June 2, 2023 • 27 mins
Are you subconsciously waiting for permission to make a radical change in your life or business? This episode is your permission.
We get so caught up in what we’re known for, we feel like we have to stay. At any time you can change your mind. YOU are the one stopping. WE are in charge of our own evolution. It's time to act like it.
A͟l͟s͟o͟ m͟e͟n͟t͟i͟o͟n͟e͟d͟ o͟n͟ t͟h͟i͟s͟ e͟p͟i͟s͟o͟d͟e͟:
➡️ Limited Edition PRIDE Neon Notebooks
➡️ New services launching July 1st
𝙐𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙚, 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙥𝙪𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙚𝙩'𝙨 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙤𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙖𝙗𝙪𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙨.
💕 Stay Fabulous with Jessi:
✨Website
✨Instagram
✨Facebook
✨Pinterest
✨LinkedIn
✨YouTube
✨Podcast
✨Entrepreneur Gift Shoppe
👯♀️ Join my FREE community for entrepreneurs for more tips, tricks, collaboration, accountability and live trainings
Does your brand new a refresh? ➡️ TAKE THE QUIZ!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jessi Cabanin (00:04):
Hey girl, hey, are you ready for some real
talk? If you are a femaleentrepreneur who has ever felt
like a total failure, or maybeeven a frequent flyer of
imposter syndrome, this podcastis for you. I'm your host,
Jesse, a millennial businessowner, boy mom and creative
genius helping women bring theirbusiness dreams to life. After
10 years of building numerouscreative brands from the ground
(00:25):
up, I'm ready to get real aboutwhat actually goes on behind the
scenes of building your very ownempire feel you're opening up
brand new mindset for me. And Ireally want that for you too,
because honestly, I am just soover society's definition of
what it means to live asuccessful life. So together, we
are going to create and navigatea version of success that works
(00:46):
for you. Together, we canredefine fabulous. Hello, hello.
Welcome to another episode ofredefining fabulous, I am super
excited for you to be here todaybecause it is a really juicy
topic. Okay, this is somethingthat has been weighing on me a
lot lately. And I'm alsonoticing that it's weighing on a
lot of you guys as well. So Ithink it's really important that
(01:09):
we kind of open the conversationto talk about it because it's
not going to just go away,right. But before we dive into
that, how about just a couple ofupdates, right, so it is
summertime like holy summertimein Chicago right now it is like
freaking 90 degrees outsidetoday. I am like dying. And so I
(01:29):
will be inside most of the time.
But so I'm really excited aboutsummer, I really do love summer
minus like when I'm sweating myballs off and the heat, but I
really just like to see a lot ofthe color. Even though the grass
is like not its brightest shadeof green, I was actually driving
home from taking Jackson toschool today. And I said to
(01:50):
myself, like God my eyes likeeverything is so not vibrant,
like everything is so pastel.
And the reality of that was thatthe grass and desperately needs
water like it has not rained inso long here. And so things are
just, you know, kind of startingto dry out. And I won't go
really deep into this. But itreally kind of made me think
(02:11):
about like us as humans and youknow our lives and our
businesses and how important itis to make sure that we are like
maintaining and nourishing whatwe're doing to be able to keep
going right, so I won't go intothat it was just kind of like a
random thought I had while I wasdriving this morning. But I'm
really excited for summer forone other reason. So I last
(02:35):
year, maybe two years ago,actually, we met this family
that was getting ready to moveto Tennessee. And they were
getting rid of like a bunch oftheir stuff, right, they had
some outdoor furniture that theywere getting rid of. And we got
some like killer deals on somestuff for the house. So what
I've done now is I we are likein the process of rehabbing it,
(02:56):
because it needs a little bit ofwork to like sand it and paint
it and just kind of get it backto looking really nice. But for
right now it is like my littlefixer upper oasis. And we've got
a bunch of plants over there,we've got a big umbrella. And
we've got all these cushions forthese chairs and couch or
loveseat. And so what I love todo right now that it's warm
(03:21):
enough is to go outside firstthing in the morning, and that's
my little oasis to, you know,wake up, take my coffee out
there, take my daily and weeklyplanner out there. And also just
a notebook to kind of just jotthings down and get them out of
my head. Because I find that itclears up my brain a little bit
(03:41):
for the day ahead. And it allowsme to, like laser focus a little
bit better in spurts on thethings that I actually need to
take care of it. I mean,realistically, it kind of. It's
kind of like my own medicationfor my squirrel brain. Because
if I don't kind of dump thesethings out, all day long, while
(04:02):
I'm at my desk trying to getsomething done, I have all these
squirrely thoughts. And I'mthinking about like literally
everything from A to Z. And sothis is something that I have
found to really help me justkind of like clear up my brain
to be productive during the day.
So I'm really excited aboutthat. Minus the fact that like
days like today when it is 90degrees out this morning, it was
already like 80 degrees by thetime I was out there. So
(04:26):
apparently I need to get outthere a little bit earlier. But
that is something that I just itreally, really lights me up this
time of year. Also exciting isthat Jackson is headed to
kindergarten in the fall. So Iam kind of soaking up this like
last couple months of him beingin daycare full time. And so I'm
(04:46):
kind of like soaking it up, butI'm also trying to realistically
prepare myself for the changesthat will come when he goes
there because the time of dayThese are different. And yeah,
just like all of the fun newthings, right. And so every mom
I'm sure is, you know, worriedabout how their kid is going to
(05:09):
transition into a new school.
Tiny bit of backstory, he had alike, adorable best friend and
his daycare. And that bestfriend is actually moving to
Florida. And he is legitimatelydevastated. And as a parent, I'm
just having a really hard timewith like, I don't know, like
consoling him and helping himget through it. I know that he
(05:32):
needs to kind of find his ownway through it. But it's just
really gut wrenching right now.
So it's really exciting thathe's going to kindergarten in
the fall. But I'm also just alittle bit like, nervous, I
guess, about how he's going totransition into it. So we are,
you know, taking this summer tokeep him in daycare full time to
kind of prepare him for being inschool five days a week, because
(05:54):
we are lucky enough that ourdistrict is full time
kindergarten, which I know thatlike a lot of other parents
don't have that luxury.
Apparently, there's a lot ofdistricts that only have half
day or part day or only a coupleof days a week. So I'm very,
very grateful for that. Next onthe list. It is pride month.
Okay, so we actually wereplanning to launch this product
(06:19):
in q3 in July. And somewherealong the way, I decided that
this was actually something thatI'm going to do early I'm going
to do this on Pride Month. Andwhat I did is basically
redesigned one of our one of ourproducts, spoiler alert, it's a
notebook. It's a neon freakingnotebook. Okay, it is like a
(06:40):
badass. And what we did is wecreated a rainbow version of
this notebook. It is soadorable. The pages are blank.
Okay, so there are nine pages ofeach color. So there's a hot
pink hot orange, neon yellow,neon green, neon blue, neon
purple, and the cover of it isactually letterpressed and it is
(07:03):
a an on Bray printing process.
And it's like pink and purple.
And so it's just kind of likethis really pretty rainbow
thing. And in in cursive in thisreally fancy like awesome fun
cursive. It says shit, I willforget. And I don't know if that
hits home for you. But like, Iliterally am obsessed with this
(07:24):
notebook. We actually createdthis notebook back when we had
our stationery company and I wascleaning up some things in the
garage and actually found theletterpress covers and I was
like, oh maybe we are bringingthese back to life. So that is
exciting. I will link those inthe show notes for you. They are
very limited edition there isonly a certain number of them.
(07:46):
We no longer letterpress printin house. So once these are
gone, they are gone. They willnot be restocked. Okay, so check
those out. I will link those inthe notes for you. And the last
major update which you guys aregoing to be hearing a lot more
about is we have a shitload ofthings launching in q3. Okay, so
(08:08):
we have been going crazy behindthe scenes preparing for this.
And yes, I'm saying we okay, Iknow that I've mentioned here
and there, we've been dropping,you know little tidbits. But
yes, we have a team now. And itis the most terrifying and
exciting time in my life. AndI'm not gonna go back real deep
(08:29):
into the kind of like totalbackstory of this. But I had a
million dollar brand at onepoint. And I had employees I
had, what a lot of people thinkis this like successful
destination that they're tryingto reach, I had that I reached
that. And then it all went away,it all went away so much quicker
(08:50):
than it took for us to getthere. And so going into this
season, I've had a lot ofresistance in in building this
team, because I have a littlebit of PTSD from the last time
around. And one thing that hasreally helped me kind of get
through this is to realize thatthe circumstances were very
different. And so back then,when that company went
(09:15):
underwater, I was also a newmom, I was dealing with
postpartum depression, I wasgoing through a divorce. A lot
of things were going on at thattime. And the circumstances were
just very, very different. Andrealistically, had I not gone
(09:35):
through the things that I did atthat point in time. I would not
be the person that I am rightnow. Building what I'm building
right now. Okay, sothat's kind of like a perfect
segue into today's episodeactually, because about a year
ago, I was really kind offeeling a push to change things
up a little bit. And to kind ofclarify my vision a little bit,
and I wouldn't say that I Youreally fully understood what
(10:00):
this poll was. But once Briannaarrived, she is the unicorn, the
father sky, you guys hear me saythis? In a lot of different
social media platforms, you guyswill get to know Brianna, more
in the coming months. But longstory short, Brianna found me
for a client of hers at thetime, she was looking for a
(10:23):
branding photographer for one ofher clients. And she found me on
Google. And so not only did she,you know, refer me to her
client, but she was also like,Yo, I want a piece of this. So
she also reached out, we endedup doing a branding shoot for
her as well. And the more wetalked, we just really there was
just like this magnetic forcethat I literally come out put
(10:45):
into words. And that was likethe beautiful beginning of what
is growing right now. So spoileralert, yes, there is a team
coming in q3. In technicality,they're already here. They're
already doing amazing things.
But we are launching a boatloadof services in q3. So July 1,
(11:10):
that is about a month from now,July 1, get ready for a bunch of
announcements, because we havesome super exciting things
coming down the pipeline. Butwhat I want to talk about today
is, you know, a lot of peoplehave been asking me this as
they're seeing these sneakpeeks. And they're asking, you
know, how did you get to thispoint of exponential growth?
(11:31):
Like, what was your secret?
Everybody wants to know asecret? I talk about this all
the time, everybody, no onewants to know a secret, you guys
there is no fucking secret,okay? If anything, the secret is
try and try again, throw darts,see what sticks, right? You have
to be willing to like putyourself out there and try
things in order to, you know,weed out what's not for you. And
I tell people this all the time,it's easier for you to figure
(11:52):
out what's not for you, or whatyou don't like than it is for
you to figure out what you dolike because as humans, we're
just like, Oh, I love that. Oh,I love that. Oh, I love that.
Oh, I love that. Hello, insertimpostor syndrome here. Okay,
that is one thing that bringsimposter syndrome on so hot and
heavy, because we are constantlylike, Oh, I love what everybody
(12:12):
else is doing. Okay? So ifanything, I've chosen to really
kind of like, reverse thatmindset a little bit and talk
more about what I'm not likingwhat I don't think is a service
to my potential clients. And bydoing that, I'm really starting
to open up the doors of like,how I can actually help people
solve their problems. Okay. Sothe biggest thing that, you
(12:38):
know, I do want to touch on isthat I think as humans and as
women, we have this likesubconscious feeling that we
really want permission, or wereally want someone to validate
our decision, or to tell us likeeither what to do, or like, tell
us that we're doing the rightthing. Right. And maybe you feel
(12:59):
this way, maybe you don't. But Idon't think that I knew in the
moment that I had felt this way.
I think that Hindsight is 2020.
And it's a lot easier now tokind of like think back and
pinpoint some of those feelings.
But after the previous like amega failure, right, and very
afraid to move forward. Veryafraid. Okay. But as I say, you
(13:23):
know, fear is where the magichappens. Fear is where change
and growth happens. But thebigger thing here, I think, is
that I was looking for somebodyto give me permission to move
on, to change things up to, youknow, do whatever that thing is
(13:43):
next. And the thing is, is youdon't need permission. And I
think I knew that I didn't needpermission, but like,
subconsciously, I still wantedpermission. Okay, so I
understood the differencebetween the need and the want,
or I do now. But I think it'sreally important to talk about
the fact that we don't actuallyneed permission to move on.
(14:05):
Okay, sometimes I know, wereally just kind of like need a
voice or a sign to remind usthat it's okay to move on. Okay,
so if anything, I want to bethat sign or that voice for you
today. Okay, it is okay, to walkaway from things that are no
longer serving you. Okay, I'mgonna say it again. Because I
(14:28):
really want you to hear it and Ireally want you to like manifest
it. Okay. It is okay to walkaway from the things that are no
longer serving you. Okay, so ifyou're someone that maybe maybe
you're feeling stuck right now,right, like maybe you're feeling
stuck in who you are right now,maybe what who you are right now
(14:49):
or what you're doing right nowis no longer serving you. It's
no longer moving you towards thegoal, right? A lot of times I
think that we're stuck in who weare now. And we lose the ability
to not be able to be open to whowe can become. Okay. And I can
speak from experience here that,like, I was very worried, again,
(15:12):
hindsight 2020 I don't thinkthat in the moment, I would have
admitted these things or reallyeven, like, realize that these
things were true. But I realizednow that I was very, very
worried about what othersthought about what I was going
to do what I was going tochange, right. I was known for
(15:32):
so long for being a weddingindustry mogul, basically. Okay,
I ran a wedding industry empire,I was known for that. And still
to this day, I get people whoreach out and they're like, oh,
so and so's getting married. I'mlike, Nope. You say married, you
say wedding, I'm out. Okay, I'mjust, I'm done in the wedding
industry, okay. And I think thehardest pill to swallow was
(15:54):
realizing that the change Ineeded to make the radical
change that needed to happen,the first thing that needed to
happen was I needed to stopworrying about what everybody
thought about me switchingindustries about me changing it
up about me chasing a new dream.
Okay, the cool thing aboutdreams is that we can change
them, we can, like, we can testthem, maybe they're not for us,
(16:16):
we can leave it behind, we canwalk away, we can let it go. And
we can move the fuck on to thenext thing. Okay, there is
nothing wrong with walking away,letting go and moving on. Okay,
but when you make that decision,I want you to make that decision
so strongly for yourself, andnot for anybody else. Okay, so I
(16:39):
also think that like, there'ssomething to be said about
alignment here, right. And so Ithink that it's important to
recognize that alignment issomething that takes a more
constant effort and awareness,it is not a one and done type of
thing. Because realistically,alignment changes in every
season of your life and everyseason of your business. Right.
(17:00):
So we have to make sure thatalignment is on our list of
priorities, to really assess andmake decisions around because I
think it's really important. AndI think it's something that a
lot of you take for granted. Ithink it's something that a lot
of you feel like it's adestination type of thing. And I
am one that feels that alignmentis part of the journey.
(17:23):
Alignment is part of therecognize the recognization
alignment as part of arecognizing that things either
feel right or they don't. Right.
Okay. So if you are feelingstuck, right now, I want you to
ask yourself, what story? Areyou telling yourself? Are you
telling yourself that people aregoing to think less of you,
(17:46):
because you are changingindustries? And are you worried
that people are going to thinkthat you are starting at Ground
Zero, you now have zeroexperience, because you're
making a change? I want you torealize that that's a story,
you're telling yourself, okay?
And that story is a choice, thatstory is a choice that you are
(18:06):
telling yourself, instead, youcan make the choice to say,
people may not understand whatI'm doing. But they will write
like, you can look at it more ofa sense that like, I understand
that people are not going toagree with the things that I'm
doing right now. Or that peoplewill not understand why I'm
making such a radical change.
(18:27):
But I'm also takingresponsibility and saying they
will, I will make them No, Iwill educate them as to why I'm
doing this. And they will seethat there was like way more
reasoning to this than justchanging my mind. Like I got
bored. There's way more to itthan that. Okay. And something
(18:47):
else that I think I've realized,in building this team, is that I
never know, I was very, for verylong time a solopreneur. Right,
I did not actually start apartnership in my wedding
invitation company for probablylike six to seven years into my
business. And even then it wasthe two of us minus our
(19:08):
employees and whatever, but Ijust, I'm that type of person
who is good at a lot of things.
And I just do them like I I likemy toxic trait is like it's
fine. I'll just do it. And it'lllike that's a toxic trait. I
recognize that. But I think it'salso important to realize that
the space I'm in now, I'msurrounded by people who pushed
(19:29):
me who make meuncomfortable who asked me
things I don't know the answerto, but I will find them out. So
if you are also in a positionwhere you feel maybe stuck or
you're feeling resistance, oryou're feeling maybe just
confused, like maybe you justneed help in a direction. Are
(19:49):
you surrounding yourself withpeople who drain you or people
who make things easy for you? Orare you surrounding yourself by
people who ask questions andpush you to grow and do things
that you're not comfortablewith, okay? It's important to
know that who you are right nowis not who you have to become.
(20:11):
Okay? It's who you are today,who you were yesterday is who
you were a year ago, who you aretoday. Absolutely not. And if
you don't recognize that that'sa whole nother conversation for
a whole nother day. But I thinkit's important that like, we get
(20:31):
so caught up in what we're knownfor, that we feel like we have
to stay where we're at, okay,it's kind of like a bad
relationship, one, you know,that you might need to get out
of, but it's just, it's who youare right now. And you just feel
like you have to stay at anypoint in time, you are allowed
to change your mind. That isyour choice. You are the one
(20:56):
that is stopping yourself. Okay,we have to recognize that we are
in charge of our own evolution.
Okay, we are in charge of whenwe say no, when we let go. And
when we move the fuck on that isour right, our responsibility,
(21:18):
our decision. Okay. And I feellike as women, we naturally
crave that validation, we cravethat permission. I know, you
know, this. I want you to know,though that it is not meant to
be a like duck type of situationor conversation. Like, I'm not
trying to, like, give you thislike, Duh, I know you want this,
(21:38):
like I know, you know this. ButI also know that more than
likely, you also like me,subconsciously just wish someone
would make a hard decision foryou, or give you permission to
make the decision. That is hard.
But that you know, is right.
Because we always want what'seasier, right? Like, it's easier
(21:58):
for somebody to give uspermission than it is to give
ourselves permission. At leastthat's how I feel. I don't know
if that's how you feel. But Ifeel looking back that it is way
harder to give myself permissionto do something than it is for
someone else to like, validatethat and give me permission to
do it. Okay, the truth is, weare blaming others for not
(22:23):
supporting us. And why is thatbecause it's easier, it is so
much easier to point fingers andblame things on other people.
But the reality is that peoplewho might judge your decision,
or people who might try to talkyou out of a decision that they
don't understand that you'remaking, the reality is that they
don't have the same vision, theyare not you. And that's okay.
(22:47):
It's okay that they don't havethe same vision. But you need to
recognize that, and you need totake yourself out of that, you
know, situation and put yourselfin a situation with people who
maybe do have a similar vision,or do support that decision, or
do have the similar vision thatyou have. Okay. And in different
(23:10):
seasons of life. We all knowthat, like our priorities
change, right? Like, can wenormalize as a business though,
because I feel like you know, inpersonal life, we get married,
and our priorities change. Andthen we have kids and our
priorities change. Right? Can wenormalize that though, because
in business is the same thing.
There are seasons, there are somany seasons are so many ups and
(23:32):
downs. And just like thosepriorities, dreams can change,
alignment can change. Okay. Andwhat I also think is really
important to understand is thatI've had a couple people
recently, actually, you know,talking through their ideas with
me, and you know, basicallytelling me that, you know, what
(23:52):
I'm like what I've done for thelast 10 years has nothing to do
with this, like, change I wantto make it has nothing to do
with it. I don't have what ittakes because I you know, I'm
not prepared. I don't have anyexperience. And here's the
thing, everything you're doingright now, no matter what it has
to do with what you plan onmoving into tomorrow. Everything
(24:15):
that you are doing right now ispreparing you for what's next. I
promise you this, okay? Even ifyou're change your decision,
you're like whatever dreamyou're chasing right now is the
polar opposite of what you'redoing now or have been doing
previously. I freaking promiseyou that what you're doing now
(24:37):
is teaching you so much aboutthe next season you will
absolutely take so many lessonswith you in to the future. Okay,
you are preparing yourself forthe person that you are ready to
become. Now what happens whenYou try on a pair of pants that
(25:00):
like you loved on the hanger oryou loved when you saw it on
Instagram, like, oh, that model?
Oh yeah, I have to have those.
And then you get them and youput them on and you're just
like, Nope. Okay, what do youdo? You you look for a different
pair, you you look for somethingdifferent, you decide that
wasn't for you. Okay? Stop beingafraid to try something else on,
(25:21):
pay attention to how oftenyou're trying something new.
Because when you're tryingsomething new, is how you are
going to differentiate what ismeant for you, and what you're
going to move on from. Okay,very important to recognize your
own position. If you think thatthey're trying to tell you who
(25:44):
you are, if you think that youare making decisions now, based
on you know, all of everythingthat everybody's saying. It's
because you are letting them.
Okay, I want you to sit withthat because I really want you
to think about all of thedecisions that you're making.
(26:04):
Right now. For future you. Okay,are you making decisions?
Because other people are tryingto change your mind? Or trying
to tell you who you are? Or whatyou're meant to do? Or are you
making decisions because youknow, in your gut, in an
intuitive feeling that this iswhat you are supposed to be
(26:26):
doing? Because those are twototally different decisions. And
I will tell you from experiencethat the decisions you make
based on what everybody elsethinks is a roller coaster you
do not want to be on. Okay, itis a roller coaster, that you
get off puking because youactually completely lost sight
(26:48):
of the goal of yourself of yourown intuition. Like you have
lost sight of all of that. Okay,so if anything if you get
anything out of today's episode,I want you to leave with this. I
am giving you permission today.
Tomorrow, yesterday, I don'teven care but I am giving you
permission to say no to thethings that are no longer
(27:13):
serving you to let go of them todream big and to move the fuck
on. I'm rooting for you. You'vetotally got this. All right,
babe. I hope you really enjoyedtoday's conversation. I'm super
curious to know what yourbiggest takeaway was from today.
So go ahead and share thisepisode on social media. Make
(27:35):
sure you tag me at this way tofabulous and let me know what
you connected with. What did youlearn from the episode and what
action item are you going totake today? Until next time,
guys, keep pushing, keepdreaming. And let's keep on
redefining fabulous chatter guys
Hey girl, hey, are you ready for some real
talk? If you are a femaleentrepreneur who has ever felt
like a total failure, or maybeeven a frequent flyer of
imposter syndrome, this podcastis for you. I'm your host,
Jesse, a millennial businessowner, boy mom and creative
genius helping women bring theirbusiness dreams to life. After
10 years of building numerouscreative brands from the ground
(00:25):
up, I'm ready to get real aboutwhat actually goes on behind the
scenes of building your very ownempire feel you're opening up
brand new mindset for me. And Ireally want that for you too,
because honestly, I am just soover society's definition of
what it means to live asuccessful life. So together, we
are going to create and navigatea version of success that works
(00:46):
for you. Together, we canredefine fabulous. Hello, hello.
Welcome to another episode ofredefining fabulous, I am super
excited for you to be here todaybecause it is a really juicy
topic. Okay, this is somethingthat has been weighing on me a
lot lately. And I'm alsonoticing that it's weighing on a
lot of you guys as well. So Ithink it's really important that
(01:09):
we kind of open the conversationto talk about it because it's
not going to just go away,right. But before we dive into
that, how about just a couple ofupdates, right, so it is
summertime like holy summertimein Chicago right now it is like
freaking 90 degrees outsidetoday. I am like dying. And so I
(01:29):
will be inside most of the time.
But so I'm really excited aboutsummer, I really do love summer
minus like when I'm sweating myballs off and the heat, but I
really just like to see a lot ofthe color. Even though the grass
is like not its brightest shadeof green, I was actually driving
home from taking Jackson toschool today. And I said to
(01:50):
myself, like God my eyes likeeverything is so not vibrant,
like everything is so pastel.
And the reality of that was thatthe grass and desperately needs
water like it has not rained inso long here. And so things are
just, you know, kind of startingto dry out. And I won't go
really deep into this. But itreally kind of made me think
(02:11):
about like us as humans and youknow our lives and our
businesses and how important itis to make sure that we are like
maintaining and nourishing whatwe're doing to be able to keep
going right, so I won't go intothat it was just kind of like a
random thought I had while I wasdriving this morning. But I'm
really excited for summer forone other reason. So I last
(02:35):
year, maybe two years ago,actually, we met this family
that was getting ready to moveto Tennessee. And they were
getting rid of like a bunch oftheir stuff, right, they had
some outdoor furniture that theywere getting rid of. And we got
some like killer deals on somestuff for the house. So what
I've done now is I we are likein the process of rehabbing it,
(02:56):
because it needs a little bit ofwork to like sand it and paint
it and just kind of get it backto looking really nice. But for
right now it is like my littlefixer upper oasis. And we've got
a bunch of plants over there,we've got a big umbrella. And
we've got all these cushions forthese chairs and couch or
loveseat. And so what I love todo right now that it's warm
(03:21):
enough is to go outside firstthing in the morning, and that's
my little oasis to, you know,wake up, take my coffee out
there, take my daily and weeklyplanner out there. And also just
a notebook to kind of just jotthings down and get them out of
my head. Because I find that itclears up my brain a little bit
(03:41):
for the day ahead. And it allowsme to, like laser focus a little
bit better in spurts on thethings that I actually need to
take care of it. I mean,realistically, it kind of. It's
kind of like my own medicationfor my squirrel brain. Because
if I don't kind of dump thesethings out, all day long, while
(04:02):
I'm at my desk trying to getsomething done, I have all these
squirrely thoughts. And I'mthinking about like literally
everything from A to Z. And sothis is something that I have
found to really help me justkind of like clear up my brain
to be productive during the day.
So I'm really excited aboutthat. Minus the fact that like
days like today when it is 90degrees out this morning, it was
already like 80 degrees by thetime I was out there. So
(04:26):
apparently I need to get outthere a little bit earlier. But
that is something that I just itreally, really lights me up this
time of year. Also exciting isthat Jackson is headed to
kindergarten in the fall. So Iam kind of soaking up this like
last couple months of him beingin daycare full time. And so I'm
(04:46):
kind of like soaking it up, butI'm also trying to realistically
prepare myself for the changesthat will come when he goes
there because the time of dayThese are different. And yeah,
just like all of the fun newthings, right. And so every mom
I'm sure is, you know, worriedabout how their kid is going to
(05:09):
transition into a new school.
Tiny bit of backstory, he had alike, adorable best friend and
his daycare. And that bestfriend is actually moving to
Florida. And he is legitimatelydevastated. And as a parent, I'm
just having a really hard timewith like, I don't know, like
consoling him and helping himget through it. I know that he
(05:32):
needs to kind of find his ownway through it. But it's just
really gut wrenching right now.
So it's really exciting thathe's going to kindergarten in
the fall. But I'm also just alittle bit like, nervous, I
guess, about how he's going totransition into it. So we are,
you know, taking this summer tokeep him in daycare full time to
kind of prepare him for being inschool five days a week, because
(05:54):
we are lucky enough that ourdistrict is full time
kindergarten, which I know thatlike a lot of other parents
don't have that luxury.
Apparently, there's a lot ofdistricts that only have half
day or part day or only a coupleof days a week. So I'm very,
very grateful for that. Next onthe list. It is pride month.
Okay, so we actually wereplanning to launch this product
(06:19):
in q3 in July. And somewherealong the way, I decided that
this was actually something thatI'm going to do early I'm going
to do this on Pride Month. Andwhat I did is basically
redesigned one of our one of ourproducts, spoiler alert, it's a
notebook. It's a neon freakingnotebook. Okay, it is like a
(06:40):
badass. And what we did is wecreated a rainbow version of
this notebook. It is soadorable. The pages are blank.
Okay, so there are nine pages ofeach color. So there's a hot
pink hot orange, neon yellow,neon green, neon blue, neon
purple, and the cover of it isactually letterpressed and it is
(07:03):
a an on Bray printing process.
And it's like pink and purple.
And so it's just kind of likethis really pretty rainbow
thing. And in in cursive in thisreally fancy like awesome fun
cursive. It says shit, I willforget. And I don't know if that
hits home for you. But like, Iliterally am obsessed with this
(07:24):
notebook. We actually createdthis notebook back when we had
our stationery company and I wascleaning up some things in the
garage and actually found theletterpress covers and I was
like, oh maybe we are bringingthese back to life. So that is
exciting. I will link those inthe show notes for you. They are
very limited edition there isonly a certain number of them.
(07:46):
We no longer letterpress printin house. So once these are
gone, they are gone. They willnot be restocked. Okay, so check
those out. I will link those inthe notes for you. And the last
major update which you guys aregoing to be hearing a lot more
about is we have a shitload ofthings launching in q3. Okay, so
(08:08):
we have been going crazy behindthe scenes preparing for this.
And yes, I'm saying we okay, Iknow that I've mentioned here
and there, we've been dropping,you know little tidbits. But
yes, we have a team now. And itis the most terrifying and
exciting time in my life. AndI'm not gonna go back real deep
(08:29):
into the kind of like totalbackstory of this. But I had a
million dollar brand at onepoint. And I had employees I
had, what a lot of people thinkis this like successful
destination that they're tryingto reach, I had that I reached
that. And then it all went away,it all went away so much quicker
(08:50):
than it took for us to getthere. And so going into this
season, I've had a lot ofresistance in in building this
team, because I have a littlebit of PTSD from the last time
around. And one thing that hasreally helped me kind of get
through this is to realize thatthe circumstances were very
different. And so back then,when that company went
(09:15):
underwater, I was also a newmom, I was dealing with
postpartum depression, I wasgoing through a divorce. A lot
of things were going on at thattime. And the circumstances were
just very, very different. Andrealistically, had I not gone
(09:35):
through the things that I did atthat point in time. I would not
be the person that I am rightnow. Building what I'm building
right now. Okay, sothat's kind of like a perfect
segue into today's episodeactually, because about a year
ago, I was really kind offeeling a push to change things
up a little bit. And to kind ofclarify my vision a little bit,
and I wouldn't say that I Youreally fully understood what
(10:00):
this poll was. But once Briannaarrived, she is the unicorn, the
father sky, you guys hear me saythis? In a lot of different
social media platforms, you guyswill get to know Brianna, more
in the coming months. But longstory short, Brianna found me
for a client of hers at thetime, she was looking for a
(10:23):
branding photographer for one ofher clients. And she found me on
Google. And so not only did she,you know, refer me to her
client, but she was also like,Yo, I want a piece of this. So
she also reached out, we endedup doing a branding shoot for
her as well. And the more wetalked, we just really there was
just like this magnetic forcethat I literally come out put
(10:45):
into words. And that was likethe beautiful beginning of what
is growing right now. So spoileralert, yes, there is a team
coming in q3. In technicality,they're already here. They're
already doing amazing things.
But we are launching a boatloadof services in q3. So July 1,
(11:10):
that is about a month from now,July 1, get ready for a bunch of
announcements, because we havesome super exciting things
coming down the pipeline. Butwhat I want to talk about today
is, you know, a lot of peoplehave been asking me this as
they're seeing these sneakpeeks. And they're asking, you
know, how did you get to thispoint of exponential growth?
(11:31):
Like, what was your secret?
Everybody wants to know asecret? I talk about this all
the time, everybody, no onewants to know a secret, you guys
there is no fucking secret,okay? If anything, the secret is
try and try again, throw darts,see what sticks, right? You have
to be willing to like putyourself out there and try
things in order to, you know,weed out what's not for you. And
I tell people this all the time,it's easier for you to figure
(11:52):
out what's not for you, or whatyou don't like than it is for
you to figure out what you dolike because as humans, we're
just like, Oh, I love that. Oh,I love that. Oh, I love that.
Oh, I love that. Hello, insertimpostor syndrome here. Okay,
that is one thing that bringsimposter syndrome on so hot and
heavy, because we are constantlylike, Oh, I love what everybody
(12:12):
else is doing. Okay? So ifanything, I've chosen to really
kind of like, reverse thatmindset a little bit and talk
more about what I'm not likingwhat I don't think is a service
to my potential clients. And bydoing that, I'm really starting
to open up the doors of like,how I can actually help people
solve their problems. Okay. Sothe biggest thing that, you
(12:38):
know, I do want to touch on isthat I think as humans and as
women, we have this likesubconscious feeling that we
really want permission, or wereally want someone to validate
our decision, or to tell us likeeither what to do, or like, tell
us that we're doing the rightthing. Right. And maybe you feel
(12:59):
this way, maybe you don't. But Idon't think that I knew in the
moment that I had felt this way.
I think that Hindsight is 2020.
And it's a lot easier now tokind of like think back and
pinpoint some of those feelings.
But after the previous like amega failure, right, and very
afraid to move forward. Veryafraid. Okay. But as I say, you
(13:23):
know, fear is where the magichappens. Fear is where change
and growth happens. But thebigger thing here, I think, is
that I was looking for somebodyto give me permission to move
on, to change things up to, youknow, do whatever that thing is
(13:43):
next. And the thing is, is youdon't need permission. And I
think I knew that I didn't needpermission, but like,
subconsciously, I still wantedpermission. Okay, so I
understood the differencebetween the need and the want,
or I do now. But I think it'sreally important to talk about
the fact that we don't actuallyneed permission to move on.
(14:05):
Okay, sometimes I know, wereally just kind of like need a
voice or a sign to remind usthat it's okay to move on. Okay,
so if anything, I want to bethat sign or that voice for you
today. Okay, it is okay, to walkaway from things that are no
longer serving you. Okay, I'mgonna say it again. Because I
(14:28):
really want you to hear it and Ireally want you to like manifest
it. Okay. It is okay to walkaway from the things that are no
longer serving you. Okay, so ifyou're someone that maybe maybe
you're feeling stuck right now,right, like maybe you're feeling
stuck in who you are right now,maybe what who you are right now
(14:49):
or what you're doing right nowis no longer serving you. It's
no longer moving you towards thegoal, right? A lot of times I
think that we're stuck in who weare now. And we lose the ability
to not be able to be open to whowe can become. Okay. And I can
speak from experience here that,like, I was very worried, again,
(15:12):
hindsight 2020 I don't thinkthat in the moment, I would have
admitted these things or reallyeven, like, realize that these
things were true. But I realizednow that I was very, very
worried about what othersthought about what I was going
to do what I was going tochange, right. I was known for
(15:32):
so long for being a weddingindustry mogul, basically. Okay,
I ran a wedding industry empire,I was known for that. And still
to this day, I get people whoreach out and they're like, oh,
so and so's getting married. I'mlike, Nope. You say married, you
say wedding, I'm out. Okay, I'mjust, I'm done in the wedding
industry, okay. And I think thehardest pill to swallow was
(15:54):
realizing that the change Ineeded to make the radical
change that needed to happen,the first thing that needed to
happen was I needed to stopworrying about what everybody
thought about me switchingindustries about me changing it
up about me chasing a new dream.
Okay, the cool thing aboutdreams is that we can change
them, we can, like, we can testthem, maybe they're not for us,
(16:16):
we can leave it behind, we canwalk away, we can let it go. And
we can move the fuck on to thenext thing. Okay, there is
nothing wrong with walking away,letting go and moving on. Okay,
but when you make that decision,I want you to make that decision
so strongly for yourself, andnot for anybody else. Okay, so I
(16:39):
also think that like, there'ssomething to be said about
alignment here, right. And so Ithink that it's important to
recognize that alignment issomething that takes a more
constant effort and awareness,it is not a one and done type of
thing. Because realistically,alignment changes in every
season of your life and everyseason of your business. Right.
(17:00):
So we have to make sure thatalignment is on our list of
priorities, to really assess andmake decisions around because I
think it's really important. AndI think it's something that a
lot of you take for granted. Ithink it's something that a lot
of you feel like it's adestination type of thing. And I
am one that feels that alignmentis part of the journey.
(17:23):
Alignment is part of therecognize the recognization
alignment as part of arecognizing that things either
feel right or they don't. Right.
Okay. So if you are feelingstuck, right now, I want you to
ask yourself, what story? Areyou telling yourself? Are you
telling yourself that people aregoing to think less of you,
(17:46):
because you are changingindustries? And are you worried
that people are going to thinkthat you are starting at Ground
Zero, you now have zeroexperience, because you're
making a change? I want you torealize that that's a story,
you're telling yourself, okay?
And that story is a choice, thatstory is a choice that you are
(18:06):
telling yourself, instead, youcan make the choice to say,
people may not understand whatI'm doing. But they will write
like, you can look at it more ofa sense that like, I understand
that people are not going toagree with the things that I'm
doing right now. Or that peoplewill not understand why I'm
making such a radical change.
(18:27):
But I'm also takingresponsibility and saying they
will, I will make them No, Iwill educate them as to why I'm
doing this. And they will seethat there was like way more
reasoning to this than justchanging my mind. Like I got
bored. There's way more to itthan that. Okay. And something
(18:47):
else that I think I've realized,in building this team, is that I
never know, I was very, for verylong time a solopreneur. Right,
I did not actually start apartnership in my wedding
invitation company for probablylike six to seven years into my
business. And even then it wasthe two of us minus our
(19:08):
employees and whatever, but Ijust, I'm that type of person
who is good at a lot of things.
And I just do them like I I likemy toxic trait is like it's
fine. I'll just do it. And it'lllike that's a toxic trait. I
recognize that. But I think it'salso important to realize that
the space I'm in now, I'msurrounded by people who pushed
(19:29):
me who make meuncomfortable who asked me
things I don't know the answerto, but I will find them out. So
if you are also in a positionwhere you feel maybe stuck or
you're feeling resistance, oryou're feeling maybe just
confused, like maybe you justneed help in a direction. Are
(19:49):
you surrounding yourself withpeople who drain you or people
who make things easy for you? Orare you surrounding yourself by
people who ask questions andpush you to grow and do things
that you're not comfortablewith, okay? It's important to
know that who you are right nowis not who you have to become.
(20:11):
Okay? It's who you are today,who you were yesterday is who
you were a year ago, who you aretoday. Absolutely not. And if
you don't recognize that that'sa whole nother conversation for
a whole nother day. But I thinkit's important that like, we get
(20:31):
so caught up in what we're knownfor, that we feel like we have
to stay where we're at, okay,it's kind of like a bad
relationship, one, you know,that you might need to get out
of, but it's just, it's who youare right now. And you just feel
like you have to stay at anypoint in time, you are allowed
to change your mind. That isyour choice. You are the one
(20:56):
that is stopping yourself. Okay,we have to recognize that we are
in charge of our own evolution.
Okay, we are in charge of whenwe say no, when we let go. And
when we move the fuck on that isour right, our responsibility,
(21:18):
our decision. Okay. And I feellike as women, we naturally
crave that validation, we cravethat permission. I know, you
know, this. I want you to know,though that it is not meant to
be a like duck type of situationor conversation. Like, I'm not
trying to, like, give you thislike, Duh, I know you want this,
(21:38):
like I know, you know this. ButI also know that more than
likely, you also like me,subconsciously just wish someone
would make a hard decision foryou, or give you permission to
make the decision. That is hard.
But that you know, is right.
Because we always want what'seasier, right? Like, it's easier
(21:58):
for somebody to give uspermission than it is to give
ourselves permission. At leastthat's how I feel. I don't know
if that's how you feel. But Ifeel looking back that it is way
harder to give myself permissionto do something than it is for
someone else to like, validatethat and give me permission to
do it. Okay, the truth is, weare blaming others for not
(22:23):
supporting us. And why is thatbecause it's easier, it is so
much easier to point fingers andblame things on other people.
But the reality is that peoplewho might judge your decision,
or people who might try to talkyou out of a decision that they
don't understand that you'remaking, the reality is that they
don't have the same vision, theyare not you. And that's okay.
(22:47):
It's okay that they don't havethe same vision. But you need to
recognize that, and you need totake yourself out of that, you
know, situation and put yourselfin a situation with people who
maybe do have a similar vision,or do support that decision, or
do have the similar vision thatyou have. Okay. And in different
(23:10):
seasons of life. We all knowthat, like our priorities
change, right? Like, can wenormalize as a business though,
because I feel like you know, inpersonal life, we get married,
and our priorities change. Andthen we have kids and our
priorities change. Right? Can wenormalize that though, because
in business is the same thing.
There are seasons, there are somany seasons are so many ups and
(23:32):
downs. And just like thosepriorities, dreams can change,
alignment can change. Okay. Andwhat I also think is really
important to understand is thatI've had a couple people
recently, actually, you know,talking through their ideas with
me, and you know, basicallytelling me that, you know, what
(23:52):
I'm like what I've done for thelast 10 years has nothing to do
with this, like, change I wantto make it has nothing to do
with it. I don't have what ittakes because I you know, I'm
not prepared. I don't have anyexperience. And here's the
thing, everything you're doingright now, no matter what it has
to do with what you plan onmoving into tomorrow. Everything
(24:15):
that you are doing right now ispreparing you for what's next. I
promise you this, okay? Even ifyou're change your decision,
you're like whatever dreamyou're chasing right now is the
polar opposite of what you'redoing now or have been doing
previously. I freaking promiseyou that what you're doing now
(24:37):
is teaching you so much aboutthe next season you will
absolutely take so many lessonswith you in to the future. Okay,
you are preparing yourself forthe person that you are ready to
become. Now what happens whenYou try on a pair of pants that
(25:00):
like you loved on the hanger oryou loved when you saw it on
Instagram, like, oh, that model?
Oh yeah, I have to have those.
And then you get them and youput them on and you're just
like, Nope. Okay, what do youdo? You you look for a different
pair, you you look for somethingdifferent, you decide that
wasn't for you. Okay? Stop beingafraid to try something else on,
(25:21):
pay attention to how oftenyou're trying something new.
Because when you're tryingsomething new, is how you are
going to differentiate what ismeant for you, and what you're
going to move on from. Okay,very important to recognize your
own position. If you think thatthey're trying to tell you who
(25:44):
you are, if you think that youare making decisions now, based
on you know, all of everythingthat everybody's saying. It's
because you are letting them.
Okay, I want you to sit withthat because I really want you
to think about all of thedecisions that you're making.
(26:04):
Right now. For future you. Okay,are you making decisions?
Because other people are tryingto change your mind? Or trying
to tell you who you are? Or whatyou're meant to do? Or are you
making decisions because youknow, in your gut, in an
intuitive feeling that this iswhat you are supposed to be
(26:26):
doing? Because those are twototally different decisions. And
I will tell you from experiencethat the decisions you make
based on what everybody elsethinks is a roller coaster you
do not want to be on. Okay, itis a roller coaster, that you
get off puking because youactually completely lost sight
(26:48):
of the goal of yourself of yourown intuition. Like you have
lost sight of all of that. Okay,so if anything if you get
anything out of today's episode,I want you to leave with this. I
am giving you permission today.
Tomorrow, yesterday, I don'teven care but I am giving you
permission to say no to thethings that are no longer
(27:13):
serving you to let go of them todream big and to move the fuck
on. I'm rooting for you. You'vetotally got this. All right,
babe. I hope you really enjoyedtoday's conversation. I'm super
curious to know what yourbiggest takeaway was from today.
So go ahead and share thisepisode on social media. Make
(27:35):
sure you tag me at this way tofabulous and let me know what
you connected with. What did youlearn from the episode and what
action item are you going totake today? Until next time,
guys, keep pushing, keepdreaming. And let's keep on
redefining fabulous chatter guys
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes present: Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial
Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.