Our true character doesn’t lie in not getting mad or upset or angry or jealous or disappointed – or feeling any of that negative energy. Our true character lies in how quickly we can shake that feeling off and refocus on what we need to do now.
Like many of you, I’ve always been one to hold myself to a really high standard – whether it’s in my career or being a mom or a wife or a daughter or hosting a holiday or working out – and when it comes to being zen or grateful or positive, it's the same thing. It's in the title: it’s Jen IS Zen, not Jen is sometimes Zen or Jen is Zen.. more than she’s not.
But sometimes we confuse being zen with being unaffected. But that’s not peace—that’s emotional suppression. That’s a performance, and it’s exhausting.
Your true power isn’t in pretending you don’t feel the hard things. It’s in how you tend to yourself when you do. It’s in how quickly you notice the spiral and decide to reroute.
So maybe the next time this happens to you, maybe instead of focusing on the spiral. Maybe you focus on the return.
Please help me with my Matrenaissance Identity Theory of Communication research by completing a completely anonymous survey at https://forms.gle/WunxbwZ7L1MmvWEF6
This research has been approved by the UNCW Institutional Review Board.
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