July 30, 2025 • 37 mins
The mountains speak to us in recovery. That special place where rivers merge becomes a profound metaphor for the spiritual transformation we undergo in sobriety—where God enables us to "match calamity with serenity." One host shares how returning to this sacred spot after gaining sobriety brought tears of gratitude rather than just momentary escape.
What does love truly mean in recovery? Before sobriety, many of us believed we understood love, but as one host powerfully states, "I didn't know what love was until I got sober." Through working the steps and embracing recovery, we discover that authentic love involves giving without expectation—a concept entirely foreign during active addiction when self-centered thinking dominated every relationship.
The conversation takes a challenging turn as the hosts grapple with a pressing ethical dilemma: how to handle relationships with those who continue dangerous drinking behavior. When someone repeatedly drives intoxicated, putting countless lives at risk, what responsibility do we have? Where is the line between compassion and enabling? One host's wife cuts through the uncertainty with stark clarity: "My children drive on that road. It's our fucking business."
Even amid these weighty topics, lighter moments emerge as hosts share stories about navigating everyday frustrations sober—like keeping cool in backed-up Home Depot lines—and rediscovering family connections through shared meals and traditions. These seemingly ordinary experiences take on extraordinary significance when viewed through the lens of recovery.
The episode concludes with exciting announcements about upcoming guests, including behavioral health professionals who'll bring expert perspectives to complement the lived experience that forms the backbone of this podcast. Whether you're newly sober or decades into recovery, these forthcoming conversations promise valuable insights for navigating the complex terrain of life without alcohol.
Join us on this authentic journey through recovery's challenges and triumphs. Subscribe now and be part of a community that speaks the unfiltered truth about what it means to rebuild a life worth living—one day at a time.
Thank You for Joining Us.. Please share with friends. If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcoholism please reach out to us. We can get you help. recoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I just happened to open up to how it Works.
There's a chapter called how it.
Works.
We're going to go to work Intoaction.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Let's go to work.
I'm still looking for theanswers.
(00:26):
I'm still searching for thereal.
(00:46):
The refuge of my past ishaunting me.
He just won't leave me alone.
Rest in peace, sir Ozzy andHulk Hogan.
Yeah, we lost Theo, we lostHulk Hogan, and then we lost the
(01:09):
legend.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Ozzy man.
Blizzard of Oz is my favoritealbum of his.
With Randy Rhoads man, that wasgreat.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
But they're all great .
When Andrea passed away andthey played my Mom Coming Home
oh no, kidding Dude I wept, Weptand every time I hear that song
, all I can think of is Andrea.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
We played that a lot in boot camp.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Did you?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
My Mom Coming Home.
We did yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
That hits a little different in boot camp, doesn't
it?
Yeah, it does, it does.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
You know it's got really nothing.
So you know, Hi Rob, how youdoing.
Buddy, I am well.
Man, I am well.
How are you?
I'm great.
I spent yesterday with Jasonand Kim or me, and my wife spent
yesterday with Jason and Kim upin you know Clarks Fork and
Sands Flap.
What a day, it was awesome.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
It's so beautiful up there.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
And you got the rain, just cleaned everything off it.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
It.
It's so dirty up there anyways,that dirt is just dirt that is
some nasty ass dirt.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I don't care what you say, that is some nasty ass.
What's this like?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
decomposed uh granite oh gosh, it's well that.
Yeah, over at eureka valleyit's that way, but it's sam
flats, it's.
It's just nasty ash, it's ashand dirt and good grief it takes
you.
When I get home from up there,I need a pressure washer, I feel
like, but I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I would rather be there I mean, I like the ocean
too, but to feel peace for me tofeel the news if they're the
nearness of God, I gotta be inthe mountains.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
You know, I and I, we were talking about this, and
not that he's not everywhere.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I can hear him.
I can hear people God'severywhere.
Shut up.
Yeah, there's in the mountainsmore than he is.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
There is a special place right there between the
south fork and the middle forkand I have it tattooed on the
back on my arm.
It's where those two riversflow together down there and as
a kid that the rivers and don'tI don't know it's you got to be
up there fairly early when themelt starts, when the melt start
to get what I'm going to talkabout.
But there's a point up in therewhere the middle fork and the
(03:03):
south fork come, come bangingtogether down there and as a kid
, when we were up there fishingand stuff, I can just remember
sitting there and as I grew upand always going down there and
I can go there every time andsit there and just it just
mesmerizes me and with my backand everything I haven't been
(03:24):
able to get down there.
So we were up there camping acouple weekends ago.
My wife's going to hear thisand fucking shoot me.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
That's all right, it's already done.
You already got it done.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
So I snuck off from camp early I left about 530, and
I drove up Fence Creek thereand I knew where the road was.
It kind of went down there alittle ways and I dropped down
there and I sat there for a fewminutes and just wept, man Devin
.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Now tears, of joy tears of gratitude.
Gratitude Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
To know that I can go back and enjoy that when I was
drinking, I would look at it andit's just my happy place.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Now it's just you know the joy, Just a new meaning
.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
It's just, you know, that's still, like I said,
that's the image I have tattooedon the back of my shoulder
right here, and it's just youknow, and it's not like I said.
It's where that calamity andserenity just bang together, and
it's just you know.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
it talks about it in our book, where God enables us
to match calamity with serenity,yep.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
And I, just like I said, when I first heard that in
recovery and rehab at Mainers,I was like what the fuck are you
talking about?
How the hell do you?
I just couldn't fathom whatthey even meant by that.
And you know now, looking backand thinking about that.
You know when I learned to dothat is when my obsession went.
(04:47):
What does it?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
say it says God enables us.
It's just like the serenityprayer Right.
God, grant me Right.
Serenity, right Right.
Peace, strength, courage thatmeans those things don't emanate
within us.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Right, unless God's there.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
We can't pull up our bootstraps and just get serene.
It's an outside, it's an insidejob from.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
God, and it takes work.
Yes, it takes daily.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
It takes, surrender it takes, you know, prayer it
takes.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
You know, you guys Letting go.
Yeah, you've heard me say myHome Depot story.
Right, multiple like two orthree months when you bit that
gal's head off, yeah, and thenwent back and made two or three.
Yeah, yesterday I was.
I just built some boxes andstuff because we're getting
ready for mckenna's wedding andI was building some stuff for
her and I had to go to homedepot yesterday and the line was
(05:37):
backed up and I was standingthere and there's two lines,
there's one here I didn't doself-checkout because I had a
bunch of wood and so I'mstanding in this line and then
this line and the lady, thecashier, in my line, was like
researching some weed eater crapand the line was backed up.
But the other line just keptgoing, kept going and I'm like
what the fuck are we doing?
(05:59):
And I started to get thatlittle pissy ass because I'm in
a hurry.
Don Don't you know?
Right, right, do you know who?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
the fuck I am Don't you know how much my time is
worth.
Motherfuckers.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
I just, you know what .
I ended up having to just bitemy tongue.
And then the as that the ladyon the other side recognized
that you know, that line wasgetting long, so she started
calling us over there.
And I long.
So she started calling us overthere and I'm like, I looked at
the lady and I go why does shehave an associate?
Help that guy instead ofresearching weed eater?
Why is she staying at the dam?
I don't know.
She's new.
She sounded as frustrated asshe was, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Anyways, I bit my tongue good, and then you don't
have to do a tenth step.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
No I don't have to make amends.
I had to do myself because Iwas thinking it.
That's's all right.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah, that's all right.
We're not.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
We are not responsible for our thoughts
unless they go into action,right, it's that second thought
that kills you.
It could, it could, right.
So yeah, katie's been gone for,for I don't know how you did it
with Bonnie gone for six weeks.
I don't know how you did it.
I don't know Katie's been gonefor, since Katie's been gone for
three days and, uh, I did some.
(07:07):
I got more.
I could tell you right now Igot a shitload of work done
around this house, yeah, but I,uh, I, I just by the second day
I was wanting her home.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
But you know what I'm going to tell you what I found
out.
I didn't have appreciation formy wife, because I did, or
single mothers, or singleparents I shouldn't even say
that single parents because I,you know, I got, I go to work.
I get before o'clock, go towork.
I'd have planned the day before, uh, what I was going to do for
dinner, right, and then if Ihad something crock pot and I
leave my daughter don't take I'dhave it all set up.
(07:38):
I'd get up at three or four,whatever.
You know how early I had to getup.
The other thing prep.
I did a lot of crock pot, wecame up with a lot of good
recipes and I'd just say at sixo'clock, maybe turn it all lower
.
I'd do some of that.
But then I'd find out you gethome, if you're doing step work
for someone, or if I got ameeting or whatever commitments
I had.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
But by the time eight o'clock would roll around, son
of a bitch.
How do these people do it?
I don't know.
You know.
I mean, that's just I'm veryfortunate I don't have kids at
home, right, I just taking careof myself.
My wife would actually shoot meif she saw what I ate for the
last two days.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
You know she gets mad at me because I don't eat top
ramen and hot dogs.
I just don't eat a little hotsauce.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
You know, after my gastric bypass I don't get
hungry, right?
Yeah, I don't get hungry, right, yeah, I don't.
But the problem is is myprotein and everything else.
I just don't get it if I don'teat.
So I'll go to bed.
Sometimes I'll be like, oh shit, I need to get up and eat
something because you know, Igotta have fuel.
Baby.
Well, I just, I just forget, Idon't.
Like I said, every once in awhile I'll get a hunger pain,
(08:40):
but not very, not very often, soI'll just eat junk.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Speaking of that.
Like I said, we jason took uh,jason and kim took us to a kitty
meadows.
He was, you got to try thismeal, the steak and I was like
no kennedy oh yeah, why had theprivate dude?
It was, and I'm picky about my.
It was a really good cut ofprime rib, the soup I mean it
was.
You're gonna get that meal forthat price corn on the cob yeah,
it was really good there, I'mgoing to tell you.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
It's you know they once again.
I eat like a 10 year old.
Their chicken tenders up thereare incredible I'm getting that.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
You see the ladies just prime rib tonight.
You got it yeah well yeah it'sjust their chicken I can't do
chicken normally, when I go inthere, I eat the chicken tender
well, and bonnie said that shewas talking as she was raised
basically by a single mother.
So when my wife learned to makehamburger helper, you know her
her brother, jason, would likehey, sis, can you, can you make
(09:34):
that stuff again, can you make?
As he thought that was ahamburger helper.
So then when we got married,she couldn't cook.
I mean, she didn't, she onlyknew how to make a few things.
So I taught her and she tried.
If he was telling jason and kimthe story when she tried to
give me hamburger help and I'mlooking at it, you're really not
gonna try to feed me that shit,are you?
Hamburger don't need no fuckinghelp.
What is that?
I'm not eating that, I mean Iwas blessed my mom and dad.
They both worked, but my mom, wecooked.
(09:55):
You know I always had homecooking.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
That's the benefit of you know, dad, my, when I my
mom and dad, we had home cookinguntil I was probably eight or
nine years old, I can rememberthat and then it was just chaos
around our house because my momand dad separated and blah, blah
, blah.
And I never then, from probablyabout 10 to when I started
(10:17):
dating Katie, I was I mean, yougot.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
A fit for yourself.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Oh yeah, you ate when you can, and it was peanut
butter.
If you were lucky, you hadpeanut butter and, and you know,
some bread to put on it, or.
But when I started dating Katie, she I mean, every night her
mom would come home at sixo'clock.
Six o'clock that dinner was onthe table, right.
And it's just like when Istarted dating Katie I was 185
(10:41):
pounds, soaking wet, 185 pounds,but I'd just gotten off the
cocaine, too sweet powdersponsored by powdered
accelerants.
I just stopped doing thecocaine.
So and six foot three, 180, Iwas six, 185, I was a lot of
muscle because I just well, yeah, you're lean baby and um, and
(11:04):
it was just weird.
It was strange to me.
And you know what Katie to thisday it doesn't matter how
scatterbrained she is when shewas getting ready to fly out to
Phoenix she cooks dinner for thekids for every Wednesday night,
she cooks dinner for thegrandkids and everything to come
over, because most of the timeI'm gone on a Wednesday night,
so it's was just her way ofgetting people around the family
.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
That's what Bonnie does to me at least, because
even the kids, my kids, areolder, but I'm gone.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Yeah, she wants everybody else here when I'm
gone.
That's all right, I don't blameher.
Don't blame her.
Yeah, but she was flying outThursday morning.
She had to get up at 2.30.
And she was still going to bevery cautious.
(11:51):
I think a little bit about howI don't.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Well, I don't know where you're going to go, so you
know where I'm going to go.
I don't know how cautious I'mgoing to be and I opened up a
page in the big book that mightpertain but it might not.
It just happened open.
I started reading kind of whatyou're talking like.
Ooh, this might help us answera question.
Anyway, good you know it's whatthe hell you got.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
I'm just frustrated with one of our brothers and he
is one of our brothers, rightCause, you know, listen, I need
your help.
I can't tell you what it is.
You can never ask me about itlater and we're going to hurt
some people.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Which car are we going to take?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
That's the friendship we have with a lot of people,
right.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
We got about 27 to 32 guys, depending on the night.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
And that's what we do , because, jason, we were
sitting there to talk on thatfriendship.
Jason was, you know, we'resitting down there getting ready
to order dinner and he wastelling me because I go, Bonnie
says not to let you guys buy medinner, you don't know it was
dinner.
He says listen, you know whatyou?
He goes yeah, I helped you putyour bathroom in, but what you
did, that is a dog, you know.
And I said, anyway, you knowthat whole thing.
(12:53):
He says not, no, no, you know,that's not what you did for us
when we were over there, thatlittle piece of mine and I said.
My response was what good is itto tell people you love them if
, when the time comes to show it.
You don't.
That means, your words aremeaningless, absolutely.
Love is action the words, theaction gives the words strength.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
And I've said this a few times on here I didn't know
what love was until I got sober.
I really didn't.
I didn't either brother, Ididn't, I didn't know the true
meaning Not didn't.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I didn't know the true meaning Not a clue.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I didn't know the true meaning of love until I got
sober and walked those steps.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
That's why, when Jay told me this, larry, he said
because you hear in the rooms,we'll love you till you learn to
love yourself.
Jay said I'll never tell youthat he goes.
I'll love you till you learn tolove.
All you ever did was loveyourself.
It may have been aself-defeating, a
self-destructive kind of love,but all you ever did was care
about yourself first.
(13:50):
He said I'll love you until youlearn to love somebody else.
Because I didn't all my life.
I didn't know, I didn't know, Ididn't know how.
I had no idea.
No, but it doesn't matter, Ididn't seek either.
I sought.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Rob didn't seek either.
I saw I sought rob, you knowcorrect, and I did too for a
very long time.
Right, I married my wifebecause she was a she.
She just stole my heart, right.
But I didn't.
I just didn't have that deeplove until we didn't care about
it.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
No, we just put ourselves first.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yes, way first, way first, and it just, it just.
I didn't understand what itmeant to give to another person.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Until I got sober I didn't know for nothing in
return, no, just just to give.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
So rolling back to what I'm trying to get to, and I
have a brother that's dancingaround I got a bro.
We have a brother.
That's extremely frustrating.
I love this man, fuck I lovethe guy.
Yeah, and I would bury a bodyfor that guy.
But god bless it, man, I'd buryhim.
Yeah, at this point, right now,I'm ready to fucking bury him.
You know, I spoke to somebodyelse yesterday and we got.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
I found out something else that this well, that well,
that gentleman you talked toyou was a gentleman I sponsored,
because he called and asked myhow do I handle this?
Right, I was, I was in jujitsupractice, I was unavailable and
he handled it perfectly.
He confronted, and then here,so let me ask you this, because
I asked you well, larry, whatshould we do?
We know, you know, as, becausedo we continue to loving?
(15:18):
Well, and what does love looklike?
Love, yeah, and I can't stand.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
I can't stand no, no, no, tough love.
Yeah, there's no such thing astough love it's's just love.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Love takes many forms .
Let me read this story to you.
So this is okay.
It says this brings to mind astory about one of our friends.
While drinking, he accepted asum of money from a bitterly
hated business rival, giving himno receipt for it.
He thus used his own wrongdoingas a means of destroying the
(15:48):
reputation of another.
In fact, his rival was ruined.
He felt that he had done awrong he could not possibly make
right.
If he opened that old affair,he was afraid it would destroy
the reputation of his partner,disgrace his family and take
away his means of livelihood.
Maybe what right had he toinvolve those dependent upon him
?
How could he possibly make apublic statement exonerating his
(16:11):
rival?
After consulting with his wifeand partner, he came to the
conclusion that it was better totake those risks than to stand
before his creator guilty ofsuch ruinous slander.
He saw that he had to place theoutcome in God's hands or he
would soon drink again and hewould soon be lost.
Anyhow, he attended church forthe first time in many years.
(16:33):
After the sermon, he quietlygot up and made an explanation.
His actions were met withwidespread approval and today he
is one of the most trustedcitizens of his town.
This all happened years ago, sowhat length are we supposed to
go?
You know whether it works ornot, right, I you know, because
we know what can happen.
What he, what this personchooses to do when they drink
(16:54):
they like to get behind thewheel of a car yes, and that's
the, and my children, yourchildren, your grandchildren are
on these fucking roads morepeople than just him, and then
you know.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
If he was just sitting at home doing it, so be
it.
But he's involving other menand other people and other human
beings and other souls and it'slike, motherfucker, what are
you doing?
You've already done this once.
You've already spent time inthe prison.
Are you going to fucking do itagain?
This time you're going to killa fucking another innocent
person, not again, but kill aninnocent fucking person.
(17:28):
I mean, what right?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Where do we stand?
Well, see, this is what.
Because I was abroad and I wasfrustrated and I was talking to
another one of our brothers.
You know what, actually, uh, mywife had said, cause she
overheard the conversation whileI was talking because I had on
speaker as I was washing up.
And then, uh, I was going tocall aaron, one of our other
brothers, and I said, well, youknow, it's really not.
(17:51):
You know, I'm just gonna prayfor him, it's none of my
business.
She says mother, what's shegonna say?
Motherfucker?
She said bullshit.
Honey, my children drive onthat road.
Right, your children drive onthat road.
It's our fucking business,right?
Right, don't call this videos.
Would you tell jason out withjason ryan when we're up there,
don't you know?
She says just because sometimeslove isn't always hugs and
kisses, sometimes love's a kickin the ass absolutely I said,
(18:12):
you know, but, and that's coming, so, my wife, we've done that
too, though I know we've done?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
have we, though?
You and aaron have more than Ihave.
I have loved and loved andloved and loved.
Right, I have tried, I havespoken, I have picked up, I have
done as much as I can.
So, for me, in this situation,working with that guy, I have to
protect myself because he cango fuck himself.
But what goes back to what youwere saying.
(18:40):
What's our duty?
When do we, when do you and Iand the rest of our group tell
him to go fuck himself, get outof our get, just get the fuck
out of our group.
All together, we don't wantanything to fucking do.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Okay, now we set this book aside.
Okay, you pull the other one inthat.
This was our, our bible.
Oh yeah, yeah, what is?
the real big book what paul sayto a brother you, you, you, you,
the immoral bro is immoralbrother, but you kick him out
Right, more like excommunicatehim, because then you, you eat
pot coals on his head which isshame until they repent and come
(19:13):
back.
Or if they you know, but, buthere's the problem.
No, I shouldn't say the problem.
Ah, fuck, you know, it ain'tgonna change nothing anyway.
You know and this is whenpeople tell me that you know
what I say to them.
You might be right, it may notchange nothing, but it damn sure
won't change if you don't takeaction, right?
So me giving myself that out.
I've tried, I've tried tosponsor them.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I've tried this.
You know that's more.
You and aaron have given morethan I know.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
That's still bullshit does that mean that?
Does that mean I still, I don'tgive anymore.
I think we need to do something.
What do you?
What?
Okay, I think about five of usneed to get you?
Just go over and have a talk.
It may not change a fuckingthing, it probably won't.
He's a fucking chameleon, iswhat he is, I know, but it
probably won't.
But if we don't and this is thesame thing I told, uh, when you
know the buddy of mine thatshot himself, that's still alive
(20:00):
, we all know when I was talkingto his father, he's Rob I don't
want to push him because hemight go do it again.
I said he might, he might do itanyway, right, but at least
because I go, because he goes, Iwas not, I was not doing what
he was doing, I was.
I told my friend the fuckingtruth, right, and if he goes out
(20:22):
and does it again, all right atleast I loved him enough to
live with the regret.
Well, fuck, what if I had doneit?
Well, I don't have to live withthat regret because I did do it
right, I spoke.
So I think that's what weshould do.
And if he does go out and killsomebody, hey, at least when I
go to bed, man, I tried, I dideverything I could do to get
through to the man.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
We say this all the time he's just not done.
He's just not done, obviously.
But when we we say this all thetime, he's just not done, he's
just not done, obviously.
But when we say this all thetime is where's that?
I mean, he's had so much happen.
It's like, well, maybe he's hada fucking, he's been on the
bottom and you can't tell me hecouldn't have gotten much more
bottom.
No, I can't.
He took an elevator up out ofthat fucking pit, but the
(21:00):
fucking cable broke halfway upand that elevator fell back
fucking down.
Yeah, and it's just, he can'tget it fucking right out of the
hole.
Don't say can't, no, no, no,you're right, he won't, won't,
he won't fucking jump on thatfucking elevator and come out.
And it's just like at somepoint you keep looking down
going do this, do this, let mehelp you here.
And you give that meme where,like old farmer, digs that
(21:23):
fucking that sheep out of thehole and he fucking runs out and
jumps right back in the fuckinghole.
It's like dip shit.
Stay out of the fucking hole.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
But then okay, now we're talking about a human and
not a sheep.
Cause that sheep had done that,I had to take my 42, put it
right in his eyeball.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Maybe we should do the same and help.
God damn, I don't think you'rewrong by saying you know, maybe
we do need to get over there, Idon't know.
But it's just like you know youlove them.
I love this man.
He's got such a fucking story.
He could save some souls, myGod.
He could save some souls withhis story and he just won't help
(21:58):
himself.
Nope, and it's frustrating.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Dude, try to sponsor that shit like that, but the
only person that I've you gotmore patience than me, brother
what's my, what's my rule for?
You said don't waste my fuckingtime and I've allowed him to
waste my time three times yeah,no one's ever got to do that.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Yeah, I said no, that's wrong of me, I should, it
is and I mean I'm done now, butI shouldn't.
I shouldn't have done that thatmotherfucker, you don't fuck
yourself.
If he came back to you onfucking bending knees with an
olive branch, you would fuckingdo it.
Don't fucking flip me off,bitch.
I know your heart too well, rob, I know your heart.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
But he won't.
But yeah, I would, I know youwould.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Fuck, yeah, I would.
You know what, andunfortunately I would too.
We have big fucking hearts.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
So are we like my wife, back in, you know from, am
I an enabler now, come on, comeon.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
If that's an enabler, because Come on is it when he
stands right now?
I wouldn't.
He would have to show and Ithink you're the same way He'd
have to show something we did.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I gave him the object I know, let me finish these
three guys, which is going totake two weeks, then all going
to take two weeks, then they'reall three are done with their
steps.
And if you can stay sober,buddy, we can go right.
He couldn't stay sober two daysafter that and we haven't seen
him, as we haven't.
He hasn't been back to a mondaysince, right.
So there, I'm, there's my.
You know, I say there's my out,but if he came home bent to d
and s, I know well, because Imean, yeah, what do we have?
(23:19):
490, you know, seven times seven, 70, seven times 77, anyways, I
know 77?
, anyways, I know.
But this man here that I readtrusted God, just put it in
God's hands and said I'm goingto go do the right thing no
matter what, and leave it inGod's hands.
But wait, there's cleardirection in here what to do.
There's clear direction in ourother book what we're to do, but
(23:41):
none of us have done it yet.
Aaron's came the closest.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yeah we to do, and none of us have done it yet.
Aaron's came the closest.
Yeah, I know I was talking tohim on the way home yesterday.
I don't know I I just you knowit gets just so frustrating and
then when you see a text comethrough, it's just like I I want
to fire back.
So bad.
That's what the listeners don'tget to see.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Now, all the bullshit that we get in our group text,
all the you know, all these andthere's another text that aaron
and I are part of.
There's little text groups thathe, this, this, just another
guy we're talking about likes toput us in with certain people
from the church still the deal,and it's his way of letting
everybody know that they don'tknow what's going on.
But, right, they think, oh,he's doing great because, look,
he's sending us these gospelmessages and he's drinking as
he's doing it.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
I was a hypocrite too in my life and sometimes I
still am, but not like that,right, not like that I don't
know and I you're right, I meanit's just, and I don't want to
keep beating this dead horse andI'm no, I'm almost done with it
I want to skin it but and hangit dude it's just.
I'm frustrated with him.
I'm frustrated with him.
I'm frustrated with him beyondall I'm frustrated with anybody
(24:40):
that does this.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yes, this is him.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
There's people in the rooms those two guys the one
guy I threw out of my fuckinghouse, if he came back here
tomorrow and wanted me tosponsor him again, if he was
serious and he was like the bigbook says if he means business,
will help anybody, if they meanbusiness, and if you don't mean
business, go fuck yourself, goget finished.
It's just, you know.
And, like I said, I'm over thatand I just what the greatest
(25:04):
gift you know.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
I wish you got to meet elliot.
He lived down for me.
He was a little more, a littlebit long.
He was younger than jay.
He died of pancreatic cancerabout three years ago.
Good man, sober for years andmy when my brother, buddy larry,
my big brother, you have morethan one yeah, larry, larry g
who took me.
I know, yeah, you got, so larrygoes.
There's three men I want you tomeet.
(25:25):
There's Jay.
There's a guy named Elliot whoended up being my neighbor.
I could walk to Elliot's housein 90 seconds, which was handy,
but the first thing he said tome was shook my hand.
My name's Elliot, he says, andhe'd look.
And when Elliot would talk,he'd talk real low.
Call me before you take a drink.
I'll go to hell with you callme after you drink.
(25:46):
Call me after you drink, you cango to hell by yourself that
amen brother my name's elliotand I was like my god, I love
this guy, right because he wasfucking brutally honest and he
meant it right, and there wastimes in early sobriety, like
when I because I was going tocall jay you know what I mean
just because I would get up, Iwould walk down.
I mean about, you know, on asaturday, my heart, every time
you talk about that, I'd walkdown.
You know, on a Saturday orSunday.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
You break my heart every time you talk about that.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I'd walk down to Elliot's house and we would have
a hey last night about 2o'clock, man this and he would
say why don't you call?
I'm not calling you, I'm notgoing to do that.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
But now you've learned.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Now I've learned.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
That's why I offer that service to those
motherfuckers who need it don'tdo what rob does.
That's so funny, he's an idiot.
So yeah, katie katie sent me apicture.
So they were just in phoenixfor, uh, for my daughter's
bachelorette party and they were.
They were having a pretty goodtime, they were doing everything
that was a beautiful pictureyou sent of your I was just
getting ready said the samething.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
She sent you a little message back oh, she did.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Oh, I haven't.
I haven't looked at the.
I've been on my Instagrambecause I did that.
Anyways, you know, Katie sentthat to me.
Once again, I'm very emotionalwhen it comes to my girls right,
Three of those are my girls andI posted something on Instagram
yesterday.
You know, when I look atpictures like that, I'm just
(27:02):
like one drink away.
One drink.
One drink Could have missed itall and I still could.
Yeah.
Right and I still could, but youare so far from a drink right
now that and I am, you know, andI look at things like I was,
but you never forget and Iappreciate that, no, and it just
every time I look at it itreminds me of why I don't and
why, you know, I just spent fourdays thursday, friday, saturday
(27:26):
most of the day.
She's landed, she's on her wayhome right now and, uh, I didn't
go to a meeting, right?
I didn't go to saturday morningbecause, I mean, I busy around
the house, I had stuff gettingready and that meeting is not
till nine o'clock and you knowmy frustration with that needs
to be at 7 30.
Oh, my gosh, it's just.
You know that nine o'clockmeeting is literally you.
When you get up at five o'clockin the morning, I so much I'm
(27:49):
in the middle shit, right.
So if I start a project, I gotto stop it and then come back
and I'm not going to go back toit because now it's 1030 and
it's nap time.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
You know we should do , we should start our own seven,
seven thirty meeting at the, atthe sewing shop.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
It's just whatever.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
It's that nine o'clock is, just just it is, and
then it gets done, usually at10, 30 and then like and then
here's the other thing you and Iare getting ready to start
coaching my grandson's footballand bradson we got johnson
jonathan, we're getting ready tostart coaching that we're not
going to hit another saturdaymorning meeting for a while
we'll have one with me, you andbrad I guess in the third and
fourth graderswe'll have one with me you and
Brad, I guess, and the third andfourth graders.
(28:30):
We'll have a quick one beforewe start coaching.
Dude, I had a dream last night.
I was telling Jason and Kimabout it.
Me and Bonnie were talkingabout it, and last night you
were coaching and I don't knowwho our quarterback was.
Kane was a receiver, but ourquarterback we were doing a
rollout play and this is weird,but he kept.
He'd have the ball here, whichkept frustrating me.
It's like no, no, no.
As soon as you turn your hips,that ball's got to be by your
(28:52):
ear.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
You got to be here Up .
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Ready to you know, because he kept.
He was late on.
I don't know who it was, justlike shit, a coach in high
school varsity football.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
I'm gonna go back and coach third and fourth you know
flag football, yeah, football,you know, I, I was in my mind.
I'm thinking of all theseoffensive plays and thinking of
all these defensive plays.
I'm like larry, stop, stop,yeah, simple bud, simple right.
I have all this shit in my headand it's like stop, wait till
you get out there, like set itup for what you got.
(29:25):
So it's coming up August.
I don't know.
I need to get some details thisweek.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
She told me, vanessa told me it was August.
We have our coaches and thentowards the end of August is
when we start.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah, I got to figure that out because I got to move
some schedules around on my side.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
All I have.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Doug is.
I fly out tomorrow and I'm goneuntil Friday, and then I turn
right around.
What time do you?
Speaker 1 (29:51):
fly out tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
I don't fly out until 1 tomorrow, but then I'm home
on Friday and then on Tuesdaythe following week I'm back over
in Salinas for the entire week,so all the way through Saturday
because we have a big dinner.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Anyways, we're talking serious stuff, so I'll
get the dates.
I'll have Doug get the dates,since he nailed us into this
bullshit he needs to pay us astipend, you know what I think
he does.
He's got the money.
I think that's In-N-Out Burger,at least once a week.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Doug Douglas.
So yeah, McKenna's wedding isgetting closer and closer.
I spent all day yesterday.
She wanted these boxes built.
They're stepping stone boxeswhat?
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Go ahead, I'm going to keep these two.
There's two things I need toask you that are super important
.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Okay, go ahead.
Anyways, she wanted these boxesand I don't know if you've
bought wood lately.
No, I haven't.
These boxes end up costing $650in wood, god bless.
They're a two-foot, athree-foot and a four-foot Right
, and so they put flowers on onboth sides of the altar and
stuff when she's getting married, and it's like I tried to build
(31:01):
them as simple and easy as Ipossibly could, but it's still
$650 in freaking wood.
That's what I did Friday,saturday and Sunday.
I finished up this morning.
I finished up about.
It's funny, I was outside about6 o'clock with my stereo on and
the saws going in the garage.
You know this is going back towhat.
I couldn't do that kind ofstuff without drinking before.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Oh hell no.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
And that's just that was that's the first, before you
even get your tools ready.
Right, I'd have the jack dalesnerves first, jack daniels,
right there, calm the nervesfirst.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
All right, what are your two things?
Um, as far as about, uh,mckenna's wedding, bonnie rsvp
had already and she and she justsent a sum of money towards
their fund.
Yep, she was want to make surethat she did everything right,
so she was gonna ask katie tomake sure that she did
everything right.
So she was going to ask Katieto make sure.
I don't know, because she's notvery.
Anyway, I'll ask.
Second thing my nephew, tammy'syoungest, challen.
Well, they both drive fueltrucks back in Wyoming.
(31:58):
Okay, he's thinking of buying,you know, looking into buying
his own truck and this kind of.
And I said, well, and he'scoming out.
I think it's September, lateAugust or September.
I said, well, I'll have himtalk to Larry.
Yeah, yeah, if you could.
So we'll set it with that.
When he's getting close, I'llhave you set aside an hour.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
We'll come out and just talk to him.
Talk to him about?
Is he absolutely no, absolutelyso.
Um so we're gonna wrap this up,but I want to understand on
august 3rd, uh, which is nextsunday, yes, we're back in
studio, back in the studio andwe're gonna have paul and dr
(32:37):
barry I got a lot of uh I got, Igot a few paul had some.
They love.
Yeah, they love.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
He's got a good voice well, he's got a dude, he's got
a voice he's got a voice forradio.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
He's got a voice for this.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Like I've got a face for radio, he's got a voice for
it.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
You got a face only your mama loves.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
She died.
Yeah, so August 3rd, nextSaturday.
Well, this is going to air.
Well, this is coming Sunday.
So Dr Berry and Paul's going tobe here.
So dr barry's a doctor ofbehavioral health and paul is a
nurse.
I'm thinking he he said he hadhis nursing degree and he also
is the vice president, thesenior vice president, of
(33:15):
dignity, which is behavioralhealth.
Yeah, he's a big wig.
Yeah, he's, he's up there, butextremely intelligent oh man
extremely smart so what I wouldlike and the living experience
of one of us yes 37 eight yearsof sobriety and the program
right and so we're gonna have acouple professionals on here
we're not doctors, but the drbarry is, and paul is about as
(33:38):
smart of a person that I knowcoming to behavioral health.
So what?
I would like if our listenershave questions that they want
answered, if you got something,a topic or something you want to
be brought up during that,episode.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
this is the time to do it.
Yes, we're going to.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
you're going to have knowledge, we're going to have a
lot of knowledge in the studioand I don't care how long the
podcast goes.
We'll sit here all day long ifwe need to.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
And I'll bet you.
I'll bet you 90 to nothing.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Oh yeah you, I'll bet you 90 to nothing.
Oh, once they get, oh yeah,it's just gonna go, or no, we'll
direct, but it's just gonna.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I'm excited, you know , I'm excited for that because
she's gonna have.
I bet she'll have a lot ofquestions for oh, yeah, no and I
mean he could really help.
This is gonna be a blessing forboth.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I know I'm excited, and then our then the week, then
we're back in the studio.
We got three weeks back to backto back that we're recording.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Okay, we got then we got jim hart coming in.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I love that he's so much fun don't you fucking start
already on that guy tell youwhat, jim?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
you haven't even met me yet and you're cracking on my
.
He's making dude, I loved it.
He's making fucking short jokes.
The rain man rob still cracksme up.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Rain man rob that's so funny, but yeah, he made with
that with the shitter, whenbrad had the forklift, the
shitter on the forklift.
The Rain man Rob still cracksme up.
Rain man Rob, that's so funny,but yeah, he's.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
But he made the shitter when Brad had the
forklift.
The shitter on the forklift.
He hasn't even met me yet andmaking short jokes, I love it.
Jim, you're right, his ass is.
We got a jujitsu match rightthere with a retired fireman.
That's funny.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
My son-in-law, so he's going to be here.
He flies in on Friday, so he'sgoing to be with us Friday,
saturday, sunday and Monday he'sgoing to go to our meeting with
us.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
We'll hit some meetings then.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Yep, so he'll be there, and then the following
weekend.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
We're going to take him to primary on a Friday.
Yes, sir.
Okay, maybe take him to dinnertoo.
Ask, pay for it, fireman,fireman, fireman he better be
six foot or better.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
I don't hear shit from him and then, uh, then,
socal, socal cat's gonna be uphere, so okay, by that time we
better get some damn cameras.
Oh yeah, you know, we shouldhave cameras for dr barry,
because she's very I ain't gonnahave it ready that fast, but
you know um so I'm excited, forwe got some good ones coming up,
(35:49):
some really good ones.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
So next one's going to be we got one, the one we're
doing today, yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
We got a good one today, which this next week
you're going to hear.
It's Sean.
Sean.
I'll let him talk how he wantsto talk or introduce himself,
but Sean's got 10 years ofsobriety, Doesn't not involved
in any program, just doing it.
So we're going to figure outhow that's working out for him.
He's got a hell of a story.
(36:15):
I've had some time to talk tohim and I can't wait to hear
from him.
So let's you and I get out ofhere.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Thanks, rob, I need you out.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Oh shit, wait, Seth, that's a good one though.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Yeah, that's my favorite one.
Hey, you know.
Hey, I'm that guy, I know youare, and I got a disposal system
.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
I won't tell no one what it is, but I've got it.
Thank you for joining us today.
I've tested it For bones If youdo not come back next week and
we'll try again heard kiss my.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
You can't say that, can you?
Anyway, if you don't like whatyou heard, go ahead and tell us
that too.
We'll see what we can improve.
We probably won't changenothing, but do it anyway hey,
thanks, rob.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Come back next week and hopefully something will be
different and something willsink in.
This has been recovery,unfiltered.
I just happened to open up to how it Works.
There's a chapter called how it.
Works.
We're going to go to work Intoaction.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Let's go to work.
I'm still looking for theanswers.
(00:26):
I'm still searching for thereal.
(00:46):
The refuge of my past ishaunting me.
He just won't leave me alone.
Rest in peace, sir Ozzy andHulk Hogan.
Yeah, we lost Theo, we lostHulk Hogan, and then we lost the
(01:09):
legend.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Ozzy man.
Blizzard of Oz is my favoritealbum of his.
With Randy Rhoads man, that wasgreat.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
But they're all great .
When Andrea passed away andthey played my Mom Coming Home
oh no, kidding Dude I wept, Weptand every time I hear that song
, all I can think of is Andrea.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
We played that a lot in boot camp.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Did you?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
My Mom Coming Home.
We did yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
That hits a little different in boot camp, doesn't
it?
Yeah, it does, it does.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
You know it's got really nothing.
So you know, Hi Rob, how youdoing.
Buddy, I am well.
Man, I am well.
How are you?
I'm great.
I spent yesterday with Jasonand Kim or me, and my wife spent
yesterday with Jason and Kim upin you know Clarks Fork and
Sands Flap.
What a day, it was awesome.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
It's so beautiful up there.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
And you got the rain, just cleaned everything off it.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
It.
It's so dirty up there anyways,that dirt is just dirt that is
some nasty ass dirt.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I don't care what you say, that is some nasty ass.
What's this like?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
decomposed uh granite oh gosh, it's well that.
Yeah, over at eureka valleyit's that way, but it's sam
flats, it's.
It's just nasty ash, it's ashand dirt and good grief it takes
you.
When I get home from up there,I need a pressure washer, I feel
like, but I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I would rather be there I mean, I like the ocean
too, but to feel peace for me tofeel the news if they're the
nearness of God, I gotta be inthe mountains.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
You know, I and I, we were talking about this, and
not that he's not everywhere.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I can hear him.
I can hear people God'severywhere.
Shut up.
Yeah, there's in the mountainsmore than he is.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
There is a special place right there between the
south fork and the middle forkand I have it tattooed on the
back on my arm.
It's where those two riversflow together down there and as
a kid that the rivers and don'tI don't know it's you got to be
up there fairly early when themelt starts, when the melt start
to get what I'm going to talkabout.
But there's a point up in therewhere the middle fork and the
(03:03):
south fork come, come bangingtogether down there and as a kid
, when we were up there fishingand stuff, I can just remember
sitting there and as I grew upand always going down there and
I can go there every time andsit there and just it just
mesmerizes me and with my backand everything I haven't been
(03:24):
able to get down there.
So we were up there camping acouple weekends ago.
My wife's going to hear thisand fucking shoot me.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
That's all right, it's already done.
You already got it done.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
So I snuck off from camp early I left about 530, and
I drove up Fence Creek thereand I knew where the road was.
It kind of went down there alittle ways and I dropped down
there and I sat there for a fewminutes and just wept, man Devin
.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Now tears, of joy tears of gratitude.
Gratitude Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
To know that I can go back and enjoy that when I was
drinking, I would look at it andit's just my happy place.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Now it's just you know the joy, Just a new meaning
.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
It's just, you know, that's still, like I said,
that's the image I have tattooedon the back of my shoulder
right here, and it's just youknow, and it's not like I said.
It's where that calamity andserenity just bang together, and
it's just you know.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
it talks about it in our book, where God enables us
to match calamity with serenity,yep.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
And I, just like I said, when I first heard that in
recovery and rehab at Mainers,I was like what the fuck are you
talking about?
How the hell do you?
I just couldn't fathom whatthey even meant by that.
And you know now, looking backand thinking about that.
You know when I learned to dothat is when my obsession went.
(04:47):
What does it?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
say it says God enables us.
It's just like the serenityprayer Right.
God, grant me Right.
Serenity, right Right.
Peace, strength, courage thatmeans those things don't emanate
within us.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Right, unless God's there.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
We can't pull up our bootstraps and just get serene.
It's an outside, it's an insidejob from.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
God, and it takes work.
Yes, it takes daily.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
It takes, surrender it takes, you know, prayer it
takes.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
You know, you guys Letting go.
Yeah, you've heard me say myHome Depot story.
Right, multiple like two orthree months when you bit that
gal's head off, yeah, and thenwent back and made two or three.
Yeah, yesterday I was.
I just built some boxes andstuff because we're getting
ready for mckenna's wedding andI was building some stuff for
her and I had to go to homedepot yesterday and the line was
(05:37):
backed up and I was standingthere and there's two lines,
there's one here I didn't doself-checkout because I had a
bunch of wood and so I'mstanding in this line and then
this line and the lady, thecashier, in my line, was like
researching some weed eater crapand the line was backed up.
But the other line just keptgoing, kept going and I'm like
what the fuck are we doing?
(05:59):
And I started to get thatlittle pissy ass because I'm in
a hurry.
Don Don't you know?
Right, right, do you know who?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
the fuck I am Don't you know how much my time is
worth.
Motherfuckers.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
I just, you know what .
I ended up having to just bitemy tongue.
And then the as that the ladyon the other side recognized
that you know, that line wasgetting long, so she started
calling us over there.
And I long.
So she started calling us overthere and I'm like, I looked at
the lady and I go why does shehave an associate?
Help that guy instead ofresearching weed eater?
Why is she staying at the dam?
I don't know.
She's new.
She sounded as frustrated asshe was, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Anyways, I bit my tongue good, and then you don't
have to do a tenth step.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
No I don't have to make amends.
I had to do myself because Iwas thinking it.
That's's all right.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah, that's all right.
We're not.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
We are not responsible for our thoughts
unless they go into action,right, it's that second thought
that kills you.
It could, it could, right.
So yeah, katie's been gone for,for I don't know how you did it
with Bonnie gone for six weeks.
I don't know how you did it.
I don't know Katie's been gonefor, since Katie's been gone for
three days and, uh, I did some.
(07:07):
I got more.
I could tell you right now Igot a shitload of work done
around this house, yeah, but I,uh, I, I just by the second day
I was wanting her home.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
But you know what I'm going to tell you what I found
out.
I didn't have appreciation formy wife, because I did, or
single mothers, or singleparents I shouldn't even say
that single parents because I,you know, I got, I go to work.
I get before o'clock, go towork.
I'd have planned the day before, uh, what I was going to do for
dinner, right, and then if Ihad something crock pot and I
leave my daughter don't take I'dhave it all set up.
(07:38):
I'd get up at three or four,whatever.
You know how early I had to getup.
The other thing prep.
I did a lot of crock pot, wecame up with a lot of good
recipes and I'd just say at sixo'clock, maybe turn it all lower
.
I'd do some of that.
But then I'd find out you gethome, if you're doing step work
for someone, or if I got ameeting or whatever commitments
I had.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
But by the time eight o'clock would roll around, son
of a bitch.
How do these people do it?
I don't know.
You know.
I mean, that's just I'm veryfortunate I don't have kids at
home, right, I just taking careof myself.
My wife would actually shoot meif she saw what I ate for the
last two days.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
You know she gets mad at me because I don't eat top
ramen and hot dogs.
I just don't eat a little hotsauce.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
You know, after my gastric bypass I don't get
hungry, right?
Yeah, I don't get hungry, right, yeah, I don't.
But the problem is is myprotein and everything else.
I just don't get it if I don'teat.
So I'll go to bed.
Sometimes I'll be like, oh shit, I need to get up and eat
something because you know, Igotta have fuel.
Baby.
Well, I just, I just forget, Idon't.
Like I said, every once in awhile I'll get a hunger pain,
(08:40):
but not very, not very often, soI'll just eat junk.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Speaking of that.
Like I said, we jason took uh,jason and kim took us to a kitty
meadows.
He was, you got to try thismeal, the steak and I was like
no kennedy oh yeah, why had theprivate dude?
It was, and I'm picky about my.
It was a really good cut ofprime rib, the soup I mean it
was.
You're gonna get that meal forthat price corn on the cob yeah,
it was really good there, I'mgoing to tell you.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
It's you know they once again.
I eat like a 10 year old.
Their chicken tenders up thereare incredible I'm getting that.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
You see the ladies just prime rib tonight.
You got it yeah well yeah it'sjust their chicken I can't do
chicken normally, when I go inthere, I eat the chicken tender
well, and bonnie said that shewas talking as she was raised
basically by a single mother.
So when my wife learned to makehamburger helper, you know her
her brother, jason, would likehey, sis, can you, can you make
(09:34):
that stuff again, can you make?
As he thought that was ahamburger helper.
So then when we got married,she couldn't cook.
I mean, she didn't, she onlyknew how to make a few things.
So I taught her and she tried.
If he was telling jason and kimthe story when she tried to
give me hamburger help and I'mlooking at it, you're really not
gonna try to feed me that shit,are you?
Hamburger don't need no fuckinghelp.
What is that?
I'm not eating that, I mean Iwas blessed my mom and dad.
They both worked, but my mom, wecooked.
(09:55):
You know I always had homecooking.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
That's the benefit of you know, dad, my, when I my
mom and dad, we had home cookinguntil I was probably eight or
nine years old, I can rememberthat and then it was just chaos
around our house because my momand dad separated and blah, blah
, blah.
And I never then, from probablyabout 10 to when I started
(10:17):
dating Katie, I was I mean, yougot.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
A fit for yourself.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Oh yeah, you ate when you can, and it was peanut
butter.
If you were lucky, you hadpeanut butter and, and you know,
some bread to put on it, or.
But when I started dating Katie, she I mean, every night her
mom would come home at sixo'clock.
Six o'clock that dinner was onthe table, right.
And it's just like when Istarted dating Katie I was 185
(10:41):
pounds, soaking wet, 185 pounds,but I'd just gotten off the
cocaine, too sweet powdersponsored by powdered
accelerants.
I just stopped doing thecocaine.
So and six foot three, 180, Iwas six, 185, I was a lot of
muscle because I just well, yeah, you're lean baby and um, and
(11:04):
it was just weird.
It was strange to me.
And you know what Katie to thisday it doesn't matter how
scatterbrained she is when shewas getting ready to fly out to
Phoenix she cooks dinner for thekids for every Wednesday night,
she cooks dinner for thegrandkids and everything to come
over, because most of the timeI'm gone on a Wednesday night,
so it's was just her way ofgetting people around the family
.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
That's what Bonnie does to me at least, because
even the kids, my kids, areolder, but I'm gone.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Yeah, she wants everybody else here when I'm
gone.
That's all right, I don't blameher.
Don't blame her.
Yeah, but she was flying outThursday morning.
She had to get up at 2.30.
And she was still going to bevery cautious.
(11:51):
I think a little bit about howI don't.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Well, I don't know where you're going to go, so you
know where I'm going to go.
I don't know how cautious I'mgoing to be and I opened up a
page in the big book that mightpertain but it might not.
It just happened open.
I started reading kind of whatyou're talking like.
Ooh, this might help us answera question.
Anyway, good you know it's whatthe hell you got.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
I'm just frustrated with one of our brothers and he
is one of our brothers, rightCause, you know, listen, I need
your help.
I can't tell you what it is.
You can never ask me about itlater and we're going to hurt
some people.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Which car are we going to take?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
That's the friendship we have with a lot of people,
right.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
We got about 27 to 32 guys, depending on the night.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
And that's what we do , because, jason, we were
sitting there to talk on thatfriendship.
Jason was, you know, we'resitting down there getting ready
to order dinner and he wastelling me because I go, Bonnie
says not to let you guys buy medinner, you don't know it was
dinner.
He says listen, you know whatyou?
He goes yeah, I helped you putyour bathroom in, but what you
did, that is a dog, you know.
And I said, anyway, you knowthat whole thing.
(12:53):
He says not, no, no, you know,that's not what you did for us
when we were over there, thatlittle piece of mine and I said.
My response was what good is itto tell people you love them if
, when the time comes to show it.
You don't.
That means, your words aremeaningless, absolutely.
Love is action the words, theaction gives the words strength.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
And I've said this a few times on here I didn't know
what love was until I got sober.
I really didn't.
I didn't either brother, Ididn't, I didn't know the true
meaning Not didn't.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I didn't know the true meaning Not a clue.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I didn't know the true meaning of love until I got
sober and walked those steps.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
That's why, when Jay told me this, larry, he said
because you hear in the rooms,we'll love you till you learn to
love yourself.
Jay said I'll never tell youthat he goes.
I'll love you till you learn tolove.
All you ever did was loveyourself.
It may have been aself-defeating, a
self-destructive kind of love,but all you ever did was care
about yourself first.
(13:50):
He said I'll love you until youlearn to love somebody else.
Because I didn't all my life.
I didn't know, I didn't know, Ididn't know how.
I had no idea.
No, but it doesn't matter, Ididn't seek either.
I sought.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Rob didn't seek either.
I saw I sought rob, you knowcorrect, and I did too for a
very long time.
Right, I married my wifebecause she was a she.
She just stole my heart, right.
But I didn't.
I just didn't have that deeplove until we didn't care about
it.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
No, we just put ourselves first.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yes, way first, way first, and it just, it just.
I didn't understand what itmeant to give to another person.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Until I got sober I didn't know for nothing in
return, no, just just to give.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
So rolling back to what I'm trying to get to, and I
have a brother that's dancingaround I got a bro.
We have a brother.
That's extremely frustrating.
I love this man, fuck I lovethe guy.
Yeah, and I would bury a bodyfor that guy.
But god bless it, man, I'd buryhim.
Yeah, at this point, right now,I'm ready to fucking bury him.
You know, I spoke to somebodyelse yesterday and we got.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
I found out something else that this well, that well,
that gentleman you talked toyou was a gentleman I sponsored,
because he called and asked myhow do I handle this?
Right, I was, I was in jujitsupractice, I was unavailable and
he handled it perfectly.
He confronted, and then here,so let me ask you this, because
I asked you well, larry, whatshould we do?
We know, you know, as, becausedo we continue to loving?
(15:18):
Well, and what does love looklike?
Love, yeah, and I can't stand.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
I can't stand no, no, no, tough love.
Yeah, there's no such thing astough love it's's just love.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Love takes many forms .
Let me read this story to you.
So this is okay.
It says this brings to mind astory about one of our friends.
While drinking, he accepted asum of money from a bitterly
hated business rival, giving himno receipt for it.
He thus used his own wrongdoingas a means of destroying the
(15:48):
reputation of another.
In fact, his rival was ruined.
He felt that he had done awrong he could not possibly make
right.
If he opened that old affair,he was afraid it would destroy
the reputation of his partner,disgrace his family and take
away his means of livelihood.
Maybe what right had he toinvolve those dependent upon him
?
How could he possibly make apublic statement exonerating his
(16:11):
rival?
After consulting with his wifeand partner, he came to the
conclusion that it was better totake those risks than to stand
before his creator guilty ofsuch ruinous slander.
He saw that he had to place theoutcome in God's hands or he
would soon drink again and hewould soon be lost.
Anyhow, he attended church forthe first time in many years.
(16:33):
After the sermon, he quietlygot up and made an explanation.
His actions were met withwidespread approval and today he
is one of the most trustedcitizens of his town.
This all happened years ago, sowhat length are we supposed to
go?
You know whether it works ornot, right, I you know, because
we know what can happen.
What he, what this personchooses to do when they drink
(16:54):
they like to get behind thewheel of a car yes, and that's
the, and my children, yourchildren, your grandchildren are
on these fucking roads morepeople than just him, and then
you know.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
If he was just sitting at home doing it, so be
it.
But he's involving other menand other people and other human
beings and other souls and it'slike, motherfucker, what are
you doing?
You've already done this once.
You've already spent time inthe prison.
Are you going to fucking do itagain?
This time you're going to killa fucking another innocent
person, not again, but kill aninnocent fucking person.
(17:28):
I mean, what right?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Where do we stand?
Well, see, this is what.
Because I was abroad and I wasfrustrated and I was talking to
another one of our brothers.
You know what, actually, uh, mywife had said, cause she
overheard the conversation whileI was talking because I had on
speaker as I was washing up.
And then, uh, I was going tocall aaron, one of our other
brothers, and I said, well, youknow, it's really not.
(17:51):
You know, I'm just gonna prayfor him, it's none of my
business.
She says mother, what's shegonna say?
Motherfucker?
She said bullshit.
Honey, my children drive onthat road.
Right, your children drive onthat road.
It's our fucking business,right?
Right, don't call this videos.
Would you tell jason out withjason ryan when we're up there,
don't you know?
She says just because sometimeslove isn't always hugs and
kisses, sometimes love's a kickin the ass absolutely I said,
(18:12):
you know, but, and that's coming, so, my wife, we've done that
too, though I know we've done?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
have we, though?
You and aaron have more than Ihave.
I have loved and loved andloved and loved.
Right, I have tried, I havespoken, I have picked up, I have
done as much as I can.
So, for me, in this situation,working with that guy, I have to
protect myself because he cango fuck himself.
But what goes back to what youwere saying.
(18:40):
What's our duty?
When do we, when do you and Iand the rest of our group tell
him to go fuck himself, get outof our get, just get the fuck
out of our group.
All together, we don't wantanything to fucking do.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Okay, now we set this book aside.
Okay, you pull the other one inthat.
This was our, our bible.
Oh yeah, yeah, what is?
the real big book what paul sayto a brother you, you, you, you,
the immoral bro is immoralbrother, but you kick him out
Right, more like excommunicatehim, because then you, you eat
pot coals on his head which isshame until they repent and come
(19:13):
back.
Or if they you know, but, buthere's the problem.
No, I shouldn't say the problem.
Ah, fuck, you know, it ain'tgonna change nothing anyway.
You know and this is whenpeople tell me that you know
what I say to them.
You might be right, it may notchange nothing, but it damn sure
won't change if you don't takeaction, right?
So me giving myself that out.
I've tried, I've tried tosponsor them.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I've tried this.
You know that's more.
You and aaron have given morethan I know.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
That's still bullshit does that mean that?
Does that mean I still, I don'tgive anymore.
I think we need to do something.
What do you?
What?
Okay, I think about five of usneed to get you?
Just go over and have a talk.
It may not change a fuckingthing, it probably won't.
He's a fucking chameleon, iswhat he is, I know, but it
probably won't.
But if we don't and this is thesame thing I told, uh, when you
know the buddy of mine thatshot himself, that's still alive
(20:00):
, we all know when I was talkingto his father, he's Rob I don't
want to push him because hemight go do it again.
I said he might, he might do itanyway, right, but at least
because I go, because he goes, Iwas not, I was not doing what
he was doing, I was.
I told my friend the fuckingtruth, right, and if he goes out
(20:22):
and does it again, all right atleast I loved him enough to
live with the regret.
Well, fuck, what if I had doneit?
Well, I don't have to live withthat regret because I did do it
right, I spoke.
So I think that's what weshould do.
And if he does go out and killsomebody, hey, at least when I
go to bed, man, I tried, I dideverything I could do to get
through to the man.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
We say this all the time he's just not done.
He's just not done, obviously.
But when we we say this all thetime, he's just not done, he's
just not done, obviously.
But when we say this all thetime is where's that?
I mean, he's had so much happen.
It's like, well, maybe he's hada fucking, he's been on the
bottom and you can't tell me hecouldn't have gotten much more
bottom.
No, I can't.
He took an elevator up out ofthat fucking pit, but the
(21:00):
fucking cable broke halfway upand that elevator fell back
fucking down.
Yeah, and it's just, he can'tget it fucking right out of the
hole.
Don't say can't, no, no, no,you're right, he won't, won't,
he won't fucking jump on thatfucking elevator and come out.
And it's just like at somepoint you keep looking down
going do this, do this, let mehelp you here.
And you give that meme where,like old farmer, digs that
(21:23):
fucking that sheep out of thehole and he fucking runs out and
jumps right back in the fuckinghole.
It's like dip shit.
Stay out of the fucking hole.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
But then okay, now we're talking about a human and
not a sheep.
Cause that sheep had done that,I had to take my 42, put it
right in his eyeball.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Maybe we should do the same and help.
God damn, I don't think you'rewrong by saying you know, maybe
we do need to get over there, Idon't know.
But it's just like you know youlove them.
I love this man.
He's got such a fucking story.
He could save some souls, myGod.
He could save some souls withhis story and he just won't help
(21:58):
himself.
Nope, and it's frustrating.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Dude, try to sponsor that shit like that, but the
only person that I've you gotmore patience than me, brother
what's my, what's my rule for?
You said don't waste my fuckingtime and I've allowed him to
waste my time three times yeah,no one's ever got to do that.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Yeah, I said no, that's wrong of me, I should, it
is and I mean I'm done now, butI shouldn't.
I shouldn't have done that thatmotherfucker, you don't fuck
yourself.
If he came back to you onfucking bending knees with an
olive branch, you would fuckingdo it.
Don't fucking flip me off,bitch.
I know your heart too well, rob, I know your heart.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
But he won't.
But yeah, I would, I know youwould.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Fuck, yeah, I would.
You know what, andunfortunately I would too.
We have big fucking hearts.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
So are we like my wife, back in, you know from, am
I an enabler now, come on, comeon.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
If that's an enabler, because Come on is it when he
stands right now?
I wouldn't.
He would have to show and Ithink you're the same way He'd
have to show something we did.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I gave him the object I know, let me finish these
three guys, which is going totake two weeks, then all going
to take two weeks, then they'reall three are done with their
steps.
And if you can stay sober,buddy, we can go right.
He couldn't stay sober two daysafter that and we haven't seen
him, as we haven't.
He hasn't been back to a mondaysince, right.
So there, I'm, there's my.
You know, I say there's my out,but if he came home bent to d
and s, I know well, because Imean, yeah, what do we have?
(23:19):
490, you know, seven times seven, 70, seven times 77, anyways, I
know 77?
, anyways, I know.
But this man here that I readtrusted God, just put it in
God's hands and said I'm goingto go do the right thing no
matter what, and leave it inGod's hands.
But wait, there's cleardirection in here what to do.
There's clear direction in ourother book what we're to do, but
(23:41):
none of us have done it yet.
Aaron's came the closest.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yeah we to do, and none of us have done it yet.
Aaron's came the closest.
Yeah, I know I was talking tohim on the way home yesterday.
I don't know I I just you knowit gets just so frustrating and
then when you see a text comethrough, it's just like I I want
to fire back.
So bad.
That's what the listeners don'tget to see.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Now, all the bullshit that we get in our group text,
all the you know, all these andthere's another text that aaron
and I are part of.
There's little text groups thathe, this, this, just another
guy we're talking about likes toput us in with certain people
from the church still the deal,and it's his way of letting
everybody know that they don'tknow what's going on.
But, right, they think, oh,he's doing great because, look,
he's sending us these gospelmessages and he's drinking as
he's doing it.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
I was a hypocrite too in my life and sometimes I
still am, but not like that,right, not like that I don't
know and I you're right, I meanit's just, and I don't want to
keep beating this dead horse andI'm no, I'm almost done with it
I want to skin it but and hangit dude it's just.
I'm frustrated with him.
I'm frustrated with him.
I'm frustrated with him beyondall I'm frustrated with anybody
(24:40):
that does this.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yes, this is him.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
There's people in the rooms those two guys the one
guy I threw out of my fuckinghouse, if he came back here
tomorrow and wanted me tosponsor him again, if he was
serious and he was like the bigbook says if he means business,
will help anybody, if they meanbusiness, and if you don't mean
business, go fuck yourself, goget finished.
It's just, you know.
And, like I said, I'm over thatand I just what the greatest
(25:04):
gift you know.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
I wish you got to meet elliot.
He lived down for me.
He was a little more, a littlebit long.
He was younger than jay.
He died of pancreatic cancerabout three years ago.
Good man, sober for years andmy when my brother, buddy larry,
my big brother, you have morethan one yeah, larry, larry g
who took me.
I know, yeah, you got, so larrygoes.
There's three men I want you tomeet.
(25:25):
There's Jay.
There's a guy named Elliot whoended up being my neighbor.
I could walk to Elliot's housein 90 seconds, which was handy,
but the first thing he said tome was shook my hand.
My name's Elliot, he says, andhe'd look.
And when Elliot would talk,he'd talk real low.
Call me before you take a drink.
I'll go to hell with you callme after you drink.
(25:46):
Call me after you drink, you cango to hell by yourself that
amen brother my name's elliotand I was like my god, I love
this guy, right because he wasfucking brutally honest and he
meant it right, and there wastimes in early sobriety, like
when I because I was going tocall jay you know what I mean
just because I would get up, Iwould walk down.
I mean about, you know, on asaturday, my heart, every time
you talk about that, I'd walkdown.
You know, on a Saturday orSunday.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
You break my heart every time you talk about that.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I'd walk down to Elliot's house and we would have
a hey last night about 2o'clock, man this and he would
say why don't you call?
I'm not calling you, I'm notgoing to do that.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
But now you've learned.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Now I've learned.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
That's why I offer that service to those
motherfuckers who need it don'tdo what rob does.
That's so funny, he's an idiot.
So yeah, katie katie sent me apicture.
So they were just in phoenixfor, uh, for my daughter's
bachelorette party and they were.
They were having a pretty goodtime, they were doing everything
that was a beautiful pictureyou sent of your I was just
getting ready said the samething.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
She sent you a little message back oh, she did.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Oh, I haven't.
I haven't looked at the.
I've been on my Instagrambecause I did that.
Anyways, you know, Katie sentthat to me.
Once again, I'm very emotionalwhen it comes to my girls right,
Three of those are my girls andI posted something on Instagram
yesterday.
You know, when I look atpictures like that, I'm just
(27:02):
like one drink away.
One drink.
One drink Could have missed itall and I still could.
Yeah.
Right and I still could, but youare so far from a drink right
now that and I am, you know, andI look at things like I was,
but you never forget and Iappreciate that, no, and it just
every time I look at it itreminds me of why I don't and
why, you know, I just spent fourdays thursday, friday, saturday
(27:26):
most of the day.
She's landed, she's on her wayhome right now and, uh, I didn't
go to a meeting, right?
I didn't go to saturday morningbecause, I mean, I busy around
the house, I had stuff gettingready and that meeting is not
till nine o'clock and you knowmy frustration with that needs
to be at 7 30.
Oh, my gosh, it's just.
You know that nine o'clockmeeting is literally you.
When you get up at five o'clockin the morning, I so much I'm
(27:49):
in the middle shit, right.
So if I start a project, I gotto stop it and then come back
and I'm not going to go back toit because now it's 1030 and
it's nap time.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
You know we should do , we should start our own seven,
seven thirty meeting at the, atthe sewing shop.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
It's just whatever.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
It's that nine o'clock is, just just it is, and
then it gets done, usually at10, 30 and then like and then
here's the other thing you and Iare getting ready to start
coaching my grandson's footballand bradson we got johnson
jonathan, we're getting ready tostart coaching that we're not
going to hit another saturdaymorning meeting for a while
we'll have one with me, you andbrad I guess in the third and
fourth graderswe'll have one with me you and
Brad, I guess, and the third andfourth graders.
(28:30):
We'll have a quick one beforewe start coaching.
Dude, I had a dream last night.
I was telling Jason and Kimabout it.
Me and Bonnie were talkingabout it, and last night you
were coaching and I don't knowwho our quarterback was.
Kane was a receiver, but ourquarterback we were doing a
rollout play and this is weird,but he kept.
He'd have the ball here, whichkept frustrating me.
It's like no, no, no.
As soon as you turn your hips,that ball's got to be by your
(28:52):
ear.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
You got to be here Up .
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Ready to you know, because he kept.
He was late on.
I don't know who it was, justlike shit, a coach in high
school varsity football.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
I'm gonna go back and coach third and fourth you know
flag football, yeah, football,you know, I, I was in my mind.
I'm thinking of all theseoffensive plays and thinking of
all these defensive plays.
I'm like larry, stop, stop,yeah, simple bud, simple right.
I have all this shit in my headand it's like stop, wait till
you get out there, like set itup for what you got.
(29:25):
So it's coming up August.
I don't know.
I need to get some details thisweek.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
She told me, vanessa told me it was August.
We have our coaches and thentowards the end of August is
when we start.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah, I got to figure that out because I got to move
some schedules around on my side.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
All I have.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Doug is.
I fly out tomorrow and I'm goneuntil Friday, and then I turn
right around.
What time do you?
Speaker 1 (29:51):
fly out tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
I don't fly out until 1 tomorrow, but then I'm home
on Friday and then on Tuesdaythe following week I'm back over
in Salinas for the entire week,so all the way through Saturday
because we have a big dinner.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Anyways, we're talking serious stuff, so I'll
get the dates.
I'll have Doug get the dates,since he nailed us into this
bullshit he needs to pay us astipend, you know what I think
he does.
He's got the money.
I think that's In-N-Out Burger,at least once a week.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Doug Douglas.
So yeah, McKenna's wedding isgetting closer and closer.
I spent all day yesterday.
She wanted these boxes built.
They're stepping stone boxeswhat?
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Go ahead, I'm going to keep these two.
There's two things I need toask you that are super important
.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Okay, go ahead.
Anyways, she wanted these boxesand I don't know if you've
bought wood lately.
No, I haven't.
These boxes end up costing $650in wood, god bless.
They're a two-foot, athree-foot and a four-foot Right
, and so they put flowers on onboth sides of the altar and
stuff when she's getting married, and it's like I tried to build
(31:01):
them as simple and easy as Ipossibly could, but it's still
$650 in freaking wood.
That's what I did Friday,saturday and Sunday.
I finished up this morning.
I finished up about.
It's funny, I was outside about6 o'clock with my stereo on and
the saws going in the garage.
You know this is going back towhat.
I couldn't do that kind ofstuff without drinking before.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Oh hell no.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
And that's just that was that's the first, before you
even get your tools ready.
Right, I'd have the jack dalesnerves first, jack daniels,
right there, calm the nervesfirst.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
All right, what are your two things?
Um, as far as about, uh,mckenna's wedding, bonnie rsvp
had already and she and she justsent a sum of money towards
their fund.
Yep, she was want to make surethat she did everything right,
so she was gonna ask katie tomake sure that she did
everything right.
So she was going to ask Katieto make sure.
I don't know, because she's notvery.
Anyway, I'll ask.
Second thing my nephew, tammy'syoungest, challen.
Well, they both drive fueltrucks back in Wyoming.
(31:58):
Okay, he's thinking of buying,you know, looking into buying
his own truck and this kind of.
And I said, well, and he'scoming out.
I think it's September, lateAugust or September.
I said, well, I'll have himtalk to Larry.
Yeah, yeah, if you could.
So we'll set it with that.
When he's getting close, I'llhave you set aside an hour.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
We'll come out and just talk to him.
Talk to him about?
Is he absolutely no, absolutelyso.
Um so we're gonna wrap this up,but I want to understand on
august 3rd, uh, which is nextsunday, yes, we're back in
studio, back in the studio andwe're gonna have paul and dr
(32:37):
barry I got a lot of uh I got, Igot a few paul had some.
They love.
Yeah, they love.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
He's got a good voice well, he's got a dude, he's got
a voice he's got a voice forradio.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
He's got a voice for this.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Like I've got a face for radio, he's got a voice for
it.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
You got a face only your mama loves.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
She died.
Yeah, so August 3rd, nextSaturday.
Well, this is going to air.
Well, this is coming Sunday.
So Dr Berry and Paul's going tobe here.
So dr barry's a doctor ofbehavioral health and paul is a
nurse.
I'm thinking he he said he hadhis nursing degree and he also
is the vice president, thesenior vice president, of
(33:15):
dignity, which is behavioralhealth.
Yeah, he's a big wig.
Yeah, he's, he's up there, butextremely intelligent oh man
extremely smart so what I wouldlike and the living experience
of one of us yes 37 eight yearsof sobriety and the program
right and so we're gonna have acouple professionals on here
we're not doctors, but the drbarry is, and paul is about as
(33:38):
smart of a person that I knowcoming to behavioral health.
So what?
I would like if our listenershave questions that they want
answered, if you got something,a topic or something you want to
be brought up during that,episode.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
this is the time to do it.
Yes, we're going to.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
you're going to have knowledge, we're going to have a
lot of knowledge in the studioand I don't care how long the
podcast goes.
We'll sit here all day long ifwe need to.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
And I'll bet you.
I'll bet you 90 to nothing.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Oh yeah you, I'll bet you 90 to nothing.
Oh, once they get, oh yeah,it's just gonna go, or no, we'll
direct, but it's just gonna.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I'm excited, you know , I'm excited for that because
she's gonna have.
I bet she'll have a lot ofquestions for oh, yeah, no and I
mean he could really help.
This is gonna be a blessing forboth.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I know I'm excited, and then our then the week, then
we're back in the studio.
We got three weeks back to backto back that we're recording.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Okay, we got then we got jim hart coming in.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I love that he's so much fun don't you fucking start
already on that guy tell youwhat, jim?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
you haven't even met me yet and you're cracking on my
.
He's making dude, I loved it.
He's making fucking short jokes.
The rain man rob still cracksme up.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Rain man rob that's so funny, but yeah, he made with
that with the shitter, whenbrad had the forklift, the
shitter on the forklift.
The Rain man Rob still cracksme up.
Rain man Rob, that's so funny,but yeah, he's.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
But he made the shitter when Brad had the
forklift.
The shitter on the forklift.
He hasn't even met me yet andmaking short jokes, I love it.
Jim, you're right, his ass is.
We got a jujitsu match rightthere with a retired fireman.
That's funny.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
My son-in-law, so he's going to be here.
He flies in on Friday, so he'sgoing to be with us Friday,
saturday, sunday and Monday he'sgoing to go to our meeting with
us.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
We'll hit some meetings then.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Yep, so he'll be there, and then the following
weekend.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
We're going to take him to primary on a Friday.
Yes, sir.
Okay, maybe take him to dinnertoo.
Ask, pay for it, fireman,fireman, fireman he better be
six foot or better.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
I don't hear shit from him and then, uh, then,
socal, socal cat's gonna be uphere, so okay, by that time we
better get some damn cameras.
Oh yeah, you know, we shouldhave cameras for dr barry,
because she's very I ain't gonnahave it ready that fast, but
you know um so I'm excited, forwe got some good ones coming up,
(35:49):
some really good ones.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
So next one's going to be we got one, the one we're
doing today, yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
We got a good one today, which this next week
you're going to hear.
It's Sean.
Sean.
I'll let him talk how he wantsto talk or introduce himself,
but Sean's got 10 years ofsobriety, Doesn't not involved
in any program, just doing it.
So we're going to figure outhow that's working out for him.
He's got a hell of a story.
(36:15):
I've had some time to talk tohim and I can't wait to hear
from him.
So let's you and I get out ofhere.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Thanks, rob, I need you out.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Oh shit, wait, Seth, that's a good one though.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Yeah, that's my favorite one.
Hey, you know.
Hey, I'm that guy, I know youare, and I got a disposal system
.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
I won't tell no one what it is, but I've got it.
Thank you for joining us today.
I've tested it For bones If youdo not come back next week and
we'll try again heard kiss my.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
You can't say that, can you?
Anyway, if you don't like whatyou heard, go ahead and tell us
that too.
We'll see what we can improve.
We probably won't changenothing, but do it anyway hey,
thanks, rob.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Come back next week and hopefully something will be
different and something willsink in.
This has been recovery,unfiltered.
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