 4 (33:35):
I honestly I think Miranda just started pulling
strings and she put a driverthrough there before.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
I knew Maynard because I I ran a driver through
there and I told them just callMaynard, I want to go to
Maynard.
I knew Maynard because I ran adriver through there and I told
them just call Maynard's, I wantto go to Maynard's.
I knew that's where I wanted togo.
Yeah, I'd already been, I'dalready made I mean, I already
made some inquiries up thereonce before, so it wasn't the
first time.
This was just my moment ofclarity where I was like I'm not

(34:03):
going to be able to do this onmy own.
Yeah, mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
Thank you, patrick, for not answering the phone that
you didn't even know about.

Speaker 4 (34:11):
Yeah, God, he's really good at that.
Sometimes he doesn't answer myfucking phone calls either.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, that's bullshit .

Speaker 1 (34:16):
I know I'm having that, yeah, it was that, yeah,
it was that.
I mean, you know, if you wereever looking for a sign, I mean
it wasn't a sign, it was just me, because at that point I was
like I just, you know.
Basically, you know, for me,and I've always said this,

(34:37):
earning people's respect is byfar what drives me.
You know, once I get somebody'srespect to lose, it is dreadful
for me and I couldn't fathomthat I'd lost, you know, his
respect in that, because I knewI'd already lost my wife's, I
knew I'd already lost mydaughter's, I knew Eric had kind

(35:00):
of which is Miranda's husband,eric had kind of just said
whatever.
You know, he's kind of lost outon me too.
And you know, pat was the lastone that I would go out and, you
know, hang out in the garagewith and at least be able to be
social with.
And when he didn't answer, youknow it was just that's it for

(35:21):
me.
I got to go Right, it was justthe last, it was just that last
thing and and uh, uh, yeah, Idon't know, I didn't realize
we're gonna go that deep, butsorry, no, that's it's all right
.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
It's all right I've been waiting for this for 50
fucking episodes I know, let meask you a question, larry, I'm a
great listener.
Yep, and I remember, except Ididn't remember my fucking
appointment today at 5 30 fordinner.
Anyway, you've always said thatyou don't know how people that
would get to the depths that wedid could just come into the
rooms and do it withouttreatment.

(35:54):
Now try to imagine people thatdo that, but without this.
But I had the same thing youdid.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
The support system.
I'm always impressed withpeople you know, especially
single people that come in,people without kids, people that
are.
You know that's easier.
Well, I, I don't.
I.
I think I'm impressed.
The reason why I say I'mimpressed is because if I didn't
have anybody, I'd have justfucking drank until I was dead.

(36:24):
I wasn't in no hurry to getsober, but at that point I
hadn't lost anything.
I hadn't lost my job, I hadn'tlost my license, I hadn't gotten
a DUI.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
Just a self-respect of the respect of the family.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
I just lost the respect of what I pretty much
ousted my entire family.
I didn't have anything leftunder this roof that was
supporting me.
You know, I mean I was like Isaid a job was fine, I was doing
great, I licensed and I hadn'tdone anything wrong.
In the eyes of employment,right, but in the eyes of you

(37:00):
know, people ask me.
I just had this conversationwith somebody the other day.
They said, well, everythinglooked fine.
I said, well, you didn't gohome with me, right?

Speaker 2 (37:08):
You weren't in the truck with me, right, so?

Speaker 3 (37:11):
now she.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
I don't talk to you.
She's much prettier.
So now she takes off to rehab.
So he's for 28 days.
You don't have him.
That's good, right?
You're thinking he's gettingbetter.
What are you thinking as he'sgoing through the year hoping
he's?
What do you expect to come home?
Do you expect anything?
Are you just?

Speaker 4 (37:28):
no, let's just see what happens so honestly, I mean
I think it goes back to two,like when we were driving up to
drop him off, we did the corefour all four dropped him off,
core four yeah, core four wentup, um, that was, I tell people.
All the time I felt like I wasdropping him off at jail, like

(37:48):
it was such a weird feeling, um,but almost kind of like a
joyous feeling at the same time.
Um, we knew some kind of hopeyeah, and kept our fingers toes
anything crossed, that he wasgonna come home and be
completely different, friend,dad, spouse.
Like you know, we just hoped,um, I'll never forget.

(38:11):
We walked around a little bitand kind of saw they put this,
put us in this trailer, thatlittle trailer that's kind of
off to the side, and uh, theycame in and kind of explained on
how it worked when overpaymentand yada, yada and um, and then
they prayed with us andliterally like as we all sat

(38:32):
there, we wept as a family andit was the first time in a while
that it felt like we were oneagain and I'll never forget that
feeling.
And when we had to say goodbyeto him, we were out in the

(38:52):
parking lot and he just held onto my sister and I and wet and
we stepped back and he grabbedmy mom and wet like a wet I've
never seen and I knew then hewas going to come home, a
different man.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
so, as much as it sounds so weird, that is such a
freaking memory for me Becausewe were saying goodbye to a
Larry that we never wanted tosee again.

Speaker 4 (39:26):
So I'll forever hold on to that as one of my most
favorite memories.
And that's again weird, no it'snot.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
That has impact.
That's amazing.
Do you remember who was prayingwith you?
It was Marty.

Speaker 4 (39:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
Marty, I love Maynards.

Speaker 4 (39:44):
I'll never forget either too.
I mean, we watched him again.
He was like walking into jail,like head held low, walking in,
and we watched him walk in andmy sister drove us home and oh
man, Miranda's driving kind ofscares me.
But I'll never forget when wegot in the car, us three, you
know, miranda and I just held mymom and let her do her thing,

(40:08):
and we knew that when we droveaway, the next time we were
going to be back there, it wasgoing to be completely different
.
Unfortunately, I didn't go upto pick him up.

Speaker 2 (40:19):
So no one came.
Did they allow visitation?

Speaker 4 (40:21):
No.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
Yeah they still had that closed down.

Speaker 4 (40:26):
And that was the hardest thing too.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
But maybe that was a good thing though.

Speaker 4 (40:30):
I don't think that he would have had the outcome that
he did if we were allowed to,Because I know for a fact that
if we took my mom up there hewould have said break me out of
this bitch, Like I'm going home,so with not my wife stayed away
the first Sunday.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
Well, the first Sunday I had a coworker come
visit me, but my wife and thekids didn't come up the first
Sunday.
They came up the second Sunday.

Speaker 4 (40:51):
Yeah.
She says, when she came up thatshe came up, that's when she
realized that I had a problem,because the swelling was gone,
my eyes were white instead ofyellow, yeah, and the shine was
gone, yeah, um, so when he camehome, completely different
person.
How so crazy the swelling, hewas not swollen.
Yeah, he was so swollen and Ididn't realize it until he came

(41:11):
home and even like looking atpictures like before he went and
kind of still when he came homeI was like holy fuck, like he
went, really swollen.
But I think my biggest worrywas before he left, he had
gotten the diagnosis of like hiskidneys were barely functioning
, like all of that shit, and hewas like tasting metal, like
everything he was eating likeyou couldn't eat because it all
just tasted like shit to him.

(41:32):
So we always say that when wego out to a food place and we
don't like it, oh, oh.

Speaker 3 (41:36):
it's just like shit, Cause that's all he used to say
all the time.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
Towards the end, yeah , towards the end.
It was just my, my everythingwas just creating acid, just
just everything was just kickingback.
I had the liver was shuttingdown.
It was just in a bad, bad wayand I wasn't, yeah, I couldn't
eat.
I lost bad, bad way and Iwasn't, yeah, I couldn't eat.
I lost, like I said, 45 poundsin the last three weeks.

(42:01):
But I mean, it's funny thatmckinnon said I was bloated.
I, I don't remember the bloated.
I remember my pants falling off, that I couldn't even fit in my
pants your face?

Speaker 4 (42:08):
no, it's probably my face, yeah you look like you got
stung yeah, and you're swollenand shiny, but even like your
tummy, like it was rounded.
Like that's like even lookingat you now, even when you came
home from rehab like you did notlook like that.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
So what was he like?
Like the first couple of days,the first weeks.
What was he like?
So, what was your first?
What was your guys' first whenyou, when you, when he got home
from rehab?
What was your guys' firstconversation, his first when you
, when you, when he got over we?

Speaker 4 (42:39):
have boy boys, your has his first conversation.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
What was your first interaction?
What was that?
I don't even remember, I don'teither I remember yeah so while
he was away.

Speaker 4 (42:43):
I'll kind of go back to that.
Um, we couldn't see him, so wewould write him letters.
Um, he would write us, and thenwe would get phone calls and I
I think I maybe got a couplephone calls out of that, which
was fine, but he would call andcheck into my mom and then, you
know, we would get that.
I knew exactly what that phonenumber was.
It would pop up.
I'm like oh my God, it's my dad.

Speaker 3 (43:02):
You know like it was so exciting.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
From jail.

Speaker 3 (43:03):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 (43:05):
But circling back to, I'll never forget walking in
and, granted, I didn't know, youknow this life of living with
an alcoholic parent or analcoholic person in your life.
So I'll never forget.
I had to take a couple days offof work when we were taking him
in, because we didn't end uptaking him in till that
wednesday oh, it's tuesday, itwas a tuesday okay, so tuesday.

(43:28):
So I took monday, tuesday off,went back wednesday um, I'll
never forget sitting in myboss's office because she pulled
me up and she just wanted tomake sure I was okay.
I mean, she kind of knew whatwas going on and I just kept
apologizing.
She was like don't apologize,like.
And I was like no, like I'mgenuinely embarrassed.
And she was like why are youembarrassed?
Like this is normal.
And now that I look back onthat and see how far he's come,

(43:51):
I that was such a selfish thingof me to say because I was just
thinking about me at the time,like I'm embarrassed of what you
think of me.
And now I've grown up andrealized that I don't give a
shit about what people thinkabout me.
But she sat there and opened upand said my dad's six years

(44:12):
sober, like I have walked yourshoes, like if you ever need
anything, not cool come and talkto me.
And it's so crazy to me,especially now because now
posting your guys's podcast onmy stories, I've had multiple
people reach out to me and say,hey, my mom or my cousin or my
boyfriend it's touched everybody, right.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
holy shit, yeah, like sometimes not somewhere we
don't, sometimes we don't.
Most of them, a lot of themthat don't share, they don't
share, they don't have this,they have the other story.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (44:38):
And so I mean now I'm proudly I talk about it Like
man fuck, yeah, my dad's sober.
It's an awesome feeling.
So now going back, but yeah, sowe were writing him letters,
whatever the first time that hecame home.
Or when he came home, my momwent up and got in.
I believe uncle philip too.

(44:59):
Yeah, I was uh, my brother andsister and my and katie yeah,
yeah, which that kind of corefor back on that too, I mean his
siblings plus his wife likethat's huge it was, uh, like I
said, I didn't expect.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
I kind of expected my sister to be there, and and
because I had talked to.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
I had talked to the first person that when you came
out.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
Brother was your brother yeah and you broke.

Speaker 4 (45:25):
Yeah, I can always get him yeah, um that's good,
though, baby yeah, so, um, Iremember getting a picture of
him picking up Cain from school,and that's the day that he came
home from camping.
We call it his camping trip.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
That's what you call Maynards.

Speaker 4 (45:46):
Yeah, his camping trip.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
That's what they told my grandson the grandbabies.

Speaker 4 (45:49):
Yeah, the grandbabies thought that Papa was camping.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
By himself.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
Yeah, Selfish Papa.

Speaker 4 (45:53):
He has camping friends.
Yeah, we have camping friends.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (45:56):
Selfish.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
Papa, he has camping friends.
We have camping friends.
I'm one of them.
Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 4 (45:59):
So Papa came home from his camping trip and he
picked up Cain and my mom sentall the pictures and the videos
and I think that it was justlike holy shit and I'll never
forget I had texted Patrick onmy way home and I listened to
worship music the whole way home.
I had so much anxiety.
I honestly felt like I wasdriving to my first job

(46:20):
interview Like I didn't knowwhat I was going to walk into, I
didn't know who he was going tobe Like.
I just I was genuinely like Ijust didn't know.
And so I mean, obviously hefreaking wrapped me up in a big
little hug like normal and I'msure we cried, but I just kind
of felt like we fell back intolife.

(46:41):
You know, like there wasobviously some changes.
Like we didn't keep a lot ofalcohol in the house and that
was just out of the respect forhim.
Me and Patrick collectivelymade that decision and he used
to get so mad at us and he wasjust like don't fucking alter
your lives, because I'm analcoholic, like you didn't do
that to yourself, right?

Speaker 1 (46:59):
so we were like, okay , I mean I was from the
beginning, yeah, from the verybeginning the bat.

Speaker 4 (47:04):
He was like don't alter your life.
Yeah, that monday, like boomgone and just from there on out,
like he just took the bull bythe horns and ran with it and um
, the first year it probablydidn't go by fast for you, but I
feel like we turned that cornerand it was like boom one year

(47:24):
sober, like that was such anaccomplishment and actually the
first year that did you see abig difference when he met the
greatest sponsor in the world,jesus?

Speaker 2 (47:32):
I'm around three and life, just life got great this
show's about me.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
Rob Shut up.

Speaker 4 (47:40):
I need to get him like a gold fucking star so he
can just keep like shining.
You know number one, yeah, soAaron keeps me humble.
Yeah, so the first year that wecelebrated, I actually wrote a
letter to the big book.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
I know.

Speaker 4 (47:57):
Yeah, did we read that here.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
We have not we read it somewhere though.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
We read it.
I read it at a no.
We read it to the Monday NightGroup when we were at Brad's
house Right.
We all cried.
That was amazing.
We got to get that and, larry,you sent it in to.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
I sent it in to the grapevine.
I don't think it ever.
God dang it.
I wish I should have brought itout here and read it right now
yeah, um, we'll give it.

Speaker 2 (48:20):
I get to read it though.
Okay, no, because you won't getthrough it.
It was great, though hold onyeah grab it, hold on, pause
this thing, we got time he's mehokay, so we're going where do
we leave off at?

Speaker 1 (48:33):
well, we were talking about the letter and we said
let's let's read it, so Istopped it, so we can find it
Now.
Read it yeah.

Speaker 4 (48:41):
Okay, so I was just telling Rob, I actually ended up
starting this while you were inrehab.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (48:49):
And just kind of worked on it here and there and
then when I knew that obviouslyyour year was coming closer, I
ended up finishing it and wasable to give it to you on.
Your one year anniversary wascoming closer.
I ended up finishing it and wasable to give it to you on your
one year anniversary and, um,I've made it a tradition.
I actually owe you a balloonfor this year, but as a
tradition I get a big starballoon and I put like one year
down, two year down, three yeardown, so I need to get that for
you a little bit late but yeah,I'm gonna get back to drinking

(49:11):
hurry up with that one so, um,but yeah, just trying to keep a
good tradition.

Speaker 3 (49:16):
It's like a fucking birthday candle you know like
this is just important yes, very, very important.

Speaker 4 (49:21):
So, um, this is.
I wrote a letter to the, to thebig book, and um, it says dear
big book, if you type your nameinto a google search bar, the
big book, it will give anoverview of what your purpose is
.
It states Alcohol Anonymous thestory of how more than 100 men
and women have recovered fromalcoholism is a 1939 basic text

(49:44):
and that's in bold andunderlined, describing how to
successfully recover fromalcoholism.
As I read that text, I can'thelp but refer back to how the
words basic text.
These two words seem sononchalant to me as I over that
text.
I can't help but refer back tohow the words basic text.
These two words seem sononchalant to me as I overthink
it.
I can't help but wonder ifanyone else has chuckled at that

(50:05):
bold statement Google hasattached to you.
The overview of what text lieswithin you should have a whole
lot more credit than what.
Google has to say yes, you havehelped hundreds and thousands
of women, men and women aroundthe world to recover from
alcoholism, but you have alsogiven hope back into broken
families, parents back to theirchildren, a child back to their

(50:26):
parents and a friend back topeople who love them.
There is so much more that youdo that it goes unrecognized.
April 12th, a day that willforever be etched into my
family's minds.
This day to me seems like youhandpicked my family to practice
and spread your word.
It's like when people say Godhandpicked you.
I think he did just that.

(50:49):
He knew our family, what ourfamily needed at that moment in
time and gave my father thestrength to finally meet you.
I'm sure it was a rocky meeting.
There was probably somedisbelief, doubt and maybe some
harsh words flowing around, butjust like any good and healthy
relationship, you two worked itout.
He poured his heart and trustinto you for you to walk him

(51:09):
through the hardest times in hislife.
And you did just that Givingwords of encouragement,
forgiving statements andpowerful scriptures.
You got him past his first 30days.
This wasn't a very expensive30-day free trial.
May 10th was a new start for mydad and for those who loved him.
I will always remember drivinghome from work, crying and

(51:31):
screaming worship music.
There was this aching pit in mystomach that I couldn't tell if
it was like driving to aninterview with butterflies in my
stomach or getting pulled overby a CHP for going 90 in a 35.
It was just there, very present, and reminded me every second
until I pulled into thatdriveway.
The life of my dad, two sheetsto the wind, living amongst us

(51:54):
in the same exact house became afaint memory.
I was now walking into thefuture, a future where we had no
plans, no end goal.
We just knew we had work to doto make this house a home again.
And you were right there, rightnext to the soft tan colored
lazy boy chair.
You were right there every stepof the way.

(52:14):
Days passed, then weeks andthen months, and you were right
there every step of the way.
Days passed, then weeks andthen months, and you were still
there.
You were now gaining a newpersona.
Notes written on your pages forbetter understanding, posted
notes on what he felt wasimportant.
Hell, you even got a nice newcover.
It was no ordinary book cover.
It was a nice leather coverwith a space to hold your

(52:36):
currency and the serenity prayer.
You may wonder what I mean bycurrency, because that is not
what the chips are referred to.
I use this term because that'swhat I like to think of birthday
coins, as it's like working foryour first job and getting that
first paycheck.
The excitement of reaching thatmilestone in your life has all

(52:57):
become so worth it when you goand cash that first check-in.
I like to think that.
Think it is the same when yourbrothers and sisters get their
birthday coins.
They spend minutes, hours, days, weeks and months to get to
their next chapter and they areawarded with their paycheck A
colored coin that representstheir hard work and dedication

(53:17):
for X amount of time, just likea job.
You work a little harder andyou get promoted or you get your
next trip.
It's an accomplishment that isso rewarding to most.
You are proud when you get thatraise or a promotion, but by
God, nothing is better thanwatching someone get their next
currency at an AA meeting.
The pride that overcomes yourbrothers and sisters as they

(53:40):
stand up in front of their peersthat have pushed and helped
them along the way and say I amso-and-so and I am an alcoholic,
as they raise their month slashyear chip high in the air for
all to see.
That is an overwhelming emotionthat takes a toll on an
outsider like me.
Hell, I don't even know halfthe men and women that sit in
meetings along my father, butthey will forever be family and

(54:03):
I am damn proud of them.
Most kids growing up look attheir dads as if they are
superheroes, but as you grow upyou realize that superheroes are
just fantasies and that theyare just like me or anyone else,
normal human beings whostruggle like with everyday life
and can't revert time and doall the do-overs.
Some struggle more than most,and that's okay.

(54:26):
We're human.
There is one thing in life thatI wish I taught myself sooner
is that I can't fix everythingand everyone.
Again, I am only human.
It has been my biggest strugglethroughout my teenage to adult
years I'm a fixture.
My way or the highway soundslike larry shepherd huh and we
were gonna get through whatever,uh, life has thrown our way.

(54:49):
The trend carried intorelationships, friendships, work
and.
But in 2020, I found a brokenperson that I couldn't fix at
that time.
It was my turn to hit thehighway, learn to live my life
with a broken person so close tome but yet so far away mentally
.
I had no clue that this personwould one day turn into my real

(55:10):
life superhero, teaching me manylessons on how to let go and
let God to believe in myself andpush me to reach goals and go
further in life.
He was a breath of fresh air anda light at the end of the
tunnel for my family and I allbecause of you.
He's a 6'3, blonde hair,blue-eyed oaky from Waterford

(55:31):
that I am so proud to call myfather.
Some say he even has a bionichip pretty creepy, but he now
became Mr Fix-It, the sobersuperhero who saved his own life
and mended his family.
Not many superheroes can saythat they have saved themselves,
so that's pretty badass to me.

(55:51):
Now, with his cape of sobrietyflying in the wind behind him,
he worked through your steps andbecame the man we all know and
loved.
Again, he persevered throughhardships and overcame many
trials but he did it.
He proved to those who doubtedhis ability to stay strong wrong
and showed the mind power hehad over his disease.

(56:13):
Like I said, a superhero overhis disease.
Like I said, a superhero.
Obviously you know him as wellas I do, so I like to think that
his cape is made out of meltedboxes and Kettle Chip original
bags Very noisy andwell-deserved.
If anybody knows Big Claire, heloves Kettle One Chips, so big
buck.
I'd like to say thank you.

(56:34):
Thank you for coming into myfather's life and welcoming him
with your pages wide open,determined to help a broken
family become whole again.
You pushed through his stubbornhead, I'd say you left an
outstanding impression on hisfirst 30-day free trial that he
ended up becoming a lifetimemember to your word, encouraging

(56:56):
my dad to have the strength tohelp spread your passages and
open up the community ofbrothers and sisters that trust
in you.
You are now a part of yetanother family that has devoted
their lives to your word, totrust that you will keep my
father around to see hisgrandbabies grow up and grow old
with the love of his life.
We owe it all to you for givingus our father, friend, son and

(57:19):
husband back.
We will never be able to thankyou enough.
Here is your official welcometo the Shepherd family, your
sister McKenna Mae.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
That's good yeah.

Speaker 4 (57:32):
Honestly, I haven't read it in so long I forgot too.

Speaker 2 (57:36):
How did that make you feel, seeing that again?
Proud, you did so proud and I'mopen and I got the big book
open to the family after just topay one of my favorite pages.
What am I going to read?
I got it, don't?
I got highlights.

Speaker 3 (57:49):
It's all your poor book.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
No, but a big book that's falling apart.
It says since the home hassuffered more than anything else
.
It is well that a man exerthimself there.
He is not likely to get far inany direction if he fails to
show unselfishness and loveunder his own roof.
That should take you to page 19, doesn't it?
That reminds?

Speaker 1 (58:09):
you of page 19, doesn't it?
No, yes, it does.
I have no idea what you'retalking about, top of page 19.

Speaker 2 (58:13):
We feel that elimination of drinking is but a
beginning.
Top of page 19.
We feel that elimination ofdrinking is but a beginning.
A much more importantdemonstration of our principles
lies before us in our respectivehomes, occupations and affairs,
which means God didn't get ussober just because we didn't
have anything.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
I learned that so early into the rehab.
People have heard me say thatmultiple times.
You know I and I don'tencourage this and I don't say
it's a good thing but I knewfrom the very you know I, you
did a meeting every day forthree years.
Other people do 90 and 90, youknow it's.

(58:51):
I knew early on after about twomonths of, you know, hardcore
meetings and meetings andmeetings.
I needed my wife and I neededmy kids and I needed my family.
Right, I had to find thebalance.

Speaker 2 (59:06):
And that's different for everybody.

Speaker 1 (59:08):
Right.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
And you found yours.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
Yeah, and I, you know , I couldn't, uh, god damn it.
Um, I couldn't do it every day,you know, because it would have
.
You know, we've heard brand dodo it every day, I do, you know.
I remember listen, when Brandonwas on here, you know, 90 days
he decided to stay in rehab, youknow, and he, he created, you
know, resentment to it for 60 or60.

(59:30):
Right and he created resentment.
Well, I didn't, you know, I, II got to a point where I didn't
want to go to a meeting, no more, I just didn't want to go and I
hated that.
I didn't like that because whenI sat down at the meetings I
loved them, but I also wasmissing, katie.

(59:51):
I was missing my family.
I was missing that and it's thereason why I got sober, you
know.
I got sober to have arelationship with my wife, you
know, and my kids, and I neededthat to bolster my, my sobriety.
I needed that balance of familyand AA.

(01:00:12):
And now I have family, aa andwork, because I'm able to
balance all three and maintain avery happy and serene life.
Sometimes I allow the balanceto go over one way and I have to
self-correct and I say thisHappens all the time.
You and I talk about it all thetime, rob, I see you leaning one

(01:00:34):
direction.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
It's always the same fucking direction, though.
Always the same direction thatI lean Right, but I appreciate
it.
I got brothers to bring me back.
Rob Right, go do something foryour wife.

Speaker 4 (01:00:45):
Do something for yourself, quit yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:48):
And I knew this podcast was going to be hard to
hear For me it was hard.
I'm glad.
It was fucking great for youand, by the way, mary does not
have a cold.
I know he's been over there.
The whole time you know why it'shard for me to hear the pain
that my family went through,that you caused that, correct?

(01:01:09):
Yeah, it's hard for me to hearthat and I get mad at myself for
it, but in the same time I knowthat that's not me.
That's not me, that's not who Iam.
It is what it is.
You know we talk about theliving amends and this is all a
part of it.
Right Is recognizing thosepains that I cause and

(01:01:30):
continually trying to strive anddo better every day.
So that pain subsides in notjust me but in my family.
Right that?
That pain that I caused my wife, the pain that I caused my
daughters, the pains that Icaused let me, let me ask
mckinnon is the pain, the painthat he caused, what he did?

Speaker 4 (01:01:48):
is it worth it now, seeing that the man you got oh,
absolutely there you go andhonestly like I think that's
what makes it worth it?
Oh yeah, because we dosomething about right, yeah too,
like as he gets so emotional,as you know listening to hear
this big book, absolutely, but Ithink it's also him being very
proud of us as his girls to seehow far that we have come, and I

(01:02:10):
know that a thousand percentAll the time, yeah, yeah.
So I mean like obviously that'sa little bit harder for him to
speak up about and you know he'snot going to be the first to be
like I'm so proud of you guys,like you guys Bullshit.
No.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Bullshit.

Speaker 4 (01:02:24):
We fucking know.
We know, we know, we definitelyknow, we know.

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
I make sure to tell you guys how proud I am.

Speaker 4 (01:02:31):
Absolutely, but I think that that plays a lot into
your emotions.
Is you are so proud of us, justas we're so proud?
Of you, so I mean, I think it'sa two-way street here,
obviously, so we've watched youwalk your wash.
Oh my gosh, work your ass off,as you've seen us work our asses
off to get to that mendingplace too, for sure, yeah, and

(01:02:52):
it's, it was a, it gets betteras it goes on yeah absolutely.

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
And here's the thing, and I want to remind everybody
that's listening this was not.
Obviously, I wanted McKenna tobe able to come on, miranda's
going to come on and I thinkKatie's going to come on.
Now my nose is just all stuffedup and this is what we need,
people.
No, maybe let's talk afterwards.
It's never too late and I thinkthat you know people need to

(01:03:20):
hear this, to understand thatthese things are real.
This is how families heal.
This is what families wentthrough.
This is you know.
I'm using my family tohopefully help somebody else.

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
But this is healing.
This is healing this once again, again.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
This is good for us, right, but we're using us to
help many other people that Ipray can, can mend from this
right if somebody is goingthrough watching, know that
there's light.

Speaker 2 (01:03:52):
There can be light, there can there.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
can you know, we the couple things that we talked
about yesterday, we we werereading the wives in the big
book and I don't hate everythingabout that, the way it's that
chapter.
There's certain things in therethat remind us right, there's
some nuggets.
There's some nuggets in therethat remind us of the pain that

(01:04:15):
we caused the wives at home Inthat chapter.
When it's talking about thepains of the wives, that hits
home.
What doesn't hit home is whenthey try to give the alcoholic a
pass in that book, right,because that and that chapter.
But when they're talking aboutthe wives and they're talking
about the children and they'retalking about that, you know,
when they're talking about thewives and they're talking about

(01:04:37):
the children and they're talkingabout that.
I think my biggest, once again,didn't lose my job.
Never lost my driver's license.
I lost my family and that was,and that was by far the worst
thing that I could have lost,right, and uh, I think losing my

(01:05:02):
job would have mama would havebeen gone.

Speaker 4 (01:05:03):
Yeah, I mean, shit would have went a lot
differently, but I don't knowthough, because I think that you
were so far deep into your shit.
I think it, if we ever had tocross that road you were so just
kind of like, yeah, fuck it,you know, like you at the end I
think that if you lost your job,or if you got pulled over and
got a DRI, you're just like ah,fuck it, like, we'll figure it
out, like.
And then it's moving along.
I don't think it would havebeen a reality check.

Speaker 3 (01:05:31):
No, I was.
I was so far deep into mydepression and my drinking.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
I really, you know, I was looking for a place to die,
I was looking for a hole to goin, I was looking for some way
to check out a reality, andthat's what I was doing every
day.
And you know, thank God, amen,every day, thank God, yeah, that
you know I got the awakeningthat I got before something
drastic did happen.

(01:05:54):
Yeah, and I truly believe itwasn't far away.
I truly believe it wasn't, and Itruly believe it's still there.
Your body was already failing,my body was failing, but I truly
believe that something wasabout to fail.
Looking back, looking on thespeed of stuff starting to

(01:06:16):
collapse around me the littlestuff, the little stuff, the big
stuff wasn't far behind.
And I, like I said, I praiseGod that he woke me up and gave
me my my, my moment of claritywhen I needed it.
And you know, and I say this,that I looked over the edge of
that sidewalk at that moment andI had to make a decision of do

(01:06:48):
I go back to my family or do Ijust keep on this path?
Right, and thank God that hegave me the ability to turn
around, look at my family andsay, no, I choose my family
right, because I would have died.
There is no doubt, no doubt Iwould have died and missed all
this.

Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
No doubt I would have died and missed all this one
drink away.

Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
Oh yeah, you could have missed all this now I get
the privilege to watch me towalk mckenna down the aisle.
You know, I got to walk mirandadown.
I get to walk mckenna down theaisle.
I get to watch my grandbabies.
I get to.
You know, once again, not aboutme.
It's just this is the healingthat comes.

Speaker 2 (01:07:24):
It's about the things that we get from doing this
work.

Speaker 1 (01:07:27):
And that's what I wanted to make sure, and come
back around to.

Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
It's about.

Speaker 1 (01:07:31):
SRAA.
It's about what happened.

Speaker 2 (01:07:33):
I hope I get to do that one day.
Right, not anytime soon, emily,but I will get to do that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:42):
You know, it's just what we, we, it's just the joy.
You know these, the joy thatcomes out of the pain, I guess
is is it comes out of the work.

Speaker 2 (01:07:49):
Because what do we think?
Oh man, how am I gonna have anymore?
How am I gonna have fun?
Right, what am I gonna dealthat kind of thing?
I've never had more fun in mylife than the last 14 years of
sobriety doing stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:07:58):
I mean amazing times yeah, I wouldn't train him for
anything I can honestly say thatlair bear is actually a lot
funner sober than he is a drunkthere you go dude, he's a funny
guy, you know like, yeah, he wasfunny when he was drunk but he
would say stupid shit and we'djust like where the fuck did
that come from?
But now he's like tinkersasshole but he makes good

(01:08:19):
fucking jokes and you're likewhere the fuck did that come
from?
But now he's like, yeah, he'sasshole but he makes good
fucking jokes and you're likewhere the fuck did that come
from?

Speaker 1 (01:08:23):
You're actually funny , Sarcastic and I enjoy it, you
know, you know, but I was never,you know, I've never, ever been
that like giggly, laughy kindof guy.
I'm a very serious individual,Unfortunately.
That's just how.
That's how I roll.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
We don't let him be serious.
Brad doesn't let you, hedoesn't but unfortunately I am
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:08:42):
I mean, I'm very, I'm a very.
I think constantly about what Ineed to do next.
Right, I constantly think aboutthat and I pray about that.
Right, I pray about thatbecause it's not what I want.
I, you know, I want to find ahobby.
I want to do the things thatjoy.
I want it.
I don't want to continue tolive like this at 55 years old.

(01:09:04):
In just a few days, I want tobe able to.
This is what gives me joy.
You know what gives you.
You know, if you ask somebodywhat gives you joy, working with
another alcoholic and that'swhat it does that gives me joy
is working with another alcohol.
Doing this podcast gives meextreme joy, right, Reading the
stuff about podcasts and knowinghow I can reach out to people

(01:09:26):
in a different way, and you knowthat's what gives me joy.
Right, my joy is so inwardright that when McKenna says I'm
fun and I'm sarcastic and Ilove that, I thank you for that
compliment.
I don't see it.
I think I'm just being a dick,quite honestly but, it comes off
funny, I guess.
I'm a little, you know, I'm alittle blunt.

Speaker 2 (01:09:47):
That bluntness, oh God, yes.

Speaker 1 (01:09:50):
I'm not going to give it if I'm not willing to.
You know, if I'm not willing toreceive it, I ain't going to
give it.
Standing in line at Disneyland.
This was so funny.
We're standing in line atDisneyland.
I such a hard time becausethere was a girl in front of me
and she was probably four foottwo, four foot three at most.

(01:10:11):
Well, tammy was a giant to herand she wasn't a little person.
She had full, big personfeatures.
She wasn't a short, just super,super short.
And literally standing rightbehind us was a girl that was
probably six, two, probablyclose to the same age.
I wanted so bad to go first.
A little girl, I wanted to go.
Did you check your measurementsto make sure you're big enough
for this ride?
She was probably 26 or 27 yearsold.

(01:10:33):
I wanted so bad to say that.
And then I wanted those two tostand next to each other so I
could take a picture.
I wanted to take a picture, sobad I had to bite my tongue.
But that's fun shit to me, man.
I wanted it so bad, but youknow I had to bite my tongue.
That shit's funny to me.
Anyways, there's a little bitof my quirkiness, I guess.
Anyways, mckenna, I appreciateyou being honest and open.

(01:10:56):
You are a joy to me and yourmother, um, so is Miranda.
I mean, you know the the.
We are so blessed, my wife andI, that the two daughters that
we have just are amazing humanbeings, that they just know how

(01:11:18):
to handle life.
It doesn't happen by accident Onlife's terms and they take care
of shit.
One of my biggest concerns, asalways, is I don't want my
disease to flow downwards, right, so I'm very it happens, right.
We we deal with it all the time.
We see people get excited whentheir kids come into the program

(01:11:39):
and sit next to him.

Speaker 2 (01:11:40):
It's like they're not dead right.

Speaker 1 (01:11:42):
So I don't ever want my kids to even have to go down
that road, because if they godown, it's not the alcohol I'm
worried about, it's everythingelse that comes along with it,
it's the depression, it's, youknow, and I worry about that and
I watch it and I just you know,I think, grateful that there is
a place they can go.
Right and I think that I keepvery wide open to my, to my kids

(01:12:03):
and to my family and, quitehonestly, I'm wide open to
anybody that wants to talk aboutit, about the signs and the
help you know on it.
And I'm just going to wrap thisup by saying you know, if you
want to reach out to McKenna, ifyou're your, your daughter,
your son, anything like that,you can become recovery on
filter podcast at gmailcom.
I will get you in contact withMcKenna.

(01:12:24):
And I mean, you know, if you'reyour dad, your mother, your
sister, your anything isstruggling, don't be afraid to
reach out.
There's ways that you can reachthem to get them help Right.
There is always that way andyou know if not, you plant a
seed.

Speaker 4 (01:12:41):
Yeah, something down the road, something given my
dad's phone number out countlesstimes, I didn't even ask him,
honestly so it's just a randomass number is like do it yeah, I
mean, and it's not even like Isaid, it's so crazy to me the
people who have reached out andbeen like you know, after I post
you guys on my story orsomething like that, and they're
like like holy shit, like thisis awesome, like my so-and-so,

(01:13:02):
or this person I know is likestruggling, like oh, here's
their best number.
Call him, like, reach out tohim.
You know, here's the podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:13:09):
Like one out of 10 calls but yeah, you know, I've
had them.

Speaker 4 (01:13:14):
But the seeds been planted and I had nobody really
to talk to when we were walkingthis journey either.
So if I could be that person forsomebody just as you are for
other people as well, that givesme a purpose in life, because I
knew what that struggle feltlike, and being hopeless and not
really having anybody to turnto is a very, very lonely
feeling.
I'm very lucky that we livedhere at that time with my mom

(01:13:37):
and I'm sure she went throughher emotions.
But to be able to lean onsomebody like her, I didn't even
think about that as well asyeah, and having them here with
katie and katie not be alonegoing through that she was.
You know, katie had a god thing.

Speaker 1 (01:13:50):
Yeah, it was very katie had a lot of support from
and she'll talk about this shehad a lot of support from my
cousin's wife and from hercousins that live in la.
She had a ton of support frommy cousin's wife and from her
cousins that live in LA.
She had a ton of support.

Speaker 4 (01:14:01):
Oh my gosh, Her phone was ding ding ding ding Like
yeah, she was, she was.

Speaker 1 (01:14:07):
She was well loved by a lot of people.

Speaker 3 (01:14:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:14:10):
So I mean it doesn't replace her husband.
You know it doesn't.
I would hope it doesn't, but Imean she did she.
She'll probably talk about thatwhen she gets out here, so
anyways.
So recoveryunfilteredpodcastsat gmailcom.
Mckenna, you want to anythingelse?

Speaker 4 (01:14:28):
No, I mean, this is amazing.
I've had, like I said, I've hadso many people reach out to me
and be like this is freakingawesome.
So I'm super proud of you guys.
You guys have come a long waywith this thing.
So number 50 right here, baby.

Speaker 1 (01:14:40):
Two more.
That's what's so amazing.
Is that, rob, like I said, Ilove you so much because we were
supposed to record this comingSunday but my wife Katie goes.
It's Father's Day.
I'm like okay.
So I told you last night at themeeting.
I'm like, dude, we got torecord tomorrow and he's like,
all right, just tell me whattime.

Speaker 2 (01:15:05):
And it's it's been, and I forgot all about my
commitment.
That's all right, I'll make itup to you.

Speaker 1 (01:15:07):
So and I appreciate you, I appreciate that.
So, anyways, we're coming up onour one year.
This is number 50.

Speaker 2 (01:15:12):
Baby, come back go sit on the toilet and meditate
thank you for joining us today.

Speaker 1 (01:15:23):
We hope you learned something today that will help
you If you did not come backnext week and we'll try again If
you like what we heard, give usa five-star review.

Speaker 2 (01:15:30):
If you don't like what you heard, kiss my ass.
I can't say that, can you?
Anyway, if you don't like whatyou heard, go ahead and tell us
that too.
We'll see what we can improve.
We probably won't changenothing, but do it anyway.
We'll see what we can improve.

Speaker 1 (01:15:38):
We probably won't change nothing, but do it anyway
.
Hey, thanks, rob.
Come back next week andhopefully something will be
different and something willsink in.
Take care, this has beenRecovery, unfiltered you.

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