November 27, 2025 • 54 mins
Postpartum care is often rushed, overlooked, or treated as an afterthought. In this episode, Radha Crawley, a Certified Ayurvedic Educator and Practitioner, shares what it can look like to bring warmth, nourishment, and community back into one of the most vulnerable seasons of a woman’s life.
Radha and Stephanie explore how holistic postpartum support helps mothers feel grounded, connected, and cared for, and why these early weeks matter far beyond the newborn stage.
Connect with Radha:
Website: www.blissalchemy.net
IG: @radhaschwaller @bliss_alchemy
About Radha:
Radha is a devoted wife, mother, herbalist, aromatherapist, Certified Ayurvedic Educator and Practitioner, Ayurvedic Body Therapist, Ayurvedic Postpartum Doula, Certified Life Coach and Licensed Holistic Aesthetician with almost two decades of experience in these realms.
Her mission is to combine her expertise in natural living with ancient wisdom to nourish all who long for happiness, peace, and health.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:48):
Welcome to Redefine Us, where we explore sexuality,
identity, motherhood, and mentalhealth to help women thrive
authentically.
Let's break free from roles thatlimit us and create a life where
you can truly be yourself.
In today's episode, we're gonnadive into all things are you
(01:09):
fake, as well as postpartumdoula care and some of Rada's
backstory.
I'm really excited for you toget to know her, and she shares
a lot about how she came to bein this career and what she's
hoping to give to other mothersin the work that she does and in
(01:31):
the training that she does toother doula's.
So I'm really excited for you tohear today's episode.
Welcome back to Redefining Us.
I'm your host, StephanieContra-O'Hara, and today I have
with me Radha.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Yeah, so welcome to RedefiningUs.
I'm so happy that you agreed tobe on today.
(01:54):
We've only met one timepreviously, but it was so
lovely, and I felt like we justneeded to connect further.
So thank you for agreeing to behere today.
SPEAKER_00 (02:03):
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
Yeah, so let's dive right into it.
You have a story about whyyou've come down this path to
teach other people about how tobe Ayurvedic postpartum doulas.
But let's start at the beginningof where that journey started.
SPEAKER_00 (02:23):
Absolutely.
I love to share this story.
So interesting how in the momentin life things feel like they
don't make any sense.
And then when you look back,you're like, oh, that's why that
happened.
So it's really fun to share thisstory with you.
So I became a mom pretty youngin my life.
(02:44):
I was 21 when I became pregnantwith my oldest.
And I really like to say thatshe kind of set me on this
journey of a beautiful, holisticlife and helped me really seek
out things that were deeplynourishing and care forward.
And when I was a young mom, Ihadn't been around many
(03:06):
postpartum people at all, orpregnant mamas at all, or really
children.
I was the only child.
And so the extent of me beingexposed to babies was like
friends of friends, you know,um, siblings or something like
that.
And so having a baby prettyyoung was um, I was like a deer
in headlights, basically.
(03:28):
Obviously, didn't know much whatwas happening to me and didn't
have tons of support at thetime.
And so I just started to dowhat, you know, everyone tells
you to do, which is go see anOBGYN, get your prenatal
vitamins, you know, and be onyour way.
And so one of my early visitswith a Western medical doctor, I
(03:51):
went in, had the blood draw, youknow, he came into the room.
You know, I'm in the littlegown, he checks me out, says
everything looks good.
Um, do you have any questions?
And I just was like, Oh, I havea million questions, but I don't
know what they are.
Like, I don't know what to ask.
Right?
It's crazy.
And I sort of was like, I don'tthink so.
(04:14):
I do, but I don't know.
And so he left the room and sentme to the lab to get blood
drawn.
And I went to get my blooddrawn, and they took like seven
or ten vials and a lot of vialsof blood, and they were like,
Okay, well, go schedule yournext appointment.
And so I walked up to the frontand I just started to feel like
(04:34):
really dizzy and kind ofoverwhelmed.
And uh, next thing I know,they're, you know, shouting my
name and where I am and at me,and I had passed out
essentially, you know, fallenflat on the floor.
And my poor husband was like, Ijust want to just scream,
someone get a doctor, you know.
And so we came out of that andthey gave me some crackers and
(04:57):
juice and and whatnot and sentme on my way.
And and then a few weeks later,I was talking with a neighbor of
mine, and she was older anddidn't have any children, but
had some a close friend who hadbirthed recently at home with a
midwife, and she asked me, HaveI ever heard of a midwife?
And I said, No.
(05:19):
And she said, Well, you shouldmeet with this midwife, and I
think you'd really like her.
And so I did.
I went, my husband and I wentand met with this midwife, and I
had a very similar experiencewhere I started to feel kind of
dizzy and overwhelmed.
And this midwife, her name wasStacy, bless her heart.
She um just kind of swept me upand laid me down on this
(05:42):
beautiful, you know, quiltedlittle twin bed she had in her
office and dimmed the lights andmade tea and was like massaging
my feet.
And yeah, I never passed out.
And I had such a huge aha momentin that time of like this deep
level of care that I didn't evenknow I needed, but just felt
(06:05):
like home, you know, really feltlike that's exactly how people
should be cared for.
And yeah, so it sent me on thistrajectory of just looking at my
life, you know, in that moment,I thought, oh, I could have a
birth where I'm falling on thefloor, or I could have a birth
where I'm held in care.
And so I did end up having themidwife.
(06:27):
I had a beautiful home birth, nocomplications, and felt really
supported in this community.
We had a another child three anda half years later.
And yeah, we're very much likelived in this community where
breastfeeding was very common,and people would bring meals and
exchange child care, and kidswould be running around naked in
(06:51):
the summer through shrinkles andyou know, just like the whole
thing.
And then when my oldest wasnine, we moved away, and I was
in a new community in Arizonawhere it was just like stark
difference.
And, you know, that whole timewe were living in Wisconsin, I
had been studying holistichealth and Ayurveda, and I
(07:11):
became a birth doula and and allof these things that felt really
nourishing to support my familyand my community with.
And then, you know, in Arizona,I had this huge aha, like, wow,
this isn't the common care.
Like I think I was in thisillusion that uh so many
communities were like that andthat that families had support
(07:35):
and that families had, you know,meals dropped off.
And I saw a lot of women inpostpartum and families left
alone and under-resourced.
And so yeah, I just felt really,really called to being in that
space to help support and hold,hold these families and listen
(07:56):
and talk to mamas and connectthem with other professionals in
the community and be a soundingboard for their concerns and
their worries and helpingnourish them from that moment
on.
And yeah, I feel so stronglythat if every single family had
this kind of care in postpartumand, you know, really warmth and
(08:18):
nourishment through warmingfoods and support, you know,
community around them and bod,uh, all of these things, that we
could really create a peacefulworld from that first initial
six weeks is like when thesebabies are, you know, really
developing their level ofability to create oxytocin in
(08:40):
their brain and their hormonalsystem.
And so moms are stressed, babiesare stressed, and then babies
hold that stress in theirnervous system for, you know, a
long time, maybe their wholelives, their receptors are set
up for that kind of cortisolinstead of oxytocin.
And and so I feel reallystrongly like we could really
(09:01):
help change the trajectory ofthe world with this care.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:05):
I'm just like, I guess, feeling like everything
that you just said in so manyways, like the idea that your
first experience was like, oh,but questions do you have?
But you're so finding yourselffeeling so overwhelmed, you
don't even know what question toask.
And even just from mycommunications with all the
people that have been on thispodcast, you know, hearing that
(09:28):
like providers, generallyspeaking, like have removed
themselves from that likeeducation piece.
So it's like if you're noteducated on what's going to
happen, like how do you even askthe right questions?
How do you know what you need ifthe options aren't even like
available to you?
But sounds like this midwifereally well, one like held you,
(09:49):
but also probably like talkedyou through what the experience
was going to potentially belike, and all of your options,
and yeah, just kind of providedwhat feels like more of a um
entire experience that likeenveloped you in a positive way
(10:10):
rather than just oh, come backnext week and we'll like check
your cervix again and we'll seeyou then.
Have a good day.
Totally, yeah.
I'll come in, then I'll callyou, and only if it's negative,
like otherwise you're good togo.
SPEAKER_00 (10:24):
Right?
Yeah, she required all of herclients to take the Bradley
Method course with her or withsomeone else, or something like
that.
So, some sort of like in-depthchildbirth education.
And yeah, I mean, my husband andI got pregnant pretty early on
(10:44):
in our relationship, and so ourrelationship was like defined
then by this like we got to knoweach other through this
childbirth education course, youknow, and what a gift.
I mean, I learned so much inthat class.
Like, I was amazed and then sortof mad that I didn't know that
beforehand, you know.
(11:05):
I'm like, wee, I'm a woman.
I like barely even know about mycycle, you know, and and so um
it was definitely like a cominghome to myself and my body and
like empowering me to like I hadzero doubts, and this could have
been because I was young too andnaive, but I literally had zero
(11:25):
doubts that like home birth wasnot gonna work, or like I just
knew I'm like, yeah, baby willbe born at home, everything's
gonna be healthy, like I'm doingall these things, and I just I I
feel sort of like wow, I can'tbelieve I I had that experience
where I didn't have any fears,or I was so comforted by the
(11:46):
level of care I got and like thethe education that was provided
in that moment, and like yousaid, like you don't know what
you don't know, like there's noway to know what kind of
questions to ask if you've neverdone something before.
You're like uh yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (12:04):
And you know, I'm definitely not like a stats
expert, but from what I've readand heard, like the more
medicalized birth becomes, themore risk of complications
arise.
So I imagine that also, likemaybe or maybe not, like
infiltrated your brain of like,oh, well, we're gonna not gonna
(12:26):
have a lot of medicalinterventions because we're
gonna do it at home.
So like maybe there's lessthings to be worried about.
Yeah, I don't know if you canlike speak to that or whether or
not you were just like, oh,there's this woman that I deeply
trust, and she's gonna be there.
Maybe both.
I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_00 (12:41):
Yeah, I think it was a little of both for sure.
And then, you know, just reallytrusting my body.
I think that part, you know.
I read one of the firstchildbirth books I read was The
Spiritual Midwifery by Ina MaeGaskin.
I don't know if you've seen thatoriginal one.
It's a hoot.
I highly recommend reading it.
(13:03):
It was like written in the 70s,and so the language in it is
like everything's groovy andlike, you know, rad and stuff
like that.
So it's kind of funny to readanyway.
But what was so beautiful aboutit is like, you know, she's she
in her career, I don't know whatshe's up to now for how many
births she's assisted, but likeliterally almost zero transfers,
(13:27):
like no hardly anycomplications.
Like it was like a full book ofstories that of of how you know
babies were born and in thisnatural way, and when the
chemical cascade was allowed toproceed.
And and just, you know, and Ithink that can happen in a
hospital too, in a child in abirth center, but I really feel
(13:51):
like the piece that's missing isthat care, you know, the the
deep care that we're allcraving.
Like we're all craving that likewarmth and that someone to
actually just sit and ask usquestions and like have time to
listen and have time to reflectback to us and mirror us with
(14:12):
like a stable nervous system andjust be a safe space.
I just feel like that is so, solacking in our in our
communities.
And and you know, in postpartumtime, like women are like really
raw and very vulnerable and aregoing through this, like maybe
(14:32):
for the first time in theirlife.
And things come up that as muchas you can prepare, like life
tends to give you the completeopposite.
So then they're sitting therelike, wait, I thought it was
gonna be this way, but now thisis presenting and I don't know
what to do.
And if they don't have someonethat they trust they can reach
out to that has time to listen,or you know, doesn't necessarily
(14:56):
have that warmth that I feellike, especially in postpartum
time, women need.
Yeah, there's can be so muchlike missed opportunities in
those early windows.
SPEAKER_01 (15:07):
Yeah.
I I mean, I'll speak to myexperience just a little bit
here, but like in my mind, andmaybe in a lot of other women's
minds, I was like, oh, mypartner is gonna be all those
things.
Like they're gonna besupportive, they're gonna be
there, they're gonna help mewith all these things.
And I definitely think myhusband did, and many husbands
probably do as much as they can,but they also just went through
(15:32):
something like life-changing,like there's sleepless nights
for them, there's stress forthem, there's like all of the
things are happening to themtoo, in a maybe a different
capacity, but still they're inthe trenches, and so the idea of
a postpartum doula or like othersupport people specifically,
(15:56):
like in that postpartum period,I feel like could come in and
(16:55):
like care for the whole familyin a different way than two
adults who are just trying tolike keep this little child
alive.
You know, like some thousandpercent rather than just like,
oh, you know, we're reallytrying to make sure this child
stays alive.
That's one of the reasons why Ireally started this podcast.
(17:16):
And I know listeners who've beenlistening since the beginning
probably really know this, butlike the journey of becoming a
parent in itself, it needssupport and this time and
healing and this space to reallycome in and hold parents, hold
moms in this way.
So yeah, I guess that's anotherreason why I was really called
(17:37):
to have you on because that'sexactly what you do now with
your your work.
SPEAKER_00 (17:42):
Yeah, yeah, it's so true that I mean, I think about
you know what you said about youknow, just trying to keep the
baby alive, like the two people,but then there's also like your
house.
Like I can't believe how muchwork a house takes to keep
going.
And if you have pets or forgetit, like you know, so yeah, it
(18:07):
it's you know unfair of us tothink that our partners can do
that, you know, fully, becauselike you said, they also went
through something, they arebecoming a new, you know, parent
as well, and they just probablywitnessed the most intense thing
of their life seeing their babybe born.
(18:27):
I remember so I had two babiesand then I became a birth doula.
And I at my first birth that Iattended was a home birth,
everything was fine, baby washealthy, mom was healthy.
I just left that birth and criedmy eyes out because I was like,
wow, moms actually have thebetter role in that whole birth
(18:49):
thing because they get thehormonal cascade that like gives
them, you know, all the painrelief and like the altered
consciousness and whatever, andlike everyone else is just an
adrenaline.
Like I was just thinking, like,okay, so so if you think about
that, like the partner just cameout of this like really intense
(19:11):
birth witnessing their partner,you know, be in states they've
never even thought possible forthe physical body, right?
And it's a lot to ask of them tocompletely know, and they don't
know too, like what to do fully.
Like we're not taught.
So that's another level, too, islike teaching both parents.
(19:34):
Like, here's what to generallyexpect in postpartum, and here's
what's normal, and here's likered flags, and here's how to
really set yourself up forsuccess and get yourself some
support.
You know, that's the firstquestion I always ask is who's
your support team when babycomes?
And it's so good to take thatpressure off the partner.
(19:57):
And yeah, I agree.
This care needs to go on, like,yes, the first six weeks and
first eight weeks is reallyimportant, but then so are I
mean, I want to just like laughand say, so are the first 18
years, you know.
Like every phase has like a needof you know, new learning
(20:18):
because I feel like every time Iget used to my kids being, I'm
like, okay, I got this.
They're in this phase, challengecomes, I learn, I grow, and then
they change like instantly.
So then I have to do it allagain.
SPEAKER_01 (20:32):
Yeah, I've heard from people say like postpartum
is like forever.
It's not just the the firstyear, the first two years.
Maybe your hormones likeresettle and your body is quote
unquote physically healed fromthe the process of birth.
And I'm using quotes because Ifeel like there could be lasting
issues, unfortunately.
Generally speaking, those arethe guidelines, but I do think
(20:53):
that like, yeah, like what youjust said is so true.
Like, yeah, you're still being aparent for the very first time
to this human who is uniquelythem at the age of 10, uniquely
them at the age of 15, uniquelythem at the age of 20.
So even if you have multiplechildren, like you're still
parenting this individualdifferently, like every day in
(21:17):
every stage.
SPEAKER_00 (21:19):
Absolutely.
It's so true.
I mean, having two children, Ican tell you they're so
different.
I mean, they have somesimilarities, but man, they are
like completely opposites inother ways.
And it's so in Ayurveda, we havethese three windows of time in a
woman's life where she canreally up-level her health.
(21:40):
I sort of think of the MarioBrothers game, you know, back
from the 90s, where like Mario'sgoing along and he gets a little
mushroom and it makes himbigger, you know, and then he's
invincible.
It's like that.
So we have this time where wecan really boost ourselves and
like become somewhat invincibleto to illness, like moving
forward.
(22:01):
But if we don't pay attention tothat time, so it's menses,
postpartum, and menopausewindow, we can become really
depleted and and really lacking.
And I'm experiencing like nowperimenopause time parenting
too, like young adults, andthat's like a whole nother topic
(22:22):
that you know we could talkabout because like I'm going
through in some ways my secondpuberty, like my hormones are
all over the place, and I feellike there's more information
coming forward now, but there'sstill a lot that we don't know
about about this time, and everysingle body and person is
different.
And how do we still show up forour families and our kids?
(22:46):
And like in this time when we'reyou know changing so much as
women, it's like a whole notherepisode we could have together.
SPEAKER_01 (22:56):
I really like oh man, the layers of that onion
don't know cover this in oneepisode, but yes, I think the
hormonal shifts, and thenthey're also like I imagine,
especially if you haveteenagers, like this kind of
like mirror situation happening.
They often relate people who aremaybe not often people who are
(23:19):
in this world, I think, notnecessarily everyone, like
relate becoming a mom, likematrescence to adolescence,
right?
There's like that similaritythat has been drawn, but it's
like, okay, now there's thiswhole other time too after
becoming a mom where you'reprobably going through
perimenopause while yourchildren are also going through
(23:40):
their hormonal changes as ateenager.
So it's like, yeah, how tomanage everyone's mental health
at the same time.
Yeah.
That I think is like a uniquely,it could be like an entire
series, probably, of episodes onthe fire.
SPEAKER_00 (23:55):
Right.
Yeah.
And I mean, it really like whatcomes back for me is just like,
I think we're veryunder-resourced.
Like, even those of us who arein this work and doing it, like
I can speak for myself and justsay, like, there's been times
where I've confronted somechallenge, parenting, or like in
my own health.
(24:16):
And I'm like, I don't even knowwho to ask right now.
Like, I feel like, oh my gosh,like, where's my support net?
Where's my team of people?
You know?
And I think that's really likeat the core of the work that I
offer is just like screamingfrom the rooftops, like how much
we need community care, and howmuch we need this, these like
(24:39):
networks of people supportingeach other.
And before the problem comes upor the challenge comes up, so
that we actually know where togo.
And like we have that list of ofpeople, or like we've already
established that relationship.
And yeah, we just like we reallyneed each other, like,
especially in this crazy worldright now.
SPEAKER_01 (25:01):
I wish in general that society as a whole is more
in the mindset of like proactiveand like education and like you
said, like community care.
I feel like it's just been setup to be like this reactive,
last minute, urgent crisisresponse.
(25:21):
Thousand percent.
Which is just like devastatingbecause you can't catch
everybody when they're in acrisis, right?
You can't support people whenthey're maybe at a place where
they feel like I'm the only onegoing through this.
Whether it's like no, for me inpostpartum, I was like, I'm the
only one that feels like thisright now.
(25:42):
And I'm like, wait a second,Stephanie.
Actually, do you know some othermoms who've said this before,
right?
But like, if I wasn't connectedto those and I wasn't connected
to a community, I might be inthe position late at night, two
in the morning, breastfeeding,thinking to myself, like, what
am I doing?
I'm failing at this.
And I hadn't heard other womenor been connected to other
(26:04):
people who are going throughthis process.
I might have thought, like, yep,that's it.
I'm the only one, and like it behave devastating results.
So a thousand percent.
Yeah to a community and people,I think, is so life-saving in so
many ways, you know, from aspiritual, from a mental, from a
physical sense.
SPEAKER_00 (26:25):
I can totally relate to that in my own life.
I mean, I, you know, said I wasa young mom and I didn't have a
ton of support.
Like our families were kind oflike, what are you guys doing?
All because we were very likealternative for 25 years ago.
My oldest just turned 25.
So we were, you know, no plastictoys, no, you know, polyester
(26:48):
clothing, um, organic food, likeWaldorf education.
And that was really weird backthen.
In the mainstream, especially inthe Midwest where we lived,
right?
Yeah.
And so I really leaned into mycommunity for support.
And I remember uh these librarystory hours that this librarian
(27:13):
had every week, and she was theywere Waldorf inspired, so she
had like little, you know,felted puppets and cute little,
you know, things and stories andsilks and all of that.
And I would go every single weekwith both girls, and I swear to
you, that saved my life becauseI met so many other moms there,
(27:35):
and like it was just so sweet,and like the girls loved it, and
they would do a little craftafterwards, and like I could
have a moment of like not beingthe only parent on, you know,
and like let the community holdthem for an hour or two or
whatever it was.
And I swear that saved me mymental health so tremendously
(27:57):
much back then, and yeah, so Icompletely agree.
I think like having connectionswith other, with other moms and
other families when especiallywhen our kids are young and we
are like so in it with thelaundry and the food and the
naps and the all the things.
(28:19):
Oh, it's a lot.
It's all encompassing.
We in we you don't reallyrealize how much work and how
stressful it is until you likehave a moment to stop and like
step back and like say someonecomes in to offer care and
you're like, oh my gosh, like Ijust want to sleep.
I mean, I've had plenty of momsin postpartum time hire me, and
(28:44):
then I get to their house andlike we have ideas of things
we're gonna do, you know, forher wellness.
And she's like, actually, I needa nap.
I'm like, yeah, you do.
Go take a nap, you know.
It's uh it's pretty tremendousthe amount that you know, we're
really not meant to do alone.
And here, here we are, like inour little isolated families.
SPEAKER_01 (29:06):
Yeah, I feel like society is just getting more and
more isolated, right?
Especially with, you know, I'llspeak again for myself, like
living across the country frommy parents, living across the
country from my in-laws, likejust not having the same, maybe
like home base that peoplehistorically have had, whether,
(29:27):
or like even being removed fromlike communities that are
spiritual in nature, right?
And like being less for myself,I'll speak for myself, like less
connected to like a spiritualcommunity or like a religious
community, just kind of end upbeing like, Oh, I guess it's
just like me and my friends, andwe're all parents at the same
exact time, then they have, youknow, small children.
(29:52):
Like, how do you tap them in?
Whereas in previous times, oreven like with your services and
other people's services that arein support of this, like having
people who are not all in thesame phase at the same time is
also like really helpful.
Like having other women come inor you know, other people come
in to support the family, Ithink, yeah, it's just something
(30:16):
we don't have in our currentsociety, like already
established community.
SPEAKER_00 (30:23):
Thousand percent.
Yeah, it's really, I mean, whenyou look at almost every other
culture, you know, for sure,India, where Ayurveda comes
from, Mexico, you know, LatinAmerica, I mean, so many places,
Russia, um, Bali, Indonesia,Japan, China, they all have
(30:43):
postpartum things that they alldo.
It's like in their culture, likethe everyone just knows, okay,
when so-and-so has a baby, thenwe make this porridge, and then
we bring this soup, and then thegrandma comes and stays for six
weeks or whatever it is.
And she's trained in, you know,in India, like the grandmother
(31:05):
or auntie or sister or cousin orneighbor or whoever, some woman
of the uh that knows the motherwill come in and give the mom
warm oil massage every day for40 days, and baby too.
And you know, that has benefitsof like opening up the channels
so life force energy can flowthrough and tissues can heal
(31:28):
faster, and fluids can move, andlymphatic can move through the
body faster.
Your organs can come back intoplace easier, there's less like
pelvic floor issues, yournervous system downregulates,
all the there's a millionbenefits, right?
Of touch and and yet, and likeyou said, it's like it's the
family that shows up, it's thepeople, and we're so, you know,
(31:53):
in the United States, especiallyvery isolated.
I mean, our whole country wasset up on independence, right?
And like doing it ourselves,kind of energy, and and that's
really doing a huge disserviceto families nowadays.
SPEAKER_01 (32:07):
I mean, yeah, we've almost taken it too far, right?
Like if there's like a pendulum,right?
We're over here in this likeside where we're like completely
quote unquote independent fromone another, can't even you
know, not to get political, butwe can barely like share you
know ideas about how the worldshould work.
We're also like, this is the waythat it should be, yelling at
(32:28):
each other from the rooftops,rather than like being over here
in this place where it's like,yeah, we all have like a little
bit of differences and we allhave our own like unique
expressions, but like we'restill hold the same values and
beliefs and cultural identitiesand you know, historical,
cultural like stories andtraditions that are passed on.
SPEAKER_00 (32:50):
Totally.
And really, I think in thatspace of like, yes, we're all,
you know, we have differencesabout us, it's because we are
talking to each other and weactually know what those
differences are.
And we can see that, like, I cantalk to you, and if you have a
completely different view onraising your children than I do,
(33:12):
I can still like respect you andand be like, yeah, she's doing
her best in her life.
And instead of like shutting youout and like saying you're bad
and like, you know, then go voteon some law that would prevent
you from parenting your kids insome way or whatever, there's
that deeper understanding whenwe're in community, right?
(33:34):
Because we sit next to someonewho's crying because they lost
their child because they didn'thave adequate health care, and
like we're holding their handand we're like, wow, I can feel
empathy for you.
And instead of it being this,like across the screen, you
know, across the social mediawhere we're like losing that
like compassion, we're losingthat empathy for each other.
(33:57):
And yeah, there's so there'slike so many studies coming out
now.
I'm sure you've seen them aboutlike the number one thing that
really boosts longevity andhuman health and in life is not
diet, it's not exercise, it'snot, you know, whatever else we
say, like what herbs orpharmaceuticals we're taking,
(34:18):
but it's actually community inour relationships.
And so we can have all theseother healthy things, but if
we're still living independentlyand we're not resourced and
we're not connected, we we'renot gonna be healthy.
Like we have to care for eachother, we just do.
Yeah, we have to swoop eachother up and lay each other down
(34:39):
on quilted blankets and serveeach other tea.
We just have to, yeah.
I I agree.
SPEAKER_01 (34:45):
Yeah, I think what I was also thinking back to, and
we maybe already moved on fromthis point, but I just want to
like I guess go back to it aboutlike the idea that like uh an
auntie or grandma or whoeverwould come in and do those
massages.
Yeah, I think the only liketraditions that like really I
(35:06):
know about in American cultureis like, oh, you're pregnant,
let's have a baby shower.
Oh, we're pregnant, like Wendywants to visit.
Like, should we get shotsafterwards?
And like maybe that's not even aconversation, right?
So it's like, what traditions doreally exist to support new
(35:28):
parents, whether it's your firstchild or your third child, like
fifth child, whatever, like nota ton that are like established,
like routine, like this is justwhat happens.
SPEAKER_00 (35:41):
Totally.
I mean, and the baby shower wasjust like capitalism, right?
It's just like I mean, and youdon't need 99% of the things
that you get.
I mean, sure, every family needslike a car seat and like maybe a
stroller and some onesies anddiapers, but beyond that, like
newborns don't need much.
(36:02):
They just need them like aparent to hold them and um
warmth, you know.
And so, yeah, the the culturalpractices we have in our country
is they're pretty scarce.
And hopefully, like, I don'tknow, just I feel so lucky that
you know you invited me on thispodcast because this is what I
(36:23):
want to share is like this messmessage of there's other ways of
doing things that feel morenourishing for our spirit, our
soul, our you know, deep in ourbeing, that part of us that like
craves something, we're justlike, ugh, something feels off.
I don't know what it is, likethat's it.
We're craving this like deeperexperience.
(36:45):
We're craving this to be seen,to be held, to be cared for, to
be acknowledged.
Even when we're at our worst, orlike, you know, we're in
postpartum, like leaking all thefluids, sitting in adult
diapers, you know, like we needto be loved in all the moments.
And especially when we're whenwe're having a hard time and
(37:08):
we're struggling.
And that's especially when weneed to know that people will be
there for us and um feeding usporridge.
SPEAKER_01 (37:17):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I was hoping you could sharewhat does Ayurvedic care look
like in postpartum for peoplewho are maybe not familiar with
that at all.
SPEAKER_00 (37:28):
Yeah, great question.
So Ayurveda is it means thescience of life and it's a form
of health care from India.
It's more people probably knowof Chinese medicine, you know,
with acupuncture and uh Chineseherbs, and it's very similar,
but obviously a little bitdifferent from India.
And so we look at the fiveelements, and in postpartum, the
(37:52):
element that we're trying tobalance is the air and ether
elements, which can create, youknow, cold and space in the
body, and which can lead to moreof the postpartum depression or
postpartum mood disorders orinsomnia or excessive thoughts
or things of that nature.
(38:13):
And so all of the care inAyurvedic postpartum is catered
to balancing that, and that iswarm oil massages.
So there's a lovely herbal oilsthat we use to pour on the body
to help open up the lymphaticsystem and ground, like I
mentioned earlier, the nervoussystem.
There's foods that you know arevery warming and uh easy to
(38:39):
digest.
So sweet potato ginger soups.
You can think of like chaispices and rice porridge, and
there's some really lovely teasand almond milks with cardamom
and dates that we feed to mamasin postpartum.
And then there's some of theceremonial pieces.
(38:59):
So like the closing of the sixor eight-week journey in
postpartum, we will honor thattime in whatever way feels true
to the mom.
And all of the care is reallyfocused.
It's like mom-centric, which isvery different than like, say,
traditional postpartum doulas,where they're more like helping
(39:20):
the household, which is alsovery, very needed.
Like, of course, we all know howmuch care a house needs.
Um, so Ayurvedic postpartum careis more focused on the mom and
like the her journey or theirjourney towards healing.
And it can look very differentfor everyone, but again, active
listening is a big part of it.
(39:42):
I like to do just like someoracle card readings and some
aromatherapy to help the mindbody balance, herbal foot baths,
some uni steaming, some pelvicfloor care, all can be a part of
it.
But yeah, that that just showingup again and and being a person
(40:04):
who's there to nourish that mamaand that birthing person in that
first six weeks is really what'smost important.
SPEAKER_01 (40:14):
Yeah, I I know you mentioned like the the first six
weeks is really what your carefocuses on, but I I imagine, and
maybe this is wrong, but thefirst six weeks really sets you
up for success, hopefully forthe next six weeks.
And then six weeks after that,but are there like additional
services or other people thatyou would maybe refer people to
if maybe they're out of thatfirst six weeks, but they're
(40:36):
still like, man, I really needhealing or I really need support
that feels like I need to comeback to myself.
Yeah, I'm kind of curious ifeither you or you know other
people that provide that kind ofservice too.
Cause I think, yeah, I don'twant to have someone listen to
this and they're like eightweeks postpartum and they're
like, oh man, I missed my shot.
SPEAKER_00 (40:57):
Totally, absolutely.
You know, I actually work withwith mamas like anytime
postpartum.
So, like you said, postpartumnever ends.
And so I actually worked with amama recently who was going
through breast cancer treatmentand she was like being put in
menopause a little early.
(41:17):
And so um we did a postpartumtype package.
And what's cool about this workis that it's very like I was
mentioning, it balances air andether.
Air and ether are present prettymuch always in our world because
it's basically movement, right?
It's cold and it's movement,which is all we're doing in our
(41:38):
culture now, is like we have allthis information coming at us
and we're constantly doingthings.
And then, you know, we live inColorado, so it's like
everyone's always running up themountains, and like, you know,
there's like all of this drynessin this movement.
And so honestly, this care islike amazing for anyone in any
transition, like in any timewhere, like you said, someone
(42:02):
feels like they're disconnectedfrom themselves or they're
feeling like they need deepnourishment.
This care is for that time.
And so you're totally right,it's not just that for six
weeks.
I think it is amazing.
I mean, I've treated people ofall ages with this kind of care.
I've delivered meals forsurgeries, I've delivered meals
(42:25):
for sickness, for all kinds ofdifferent times of life where
somebody, you know, lost a jobor went through a divorce or
whatever it might be that is atransition type of time because
it's very unsettling to be intransition, right?
To whatever that might be.
And this care is meant to groundand nourish and warm and soothe
(42:48):
and calm and rejuvenate yourbody.
And so, yeah, I mean, I would, Iwould recommend it really for
anybody going through any kindof transition.
Thank you for asking that.
SPEAKER_01 (43:00):
Yeah, I just think there's like you've already kind
of highlighted here, like somany times where people really
need to remember that they'realso capable of like receiving
support.
Cause I know a lot of moms andwomen out there that are
probably listening to thispodcast are tend to be the
givers, right?
Tend to be the people out therelike being selfless and
(43:21):
supporting other people.
And like sounds like your careis like really meant to help
wrap them up in a nice warmblanket and like allow them to
receive care in a way that'sreally healing.
SPEAKER_00 (43:36):
Totally, really super healing, and it is really
hard, you know.
I think that's part of the cellthat kind of is tricky to get
people to buy into is likebecause of our independent
culture and our and how we'rekind of taught like from when
we're little to like do ityourself.
You know, I'm a big girl, I cando it myself, kind of vibe, you
(44:00):
know.
And we actually can't.
I'm sorry to tell you.
We we can, but at what cost?
Yeah, right.
And that's the thing that wejust have to surrender to.
Like, we cannot do it all.
Like, we cannot have the job, bea perfect parent, have a perfect
(44:21):
house, go on all the vacations,have perfect health all at the
same time, unless we'resupported and resourced.
SPEAKER_01 (44:29):
And even then, I'm like, oh, can you really do all
of those things?
I've seen plenty of like theselike reels on social media
saying things like, okay, so youexpect yourself to have this,
this, and this, and this.
Like, how do you how do youpossibly be perfect in all of
those things at the same time?
It's like, yeah, that's prettyunrealistic.
SPEAKER_00 (44:47):
It's pretty unrealistic, and yet we think we
can and we try, and then we beatourselves up when we can't get
there, and we won't give toourselves, we won't allow
ourselves to receive.
And you know, it's so importantto receive and whatever that
looks like for you, like askingfor someone to cook a meal for
(45:10):
you when you're sick.
Like, how have you ever donethat?
Like, that's hard to ask for.
It's like, hey, me and myhusband have the flu.
We have two little kids, and uhuh they're about to go down too,
I'm sure.
Like, can you bring us somesoup?
Like, we you know, we don'tnecessarily feel comfortable
(45:31):
doing that as a culture.
SPEAKER_01 (45:33):
Yeah, it's really interesting.
Not to like toot my own horn,but I've had some people and
around me go through somedifficult times, especially
after having a kid and me beinglike, hey, can I help?
And they're like, Um, let methink about it.
SPEAKER_00 (45:46):
And I'm like, think about it.
What do you what is there tothink about?
Let me go over.
SPEAKER_01 (45:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (45:52):
What do you mean?
SPEAKER_01 (45:53):
But there's like this like hesitation that people
have of like accepting help thatwhether it's their own idea that
they're gonna be a burden,whether they're thinking that
their situation's not badenough, quote unquote, to need
help, whether it's pride.
Like, I'm sure there's probablyplenty of reasons why people
resist receiving, but I don'tknow, this is your sign that you
(46:17):
should allow yourself to receivebecause it's such like a warm
feeling for yourself and itfills you up, so then you can go
and fill other people up.
And it's like this the cyclethat didn't just continue.
SPEAKER_00 (46:29):
My gosh, so much.
I I know.
So this community where mydaughters were born, we just had
this understanding that whensomeone had a baby, like you
didn't even have to know them.
Like you would get on their mailtrain and bring them food.
Like, oh, you know, so and so'sneighbor had a baby.
Okay, like when can I bringsoup?
(46:51):
Like it wasn't even a question.
And when I moved here, I justnoticed that wasn't so common.
It was just like reserved forlike their friends, close
friends that would bring food.
And I was like, Well, can Ibring a meal?
And people would look at melike, what?
Like, I'm like, Yeah, they're inthe community, like I wanna
(47:12):
help.
And yeah, I think if we all didthat, like, how can we like I
love that how you just said, CanI help?
Can I do something?
Like, if we all had thatmentality, like that would just
open the door, right?
Because sometimes you don't evenknow what you need, and you're
like, crap, I just had a baby,and like it was like me with the
(47:32):
doctor.
I don't know what questions toask, I don't know what help I
need.
SPEAKER_01 (47:36):
Yeah.
And this is kind of a uh relatedbut almost like a tangential
thought.
I think that there would be lessanxiety and less depression if
not just moms, but like thecommunity, like knew that other
people would be there for them.
That like you don't have to dothis by yourself.
(47:58):
I think there's so many peoplethat live out there just like
scared or worried that like theydon't know where their next meal
will come from, or they don'tknow who's gonna help them if
their car breaks down, or well,they're gonna get paid for their
cat's vet bills, or you know,all of these things that like
(48:18):
people are always just likeworried about.
And then, of course, just likethis internal feeling of like
I'm not good enough because Ican't figure this out by myself,
or I'm not good enough because Ican't solve all these problems
alone.
So let's all remember that we'renot supposed to be doing all
these things by ourselves andhaving to do it all alone.
SPEAKER_00 (48:41):
Totally.
Can you imagine like a thousandyears ago if people all lived
isolated, just in their littlecouples, like all over?
Like, I don't think be heretoday because we would have all
been eaten by something.
You know, we banded together inlike a community to like support
each other and like keep eachother safe and feed each other
(49:05):
and care for each other.
SPEAKER_01 (49:07):
And what the heck do we and even though like we still
all live in these quote unquotecommunities, I can't tell you
that I know most of myneighbors.
I was in the spot the other dayas I was driving down my street,
and I live in a neighborhoodwhere it there's a lot of
people, right?
It's not like where houses aresuper far apart, right?
Like it's like hi neighbor,you're right there.
(49:28):
So like I was just thinking tomyself, like, there's so many
people that live in this tinylittle area.
And yet I can guarantee you thatmost of us don't know each
other.
Yep.
Same in my neighborhood.
And so it's like they're allliving their lives literally
right next to each other.
And they could be strangers.
SPEAKER_00 (49:51):
Yeah, it's not okay.
SPEAKER_01 (49:53):
Um how we break down these walls is a whole
systematic problem.
But yeah, yeah, another podcastfor another day, but I mean it
speaks to this idea that likegoing out there and supporting
each other is really helpful,and people go through hard times
and people go through verynatural times too, like becoming
(50:13):
a mother that needs support.
So there doesn't need to be aproblem in order for there to be
support.
SPEAKER_00 (50:20):
I love that.
That needs to be a bumpersticker.
Yeah, it's so true.
It's so true, it's so beautiful.
And I love this conversation andreally hope that it inspires
whoever listens to, you know,give something to your
community, maybe someone youdon't know, like offer a meal
(50:42):
with a new baby, or whensomeone's sick, or whatever it
might be, like shovel someone'ssidewalk in the winter or
whatever it might be.
It's just like all of it makes adifference.
It really does.
SPEAKER_01 (50:56):
Yeah.
Well, I'd love for you to sharewith people how they can connect
with you.
And then yeah, if you have anyasks as far as like supporting
you back.
SPEAKER_00 (51:06):
Yeah.
If you want to connect with me,you can find me on Instagram,
bliss underscore alchemy.
And my also personal account isat Rodha Schwaller on Instagram.
And then my website isblissalchemy.net, and you can
read about my offerings there.
(51:27):
I do also offer holistic facialshere in the boulder area, and
it's a very mind-body-spiritexperience.
And so I really like the timeand slowness of a session with
someone to really drop in deeplyand nourish your mind, body, and
skin.
And then also, yeah, I have thisuh Ayurvedic postpartum doula
(51:51):
program that runs online uhabout three times a year,
depending on how the cycles go.
And it's nine modules, it's afour and a half, five month
program, and we really gothrough all the aspects of how
to support families inpostpartum, and as we learned in
this conversation, also in allkinds of other transitionary
(52:14):
moments in life.
So it's not just for postpartumdoulas, I would say.
Um, if you're looking to nourishyour clients, your family, your
community with Ayurveda, it's areally beautiful course for
that.
Yeah, so come find me.
I love people reaching out.
If you had any questions fromthis conversation, I'm happy to
(52:35):
answer, chat more aboutanything.
Yeah, we just all need eachother.
So thank you so much for havingme, Stephanie.
It's a pleasure to chat with youtoday.
I'm so happy that you're able tocome on today.
I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01 (52:50):
Thank you for tuning in to Redefining Us once again
and share with other people soother people can continue to
listen to Redefining Us and wecan get into more listeners'
ears.
If you follow us or subscribe orleave a comment or review, that
would be greatly helpful forother people to find us, and
(53:11):
also just for me to get somefeedback.
What do you guys want to hear mesay?
What do you women care abouthere?
I'm totally open to bringing onguests and talking about topics
that are unique and inspiring toeveryone, so please let me know.
And this year, hopefully we'refull of a lot of community
(53:31):
building, a lot of publicspeaking, a lot of resource
sharing.
So I really encourage you tofollow us on social media at
Wellminded Counseling onInstagram as our handle, as well
as going directly to ourwebsite,
wallmindedcounseling.combackslash redefining, type in
us, so you can be in the knowwith all the things that are
(53:53):
happening in the Redefining Uscommunity.
Once again, thank you so muchfor listening and keeping
awesome.
Welcome to Redefine Us, where we explore sexuality,
identity, motherhood, and mentalhealth to help women thrive
authentically.
Let's break free from roles thatlimit us and create a life where
you can truly be yourself.
In today's episode, we're gonnadive into all things are you
(01:09):
fake, as well as postpartumdoula care and some of Rada's
backstory.
I'm really excited for you toget to know her, and she shares
a lot about how she came to bein this career and what she's
hoping to give to other mothersin the work that she does and in
(01:31):
the training that she does toother doula's.
So I'm really excited for you tohear today's episode.
Welcome back to Redefining Us.
I'm your host, StephanieContra-O'Hara, and today I have
with me Radha.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Yeah, so welcome to RedefiningUs.
I'm so happy that you agreed tobe on today.
(01:54):
We've only met one timepreviously, but it was so
lovely, and I felt like we justneeded to connect further.
So thank you for agreeing to behere today.
SPEAKER_00 (02:03):
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
Yeah, so let's dive right into it.
You have a story about whyyou've come down this path to
teach other people about how tobe Ayurvedic postpartum doulas.
But let's start at the beginningof where that journey started.
SPEAKER_00 (02:23):
Absolutely.
I love to share this story.
So interesting how in the momentin life things feel like they
don't make any sense.
And then when you look back,you're like, oh, that's why that
happened.
So it's really fun to share thisstory with you.
So I became a mom pretty youngin my life.
(02:44):
I was 21 when I became pregnantwith my oldest.
And I really like to say thatshe kind of set me on this
journey of a beautiful, holisticlife and helped me really seek
out things that were deeplynourishing and care forward.
And when I was a young mom, Ihadn't been around many
(03:06):
postpartum people at all, orpregnant mamas at all, or really
children.
I was the only child.
And so the extent of me beingexposed to babies was like
friends of friends, you know,um, siblings or something like
that.
And so having a baby prettyyoung was um, I was like a deer
in headlights, basically.
(03:28):
Obviously, didn't know much whatwas happening to me and didn't
have tons of support at thetime.
And so I just started to dowhat, you know, everyone tells
you to do, which is go see anOBGYN, get your prenatal
vitamins, you know, and be onyour way.
And so one of my early visitswith a Western medical doctor, I
(03:51):
went in, had the blood draw, youknow, he came into the room.
You know, I'm in the littlegown, he checks me out, says
everything looks good.
Um, do you have any questions?
And I just was like, Oh, I havea million questions, but I don't
know what they are.
Like, I don't know what to ask.
Right?
It's crazy.
And I sort of was like, I don'tthink so.
(04:14):
I do, but I don't know.
And so he left the room and sentme to the lab to get blood
drawn.
And I went to get my blooddrawn, and they took like seven
or ten vials and a lot of vialsof blood, and they were like,
Okay, well, go schedule yournext appointment.
And so I walked up to the frontand I just started to feel like
(04:34):
really dizzy and kind ofoverwhelmed.
And uh, next thing I know,they're, you know, shouting my
name and where I am and at me,and I had passed out
essentially, you know, fallenflat on the floor.
And my poor husband was like, Ijust want to just scream,
someone get a doctor, you know.
And so we came out of that andthey gave me some crackers and
(04:57):
juice and and whatnot and sentme on my way.
And and then a few weeks later,I was talking with a neighbor of
mine, and she was older anddidn't have any children, but
had some a close friend who hadbirthed recently at home with a
midwife, and she asked me, HaveI ever heard of a midwife?
And I said, No.
(05:19):
And she said, Well, you shouldmeet with this midwife, and I
think you'd really like her.
And so I did.
I went, my husband and I wentand met with this midwife, and I
had a very similar experiencewhere I started to feel kind of
dizzy and overwhelmed.
And this midwife, her name wasStacy, bless her heart.
She um just kind of swept me upand laid me down on this
(05:42):
beautiful, you know, quiltedlittle twin bed she had in her
office and dimmed the lights andmade tea and was like massaging
my feet.
And yeah, I never passed out.
And I had such a huge aha momentin that time of like this deep
level of care that I didn't evenknow I needed, but just felt
(06:05):
like home, you know, really feltlike that's exactly how people
should be cared for.
And yeah, so it sent me on thistrajectory of just looking at my
life, you know, in that moment,I thought, oh, I could have a
birth where I'm falling on thefloor, or I could have a birth
where I'm held in care.
And so I did end up having themidwife.
(06:27):
I had a beautiful home birth, nocomplications, and felt really
supported in this community.
We had a another child three anda half years later.
And yeah, we're very much likelived in this community where
breastfeeding was very common,and people would bring meals and
exchange child care, and kidswould be running around naked in
(06:51):
the summer through shrinkles andyou know, just like the whole
thing.
And then when my oldest wasnine, we moved away, and I was
in a new community in Arizonawhere it was just like stark
difference.
And, you know, that whole timewe were living in Wisconsin, I
had been studying holistichealth and Ayurveda, and I
(07:11):
became a birth doula and and allof these things that felt really
nourishing to support my familyand my community with.
And then, you know, in Arizona,I had this huge aha, like, wow,
this isn't the common care.
Like I think I was in thisillusion that uh so many
communities were like that andthat that families had support
(07:35):
and that families had, you know,meals dropped off.
And I saw a lot of women inpostpartum and families left
alone and under-resourced.
And so yeah, I just felt really,really called to being in that
space to help support and hold,hold these families and listen
(07:56):
and talk to mamas and connectthem with other professionals in
the community and be a soundingboard for their concerns and
their worries and helpingnourish them from that moment
on.
And yeah, I feel so stronglythat if every single family had
this kind of care in postpartumand, you know, really warmth and
(08:18):
nourishment through warmingfoods and support, you know,
community around them and bod,uh, all of these things, that we
could really create a peacefulworld from that first initial
six weeks is like when thesebabies are, you know, really
developing their level ofability to create oxytocin in
(08:40):
their brain and their hormonalsystem.
And so moms are stressed, babiesare stressed, and then babies
hold that stress in theirnervous system for, you know, a
long time, maybe their wholelives, their receptors are set
up for that kind of cortisolinstead of oxytocin.
And and so I feel reallystrongly like we could really
(09:01):
help change the trajectory ofthe world with this care.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:05):
I'm just like, I guess, feeling like everything
that you just said in so manyways, like the idea that your
first experience was like, oh,but questions do you have?
But you're so finding yourselffeeling so overwhelmed, you
don't even know what question toask.
And even just from mycommunications with all the
people that have been on thispodcast, you know, hearing that
(09:28):
like providers, generallyspeaking, like have removed
themselves from that likeeducation piece.
So it's like if you're noteducated on what's going to
happen, like how do you even askthe right questions?
How do you know what you need ifthe options aren't even like
available to you?
But sounds like this midwifereally well, one like held you,
(09:49):
but also probably like talkedyou through what the experience
was going to potentially belike, and all of your options,
and yeah, just kind of providedwhat feels like more of a um
entire experience that likeenveloped you in a positive way
(10:10):
rather than just oh, come backnext week and we'll like check
your cervix again and we'll seeyou then.
Have a good day.
Totally, yeah.
I'll come in, then I'll callyou, and only if it's negative,
like otherwise you're good togo.
SPEAKER_00 (10:24):
Right?
Yeah, she required all of herclients to take the Bradley
Method course with her or withsomeone else, or something like
that.
So, some sort of like in-depthchildbirth education.
And yeah, I mean, my husband andI got pregnant pretty early on
(10:44):
in our relationship, and so ourrelationship was like defined
then by this like we got to knoweach other through this
childbirth education course, youknow, and what a gift.
I mean, I learned so much inthat class.
Like, I was amazed and then sortof mad that I didn't know that
beforehand, you know.
(11:05):
I'm like, wee, I'm a woman.
I like barely even know about mycycle, you know, and and so um
it was definitely like a cominghome to myself and my body and
like empowering me to like I hadzero doubts, and this could have
been because I was young too andnaive, but I literally had zero
(11:25):
doubts that like home birth wasnot gonna work, or like I just
knew I'm like, yeah, baby willbe born at home, everything's
gonna be healthy, like I'm doingall these things, and I just I I
feel sort of like wow, I can'tbelieve I I had that experience
where I didn't have any fears,or I was so comforted by the
(11:46):
level of care I got and like thethe education that was provided
in that moment, and like yousaid, like you don't know what
you don't know, like there's noway to know what kind of
questions to ask if you've neverdone something before.
You're like uh yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (12:04):
And you know, I'm definitely not like a stats
expert, but from what I've readand heard, like the more
medicalized birth becomes, themore risk of complications
arise.
So I imagine that also, likemaybe or maybe not, like
infiltrated your brain of like,oh, well, we're gonna not gonna
(12:26):
have a lot of medicalinterventions because we're
gonna do it at home.
So like maybe there's lessthings to be worried about.
Yeah, I don't know if you canlike speak to that or whether or
not you were just like, oh,there's this woman that I deeply
trust, and she's gonna be there.
Maybe both.
I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_00 (12:41):
Yeah, I think it was a little of both for sure.
And then, you know, just reallytrusting my body.
I think that part, you know.
I read one of the firstchildbirth books I read was The
Spiritual Midwifery by Ina MaeGaskin.
I don't know if you've seen thatoriginal one.
It's a hoot.
I highly recommend reading it.
(13:03):
It was like written in the 70s,and so the language in it is
like everything's groovy andlike, you know, rad and stuff
like that.
So it's kind of funny to readanyway.
But what was so beautiful aboutit is like, you know, she's she
in her career, I don't know whatshe's up to now for how many
births she's assisted, but likeliterally almost zero transfers,
(13:27):
like no hardly anycomplications.
Like it was like a full book ofstories that of of how you know
babies were born and in thisnatural way, and when the
chemical cascade was allowed toproceed.
And and just, you know, and Ithink that can happen in a
hospital too, in a child in abirth center, but I really feel
(13:51):
like the piece that's missing isthat care, you know, the the
deep care that we're allcraving.
Like we're all craving that likewarmth and that someone to
actually just sit and ask usquestions and like have time to
listen and have time to reflectback to us and mirror us with
(14:12):
like a stable nervous system andjust be a safe space.
I just feel like that is so, solacking in our in our
communities.
And and you know, in postpartumtime, like women are like really
raw and very vulnerable and aregoing through this, like maybe
(14:32):
for the first time in theirlife.
And things come up that as muchas you can prepare, like life
tends to give you the completeopposite.
So then they're sitting therelike, wait, I thought it was
gonna be this way, but now thisis presenting and I don't know
what to do.
And if they don't have someonethat they trust they can reach
out to that has time to listen,or you know, doesn't necessarily
(14:56):
have that warmth that I feellike, especially in postpartum
time, women need.
Yeah, there's can be so muchlike missed opportunities in
those early windows.
SPEAKER_01 (15:07):
Yeah.
I I mean, I'll speak to myexperience just a little bit
here, but like in my mind, andmaybe in a lot of other women's
minds, I was like, oh, mypartner is gonna be all those
things.
Like they're gonna besupportive, they're gonna be
there, they're gonna help mewith all these things.
And I definitely think myhusband did, and many husbands
probably do as much as they can,but they also just went through
(15:32):
something like life-changing,like there's sleepless nights
for them, there's stress forthem, there's like all of the
things are happening to themtoo, in a maybe a different
capacity, but still they're inthe trenches, and so the idea of
a postpartum doula or like othersupport people specifically,
(15:56):
like in that postpartum period,I feel like could come in and
(16:55):
like care for the whole familyin a different way than two
adults who are just trying tolike keep this little child
alive.
You know, like some thousandpercent rather than just like,
oh, you know, we're reallytrying to make sure this child
stays alive.
That's one of the reasons why Ireally started this podcast.
(17:16):
And I know listeners who've beenlistening since the beginning
probably really know this, butlike the journey of becoming a
parent in itself, it needssupport and this time and
healing and this space to reallycome in and hold parents, hold
moms in this way.
So yeah, I guess that's anotherreason why I was really called
(17:37):
to have you on because that'sexactly what you do now with
your your work.
SPEAKER_00 (17:42):
Yeah, yeah, it's so true that I mean, I think about
you know what you said about youknow, just trying to keep the
baby alive, like the two people,but then there's also like your
house.
Like I can't believe how muchwork a house takes to keep
going.
And if you have pets or forgetit, like you know, so yeah, it
(18:07):
it's you know unfair of us tothink that our partners can do
that, you know, fully, becauselike you said, they also went
through something, they arebecoming a new, you know, parent
as well, and they just probablywitnessed the most intense thing
of their life seeing their babybe born.
(18:27):
I remember so I had two babiesand then I became a birth doula.
And I at my first birth that Iattended was a home birth,
everything was fine, baby washealthy, mom was healthy.
I just left that birth and criedmy eyes out because I was like,
wow, moms actually have thebetter role in that whole birth
(18:49):
thing because they get thehormonal cascade that like gives
them, you know, all the painrelief and like the altered
consciousness and whatever, andlike everyone else is just an
adrenaline.
Like I was just thinking, like,okay, so so if you think about
that, like the partner just cameout of this like really intense
(19:11):
birth witnessing their partner,you know, be in states they've
never even thought possible forthe physical body, right?
And it's a lot to ask of them tocompletely know, and they don't
know too, like what to do fully.
Like we're not taught.
So that's another level, too, islike teaching both parents.
(19:34):
Like, here's what to generallyexpect in postpartum, and here's
what's normal, and here's likered flags, and here's how to
really set yourself up forsuccess and get yourself some
support.
You know, that's the firstquestion I always ask is who's
your support team when babycomes?
And it's so good to take thatpressure off the partner.
(19:57):
And yeah, I agree.
This care needs to go on, like,yes, the first six weeks and
first eight weeks is reallyimportant, but then so are I
mean, I want to just like laughand say, so are the first 18
years, you know.
Like every phase has like a needof you know, new learning
(20:18):
because I feel like every time Iget used to my kids being, I'm
like, okay, I got this.
They're in this phase, challengecomes, I learn, I grow, and then
they change like instantly.
So then I have to do it allagain.
SPEAKER_01 (20:32):
Yeah, I've heard from people say like postpartum
is like forever.
It's not just the the firstyear, the first two years.
Maybe your hormones likeresettle and your body is quote
unquote physically healed fromthe the process of birth.
And I'm using quotes because Ifeel like there could be lasting
issues, unfortunately.
Generally speaking, those arethe guidelines, but I do think
(20:53):
that like, yeah, like what youjust said is so true.
Like, yeah, you're still being aparent for the very first time
to this human who is uniquelythem at the age of 10, uniquely
them at the age of 15, uniquelythem at the age of 20.
So even if you have multiplechildren, like you're still
parenting this individualdifferently, like every day in
(21:17):
every stage.
SPEAKER_00 (21:19):
Absolutely.
It's so true.
I mean, having two children, Ican tell you they're so
different.
I mean, they have somesimilarities, but man, they are
like completely opposites inother ways.
And it's so in Ayurveda, we havethese three windows of time in a
woman's life where she canreally up-level her health.
(21:40):
I sort of think of the MarioBrothers game, you know, back
from the 90s, where like Mario'sgoing along and he gets a little
mushroom and it makes himbigger, you know, and then he's
invincible.
It's like that.
So we have this time where wecan really boost ourselves and
like become somewhat invincibleto to illness, like moving
forward.
(22:01):
But if we don't pay attention tothat time, so it's menses,
postpartum, and menopausewindow, we can become really
depleted and and really lacking.
And I'm experiencing like nowperimenopause time parenting
too, like young adults, andthat's like a whole nother topic
(22:22):
that you know we could talkabout because like I'm going
through in some ways my secondpuberty, like my hormones are
all over the place, and I feellike there's more information
coming forward now, but there'sstill a lot that we don't know
about about this time, and everysingle body and person is
different.
And how do we still show up forour families and our kids?
(22:46):
And like in this time when we'reyou know changing so much as
women, it's like a whole notherepisode we could have together.
SPEAKER_01 (22:56):
I really like oh man, the layers of that onion
don't know cover this in oneepisode, but yes, I think the
hormonal shifts, and thenthey're also like I imagine,
especially if you haveteenagers, like this kind of
like mirror situation happening.
They often relate people who aremaybe not often people who are
(23:19):
in this world, I think, notnecessarily everyone, like
relate becoming a mom, likematrescence to adolescence,
right?
There's like that similaritythat has been drawn, but it's
like, okay, now there's thiswhole other time too after
becoming a mom where you'reprobably going through
perimenopause while yourchildren are also going through
(23:40):
their hormonal changes as ateenager.
So it's like, yeah, how tomanage everyone's mental health
at the same time.
Yeah.
That I think is like a uniquely,it could be like an entire
series, probably, of episodes onthe fire.
SPEAKER_00 (23:55):
Right.
Yeah.
And I mean, it really like whatcomes back for me is just like,
I think we're veryunder-resourced.
Like, even those of us who arein this work and doing it, like
I can speak for myself and justsay, like, there's been times
where I've confronted somechallenge, parenting, or like in
my own health.
(24:16):
And I'm like, I don't even knowwho to ask right now.
Like, I feel like, oh my gosh,like, where's my support net?
Where's my team of people?
You know?
And I think that's really likeat the core of the work that I
offer is just like screamingfrom the rooftops, like how much
we need community care, and howmuch we need this, these like
(24:39):
networks of people supportingeach other.
And before the problem comes upor the challenge comes up, so
that we actually know where togo.
And like we have that list of ofpeople, or like we've already
established that relationship.
And yeah, we just like we reallyneed each other, like,
especially in this crazy worldright now.
SPEAKER_01 (25:01):
I wish in general that society as a whole is more
in the mindset of like proactiveand like education and like you
said, like community care.
I feel like it's just been setup to be like this reactive,
last minute, urgent crisisresponse.
(25:21):
Thousand percent.
Which is just like devastatingbecause you can't catch
everybody when they're in acrisis, right?
You can't support people whenthey're maybe at a place where
they feel like I'm the only onegoing through this.
Whether it's like no, for me inpostpartum, I was like, I'm the
only one that feels like thisright now.
(25:42):
And I'm like, wait a second,Stephanie.
Actually, do you know some othermoms who've said this before,
right?
But like, if I wasn't connectedto those and I wasn't connected
to a community, I might be inthe position late at night, two
in the morning, breastfeeding,thinking to myself, like, what
am I doing?
I'm failing at this.
And I hadn't heard other womenor been connected to other
(26:04):
people who are going throughthis process.
I might have thought, like, yep,that's it.
I'm the only one, and like it behave devastating results.
So a thousand percent.
Yeah to a community and people,I think, is so life-saving in so
many ways, you know, from aspiritual, from a mental, from a
physical sense.
SPEAKER_00 (26:25):
I can totally relate to that in my own life.
I mean, I, you know, said I wasa young mom and I didn't have a
ton of support.
Like our families were kind oflike, what are you guys doing?
All because we were very likealternative for 25 years ago.
My oldest just turned 25.
So we were, you know, no plastictoys, no, you know, polyester
(26:48):
clothing, um, organic food, likeWaldorf education.
And that was really weird backthen.
In the mainstream, especially inthe Midwest where we lived,
right?
Yeah.
And so I really leaned into mycommunity for support.
And I remember uh these librarystory hours that this librarian
(27:13):
had every week, and she was theywere Waldorf inspired, so she
had like little, you know,felted puppets and cute little,
you know, things and stories andsilks and all of that.
And I would go every single weekwith both girls, and I swear to
you, that saved my life becauseI met so many other moms there,
(27:35):
and like it was just so sweet,and like the girls loved it, and
they would do a little craftafterwards, and like I could
have a moment of like not beingthe only parent on, you know,
and like let the community holdthem for an hour or two or
whatever it was.
And I swear that saved me mymental health so tremendously
(27:57):
much back then, and yeah, so Icompletely agree.
I think like having connectionswith other, with other moms and
other families when especiallywhen our kids are young and we
are like so in it with thelaundry and the food and the
naps and the all the things.
(28:19):
Oh, it's a lot.
It's all encompassing.
We in we you don't reallyrealize how much work and how
stressful it is until you likehave a moment to stop and like
step back and like say someonecomes in to offer care and
you're like, oh my gosh, like Ijust want to sleep.
I mean, I've had plenty of momsin postpartum time hire me, and
(28:44):
then I get to their house andlike we have ideas of things
we're gonna do, you know, forher wellness.
And she's like, actually, I needa nap.
I'm like, yeah, you do.
Go take a nap, you know.
It's uh it's pretty tremendousthe amount that you know, we're
really not meant to do alone.
And here, here we are, like inour little isolated families.
SPEAKER_01 (29:06):
Yeah, I feel like society is just getting more and
more isolated, right?
Especially with, you know, I'llspeak again for myself, like
living across the country frommy parents, living across the
country from my in-laws, likejust not having the same, maybe
like home base that peoplehistorically have had, whether,
(29:27):
or like even being removed fromlike communities that are
spiritual in nature, right?
And like being less for myself,I'll speak for myself, like less
connected to like a spiritualcommunity or like a religious
community, just kind of end upbeing like, Oh, I guess it's
just like me and my friends, andwe're all parents at the same
exact time, then they have, youknow, small children.
(29:52):
Like, how do you tap them in?
Whereas in previous times, oreven like with your services and
other people's services that arein support of this, like having
people who are not all in thesame phase at the same time is
also like really helpful.
Like having other women come inor you know, other people come
in to support the family, Ithink, yeah, it's just something
(30:16):
we don't have in our currentsociety, like already
established community.
SPEAKER_00 (30:23):
Thousand percent.
Yeah, it's really, I mean, whenyou look at almost every other
culture, you know, for sure,India, where Ayurveda comes
from, Mexico, you know, LatinAmerica, I mean, so many places,
Russia, um, Bali, Indonesia,Japan, China, they all have
(30:43):
postpartum things that they alldo.
It's like in their culture, likethe everyone just knows, okay,
when so-and-so has a baby, thenwe make this porridge, and then
we bring this soup, and then thegrandma comes and stays for six
weeks or whatever it is.
And she's trained in, you know,in India, like the grandmother
(31:05):
or auntie or sister or cousin orneighbor or whoever, some woman
of the uh that knows the motherwill come in and give the mom
warm oil massage every day for40 days, and baby too.
And you know, that has benefitsof like opening up the channels
so life force energy can flowthrough and tissues can heal
(31:28):
faster, and fluids can move, andlymphatic can move through the
body faster.
Your organs can come back intoplace easier, there's less like
pelvic floor issues, yournervous system downregulates,
all the there's a millionbenefits, right?
Of touch and and yet, and likeyou said, it's like it's the
family that shows up, it's thepeople, and we're so, you know,
(31:53):
in the United States, especiallyvery isolated.
I mean, our whole country wasset up on independence, right?
And like doing it ourselves,kind of energy, and and that's
really doing a huge disserviceto families nowadays.
SPEAKER_01 (32:07):
I mean, yeah, we've almost taken it too far, right?
Like if there's like a pendulum,right?
We're over here in this likeside where we're like completely
quote unquote independent fromone another, can't even you
know, not to get political, butwe can barely like share you
know ideas about how the worldshould work.
We're also like, this is the waythat it should be, yelling at
(32:28):
each other from the rooftops,rather than like being over here
in this place where it's like,yeah, we all have like a little
bit of differences and we allhave our own like unique
expressions, but like we'restill hold the same values and
beliefs and cultural identitiesand you know, historical,
cultural like stories andtraditions that are passed on.
SPEAKER_00 (32:50):
Totally.
And really, I think in thatspace of like, yes, we're all,
you know, we have differencesabout us, it's because we are
talking to each other and weactually know what those
differences are.
And we can see that, like, I cantalk to you, and if you have a
completely different view onraising your children than I do,
(33:12):
I can still like respect you andand be like, yeah, she's doing
her best in her life.
And instead of like shutting youout and like saying you're bad
and like, you know, then go voteon some law that would prevent
you from parenting your kids insome way or whatever, there's
that deeper understanding whenwe're in community, right?
(33:34):
Because we sit next to someonewho's crying because they lost
their child because they didn'thave adequate health care, and
like we're holding their handand we're like, wow, I can feel
empathy for you.
And instead of it being this,like across the screen, you
know, across the social mediawhere we're like losing that
like compassion, we're losingthat empathy for each other.
(33:57):
And yeah, there's so there'slike so many studies coming out
now.
I'm sure you've seen them aboutlike the number one thing that
really boosts longevity andhuman health and in life is not
diet, it's not exercise, it'snot, you know, whatever else we
say, like what herbs orpharmaceuticals we're taking,
(34:18):
but it's actually community inour relationships.
And so we can have all theseother healthy things, but if
we're still living independentlyand we're not resourced and
we're not connected, we we'renot gonna be healthy.
Like we have to care for eachother, we just do.
Yeah, we have to swoop eachother up and lay each other down
(34:39):
on quilted blankets and serveeach other tea.
We just have to, yeah.
I I agree.
SPEAKER_01 (34:45):
Yeah, I think what I was also thinking back to, and
we maybe already moved on fromthis point, but I just want to
like I guess go back to it aboutlike the idea that like uh an
auntie or grandma or whoeverwould come in and do those
massages.
Yeah, I think the only liketraditions that like really I
(35:06):
know about in American cultureis like, oh, you're pregnant,
let's have a baby shower.
Oh, we're pregnant, like Wendywants to visit.
Like, should we get shotsafterwards?
And like maybe that's not even aconversation, right?
So it's like, what traditions doreally exist to support new
(35:28):
parents, whether it's your firstchild or your third child, like
fifth child, whatever, like nota ton that are like established,
like routine, like this is justwhat happens.
SPEAKER_00 (35:41):
Totally.
I mean, and the baby shower wasjust like capitalism, right?
It's just like I mean, and youdon't need 99% of the things
that you get.
I mean, sure, every family needslike a car seat and like maybe a
stroller and some onesies anddiapers, but beyond that, like
newborns don't need much.
(36:02):
They just need them like aparent to hold them and um
warmth, you know.
And so, yeah, the the culturalpractices we have in our country
is they're pretty scarce.
And hopefully, like, I don'tknow, just I feel so lucky that
you know you invited me on thispodcast because this is what I
(36:23):
want to share is like this messmessage of there's other ways of
doing things that feel morenourishing for our spirit, our
soul, our you know, deep in ourbeing, that part of us that like
craves something, we're justlike, ugh, something feels off.
I don't know what it is, likethat's it.
We're craving this like deeperexperience.
(36:45):
We're craving this to be seen,to be held, to be cared for, to
be acknowledged.
Even when we're at our worst, orlike, you know, we're in
postpartum, like leaking all thefluids, sitting in adult
diapers, you know, like we needto be loved in all the moments.
And especially when we're whenwe're having a hard time and
(37:08):
we're struggling.
And that's especially when weneed to know that people will be
there for us and um feeding usporridge.
SPEAKER_01 (37:17):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I was hoping you could sharewhat does Ayurvedic care look
like in postpartum for peoplewho are maybe not familiar with
that at all.
SPEAKER_00 (37:28):
Yeah, great question.
So Ayurveda is it means thescience of life and it's a form
of health care from India.
It's more people probably knowof Chinese medicine, you know,
with acupuncture and uh Chineseherbs, and it's very similar,
but obviously a little bitdifferent from India.
And so we look at the fiveelements, and in postpartum, the
(37:52):
element that we're trying tobalance is the air and ether
elements, which can create, youknow, cold and space in the
body, and which can lead to moreof the postpartum depression or
postpartum mood disorders orinsomnia or excessive thoughts
or things of that nature.
(38:13):
And so all of the care inAyurvedic postpartum is catered
to balancing that, and that iswarm oil massages.
So there's a lovely herbal oilsthat we use to pour on the body
to help open up the lymphaticsystem and ground, like I
mentioned earlier, the nervoussystem.
There's foods that you know arevery warming and uh easy to
(38:39):
digest.
So sweet potato ginger soups.
You can think of like chaispices and rice porridge, and
there's some really lovely teasand almond milks with cardamom
and dates that we feed to mamasin postpartum.
And then there's some of theceremonial pieces.
(38:59):
So like the closing of the sixor eight-week journey in
postpartum, we will honor thattime in whatever way feels true
to the mom.
And all of the care is reallyfocused.
It's like mom-centric, which isvery different than like, say,
traditional postpartum doulas,where they're more like helping
(39:20):
the household, which is alsovery, very needed.
Like, of course, we all know howmuch care a house needs.
Um, so Ayurvedic postpartum careis more focused on the mom and
like the her journey or theirjourney towards healing.
And it can look very differentfor everyone, but again, active
listening is a big part of it.
(39:42):
I like to do just like someoracle card readings and some
aromatherapy to help the mindbody balance, herbal foot baths,
some uni steaming, some pelvicfloor care, all can be a part of
it.
But yeah, that that just showingup again and and being a person
(40:04):
who's there to nourish that mamaand that birthing person in that
first six weeks is really what'smost important.
SPEAKER_01 (40:14):
Yeah, I I know you mentioned like the the first six
weeks is really what your carefocuses on, but I I imagine, and
maybe this is wrong, but thefirst six weeks really sets you
up for success, hopefully forthe next six weeks.
And then six weeks after that,but are there like additional
services or other people thatyou would maybe refer people to
if maybe they're out of thatfirst six weeks, but they're
(40:36):
still like, man, I really needhealing or I really need support
that feels like I need to comeback to myself.
Yeah, I'm kind of curious ifeither you or you know other
people that provide that kind ofservice too.
Cause I think, yeah, I don'twant to have someone listen to
this and they're like eightweeks postpartum and they're
like, oh man, I missed my shot.
SPEAKER_00 (40:57):
Totally, absolutely.
You know, I actually work withwith mamas like anytime
postpartum.
So, like you said, postpartumnever ends.
And so I actually worked with amama recently who was going
through breast cancer treatmentand she was like being put in
menopause a little early.
(41:17):
And so um we did a postpartumtype package.
And what's cool about this workis that it's very like I was
mentioning, it balances air andether.
Air and ether are present prettymuch always in our world because
it's basically movement, right?
It's cold and it's movement,which is all we're doing in our
(41:38):
culture now, is like we have allthis information coming at us
and we're constantly doingthings.
And then, you know, we live inColorado, so it's like
everyone's always running up themountains, and like, you know,
there's like all of this drynessin this movement.
And so honestly, this care islike amazing for anyone in any
transition, like in any timewhere, like you said, someone
(42:02):
feels like they're disconnectedfrom themselves or they're
feeling like they need deepnourishment.
This care is for that time.
And so you're totally right,it's not just that for six
weeks.
I think it is amazing.
I mean, I've treated people ofall ages with this kind of care.
I've delivered meals forsurgeries, I've delivered meals
(42:25):
for sickness, for all kinds ofdifferent times of life where
somebody, you know, lost a jobor went through a divorce or
whatever it might be that is atransition type of time because
it's very unsettling to be intransition, right?
To whatever that might be.
And this care is meant to groundand nourish and warm and soothe
(42:48):
and calm and rejuvenate yourbody.
And so, yeah, I mean, I would, Iwould recommend it really for
anybody going through any kindof transition.
Thank you for asking that.
SPEAKER_01 (43:00):
Yeah, I just think there's like you've already kind
of highlighted here, like somany times where people really
need to remember that they'realso capable of like receiving
support.
Cause I know a lot of moms andwomen out there that are
probably listening to thispodcast are tend to be the
givers, right?
Tend to be the people out therelike being selfless and
(43:21):
supporting other people.
And like sounds like your careis like really meant to help
wrap them up in a nice warmblanket and like allow them to
receive care in a way that'sreally healing.
SPEAKER_00 (43:36):
Totally, really super healing, and it is really
hard, you know.
I think that's part of the cellthat kind of is tricky to get
people to buy into is likebecause of our independent
culture and our and how we'rekind of taught like from when
we're little to like do ityourself.
You know, I'm a big girl, I cando it myself, kind of vibe, you
(44:00):
know.
And we actually can't.
I'm sorry to tell you.
We we can, but at what cost?
Yeah, right.
And that's the thing that wejust have to surrender to.
Like, we cannot do it all.
Like, we cannot have the job, bea perfect parent, have a perfect
(44:21):
house, go on all the vacations,have perfect health all at the
same time, unless we'resupported and resourced.
SPEAKER_01 (44:29):
And even then, I'm like, oh, can you really do all
of those things?
I've seen plenty of like theselike reels on social media
saying things like, okay, so youexpect yourself to have this,
this, and this, and this.
Like, how do you how do youpossibly be perfect in all of
those things at the same time?
It's like, yeah, that's prettyunrealistic.
SPEAKER_00 (44:47):
It's pretty unrealistic, and yet we think we
can and we try, and then we beatourselves up when we can't get
there, and we won't give toourselves, we won't allow
ourselves to receive.
And you know, it's so importantto receive and whatever that
looks like for you, like askingfor someone to cook a meal for
(45:10):
you when you're sick.
Like, how have you ever donethat?
Like, that's hard to ask for.
It's like, hey, me and myhusband have the flu.
We have two little kids, and uhuh they're about to go down too,
I'm sure.
Like, can you bring us somesoup?
Like, we you know, we don'tnecessarily feel comfortable
(45:31):
doing that as a culture.
SPEAKER_01 (45:33):
Yeah, it's really interesting.
Not to like toot my own horn,but I've had some people and
around me go through somedifficult times, especially
after having a kid and me beinglike, hey, can I help?
And they're like, Um, let methink about it.
SPEAKER_00 (45:46):
And I'm like, think about it.
What do you what is there tothink about?
Let me go over.
SPEAKER_01 (45:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (45:52):
What do you mean?
SPEAKER_01 (45:53):
But there's like this like hesitation that people
have of like accepting help thatwhether it's their own idea that
they're gonna be a burden,whether they're thinking that
their situation's not badenough, quote unquote, to need
help, whether it's pride.
Like, I'm sure there's probablyplenty of reasons why people
resist receiving, but I don'tknow, this is your sign that you
(46:17):
should allow yourself to receivebecause it's such like a warm
feeling for yourself and itfills you up, so then you can go
and fill other people up.
And it's like this the cyclethat didn't just continue.
SPEAKER_00 (46:29):
My gosh, so much.
I I know.
So this community where mydaughters were born, we just had
this understanding that whensomeone had a baby, like you
didn't even have to know them.
Like you would get on their mailtrain and bring them food.
Like, oh, you know, so and so'sneighbor had a baby.
Okay, like when can I bringsoup?
(46:51):
Like it wasn't even a question.
And when I moved here, I justnoticed that wasn't so common.
It was just like reserved forlike their friends, close
friends that would bring food.
And I was like, Well, can Ibring a meal?
And people would look at melike, what?
Like, I'm like, Yeah, they're inthe community, like I wanna
(47:12):
help.
And yeah, I think if we all didthat, like, how can we like I
love that how you just said, CanI help?
Can I do something?
Like, if we all had thatmentality, like that would just
open the door, right?
Because sometimes you don't evenknow what you need, and you're
like, crap, I just had a baby,and like it was like me with the
(47:32):
doctor.
I don't know what questions toask, I don't know what help I
need.
SPEAKER_01 (47:36):
Yeah.
And this is kind of a uh relatedbut almost like a tangential
thought.
I think that there would be lessanxiety and less depression if
not just moms, but like thecommunity, like knew that other
people would be there for them.
That like you don't have to dothis by yourself.
(47:58):
I think there's so many peoplethat live out there just like
scared or worried that like theydon't know where their next meal
will come from, or they don'tknow who's gonna help them if
their car breaks down, or well,they're gonna get paid for their
cat's vet bills, or you know,all of these things that like
(48:18):
people are always just likeworried about.
And then, of course, just likethis internal feeling of like
I'm not good enough because Ican't figure this out by myself,
or I'm not good enough because Ican't solve all these problems
alone.
So let's all remember that we'renot supposed to be doing all
these things by ourselves andhaving to do it all alone.
SPEAKER_00 (48:41):
Totally.
Can you imagine like a thousandyears ago if people all lived
isolated, just in their littlecouples, like all over?
Like, I don't think be heretoday because we would have all
been eaten by something.
You know, we banded together inlike a community to like support
each other and like keep eachother safe and feed each other
(49:05):
and care for each other.
SPEAKER_01 (49:07):
And what the heck do we and even though like we still
all live in these quote unquotecommunities, I can't tell you
that I know most of myneighbors.
I was in the spot the other dayas I was driving down my street,
and I live in a neighborhoodwhere it there's a lot of
people, right?
It's not like where houses aresuper far apart, right?
Like it's like hi neighbor,you're right there.
(49:28):
So like I was just thinking tomyself, like, there's so many
people that live in this tinylittle area.
And yet I can guarantee you thatmost of us don't know each
other.
Yep.
Same in my neighborhood.
And so it's like they're allliving their lives literally
right next to each other.
And they could be strangers.
SPEAKER_00 (49:51):
Yeah, it's not okay.
SPEAKER_01 (49:53):
Um how we break down these walls is a whole
systematic problem.
But yeah, yeah, another podcastfor another day, but I mean it
speaks to this idea that likegoing out there and supporting
each other is really helpful,and people go through hard times
and people go through verynatural times too, like becoming
(50:13):
a mother that needs support.
So there doesn't need to be aproblem in order for there to be
support.
SPEAKER_00 (50:20):
I love that.
That needs to be a bumpersticker.
Yeah, it's so true.
It's so true, it's so beautiful.
And I love this conversation andreally hope that it inspires
whoever listens to, you know,give something to your
community, maybe someone youdon't know, like offer a meal
(50:42):
with a new baby, or whensomeone's sick, or whatever it
might be, like shovel someone'ssidewalk in the winter or
whatever it might be.
It's just like all of it makes adifference.
It really does.
SPEAKER_01 (50:56):
Yeah.
Well, I'd love for you to sharewith people how they can connect
with you.
And then yeah, if you have anyasks as far as like supporting
you back.
SPEAKER_00 (51:06):
Yeah.
If you want to connect with me,you can find me on Instagram,
bliss underscore alchemy.
And my also personal account isat Rodha Schwaller on Instagram.
And then my website isblissalchemy.net, and you can
read about my offerings there.
(51:27):
I do also offer holistic facialshere in the boulder area, and
it's a very mind-body-spiritexperience.
And so I really like the timeand slowness of a session with
someone to really drop in deeplyand nourish your mind, body, and
skin.
And then also, yeah, I have thisuh Ayurvedic postpartum doula
(51:51):
program that runs online uhabout three times a year,
depending on how the cycles go.
And it's nine modules, it's afour and a half, five month
program, and we really gothrough all the aspects of how
to support families inpostpartum, and as we learned in
this conversation, also in allkinds of other transitionary
(52:14):
moments in life.
So it's not just for postpartumdoulas, I would say.
Um, if you're looking to nourishyour clients, your family, your
community with Ayurveda, it's areally beautiful course for
that.
Yeah, so come find me.
I love people reaching out.
If you had any questions fromthis conversation, I'm happy to
(52:35):
answer, chat more aboutanything.
Yeah, we just all need eachother.
So thank you so much for havingme, Stephanie.
It's a pleasure to chat with youtoday.
I'm so happy that you're able tocome on today.
I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01 (52:50):
Thank you for tuning in to Redefining Us once again
and share with other people soother people can continue to
listen to Redefining Us and wecan get into more listeners'
ears.
If you follow us or subscribe orleave a comment or review, that
would be greatly helpful forother people to find us, and
(53:11):
also just for me to get somefeedback.
What do you guys want to hear mesay?
What do you women care abouthere?
I'm totally open to bringing onguests and talking about topics
that are unique and inspiring toeveryone, so please let me know.
And this year, hopefully we'refull of a lot of community
(53:31):
building, a lot of publicspeaking, a lot of resource
sharing.
So I really encourage you tofollow us on social media at
Wellminded Counseling onInstagram as our handle, as well
as going directly to ourwebsite,
wallmindedcounseling.combackslash redefining, type in
us, so you can be in the knowwith all the things that are
(53:53):
happening in the Redefining Uscommunity.
Once again, thank you so muchfor listening and keeping
awesome.
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