November 21, 2024 • 32 mins
Ashley Chang is the pioneering Founder and CEO of Sundays, an innovative service providing executive assistance specifically for ambitious parents.
In this episode of Rediscovering Connection, Ashley shares her motivation behind starting Sundays, inspired by her mother's experience balancing career and family in the tech-driven environment of the San Francisco Bay Area during the 80s.
Ashley delves into how Sundays alleviates the mental load for parents by handling life operations, or "life ops," allowing them to reclaim time for what matters most - family and joy.
We explore Sundays strategic decision to employ local parents who understand the nuances of family life in North America.
Our conversation also touches on Ashley's personal journey of learning to delegate, the role of social media in building a business, and developing systems that are right for you and your family.
This episode is made for you if you're striving to balance a demanding career and a satisfying family life. Insights including Ashley's approach to marketing through LinkedIn, conducting quarterly time and energy audits, and creating systems for successful families to thrive.
Find Ashley Chang on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleymchang/
Or visit https://withsundays.com/
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I hope our conversation inspires you to rediscover connection in your personal or professional life.
Subscribe now and let the magic unfold.
Love & sparkles,
✨Shelley
About Your Host
Hello you, I’m Shelley Doyle, founder of The Communiverse.
Through our 90-day program, The Social Wealth Roadmap, we empower remote and relocated leaders, founders, and creators build real-world social wealth—so they feel connected, trusted, and supported, both online and offline, no matter where they are in the world.
We also support hybrid and distributed teams, combining cutting-edge research on social well-being and social wealth with two decades in corporate communications to deliver mind-shifting talks, workshops, and programs around the world.
Find out more at TheCommuniverse.com or find me on LinkedIn.
Global Workshop Tour "Beyond Screens" is in full swing! Booking now for 2025
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Shelley (00:00):
Hello and welcome to Rediscovering Connection.
I am Shelley Doyle.
And this podcast is all aboutspeaking to innovative founders,
leaders, community builders, andresearchers who are on the
cutting edge of connection.
Maybe they found new ways toconnect in their own lives, or
they're finding ways to helptheir clients connect.
(00:22):
Um, my guest today is one of thelatter.
So she's really finding ways tohelp her clients reconnect with
time and actually get time backin their lives.
for the people that matter themost.
Welcome Ashley.
Thank you so much for being withme today.
Do you want to start by justgiving us a little bit about
what, what you do and reallyyour motivation, why you started
(00:45):
doing this work?
Ashley (00:47):
Yeah.
Thank you so much for having me,Shelley.
I really appreciate it.
Um, so I am the founder of acompany called Sundays and
Sundays is an executiveassistant service for working
parents.
So our goal is to, um, take offthe admin work, uh, off parent's
plates so that they get morefocused time back at work and
more quality time back at home.
(01:07):
Um, and the reason that I wasdrawn to Start Sundays is
actually my own mom.
She was a computer scientist inthe eighties in the San
Francisco Bay Area.
Um, and as she started to havekids, she felt like she really
couldn't do both family and workand she had to make a choice
between them.
Um, and she chose to stay homewith us, which I am super
grateful for all the time that Igot with her.
(01:28):
Um, but I think she missed outon a little bit of personal
fulfillment.
She could have had outside ofthe home.
Um, and.
The world has missed out ongenerations of what women can
contribute to the workforce whenthey are able to be a part of
the paid workforce.
And so I've always been reallyinterested in this.
I joined the tech industry, sametech industry in the same
location about 25 years later.
(01:50):
Um, and I saw so many women, um,start to have to make the same
choice.
A lot of the smartest, um, andmost driven people I knew as
they had families, um, ran againinto this wall of balancing
family and work, um, and had tochoose between family or work or
are constantly feeling likethey're failing at both.
Um, And so that was really whatdrove me to start Sunday is I
(02:15):
started by just interviewing asmany parents as I could about
what makes it so hard to balanceboth and what works or what
doesn't work.
And, and ended up with what wedo today, which is we have a
team of executive assistants.
And they are all based in the USright now, and they're all other
parents so they understand thesame struggles that are.
(02:35):
Our clients are going through,um, and then we help them with
what I call life ops.
So all the things that underliekeeping your family running,
like making sure dentistsappointments get scheduled, or
you get signed up for sportsleagues next season, or you're
ready for the holidays.
Um, and hopefully give parentsthat time back for doing things
that they really care about.
(02:56):
I
Shelley (02:57):
love it.
I love it so much.
And it's such a different,different slant on it.
Cause there's like quite a lotof, um, virtual assistant
companies.
And as a coach, I've beenintroduced to quite a few of
these companies.
One of them that did soundamazing, it outsourced.
Um, so all of it's in all of itsVAs were based in the
Philippines.
(03:18):
I, I, I had a VA here for awhile.
And I really did appreciatehaving that closer touch point
with people who are, uh, likephysically here.
Was that an intentional decisionto employ local VAs?
Ashley (03:35):
Yeah.
Um, so when we first started, weexperimented with hiring people
in other countries, and I think,um, there are a lot of amazing
people in other countries thatcan do great work.
Um, but there's so much culturalknowledge that comes with what
it takes to raise a family hereand how our school systems work
and how summer camps work andthings like that, that, um, it's
(03:57):
really valuable to have thatfirsthand knowledge of
experiencing that yourself and,um, Making, yeah, understanding
exactly how those systems workso that you can help other
families with it.
When we were, um, looking athiring people from other
countries, we felt like it wouldbe like a lot of training, um,
in order to get them up to speedand, and also just needing that
(04:17):
kind of constant remindersbecause it's not a part of their
day to day life.
Um, whereas for our team here,it is something they're
personally experiencing.
And so they're really preparedand really able to be proactive
about those things.
Shelley (04:29):
So are they typically
Ashley (04:30):
moms?
They are almost all moms.
We have one dad on our teamtoday, and we're definitely
interested in bringing more,more dads on to, um, but a lot
of really awesome moms.
And we hire most people, um,part time so that they can have
flexibility in their day wherethey can still pick up their
kids from school or get to asoccer game or something like
(04:50):
that.
Love
Shelley (04:52):
it.
So yeah, so what I was leadingto, I think with the talking
about the other VAs, it's alwaysbusiness outsourcing.
So this is, this is a reallydifferent, it's just not
something I've heard before,like obviously a lot of, a lot
of people that I know and I havehad cleaners in the past,
haven't right now and I'mconfused as to why that is not
the case.
(05:12):
And that, but, but other thingslike, yeah, life ops, you call
it, which I love, life ops.
It's like how to have thatmanaged efficiently so your day
to day, your kids are in thecamps that you wanted to get
them in because that's onsomebody else's to do list at
the right time.
Cause I know like just to get mykids into swimming, um, swimming
(05:35):
lessons, it's like 6 a.
m.
You have to be on at 6 a.
m.
and you have to have the lessonsthat you want in your basket and
press go.
Otherwise, no chance, right?
So somebody else could be doingthat
Ashley (05:46):
on your behalf.
Exactly.
Or yes, it's at 6am or it's atlike 10am in the middle of your
work day and you're like, I havea big presentation, but I will
secretly be on my phone tryingto get into these lessons.
So yeah, exactly that type ofwork.
Shelley (06:02):
And something that really spoke to me, um, which
you shared quite candidly onLinkedIn some months ago leading
up to your wedding.
Um, you shared that everythingwas going great, like your
business is thriving, and yetyour body is speaking to you and
telling you that something isn'tright.
So you are obviously workingyourself to the ground.
(06:23):
Yeah.
Um, and then there was a bigreminder of the work that you're
doing, right?
And it's like, how do I, do Ilive?
The work that I'm helpingothers.
So tell us a little bit aboutthat.
Ashley (06:37):
Yeah.
I mean, I, so I came to thisproblem by realizing that it was
a problem that so many parentswere running into and not
necessarily by being an expertat delegating myself.
Um, and I think that verysimilar to many of our clients.
I, I like to do a lot of thingsat once.
So I was like starting thiscompany, it was planning a
international wedding.
(06:58):
Um, and I.
And things were going well.
So I was like, Sundays is, isworking really well.
We, um, have a lot of reallyexciting clients that we're
working with and we're startingto grow the team.
Um, and at the same time, I wasdoing a lot of stuff on the
personal front too.
And, um, and I set these kindof.
Arbitrary deadlines for myselfwhere I was like before the
(07:21):
wedding XYZ must happen.
And for months, I was like,okay, 90 days, 60 days, like 15
days.
And so I like put all of thispressure on myself to get these
things done.
And in some ways, pressure isgood because it gets done.
helps you move faster, but, um,but I wasn't doing it in a way
that was scalable.
So at the time, like every,especially on the Sunday side,
(07:43):
every single thing was runningthrough me.
Like we had 15 people on theteam, every person reported to
me, every client, um, questionor complaint got like escalated
directly to me, even if it wasreally minor.
Um, and I.
Literally just like my bodycould not handle the stress of
like every day trying to dothis, all of those things to
(08:05):
just like, keep everythingafloat.
In addition to trying to growthe business.
And I, um, ended up with not anulcer, but like almost an ulcer
where I was, I literally couldnot sleep at night.
Cause I was like having suchsevere stomach pain.
And I don't know if this hasever happened to me, another
person to you, but anotherperson on my team said this
happened to her too.
(08:25):
And it's like, Um, it was likereally severe pain.
I was like, I like, do I need togo to the hospital?
Or like, is this something thatwill like, I'll overcome.
And so I ended up going to thedoctor and she was like, do you
know what the cause of your painis?
Like, there isn't really amedical reason.
It's actually just like thestress that you're putting on
yourself that causes can causelike a bodily reaction.
(08:47):
So, um, kind of hit this pointright before, like literally the
day before we're flying to thewedding, I was like, I, Must go
to the doctor today becauseotherwise I think I'm like, not
going to be able to be presentand enjoy the wedding.
So it kind of a, a rock bottomright there.
Um, and it was a good lesson forme and, and actually learning to
(09:09):
delegate and give other peopleownership and responsibility
too.
Shelley (09:14):
And I just think it is the way of so many coaches, like
we, we teach what we need tolearn.
And I think that is a truth.
Ashley (09:26):
Yeah.
Shelley (09:26):
Uh huh.
And our passion comes from ourpain.
So you saw the pain in yourfamily from, from your mom and
you thought, I want to do this.
I want to be able to do thisright.
So you set yourself up forsuccess when you, when you start
your family.
Um, and something that just camethrough when you were saying
about the 90 days, 60 days, 30days, you come from a product
(09:48):
background.
So presumably you're used tothose products sprints.
And those preparing to launchsprints.
So you're, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you're in that mindset forlaunches.
Yeah.
How did it feel to then go,okay, maybe we're not going to
hit these milestones.
Maybe I need to give myself moregrace.
Ashley (10:06):
Yeah, I think that, um, well, I think one thing that was
interesting is like, we actuallydid hit a lot of the milestones
that I wanted to, but then I wasconstantly kind of like moving
the goalposts.
I was like, okay, we did this.
Like, what's the next big thingwe can do?
Um, And I think a lot of peoplewho are used to being in this
like, like, high achievingmindset do that a lot where
(10:28):
they're like, Okay, what's thenext big thing and you don't
stop to like celebrate theaccomplishments that you have.
And, and so.
And also when you're at thisreally early stage of starting a
company, you actually don'treally know what milestones are
realistic at all.
You're like, well, let me justthrow something out there and
hope that we get there.
Um, and so now I'm trying to be,I think it's easier since we're
(10:51):
at a later stage of the company,but trying to be a little bit
more realistic with like, I knowwhat things can get us to be
certain milestones now.
And do I even have enough timein my own day to do that?
Or do we have enough time acrossour team to be able to get to
those milestones?
That These specific points.
So, um, both just being morerealistic.
(11:11):
And then also, as you said,giving myself and the team more
grace to, um, accept when maybewe're learning something, but we
didn't, we didn't hit the exact
Shelley (11:22):
milestone we were hoping for.
So let's talk about time.
So now you had that deep, deeplearning and you started to
delegate.
I guess, how does it feel toactually be living what you've
gifted your clients, what you'vegifted the mums that then have
time back to have with theirfamilies?
(11:44):
How does it feel to have, like,sorted that out for yourself and
relinquished some control andnow you have some time, perhaps
more time for yourrelationships, for your new
marriage and all of those, allof those things that you really
wanted to be able to prioritise?
Ashley (12:03):
Yeah, it is such a relief and just like so much
more joy in my own day to day.
Um, it's definitely slow work inprogress where I'm learning what
it takes.
Um, and it, it took a lot ofwork to get to this point where
even once I realized I need tohand things more things off,
it's not an, it's not liketomorrow things are just handed
(12:24):
off.
It's.
Like you have to find, for me atleast, it was finding the right
people, building trust withthose people.
Um, luckily we already had somepeople on our team who were in
great positions for that.
Um, and then figuring out whatsystems to put in place so that
they can have the ownership thatI want them to have, but I still
have the comfort of knowingthings are going well.
Um, and so there's a lot of workthat goes into building those
(12:46):
systems too.
But now that we are a few monthsinto that, I, it's.
improve my days like a thousandpercent where I really enjoy and
look forward to like every daygetting to start work and every
day, um, hearing from the peoplewho do have those ownership,
that ownership now and howthings are going and how they're
feeling and growth in their owncareers, which is really
(13:08):
exciting.
Shelley (13:10):
Beautiful.
Um, we, we have spoken a littlebit about, um, about channels.
And I wonder if we can just goback to that, um, uh, topic that
I'm really passionate about andinterested in right now is
social wealth and how we buildsocial wealth into our, into our
lives.
(13:30):
And one of the foundationalpillars is personal expression.
So it's finding ways that wefeel able to express ourselves.
Authentically fully.
Um, yeah, I wonder, I wonder ifyou want to speak to that about
any of the ways that you foundyou feel really natural because
being a founder of a company,you don't necessarily prepare
(13:50):
yourself to be at thespokesperson at different and
like, where's your comfortlevels in terms of being that
being that the face of Sundays.
Ashley (14:00):
Yeah, um, it's really interesting.
I think when I come from aproduct background, and so I
really hadn't done any sort oflike marketing before starting
Sundays.
Um, and I, at first I was notprepared, but the more that I
got into it, the more Irealized, like, you kind of have
to be your company a little bit,at least in the beginning,
because if you don't tell peoplewhat's happening, like what
(14:23):
you're working on, no one isgoing to find it.
Um, and I think, especiallypeople who have like a product
or engineering background, a lotof us come in thinking like, I
will build this great thing andpeople will love it and they'll
buy it.
Um, that's not actually how itworks because people can't.
love it and buy it if they don'tknow that it exists.
Um, and so there's this processof helping people find, like,
find out that it exists.
(14:43):
Um, and I, what I really love, Ithink my also a mindset shift I
made was I was like afraid to dosales and marketing because it
felt like very sale y and Ithink a lot of us don't like
Being sold to, um, but areframe, I think that's been
really helpful for me isthinking of it more as, um,
(15:05):
helping people who have aproblem, find a solution to
their problem.
So I'm not trying to convincepeople that this is the, that
don't have this problem, thatthey need it.
It's mostly finding people whoalready are suffering from this
problem and trying to help themfind the right solution, whether
that's working with us orsetting their own systems or
something like that.
Um, and so.
I went through a big journey oflearning marketing.
(15:27):
At one point I literally wouldhave in my days, like a block
that said do marketing, and thenI would get there and be like,
Oh my gosh, what do I do?
And, and I started experimentingwith different ways to get the
word out.
Um, and ended up focusing onLinkedIn.
Um, basically I did these likeshort two week experiments and a
few different channels.
Um, and LinkedIn was the placewhere.
(15:49):
I could get the fastest feedbackand also, um, LinkedIn, I really
like because you start with anetwork of people who already
know you personally and thatyou've spent years probably
developing relationships withand, um, whether they're a
customer or not they'regenerally supportive of you, um,
Doing this work.
I hope, I think maybe you foundthis as well, where people are
(16:09):
just like, wow, that's reallycool that someone I've known for
years is like going out on theirown.
Um, and so, yeah, what I, andLinkedIn has been a journey.
I started just like, I'm goingto post every day for two weeks
and see what happens.
Um, And got really positivefeedback just in that quick, uh,
quick experiment.
And then now, um, it is our, byfar our main marketing channel
(16:32):
for Sundays.
So, um, I post, I try to postevery weekday and then I don't
look at it.
I don't look at it at all on theweekends.
And, um, And then have developedkind of a marketing strategy
around, um, the types of thingsthat I post, but also I
personally write every singlething that is that we put out
(16:53):
there and, um, take a lot ofpride in making sure that it.
Feels like it's coming from mepersonally.
And that has led to connect.
I think I was telling you beforewe started recording that, um,
it's, it is blown me away howmany amazing people I've been
able to connect with throughLinkedIn and build, um, what at
this point feel like long termrelationships with people that I
(17:15):
just met on the internet, whichI had never had an experience
with before.
Shelley (17:20):
Beautiful.
And yeah, I have a note on myfridge, no email or LinkedIn at
the weekends.
So I'm the same as you andthat's it.
We have to play with these, notonly these kinds of tests for
different social platforms, butboundaries.
on ourselves because as businessowners, it can be all consuming
and like the tendency, thetemptation to just check your
(17:43):
phone and just this and justthat.
But, uh, yeah, like you, I knowthat I need that decompression
over the weekend, particularly.
Um, I do sometimes try and do itfrom say four o'clock in the
morning.
weekdays as well.
So I can be really present withmy kids once they're home from
school.
Um, and just, yeah, testing andfeeling into what actually makes
(18:04):
us feel healthy and recharge,recharge.
So the next day when we, we'reready to start again, we're
actually ready to start againbecause we have had that
conscious pause.
Ashley (18:16):
Yeah.
I think it makes so muchdifference.
I actually have this, I havethis sticky note that says end
the day on my, um, desk andthat's something I've been
working on.
And I think I've gotten betterat is just like on a, um, day to
day basis of like, actually likethe, the to do list is never
ending.
It will always be theretomorrow.
Um, but giving myself the timeback on a daily basis to really.
(18:40):
Reset and be able to come thenext day with energy.
Cause I think for a while Iwould work, I would just keep
working all night.
And sometimes maybe there's abig project where you need to
push through for that, but, um,you don't need to do that every
day.
And being able to actually, Ithink energy is our most
valuable resource.
So, um, figuring out what ittakes to.
(19:00):
recharge and be able to startEnergized is really valuable.
Shelley (19:06):
And just thinking about the topic of time, like what
kind of feedback are you gettingfrom clients?
Like how, because this is such anew service, what are your
clients saying?
Ashley (19:18):
I think that the biggest thing that we help people do is,
is reduce their mental loadwhere they can just like give
something to us, and we can takeit and run with it and they're
like okay.
Shelby has this handled now, uh,and that's really valuable.
And also, I think people whowork best with us kind of loop
us in really regularly to theirday to day so they'll send us
(19:39):
like a text message on a dailybasis.
The like just kind of forwardthings to us throughout the day
and then we set up times tocheck in with them and be like
okay tell it let's talk throughlike, is this a priority.
Um, one thing last week, I wasreally excited.
Um, one of our clients started anew executive role.
And one of, one of my big goalsis to help get more moms into
(20:00):
leadership roles, because Ithink that's how we can reshape
how, how we work.
Society overall thinks aboutbalancing family and work.
Um, so we had a client who hasbeen prepping to start this new
leadership role for a couple ofmonths and working with the
person on our team.
Um, and she has three kids, theylive in Manhattan.
Each of the kids does like threeactivities every week.
And so, um, normally the mom islike super involved in planning
(20:24):
that and has that kind ofrunning in the back of her mind
every day.
And she called us last week inher first week of work and said,
I haven't had to think about thekids at all.
Like I'm so confident that youhave it handled for me that I
feel really good and reallyconfident in my first week of
work, which I thought was reallyfun.
Shelley (20:41):
Amazing.
So, um, yeah, I guess what,what's, what's next for you?
Like, what's your, what's thenext big thing that, um, that is
really gonna help you to thrivepersonally or professionally?
Um, knowing all what you havelearned up till now, is there
something that That you'restriving for.
Ashley (21:04):
Yeah.
Um, that is a good question.
I I'm expecting my first inearly next year.
And so a lot of what I'mthinking about now on the
personal side is like how to usemore of these systems that I've
been learning from all of theseother amazing parents.
And we've been building for theparents we work with in my own
life.
It's it's just so interesting tosee all of the components
(21:24):
already that, um, I'm thinkingabout differently than I was
before.
Um, so.
Yeah, trying to figure out theright systems for our family
going forward, which has beenreally fun.
Something I did at the beginningof, um, This delegation period
I've been in was I did thisthing called a time and energy
(21:45):
audit and basically for a coupleof days I tracked what I would
do what I was doing every 15minutes and I would just like
write a list of it and then atthe end, um, wrote like How does
this affect my energy?
Like, does it give me energy ordoes it take away energy?
And then, um, how valuable isthis in terms of like, how
important is this, um, either tothe company or to my personal
(22:06):
life?
And, um, that kind of gives youthese quadrants where you end up
with like things that areimportant for you to do, things
that are important, but somebodyelse can help you with, um, and
then things that maybe you canjust.
Um, and so I think that was areally interesting check in for
me personally of like what,whether my time was aligned with
(22:30):
what I wanted to be doing.
Um, and I hope to continue doingthat on like a quarterly basis
or something to figure out asbusiness and family evolves,
which areas I want to lean intoand lean out of more.
Shelley (22:45):
Yeah.
I love that time and energyaudit.
I Um, I have something similarlike a joy o meter and we'll do
it for spending time with peopleand it's like some people are
very time poor and it's likewell what about if you just go
around for a 30 minute coffeelike would that be a worthwhile
commute and time with each otheror are you better off saving
(23:08):
that time in the time bank andthen catching up for a couple of
hours and having a more deepdive interaction.
Jen.
Jen.
And then with my kids, I do itwith money, like they get, um,
they get money for when theyread books.
They'll get a dollar.
So encouraging them to read.
And then when they go to spendthe money, it's like, okay,
let's think about how much joyyou're going to get out of that
(23:28):
thing.
Like they just bought thislittle motorbike thing and it's
like, not, not, wasn't veryexpensive, but like thinking,
are you going to get the valueout of that in comparison to
these other things?
And yeah, I love that.
The idea of, um, reallyanalyzing that and make more
intentional choices of our timeand, um, and investment as well.
(23:50):
Really like that.
Um, yeah.
Thinking on that, is there, isthere another tool that you
could share with busy moms outthere that are really struggling
to do it all, that could, theycould think about either
outsourcing something or doingsomething a different way, um,
to help relieve that timepressure?
Ashley (24:11):
Yeah, that's a great question.
Um, I think that.
Other things that I've seen, Ithink it's just like building
systems that work for yourfamily.
Um, so one thing in particular,and we do this a few ways, but,
um, like meal planning is one ofthose things that is constantly,
um, on parents minds as, as theylive their lives and eat and try
(24:35):
to get their kids to eat too.
Um, and so I think figuring outa meal planning system that
works for your family, that is.
Fast is something that's reallyvaluable.
So we, some families we workwith will have very particular
meal planning needs and we willlike do spreadsheets with them
where we're like, okay, are wegetting all of the macros that
you want it or something likethat?
Um, but then for most families,I think there are a lot of,
(24:57):
there's like great apps outthere that can actually do a lot
of the meal planning for you,where you upload your own
recipes and you build a plan forthe week.
Order groceries and, um, thosecan be really, those can really
save a lot of time.
So we use an app called maple,um, pretty frequently for that.
Um, there are others that mighthave different needs, but I
think figuring out even like onesmall system that works for your
(25:19):
family can be really, reallyhelpful.
Um, other things we're trying todo are build out like.
Um, guides or checklists wherewe think of like everything you
might need to think of.
So we have one that we built forHalloween, where we were like,
here are all the things that gointo making sure your family is
ready for Halloween.
And it's like, it's brainstormcostumes, think about like face
(25:42):
paint.
Um, but also like make sure thatyou check the weather and you
have a backup outfit in case,um, in case it ends up not
being, not being good weather orlike look for routes.
Um, so those are things where.
We're trying to identifyeverything that you need to do
so you don't have to think aboutit.
I think it's like that freethinking actually takes a lot of
energy.
A lot of times, like actuallyexecuting the tasks is not as
(26:05):
time intensive as, um, asremembering all these things you
need to do.
So, um, for us, we thinkbuilding out these systems of,
of processes you do every timeyou run into the holidays or
every time you run into summercamp planning can save a lot of
time.
Shelley (26:21):
So good.
So good.
And we did get into a habit of,um, family meetings when we
lived at the eco village.
So there they would do it everyFriday was like a heart circle.
So we got into the habit ofdoing that.
I think weekly became a bit.
too regular for such a formalmeeting, um, with the family.
(26:44):
So we still have like breakfaston a Sunday and we'll kind of
have a bit of a, um, uh, routinewhen that happens.
Um, but yeah, otherwise, whenyou were talking about the meal
planning, like our system in ourhouse, which has just evolved
naturally, I always do thegrocery shopping and then my
partner will like see what Ibought and then he'll do a meal
(27:04):
plan based on what is there.
So kind of the other way aroundto the apps of like going to buy
things, but that seems to workfor us.
Um, yeah, he's the, he's the keychef in our house.
I'm the commis chef.
So.
Ashley (27:18):
I love it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that makes a lot ofsense.
And people, sometimes it's justlike some people just have like
a whiteboard that they use, buthaving that system that works
makes sense.
And I love the weekly meeting aswell.
Um, We right now we don't do asmuch of the like coaching on
changing your behavior, althoughthat is a big shift that we see
most successful families do.
(27:39):
Um, and I think the, the weeklymeeting is really interesting.
I have done that with mypartner.
On occasion, but we struggled todo it on the weekend because we
were like, we really just wantto be relaxed for the weekend.
Um, but then sometimes the weekfeels super busy to get it in.
So, um, but a lot of familiesthat I know, and also a lot of
families who are able tosuccessfully outsource do this
(28:01):
kind of planning betweenthemselves.
So they know what theirpriorities are and they can
identify things that are not asgood of a use of their time.
Shelley (28:09):
Yeah, I just, one thing that's coming up, when we did
have one of those weeklymeetings, when we moved, um,
back to Langford, uh, the schoolthat my daughter goes to, they
don't allow Pokémon in theschool, like, there's just no,
nothing against Pokémon, theyjust don't allow toys.
Got it.
And my daughter, they used to,they used to trade Pokémon cards
at her old school, so she waslike, really sad that she didn't
(28:30):
get a chance to like, use thisbig collection of cards.
So we were like, okay, let'slaunch a Pokemon club.
But that came up in one of thosefamily meetings.
It's like, is there anythingthat's, anything that's come up
for you that you just want tolike share with us and like a
really kind kind of invitationto share?
So those kinds of things come tothe surface then it's like, it's
giving the space, giving theinvitation to share, um, can be
(28:53):
really revealing.
Ashley (28:55):
Yeah.
Super interesting.
And how do you involve the kidsin the meeting usually?
Shelley (28:59):
Um, yeah, so we, so we all sit in a four and we use
something as a talking stick.
So, and this came from the ecovillage, so we would take turns
and we would say, maybe we'dstart by saying something we're
grateful for to kind of just getthe flow of conversation moving
around.
And then we'll say, is thereanything coming up for you?
Anything that, that happenedthat was great this week or
(29:21):
anything that wasn't so great oranything that you just want to
share.
And then we'll just take turnstalking and just see what kind
of naturally comes.
I love it.
That's really great.
Is there anything that youhaven't shared today that you
think I can't leave thisconversation before sharing this
with whoever might choose tolisten to this conversation?
Ashley (29:44):
I think that what we've been talking about is just like
the value of, of time and, andenergy.
And I think that, um, what I'veseen from a lot of the most
successful families I've workedwith are that they.
give themselves permission tovalue their own time, um, and,
and yeah, pay for time back ifthat's what is needed, um, or
(30:10):
figure out a system betweenthemselves where they get some
time back, um, for personal timeand for family time, um, and I
think just, It's okay to valueyour own time and to, um, and to
use that to do whateverconnection you need.
So, um, if anybody is lookingfor a little bit of permission,
(30:33):
please take permission from me.
Um, and even if it's just toexperiment with that and see
how, um, how it works for youand how you might want to evolve
it over time, I think that, um,it's.
It's so valuable.
Shelley (30:47):
Well said, well said.
And I guess on this, in the samebreath, like what I'm doing is
helping people to reconnect withfriends, with Connections that
maybe were a big part of theirpast and with technology, what
it is today, there's really noreason why they can't be a part
of our current present, ifindeed there is that alignment,
(31:09):
maybe you're at the same stage,maybe you're both having
children at the same time andyou haven't been connected for a
while.
So I'm helping people to findways to reconnect and really
rekindle some of those reallynourishing.
Um, relationships in theirlives, but time again is a big
reason why that comes up againand again, why we're not doing
this, especially if we're, youknow, high achieving business
(31:32):
people.
And we've invested so much inthe business and financial
wealth.
Unfortunately, that, that comesas sometimes neglecting our
social wealth and our socialwell being.
So having some of that time backto reinvest into the
relationships that matter canreally serve our present and our
(31:53):
future selves.
Ashley (31:55):
I love Ashley, it's so important.
Shelley (31:56):
It's all linked in.
Well, it was so beautifulgetting to know you a bit more,
Ashley, and I wish you everysuccess.
I'm excited for this.
I'm excited to share this withso many busy moms and dads that
I know that could benefit fromhaving this kind of service.
So yeah, really excited to seewhat, to see where your journey,
where your journey goes.
Congratulations.
Ashley (32:18):
so much, Shelly.
And I really appreciate youhaving me, um, I think these
conversations are so valuable.
So recommend listening to allthe rest of them too.
Hello and welcome to Rediscovering Connection.
I am Shelley Doyle.
And this podcast is all aboutspeaking to innovative founders,
leaders, community builders, andresearchers who are on the
cutting edge of connection.
Maybe they found new ways toconnect in their own lives, or
they're finding ways to helptheir clients connect.
(00:22):
Um, my guest today is one of thelatter.
So she's really finding ways tohelp her clients reconnect with
time and actually get time backin their lives.
for the people that matter themost.
Welcome Ashley.
Thank you so much for being withme today.
Do you want to start by justgiving us a little bit about
what, what you do and reallyyour motivation, why you started
(00:45):
doing this work?
Ashley (00:47):
Yeah.
Thank you so much for having me,Shelley.
I really appreciate it.
Um, so I am the founder of acompany called Sundays and
Sundays is an executiveassistant service for working
parents.
So our goal is to, um, take offthe admin work, uh, off parent's
plates so that they get morefocused time back at work and
more quality time back at home.
(01:07):
Um, and the reason that I wasdrawn to Start Sundays is
actually my own mom.
She was a computer scientist inthe eighties in the San
Francisco Bay Area.
Um, and as she started to havekids, she felt like she really
couldn't do both family and workand she had to make a choice
between them.
Um, and she chose to stay homewith us, which I am super
grateful for all the time that Igot with her.
(01:28):
Um, but I think she missed outon a little bit of personal
fulfillment.
She could have had outside ofthe home.
Um, and.
The world has missed out ongenerations of what women can
contribute to the workforce whenthey are able to be a part of
the paid workforce.
And so I've always been reallyinterested in this.
I joined the tech industry, sametech industry in the same
location about 25 years later.
(01:50):
Um, and I saw so many women, um,start to have to make the same
choice.
A lot of the smartest, um, andmost driven people I knew as
they had families, um, ran againinto this wall of balancing
family and work, um, and had tochoose between family or work or
are constantly feeling likethey're failing at both.
Um, And so that was really whatdrove me to start Sunday is I
(02:15):
started by just interviewing asmany parents as I could about
what makes it so hard to balanceboth and what works or what
doesn't work.
And, and ended up with what wedo today, which is we have a
team of executive assistants.
And they are all based in the USright now, and they're all other
parents so they understand thesame struggles that are.
(02:35):
Our clients are going through,um, and then we help them with
what I call life ops.
So all the things that underliekeeping your family running,
like making sure dentistsappointments get scheduled, or
you get signed up for sportsleagues next season, or you're
ready for the holidays.
Um, and hopefully give parentsthat time back for doing things
that they really care about.
(02:56):
I
Shelley (02:57):
love it.
I love it so much.
And it's such a different,different slant on it.
Cause there's like quite a lotof, um, virtual assistant
companies.
And as a coach, I've beenintroduced to quite a few of
these companies.
One of them that did soundamazing, it outsourced.
Um, so all of it's in all of itsVAs were based in the
Philippines.
(03:18):
I, I, I had a VA here for awhile.
And I really did appreciatehaving that closer touch point
with people who are, uh, likephysically here.
Was that an intentional decisionto employ local VAs?
Ashley (03:35):
Yeah.
Um, so when we first started, weexperimented with hiring people
in other countries, and I think,um, there are a lot of amazing
people in other countries thatcan do great work.
Um, but there's so much culturalknowledge that comes with what
it takes to raise a family hereand how our school systems work
and how summer camps work andthings like that, that, um, it's
(03:57):
really valuable to have thatfirsthand knowledge of
experiencing that yourself and,um, Making, yeah, understanding
exactly how those systems workso that you can help other
families with it.
When we were, um, looking athiring people from other
countries, we felt like it wouldbe like a lot of training, um,
in order to get them up to speedand, and also just needing that
(04:17):
kind of constant remindersbecause it's not a part of their
day to day life.
Um, whereas for our team here,it is something they're
personally experiencing.
And so they're really preparedand really able to be proactive
about those things.
Shelley (04:29):
So are they typically
Ashley (04:30):
moms?
They are almost all moms.
We have one dad on our teamtoday, and we're definitely
interested in bringing more,more dads on to, um, but a lot
of really awesome moms.
And we hire most people, um,part time so that they can have
flexibility in their day wherethey can still pick up their
kids from school or get to asoccer game or something like
(04:50):
that.
Love
Shelley (04:52):
it.
So yeah, so what I was leadingto, I think with the talking
about the other VAs, it's alwaysbusiness outsourcing.
So this is, this is a reallydifferent, it's just not
something I've heard before,like obviously a lot of, a lot
of people that I know and I havehad cleaners in the past,
haven't right now and I'mconfused as to why that is not
the case.
(05:12):
And that, but, but other thingslike, yeah, life ops, you call
it, which I love, life ops.
It's like how to have thatmanaged efficiently so your day
to day, your kids are in thecamps that you wanted to get
them in because that's onsomebody else's to do list at
the right time.
Cause I know like just to get mykids into swimming, um, swimming
(05:35):
lessons, it's like 6 a.
m.
You have to be on at 6 a.
m.
and you have to have the lessonsthat you want in your basket and
press go.
Otherwise, no chance, right?
So somebody else could be doingthat
Ashley (05:46):
on your behalf.
Exactly.
Or yes, it's at 6am or it's atlike 10am in the middle of your
work day and you're like, I havea big presentation, but I will
secretly be on my phone tryingto get into these lessons.
So yeah, exactly that type ofwork.
Shelley (06:02):
And something that really spoke to me, um, which
you shared quite candidly onLinkedIn some months ago leading
up to your wedding.
Um, you shared that everythingwas going great, like your
business is thriving, and yetyour body is speaking to you and
telling you that something isn'tright.
So you are obviously workingyourself to the ground.
(06:23):
Yeah.
Um, and then there was a bigreminder of the work that you're
doing, right?
And it's like, how do I, do Ilive?
The work that I'm helpingothers.
So tell us a little bit aboutthat.
Ashley (06:37):
Yeah.
I mean, I, so I came to thisproblem by realizing that it was
a problem that so many parentswere running into and not
necessarily by being an expertat delegating myself.
Um, and I think that verysimilar to many of our clients.
I, I like to do a lot of thingsat once.
So I was like starting thiscompany, it was planning a
international wedding.
(06:58):
Um, and I.
And things were going well.
So I was like, Sundays is, isworking really well.
We, um, have a lot of reallyexciting clients that we're
working with and we're startingto grow the team.
Um, and at the same time, I wasdoing a lot of stuff on the
personal front too.
And, um, and I set these kindof.
Arbitrary deadlines for myselfwhere I was like before the
(07:21):
wedding XYZ must happen.
And for months, I was like,okay, 90 days, 60 days, like 15
days.
And so I like put all of thispressure on myself to get these
things done.
And in some ways, pressure isgood because it gets done.
helps you move faster, but, um,but I wasn't doing it in a way
that was scalable.
So at the time, like every,especially on the Sunday side,
(07:43):
every single thing was runningthrough me.
Like we had 15 people on theteam, every person reported to
me, every client, um, questionor complaint got like escalated
directly to me, even if it wasreally minor.
Um, and I.
Literally just like my bodycould not handle the stress of
like every day trying to dothis, all of those things to
(08:05):
just like, keep everythingafloat.
In addition to trying to growthe business.
And I, um, ended up with not anulcer, but like almost an ulcer
where I was, I literally couldnot sleep at night.
Cause I was like having suchsevere stomach pain.
And I don't know if this hasever happened to me, another
person to you, but anotherperson on my team said this
happened to her too.
(08:25):
And it's like, Um, it was likereally severe pain.
I was like, I like, do I need togo to the hospital?
Or like, is this something thatwill like, I'll overcome.
And so I ended up going to thedoctor and she was like, do you
know what the cause of your painis?
Like, there isn't really amedical reason.
It's actually just like thestress that you're putting on
yourself that causes can causelike a bodily reaction.
(08:47):
So, um, kind of hit this pointright before, like literally the
day before we're flying to thewedding, I was like, I, Must go
to the doctor today becauseotherwise I think I'm like, not
going to be able to be presentand enjoy the wedding.
So it kind of a, a rock bottomright there.
Um, and it was a good lesson forme and, and actually learning to
(09:09):
delegate and give other peopleownership and responsibility
too.
Shelley (09:14):
And I just think it is the way of so many coaches, like
we, we teach what we need tolearn.
And I think that is a truth.
Ashley (09:26):
Yeah.
Shelley (09:26):
Uh huh.
And our passion comes from ourpain.
So you saw the pain in yourfamily from, from your mom and
you thought, I want to do this.
I want to be able to do thisright.
So you set yourself up forsuccess when you, when you start
your family.
Um, and something that just camethrough when you were saying
about the 90 days, 60 days, 30days, you come from a product
(09:48):
background.
So presumably you're used tothose products sprints.
And those preparing to launchsprints.
So you're, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you're in that mindset forlaunches.
Yeah.
How did it feel to then go,okay, maybe we're not going to
hit these milestones.
Maybe I need to give myself moregrace.
Ashley (10:06):
Yeah, I think that, um, well, I think one thing that was
interesting is like, we actuallydid hit a lot of the milestones
that I wanted to, but then I wasconstantly kind of like moving
the goalposts.
I was like, okay, we did this.
Like, what's the next big thingwe can do?
Um, And I think a lot of peoplewho are used to being in this
like, like, high achievingmindset do that a lot where
(10:28):
they're like, Okay, what's thenext big thing and you don't
stop to like celebrate theaccomplishments that you have.
And, and so.
And also when you're at thisreally early stage of starting a
company, you actually don'treally know what milestones are
realistic at all.
You're like, well, let me justthrow something out there and
hope that we get there.
Um, and so now I'm trying to be,I think it's easier since we're
(10:51):
at a later stage of the company,but trying to be a little bit
more realistic with like, I knowwhat things can get us to be
certain milestones now.
And do I even have enough timein my own day to do that?
Or do we have enough time acrossour team to be able to get to
those milestones?
That These specific points.
So, um, both just being morerealistic.
(11:11):
And then also, as you said,giving myself and the team more
grace to, um, accept when maybewe're learning something, but we
didn't, we didn't hit the exact
Shelley (11:22):
milestone we were hoping for.
So let's talk about time.
So now you had that deep, deeplearning and you started to
delegate.
I guess, how does it feel toactually be living what you've
gifted your clients, what you'vegifted the mums that then have
time back to have with theirfamilies?
(11:44):
How does it feel to have, like,sorted that out for yourself and
relinquished some control andnow you have some time, perhaps
more time for yourrelationships, for your new
marriage and all of those, allof those things that you really
wanted to be able to prioritise?
Ashley (12:03):
Yeah, it is such a relief and just like so much
more joy in my own day to day.
Um, it's definitely slow work inprogress where I'm learning what
it takes.
Um, and it, it took a lot ofwork to get to this point where
even once I realized I need tohand things more things off,
it's not an, it's not liketomorrow things are just handed
(12:24):
off.
It's.
Like you have to find, for me atleast, it was finding the right
people, building trust withthose people.
Um, luckily we already had somepeople on our team who were in
great positions for that.
Um, and then figuring out whatsystems to put in place so that
they can have the ownership thatI want them to have, but I still
have the comfort of knowingthings are going well.
Um, and so there's a lot of workthat goes into building those
(12:46):
systems too.
But now that we are a few monthsinto that, I, it's.
improve my days like a thousandpercent where I really enjoy and
look forward to like every daygetting to start work and every
day, um, hearing from the peoplewho do have those ownership,
that ownership now and howthings are going and how they're
feeling and growth in their owncareers, which is really
(13:08):
exciting.
Shelley (13:10):
Beautiful.
Um, we, we have spoken a littlebit about, um, about channels.
And I wonder if we can just goback to that, um, uh, topic that
I'm really passionate about andinterested in right now is
social wealth and how we buildsocial wealth into our, into our
lives.
(13:30):
And one of the foundationalpillars is personal expression.
So it's finding ways that wefeel able to express ourselves.
Authentically fully.
Um, yeah, I wonder, I wonder ifyou want to speak to that about
any of the ways that you foundyou feel really natural because
being a founder of a company,you don't necessarily prepare
(13:50):
yourself to be at thespokesperson at different and
like, where's your comfortlevels in terms of being that
being that the face of Sundays.
Ashley (14:00):
Yeah, um, it's really interesting.
I think when I come from aproduct background, and so I
really hadn't done any sort oflike marketing before starting
Sundays.
Um, and I, at first I was notprepared, but the more that I
got into it, the more Irealized, like, you kind of have
to be your company a little bit,at least in the beginning,
because if you don't tell peoplewhat's happening, like what
(14:23):
you're working on, no one isgoing to find it.
Um, and I think, especiallypeople who have like a product
or engineering background, a lotof us come in thinking like, I
will build this great thing andpeople will love it and they'll
buy it.
Um, that's not actually how itworks because people can't.
love it and buy it if they don'tknow that it exists.
Um, and so there's this processof helping people find, like,
find out that it exists.
(14:43):
Um, and I, what I really love, Ithink my also a mindset shift I
made was I was like afraid to dosales and marketing because it
felt like very sale y and Ithink a lot of us don't like
Being sold to, um, but areframe, I think that's been
really helpful for me isthinking of it more as, um,
(15:05):
helping people who have aproblem, find a solution to
their problem.
So I'm not trying to convincepeople that this is the, that
don't have this problem, thatthey need it.
It's mostly finding people whoalready are suffering from this
problem and trying to help themfind the right solution, whether
that's working with us orsetting their own systems or
something like that.
Um, and so.
I went through a big journey oflearning marketing.
(15:27):
At one point I literally wouldhave in my days, like a block
that said do marketing, and thenI would get there and be like,
Oh my gosh, what do I do?
And, and I started experimentingwith different ways to get the
word out.
Um, and ended up focusing onLinkedIn.
Um, basically I did these likeshort two week experiments and a
few different channels.
Um, and LinkedIn was the placewhere.
(15:49):
I could get the fastest feedbackand also, um, LinkedIn, I really
like because you start with anetwork of people who already
know you personally and thatyou've spent years probably
developing relationships withand, um, whether they're a
customer or not they'regenerally supportive of you, um,
Doing this work.
I hope, I think maybe you foundthis as well, where people are
(16:09):
just like, wow, that's reallycool that someone I've known for
years is like going out on theirown.
Um, and so, yeah, what I, andLinkedIn has been a journey.
I started just like, I'm goingto post every day for two weeks
and see what happens.
Um, And got really positivefeedback just in that quick, uh,
quick experiment.
And then now, um, it is our, byfar our main marketing channel
(16:32):
for Sundays.
So, um, I post, I try to postevery weekday and then I don't
look at it.
I don't look at it at all on theweekends.
And, um, And then have developedkind of a marketing strategy
around, um, the types of thingsthat I post, but also I
personally write every singlething that is that we put out
(16:53):
there and, um, take a lot ofpride in making sure that it.
Feels like it's coming from mepersonally.
And that has led to connect.
I think I was telling you beforewe started recording that, um,
it's, it is blown me away howmany amazing people I've been
able to connect with throughLinkedIn and build, um, what at
this point feel like long termrelationships with people that I
(17:15):
just met on the internet, whichI had never had an experience
with before.
Shelley (17:20):
Beautiful.
And yeah, I have a note on myfridge, no email or LinkedIn at
the weekends.
So I'm the same as you andthat's it.
We have to play with these, notonly these kinds of tests for
different social platforms, butboundaries.
on ourselves because as businessowners, it can be all consuming
and like the tendency, thetemptation to just check your
(17:43):
phone and just this and justthat.
But, uh, yeah, like you, I knowthat I need that decompression
over the weekend, particularly.
Um, I do sometimes try and do itfrom say four o'clock in the
morning.
weekdays as well.
So I can be really present withmy kids once they're home from
school.
Um, and just, yeah, testing andfeeling into what actually makes
(18:04):
us feel healthy and recharge,recharge.
So the next day when we, we'reready to start again, we're
actually ready to start againbecause we have had that
conscious pause.
Ashley (18:16):
Yeah.
I think it makes so muchdifference.
I actually have this, I havethis sticky note that says end
the day on my, um, desk andthat's something I've been
working on.
And I think I've gotten betterat is just like on a, um, day to
day basis of like, actually likethe, the to do list is never
ending.
It will always be theretomorrow.
Um, but giving myself the timeback on a daily basis to really.
(18:40):
Reset and be able to come thenext day with energy.
Cause I think for a while Iwould work, I would just keep
working all night.
And sometimes maybe there's abig project where you need to
push through for that, but, um,you don't need to do that every
day.
And being able to actually, Ithink energy is our most
valuable resource.
So, um, figuring out what ittakes to.
(19:00):
recharge and be able to startEnergized is really valuable.
Shelley (19:06):
And just thinking about the topic of time, like what
kind of feedback are you gettingfrom clients?
Like how, because this is such anew service, what are your
clients saying?
Ashley (19:18):
I think that the biggest thing that we help people do is,
is reduce their mental loadwhere they can just like give
something to us, and we can takeit and run with it and they're
like okay.
Shelby has this handled now, uh,and that's really valuable.
And also, I think people whowork best with us kind of loop
us in really regularly to theirday to day so they'll send us
(19:39):
like a text message on a dailybasis.
The like just kind of forwardthings to us throughout the day
and then we set up times tocheck in with them and be like
okay tell it let's talk throughlike, is this a priority.
Um, one thing last week, I wasreally excited.
Um, one of our clients started anew executive role.
And one of, one of my big goalsis to help get more moms into
(20:00):
leadership roles, because Ithink that's how we can reshape
how, how we work.
Society overall thinks aboutbalancing family and work.
Um, so we had a client who hasbeen prepping to start this new
leadership role for a couple ofmonths and working with the
person on our team.
Um, and she has three kids, theylive in Manhattan.
Each of the kids does like threeactivities every week.
And so, um, normally the mom islike super involved in planning
(20:24):
that and has that kind ofrunning in the back of her mind
every day.
And she called us last week inher first week of work and said,
I haven't had to think about thekids at all.
Like I'm so confident that youhave it handled for me that I
feel really good and reallyconfident in my first week of
work, which I thought was reallyfun.
Shelley (20:41):
Amazing.
So, um, yeah, I guess what,what's, what's next for you?
Like, what's your, what's thenext big thing that, um, that is
really gonna help you to thrivepersonally or professionally?
Um, knowing all what you havelearned up till now, is there
something that That you'restriving for.
Ashley (21:04):
Yeah.
Um, that is a good question.
I I'm expecting my first inearly next year.
And so a lot of what I'mthinking about now on the
personal side is like how to usemore of these systems that I've
been learning from all of theseother amazing parents.
And we've been building for theparents we work with in my own
life.
It's it's just so interesting tosee all of the components
(21:24):
already that, um, I'm thinkingabout differently than I was
before.
Um, so.
Yeah, trying to figure out theright systems for our family
going forward, which has beenreally fun.
Something I did at the beginningof, um, This delegation period
I've been in was I did thisthing called a time and energy
(21:45):
audit and basically for a coupleof days I tracked what I would
do what I was doing every 15minutes and I would just like
write a list of it and then atthe end, um, wrote like How does
this affect my energy?
Like, does it give me energy ordoes it take away energy?
And then, um, how valuable isthis in terms of like, how
important is this, um, either tothe company or to my personal
(22:06):
life?
And, um, that kind of gives youthese quadrants where you end up
with like things that areimportant for you to do, things
that are important, but somebodyelse can help you with, um, and
then things that maybe you canjust.
Um, and so I think that was areally interesting check in for
me personally of like what,whether my time was aligned with
(22:30):
what I wanted to be doing.
Um, and I hope to continue doingthat on like a quarterly basis
or something to figure out asbusiness and family evolves,
which areas I want to lean intoand lean out of more.
Shelley (22:45):
Yeah.
I love that time and energyaudit.
I Um, I have something similarlike a joy o meter and we'll do
it for spending time with peopleand it's like some people are
very time poor and it's likewell what about if you just go
around for a 30 minute coffeelike would that be a worthwhile
commute and time with each otheror are you better off saving
(23:08):
that time in the time bank andthen catching up for a couple of
hours and having a more deepdive interaction.
Jen.
Jen.
And then with my kids, I do itwith money, like they get, um,
they get money for when theyread books.
They'll get a dollar.
So encouraging them to read.
And then when they go to spendthe money, it's like, okay,
let's think about how much joyyou're going to get out of that
(23:28):
thing.
Like they just bought thislittle motorbike thing and it's
like, not, not, wasn't veryexpensive, but like thinking,
are you going to get the valueout of that in comparison to
these other things?
And yeah, I love that.
The idea of, um, reallyanalyzing that and make more
intentional choices of our timeand, um, and investment as well.
(23:50):
Really like that.
Um, yeah.
Thinking on that, is there, isthere another tool that you
could share with busy moms outthere that are really struggling
to do it all, that could, theycould think about either
outsourcing something or doingsomething a different way, um,
to help relieve that timepressure?
Ashley (24:11):
Yeah, that's a great question.
Um, I think that.
Other things that I've seen, Ithink it's just like building
systems that work for yourfamily.
Um, so one thing in particular,and we do this a few ways, but,
um, like meal planning is one ofthose things that is constantly,
um, on parents minds as, as theylive their lives and eat and try
(24:35):
to get their kids to eat too.
Um, and so I think figuring outa meal planning system that
works for your family, that is.
Fast is something that's reallyvaluable.
So we, some families we workwith will have very particular
meal planning needs and we willlike do spreadsheets with them
where we're like, okay, are wegetting all of the macros that
you want it or something likethat?
Um, but then for most families,I think there are a lot of,
(24:57):
there's like great apps outthere that can actually do a lot
of the meal planning for you,where you upload your own
recipes and you build a plan forthe week.
Order groceries and, um, thosecan be really, those can really
save a lot of time.
So we use an app called maple,um, pretty frequently for that.
Um, there are others that mighthave different needs, but I
think figuring out even like onesmall system that works for your
(25:19):
family can be really, reallyhelpful.
Um, other things we're trying todo are build out like.
Um, guides or checklists wherewe think of like everything you
might need to think of.
So we have one that we built forHalloween, where we were like,
here are all the things that gointo making sure your family is
ready for Halloween.
And it's like, it's brainstormcostumes, think about like face
(25:42):
paint.
Um, but also like make sure thatyou check the weather and you
have a backup outfit in case,um, in case it ends up not
being, not being good weather orlike look for routes.
Um, so those are things where.
We're trying to identifyeverything that you need to do
so you don't have to think aboutit.
I think it's like that freethinking actually takes a lot of
energy.
A lot of times, like actuallyexecuting the tasks is not as
(26:05):
time intensive as, um, asremembering all these things you
need to do.
So, um, for us, we thinkbuilding out these systems of,
of processes you do every timeyou run into the holidays or
every time you run into summercamp planning can save a lot of
time.
Shelley (26:21):
So good.
So good.
And we did get into a habit of,um, family meetings when we
lived at the eco village.
So there they would do it everyFriday was like a heart circle.
So we got into the habit ofdoing that.
I think weekly became a bit.
too regular for such a formalmeeting, um, with the family.
(26:44):
So we still have like breakfaston a Sunday and we'll kind of
have a bit of a, um, uh, routinewhen that happens.
Um, but yeah, otherwise, whenyou were talking about the meal
planning, like our system in ourhouse, which has just evolved
naturally, I always do thegrocery shopping and then my
partner will like see what Ibought and then he'll do a meal
(27:04):
plan based on what is there.
So kind of the other way aroundto the apps of like going to buy
things, but that seems to workfor us.
Um, yeah, he's the, he's the keychef in our house.
I'm the commis chef.
So.
Ashley (27:18):
I love it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that makes a lot ofsense.
And people, sometimes it's justlike some people just have like
a whiteboard that they use, buthaving that system that works
makes sense.
And I love the weekly meeting aswell.
Um, We right now we don't do asmuch of the like coaching on
changing your behavior, althoughthat is a big shift that we see
most successful families do.
(27:39):
Um, and I think the, the weeklymeeting is really interesting.
I have done that with mypartner.
On occasion, but we struggled todo it on the weekend because we
were like, we really just wantto be relaxed for the weekend.
Um, but then sometimes the weekfeels super busy to get it in.
So, um, but a lot of familiesthat I know, and also a lot of
families who are able tosuccessfully outsource do this
(28:01):
kind of planning betweenthemselves.
So they know what theirpriorities are and they can
identify things that are not asgood of a use of their time.
Shelley (28:09):
Yeah, I just, one thing that's coming up, when we did
have one of those weeklymeetings, when we moved, um,
back to Langford, uh, the schoolthat my daughter goes to, they
don't allow Pokémon in theschool, like, there's just no,
nothing against Pokémon, theyjust don't allow toys.
Got it.
And my daughter, they used to,they used to trade Pokémon cards
at her old school, so she waslike, really sad that she didn't
(28:30):
get a chance to like, use thisbig collection of cards.
So we were like, okay, let'slaunch a Pokemon club.
But that came up in one of thosefamily meetings.
It's like, is there anythingthat's, anything that's come up
for you that you just want tolike share with us and like a
really kind kind of invitationto share?
So those kinds of things come tothe surface then it's like, it's
giving the space, giving theinvitation to share, um, can be
(28:53):
really revealing.
Ashley (28:55):
Yeah.
Super interesting.
And how do you involve the kidsin the meeting usually?
Shelley (28:59):
Um, yeah, so we, so we all sit in a four and we use
something as a talking stick.
So, and this came from the ecovillage, so we would take turns
and we would say, maybe we'dstart by saying something we're
grateful for to kind of just getthe flow of conversation moving
around.
And then we'll say, is thereanything coming up for you?
Anything that, that happenedthat was great this week or
(29:21):
anything that wasn't so great oranything that you just want to
share.
And then we'll just take turnstalking and just see what kind
of naturally comes.
I love it.
That's really great.
Is there anything that youhaven't shared today that you
think I can't leave thisconversation before sharing this
with whoever might choose tolisten to this conversation?
Ashley (29:44):
I think that what we've been talking about is just like
the value of, of time and, andenergy.
And I think that, um, what I'veseen from a lot of the most
successful families I've workedwith are that they.
give themselves permission tovalue their own time, um, and,
and yeah, pay for time back ifthat's what is needed, um, or
(30:10):
figure out a system betweenthemselves where they get some
time back, um, for personal timeand for family time, um, and I
think just, It's okay to valueyour own time and to, um, and to
use that to do whateverconnection you need.
So, um, if anybody is lookingfor a little bit of permission,
(30:33):
please take permission from me.
Um, and even if it's just toexperiment with that and see
how, um, how it works for youand how you might want to evolve
it over time, I think that, um,it's.
It's so valuable.
Shelley (30:47):
Well said, well said.
And I guess on this, in the samebreath, like what I'm doing is
helping people to reconnect withfriends, with Connections that
maybe were a big part of theirpast and with technology, what
it is today, there's really noreason why they can't be a part
of our current present, ifindeed there is that alignment,
(31:09):
maybe you're at the same stage,maybe you're both having
children at the same time andyou haven't been connected for a
while.
So I'm helping people to findways to reconnect and really
rekindle some of those reallynourishing.
Um, relationships in theirlives, but time again is a big
reason why that comes up againand again, why we're not doing
this, especially if we're, youknow, high achieving business
(31:32):
people.
And we've invested so much inthe business and financial
wealth.
Unfortunately, that, that comesas sometimes neglecting our
social wealth and our socialwell being.
So having some of that time backto reinvest into the
relationships that matter canreally serve our present and our
(31:53):
future selves.
Ashley (31:55):
I love Ashley, it's so important.
Shelley (31:56):
It's all linked in.
Well, it was so beautifulgetting to know you a bit more,
Ashley, and I wish you everysuccess.
I'm excited for this.
I'm excited to share this withso many busy moms and dads that
I know that could benefit fromhaving this kind of service.
So yeah, really excited to seewhat, to see where your journey,
where your journey goes.
Congratulations.
Ashley (32:18):
so much, Shelly.
And I really appreciate youhaving me, um, I think these
conversations are so valuable.
So recommend listening to allthe rest of them too.
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