March 10, 2023 β’ 15 mins
We're short and sweet today with a simple message.
Stop waiting. Stop questioning everything. STOP HOLDING YOURSELF BACK.
Flip the script. Do it scared. SEND THE FREAKING EMAIL.
Start messy, start unsure...JUST START.
And if you want some help to get you started, I'm only an email away!
You've got this babe.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
U (00:50):
Hello, hello, welcome back to another episode of redefining
fabulous, today is going to bejust a nice short and quick
episode. And I'm really justkind of want to share a recent
story with you because it kindof it kind of made me think
about things a little bitdifferently. And I just kind of
wanted to share it with youguys. Because I think that you
(01:11):
might also relate to this. So Ithink a lot of times in our
businesses in our life, for thatmatter. We are by far the
biggest things holding ourselvesback. So when you look at a
situation and you think aboutlike why you can't do it, a lot
of that is coming from thatmindset of I can't do it because
(01:36):
it's going to be hard, I can'tdo it, because I might fail. I
can't do it because of whatpeople might think whatever it
is. But I want you to kind oflike think twice about that. I
want you to kind of reframe thata little bit. Because recently,
I had a new client come to mewho has actually been a friend
for a really long time. And shehas this amazing idea to start
(02:01):
this new business. And you know,like all of us, she was afraid
to fail, she was afraid of allof the things that could go
wrong. She was afraid of feelinglike an imposter. She was she
was just afraid, right? You, youget that you've been there,
we've all been afraid ofsomething in our life. So being
scared is okay. I fully believein being scared. Because if
(02:23):
you're scared, if you have fear,that means that you're actually
attempting to pursue something,right, you're actually thinking
about the chance of what couldgo right. Okay. So I fully
believe that the universe has away of speaking to us, the
universe has a way of telling usand pushing us and giving us
(02:45):
those visceral feelings to moveforward and pursue something. So
about three years ago, I was ina position of basically starting
my life over I had to make somany decisions about my future,
and to really kind of decidewhat I wanted to do with my
life, my career. And in thatseason, for me, there was a lot
(03:06):
of fear, there was a lot ofworry about all the things that
could go on, like literally allthe things would keep me up at
night. And I would wonder andsay a lot of like, what if, but,
and then, you know, over time,that started to change a little
bit, I started to listen to alot of self development
(03:27):
podcasts, I started to reallyjust kind of like dive into
personal development. And youknow, some of the key pieces
that I took out of that seasonwas that alignment is like this
thing that you can't see. Butwhen you when it's right, like
when things are aligned, youfeel it, you know that it's
(03:50):
right, but there's no way foryou to find that in a book,
there's no way for you to Googlewhat your purpose is in life,
the only way to actually findthat out is to pursue it is to
try things is to see what feelsgood to see what doesn't see
what works. See what you learnalong the way. And, you know, I
had a lot of mixed feelingsabout alignment in general,
(04:12):
because in my past life of beingin the wedding industry, I
thought at that time that I wasaligned, I felt like I was doing
what I was good at what I wasmeant to do. And looking back
because you know, hindsight is2020 You know, looking back, I
was doing things that I wasgoing at for a long time and I
(04:33):
was not being pushed to reallyfigure out what the purpose was.
I had no idea what purpose evenmeant at that point, right? All
I knew is that I had found acareer I had built a business
and it was succeeding. It wasmaking money it was becoming,
you know, popular in my area.
And, you know, looking back if Ihad known the things that I know
(04:54):
now, I probably would haverealized that it wasn't aligned
for meBut the only way out is through,
right? The only way out is to dosomething and figure out that
that's not for you. So threeyears ago, when I decided to,
you know, sort of explore whatbusiness was going to look like,
(05:15):
for me moving forward, I knewthat I had all of these skills,
I knew I had years under mybelt, as a photographer, a
designer.
I didn't really realize it atthe time, but I've had a lot of
social media strategy under mybelt over the all those years of
growing those companies, I hadall of these skills, but I had
no idea how to put themtogether. So instead of, you
(05:38):
know, sitting around andwondering what if which I did
plenty of by the way, but when Ifinally made that decision to
really put the, like one foot infront of the other, you know, I
started to try things. And Istarted to see what made sense
and what fit. And in the lastyear, I've found the most
clarity and alignment I haveever, ever found how I've ever
(06:03):
felt, I've never felt as alignedas I am right now. And I think
it's really important to talkabout alignment as a sense of
feeling. Because I think thattoo often, we are chasing
something, we're chasingsomething, maybe it's not even
always tangible. But we'rechasing something specific. And
I think that the problem thereis that we focus so much on the
(06:24):
destination that we're trying toget to that we kind of just go
through the motions during theday along the way. And we're not
really picking up the details,we're not really picking up the
pieces of development oflearning along the way. And so a
couple of weeks ago, when thisfriend came to me and asking,
just for my opinion, for my helpall of these things, you know,
(06:48):
it was something for me that Ireally started to realize that
like, not only am I feeling thisalignment, but so are you, the
people who are coming to me, orasking for my advice, or asking
for what I think about this,because they view me, as someone
(07:10):
who's done, I don't want to saythat they view me as a hero
there has I am no hero guys,like I struggle and fail every
single freaking day, okay, but Ido have the power to pursue, I
do have the power to keep going.
And I'm like, half of thisalignment now feels so good.
Because people are recognizingthat like you are recognizing
(07:33):
that. And you are now coming tome to like, like validate that I
am aligned, because I'm doingwhat feels really good. It feels
really good to be able to helpsomeone turn a dream into
reality, it feels impactful. Itdoesn't feel like a transaction,
it doesn't feel like here's mymoney, will you just help me
(07:55):
like that is not how I roll, Iwant to be invested in it, I
want to like become a partner ina sense, because I want us to
have this collaborative effort.
So yesterday, I was actually ina
community call. And we talked alot about our dreams and who we
(08:15):
are and what we do and all ofthese things. And you know,
as ever, every time that someoneasks what I do every time that
someone asks, So what's what'sthis what a fabulous up to,
every time I am, you know,developing this elevator speech
on the fly, you know, like, I'mjust kind of like spitting out
(08:36):
all these words, and I feel likeit yesterday and in the last few
weeks that elevator speech orthat description is becoming
more and more the same eachtime. And what that tells me is
that I am finally findingalignment. Now that is not to
(08:56):
say that that alignment is notgoing to evolve, okay, so it's
important to recognize that andthat feeling aligned, or
reaching alignment, per se,there is no reaching alignment,
okay, you can find alignment,and you can do whatever you want
with the alignment. Butalignment has to evolve. Okay.
And so what I'm realizing isthat I have finally figured out
(09:19):
what it is that I am doing withthis company that like the
future plans, the goal, theimpact that I want to make. And
I think that it's important torecognize that that doesn't
happen overnight. So so many ofyou come to me asking, not flat
(09:40):
out asking for a one way trip tosuccess but
like society has instilled in usthat these destinations are so
important. And what I hate aboutthat is that you want like you
want like a one time solutionjust like I'm going to pay for
it and I want to have itsolved. And trust me, I get it.
I am also that way about many,many things. But
(10:06):
it's it tells me something thatthis needs to be talked about
more. Because when you come tome asking for help, and you come
to me asking for a way to reachsuccess, you got to know that
it's in the journey, you got toknow that there is no quick
answer. There's no quicksolution. It is all about
(10:28):
putting in the work, putting inthe discipline. It's all about
that journey. So back to thatfriend that came to me a couple
of weeks ago with this idea. Andyou know, she came scared. And
you know what, guys, I am aprofessional hype girl. Like, I
literally love being your hypegirl. She didn't want to send
(10:50):
this text message. She didn'twant to send this email. She was
very scared. And, you know, Ibrought her to the sense of what
do you have to lose? Like,literally, this is the beginning
for you. What do you have tolose? Okay, and she sent this
email against probably everywill. She had, she said this
email. And a couple days wentby. And she instantly went into
(11:13):
that rabbit hole of they ghostedme. They're not interested, what
what am I doing? Who am I evenand I said, Stop, for one
second, just stop.
Even if they don't get back toyou, and they don't want you to
be a part of this event, or theydon't have a space available to
add you to this event. What didyou learn? What did you push
(11:35):
yourself to do? You learned thatsending the email, didn't like
the world did not end becauseyou sent that email. Not
everybody's gonna get back toyou. And that's okay. But the
fact that she took the step,past fear, and she took that
step into what could have beensomething was something she
(11:56):
wasn't recognizing. It wassomething she wasn't
celebrating. And so of course, Ireminded her of that, and guess
what, the very next day,possibly even later that day, I
don't actually remember, theygot back to her. And they got
back to her wanting her to be apart of the event. Okay. And so
she's, she's celebrating, she'sdoing all the things and she's,
(12:16):
she's just like, Oh, my God, Iwould have never gotten here, if
I would not have sent thatemail. Okay. So the reason I'm
telling you this story isbecause it's okay, if you don't
feel aligned right now. It'sokay. If you don't feel like you
are in your purpose, right now,if you're not doing the things
that maybe you're meant to do,that's okay. Recognizing that is
(12:38):
the first step. That's okay.
There are seasons for all ofthis. But the only way that you
are going to find your purposeor find what you're meant to do,
or find the thing that you love,is to try, you've got to put one
foot in front of the other. Soif there's one thing that I can
get across to you today, I wantyou to think about any of the
(12:59):
fears that are holding you backany of the decisions that need
to be made in the near futurethat are related to your life,
your business, it actuallydoesn't matter what they're
related to think about thenumber one fear on your mind
right now. Okay, I want you totake a second think about the
greatest fear you have rightnow.
(13:23):
Now think about all of thethings that could go wrong.
Think about it, think about allthe things that could go wrong.
Now, take a step.
Do it anyway, send the email, dothe damn thing. Because you're
never going to know if you don'tthe pain of regret the pain of
(13:48):
wondering what if wondering whatwould have happened if you would
have just sent the freakingemail. That pain is way worse
than not getting asked to be apart of that event. That pain of
wondering if you could have madeit will haunt you, it will
linger. So do not put yourselfin that position. I want you to
(14:13):
take this step today doesn'thave to be a full step. It
doesn't have to be a full onsolution for anything. But take
a freaking Step. Send thefreaking email. And if you're
having trouble with that, youknow where to find me. I promise
I am your forever professionalhype girl. Take the damn Step.
(14:34):
Send the email. I'll chat withyou soon.
All right, babe. I hope youreally enjoyed today's
conversation. I'm super curiousto know what your biggest
takeaway was from today. So goahead and share this episode on
social media. Make sure you tagme at this way to fabulous and
let me know what you connectedwith. What did you learn from
(14:54):
the episode and what action itemare you going to take today?
Until next time, guysKeep pushing keep dreaming and
let's keep on redefiningfabulous chatroom guys
Hello, hello, welcome back to another episode of redefining
fabulous, today is going to bejust a nice short and quick
episode. And I'm really justkind of want to share a recent
story with you because it kindof it kind of made me think
about things a little bitdifferently. And I just kind of
wanted to share it with youguys. Because I think that you
(01:11):
might also relate to this. So Ithink a lot of times in our
businesses in our life, for thatmatter. We are by far the
biggest things holding ourselvesback. So when you look at a
situation and you think aboutlike why you can't do it, a lot
of that is coming from thatmindset of I can't do it because
(01:36):
it's going to be hard, I can'tdo it, because I might fail. I
can't do it because of whatpeople might think whatever it
is. But I want you to kind oflike think twice about that. I
want you to kind of reframe thata little bit. Because recently,
I had a new client come to mewho has actually been a friend
for a really long time. And shehas this amazing idea to start
(02:01):
this new business. And you know,like all of us, she was afraid
to fail, she was afraid of allof the things that could go
wrong. She was afraid of feelinglike an imposter. She was she
was just afraid, right? You, youget that you've been there,
we've all been afraid ofsomething in our life. So being
scared is okay. I fully believein being scared. Because if
(02:23):
you're scared, if you have fear,that means that you're actually
attempting to pursue something,right, you're actually thinking
about the chance of what couldgo right. Okay. So I fully
believe that the universe has away of speaking to us, the
universe has a way of telling usand pushing us and giving us
(02:45):
those visceral feelings to moveforward and pursue something. So
about three years ago, I was ina position of basically starting
my life over I had to make somany decisions about my future,
and to really kind of decidewhat I wanted to do with my
life, my career. And in thatseason, for me, there was a lot
(03:06):
of fear, there was a lot ofworry about all the things that
could go on, like literally allthe things would keep me up at
night. And I would wonder andsay a lot of like, what if, but,
and then, you know, over time,that started to change a little
bit, I started to listen to alot of self development
(03:27):
podcasts, I started to reallyjust kind of like dive into
personal development. And youknow, some of the key pieces
that I took out of that seasonwas that alignment is like this
thing that you can't see. Butwhen you when it's right, like
when things are aligned, youfeel it, you know that it's
(03:50):
right, but there's no way foryou to find that in a book,
there's no way for you to Googlewhat your purpose is in life,
the only way to actually findthat out is to pursue it is to
try things is to see what feelsgood to see what doesn't see
what works. See what you learnalong the way. And, you know, I
had a lot of mixed feelingsabout alignment in general,
(04:12):
because in my past life of beingin the wedding industry, I
thought at that time that I wasaligned, I felt like I was doing
what I was good at what I wasmeant to do. And looking back
because you know, hindsight is2020 You know, looking back, I
was doing things that I wasgoing at for a long time and I
(04:33):
was not being pushed to reallyfigure out what the purpose was.
I had no idea what purpose evenmeant at that point, right? All
I knew is that I had found acareer I had built a business
and it was succeeding. It wasmaking money it was becoming,
you know, popular in my area.
And, you know, looking back if Ihad known the things that I know
(04:54):
now, I probably would haverealized that it wasn't aligned
for meBut the only way out is through,
right? The only way out is to dosomething and figure out that
that's not for you. So threeyears ago, when I decided to,
you know, sort of explore whatbusiness was going to look like,
(05:15):
for me moving forward, I knewthat I had all of these skills,
I knew I had years under mybelt, as a photographer, a
designer.
I didn't really realize it atthe time, but I've had a lot of
social media strategy under mybelt over the all those years of
growing those companies, I hadall of these skills, but I had
no idea how to put themtogether. So instead of, you
(05:38):
know, sitting around andwondering what if which I did
plenty of by the way, but when Ifinally made that decision to
really put the, like one foot infront of the other, you know, I
started to try things. And Istarted to see what made sense
and what fit. And in the lastyear, I've found the most
clarity and alignment I haveever, ever found how I've ever
(06:03):
felt, I've never felt as alignedas I am right now. And I think
it's really important to talkabout alignment as a sense of
feeling. Because I think thattoo often, we are chasing
something, we're chasingsomething, maybe it's not even
always tangible. But we'rechasing something specific. And
I think that the problem thereis that we focus so much on the
(06:24):
destination that we're trying toget to that we kind of just go
through the motions during theday along the way. And we're not
really picking up the details,we're not really picking up the
pieces of development oflearning along the way. And so a
couple of weeks ago, when thisfriend came to me and asking,
just for my opinion, for my helpall of these things, you know,
(06:48):
it was something for me that Ireally started to realize that
like, not only am I feeling thisalignment, but so are you, the
people who are coming to me, orasking for my advice, or asking
for what I think about this,because they view me, as someone
(07:10):
who's done, I don't want to saythat they view me as a hero
there has I am no hero guys,like I struggle and fail every
single freaking day, okay, but Ido have the power to pursue, I
do have the power to keep going.
And I'm like, half of thisalignment now feels so good.
Because people are recognizingthat like you are recognizing
(07:33):
that. And you are now coming tome to like, like validate that I
am aligned, because I'm doingwhat feels really good. It feels
really good to be able to helpsomeone turn a dream into
reality, it feels impactful. Itdoesn't feel like a transaction,
it doesn't feel like here's mymoney, will you just help me
(07:55):
like that is not how I roll, Iwant to be invested in it, I
want to like become a partner ina sense, because I want us to
have this collaborative effort.
So yesterday, I was actually ina
community call. And we talked alot about our dreams and who we
(08:15):
are and what we do and all ofthese things. And you know,
as ever, every time that someoneasks what I do every time that
someone asks, So what's what'sthis what a fabulous up to,
every time I am, you know,developing this elevator speech
on the fly, you know, like, I'mjust kind of like spitting out
(08:36):
all these words, and I feel likeit yesterday and in the last few
weeks that elevator speech orthat description is becoming
more and more the same eachtime. And what that tells me is
that I am finally findingalignment. Now that is not to
(08:56):
say that that alignment is notgoing to evolve, okay, so it's
important to recognize that andthat feeling aligned, or
reaching alignment, per se,there is no reaching alignment,
okay, you can find alignment,and you can do whatever you want
with the alignment. Butalignment has to evolve. Okay.
And so what I'm realizing isthat I have finally figured out
(09:19):
what it is that I am doing withthis company that like the
future plans, the goal, theimpact that I want to make. And
I think that it's important torecognize that that doesn't
happen overnight. So so many ofyou come to me asking, not flat
(09:40):
out asking for a one way trip tosuccess but
like society has instilled in usthat these destinations are so
important. And what I hate aboutthat is that you want like you
want like a one time solutionjust like I'm going to pay for
it and I want to have itsolved. And trust me, I get it.
I am also that way about many,many things. But
(10:06):
it's it tells me something thatthis needs to be talked about
more. Because when you come tome asking for help, and you come
to me asking for a way to reachsuccess, you got to know that
it's in the journey, you got toknow that there is no quick
answer. There's no quicksolution. It is all about
(10:28):
putting in the work, putting inthe discipline. It's all about
that journey. So back to thatfriend that came to me a couple
of weeks ago with this idea. Andyou know, she came scared. And
you know what, guys, I am aprofessional hype girl. Like, I
literally love being your hypegirl. She didn't want to send
(10:50):
this text message. She didn'twant to send this email. She was
very scared. And, you know, Ibrought her to the sense of what
do you have to lose? Like,literally, this is the beginning
for you. What do you have tolose? Okay, and she sent this
email against probably everywill. She had, she said this
email. And a couple days wentby. And she instantly went into
(11:13):
that rabbit hole of they ghostedme. They're not interested, what
what am I doing? Who am I evenand I said, Stop, for one
second, just stop.
Even if they don't get back toyou, and they don't want you to
be a part of this event, or theydon't have a space available to
add you to this event. What didyou learn? What did you push
(11:35):
yourself to do? You learned thatsending the email, didn't like
the world did not end becauseyou sent that email. Not
everybody's gonna get back toyou. And that's okay. But the
fact that she took the step,past fear, and she took that
step into what could have beensomething was something she
(11:56):
wasn't recognizing. It wassomething she wasn't
celebrating. And so of course, Ireminded her of that, and guess
what, the very next day,possibly even later that day, I
don't actually remember, theygot back to her. And they got
back to her wanting her to be apart of the event. Okay. And so
she's, she's celebrating, she'sdoing all the things and she's,
(12:16):
she's just like, Oh, my God, Iwould have never gotten here, if
I would not have sent thatemail. Okay. So the reason I'm
telling you this story isbecause it's okay, if you don't
feel aligned right now. It'sokay. If you don't feel like you
are in your purpose, right now,if you're not doing the things
that maybe you're meant to do,that's okay. Recognizing that is
(12:38):
the first step. That's okay.
There are seasons for all ofthis. But the only way that you
are going to find your purposeor find what you're meant to do,
or find the thing that you love,is to try, you've got to put one
foot in front of the other. Soif there's one thing that I can
get across to you today, I wantyou to think about any of the
(12:59):
fears that are holding you backany of the decisions that need
to be made in the near futurethat are related to your life,
your business, it actuallydoesn't matter what they're
related to think about thenumber one fear on your mind
right now. Okay, I want you totake a second think about the
greatest fear you have rightnow.
(13:23):
Now think about all of thethings that could go wrong.
Think about it, think about allthe things that could go wrong.
Now, take a step.
Do it anyway, send the email, dothe damn thing. Because you're
never going to know if you don'tthe pain of regret the pain of
(13:48):
wondering what if wondering whatwould have happened if you would
have just sent the freakingemail. That pain is way worse
than not getting asked to be apart of that event. That pain of
wondering if you could have madeit will haunt you, it will
linger. So do not put yourselfin that position. I want you to
(14:13):
take this step today doesn'thave to be a full step. It
doesn't have to be a full onsolution for anything. But take
a freaking Step. Send thefreaking email. And if you're
having trouble with that, youknow where to find me. I promise
I am your forever professionalhype girl. Take the damn Step.
(14:34):
Send the email. I'll chat withyou soon.
All right, babe. I hope youreally enjoyed today's
conversation. I'm super curiousto know what your biggest
takeaway was from today. So goahead and share this episode on
social media. Make sure you tagme at this way to fabulous and
let me know what you connectedwith. What did you learn from
(14:54):
the episode and what action itemare you going to take today?
Until next time, guysKeep pushing keep dreaming and
let's keep on redefiningfabulous chatroom guys
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