In this episode, we explore the idea of “shifting your lens” — a powerful metaphor grounded in science that helps parents understand how their interpretation of a situation shapes their emotional response. Drawing on the work of psychologist James Gross and his research on cognitive reappraisal, we break down how the lens you’re wearing (like blame, control, or shame) can fuel conflict and dysregulation, especially in moments of parenting stress.
You’ll learn how to identify the lens you’re in, how to shift your lens to something more helpful (like curiosity or compassion), and how this shift not only supports your own regulation but also helps you model emotional intelligence for your child. Real-life parenting examples, practical tips, and reflection prompts will help you bring this tool into everyday moments even when things get messy.
Read our blog post here:
https://curiousneuron.com/2025/08/03/how-to-shift-your-lens-and-stay-calm-in-parenting-conflicts/
Read a science article:
For Whom and What Does Cognitive Reappraisal Help? A Prospective
Study
Watch it on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/TOURlBqtmIc
Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast
Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:
https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone
Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions
Email: info@curiousneuron.com
📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group
🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!