March 19, 2025 • 30 mins
Recovery isn't meant to be a solo journey—we explore the critical role of sponsorship in AA and why reaching out when you're struggling isn't bothering someone but giving them purpose.
• The official birth of AA wasn't when Bill W got sober, but when he shared his story with Dr Bob across a kitchen table
• Sponsorship isn't explicitly mentioned in the first 164 pages because the book itself was designed to be the sponsor for those who found it
• When you don't call your sponsor during struggles, you're actually being selfish by denying them the opportunity to be of service
• After completing the 12 steps, the relationship evolves from sponsorship to brotherhood—we don't stay sober alone, we stay sober in a committee
• If you don't like your current sponsor, it's okay to find someone new, but make sure it's not just because they're holding you accountable
• How free do you want to be? Don't stew in your own thoughts—reach out and talk to someone before problems compound
If you're needing help or know somebody who needs help, reach out to us at recoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com.
Thank You for Joining Us.. Please share with friends. If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcoholism please reach out to us. We can get you help. recoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
not my wife, not your wife, nor anybody listening to
this podcast is welcome to cover.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm filled.
Fuck, I ran late on that one.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
I'm also an alcohol.
We are not professional.
There are no letters I'mhorrible we know very little.
However, you will hear the wordgod and a four-letter word in
the Fucker.
I'm horrible.
Motherfucker got to be toys.
(00:39):
That's my favorite.
Ready, let's go.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
That's my favorite one, Hi Rob.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
How you doing, brother.
Oh, I'm going to say one morething my sister said to tell you
what.
Yes, motherfucker, she's got astep stool and it's tall enough
to reach your head.
Look out, look out.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I love How's she doing.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Doing all that.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
The only reason why I said that is because I know
Bonnie's listening.
I want her to be mad at me.
No shit, I don't want her to bemad at you anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
She's not usually mad at me.
I can't remember the last timeshe was mad at me.
She probably wouldn't have saidit anyway.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Oh, single, a single man for the next six weeks.
That's funny.
That scared all of us, though,when you said that.
Yeah, so welcome back.
Thank you, we got brandon withus.
Brandon, I'm back.
Hold on, hold, on wait there,thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Thank you, I'll stand up and bow I got my toy working
again, katie hates when I usethat thing.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
So Larry had a topic where, brandon, you had said
something.
When Gabe spoke at the meeting,I said who's your sponsor, who
you're working with?
You said what he shared.
You realized he needed you andthat gave you purpose.
It did Another purpose, a senseof feeling of purpose.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Yeah, he needed somebody.
What did he share?
He had a rough couple days.
He needed somebody.
What did he share?
He had a rough couple days.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
He was struggling.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yeah, he was struggling, he was mad.
He spent an hour and a halfbefore the meeting looking for
his wallet.
Couldn't find it and hisgirlfriend told him you don't
need your wallet, you're justgoing to an AA meeting.
And he's like, yeah, you'reright.
And then he got in the car andthere was his wallet.
I can totally relate with thatI thought, dude, you should have
called me, we could have helpedeach other, because I've been
(02:31):
dealing with that too.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
You know what?
That's what sponsorship is.
Right there, I want to readsomething because we are going
to talk about sponsorship.
So, and yes, larry's readingagain.
An AA sponsor is a member ofAlcoholics Anonymous who helps
newer members stay sober.
Sponsors are a key part of AArecovery program.
What does an AA sponsor do?
Provide support Sponsorsencourage and support to
(02:55):
newcomers or sponsees in workingthe 12-step program.
Sponsors share their experienceof AA to help the sponsee
Sponsors.
Answers their experience of AAto help the sponsee Sponsors.
Answers questions about AASponsors.
Provide a sympathetic friendwho cares and can be confided in
it.
So I mean, it's so very crucial.
(03:16):
On what you know, when I firstgot sober and I walked in to
primary purpose, I felt home.
Right, I felt home in a crowdof people.
I've never felt comfortable,ever walking into a room and
I've never felt.
You know, I've alwaysuncomfortable when I had to
speak in front of a large groupof people, but I was, but I was.
(03:38):
I was uncomfortable that I hadto speak, but I was.
I was wasn't uncomfortable thatI had to speak, I was
uncomfortable being around abunch of people.
I was the first time I'd walkedin a group of people where I
thought I just fit in Right,because in my mind as I walked
in, we're all just a bunch ofdrunks.
I knew that, right, we were allalike.
And then I met my sponsor.
And when I met him verygracious, loving human being as
(04:03):
I started walking through thesteps with him, he, right away I
felt that there wasn't theconnection that I thought I was
going to have, that I'd heardabout as that sponsor-sponsee
relationship.
I just didn't feel it.
There may have been the big agegap, I don't know what it was.
It just wasn't comfortable.
And then and I've said thisbefore and I then Rob, I don't
(04:26):
know a few weeks into it comeswalking into the room.
I didn't even know who this manwas, but whatever he had, I
fucking wanted it.
And then he sat behind me and Iheard him speak and I'm like
this motherfucker is he ain'tleaving here without me grabbing
ahold of him, right.
And I knew that, right, that,that.
And when I grabbed him and hetold me yeah, I'll sponsor you,
(04:48):
and these are the four things,right, and he gave me his rules,
I'm like I have no fuckingproblem, can we start right now?
You know, I was wanting it,that bad.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
And that's usually the men God brings to me are
ready for that Cause I do.
The old timers do this brand.
I know you both know let's go,because we need relief, we need
that.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
But I had to have that and and, but I can't give
that.
You know what I mean.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, I mean I think somepeople are led, are made, are,
are going to be great sponsors.
Yeah, you know, rob is atextbook sponsor no, I'm not
textbook According to today's AA.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I'm anything from fucking textbook according to
today's AA.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Sorry, why don't you shut your phone off?
You motherfucker, god damn it.
Please silence your phones.
Please silence your phones.
But you are to me because you doit the way that book says,
that's what I mean by you do itby that text and the ones that
don't do it by the text are notdoing justice to, to the, to the
men in AA or the women of AA,right that that book is
(05:52):
successful for a reason thatbook is successful because Dr
Bob and Bill W wrote that book.
They wrote that book in the wayit works, Right.
And you know what's funny is Igot something else that I wrote
down and so I read this morning,did some reading because I was
going to do some research andhere's another thing I came up
(06:13):
with.
I love this part right here.
Sponsorship and meetings arenot specifically outlined as a
must in the book.
However, the date used toestablish the founding of AA is
not when Bill W had his lastdrink.
It is the day Bill W sat acrossfrom Dr Bob at an Akron kitchen
(06:33):
table.
Bill was there on a businesstrip.
He had attended at Oxford Groupmeeting and told his story and
said he was worried that hemight drink.
They told him about a member,the town doctor, who was also
the town drunk.
Despite wanting desperately tostop drinking, nothing seemed to
help.
They asked Bill to go visitbecause one of the tenants of
(06:55):
the Oxford group was givingtestimony, basically sharing
your story of what it was like,what happened and what it was
like now.
The basis of sharing is still avital part of AA.
So Bill, at the kitchen tableacross from Dr Bob, who had a
glass of whiskey and wasdrinking, Bill started to talk
(07:15):
and talk, telling his story.
Sometime during the marathon,Dr Bob stopped drinking.
He believed that Bill wastelling the truth and that maybe
he could also get sober.
That was when a was founded.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
That it is also the first sponsorship so june, june,
10th, june 10th, 1935, is thebirth of a.
That's dr bob's first day ofpermanent sobriety.
So, yeah, because let's,because this is so important, so
we're going to do this on page,because the word sponsor is not
in the first 164.
You're absolutely right.
You know why that is.
(07:49):
Does anybody know why?
I'm going to tell you why.
Well, I'm just going to go onpage 163.
It says though you be but oneman with this book in your hand,
we believe it contains all youwill need for sobriety, you know
.
So that's how, when bill wrotethis because there was one
fellowship in akron, that'swhere I got started then there
was new york, but when theywrote this and this published in
(08:10):
1939, which was four yearsafter bill and bob got sober,
bill got sober in december 34.
Bob june 10th, 1935.
Uh, then there was four yearsof cowboys and indians as a
right.
Then this book went out and sayBrandon's wife got it to him or
we wouldn't found on a bookshelfout here in California.
That's the way it was intended,just like our brother John did
it.
Right, you grab this book, youdo the best of your ability and
(08:32):
then, and then again, the formof the first edition says.
We shall be interested to hearfrom those who are getting
results from this book,particularly from those who have
commenced work with otheralcoholics.
So that's his intention of thisright.
That's why sponsorship's not inthere.
There's what you go, you workthe book, then you go become a,
what they call go spread itright, yeah so that's why the
(08:53):
board sponsor is not in the bigbook, because in the first 164,
because they weren't there.
That's not the intention tobuild.
That's why the language youhear and, as you know, and when
you read it like that, when youread, uh, how it works, chapter
five, you see his language nextlaunched out vigorous action.
You know the next day, you knowhe doesn't give you time, go,
go, go.
That's the purpose.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
You know, and I think the reason why this, this topic
, came up to me yesterday isbecause when I was sitting there
looking at Gabe and watchinghim in his pain and he was in
pain, right, I mean, I saw it,anybody in that room saw his
pain, right and then he satthere and said I wanted to call
my sponsor, but I didn't want tobother him.
I wanted to reach up and punchhim right square in the fucking
(09:34):
mouth.
I'm like why, why would you dothat?
A two reasons why it upset me,right.
One why would you sit there andsuffer?
It's something we just talkedabout last week, right.
Why do you sit there and sufferin your own wall?
Or why do that?
Don't do that.
That is the worst thing analcoholic can do it's dangerous
(09:55):
Is sit there and just stew inyour own shit.
Don't do that.
The other thing was why wouldyou be so fucking selfish as to
take away from your sponsor,giving him the opportunity to
work with another human being,to be of service to a brother?
To be of service Because youneeded it.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Oh yeah, it definitely would have helped
both of us.
Yeah, because we were goingthrough the same thing.
Somebody asked me the other dayat primary Dawson.
Asked me hey, I hear you'responsoring somebody.
I said yeah, he goes.
How's he doing?
I go, probably better than me.
And then the next day thathappened and I was like, oh,
we're doing the same.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
That's so funny, though.
That's one man helping anotherman.
That's what this fucking bookis about.
That's what this is about.
It doesn't matter, and somebodysaid yesterday that one guy had
10 days and the other guy had19 days.
Doesn't mean that that you guys, you know, tell him how you got
to 19 days, right, tell him howyou got there.
That's one man helping anotherhuman being.
It's that simple.
(10:53):
It's that simple.
I am fucking horrible atone-on-one.
I can't do it.
I've tried to do it.
I've tried it two or threedifferent times.
Now I and because I demand somuch from other people.
Now, if I had somebody thatcame in and was ready to go hard
at it, I probably would do itRight, but I haven't had that.
God has not put that in me.
(11:14):
God has not put that in frontof me.
Now he's put me other hardcases that I've worked with,
chris being one.
I worked with that guy formonths trying to help him.
Who knows where he's at now.
He may be dead, I have no idea.
I guarantee you he ain't sober.
It's in God's hands.
At this point it all is.
I did exactly how God walked methrough that and I did it.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
But here's the thing If another Larry walked into
your door, you'd have no problemsponsoring another Larryry, but
you wouldn't grow through that.
No, god ain't gonna bring thatto you.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
No, I agree with that .
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I agree with that.
I've had a larry walk in, I'vehad a brandon walk in, I've had
you know, and as you navigate Idon't think there's another
larry out there praise, god damnit.
But the one thing you two had incommon, you were ready.
Oh, because the one thing Icouldn't give, the one thing we
can't give to anybody, which isdesire, that can say willingness
, which is also I like the worddesire better whatever, but you
(12:08):
guys had that in spades, right,and that's all I need, beyond
everything, in that, if you gotthat we can go.
If you don't have that, I don'twaste my time.
That's again.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
That's you know, because I think the hard thing
for me as a sponsor when I waslike I said a couple times I did
it is that they just and itgoes back to me, right, it's,
it's me, because why are you notgetting this?
You know, if I, is it somethingI'm doing wrong that you're not
getting this, cause the, the,the couple that I've tried to
sponsor, they just weren'tgetting it.
(12:36):
The way I got it Right, the wayI picked up on it, the way I
grabbed a hold of it, the way Iwanted more and more and more
out of your house, was he didn'twant it.
No, not at all, and it pissedme off, right, I don't want, I
don't, I don't want to waste mytime, right.
But it also goes back to thatgod hasn't brought you.
Know, if god brought me one andsaid you're going to work with
(12:57):
this guy, I would work with him.
I have never denied that.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yeah brandon, where is gabe at in his as far as his
step work?
Is he in the men's portion?
Speaker 3 (13:06):
We talked about it after the meeting and he said he
is through his amends.
And I told him well then, youjust need to work the last three
steps in your daily affairs now10, 11, and 12.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
But he's the hard part's done with him.
He's doing good.
He's doing good.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
And by the time, the meeting was over.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
He was a different person, was he?
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
he had to talk.
Oh yeah, and then we talked fora few minutes afterwards, me,
him and doug, and all three ofwell, doug was fine already, but
me and gabe felt better.
I felt better that I could helphim and I talked to him and I
told him don't ever hesitate tocall me.
I said I might have to tell you, I'll call you right back.
You know, give me five minutes,but I'll never knock.
(13:48):
You know, I have to take yourcall and if you're upset or
whatever, call me, because I'mprobably upset too and we can
get through this together that'sthat one man working with
another man together just yeah,and it for me, like I said, i't
I've never sponsored.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Well, I can't say that I have, but it just been
they've, they've failed, butI've never had another.
I'm not going to go up tosomebody say, do you need a
sponsor?
I'm going to sponsor you.
I just can't do that.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
I don't believe that's the right way to do it
anyway.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
That's the way I.
I was approached with asituation I don't know.
A few days ago.
I was at primary and these twoguys came in late and one guy
had been there before, needed asponsor, and he brought his
buddy that had never been to ameeting.
And I talked to both of themafterwards and I was telling
them I said, look, if you reallywant this, you need to get a
sponsor and work the steps.
I'm telling you, it'll make ahuge difference in your life.
(14:50):
And they, well, I think thisguy's my sponsor, I what you
think, or he is.
And he says well, I think weare.
I said, well, no one that I knowof is going to ask you to be
their sponsor.
You have to go ask them.
And I just kind of left.
I looked, looked at them bothin the eyes like this is how it
works you have to ask us andthen we'll be more than happy to
help you.
But we're not going to come outthere and ask you.
And I told the guy that hadnever been to a meeting before.
I said, look, I'm willing to bea sponsor.
(15:11):
I said, but you have to takethe step and be willing to do
that.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Well, that's admitting you've got a problem.
And then they were going todinner after and I wasn't going.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
And then I don't know , I felt bad because I didn't go
to dinner.
I thought maybe I should havewent, but I thought I didn't
want to eat there.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Then don't eat.
God, you planted a seed Perfectyeah.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Perfect, that guy that was speaking yesterday who
was awesome, that Pat brought aguy in by the name of Travis.
Yeah, he was good and I likedwhat he said.
He goes.
I talked to my sponsor and heknows he's my sponsor because I
tell him he's my sponsor.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yeah, that was a good way to start that.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
That was funny.
You know what did I hear awhile back that my home group
knows I'm their home groupbecause I go to my home group.
I mean, you know, and it's thatway.
I mean I don't, for me, I nolonger have a sponsor.
Right, these guys that havebeen in the, you know, you talk
to some of these guys 20, 30years in AA and they say, well,
(16:12):
I talked to my sponsor the otherday, I talked to my sponsor.
I don't ever say I talk to mysponsor, I say I talk to my
group of guys, right, we'rebrothers now Brothers to my
group of guys right, we'rebrothers.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Now Brothers, and the reason they do that?
Because there's I like it,women are different and I
disagree with the way.
A lot of that, again, we won'tget into it.
We can, but when, like Bill orBob or Pat, that's just a man
that they are accountable to,they're not only accountable to
God first and foremost but thereis a man that helps keep them
(16:42):
sharp, that they you know, thatthey knows all their bullshit
Right and they can.
ownership Sponsorship ends, likeBrandon just said, after you've
worked your night as you work,as I get you know.
Hey, have you made yourmarriage to your mother yet?
No, I got to what those looklike sponsorship over now.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
we are brothers, yeah , who are supposed to sharpen
one another, and I needsharpening as much as the next
piece of iron does and it alsogoes back to this is there's
shit that brad and I go throughthat, because brad and I are so
close in the same age that we'rewe can.
We can work together, you know,and and I'd rather call brad on
some stuff than call rob onsome stuff, and there's stuff
that doug and I relate to betterthan what what you know.
And and I'd rather call Brad onsome stuff than call Rob on
some stuff.
And there's stuff that Doug andI relate to better than what
(17:26):
what you know, Rob and I wouldrelate to.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
That's what I need to reach out more for that 1000%.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Well, I don't know if it's specialized or somebody
you feel comfortable, exactly.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
But we're comfortable .
What is Rob Brandon right?
Either one of you can answerthis On the bottom of the step
work that we do.
What does Rob write?
What do I write?
I'm using Rob in third person.
What does Rob write on thebottom of each of those papers?
What?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
does he say I don't fucking know, how free do you
want to be?
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Thank you.
You know, good motherfucker, hedoes all that I don't remember
that shit.
How free do you want to be?
And fact that doesn't end atstep right, that ends in life.
Brandon, how do you want to becalled daryl up?
If right, it gives you guysthat you have, whatever you have
that something in common orso-and-so's already been through
this.
If I lose a child, me and mattare going to be me and matt are
(18:12):
close anyway.
You know that kind of becausethey've me and jason.
Right, get that.
How free do you want to be?
I don't want to stew in my ownshit and that's that's the
reason why I say that.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Opening up, talking to katie talking hell.
I'll talk to my daughters if Ineed to.
You know, there's somethingthat one of my daughters can
help me with or talk about, I'lltalk to one of my daughters
about it.
I don't really give a shit.
I my son-in-laws.
I talk to them about a lot ofshit, right I?
I can't keep that shit in myhead.
I need a person to speak to andusually for me, 99.8.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
It's going to be a man, because I are one and you
guys can relate better.
That's why I prefer men'smeetings.
That's why I are one.
I are one, I are a man, justnot a tall one, but I'm badass
anyway, you know, I I think Iwanted to hit on this
sponsorship.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Like I said, it's only because we could do a deep
dive into that we could but what?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
you said was a key point and I've told Matt this
and I've told Brandon this,because Brandon was last time I
called you guys three times.
It was either.
It was like four in the morning.
I didn't have to be at worktill six for one.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
And I woke him up and then I felt bad but don't.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yeah, but you can't feel that way there.
He took that job on when we youwhen yeah but, like you said,
sponsorship's over up throughthe stairs no, no, no, no.
My sponsor, no, no, no, no.
His sponsorship will never endwith me.
He'll always be that personthat is my sponsor, right when
shit gets real sideways hey wecame you, brandon answered this.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Let's see if you can get this motherfucker right.
Since he's on top of it.
What else do I tell you aboutthis phone?
Call me.
What is my timeline as far ascalling me?
If the shit's in the fan, whencan you call me?
When can you not?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I don't think you've ever told me not to call you at
a certain time In the middle ofthe night.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I don't give a shit, I don't.
That's why it's on.
Said about gabe.
Matt has done this quite a bitand, matt, if you're listening
this, we've talked about it.
He'll call me in the morningwhen he was going to work.
He probably will talk about,well, maybe a 15 minute
conversation, what he wentthrough that night, right, and I
said you motherfucker.
And I told him you're amotherfucker, right, pause, I go
(20:15):
.
You could have called me atmidnight when this was going on.
We could have had this 15minute call.
Now you feel, rob, thanks, Ifeel so much better.
We could have went back tosleep and not ruined.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Brad had ruined a whole weekend.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Yes, that time is precious man.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
And that's what I go back and I say I can't sit there
and stew over something.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I got to talk selfish .
Speaker 2 (20:35):
You know if I'm in cause.
I travel all the time.
If I'm sitting at a dinnerplace and I really feel an urge
to drink, rob would be thatfirst person I called.
Right, that's where my sponsorwould come in.
Right, that would be it If Ididn't call Katie first.
But you said it when you don'tBrandon, when you don't Matt,
when you don't Rob, call yourbrothers, you're being selfish
(20:56):
and taking away an opportunityfor us to be of service to a
brother we love and care aboutYou're taking that away from us,
because how free did you feelwhen Gabe started talking to you
yesterday?
What instantly happened to you?
Instantly happened.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
Oh, I felt it.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You didn't think about yourself.
No, you're right, you did notthink about yourself one bit.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
No, how can I get him through this?
Speaker 2 (21:19):
The minute I turned around and I saw his, saw that
pain cause I heard it.
He's sitting right behind me,right, and I heard it in his
voice.
And as soon as I heard it I hadto turn around and look at him.
And then I saw the pain and I'mlike I just wanted to grab him
and take all that pain away fromhim.
Yeah, but I mean I'm justletting him get it out because I
(21:41):
knew if I interrupted, right,it was going to take away what
he needed and I just let himvent.
And he literally was not ontopic.
He wasn't, and not a man inthat room gave a shit, right,
every man in that room was justletting him have it all out.
Because that's the topic, oh yes, at that point it was the topic
right, and every man in thatroom has been there.
(22:03):
We've all felt it or is there,or is there, are working through
it, or headed there.
That's where I say we don'thave one sponsor.
We have that man that got usthrough the steps, because we
don't do that in a committee,right, we don't do our steps in
a committee.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
My chicken died, and not everybody needs to fucking
know that, but we stay sober ina committee.
You know what I mean.
And again, I didn't have this.
No, were you guys right?
I had an 80-year-old man when Iactually was 70.
And I didn't have that and Iwasn't calling him.
We all know who it is and Ilove him with all my heart,
however.
So I suffered in silence a lot.
(22:38):
I was grinding.
By God's grace and his graceonly did I make it.
But we got a gift.
You guys have a gift.
Use that, motherfucker.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
We got a body of and this is what I say all the time.
I preached this when I was justat Maynard yesterday.
I preached it and I preached itand I preached it.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
And when he says preach, Brandon, he fucking
preaches.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
I do because I sat right there and I told him I
said I'll be there for the nextsermon.
I said you guys, I go, I'd madethem all stand up.
I go, I made, I told everybodyto stand up.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
So everybody stood up .
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Yeah.
And when they stood up, I saidnow, everybody but one sit down.
Because there was exactly 11people in that room.
I said everybody but one of yousit down.
I said that's the only.
That's how many people aregoing to stay sober out of this
entire group.
Is that one person, unless youguys stick together?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
that the mathematics are sound.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
That's exactly right and I said you guys, unless you
get yourself involved in a groupsponsorship, you have a plan.
And I I went back on somethingyou told me, rod, last time you
spoke up there I said and a planis not getting your job back, a
plan is not getting your wifeback.
A plan is not figuring out howto get out of jail or stay out
of jail.
That's not a fucking plan.
You leave here.
(23:44):
You better have a plan on howto stay sober.
Right, that's the plan.
You better have the rest ofthat shit.
It's going to come in.
It's contingent on that firstplan.
Correct, because if you go backout and start drinking again,
all that shit's going to happenanyways.
It's going to go away.
It's going to be gone Unless youhave a plan to stay sober.
You ain't got a plan, becauseall you're going to do is go out
(24:07):
and come right back in.
We should get Brandon up thereto speak.
There was so many people inthere that it was their second
or third or fourth time, andthat just breaks me, because
every time you ask them what didyou not do?
I didn't stay involved.
I mean it just that, and Idon't even need to hear the
answer.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
We know it.
I don't even need to hear thefucking answer, basically, but
the answer is basically I try todo it my own way the one guy
said.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
The one guy said I did it for my kids the first
time, this.
Then I did it for my wife thesecond time.
This time I'm doing it for meand I go does that mean you're
going to stay sober this time?
Yep, what are what?
Speaker 1 (24:41):
are you going to do?
What's your plan?
What's your plan?
I'm going to go back to workand get my job.
You hear that shit.
You don't hear.
I'm going to get a sponsor.
I'm going to work these fuckingsteps to the best of my ability
.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
There was one guy that was his third time and he
said he was.
When I walked in he wasliterally sitting at the table
there, ended up talking with himfor a little bit and he said it
was his third time and I go.
I asked him the same question,you know, and he goes and I go.
What's different this time?
He goes.
Well, this time I'm, this timeI'm working the steps.
I'm like good for you andbrandon did that.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
He talks about his going in and out and then doing
it on his own right, I went torehab twice, but there were 30
years in between.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Yeah, really oh, yeah , yeah we did talk about that.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Yeah, we did when I was 17.
Then 47.
Right, right, then got sober at49.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Anyways, I wanted to step on that a little bit.
We talk, we say sponsor on theshow a lot.
You know we say it, but I don'tthink we've actually really dug
into it a lot.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Well, we need to dig into it.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I think we need to get into it a little bit further
.
I am going to ask and I didn'tlast time if you're needing some
help or know somebody thatneeds help, reach out to us.
It's atrecoveryunfilteredpodcast at
gmailcom.
Reach out to us, we do.
We have had a few people, butyou know what I love the
comments that come back into us.
(26:01):
Great, but you know what I lovethe comments that come back
into us.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Great job this, but I know there's people listening
that need help, but I disagreewith us.
I want to argue.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I'll give you Rob's cell phone.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I don't like to argue not argue, but, but you know,
disagree.
I mean I want to hear thatbecause you could debate.
I mean not debate, but ironsharpens iron and I'm a dull
motherfucker, so sharpen me up.
I mean I may or may not listento those comments, but if you
disagree, let's have them.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Brandon, how are you feeling I?
Speaker 3 (26:27):
feel pretty good.
Yeah, yeah, it's been a goodday.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
That's going to keep this good thing rolling, but you
know that's contingent on you,right?
Yeah, a lot of it is.
Life's going to happen, see,and I'll disagree with you on
that a thousand percent.
We are.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
We are as happy as we choose to be right, right
choice, yeah it's it's.
I can control my attitude andmy effort.
Other than that, it's a crapand your actions and your
actions, attitude and effort.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Okay, I still say actions because your actions
could do a lot, your actions aresitting there.
Effort is actually okay, but ifyou're sitting there with your
hat down over your eyes and yourarms crossed, you are being a
negative Nancy, and that isfucking, and you might as well
be drunk, right yeah you mightas well and reach out to
(27:12):
somebody.
Reach out to a sponsor.
Reach out to somebody when youget like that.
Do not let stuff dwell on you.
That's what sponsorship is for,that's what brotherhood is for.
Thank you, rob.
What sponsorship is for,brotherhood is for and I thank
you, rob.
I was just getting ready toback to say that because our, if
you don't have a group, find agroup, get somebody, get a
couple people out of your aameeting, start your own group.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Start a group, be, get outside of aa and if the
sponsor you have isn't workingfor you, get another one.
Fire that motherfucker.
If he's got a problem with it,he'll pray for you experience
fire that prick.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Yeah, you know, and I said that the other night up
there, maynards too.
I'm like if you don't like thesponsor you have, fire that
prick and get another one, getanother one right, don't you're
not married, yeah, but I mean,you know, just get your sobriety
man, because there's justnothing.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Well, it's your life, yep, it's your sobriety, it's
your recovery.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
It's your way of, it's your happiness and your
peace and your serenity.
Find it, grab a hold of it,don't let go of it.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Can we have a fight for it?
I do.
Can we have one more?
There's a caveat to that.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
If your sponsor it's a big word.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
It's only like seven letters.
Anyway, if you want to fireyour sponsor if he's not working
for you which means if he'sholding you accountable, if he's
trying to make you do the work,that's not a reason to fire him
.
No, if you can't get.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
No, you're a thousand percent correct.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
But if you've met, with your sponsor three times.
And you haven't talked aboutstep work yet that's not the
right guy, right.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
But that same person that you just talked about.
Rob is going to go get drunkanyways.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
You're right.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah, I mean they're, they're, they're going to go
get fucking drunk.
If you're at your sponsor andhe's pissed off at you because
he's making you do the four step, you got a fucking problem.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
And if your sponsor doesn't piss you off, you
probably got a piss.
Poor sponsor, you never pissedme off.
Even afterwards, you never saidnothing to piss you off.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
No, I think I know why you never pissed me off.
It's because everything youwould tell me I knew in my mind,
I knew that I was fucked up andI knew I had to fix.
By the time I had gotten to Rob, I was just fucking depleted.
You know, I was literallydepleted and knew nothing about
me was right.
I mean, I was broken, brokenand I wanted to be a better man.
(29:39):
I didn't like that way I wasliving.
You are a good man, I try.
I wanted to be a better man.
I didn't like that way I wasliving.
You are a good man, I try.
Once I saw the light of livingwith peace and serenity, I
didn't want to go backwards.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
And there's a great example.
You can be everybody, listen,you can be a fucking asshole and
still be a good man.
Thank you, there he is.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
He's accomplished it.
Because I am an asshole, justask me Thanks Rob, thanks
Brandon.
Why do I keep saying fuckingBrad?
I got Brad on the brain today,your love.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Thank you, Brandon.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Thank you for joining us today.
We hope you learned somethingtoday that will help you If you
did not come back next week, andwe'll try again.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
If you like what we heard, give us a five-star
review.
If you don't like what youheard, kiss my ass.
I can't say that, can you?
Anyway, if you don't like whatyou heard, go ahead and tell us
that too.
We'll see what we can improve.
We probably won't changenothing, but do it anyway.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Hey, thanks, Rob.
Go back next week and hopefullysomething will be different and
something will sink you.
not my wife, not your wife, nor anybody listening to
this podcast is welcome to cover.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm filled.
Fuck, I ran late on that one.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
I'm also an alcohol.
We are not professional.
There are no letters I'mhorrible we know very little.
However, you will hear the wordgod and a four-letter word in
the Fucker.
I'm horrible.
Motherfucker got to be toys.
(00:39):
That's my favorite.
Ready, let's go.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
That's my favorite one, Hi Rob.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
How you doing, brother.
Oh, I'm going to say one morething my sister said to tell you
what.
Yes, motherfucker, she's got astep stool and it's tall enough
to reach your head.
Look out, look out.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I love How's she doing.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Doing all that.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
The only reason why I said that is because I know
Bonnie's listening.
I want her to be mad at me.
No shit, I don't want her to bemad at you anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
She's not usually mad at me.
I can't remember the last timeshe was mad at me.
She probably wouldn't have saidit anyway.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Oh, single, a single man for the next six weeks.
That's funny.
That scared all of us, though,when you said that.
Yeah, so welcome back.
Thank you, we got brandon withus.
Brandon, I'm back.
Hold on, hold, on wait there,thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Thank you, I'll stand up and bow I got my toy working
again, katie hates when I usethat thing.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
So Larry had a topic where, brandon, you had said
something.
When Gabe spoke at the meeting,I said who's your sponsor, who
you're working with?
You said what he shared.
You realized he needed you andthat gave you purpose.
It did Another purpose, a senseof feeling of purpose.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Yeah, he needed somebody.
What did he share?
He had a rough couple days.
He needed somebody.
What did he share?
He had a rough couple days.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
He was struggling.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yeah, he was struggling, he was mad.
He spent an hour and a halfbefore the meeting looking for
his wallet.
Couldn't find it and hisgirlfriend told him you don't
need your wallet, you're justgoing to an AA meeting.
And he's like, yeah, you'reright.
And then he got in the car andthere was his wallet.
I can totally relate with thatI thought, dude, you should have
called me, we could have helpedeach other, because I've been
(02:31):
dealing with that too.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
You know what?
That's what sponsorship is.
Right there, I want to readsomething because we are going
to talk about sponsorship.
So, and yes, larry's readingagain.
An AA sponsor is a member ofAlcoholics Anonymous who helps
newer members stay sober.
Sponsors are a key part of AArecovery program.
What does an AA sponsor do?
Provide support Sponsorsencourage and support to
(02:55):
newcomers or sponsees in workingthe 12-step program.
Sponsors share their experienceof AA to help the sponsee
Sponsors.
Answers their experience of AAto help the sponsee Sponsors.
Answers questions about AASponsors.
Provide a sympathetic friendwho cares and can be confided in
it.
So I mean, it's so very crucial.
(03:16):
On what you know, when I firstgot sober and I walked in to
primary purpose, I felt home.
Right, I felt home in a crowdof people.
I've never felt comfortable,ever walking into a room and
I've never felt.
You know, I've alwaysuncomfortable when I had to
speak in front of a large groupof people, but I was, but I was.
(03:38):
I was uncomfortable that I hadto speak, but I was.
I was wasn't uncomfortable thatI had to speak, I was
uncomfortable being around abunch of people.
I was the first time I'd walkedin a group of people where I
thought I just fit in Right,because in my mind as I walked
in, we're all just a bunch ofdrunks.
I knew that, right, we were allalike.
And then I met my sponsor.
And when I met him verygracious, loving human being as
(04:03):
I started walking through thesteps with him, he, right away I
felt that there wasn't theconnection that I thought I was
going to have, that I'd heardabout as that sponsor-sponsee
relationship.
I just didn't feel it.
There may have been the big agegap, I don't know what it was.
It just wasn't comfortable.
And then and I've said thisbefore and I then Rob, I don't
(04:26):
know a few weeks into it comeswalking into the room.
I didn't even know who this manwas, but whatever he had, I
fucking wanted it.
And then he sat behind me and Iheard him speak and I'm like
this motherfucker is he ain'tleaving here without me grabbing
ahold of him, right.
And I knew that, right, that,that.
And when I grabbed him and hetold me yeah, I'll sponsor you,
(04:48):
and these are the four things,right, and he gave me his rules,
I'm like I have no fuckingproblem, can we start right now?
You know, I was wanting it,that bad.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
And that's usually the men God brings to me are
ready for that Cause I do.
The old timers do this brand.
I know you both know let's go,because we need relief, we need
that.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
But I had to have that and and, but I can't give
that.
You know what I mean.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, I mean I think somepeople are led, are made, are,
are going to be great sponsors.
Yeah, you know, rob is atextbook sponsor no, I'm not
textbook According to today's AA.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I'm anything from fucking textbook according to
today's AA.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Sorry, why don't you shut your phone off?
You motherfucker, god damn it.
Please silence your phones.
Please silence your phones.
But you are to me because you doit the way that book says,
that's what I mean by you do itby that text and the ones that
don't do it by the text are notdoing justice to, to the, to the
men in AA or the women of AA,right that that book is
(05:52):
successful for a reason thatbook is successful because Dr
Bob and Bill W wrote that book.
They wrote that book in the wayit works, Right.
And you know what's funny is Igot something else that I wrote
down and so I read this morning,did some reading because I was
going to do some research andhere's another thing I came up
(06:13):
with.
I love this part right here.
Sponsorship and meetings arenot specifically outlined as a
must in the book.
However, the date used toestablish the founding of AA is
not when Bill W had his lastdrink.
It is the day Bill W sat acrossfrom Dr Bob at an Akron kitchen
(06:33):
table.
Bill was there on a businesstrip.
He had attended at Oxford Groupmeeting and told his story and
said he was worried that hemight drink.
They told him about a member,the town doctor, who was also
the town drunk.
Despite wanting desperately tostop drinking, nothing seemed to
help.
They asked Bill to go visitbecause one of the tenants of
(06:55):
the Oxford group was givingtestimony, basically sharing
your story of what it was like,what happened and what it was
like now.
The basis of sharing is still avital part of AA.
So Bill, at the kitchen tableacross from Dr Bob, who had a
glass of whiskey and wasdrinking, Bill started to talk
(07:15):
and talk, telling his story.
Sometime during the marathon,Dr Bob stopped drinking.
He believed that Bill wastelling the truth and that maybe
he could also get sober.
That was when a was founded.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
That it is also the first sponsorship so june, june,
10th, june 10th, 1935, is thebirth of a.
That's dr bob's first day ofpermanent sobriety.
So, yeah, because let's,because this is so important, so
we're going to do this on page,because the word sponsor is not
in the first 164.
You're absolutely right.
You know why that is.
(07:49):
Does anybody know why?
I'm going to tell you why.
Well, I'm just going to go onpage 163.
It says though you be but oneman with this book in your hand,
we believe it contains all youwill need for sobriety, you know
.
So that's how, when bill wrotethis because there was one
fellowship in akron, that'swhere I got started then there
was new york, but when theywrote this and this published in
(08:10):
1939, which was four yearsafter bill and bob got sober,
bill got sober in december 34.
Bob june 10th, 1935.
Uh, then there was four yearsof cowboys and indians as a
right.
Then this book went out and sayBrandon's wife got it to him or
we wouldn't found on a bookshelfout here in California.
That's the way it was intended,just like our brother John did
it.
Right, you grab this book, youdo the best of your ability and
(08:32):
then, and then again, the formof the first edition says.
We shall be interested to hearfrom those who are getting
results from this book,particularly from those who have
commenced work with otheralcoholics.
So that's his intention of thisright.
That's why sponsorship's not inthere.
There's what you go, you workthe book, then you go become a,
what they call go spread itright, yeah so that's why the
(08:53):
board sponsor is not in the bigbook, because in the first 164,
because they weren't there.
That's not the intention tobuild.
That's why the language youhear and, as you know, and when
you read it like that, when youread, uh, how it works, chapter
five, you see his language nextlaunched out vigorous action.
You know the next day, you knowhe doesn't give you time, go,
go, go.
That's the purpose.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
You know, and I think the reason why this, this topic
, came up to me yesterday isbecause when I was sitting there
looking at Gabe and watchinghim in his pain and he was in
pain, right, I mean, I saw it,anybody in that room saw his
pain, right and then he satthere and said I wanted to call
my sponsor, but I didn't want tobother him.
I wanted to reach up and punchhim right square in the fucking
(09:34):
mouth.
I'm like why, why would you dothat?
A two reasons why it upset me,right.
One why would you sit there andsuffer?
It's something we just talkedabout last week, right.
Why do you sit there and sufferin your own wall?
Or why do that?
Don't do that.
That is the worst thing analcoholic can do it's dangerous
(09:55):
Is sit there and just stew inyour own shit.
Don't do that.
The other thing was why wouldyou be so fucking selfish as to
take away from your sponsor,giving him the opportunity to
work with another human being,to be of service to a brother?
To be of service Because youneeded it.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Oh yeah, it definitely would have helped
both of us.
Yeah, because we were goingthrough the same thing.
Somebody asked me the other dayat primary Dawson.
Asked me hey, I hear you'responsoring somebody.
I said yeah, he goes.
How's he doing?
I go, probably better than me.
And then the next day thathappened and I was like, oh,
we're doing the same.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
That's so funny, though.
That's one man helping anotherman.
That's what this fucking bookis about.
That's what this is about.
It doesn't matter, and somebodysaid yesterday that one guy had
10 days and the other guy had19 days.
Doesn't mean that that you guys, you know, tell him how you got
to 19 days, right, tell him howyou got there.
That's one man helping anotherhuman being.
It's that simple.
(10:53):
It's that simple.
I am fucking horrible atone-on-one.
I can't do it.
I've tried to do it.
I've tried it two or threedifferent times.
Now I and because I demand somuch from other people.
Now, if I had somebody thatcame in and was ready to go hard
at it, I probably would do itRight, but I haven't had that.
God has not put that in me.
(11:14):
God has not put that in frontof me.
Now he's put me other hardcases that I've worked with,
chris being one.
I worked with that guy formonths trying to help him.
Who knows where he's at now.
He may be dead, I have no idea.
I guarantee you he ain't sober.
It's in God's hands.
At this point it all is.
I did exactly how God walked methrough that and I did it.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
But here's the thing If another Larry walked into
your door, you'd have no problemsponsoring another Larryry, but
you wouldn't grow through that.
No, god ain't gonna bring thatto you.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
No, I agree with that .
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I agree with that.
I've had a larry walk in, I'vehad a brandon walk in, I've had
you know, and as you navigate Idon't think there's another
larry out there praise, god damnit.
But the one thing you two had incommon, you were ready.
Oh, because the one thing Icouldn't give, the one thing we
can't give to anybody, which isdesire, that can say willingness
, which is also I like the worddesire better whatever, but you
(12:08):
guys had that in spades, right,and that's all I need, beyond
everything, in that, if you gotthat we can go.
If you don't have that, I don'twaste my time.
That's again.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
That's you know, because I think the hard thing
for me as a sponsor when I waslike I said a couple times I did
it is that they just and itgoes back to me, right, it's,
it's me, because why are you notgetting this?
You know, if I, is it somethingI'm doing wrong that you're not
getting this, cause the, the,the couple that I've tried to
sponsor, they just weren'tgetting it.
(12:36):
The way I got it Right, the wayI picked up on it, the way I
grabbed a hold of it, the way Iwanted more and more and more
out of your house, was he didn'twant it.
No, not at all, and it pissedme off, right, I don't want, I
don't, I don't want to waste mytime, right.
But it also goes back to thatgod hasn't brought you.
Know, if god brought me one andsaid you're going to work with
(12:57):
this guy, I would work with him.
I have never denied that.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yeah brandon, where is gabe at in his as far as his
step work?
Is he in the men's portion?
Speaker 3 (13:06):
We talked about it after the meeting and he said he
is through his amends.
And I told him well then, youjust need to work the last three
steps in your daily affairs now10, 11, and 12.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
But he's the hard part's done with him.
He's doing good.
He's doing good.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
And by the time, the meeting was over.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
He was a different person, was he?
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
he had to talk.
Oh yeah, and then we talked fora few minutes afterwards, me,
him and doug, and all three ofwell, doug was fine already, but
me and gabe felt better.
I felt better that I could helphim and I talked to him and I
told him don't ever hesitate tocall me.
I said I might have to tell you, I'll call you right back.
You know, give me five minutes,but I'll never knock.
(13:48):
You know, I have to take yourcall and if you're upset or
whatever, call me, because I'mprobably upset too and we can
get through this together that'sthat one man working with
another man together just yeah,and it for me, like I said, i't
I've never sponsored.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Well, I can't say that I have, but it just been
they've, they've failed, butI've never had another.
I'm not going to go up tosomebody say, do you need a
sponsor?
I'm going to sponsor you.
I just can't do that.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
I don't believe that's the right way to do it
anyway.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
That's the way I.
I was approached with asituation I don't know.
A few days ago.
I was at primary and these twoguys came in late and one guy
had been there before, needed asponsor, and he brought his
buddy that had never been to ameeting.
And I talked to both of themafterwards and I was telling
them I said, look, if you reallywant this, you need to get a
sponsor and work the steps.
I'm telling you, it'll make ahuge difference in your life.
(14:50):
And they, well, I think thisguy's my sponsor, I what you
think, or he is.
And he says well, I think weare.
I said, well, no one that I knowof is going to ask you to be
their sponsor.
You have to go ask them.
And I just kind of left.
I looked, looked at them bothin the eyes like this is how it
works you have to ask us andthen we'll be more than happy to
help you.
But we're not going to come outthere and ask you.
And I told the guy that hadnever been to a meeting before.
I said, look, I'm willing to bea sponsor.
(15:11):
I said, but you have to takethe step and be willing to do
that.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Well, that's admitting you've got a problem.
And then they were going todinner after and I wasn't going.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
And then I don't know , I felt bad because I didn't go
to dinner.
I thought maybe I should havewent, but I thought I didn't
want to eat there.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Then don't eat.
God, you planted a seed Perfectyeah.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Perfect, that guy that was speaking yesterday who
was awesome, that Pat brought aguy in by the name of Travis.
Yeah, he was good and I likedwhat he said.
He goes.
I talked to my sponsor and heknows he's my sponsor because I
tell him he's my sponsor.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yeah, that was a good way to start that.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
That was funny.
You know what did I hear awhile back that my home group
knows I'm their home groupbecause I go to my home group.
I mean, you know, and it's thatway.
I mean I don't, for me, I nolonger have a sponsor.
Right, these guys that havebeen in the, you know, you talk
to some of these guys 20, 30years in AA and they say, well,
(16:12):
I talked to my sponsor the otherday, I talked to my sponsor.
I don't ever say I talk to mysponsor, I say I talk to my
group of guys, right, we'rebrothers now Brothers to my
group of guys right, we'rebrothers.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Now Brothers, and the reason they do that?
Because there's I like it,women are different and I
disagree with the way.
A lot of that, again, we won'tget into it.
We can, but when, like Bill orBob or Pat, that's just a man
that they are accountable to,they're not only accountable to
God first and foremost but thereis a man that helps keep them
(16:42):
sharp, that they you know, thatthey knows all their bullshit
Right and they can.
ownership Sponsorship ends, likeBrandon just said, after you've
worked your night as you work,as I get you know.
Hey, have you made yourmarriage to your mother yet?
No, I got to what those looklike sponsorship over now.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
we are brothers, yeah , who are supposed to sharpen
one another, and I needsharpening as much as the next
piece of iron does and it alsogoes back to this is there's
shit that brad and I go throughthat, because brad and I are so
close in the same age that we'rewe can.
We can work together, you know,and and I'd rather call brad on
some stuff than call rob onsome stuff, and there's stuff
that doug and I relate to betterthan what what you know.
And and I'd rather call Brad onsome stuff than call Rob on
some stuff.
And there's stuff that Doug andI relate to better than what
(17:26):
what you know, Rob and I wouldrelate to.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
That's what I need to reach out more for that 1000%.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Well, I don't know if it's specialized or somebody
you feel comfortable, exactly.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
But we're comfortable .
What is Rob Brandon right?
Either one of you can answerthis On the bottom of the step
work that we do.
What does Rob write?
What do I write?
I'm using Rob in third person.
What does Rob write on thebottom of each of those papers?
What?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
does he say I don't fucking know, how free do you
want to be?
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Thank you.
You know, good motherfucker, hedoes all that I don't remember
that shit.
How free do you want to be?
And fact that doesn't end atstep right, that ends in life.
Brandon, how do you want to becalled daryl up?
If right, it gives you guysthat you have, whatever you have
that something in common orso-and-so's already been through
this.
If I lose a child, me and mattare going to be me and matt are
(18:12):
close anyway.
You know that kind of becausethey've me and jason.
Right, get that.
How free do you want to be?
I don't want to stew in my ownshit and that's that's the
reason why I say that.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Opening up, talking to katie talking hell.
I'll talk to my daughters if Ineed to.
You know, there's somethingthat one of my daughters can
help me with or talk about, I'lltalk to one of my daughters
about it.
I don't really give a shit.
I my son-in-laws.
I talk to them about a lot ofshit, right I?
I can't keep that shit in myhead.
I need a person to speak to andusually for me, 99.8.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
It's going to be a man, because I are one and you
guys can relate better.
That's why I prefer men'smeetings.
That's why I are one.
I are one, I are a man, justnot a tall one, but I'm badass
anyway, you know, I I think Iwanted to hit on this
sponsorship.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Like I said, it's only because we could do a deep
dive into that we could but what?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
you said was a key point and I've told Matt this
and I've told Brandon this,because Brandon was last time I
called you guys three times.
It was either.
It was like four in the morning.
I didn't have to be at worktill six for one.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
And I woke him up and then I felt bad but don't.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yeah, but you can't feel that way there.
He took that job on when we youwhen yeah but, like you said,
sponsorship's over up throughthe stairs no, no, no, no.
My sponsor, no, no, no, no.
His sponsorship will never endwith me.
He'll always be that personthat is my sponsor, right when
shit gets real sideways hey wecame you, brandon answered this.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Let's see if you can get this motherfucker right.
Since he's on top of it.
What else do I tell you aboutthis phone?
Call me.
What is my timeline as far ascalling me?
If the shit's in the fan, whencan you call me?
When can you not?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I don't think you've ever told me not to call you at
a certain time In the middle ofthe night.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I don't give a shit, I don't.
That's why it's on.
Said about gabe.
Matt has done this quite a bitand, matt, if you're listening
this, we've talked about it.
He'll call me in the morningwhen he was going to work.
He probably will talk about,well, maybe a 15 minute
conversation, what he wentthrough that night, right, and I
said you motherfucker.
And I told him you're amotherfucker, right, pause, I go
(20:15):
.
You could have called me atmidnight when this was going on.
We could have had this 15minute call.
Now you feel, rob, thanks, Ifeel so much better.
We could have went back tosleep and not ruined.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Brad had ruined a whole weekend.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Yes, that time is precious man.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
And that's what I go back and I say I can't sit there
and stew over something.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I got to talk selfish .
Speaker 2 (20:35):
You know if I'm in cause.
I travel all the time.
If I'm sitting at a dinnerplace and I really feel an urge
to drink, rob would be thatfirst person I called.
Right, that's where my sponsorwould come in.
Right, that would be it If Ididn't call Katie first.
But you said it when you don'tBrandon, when you don't Matt,
when you don't Rob, call yourbrothers, you're being selfish
(20:56):
and taking away an opportunityfor us to be of service to a
brother we love and care aboutYou're taking that away from us,
because how free did you feelwhen Gabe started talking to you
yesterday?
What instantly happened to you?
Instantly happened.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
Oh, I felt it.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You didn't think about yourself.
No, you're right, you did notthink about yourself one bit.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
No, how can I get him through this?
Speaker 2 (21:19):
The minute I turned around and I saw his, saw that
pain cause I heard it.
He's sitting right behind me,right, and I heard it in his
voice.
And as soon as I heard it I hadto turn around and look at him.
And then I saw the pain and I'mlike I just wanted to grab him
and take all that pain away fromhim.
Yeah, but I mean I'm justletting him get it out because I
(21:41):
knew if I interrupted, right,it was going to take away what
he needed and I just let himvent.
And he literally was not ontopic.
He wasn't, and not a man inthat room gave a shit, right,
every man in that room was justletting him have it all out.
Because that's the topic, oh yes, at that point it was the topic
right, and every man in thatroom has been there.
(22:03):
We've all felt it or is there,or is there, are working through
it, or headed there.
That's where I say we don'thave one sponsor.
We have that man that got usthrough the steps, because we
don't do that in a committee,right, we don't do our steps in
a committee.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
My chicken died, and not everybody needs to fucking
know that, but we stay sober ina committee.
You know what I mean.
And again, I didn't have this.
No, were you guys right?
I had an 80-year-old man when Iactually was 70.
And I didn't have that and Iwasn't calling him.
We all know who it is and Ilove him with all my heart,
however.
So I suffered in silence a lot.
(22:38):
I was grinding.
By God's grace and his graceonly did I make it.
But we got a gift.
You guys have a gift.
Use that, motherfucker.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
We got a body of and this is what I say all the time.
I preached this when I was justat Maynard yesterday.
I preached it and I preached itand I preached it.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
And when he says preach, Brandon, he fucking
preaches.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
I do because I sat right there and I told him I
said I'll be there for the nextsermon.
I said you guys, I go, I'd madethem all stand up.
I go, I made, I told everybodyto stand up.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
So everybody stood up .
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Yeah.
And when they stood up, I saidnow, everybody but one sit down.
Because there was exactly 11people in that room.
I said everybody but one of yousit down.
I said that's the only.
That's how many people aregoing to stay sober out of this
entire group.
Is that one person, unless youguys stick together?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
that the mathematics are sound.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
That's exactly right and I said you guys, unless you
get yourself involved in a groupsponsorship, you have a plan.
And I I went back on somethingyou told me, rod, last time you
spoke up there I said and a planis not getting your job back, a
plan is not getting your wifeback.
A plan is not figuring out howto get out of jail or stay out
of jail.
That's not a fucking plan.
You leave here.
(23:44):
You better have a plan on howto stay sober.
Right, that's the plan.
You better have the rest ofthat shit.
It's going to come in.
It's contingent on that firstplan.
Correct, because if you go backout and start drinking again,
all that shit's going to happenanyways.
It's going to go away.
It's going to be gone Unless youhave a plan to stay sober.
You ain't got a plan, becauseall you're going to do is go out
(24:07):
and come right back in.
We should get Brandon up thereto speak.
There was so many people inthere that it was their second
or third or fourth time, andthat just breaks me, because
every time you ask them what didyou not do?
I didn't stay involved.
I mean it just that, and Idon't even need to hear the
answer.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
We know it.
I don't even need to hear thefucking answer, basically, but
the answer is basically I try todo it my own way the one guy
said.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
The one guy said I did it for my kids the first
time, this.
Then I did it for my wife thesecond time.
This time I'm doing it for meand I go does that mean you're
going to stay sober this time?
Yep, what are what?
Speaker 1 (24:41):
are you going to do?
What's your plan?
What's your plan?
I'm going to go back to workand get my job.
You hear that shit.
You don't hear.
I'm going to get a sponsor.
I'm going to work these fuckingsteps to the best of my ability
.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
There was one guy that was his third time and he
said he was.
When I walked in he wasliterally sitting at the table
there, ended up talking with himfor a little bit and he said it
was his third time and I go.
I asked him the same question,you know, and he goes and I go.
What's different this time?
He goes.
Well, this time I'm, this timeI'm working the steps.
I'm like good for you andbrandon did that.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
He talks about his going in and out and then doing
it on his own right, I went torehab twice, but there were 30
years in between.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Yeah, really oh, yeah , yeah we did talk about that.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Yeah, we did when I was 17.
Then 47.
Right, right, then got sober at49.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Anyways, I wanted to step on that a little bit.
We talk, we say sponsor on theshow a lot.
You know we say it, but I don'tthink we've actually really dug
into it a lot.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Well, we need to dig into it.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I think we need to get into it a little bit further
.
I am going to ask and I didn'tlast time if you're needing some
help or know somebody thatneeds help, reach out to us.
It's atrecoveryunfilteredpodcast at
gmailcom.
Reach out to us, we do.
We have had a few people, butyou know what I love the
comments that come back into us.
(26:01):
Great, but you know what I lovethe comments that come back
into us.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Great job this, but I know there's people listening
that need help, but I disagreewith us.
I want to argue.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I'll give you Rob's cell phone.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I don't like to argue not argue, but, but you know,
disagree.
I mean I want to hear thatbecause you could debate.
I mean not debate, but ironsharpens iron and I'm a dull
motherfucker, so sharpen me up.
I mean I may or may not listento those comments, but if you
disagree, let's have them.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Brandon, how are you feeling I?
Speaker 3 (26:27):
feel pretty good.
Yeah, yeah, it's been a goodday.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
That's going to keep this good thing rolling, but you
know that's contingent on you,right?
Yeah, a lot of it is.
Life's going to happen, see,and I'll disagree with you on
that a thousand percent.
We are.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
We are as happy as we choose to be right, right
choice, yeah it's it's.
I can control my attitude andmy effort.
Other than that, it's a crapand your actions and your
actions, attitude and effort.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Okay, I still say actions because your actions
could do a lot, your actions aresitting there.
Effort is actually okay, but ifyou're sitting there with your
hat down over your eyes and yourarms crossed, you are being a
negative Nancy, and that isfucking, and you might as well
be drunk, right yeah you mightas well and reach out to
(27:12):
somebody.
Reach out to a sponsor.
Reach out to somebody when youget like that.
Do not let stuff dwell on you.
That's what sponsorship is for,that's what brotherhood is for.
Thank you, rob.
What sponsorship is for,brotherhood is for and I thank
you, rob.
I was just getting ready toback to say that because our, if
you don't have a group, find agroup, get somebody, get a
couple people out of your aameeting, start your own group.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Start a group, be, get outside of aa and if the
sponsor you have isn't workingfor you, get another one.
Fire that motherfucker.
If he's got a problem with it,he'll pray for you experience
fire that prick.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Yeah, you know, and I said that the other night up
there, maynards too.
I'm like if you don't like thesponsor you have, fire that
prick and get another one, getanother one right, don't you're
not married, yeah, but I mean,you know, just get your sobriety
man, because there's justnothing.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Well, it's your life, yep, it's your sobriety, it's
your recovery.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
It's your way of, it's your happiness and your
peace and your serenity.
Find it, grab a hold of it,don't let go of it.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Can we have a fight for it?
I do.
Can we have one more?
There's a caveat to that.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
If your sponsor it's a big word.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
It's only like seven letters.
Anyway, if you want to fireyour sponsor if he's not working
for you which means if he'sholding you accountable, if he's
trying to make you do the work,that's not a reason to fire him
.
No, if you can't get.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
No, you're a thousand percent correct.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
But if you've met, with your sponsor three times.
And you haven't talked aboutstep work yet that's not the
right guy, right.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
But that same person that you just talked about.
Rob is going to go get drunkanyways.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
You're right.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah, I mean they're, they're, they're going to go
get fucking drunk.
If you're at your sponsor andhe's pissed off at you because
he's making you do the four step, you got a fucking problem.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
And if your sponsor doesn't piss you off, you
probably got a piss.
Poor sponsor, you never pissedme off.
Even afterwards, you never saidnothing to piss you off.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
No, I think I know why you never pissed me off.
It's because everything youwould tell me I knew in my mind,
I knew that I was fucked up andI knew I had to fix.
By the time I had gotten to Rob, I was just fucking depleted.
You know, I was literallydepleted and knew nothing about
me was right.
I mean, I was broken, brokenand I wanted to be a better man.
(29:39):
I didn't like that way I wasliving.
You are a good man, I try.
I wanted to be a better man.
I didn't like that way I wasliving.
You are a good man, I try.
Once I saw the light of livingwith peace and serenity, I
didn't want to go backwards.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
And there's a great example.
You can be everybody, listen,you can be a fucking asshole and
still be a good man.
Thank you, there he is.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
He's accomplished it.
Because I am an asshole, justask me Thanks Rob, thanks
Brandon.
Why do I keep saying fuckingBrad?
I got Brad on the brain today,your love.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Thank you, Brandon.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Thank you for joining us today.
We hope you learned somethingtoday that will help you If you
did not come back next week, andwe'll try again.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
If you like what we heard, give us a five-star
review.
If you don't like what youheard, kiss my ass.
I can't say that, can you?
Anyway, if you don't like whatyou heard, go ahead and tell us
that too.
We'll see what we can improve.
We probably won't changenothing, but do it anyway.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Hey, thanks, Rob.
Go back next week and hopefullysomething will be different and
something will sink you.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.