January 25, 2023 • 56 mins
Only 11 months until Christmas!
Kristie is a 6. Jeff is a 2.
Nailed it. That's all we can say.
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Enneagram (plural) Enneagrams : a system of classifying personality types that is based on a nine-pointed starlike figure inscribed within a circle in which each of the nine points represents a personality type and its psychological motivations (such as the need to be right or helpful) influencing a person's emotions, attitudes, and behavior.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jeffery Redding (00:26):
Hi, what's up?
How you doing today?
Kristie Greenberg (00:28):
Good. How are you today?
Jeffery Redding (00:30):
Good, good, good. Good.
Kristie Greenberg (00:33):
Not like we didn't just talk for 15 minutes
before you hit record,
Jeffery Redding (00:36):
but still we live now. So we got to say how
are you doing today?
Kristie Greenberg (00:39):
I know you say it louder
Jeffery Redding (00:43):
Yeah, thanks.
So we are assuming today again?
Kristie Greenberg (00:48):
No DOM
Jeffery Redding (00:51):
Tis the season to be zoom and Allah Allah Allah
Allah.
Kristie Greenberg (00:54):
Oh, it isn't and it's not Christmas. Don't
sing flashbacks.
Jeffery Redding (00:57):
Oh, listen, every day is Christmas.
Kristie Greenberg (01:01):
Listen, speaking of Christmas, what
happened? I went little clip.
This is not a pipe plug. This isjust fact. I went to cost plus
no world market in Virginia wascalled Cost Plus world market.
Okay. That's why I say that allthe time. But I went to rural
market here in kindergarten onSaturday with my beautiful
daughter Bella. And theirChristmas stuff was 90% off. I
(01:24):
save 680 Or no $767.
Jeffery Redding (01:33):
And I spent you spent eight hours?
Kristie Greenberg (01:36):
Yes. And I save 760 Sam. I got $25
stockings. Six of them for$2.50. Hmm. I know. Like, my
chest was hurting. I'm soexcited. I got it's called a
Nordic tree. But I actuallythought that it was a displace
thing. Yes, I really did. Butit's like Talan wooden, and it
(01:59):
has little pieces coming outlike this. I'm showing him on
the Zoom. With little likefinger things that stick up like
this. Yeah. And you hangornaments on it. And I have all
these Starbucks ornaments, andI'm gonna use that for my
kitchen Christmas tree. Excited.
I was very excited about thiswhole thing.
Jeffery Redding (02:18):
For you, baby.
Kristie Greenberg (02:19):
Thanks, Amy.
Yay, Christmas.
Jeffery Redding (02:23):
I'm glad you get your stuff the
Kristie Greenberg (02:26):
I'm not done.
Jeffery Redding (02:28):
I know. I'd say that just so you can see what I
was gonna say.
Kristie Greenberg (02:32):
I'm not done.
Oh, I'm probably done withChristmas at 90% off in January.
But anyway. Oh, Mercedes has abig ol yawn. Jeffrey. I know.
They're walking around.
Jeffery Redding (02:45):
Listen. Well, that's fine, too. That is fine,
too. But that's okay.
Kristie Greenberg (02:51):
That it makes your job pop and it hurts.
Never. Oh, I have that sucker ata job. Can you imagine?
Jeffery Redding (03:02):
Yes, I could actually is I can't imagine.
Kristie Greenberg (03:05):
So will happen for you. Anything good
this week?
Jeffery Redding (03:09):
Oh, no. Didn't think I'm trying to remember.
Oh. Shout out. We went to Clegg.
This party.
Kristie Greenberg (03:16):
Oh, yeah.
Happy birthday. Happy
Jeffery Redding (03:18):
50th birthday.
It was a fantastic party was sojust happy for them. And shout
out to Mike. You know, and soAnd shout out you know, it was a
packed party. And so, as I sayclay Have you ever doubt it? You
are loved by so many playingcliff and it's so well deserved.
(03:41):
It was a great
Kristie Greenberg (03:44):
article. I realized when I'm old. Okay. I
got like, you know, the next daywhen you get up you're like, oh,
did I take my pill? I guessChrissy you just can't drop it.
Drop it low. No,
Jeffery Redding (04:00):
we danced
Kristie Greenberg (04:02):
I can do it.
I just pay for it. The next day.
Jeffery Redding (04:04):
You can do it and you can dance yo but I lose
dance. And it was we had fun.
Yeah. But boy, we paid for it.
The next night we paid for thenext day. My goodness. My hips
Kristie Greenberg (04:15):
was hurt. My
Jeffery Redding (04:18):
knees loosened up. I was taking my body don't
jiggle jiggle.
Kristie Greenberg (04:25):
Every time I used to like fold us where I
want to start just like droppingat the waist start now.
Jeffery Redding (04:32):
Obviously, just like me, and pho
Kristie Greenberg (04:39):
is beautiful.
It was like some it was at Epcotboardwalk, which
Jeffery Redding (04:43):
was really nice.
Kristie Greenberg (04:44):
Did you know it was a thing? No. I know it
was a thing either. And we livehere and we're like Disney
people. I didn't even know thisexisted. And it was like some
club.
Jeffery Redding (04:56):
But it was nice. Cuz I'd never been in
there. Okay, Hey,
Kristie Greenberg (05:00):
there's all shops and like hotels, but you
go dance beach. Yeah. Yeah, itwas cool. I like that place. And
then we went to Animal Kingdomand walked around on Sunday.
Jeffery Redding (05:11):
And that was, yeah, no, you haven't done that
in a minute. And it was justgood to just not have anything
and just kind of be normal. Youknow, just go out there and kind
of do what we do, even if it'sto shop or eat something that
was, you know, just kind ofgood.
Kristie Greenberg (05:30):
Yeah, that was good. And that night, I went
to bed at like, eight o'clock.
Jeffery Redding (05:40):
Oh, my goodness. I
Kristie Greenberg (05:42):
also ordered groceries this week. And I
cleaned the refrigerator, andthe freezer like not only threw
away old things. Oh, youwouldn't was disgusting, though.
I found a container shoved inthe back of the refrigerator.
That was gravy fromThanksgiving.
Jeffery Redding (06:00):
Oh, man, I can't believe you sit on the
podcast. But that
Kristie Greenberg (06:05):
digs in the way back? Not me. When I saw it,
I was like, I don't know.
Jeffery Redding (06:13):
Why. Oh, new basketball.
Kristie Greenberg (06:18):
I mean, it's kind of gross.
Jeffery Redding (06:22):
Fine. Yeah, well, not. That would not have
been good.
Kristie Greenberg (06:28):
But I got that done. So I've thought about
that, too.
Jeffery Redding (06:30):
Yeah. But yeah, I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad
you get that done. So you canrest about that. So check it off
your list. So yay. So what arewe gonna talk about today? This
is gonna be a good one. Oh, lastweek. Let's talk about the
podcast from last week. Briefly.
Wonderful questions for thisweek, actually, but it was neat
(06:53):
to see how many people took thattest. And just different
responses we got back from that,you know, most of you agree with
this. Some of you didn't agreewith some of it, you know, and
it was it was just neat, just tokind of go through that process
with everyone. You know, it wasfunny, even on my church test a
willow, we had a meeting and wekind of took the ticket test.
(07:18):
Just like that, you know, likethat better that test. And it
was it was nice to even hear howdifferent people are, what level
that they fit in. Even from thataround. So it's really good.
It's really good. It's sort oflook at it. See where you are in
your life process. It agreedisagree? You know, working it
(07:40):
grows really was cool.
Kristie Greenberg (07:44):
Yeah, I mean, I think well, I've seen a lot of
this, personally, where peopleare not on me, but like in
banter back and forth. socialmedias. Yeah, thanks. Where
people are like, Oh, my God, Inever would have thought this
person like that you would bethis? Right? Guys? It didn't
(08:09):
work that way. It doesn't,you're not going to necessarily
know what another person is?
Yeah. Like, people presentthemselves with shields all the
time.
Jeffery Redding (08:23):
Or they don't.
And you might just have blinderson?
Kristie Greenberg (08:27):
Well, not but I mean, like, oftentimes, many
people do. That's what I'msaying. I agree with you. I
agree with you. If there's likefor me, like being a six. I know
that I'm pretty openly a six.
But one of the things aboutsixes is that they're very
friendly. Right? I am veryfriendly. selectively. Yeah.
(08:47):
There are people who mightdisagree with my friendliness.
But there are times that I getput in social situations or
places where, if I already knowI don't want to associate with
the company, you're gonna see awall, and I will just be hyper
focused and vigilant and trylike, you know, do the thing of
like, I don't need any morefriends. Yeah, I got enough. I'm
(09:08):
good. Thanks. So you got to takethat into consideration. It
could be if someone doesn't seemlike what you think they are, it
could be that they are not thatto you. That doesn't mean it's
not what they are as a whole.
Jeffery Redding (09:27):
And that's okay to also. Yes,
Kristie Greenberg (09:29):
I mean, I don't people be assumptive and
then argue with people on socialmedia Shut up. Yeah. Don't ever
do that. Like no one needs youropinion. They took a test and
said what their number was, theydon't need to
Jeffery Redding (09:41):
argue with you on social media, or argue
anonymously.
Kristie Greenberg (09:48):
I mean, I never had one anonymously
Jeffery Redding (09:50):
Lizza you'd never get my test dummy. I never
even look at that kind of stuff.
Kristie Greenberg (09:54):
Well, let me you know what I have learned to
do. What I should say I canremember that. frickin fake
nine. I don't remember it. Butlike, when you create a fake
profile, and you want to berude, like it's so dumb. Like,
first of all, I know you'reobsessed with me. I know you're
(10:18):
thinking, you've literally wentthrough the effort to create a
fake profile to try to make acomment, or a statement to hurt
my feelings. People not manypeople can hurt my feelings and
I promise you your fake profileon Facebook makes me laugh.
(10:42):
Like, man, I never gonna happen,but and then when people create
like profiles to argue withother people, okay, keyboard
warrior, like just say it.
Jeffery Redding (10:53):
Just say
Kristie Greenberg (10:56):
anyway. Yeah, I don't. There's my TED talk for
today.
Jeffery Redding (11:00):
Yeah, that's tough. I don't participate in
nor do I really?
Kristie Greenberg (11:04):
There's a button that says block. Like,
honestly, you don't think I'mgonna hit it? Come on. Like,
create another fake profile justso you can look at me. Go ahead
this is literally Why are you soobsessed with me? Honestly.
Jeffery Redding (11:25):
Stop it. This is green, red and green. Green,
green, green green.
Kristie Greenberg (11:31):
This is where people say she's friendly. I'm
friendly when you're not crazy.
Anyway,
Jeffery Redding (11:41):
but now so it doesn't always the thing the
test doesn't always line up butit show it puts you in a
position where you just gottareflect and so on and so forth.
Kristie Greenberg (11:52):
Well, my opinion is this I think it lines
up. I do but mine almost hurt myfeelings. Right? Because it was
so spot on. But at the same timefor you to have an accurate
test. You got to tell the truth.
Yep. Yes. And you got to answerquestions answer don't have
nobody calling out to you answerquestions, sitting myself in a
(12:12):
dark room. And then be like whatam I really gonna say I had to
do that with myself. Yeah,here's the answers I wanted to
answer one way for them like abig fat liar face. And then when
you answer though, the right wayI literally got spot on. And
then there's some things that Imight not do to the enth degree.
But I probably still do it. Likesome aspects of the
(12:38):
characteristics might weighheavier one way and lighter on
some but all of them are thatmakes on an anxiety riddled
mess. Who's friendly and a loveyou to the end. Wow.
Jeffery Redding (12:56):
So that being said, we have some questions
today what we're going to talkabout is basically more so that
test but from the standpoint ofthat the questions that we
receive, but we're going toanswer him from verses a six and
a two. And so it'd beinteresting to hear how we
(13:17):
because we're so different butin some ways so similar you
know, I'm saying and how will wehow do we answer that now
wherever six answers the samethe question sandwich Nope. will
ever to answer it No, because weare a product of our experiences
also. So therefore sometimes itwill be a little different.
(13:39):
That's why when I took the testI agree with so many of us some
of it I didn't agree with someof it I'm not there yet and it
may be right or maybe wrong isjust you know because we are a
proud of about differentexperiences, but it was a great
test. And so like Okay, here wego. So, you want to go from my
quote questions first. You wantto read momentary you read? I
(14:03):
don't want to read okay.
Kristie Greenberg (14:06):
I don't have my glasses on.
Jeffery Redding (14:08):
Is that how do you deal with feeling lost from
a number six? How do you dealwith feeling lost?
Kristie Greenberg (14:17):
Lost? Yeah. I live in a constant. I don't I
don't want to I don't ever Idon't know what you mean by loss
to be fair to analyzing
Jeffery Redding (14:32):
how do you Okay, when you've lost
emotionally, not not knowingwhere to go? Just how do you
handle you know, just feelinglost?
Kristie Greenberg (14:44):
I can't say that I what I think of let me
let me be fair when I say this,what I think of when somebody
says that they feel lost. Idon't think I have ever felt.
Okay, be honest. I don't thinkI've ever felt that way. But I
could be wrong and Like, anxietycould be someone feeling lost,
or I guess it depends on thedefinition of the word. But like
(15:06):
for true loss, like, I don'tknow what to do. I never know
what to do. I always am livingin a state of I don't know what
to do if this happens, that'sthe thing. I live in a state of,
what do I do if this happens? SoI'm always planning for the
worst. Gotcha. And I always livein a constant state of anxiety.
(15:27):
Okay. And
Jeffery Redding (15:31):
but is that a number six? Or is that just you?
So number six lives in the stateof anxiety? Yeah. Okay.
Kristie Greenberg (15:39):
My number one need, you know, this, like, you
know, this, you might not say itin a constant state of anxiety,
like you might not
Jeffery Redding (15:45):
you because I don't see you in a constant
state of anxiety at all. But youknow,
Kristie Greenberg (15:51):
what I'm saying is this too, though, when
your definition of living in aconstant state of anxiety, you
might think somebody's going,Oh, my car hoga
Jeffery Redding (15:58):
overalls you do? Yeah, yeah.
Kristie Greenberg (16:01):
But I do this. Let me give you a perfect
example. Do you want to go toJeff, okay. I'm going to speak
with you. Hey, you want to go toAnimal Kingdom on Sunday? What's
the weather supposed to be?
That's what I say? Uh, huh. Yep.
Like 71. Do you think that'll becold or hot? And do you think
it's going to rain because ifit's raining, I don't want to
go, right? If it's raining, thenwe'll just figure it out. I
(16:24):
don't want to go if it's goingto rain, because I don't like
it. When the bottom my pants getwet. Right. So I really need to
plan for the worst casescenario. It's raining, I'm
going to take the rain suit thatwe bought for when it rains. So
I want to go so I bought rainsuits, right? To pack in a
Disney bag. Because you like togo to Disney. Think this is the
(16:48):
way we solve this. This is agreat example of a two and a six
the way we solve this problem,right? You want to go? Like I
want to go and I want to havefun and I want to and then
there's me. I can go and havefun. I'm going to be stressed in
my mind. And it's not stress,like crippling anxiety. You know
(17:08):
what I mean? Right? Right? Butit's like an uneasiness to work
and take some of your joy. If Idon't know what I'm going to do.
So I can pack this frickin uglyoutfit. And bring it with me.
And it solves the problem. Yeah,to plan for the next thing. So I
would have to say that if I'mlost, I plan if I feel lost, I
(17:30):
plan and I verbalize to you,like take your person. If you
feel lost and say I feel lost.
Let them probe you like what doyou feel lost about? How are you
feeling? You do that reallywell. Like to help me when I'm
nervous or stressed? You can youcan question me into being
(17:53):
rational.
Jeffery Redding (17:56):
Gotcha. For two, I don't I'm totally upset.
I don't feel that way. I justdon't have when I when I feel
lost. The times I have felt lostmy anxiety goes out the window.
And how do I kind of cope withit? I get quiet. And I just try
(18:19):
to think of I tried to talkmyself off a ledge you know, I'm
saying it's gonna be okay, thisis fine. This too shall pass
Monday will become Tuesday,Tuesday become Wednesday,
whatever is gonna happen isgonna be over and eventually
gonna get better. And I have toconstantly talk to myself. That
right there and I've become ayou know, this, I've become
(18:40):
extremely focused. Extremely. Iblock everything out. And you've
seen that, you know, so where,like, if I'm anxiety, if I go to
performance now and if I feellost about something, how
there's two things I realizedthe only two things I can do in
this world truly, well, morethan two. But in this situation
(19:03):
right here for my anxiety. Idon't think two only two things
I can control is my preparationand my response to people I can
control how prepared I am forsomething in terms of when we
talk about music and I'm sayingand my response to people are
you measured Have you thoughtthis through Have you have you
(19:24):
have you and oftentimes in termsof anxiety that kind of comes my
stepdad because what it does isthere I relinquish control of
everything else. And oftentimesanxiety can be based in control
but you know, wanting to be incontrol, controlling the
environment and knowing you wantto control everything around
(19:44):
you. And sometimes you just onlycontrol what can you control
your outfit. Pack your outfit.
pack an umbrella, or or a volike umbrella. I would call it a
rain jacket and keep it going.
You know? So how do you dealwith feeling lost you deal with
(20:05):
feeling lost by planning forevery situation. I plan with, I
deal with feeling lost by tryingto live in the moment and trying
to calm myself down to get pastthat section before I move on to
something else.
Kristie Greenberg (20:18):
One thing I'll say, though, about anytime
that you are nervous, and thisis, I don't even know who I was.
Tell him the other day. I wastalking about you. And it's
like, one of the worst things tosay about somebody. And I mean,
no disrespect when I say this,you know, the whole serpent
thing? Yeah, that used to bewhen I would hear you talk. And
(20:41):
I didn't know you. Right? Youknow, but I heard you speak and
you're like, you talked aboutserving people. I swear, this
makes me sound either. I'm aterrible person. I don't know. I
still am coming to grips withit. I literally thought you're
full of crap. Right? You talkand inwardly, my inner eyes
would roll then whatever. UntilI got to know you like this. You
(21:08):
focus on everybody else whenthings are bothering you. Yeah,
focus on everybody else most ofthe time. But I feel like you do
it more. When things bother you.
Like, you turn things outward.
Like, like, kind of forget yourown self and your own stress and
(21:31):
turn, like okay, well, I can'tdo anything about this right
now. These are the two things Ican do. So I'll do all of this
in the process, and you turnsomething ugly into something
pretty.
Jeffery Redding (21:43):
Well, I agree with you, though. The limits?
Kristie Greenberg (21:48):
I'm awesome.
I do agree.
Jeffery Redding (21:50):
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that wasn't me. Yeah, in
terms of. But there's a phonenumber too. There's, that's a
double edged sword because thatis true. In terms of you focus
on other phones, but otherpeople can hurt you. And if
you're tender hearted, orsensitive, it can take it can
knock you down. And then on topof that, what ends up happening
(22:13):
is you've been neglectingyourself and your needs. So
you've done two things. You'vehurt yourself twice. You have
Oguzhan everybody. And thenyou're hurt from that and then
you've hurt yourself because youhaven't done your own self care.
So you know, it can be a doubleedged sword. So just be careful
(22:35):
that when you feel let's go tothe next one. Okay, from the two
to six. Oh, okay. That wassaying one. Okay. Getting lost
in lifehave you ever thought about
writing a book?
Kristie Greenberg (22:59):
Yes, I have.
Yes, I have and a half.
Jeffery Redding (23:02):
Okay. Number six, talk about it, please.
Kristie Greenberg (23:06):
I don't know if I can answer it from a number
six. Exactly. And just that,yes. But you know, a lot of
people think that they know me.
And like not to make it likeEminem and give me an eight mile
(23:27):
story. But at my age and whatI've been through. It's, there's
times I look back and think thatmust have happened to someone
else. Yeah. Like, no, no, Idon't understand how I made it.
Right. Like, I've had someserious illness going on in my
(23:50):
life as an adult. Yeah. Then asingle mom of three kids lost a
husband have moved to have donelike, things to me and somebody
else told me they were going todo it, I'd have anxiety. And I
don't know how I did it. Right.
But I do know how I felt. And Iwant people to know how I feel
(24:16):
now. How I felt then, like feelfelt found almost. And I wish
everybody my life is notperfect. And I have stress. But
I wish that everybody could feelthe pure joy that I really have.
First of all, I'm so thankfulfor God, like give Him all the
(24:40):
glory and everything that we dolike this podcast and everything
else like I'm so grateful forwithout him. I don't know how
I've got through anything, but Idon't even feel like I can't
describe it. And so to write abook, I've written it and
there's a whole lot that I haveto cut out because I have a hard
(25:04):
time writing something. And notbeing completely honest and
open. Right. But my life hasinvolved other people's lives.
Yeah. Right. And that does notgive me permission to tell
everything about them. Right,exactly. So I struggle with
that. But boy, you want a bookwritten, give me a topic I can
do in a week. Like I can notchapters out. But
Jeffery Redding (25:30):
you know, for me, am I gonna write a book?
Yes, definitely. Um, of course,hopefully, it's gonna be
something that's, I want toinspire others, because that's
just who I you know, that's whoI am in my horoscope, you know,
in my heart, you know, and, butI also want to, I want to give
(25:51):
honor for all those shoulders,who I stand on. But also I want
to inspire educators, musiceducators, but I also want to
inspire people who are not evenin music. Just people, you know,
from my ups from my downs. insand outs, so I will be writing
(26:13):
the book. Definitely.
Definitely.
Kristie Greenberg (26:18):
You think I'll have it
Jeffery Redding (26:21):
neither one of us will be tired of going to a
whole flow of purposes, nor thatkind of good stuff. But um,
yeah, so from that standpoint,it's just like, you know, yeah,
I want to do that. The otherquestion I have, okay. Where do
you get your suits? Joseph Abanks. Shout out to Charles with
(26:42):
a bank's asking me that too.
Well? Where do you get your
Kristie Greenberg (26:50):
money? I got my suit. Yeah, I wore suit.
FMEA. Remember? Yeah, it wasplaid with a Rolling Stones t
shirt? Yes, black leather tennisshoes. It was a cute outfit. I
got that suit from the goodwill.
For 499 on new with tags. Thankyou, TV. And Tyler.
Jeffery Redding (27:14):
Does life ever slow down for you? I feel like I
feel like I'm always workingtowards worrying about the next
thing. And it's just keepsgoing. How do I not just stress
constantly over everything? Howdo I keep from burning out?
Kristie Greenberg (27:35):
I don't know.
Jeffery Redding (27:37):
Everything this person is does my life ever slow
down? No. They're there aremoments I should say yes, then
yes, there are snapshots inwhich they do slow down. Working
towards worrying about the nextthing. One thing that personally
as a number two that I've thatI've been working on, is not so
(28:02):
much working towards the nextthing. But enjoying the space
that I am in the moment is like,I know the next thing is coming.
But if I looked so far ahead tothe next thing. Well, I'll miss
what's happening today. I didnot. So like the podcast is my
(28:24):
thing today. So me. So in thismoment, I am totally locked in
on the podcast, when I'm offthis podcast, then I gotta
prepare for concerts or classesor whatever else that because my
head and then I try my best tofocus on that. And enjoy that
moment. I wasn't I was neverlike that. It was always the
(28:46):
next thing. And the older that Ihave become the one that I've
been trying to work on as Jeff.
And sure the moment enjoy themoment and you know, and I've
had professionals who kind oftalk to me about that. And I you
know, as a young student is upand coming conductor and teacher
you don't always think aboutthat. You know, and it's like,
(29:07):
I'm just at a different place inmy life. And which I just want
to enjoy the moments. I'mthankful for the Korea I'm
thankful for all that hashappened, but I also want to
enjoy it. You know? So that wasthat's for me.
Kristie Greenberg (29:35):
So for me, I think that living in the UK I'm
pretty good at living in themoment. But it just depends
exactly what it is like. I'mstill kind of a chicken on some
things and I like to plan thingsout. But to me that can be
living in the moment by planningthings out because I feel very
(29:57):
empowered by it. I have Have Iset goals on everything and
measurable goals? Okay, so Ilike the feeling. I don't like
the feeling of ending. Okay,like, Does it ever slow down? I
don't ever feel fast or slow,huh? Okay, like in your candle
(30:21):
out season, it was a lot ofdifferent things on different
days, right. But I also knew,like it ends on this date and
then on this date is this. Andthen there's this and then
there's this. And so like Ialways know what's coming in
plan because I like to have acalendar and to be organized.
And but you know, I think it'simportant to live in a state of
(30:45):
gratitude at all times. Ifyou're feeling overwhelmed, like
if you're at work, and you feelcompletely stressed out, and
there's times that like at work,I feel mega stressed. But it's
to even in those moments, I lovemy job. I love my bosses, right?
I'm very blessed in myprofessional life. But the
(31:11):
school stresses me out. But whoin the world gets to go back to
school at my age single mom,three kids, and here I am. But
they killed it. Like, I'mgrateful that I've got the
capability to do so. I have agreat home. I'm so thankful for
it, like, so when I feel like atthe same time, take a moment and
(31:36):
like just say, Okay, I'mthankful for this. I'm thankful
for this. I'm thankful for this.
And of all the things you'rethankful for, maybe even send
like a thank you text to thepeople that helped you get
there. Yeah. You know, thatalways seems. So you don't feel
like everything's so busy, whenyou're busy, and you don't feel
like things are slowing down. Isee it as a positive, if you can
(31:59):
spin it in your mind to bepositive, right? Rather than a
negative thing, right? Becauseyou have so many opportunities
when you're busy. True. Whetherit be an opportunity to
friendship, or a job or to singor to dance, or to go to school,
or to visit with family or allthese things, right. Like I got
(32:20):
totally stressed during gamelast season. Why? Because I had
to work and I had to go tocandlelight. And I had school
and I had kids and I had but youhad a job at candlelight. Yeah,
that's great. I'm so gratefulyou had that. My kids had
school. I'm so proud of them forschool and all the different
performances that I had to dofor them. My job, praise the
Lord, I have a job. Right rightnow grateful for you know what I
(32:42):
mean? So like, there you go.
That's what
Jeffery Redding (32:48):
I do. You gotta keep going. And you forget, and
you're so good at that you're sogood at reminding yourself. I'm
thankful for this. I'm thankfulfor this, you know, it could
Kristie Greenberg (32:59):
not have gritted teeth.
Jeffery Redding (33:02):
Burrito, grilled cheese. Maria, you know,
and the final question basicallyis, and you know, if you notice
this, it goes from a two to asix, but then some of it is just
now two or six at all. It's justyour lab experience, you know?
So, so the final question thatwe get for the day, and we got a
few questions, so we can ask, asyou know, answer some as we go
(33:26):
on in other podcasts. How doyou? How do you not just stress
constantly over everything? Howdo I keep and then how do I keep
from burning out? And I think wetalked about how do you just not
just trust constantly overeverything. I do stress
constantly over everything.
Yeah, but you also talked aboutyou plan.
Kristie Greenberg (33:50):
I do plan and here's the thing that was
planning and being the way I am.
You have to become a person ifyou have anxiety to realize, not
only do I have anxiety, I haveintrusive thoughts, which are
two totally separate things. Anda lot of people don't understand
what that is, but like myintrusive thoughts or things
like this. I could have my frontbond open. Have it open every
(34:14):
day for six years. And one daylook at it and I thought my head
would be I wonder if there's asnapper in the neighbor's
backyard and they could shoot mesquare in the head
Jeffery Redding (34:27):
low. I don't
Kristie Greenberg (34:28):
know where that came from.
Jeffery Redding (34:30):
Right? Well, no, I thought it well. He was in
the Air Force. And
Kristie Greenberg (34:35):
it's just that's who I am as a person. I
will think like I will have youcan't not call me on your way
home without you being squishedby a Mack truck. Like there's
things in my head that areirrational, destructive
(34:55):
thoughts, and I know right,intrusive thoughts, I should say
and And so one you have to learnto realize that and then tell
your people. Yeah. Becausealthough Yeah, it could happen.
Statistically it won't. And youprobably know that too. Yeah.
But don't live with it byyourself. Like, that helps me.
(35:18):
And like, How many times have Itold you about, like, my fears
of future? Oh, yeah. But, and ithelps telling you, because in
that moment, where he is one whodoesn't, he might stress but he
you don't stress nothing like Idon't know, the stress, but not
over the things are stressedabout. Right. You know, like,
(35:40):
I'm thinking like, when we are78 years old? What if the stock
market crashes, every piece ofretirement money is gone, and
you fall and break your leg? Andwe can't afford a wheelchair
lift? And we live in a secondfloor?
Jeffery Redding (35:59):
Oh, my gosh, I don't even want to listen. I'm
not going to set that brain.
Kristie Greenberg (36:04):
Oh, you've dove in it? You know how it can
be run
Jeffery Redding (36:07):
out of that thing? Oh,
Kristie Greenberg (36:08):
no. Don't like why are you talking a big
game on a podcast? Listen, thisis what
Jeffery Redding (36:17):
gives me pause.
Number one, number one, we areliterally talking about what you
just not say it does. And that'sit. That's a whole lot of crazy
stuff. No, I'm not dealing withthat one. But then, how do I
keep from burning out? You know,that's a hard one for me. And,
and that's what I struggle with?
(36:38):
You know, it's because I lovewhat I do so much. It's, you
know, is that was difficult,because I don't feel it, this
one here. I don't feel burnedout. But I'm trying to get
(36:59):
better at how much I do or don'tdo, because I don't want my work
to suffer the level that you cando things. So sometimes it's
best to do less great than moremediocre, if that makes sense to
you. And so that's another onething. So the other thing for me
(37:20):
is that that's why I love whenwe go to this new URL or
something, you know, becausethen I can relax my brain a
little bit understand knowingthat the intrusive thoughts will
still come tap dancing across myforehead. You know, but I'm able
to do something else besidesmusic. You know? And I think
(37:47):
that's I think that's important.
So I try to take these pocketsof breaks, and which I don't do
that stuff where I don't burnout. And then next year, I try
to figure Okay, well, we canbecome more efficient with my
time, or don't do so much orwhatever like that. So it's a
constant battle. Well, whatabout for you?
Kristie Greenberg (38:07):
Well, I'm gonna finish the first part,
what I was saying first,
Jeffery Redding (38:10):
with, I'm sorry,
Kristie Greenberg (38:12):
with the things of like, with what I
think about. I'm not gonna letyourself deprecate and say that
you would run from it, becauseyou don't. You don't. When I
have problems or issues, and Ithink of scary things of way far
off. You've never been rude orhateful about it. You've never
(38:33):
No, no, I wasn't. Yeah, you'venever said I don't want to jump
into that mind.
Jeffery Redding (38:39):
Oh, wait, no, no, no. Yeah, no, no, never.
Never. Never. Yeah.
Kristie Greenberg (38:43):
And if somebody has that, don't ever
say that. Like, I'm correctingthat. Because you mean it is
funny. But somebody else couldsay to somebody, you know what I
mean? Like, Ooh, okay. That'swhat I'm gonna say. I ain't
jumping into that. You don'twant to tell somebody?
Jeffery Redding (38:59):
No, I was just being silly. For the party. No,
no, no, no. Yeah.
Kristie Greenberg (39:02):
Oh, no, you.
It's, I think, to where he mighttell me it's crazy, like long
story. You know what I mean?
Like, but he never says it root.
And find somebody that can tellyou that your irrational
failures or your irrationalfears are irrational and really
solve them in a way of like, youknow, I told you I don't even
(39:33):
know at one point, like theOrlando housing market has me
completely stressed out becauselike, rents are skyrocketing and
right. They're skyrocketing andinterest rates not 10% And what
if I get to where I can't afforda house? Yeah, literally, that's
I know I'll have a house right.
(39:57):
But but at 1130 At night, somedays, I'm sure that I'm going to
live on Saturday up to thebridge. She's and but anytime I
tell you this, you start talkingto her steps. Well, you have
this, listen, this is what youcould do and this is this and
(40:19):
this. And then would you ever behomeless? As long as I've got a
mommy and daddy, as long as Iknow you, you would never let me
be homeless, I would never letyou be homeless Michelle. You
know, like, you can do that rollcall of like, you'll never be
homeless for the people thatlove you around you. You'll
never be homeless of this. Butthings insecurity. Again, top
(40:40):
six, right?
Jeffery Redding (40:42):
Yeah, and the thing about it, tackle that one
thing you gotta understand isthat is oftentimes this part,
this kind of goes right into it,we often talk about our
feelings, facts, you know, I'msaying, you know, are your
feelings reality? Yes. Yourfeelings are real. Are your
feelings real? Absolutely. Thequestion is not are the feelings
(41:04):
are real. The question to otherfacts, you know, real so? Hum,
yeah, so we deal in twodifferent things. So no, never
going to never diminishsomeone's feelings, because of
they feel that way. That's theirreality. And therefore, you
honor you respect that. Thequestion is, Does that fact line
(41:25):
up because oftentimes amisinterpretation or a fact
that's not necessarily ruling,whatever could then lead to your
real emotion. So what do you doyou handle what the facts are,
which then will inform theemotion, so that that's why we
kind of tone when you go throughthis. So now let's talk about I
(41:47):
see how you feel, and I respectit. But let's talk about this,
you know, that it will happenbecause this, this, this and
this, and this and this. So Ijust spit facts to you to let
that then let to inform youremotion. And then hopefully let
you get past it. You know, I'msaying
Kristie Greenberg (42:03):
at the same time, you mismatch my energy.
People talk all the time aboutmatching energy, and it's
important to match someone'senergy. No, I disagree,
especially in a high levelstress situation, right? If I'm
here, you almost becomemonotone. And
Jeffery Redding (42:23):
if you're here, meaning if you're high stress,
yeah. Oh, they can't see me. Iforget that
Kristie Greenberg (42:27):
way up, and that you are, like, almost
monotone. And why do you thinkthat'll happen? But you almost
verbally go lower than me.
Right? You physically basically,because I'm spies everywhere,
you might hold my hands. Hold myface, right? Touch me, say, sit
(42:49):
down, calm down. If I'm pacing,you got to sit, you know, going
through all of the differentsteps that we need to do to get
me to calm down. And then towhere I can hear you. And a lot
of times, like, and listen, wedon't fight now. But we used to,
(43:12):
I hate to say fight. But like,because we never fight.
Jeffery Redding (43:25):
Part of it was when you listen, what are we
constantly on? We are learning.
Some you don't listen torespond, you listen to listen.
And when you focus on if you'refocusing on talking to get your
two cents, then you not listento what the person is saying.
Right. You know, so somesometimes it's okay, let me
listen to that response. But letme take in what you're saying.
(43:48):
And the Okay, let me process itbefore I say something bad.
Kristie Greenberg (43:53):
Right? And like, not everything needs to be
fixed.
Jeffery Redding (43:57):
Yeah. And you don't have to be right all the
time. Sorry. Is that is that?
Kristie Greenberg (44:01):
No. And I mean, let me tell you, I have
such strong opinions aboutthings I don't know about
people. We all do. Listen, shutup, Jeff. You wipe that smile
off your face. You got theprettiest smile. And I know I
really do have a recognition forsaying this to 7000 people last
(44:28):
week. So I don't know what themember will hear this but I have
very strong opinions at times.
Jeffery Redding (44:36):
They'd be passionate to. They are
passionate
Kristie Greenberg (44:40):
and opinions that I do not have any business
even having a thought over. Butboy, I didn't. I have opinions
of things. This will make youlaugh, just because of what
they're titled. Yeah. And youdon't know the law. level of
(45:00):
restraint painful you don'tunderstand. There's so much
wrong with me Lord love me. Butall I can say, I'm just gonna
I'm just gonna give like a smallexample. I'm gonna He's shaking
his head no, like, don't. Hewill give me liturgies here that
(45:22):
yeah, I'm going to perform thisand then if the word liturgy is
in it, I'm already running intotraffic. I hate it. Yeah, I
might not hate it. I've neverheard it my whole life. Then I
Google it, so I can hate itmore. Because like, this one
time, I heard chamber music. AndI hated it. I think we've talked
(45:42):
about that before. Yeah. But nowI think everything of certain
titles is that. And I gotstrong, strong, passionate
opinions about it. Right. Andsometimes you shouldn't have
opinions about things you don'tknow about. And like, sometimes,
(46:03):
I still have them. I still havethem. You've gotten a lot
better, though. No, I still havethem. I just don't say it.
Jeffery Redding (46:12):
Yeah.
Therefore, you've gotten a lotbetter.
Kristie Greenberg (46:16):
Not having him. I want to not have them.
Well, I want to get to where I'mopen minded. It is not a. But
like, at the same time. When ifyou're passionately wrong about
something. And I can be. Otherpeople can be passionately wrong
(46:39):
about things too. Right. Andwhen somebody else if I think
someone is passionately wrongabout something, it hurts my
feelings, right? And I want tofight and I want to like say,
No, I don't want to makesomebody else feel that way.
Right. I really don't want tomake somebody else feel that
(47:00):
way. So in my head, I justdropped a link and shut up about
it. And then I will come to youlater, though. That's something
that we've gotten good about.
Yeah, we talk about that. Wecheck things and talk about it
later. Yeah. But we talk abouteverything. Yeah. And I'd have
to say this, too. If somebodyasked us about this, they asked
(47:24):
us how we fought. And that's, Idon't know. That's a nother
show. But what I will say isthis. We don't get off the phone
man. Right. We don't leave eachother man. We don't really
allow. We will allow anger andfrustration. But not meanness.
Jeffery Redding (47:54):
Yeah. Yeah. You haven't
Kristie Greenberg (47:56):
been angry at me. But you can't be mean to me.
Exactly.
Jeffery Redding (47:59):
I mean, you have to be intentional. It has
to be intentional. Because itcan be hard sometimes. That's
just reality.
Kristie Greenberg (48:09):
And especially, y'all got to
understand me and him. I mean, alot. I think we're the most
opposite people on this frickinplanet. Except that we have
Jesus.
Jeffery Redding (48:21):
Exactly.
Kristie Greenberg (48:23):
Like clothes.
Yes. And we both think my hairlooks amazing right now. My
goodness. Shout out to Michellegot my hair done. Looks good.
Thank you. Yeah, much. Thankyou. Anyway, but yeah, I mean,
when you're this opposite. I'vealso never been happier. Right?
(48:47):
And I've never felt likeanything has been as healthy as
this in my life. Right? I feellike I'm a better mom. I'm a
better friend. I'm a betterdaughter, a better sister.
Because I'm learning tocommunicate. Not only with you,
(49:07):
but you forced me to becausewe're so opposite. Right? Like,
I feel like this will probablyyou do though, right? Like
Jeffery Redding (49:17):
yeah, no, I just understand just by living
by living you know, you're gonnastand something. We we've had a
lifetime before we started in.
Yeah. So therefore you look atyour past. And you look at
mistakes and you look at so andso when you say okay, it's about
communication. It's about havingthe tough conversations. And,
(49:41):
and just Okay, let's talk aboutit. Let's just talk about it,
you know, and not try to controlthe other person's emotions
through it. You know, I don'twant your feelings to be hurt.
You don't want my friends butnow let's talk about this. If
you know and you just kind ofgive yourself some rules and
(50:01):
say, Okay, you're not going toattack me, I'm not gonna attack
you. That's, that's not anoption that you have. That's an
option that we have. But pleasetell me how you feel.
Kristie Greenberg (50:12):
Well, I think it's also you've done this very
well with me. Because I'll puncha hole
Jeffery Redding (50:22):
real quick.
Kristie Greenberg (50:27):
You can take the Redneck out the trailer
park. Take the trailer park outthe Redneck. No, like, I don't
have a problem fun. I have a tictock. It's really funny. Like if
our eyelashes are braidedtogether, I'll punch you in the
name of Jesus. Like, I'm afighter. I'm not a talker by
(50:51):
nature, I would rather punch youin the throat and walk away. And
not like not my kids. And youknow, but like I live my life
and relationally speaking. I'mloyal. Right? So let's go
through the Intagram again for asecond. Yeah, loyal, loyal.
Until I'm not. Right. And thenwhen I'm not the switch goes
(51:12):
like this. Click. And until thatpoint where the switch went
down. I'd have done anything.
I've been hurt. I have been.
I've begged. I pleaded. I'vecried. I've prayed of diet. I've
ran I've tried. And then Ididn't write. And when the
switch goes like this, that theydon't see
Jeffery Redding (51:35):
it. But click.
Oh, yeah. I think or went down.
Oh, finger went down. Yeah,yeah.
Kristie Greenberg (51:42):
It went collect, then I'm done. And at
that point, at don't mean itsounds cocky or condescending or
I don't mean it that way. Butlike you're dead. Like, I'm
done. I'm done. And one of thereasons that I'm probably not in
(52:05):
jail is my kids. Because so manypeople needed their teeth
knocked out.
Jeffery Redding (52:10):
Yeah. And me.
Well, you mean, I've stopped?
Yes.
Kristie Greenberg (52:18):
Oh, well, yeah. I mean, you put the
brothel in there as
Jeffery Redding (52:25):
well. That's what I try not let myself get to
that point. Because I know me,you know, oh, let me
Kristie Greenberg (52:31):
know. I don't want to get there now. You have
you have in this relationshiphave taught me to breathe, to
listen, and really kind of workon. You don't have to cut
(52:55):
everything off.
I don't know how I'm trying tosay it. Anyway,
Jeffery Redding (53:08):
that I get it.
Kristie Greenberg (53:10):
They probably don't I'll come back to it.
Another appointment.
Jeffery Redding (53:15):
No, but you know, but to wrap it up, is
that, you know, We've both grownso much, and we're still
growing. And we're stilllearning and we're not perfect.
And so it's just being open withthe learning process to help
others, you know, so absolutely,you know, you've come a long
(53:37):
way. I've come a long way. It'sjust figuring who we are, where
we are in our life and thenmoving forward, you know, as the
number six as the number two,you know, and everything in
between, you know,
Kristie Greenberg (53:52):
and guess what? You might be a number two,
but you might number one. I waslucky to me, I love me. You my
number one, two, we are soprecious. Like honestly.
Jeffery Redding (54:09):
Okay, so this was a long one today so we
Kristie Greenberg (54:12):
can always hold on. I want to say one thing
because I don't want to forgetit because it's so important. I
want to say congratulations to abeautiful young lady. Her name
is Emily Griffiths. And she isour new Miss southern Indiana
2023.
Jeffery Redding (54:28):
Oh, Emily.
Congratulations, Emily Griffin.
Yes, I'm very proud of you andMA what to do it going wasted.
Even though I'm sad I didn't getyou at UCF. I am very happy
where you are. You're in a fineschool and you're doing some
great work. So yay, yay. Yay.
Yay. Yay. Congratulations. We'reso proud
Kristie Greenberg (54:52):
of her. She's one of our podcast listeners and
very active on the pod but shealso Has she was one of Jeff's I
don't know how you like
Jeffery Redding (55:06):
to the Allstate really recruited her. And I
thought I was close. But wedidn't. We didn't we didn't get
her but she stayed in touch andshe's done some wonderful work
and I'm very proud of her.
Kristie Greenberg (55:16):
But I mean, like this girl, this was her
first pageant.
Jeffery Redding (55:20):
She's incredible. She's incredible.
Kristie Greenberg (55:24):
From one pageant queen to another,
congratulations, ma'am. Like I'mso proud of her though so proud
of her. So congratulations,Emma. We're so proud. So to say
that,
Jeffery Redding (55:36):
congratulations again. So that being said, this
is this, this podcast. Don'tforget to rate review and what
it was there were just asubscribe. You almost had it.
Subscribe to red and green thepodcast and we will see you next
week on red and green
Hi, what's up?
How you doing today?
Kristie Greenberg (00:28):
Good. How are you today?
Jeffery Redding (00:30):
Good, good, good. Good.
Kristie Greenberg (00:33):
Not like we didn't just talk for 15 minutes
before you hit record,
Jeffery Redding (00:36):
but still we live now. So we got to say how
are you doing today?
Kristie Greenberg (00:39):
I know you say it louder
Jeffery Redding (00:43):
Yeah, thanks.
So we are assuming today again?
Kristie Greenberg (00:48):
No DOM
Jeffery Redding (00:51):
Tis the season to be zoom and Allah Allah Allah
Allah.
Kristie Greenberg (00:54):
Oh, it isn't and it's not Christmas. Don't
sing flashbacks.
Jeffery Redding (00:57):
Oh, listen, every day is Christmas.
Kristie Greenberg (01:01):
Listen, speaking of Christmas, what
happened? I went little clip.
This is not a pipe plug. This isjust fact. I went to cost plus
no world market in Virginia wascalled Cost Plus world market.
Okay. That's why I say that allthe time. But I went to rural
market here in kindergarten onSaturday with my beautiful
daughter Bella. And theirChristmas stuff was 90% off. I
(01:24):
save 680 Or no $767.
Jeffery Redding (01:33):
And I spent you spent eight hours?
Kristie Greenberg (01:36):
Yes. And I save 760 Sam. I got $25
stockings. Six of them for$2.50. Hmm. I know. Like, my
chest was hurting. I'm soexcited. I got it's called a
Nordic tree. But I actuallythought that it was a displace
thing. Yes, I really did. Butit's like Talan wooden, and it
(01:59):
has little pieces coming outlike this. I'm showing him on
the Zoom. With little likefinger things that stick up like
this. Yeah. And you hangornaments on it. And I have all
these Starbucks ornaments, andI'm gonna use that for my
kitchen Christmas tree. Excited.
I was very excited about thiswhole thing.
Jeffery Redding (02:18):
For you, baby.
Kristie Greenberg (02:19):
Thanks, Amy.
Yay, Christmas.
Jeffery Redding (02:23):
I'm glad you get your stuff the
Kristie Greenberg (02:26):
I'm not done.
Jeffery Redding (02:28):
I know. I'd say that just so you can see what I
was gonna say.
Kristie Greenberg (02:32):
I'm not done.
Oh, I'm probably done withChristmas at 90% off in January.
But anyway. Oh, Mercedes has abig ol yawn. Jeffrey. I know.
They're walking around.
Jeffery Redding (02:45):
Listen. Well, that's fine, too. That is fine,
too. But that's okay.
Kristie Greenberg (02:51):
That it makes your job pop and it hurts.
Never. Oh, I have that sucker ata job. Can you imagine?
Jeffery Redding (03:02):
Yes, I could actually is I can't imagine.
Kristie Greenberg (03:05):
So will happen for you. Anything good
this week?
Jeffery Redding (03:09):
Oh, no. Didn't think I'm trying to remember.
Oh. Shout out. We went to Clegg.
This party.
Kristie Greenberg (03:16):
Oh, yeah.
Happy birthday. Happy
Jeffery Redding (03:18):
50th birthday.
It was a fantastic party was sojust happy for them. And shout
out to Mike. You know, and soAnd shout out you know, it was a
packed party. And so, as I sayclay Have you ever doubt it? You
are loved by so many playingcliff and it's so well deserved.
(03:41):
It was a great
Kristie Greenberg (03:44):
article. I realized when I'm old. Okay. I
got like, you know, the next daywhen you get up you're like, oh,
did I take my pill? I guessChrissy you just can't drop it.
Drop it low. No,
Jeffery Redding (04:00):
we danced
Kristie Greenberg (04:02):
I can do it.
I just pay for it. The next day.
Jeffery Redding (04:04):
You can do it and you can dance yo but I lose
dance. And it was we had fun.
Yeah. But boy, we paid for it.
The next night we paid for thenext day. My goodness. My hips
Kristie Greenberg (04:15):
was hurt. My
Jeffery Redding (04:18):
knees loosened up. I was taking my body don't
jiggle jiggle.
Kristie Greenberg (04:25):
Every time I used to like fold us where I
want to start just like droppingat the waist start now.
Jeffery Redding (04:32):
Obviously, just like me, and pho
Kristie Greenberg (04:39):
is beautiful.
It was like some it was at Epcotboardwalk, which
Jeffery Redding (04:43):
was really nice.
Kristie Greenberg (04:44):
Did you know it was a thing? No. I know it
was a thing either. And we livehere and we're like Disney
people. I didn't even know thisexisted. And it was like some
club.
Jeffery Redding (04:56):
But it was nice. Cuz I'd never been in
there. Okay, Hey,
Kristie Greenberg (05:00):
there's all shops and like hotels, but you
go dance beach. Yeah. Yeah, itwas cool. I like that place. And
then we went to Animal Kingdomand walked around on Sunday.
Jeffery Redding (05:11):
And that was, yeah, no, you haven't done that
in a minute. And it was justgood to just not have anything
and just kind of be normal. Youknow, just go out there and kind
of do what we do, even if it'sto shop or eat something that
was, you know, just kind ofgood.
Kristie Greenberg (05:30):
Yeah, that was good. And that night, I went
to bed at like, eight o'clock.
Jeffery Redding (05:40):
Oh, my goodness. I
Kristie Greenberg (05:42):
also ordered groceries this week. And I
cleaned the refrigerator, andthe freezer like not only threw
away old things. Oh, youwouldn't was disgusting, though.
I found a container shoved inthe back of the refrigerator.
That was gravy fromThanksgiving.
Jeffery Redding (06:00):
Oh, man, I can't believe you sit on the
podcast. But that
Kristie Greenberg (06:05):
digs in the way back? Not me. When I saw it,
I was like, I don't know.
Jeffery Redding (06:13):
Why. Oh, new basketball.
Kristie Greenberg (06:18):
I mean, it's kind of gross.
Jeffery Redding (06:22):
Fine. Yeah, well, not. That would not have
been good.
Kristie Greenberg (06:28):
But I got that done. So I've thought about
that, too.
Jeffery Redding (06:30):
Yeah. But yeah, I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad
you get that done. So you canrest about that. So check it off
your list. So yay. So what arewe gonna talk about today? This
is gonna be a good one. Oh, lastweek. Let's talk about the
podcast from last week. Briefly.
Wonderful questions for thisweek, actually, but it was neat
(06:53):
to see how many people took thattest. And just different
responses we got back from that,you know, most of you agree with
this. Some of you didn't agreewith some of it, you know, and
it was it was just neat, just tokind of go through that process
with everyone. You know, it wasfunny, even on my church test a
willow, we had a meeting and wekind of took the ticket test.
(07:18):
Just like that, you know, likethat better that test. And it
was it was nice to even hear howdifferent people are, what level
that they fit in. Even from thataround. So it's really good.
It's really good. It's sort oflook at it. See where you are in
your life process. It agreedisagree? You know, working it
(07:40):
grows really was cool.
Kristie Greenberg (07:44):
Yeah, I mean, I think well, I've seen a lot of
this, personally, where peopleare not on me, but like in
banter back and forth. socialmedias. Yeah, thanks. Where
people are like, Oh, my God, Inever would have thought this
person like that you would bethis? Right? Guys? It didn't
(08:09):
work that way. It doesn't,you're not going to necessarily
know what another person is?
Yeah. Like, people presentthemselves with shields all the
time.
Jeffery Redding (08:23):
Or they don't.
And you might just have blinderson?
Kristie Greenberg (08:27):
Well, not but I mean, like, oftentimes, many
people do. That's what I'msaying. I agree with you. I
agree with you. If there's likefor me, like being a six. I know
that I'm pretty openly a six.
But one of the things aboutsixes is that they're very
friendly. Right? I am veryfriendly. selectively. Yeah.
(08:47):
There are people who mightdisagree with my friendliness.
But there are times that I getput in social situations or
places where, if I already knowI don't want to associate with
the company, you're gonna see awall, and I will just be hyper
focused and vigilant and trylike, you know, do the thing of
like, I don't need any morefriends. Yeah, I got enough. I'm
(09:08):
good. Thanks. So you got to takethat into consideration. It
could be if someone doesn't seemlike what you think they are, it
could be that they are not thatto you. That doesn't mean it's
not what they are as a whole.
Jeffery Redding (09:27):
And that's okay to also. Yes,
Kristie Greenberg (09:29):
I mean, I don't people be assumptive and
then argue with people on socialmedia Shut up. Yeah. Don't ever
do that. Like no one needs youropinion. They took a test and
said what their number was, theydon't need to
Jeffery Redding (09:41):
argue with you on social media, or argue
anonymously.
Kristie Greenberg (09:48):
I mean, I never had one anonymously
Jeffery Redding (09:50):
Lizza you'd never get my test dummy. I never
even look at that kind of stuff.
Kristie Greenberg (09:54):
Well, let me you know what I have learned to
do. What I should say I canremember that. frickin fake
nine. I don't remember it. Butlike, when you create a fake
profile, and you want to berude, like it's so dumb. Like,
first of all, I know you'reobsessed with me. I know you're
(10:18):
thinking, you've literally wentthrough the effort to create a
fake profile to try to make acomment, or a statement to hurt
my feelings. People not manypeople can hurt my feelings and
I promise you your fake profileon Facebook makes me laugh.
(10:42):
Like, man, I never gonna happen,but and then when people create
like profiles to argue withother people, okay, keyboard
warrior, like just say it.
Jeffery Redding (10:53):
Just say
Kristie Greenberg (10:56):
anyway. Yeah, I don't. There's my TED talk for
today.
Jeffery Redding (11:00):
Yeah, that's tough. I don't participate in
nor do I really?
Kristie Greenberg (11:04):
There's a button that says block. Like,
honestly, you don't think I'mgonna hit it? Come on. Like,
create another fake profile justso you can look at me. Go ahead
this is literally Why are you soobsessed with me? Honestly.
Jeffery Redding (11:25):
Stop it. This is green, red and green. Green,
green, green green.
Kristie Greenberg (11:31):
This is where people say she's friendly. I'm
friendly when you're not crazy.
Anyway,
Jeffery Redding (11:41):
but now so it doesn't always the thing the
test doesn't always line up butit show it puts you in a
position where you just gottareflect and so on and so forth.
Kristie Greenberg (11:52):
Well, my opinion is this I think it lines
up. I do but mine almost hurt myfeelings. Right? Because it was
so spot on. But at the same timefor you to have an accurate
test. You got to tell the truth.
Yep. Yes. And you got to answerquestions answer don't have
nobody calling out to you answerquestions, sitting myself in a
(12:12):
dark room. And then be like whatam I really gonna say I had to
do that with myself. Yeah,here's the answers I wanted to
answer one way for them like abig fat liar face. And then when
you answer though, the right wayI literally got spot on. And
then there's some things that Imight not do to the enth degree.
But I probably still do it. Likesome aspects of the
(12:38):
characteristics might weighheavier one way and lighter on
some but all of them are thatmakes on an anxiety riddled
mess. Who's friendly and a loveyou to the end. Wow.
Jeffery Redding (12:56):
So that being said, we have some questions
today what we're going to talkabout is basically more so that
test but from the standpoint ofthat the questions that we
receive, but we're going toanswer him from verses a six and
a two. And so it'd beinteresting to hear how we
(13:17):
because we're so different butin some ways so similar you
know, I'm saying and how will wehow do we answer that now
wherever six answers the samethe question sandwich Nope. will
ever to answer it No, because weare a product of our experiences
also. So therefore sometimes itwill be a little different.
(13:39):
That's why when I took the testI agree with so many of us some
of it I didn't agree with someof it I'm not there yet and it
may be right or maybe wrong isjust you know because we are a
proud of about differentexperiences, but it was a great
test. And so like Okay, here wego. So, you want to go from my
quote questions first. You wantto read momentary you read? I
(14:03):
don't want to read okay.
Kristie Greenberg (14:06):
I don't have my glasses on.
Jeffery Redding (14:08):
Is that how do you deal with feeling lost from
a number six? How do you dealwith feeling lost?
Kristie Greenberg (14:17):
Lost? Yeah. I live in a constant. I don't I
don't want to I don't ever Idon't know what you mean by loss
to be fair to analyzing
Jeffery Redding (14:32):
how do you Okay, when you've lost
emotionally, not not knowingwhere to go? Just how do you
handle you know, just feelinglost?
Kristie Greenberg (14:44):
I can't say that I what I think of let me
let me be fair when I say this,what I think of when somebody
says that they feel lost. Idon't think I have ever felt.
Okay, be honest. I don't thinkI've ever felt that way. But I
could be wrong and Like, anxietycould be someone feeling lost,
or I guess it depends on thedefinition of the word. But like
(15:06):
for true loss, like, I don'tknow what to do. I never know
what to do. I always am livingin a state of I don't know what
to do if this happens, that'sthe thing. I live in a state of,
what do I do if this happens? SoI'm always planning for the
worst. Gotcha. And I always livein a constant state of anxiety.
(15:27):
Okay. And
Jeffery Redding (15:31):
but is that a number six? Or is that just you?
So number six lives in the stateof anxiety? Yeah. Okay.
Kristie Greenberg (15:39):
My number one need, you know, this, like, you
know, this, you might not say itin a constant state of anxiety,
like you might not
Jeffery Redding (15:45):
you because I don't see you in a constant
state of anxiety at all. But youknow,
Kristie Greenberg (15:51):
what I'm saying is this too, though, when
your definition of living in aconstant state of anxiety, you
might think somebody's going,Oh, my car hoga
Jeffery Redding (15:58):
overalls you do? Yeah, yeah.
Kristie Greenberg (16:01):
But I do this. Let me give you a perfect
example. Do you want to go toJeff, okay. I'm going to speak
with you. Hey, you want to go toAnimal Kingdom on Sunday? What's
the weather supposed to be?
That's what I say? Uh, huh. Yep.
Like 71. Do you think that'll becold or hot? And do you think
it's going to rain because ifit's raining, I don't want to
go, right? If it's raining, thenwe'll just figure it out. I
(16:24):
don't want to go if it's goingto rain, because I don't like
it. When the bottom my pants getwet. Right. So I really need to
plan for the worst casescenario. It's raining, I'm
going to take the rain suit thatwe bought for when it rains. So
I want to go so I bought rainsuits, right? To pack in a
Disney bag. Because you like togo to Disney. Think this is the
(16:48):
way we solve this. This is agreat example of a two and a six
the way we solve this problem,right? You want to go? Like I
want to go and I want to havefun and I want to and then
there's me. I can go and havefun. I'm going to be stressed in
my mind. And it's not stress,like crippling anxiety. You know
(17:08):
what I mean? Right? Right? Butit's like an uneasiness to work
and take some of your joy. If Idon't know what I'm going to do.
So I can pack this frickin uglyoutfit. And bring it with me.
And it solves the problem. Yeah,to plan for the next thing. So I
would have to say that if I'mlost, I plan if I feel lost, I
(17:30):
plan and I verbalize to you,like take your person. If you
feel lost and say I feel lost.
Let them probe you like what doyou feel lost about? How are you
feeling? You do that reallywell. Like to help me when I'm
nervous or stressed? You can youcan question me into being
(17:53):
rational.
Jeffery Redding (17:56):
Gotcha. For two, I don't I'm totally upset.
I don't feel that way. I justdon't have when I when I feel
lost. The times I have felt lostmy anxiety goes out the window.
And how do I kind of cope withit? I get quiet. And I just try
(18:19):
to think of I tried to talkmyself off a ledge you know, I'm
saying it's gonna be okay, thisis fine. This too shall pass
Monday will become Tuesday,Tuesday become Wednesday,
whatever is gonna happen isgonna be over and eventually
gonna get better. And I have toconstantly talk to myself. That
right there and I've become ayou know, this, I've become
(18:40):
extremely focused. Extremely. Iblock everything out. And you've
seen that, you know, so where,like, if I'm anxiety, if I go to
performance now and if I feellost about something, how
there's two things I realizedthe only two things I can do in
this world truly, well, morethan two. But in this situation
(19:03):
right here for my anxiety. Idon't think two only two things
I can control is my preparationand my response to people I can
control how prepared I am forsomething in terms of when we
talk about music and I'm sayingand my response to people are
you measured Have you thoughtthis through Have you have you
(19:24):
have you and oftentimes in termsof anxiety that kind of comes my
stepdad because what it does isthere I relinquish control of
everything else. And oftentimesanxiety can be based in control
but you know, wanting to be incontrol, controlling the
environment and knowing you wantto control everything around
(19:44):
you. And sometimes you just onlycontrol what can you control
your outfit. Pack your outfit.
pack an umbrella, or or a volike umbrella. I would call it a
rain jacket and keep it going.
You know? So how do you dealwith feeling lost you deal with
(20:05):
feeling lost by planning forevery situation. I plan with, I
deal with feeling lost by tryingto live in the moment and trying
to calm myself down to get pastthat section before I move on to
something else.
Kristie Greenberg (20:18):
One thing I'll say, though, about anytime
that you are nervous, and thisis, I don't even know who I was.
Tell him the other day. I wastalking about you. And it's
like, one of the worst things tosay about somebody. And I mean,
no disrespect when I say this,you know, the whole serpent
thing? Yeah, that used to bewhen I would hear you talk. And
(20:41):
I didn't know you. Right? Youknow, but I heard you speak and
you're like, you talked aboutserving people. I swear, this
makes me sound either. I'm aterrible person. I don't know. I
still am coming to grips withit. I literally thought you're
full of crap. Right? You talkand inwardly, my inner eyes
would roll then whatever. UntilI got to know you like this. You
(21:08):
focus on everybody else whenthings are bothering you. Yeah,
focus on everybody else most ofthe time. But I feel like you do
it more. When things bother you.
Like, you turn things outward.
Like, like, kind of forget yourown self and your own stress and
(21:31):
turn, like okay, well, I can'tdo anything about this right
now. These are the two things Ican do. So I'll do all of this
in the process, and you turnsomething ugly into something
pretty.
Jeffery Redding (21:43):
Well, I agree with you, though. The limits?
Kristie Greenberg (21:48):
I'm awesome.
I do agree.
Jeffery Redding (21:50):
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that wasn't me. Yeah, in
terms of. But there's a phonenumber too. There's, that's a
double edged sword because thatis true. In terms of you focus
on other phones, but otherpeople can hurt you. And if
you're tender hearted, orsensitive, it can take it can
knock you down. And then on topof that, what ends up happening
(22:13):
is you've been neglectingyourself and your needs. So
you've done two things. You'vehurt yourself twice. You have
Oguzhan everybody. And thenyou're hurt from that and then
you've hurt yourself because youhaven't done your own self care.
So you know, it can be a doubleedged sword. So just be careful
(22:35):
that when you feel let's go tothe next one. Okay, from the two
to six. Oh, okay. That wassaying one. Okay. Getting lost
in lifehave you ever thought about
writing a book?
Kristie Greenberg (22:59):
Yes, I have.
Yes, I have and a half.
Jeffery Redding (23:02):
Okay. Number six, talk about it, please.
Kristie Greenberg (23:06):
I don't know if I can answer it from a number
six. Exactly. And just that,yes. But you know, a lot of
people think that they know me.
And like not to make it likeEminem and give me an eight mile
(23:27):
story. But at my age and whatI've been through. It's, there's
times I look back and think thatmust have happened to someone
else. Yeah. Like, no, no, Idon't understand how I made it.
Right. Like, I've had someserious illness going on in my
(23:50):
life as an adult. Yeah. Then asingle mom of three kids lost a
husband have moved to have donelike, things to me and somebody
else told me they were going todo it, I'd have anxiety. And I
don't know how I did it. Right.
But I do know how I felt. And Iwant people to know how I feel
(24:16):
now. How I felt then, like feelfelt found almost. And I wish
everybody my life is notperfect. And I have stress. But
I wish that everybody could feelthe pure joy that I really have.
First of all, I'm so thankfulfor God, like give Him all the
(24:40):
glory and everything that we dolike this podcast and everything
else like I'm so grateful forwithout him. I don't know how
I've got through anything, but Idon't even feel like I can't
describe it. And so to write abook, I've written it and
there's a whole lot that I haveto cut out because I have a hard
(25:04):
time writing something. And notbeing completely honest and
open. Right. But my life hasinvolved other people's lives.
Yeah. Right. And that does notgive me permission to tell
everything about them. Right,exactly. So I struggle with
that. But boy, you want a bookwritten, give me a topic I can
do in a week. Like I can notchapters out. But
Jeffery Redding (25:30):
you know, for me, am I gonna write a book?
Yes, definitely. Um, of course,hopefully, it's gonna be
something that's, I want toinspire others, because that's
just who I you know, that's whoI am in my horoscope, you know,
in my heart, you know, and, butI also want to, I want to give
(25:51):
honor for all those shoulders,who I stand on. But also I want
to inspire educators, musiceducators, but I also want to
inspire people who are not evenin music. Just people, you know,
from my ups from my downs. insand outs, so I will be writing
(26:13):
the book. Definitely.
Definitely.
Kristie Greenberg (26:18):
You think I'll have it
Jeffery Redding (26:21):
neither one of us will be tired of going to a
whole flow of purposes, nor thatkind of good stuff. But um,
yeah, so from that standpoint,it's just like, you know, yeah,
I want to do that. The otherquestion I have, okay. Where do
you get your suits? Joseph Abanks. Shout out to Charles with
(26:42):
a bank's asking me that too.
Well? Where do you get your
Kristie Greenberg (26:50):
money? I got my suit. Yeah, I wore suit.
FMEA. Remember? Yeah, it wasplaid with a Rolling Stones t
shirt? Yes, black leather tennisshoes. It was a cute outfit. I
got that suit from the goodwill.
For 499 on new with tags. Thankyou, TV. And Tyler.
Jeffery Redding (27:14):
Does life ever slow down for you? I feel like I
feel like I'm always workingtowards worrying about the next
thing. And it's just keepsgoing. How do I not just stress
constantly over everything? Howdo I keep from burning out?
Kristie Greenberg (27:35):
I don't know.
Jeffery Redding (27:37):
Everything this person is does my life ever slow
down? No. They're there aremoments I should say yes, then
yes, there are snapshots inwhich they do slow down. Working
towards worrying about the nextthing. One thing that personally
as a number two that I've thatI've been working on, is not so
(28:02):
much working towards the nextthing. But enjoying the space
that I am in the moment is like,I know the next thing is coming.
But if I looked so far ahead tothe next thing. Well, I'll miss
what's happening today. I didnot. So like the podcast is my
(28:24):
thing today. So me. So in thismoment, I am totally locked in
on the podcast, when I'm offthis podcast, then I gotta
prepare for concerts or classesor whatever else that because my
head and then I try my best tofocus on that. And enjoy that
moment. I wasn't I was neverlike that. It was always the
(28:46):
next thing. And the older that Ihave become the one that I've
been trying to work on as Jeff.
And sure the moment enjoy themoment and you know, and I've
had professionals who kind oftalk to me about that. And I you
know, as a young student is upand coming conductor and teacher
you don't always think aboutthat. You know, and it's like,
(29:07):
I'm just at a different place inmy life. And which I just want
to enjoy the moments. I'mthankful for the Korea I'm
thankful for all that hashappened, but I also want to
enjoy it. You know? So that wasthat's for me.
Kristie Greenberg (29:35):
So for me, I think that living in the UK I'm
pretty good at living in themoment. But it just depends
exactly what it is like. I'mstill kind of a chicken on some
things and I like to plan thingsout. But to me that can be
living in the moment by planningthings out because I feel very
(29:57):
empowered by it. I have Have Iset goals on everything and
measurable goals? Okay, so Ilike the feeling. I don't like
the feeling of ending. Okay,like, Does it ever slow down? I
don't ever feel fast or slow,huh? Okay, like in your candle
(30:21):
out season, it was a lot ofdifferent things on different
days, right. But I also knew,like it ends on this date and
then on this date is this. Andthen there's this and then
there's this. And so like Ialways know what's coming in
plan because I like to have acalendar and to be organized.
And but you know, I think it'simportant to live in a state of
(30:45):
gratitude at all times. Ifyou're feeling overwhelmed, like
if you're at work, and you feelcompletely stressed out, and
there's times that like at work,I feel mega stressed. But it's
to even in those moments, I lovemy job. I love my bosses, right?
I'm very blessed in myprofessional life. But the
(31:11):
school stresses me out. But whoin the world gets to go back to
school at my age single mom,three kids, and here I am. But
they killed it. Like, I'mgrateful that I've got the
capability to do so. I have agreat home. I'm so thankful for
it, like, so when I feel like atthe same time, take a moment and
(31:36):
like just say, Okay, I'mthankful for this. I'm thankful
for this. I'm thankful for this.
And of all the things you'rethankful for, maybe even send
like a thank you text to thepeople that helped you get
there. Yeah. You know, thatalways seems. So you don't feel
like everything's so busy, whenyou're busy, and you don't feel
like things are slowing down. Isee it as a positive, if you can
(31:59):
spin it in your mind to bepositive, right? Rather than a
negative thing, right? Becauseyou have so many opportunities
when you're busy. True. Whetherit be an opportunity to
friendship, or a job or to singor to dance, or to go to school,
or to visit with family or allthese things, right. Like I got
(32:20):
totally stressed during gamelast season. Why? Because I had
to work and I had to go tocandlelight. And I had school
and I had kids and I had but youhad a job at candlelight. Yeah,
that's great. I'm so gratefulyou had that. My kids had
school. I'm so proud of them forschool and all the different
performances that I had to dofor them. My job, praise the
Lord, I have a job. Right rightnow grateful for you know what I
(32:42):
mean? So like, there you go.
That's what
Jeffery Redding (32:48):
I do. You gotta keep going. And you forget, and
you're so good at that you're sogood at reminding yourself. I'm
thankful for this. I'm thankfulfor this, you know, it could
Kristie Greenberg (32:59):
not have gritted teeth.
Jeffery Redding (33:02):
Burrito, grilled cheese. Maria, you know,
and the final question basicallyis, and you know, if you notice
this, it goes from a two to asix, but then some of it is just
now two or six at all. It's justyour lab experience, you know?
So, so the final question thatwe get for the day, and we got a
few questions, so we can ask, asyou know, answer some as we go
(33:26):
on in other podcasts. How doyou? How do you not just stress
constantly over everything? Howdo I keep and then how do I keep
from burning out? And I think wetalked about how do you just not
just trust constantly overeverything. I do stress
constantly over everything.
Yeah, but you also talked aboutyou plan.
Kristie Greenberg (33:50):
I do plan and here's the thing that was
planning and being the way I am.
You have to become a person ifyou have anxiety to realize, not
only do I have anxiety, I haveintrusive thoughts, which are
two totally separate things. Anda lot of people don't understand
what that is, but like myintrusive thoughts or things
like this. I could have my frontbond open. Have it open every
(34:14):
day for six years. And one daylook at it and I thought my head
would be I wonder if there's asnapper in the neighbor's
backyard and they could shoot mesquare in the head
Jeffery Redding (34:27):
low. I don't
Kristie Greenberg (34:28):
know where that came from.
Jeffery Redding (34:30):
Right? Well, no, I thought it well. He was in
the Air Force. And
Kristie Greenberg (34:35):
it's just that's who I am as a person. I
will think like I will have youcan't not call me on your way
home without you being squishedby a Mack truck. Like there's
things in my head that areirrational, destructive
(34:55):
thoughts, and I know right,intrusive thoughts, I should say
and And so one you have to learnto realize that and then tell
your people. Yeah. Becausealthough Yeah, it could happen.
Statistically it won't. And youprobably know that too. Yeah.
But don't live with it byyourself. Like, that helps me.
(35:18):
And like, How many times have Itold you about, like, my fears
of future? Oh, yeah. But, and ithelps telling you, because in
that moment, where he is one whodoesn't, he might stress but he
you don't stress nothing like Idon't know, the stress, but not
over the things are stressedabout. Right. You know, like,
(35:40):
I'm thinking like, when we are78 years old? What if the stock
market crashes, every piece ofretirement money is gone, and
you fall and break your leg? Andwe can't afford a wheelchair
lift? And we live in a secondfloor?
Jeffery Redding (35:59):
Oh, my gosh, I don't even want to listen. I'm
not going to set that brain.
Kristie Greenberg (36:04):
Oh, you've dove in it? You know how it can
be run
Jeffery Redding (36:07):
out of that thing? Oh,
Kristie Greenberg (36:08):
no. Don't like why are you talking a big
game on a podcast? Listen, thisis what
Jeffery Redding (36:17):
gives me pause.
Number one, number one, we areliterally talking about what you
just not say it does. And that'sit. That's a whole lot of crazy
stuff. No, I'm not dealing withthat one. But then, how do I
keep from burning out? You know,that's a hard one for me. And,
and that's what I struggle with?
(36:38):
You know, it's because I lovewhat I do so much. It's, you
know, is that was difficult,because I don't feel it, this
one here. I don't feel burnedout. But I'm trying to get
(36:59):
better at how much I do or don'tdo, because I don't want my work
to suffer the level that you cando things. So sometimes it's
best to do less great than moremediocre, if that makes sense to
you. And so that's another onething. So the other thing for me
(37:20):
is that that's why I love whenwe go to this new URL or
something, you know, becausethen I can relax my brain a
little bit understand knowingthat the intrusive thoughts will
still come tap dancing across myforehead. You know, but I'm able
to do something else besidesmusic. You know? And I think
(37:47):
that's I think that's important.
So I try to take these pocketsof breaks, and which I don't do
that stuff where I don't burnout. And then next year, I try
to figure Okay, well, we canbecome more efficient with my
time, or don't do so much orwhatever like that. So it's a
constant battle. Well, whatabout for you?
Kristie Greenberg (38:07):
Well, I'm gonna finish the first part,
what I was saying first,
Jeffery Redding (38:10):
with, I'm sorry,
Kristie Greenberg (38:12):
with the things of like, with what I
think about. I'm not gonna letyourself deprecate and say that
you would run from it, becauseyou don't. You don't. When I
have problems or issues, and Ithink of scary things of way far
off. You've never been rude orhateful about it. You've never
(38:33):
No, no, I wasn't. Yeah, you'venever said I don't want to jump
into that mind.
Jeffery Redding (38:39):
Oh, wait, no, no, no. Yeah, no, no, never.
Never. Never. Yeah.
Kristie Greenberg (38:43):
And if somebody has that, don't ever
say that. Like, I'm correctingthat. Because you mean it is
funny. But somebody else couldsay to somebody, you know what I
mean? Like, Ooh, okay. That'swhat I'm gonna say. I ain't
jumping into that. You don'twant to tell somebody?
Jeffery Redding (38:59):
No, I was just being silly. For the party. No,
no, no, no. Yeah.
Kristie Greenberg (39:02):
Oh, no, you.
It's, I think, to where he mighttell me it's crazy, like long
story. You know what I mean?
Like, but he never says it root.
And find somebody that can tellyou that your irrational
failures or your irrationalfears are irrational and really
solve them in a way of like, youknow, I told you I don't even
(39:33):
know at one point, like theOrlando housing market has me
completely stressed out becauselike, rents are skyrocketing and
right. They're skyrocketing andinterest rates not 10% And what
if I get to where I can't afforda house? Yeah, literally, that's
I know I'll have a house right.
(39:57):
But but at 1130 At night, somedays, I'm sure that I'm going to
live on Saturday up to thebridge. She's and but anytime I
tell you this, you start talkingto her steps. Well, you have
this, listen, this is what youcould do and this is this and
(40:19):
this. And then would you ever behomeless? As long as I've got a
mommy and daddy, as long as Iknow you, you would never let me
be homeless, I would never letyou be homeless Michelle. You
know, like, you can do that rollcall of like, you'll never be
homeless for the people thatlove you around you. You'll
never be homeless of this. Butthings insecurity. Again, top
(40:40):
six, right?
Jeffery Redding (40:42):
Yeah, and the thing about it, tackle that one
thing you gotta understand isthat is oftentimes this part,
this kind of goes right into it,we often talk about our
feelings, facts, you know, I'msaying, you know, are your
feelings reality? Yes. Yourfeelings are real. Are your
feelings real? Absolutely. Thequestion is not are the feelings
(41:04):
are real. The question to otherfacts, you know, real so? Hum,
yeah, so we deal in twodifferent things. So no, never
going to never diminishsomeone's feelings, because of
they feel that way. That's theirreality. And therefore, you
honor you respect that. Thequestion is, Does that fact line
(41:25):
up because oftentimes amisinterpretation or a fact
that's not necessarily ruling,whatever could then lead to your
real emotion. So what do you doyou handle what the facts are,
which then will inform theemotion, so that that's why we
kind of tone when you go throughthis. So now let's talk about I
(41:47):
see how you feel, and I respectit. But let's talk about this,
you know, that it will happenbecause this, this, this and
this, and this and this. So Ijust spit facts to you to let
that then let to inform youremotion. And then hopefully let
you get past it. You know, I'msaying
Kristie Greenberg (42:03):
at the same time, you mismatch my energy.
People talk all the time aboutmatching energy, and it's
important to match someone'senergy. No, I disagree,
especially in a high levelstress situation, right? If I'm
here, you almost becomemonotone. And
Jeffery Redding (42:23):
if you're here, meaning if you're high stress,
yeah. Oh, they can't see me. Iforget that
Kristie Greenberg (42:27):
way up, and that you are, like, almost
monotone. And why do you thinkthat'll happen? But you almost
verbally go lower than me.
Right? You physically basically,because I'm spies everywhere,
you might hold my hands. Hold myface, right? Touch me, say, sit
(42:49):
down, calm down. If I'm pacing,you got to sit, you know, going
through all of the differentsteps that we need to do to get
me to calm down. And then towhere I can hear you. And a lot
of times, like, and listen, wedon't fight now. But we used to,
(43:12):
I hate to say fight. But like,because we never fight.
Jeffery Redding (43:25):
Part of it was when you listen, what are we
constantly on? We are learning.
Some you don't listen torespond, you listen to listen.
And when you focus on if you'refocusing on talking to get your
two cents, then you not listento what the person is saying.
Right. You know, so somesometimes it's okay, let me
listen to that response. But letme take in what you're saying.
(43:48):
And the Okay, let me process itbefore I say something bad.
Kristie Greenberg (43:53):
Right? And like, not everything needs to be
fixed.
Jeffery Redding (43:57):
Yeah. And you don't have to be right all the
time. Sorry. Is that is that?
Kristie Greenberg (44:01):
No. And I mean, let me tell you, I have
such strong opinions aboutthings I don't know about
people. We all do. Listen, shutup, Jeff. You wipe that smile
off your face. You got theprettiest smile. And I know I
really do have a recognition forsaying this to 7000 people last
(44:28):
week. So I don't know what themember will hear this but I have
very strong opinions at times.
Jeffery Redding (44:36):
They'd be passionate to. They are
passionate
Kristie Greenberg (44:40):
and opinions that I do not have any business
even having a thought over. Butboy, I didn't. I have opinions
of things. This will make youlaugh, just because of what
they're titled. Yeah. And youdon't know the law. level of
(45:00):
restraint painful you don'tunderstand. There's so much
wrong with me Lord love me. Butall I can say, I'm just gonna
I'm just gonna give like a smallexample. I'm gonna He's shaking
his head no, like, don't. Hewill give me liturgies here that
(45:22):
yeah, I'm going to perform thisand then if the word liturgy is
in it, I'm already running intotraffic. I hate it. Yeah, I
might not hate it. I've neverheard it my whole life. Then I
Google it, so I can hate itmore. Because like, this one
time, I heard chamber music. AndI hated it. I think we've talked
(45:42):
about that before. Yeah. But nowI think everything of certain
titles is that. And I gotstrong, strong, passionate
opinions about it. Right. Andsometimes you shouldn't have
opinions about things you don'tknow about. And like, sometimes,
(46:03):
I still have them. I still havethem. You've gotten a lot
better, though. No, I still havethem. I just don't say it.
Jeffery Redding (46:12):
Yeah.
Therefore, you've gotten a lotbetter.
Kristie Greenberg (46:16):
Not having him. I want to not have them.
Well, I want to get to where I'mopen minded. It is not a. But
like, at the same time. When ifyou're passionately wrong about
something. And I can be. Otherpeople can be passionately wrong
(46:39):
about things too. Right. Andwhen somebody else if I think
someone is passionately wrongabout something, it hurts my
feelings, right? And I want tofight and I want to like say,
No, I don't want to makesomebody else feel that way.
Right. I really don't want tomake somebody else feel that
(47:00):
way. So in my head, I justdropped a link and shut up about
it. And then I will come to youlater, though. That's something
that we've gotten good about.
Yeah, we talk about that. Wecheck things and talk about it
later. Yeah. But we talk abouteverything. Yeah. And I'd have
to say this, too. If somebodyasked us about this, they asked
(47:24):
us how we fought. And that's, Idon't know. That's a nother
show. But what I will say isthis. We don't get off the phone
man. Right. We don't leave eachother man. We don't really
allow. We will allow anger andfrustration. But not meanness.
Jeffery Redding (47:54):
Yeah. Yeah. You haven't
Kristie Greenberg (47:56):
been angry at me. But you can't be mean to me.
Exactly.
Jeffery Redding (47:59):
I mean, you have to be intentional. It has
to be intentional. Because itcan be hard sometimes. That's
just reality.
Kristie Greenberg (48:09):
And especially, y'all got to
understand me and him. I mean, alot. I think we're the most
opposite people on this frickinplanet. Except that we have
Jesus.
Jeffery Redding (48:21):
Exactly.
Kristie Greenberg (48:23):
Like clothes.
Yes. And we both think my hairlooks amazing right now. My
goodness. Shout out to Michellegot my hair done. Looks good.
Thank you. Yeah, much. Thankyou. Anyway, but yeah, I mean,
when you're this opposite. I'vealso never been happier. Right?
(48:47):
And I've never felt likeanything has been as healthy as
this in my life. Right? I feellike I'm a better mom. I'm a
better friend. I'm a betterdaughter, a better sister.
Because I'm learning tocommunicate. Not only with you,
(49:07):
but you forced me to becausewe're so opposite. Right? Like,
I feel like this will probablyyou do though, right? Like
Jeffery Redding (49:17):
yeah, no, I just understand just by living
by living you know, you're gonnastand something. We we've had a
lifetime before we started in.
Yeah. So therefore you look atyour past. And you look at
mistakes and you look at so andso when you say okay, it's about
communication. It's about havingthe tough conversations. And,
(49:41):
and just Okay, let's talk aboutit. Let's just talk about it,
you know, and not try to controlthe other person's emotions
through it. You know, I don'twant your feelings to be hurt.
You don't want my friends butnow let's talk about this. If
you know and you just kind ofgive yourself some rules and
(50:01):
say, Okay, you're not going toattack me, I'm not gonna attack
you. That's, that's not anoption that you have. That's an
option that we have. But pleasetell me how you feel.
Kristie Greenberg (50:12):
Well, I think it's also you've done this very
well with me. Because I'll puncha hole
Jeffery Redding (50:22):
real quick.
Kristie Greenberg (50:27):
You can take the Redneck out the trailer
park. Take the trailer park outthe Redneck. No, like, I don't
have a problem fun. I have a tictock. It's really funny. Like if
our eyelashes are braidedtogether, I'll punch you in the
name of Jesus. Like, I'm afighter. I'm not a talker by
(50:51):
nature, I would rather punch youin the throat and walk away. And
not like not my kids. And youknow, but like I live my life
and relationally speaking. I'mloyal. Right? So let's go
through the Intagram again for asecond. Yeah, loyal, loyal.
Until I'm not. Right. And thenwhen I'm not the switch goes
(51:12):
like this. Click. And until thatpoint where the switch went
down. I'd have done anything.
I've been hurt. I have been.
I've begged. I pleaded. I'vecried. I've prayed of diet. I've
ran I've tried. And then Ididn't write. And when the
switch goes like this, that theydon't see
Jeffery Redding (51:35):
it. But click.
Oh, yeah. I think or went down.
Oh, finger went down. Yeah,yeah.
Kristie Greenberg (51:42):
It went collect, then I'm done. And at
that point, at don't mean itsounds cocky or condescending or
I don't mean it that way. Butlike you're dead. Like, I'm
done. I'm done. And one of thereasons that I'm probably not in
(52:05):
jail is my kids. Because so manypeople needed their teeth
knocked out.
Jeffery Redding (52:10):
Yeah. And me.
Well, you mean, I've stopped?
Yes.
Kristie Greenberg (52:18):
Oh, well, yeah. I mean, you put the
brothel in there as
Jeffery Redding (52:25):
well. That's what I try not let myself get to
that point. Because I know me,you know, oh, let me
Kristie Greenberg (52:31):
know. I don't want to get there now. You have
you have in this relationshiphave taught me to breathe, to
listen, and really kind of workon. You don't have to cut
(52:55):
everything off.
I don't know how I'm trying tosay it. Anyway,
Jeffery Redding (53:08):
that I get it.
Kristie Greenberg (53:10):
They probably don't I'll come back to it.
Another appointment.
Jeffery Redding (53:15):
No, but you know, but to wrap it up, is
that, you know, We've both grownso much, and we're still
growing. And we're stilllearning and we're not perfect.
And so it's just being open withthe learning process to help
others, you know, so absolutely,you know, you've come a long
(53:37):
way. I've come a long way. It'sjust figuring who we are, where
we are in our life and thenmoving forward, you know, as the
number six as the number two,you know, and everything in
between, you know,
Kristie Greenberg (53:52):
and guess what? You might be a number two,
but you might number one. I waslucky to me, I love me. You my
number one, two, we are soprecious. Like honestly.
Jeffery Redding (54:09):
Okay, so this was a long one today so we
Kristie Greenberg (54:12):
can always hold on. I want to say one thing
because I don't want to forgetit because it's so important. I
want to say congratulations to abeautiful young lady. Her name
is Emily Griffiths. And she isour new Miss southern Indiana
2023.
Jeffery Redding (54:28):
Oh, Emily.
Congratulations, Emily Griffin.
Yes, I'm very proud of you andMA what to do it going wasted.
Even though I'm sad I didn't getyou at UCF. I am very happy
where you are. You're in a fineschool and you're doing some
great work. So yay, yay. Yay.
Yay. Yay. Congratulations. We'reso proud
Kristie Greenberg (54:52):
of her. She's one of our podcast listeners and
very active on the pod but shealso Has she was one of Jeff's I
don't know how you like
Jeffery Redding (55:06):
to the Allstate really recruited her. And I
thought I was close. But wedidn't. We didn't we didn't get
her but she stayed in touch andshe's done some wonderful work
and I'm very proud of her.
Kristie Greenberg (55:16):
But I mean, like this girl, this was her
first pageant.
Jeffery Redding (55:20):
She's incredible. She's incredible.
Kristie Greenberg (55:24):
From one pageant queen to another,
congratulations, ma'am. Like I'mso proud of her though so proud
of her. So congratulations,Emma. We're so proud. So to say
that,
Jeffery Redding (55:36):
congratulations again. So that being said, this
is this, this podcast. Don'tforget to rate review and what
it was there were just asubscribe. You almost had it.
Subscribe to red and green thepodcast and we will see you next
week on red and green
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