May 1, 2025 • 30 mins
What happens when we finally give ourselves permission to explore the parts of ourselves we've been taught to hide? This episode takes us on a journey through vulnerability, creative expression, and the liberation that comes from embracing our full selves.
Our guest shares her path from writing teen romance fiction to creating educational content about sexuality. Her novel "These Perfectly Careless Things" follows a 15-year-old artist in London, capturing intimate feminine experiences often absent from literature. Meanwhile, her "Miseducated" podcast and blog have evolved from sharing birth control stories to interviewing femtech innovators solving problems around menopause, breast pumps, and sexual wellness.
The conversation takes a fascinating turn as she recounts hosting a naked party during university years—a surprisingly wholesome experience where friends painted landscapes on each other's bodies.
Most compelling is her mission "to help the world be shamelessly sexy" through three components: helping people identify what they want sexually, believe they deserve it, and learn to ask for it. Her upcoming projects—a sex journaling toolkit, anonymous surveys about sexual practices, and consulting work—all connect to this core purpose.
Despite her prestigious Wharton education that could have led to a lucrative corporate career, she chose a path that feels alive and meaningful. "Don't go to your grave with your stories inside of you," she advises listeners. This episode invites us all to consider what parts of ourselves we might be suppressing, and what could happen if we brought our full, authentic selves into every aspect of our lives.
About Tash Doherty
I'm the author of a spicy, coming-of-age novel, These Perfectly Careless Things, and the Substack, Misseducated, where I'm on a mission to help the world be shamelessly sexy.
natashardoherty@gmail.com
https://misseducated.substack.com/
These Perfectly Careless Things Book
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Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The co-hosts of this podcast are not medical professionals. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. Reliance on any information provided by the podcast hosts or guests is solely at your own risk.
Pamela Cass is a licensed broker with Kentwood Real Estate
Natalie Davis is a licensed broker with Keller Williams Realty Downtown, LLC
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Before we begin today's episode, we just wanna
take a few moments to advise youthat today's episode does
discuss sensitive topics andlistener discretion is advised.
If at any point, you need topause or step away, please
prioritize your wellbeing.
Today we're exploring thesecomplex themes with care and
respect because we understandthat having an open and informed
(00:22):
conversation can foster healingand understanding.
Our goal is to create a safespace for dialogue free from
judgment.
We hope you enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
All of us reach a point in time where we are
depleted and need to somehowfind a way to reignite the fire
within.
But how do we spark that flame?
And need to somehow find a wayto reignite the fire within, but
how do we spark that flame?
Welcome to Reignite Resilience,where we will venture into the
heart of the human spirit.
We'll discuss the art ofreigniting our passion and
(00:58):
strategies to stoke ourenthusiasm.
And now here are your hosts,Natalie Davis and Pamela Cass.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Talk to us about the book, because you've gone
through the work and theseperfectly careless things,
Congratulations by the way, yes.
Talk to us a little bit aboutthe novel.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Yeah, yes.
Well, the novel is set inLondon, as I was telling you
earlier, and it follows thestory of Abby Chesterton.
That she's 15 years old and shewants to become an artist, but
she's from a very like stuffyand stuck-up English family.
So basically she's also part ofthis very cool, the cool crowd
you know in these teenagers inLondon and she goes to a house
(01:44):
party and she meets a very likekind of enigmatic and like
philosophical guy called JonahWood, and Jonah is the person
who inspires her to pursue hercreative goals.
She applies to transfer to hisschool because you know he's got
a very good art program at hisschool.
So basically it's their lovestory going around London and
(02:05):
all of that.
You get to see all the ways thatshe develops as a character in
terms of her artistic ability,but also you're with her in her
most intimate moments.
So again, I have not shied awayfrom any of the female
experience in this book, so youwill get.
You know periods and first timeand you know all those kinds of
really, really intimate momentsand also taking a pregnancy
test in the starbucks bathroom.
(02:26):
So you get to see thischaracter through all her most
intimate aspects of her life and, yeah, you have to keep reading
towards the end to see whathappens with their relationship.
Do they end up together or doesshe?
Do they go separate ways?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
so, yes, love that is this part one of part two or a
trilogy, or are there more Well?
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I'm now also working on a second book.
It is a summer love story setin California, and I have gone
back and forth about whetherthis is part of the series or
what, but I've settled on thefact that the characters are
actually going to be connected.
So the same exact set ofcharacters, but one of Abby's
friends will be the maincharacter of the second novel.
(03:06):
So you kind of have a bit of asense of continuity for the
people who know.
But then the people who don'tknow can just pick up the second
novel and read it as astandalone as well.
So it's beautiful and it'scentered on the going to this
lake in California, you knowwhere there's no internet and
you're just.
It's just beautiful pine treesetc.
So it's focused on their lovestory.
And then they have thisbeautiful whirlwind romance for
(03:27):
the first half of the book andthen in the second half of the
book you get to see whether,five years later, if a summer
romance can still last, andbasically I try to answer the
question is love enough?
So that's book number twocongratulations.
I see like mini series moviesyeah, it's honestly really fun
(03:48):
and I I write like a lot ofother non-fiction posts on my
blog around sexuality or my lifeor whatever, but writing this
kind of fiction is just likeit's beautiful and it's easy for
me and I really enjoy doing it.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
So, yeah, so this was what you were writing when you
were 14, so stories like this,yes, well, the, that was the
main, the main book that'salready been published at this
point.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
So so this was what you were writing when you were
14.
So stories like this yes, well,that was the main book that's
already been published at thispoint.
So now I but I've now beenharboring these new ideas for
books for a couple of years, andthen, by the time you've had a
book idea for three years, youjust think, gosh, better sit
down and write the thing.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
It's time to go.
Yeah, do you know, by chance,how many books are within?
Speaker 4 (04:29):
you have, you done that work, oh my god.
Well, I know at least like threemore okay kind of challenging,
because then you're like it's,it takes a lot of time and
effort to write a book, whereasI could pump out an article, you
know, in five hours and it's onthe internet.
People could read it and engagewith it.
So it's not just you know, it'sa real like labor of love, I
think.
But I'm hoping to get it done,hopefully sometime this year,
(04:49):
but we'll see.
We'll see when it comes out, soyeah, Love that.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Tell us a little bit about your podcast.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Yeah, so the podcast is called Miseducated and it's
also the blog, so I write onthat every week and these days
I'm doing like voiceovers aswell.
So a lot of the podcastepisodes are like you can just
listen along to an article thatI've written.
But it started out about six,seven years ago and I started
with birth control stories.
So I shared my own birthcontrol story and how I found
(05:17):
like the hormonal IUD, which isthe one that works for me, and I
interviewed a lot of differentwomen and then, as I developed
that brand, I wanted tointerviewed a lot of different
women and then, as I developedthat brand, I wanted to
interview a lot of women whowere in femtech, so like women's
health tech companies.
So you know, they're solvingproblems around like menopause
or, like you know, breast pumpsor whatever it is, or like
sexual wellness toys.
So I continue to build thosestories and now it's basically
(05:41):
anyone who kind of like catchesmy eye who I want to like really
get to know.
My favorite person ever that Iinterviewed was Dr Kristen Neff,
who is the world leading experton self-compassion, based out
of UT Austin.
So she's she's like a big dog,you know, in the world.
So I was really grateful tointerview her like about a year
and a half ago now.
But yeah, I basically justmostly focus on the audio aspect
(06:04):
of my articles so people canengage by listening.
You know, with audio ratherthan reading if they prefer to
listen instead of read.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
So there you go beautiful and that's what you
bring over to your sub stack.
Is that correct?
Like that's where you houseeverything.
Okay, it's all there.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Yes, and the mission these days I updated the mission
recently is to help the worldbe shamelessly sexy.
So I focus a lot on helpingpeople figure out what they want
in terms of their sexuality,like what, what they, you know,
desire, believing that theydeserve what they want, and then
also asking for what they want.
So those are the threecomponents of what a shamelessly
sexy life includes.
(06:39):
So I'm currently building thoseteaching methodologies and my
last piece that I just wrotelast week was called how to keep
a sex journal.
So it's specifically focusingon journaling about you know,
reflecting on all of yourprevious like intimate
experiences and what you learnedfrom them both what you liked
and what you didn't like and I'mhoping that that's a whole
product line that I will be ableto like, also sell and launch
(06:59):
at that at some point, so peoplecan buy my like miseducated sex
journal.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I love that because I think it's one of those things
that it's been so taboo,especially in the United States,
to talk about that and it'sjust kind of one of those things
it's like, well, we just don'ttalk about that.
So I love the idea ofjournaling about.
You know, what do I like, whatdo I not like?
Because if you can share thatwith somebody you're intimate
with, it's going to be such abetter experience for everybody.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Yeah, totally, not just with your partner, but also
for yourself, for yourself,yeah, yeah.
And what's so interesting aboutit is I love writing, right, so
it's a treat for me to be ableto teach other people some of
the beauty of writing, but it'ssuch a personal and private
thing to do.
But my favorite aspect of likeexploring my sexuality, though,
is the idea that a lot ofsexuality is kind of your
inverted self, you know.
(07:46):
So I'm a very like independent,like you know, feminist out
there, woman, blah, blah, blah,but then in the bedroom, I'm
like preferring to be like a sub, you know, or like lose control
, or like have someone tell mewhat to do.
So it's like, and then I'm like, how can I even call myself a
feminist if, like, this is who Iam in the bedroom and this is
who I am?
It in contrast with my reallife, you know.
So I basically just hope toprovide the tools that help
(08:09):
people feel more comfortablewith those different aspects of
our like more deviant natures,you know.
But I think it's a reallybeautiful topic and just
something that I'm reallyexcited to share with the world.
So I want to continue to buildthat whole sex journaling tool
set for people.
Awesome, love that.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
How did you find yourself on this path?
Because I guess growing up inLondon not so much, but you
think, if I think like growingup in England very conservative,
very reserved, not a lot ofroom for expression, london may
be the one city in the UK that'skind of like OK, except here.
How did you find yourself onthis journey?
Speaker 4 (08:50):
how did you find yourself on this journey?
Yeah, well, I think moving toAmerica was a really big part of
it, actually, because Americansare so much louder and take up
space and they eat triple cheesehamburgers and you know, moving
to America really helped me toembrace those parts of myself
that had been kind of likesuppressed in English culture.
But you make a really goodpoint because you know, I have
all these.
Having all these these thoughts, I felt really alone as well
(09:11):
during a lot of my experiences,like getting birth control for
the first time, and I justthought, god, I don't know if I
want to live in a culture whereI can't talk about these things.
And I think things have evolveda little bit.
Like talking about periods ismuch more common these days, but
there's still a lot of liketaboos around these issues.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Barely Kind of.
I mean that's stretched in somespaces, but yes, we are making
progress there.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Yes, a little bit, a little bit.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
I think honestly it's about also kind of giving the
finger to the system in a weirdway, Because ultimately I think
women especially in my family,you know, as of three
generations ago didn't go touniversity or maybe never had
the ability to say the thingsthat you know they wanted to say
.
So I feel a lot of like I guessI don't know honor and
privilege to be able to, numberone, have the education that I
(09:56):
have and, again, the access toresources where I can fund my
own lifestyle you know, doingconsulting projects for remote
companies or whatever but thenuse my voice to, I don't know
help other women feel more seenor explore parts of themselves
that are like more fun anyway.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I love that.
I love that.
Well, that's as you talk about,like three generations.
That's such an.
Again it pulls up for me my momnot with us currently and she's
passed, but I just rememberwhen I was a young girl very
reserved household, very strongreligious upbringing and I
remember her like it was notallowed to wear red nail polish
(10:34):
or red lipstick.
Okay, so we're let's take itvery basic, because those were
the things that only a Jezebelwould wear.
And those were the exact words,and so here I am like 10 years
old and I'm like I can't wearred nail polish because I'm not
a Jezebel Like who says that Wow.
So like when you would likecreating this space, as you talk
(10:56):
about, like where we can justfreely discuss the things that
we naturally go through andexperience and want to
experience in life?
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Yeah, and I'm writing about that, for example, I
think, reflecting on, like thered lipstick and red nail polish
situation so interesting, right, like there's a lot that you
could explore there for yourself.
Just be like, hey, what do Iactually think about this Do now
, when I see, you know, michelleObama wearing like red nail
polish, am I judging the heckout of her or not?
Like it's kind of interesting.
I think, in that sense, to tobe able to explore those topics.
(11:27):
But yeah, I mean, my mom hasn'tread my book and I don't know
if she ever will.
But my grandma is actuallyreally, really open-minded and I
talk to my grandma about thesethings all the time.
So that's great because she'slike 87 and again, you know who,
not who knows how much longershe'll be around, as much as I
love her.
So I do really enjoy talkingabout these topics with my
grandma a lot yeah, well, and Ilove that you I mean like
(11:50):
menopause.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
I mean just just now they're starting to talk more
about it.
It's just been like one ofthose things that you just don't
talk about, that.
And I was at dinner with two ofmy girlfriends and that's what
we talked about the whole day.
I was like, oh my gosh, I'm inthat space in my life where this
is what we talk about.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
You know, we're not talking.
Not talking about boys anymore.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
We're talking about menopause and like, oh yeah, you
got to use this cream and hereI'll give you this lady's name.
And I was like, oh, this ishilarious.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Yeah, and I think, amongst female friends, like,
we're definitely able to havemore of those conversations now,
which is super important.
And yeah, I think, basically Idon't expect everyone to be able
to like write openly abouttheir sex life on the Internet
like I have, but what I'm goingto hopefully do as well is have
(12:37):
more like anonymous surveys andpolls and stuff that people can
contribute to so you can stillsay like, oh, these are my
experiences, like I masturbatelike three times a week or
whatever.
But then you can see over thehundred people or whatever that
we surveyed, like what everyoneelse is doing with their
masturbation techniques, that wesurveyed, like what everyone
else is doing with theirmasturbation techniques.
So that's a whole report thatI'm going to start, you know,
hopefully at some point laterthis year.
So I'm excited to kind offigure out because that's also
(12:57):
bringing in my data mind and myWharton background, analyzing
stuff from a statisticalperspective and making it fun
with like emojis and stuff likeI already have idea and for the
graphs and things that I want tocreate.
So I'm just trying to, you know, continue the projects that I'm
excited about.
It's going to be, hopefully, agood year, yeah and make it more
acceptable to talk about.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Right, you know, I mean it's we've been.
America is very prude, like weare very like we just don't talk
about it, and I think that'swhat's unique about Europe is
it's way more open over therethan it is here.
So I love that you're bringingit.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Well, hopefully people will be more likely to
share like a statistic at dinner, you know they can be like.
Oh yeah, you know 50% of womenare really like this thing in
the bedroom.
Don't know where that came from.
I'll keep programmed, you know.
I think that makes things moreapproachable too.
Oh, I think that's moreapproachable too.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Oh, I think that's like you just slip a note to the
guy you're dating, just so youknow 85% of women like this in
the bedroom.
I'm just saying, it's juststatistics.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Statistically speaking, you should probably.
Statistically speaking, maybewe should explore that a little
bit.
I love that there was a substack that you shared that I'm
intrigued on and I just, I'mjust curious and I would love to
have you share it with ourlisteners.
I think recently I don't knowthe timeframe you hosted a nude
(14:21):
party or a naked party.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Yes, this is my most, one of my most popular articles
.
So this was actually inuniversity, in college, and I
had heard this was.
I hosted it in like 2016, 2017,I think.
So it's been a while now.
But I had heard that the kidsabove me, you know, in older
grades, were the craziest,wildest college people ever.
And I just thought, well, youknow, we're still crazy today.
(14:45):
We should do something crazy, sowe, so I decided to host the
naked party with my housemate atthe time, and world of word
obviously like spread around thecampus, like very yeah, I don't
know why I will say it's calledhow to host the naked body, but
in that article I go through acouple of different like
clothing optional experiencesthat I've had and one of them is
(15:07):
called the naked bike ride inPhiladelphia which happens every
September.
Highly recommend because you goon this beautiful tour of all
these historic sites inPhiladelphia and it's clothing
optional so you see people'sbodies, all shapes, sizes,
backgrounds, whatever you knowlike.
It's really a self acceptingkind of really I feel like
empowering experience and Iremember specifically when I
(15:29):
hosted this naked party at myhouse that basically the first
people to arrive were like acouple of my other female
friends and we had body paint sowe were painting like rivers
and like mountains all over eachother and it was like so
wholesome.
Yeah, one of the main tips thatI have is that a lot of these
(15:49):
kind of like know play partyspaces or whatever are often
founded by men and a lot, unlessyou have like a critical mass
of females- you're never goingto feel comfortable as a female
in one of those spaces, you know.
So I think that it was like meand my housemate hosting it at
the time.
It went really well.
I had a really fun time andobviously I had to be butt naked
because, like as the host, Icouldn't be you know, can't be
(16:11):
fully clothed yeah it was.
It was really beautiful, though,and I will just add like one
detail that is really funny isthat humans are we're so good at
mirroring other people, right?
So if you walk into a room andthere's a hundred naked people
and you're the only one wearingclothes, you just will
immediately feel souncomfortable that you'll just
like you don't want to be, right, the odd person in a huge group
(16:36):
of people.
So, again, you reach thatcritical mass of naked people
ideally with a lot of females inthere as well and then, as a
new person joins, they're goingto feel like oh my God, I need
to take off my clothesimmediately, because otherwise
I'm going to be the odd man out.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, I love that, and your guests?
I'm assuming that they had agreat experience as well.
I hope so, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
I should ask my friend yeah, you know, it's like
it was a really fun thing to beable to do, but I just been
painting the mountains and thelike.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
The whole female experience part at the beginning
was just like, wow, we're doingsomething cooler than I had
expected at the time absolutelywell, I've always been intrigued
by like body painting partiesor in places where you do body
paint, or festivals I guessthere's a lot of festivals where
you do just body paint only.
So, bringing that into your ownpart it's, and you're creating
(17:26):
a safe space.
Right, it's bringinglike-minded individuals together
in a safe space.
Nothing sexual that's takingplace, right, it's just truly
come, gathering of friends andlike-minded individuals to just
enjoy one another and enjoy oneanother's company, just yeah.
Closing optional.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
I haven't written about this yet, but I
accidentally just took part in amassive nude photo shoot, which
is an accident.
So my friends in Mexico Cityare incredible artists,
musicians and everything, and myfriend Gigi invited me to this
incredible old school like kindof a conference-y.
It's basically an abandonedhouse that they've turned into
like an art exhibition space,and so when I got all the way
(18:08):
there, they like made us, theyput us in this room and they
were like okay, you're going tolight this person this way.
And then they're like okay,like, go take off your clothes.
And I was like what?
I didn't realize this.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
We didn't mention this.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
Yes, but the photographer is called Rob
Woodcocks and he specificallyfocuses on beautiful, like you
know, dancers and ballet dancers.
But everyone's like wearingnude tones or they're just full
on butt naked, and so, yes, Ihope to share some of those
images eventually, because it'sreally really beautiful and we
had all different kinds of womenit was only women in those
events, but this is one buteventually, later in the day, I
(18:45):
would lay upside down on thestaircase like butt naked again
for like a good half an hour andI was so uncomfortable the
whole time.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
But those images totally worth it like yes, yes,
because you have to hold ituntil we capture the shot, so
don't move yes, anyway, shoutout to Rob Woodcocks and all my
amazing creative designermusicians, office friends in
Mexico City.
I'm super grateful to have mycommunity here yeah, what a
great experience to just happenoh my gosh like that was not
(19:12):
something that you planned yeah,and I'm planning on like buying
.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
There's a bunch of them that I'm in, like I know
which ones of the images thatI'm in, so I'm planning on
getting like full blown up printversions of them and like
framing them in my house, inyour house, yeah, but I already
have a lot of art on my wall, soI don't know where, I don't
know you'll find a space.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I was gonna say make room.
These are what.
This is one of the things thatyou make room right, because it
becomes a conversation piece forvisitors that come over as well
.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yeah, good for you.
I love that.
I love that well for our gueststhat are interested in that
space, because that's I mean youhappen upon it, you obviously
are comfortable in that space.
But talk to us a little bitabout, like, the environment,
the conversation, kind of theemotions for folks when entering
into a space like that, becauseI think that's a, I think it's
(19:59):
a big task just for thelifestyle that many of us have
grown up with, if we've not beenexposed to that.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Yeah, totally.
I think, again, it depends onwho is hosting these things.
So I've also gone to more playparties, sex parties in New York
through a group called NSFW,which again I think is a really
amazing space where you canexplore with your partner and
everything.
But sometimes even in thoserooms, right, it's like, unless
you get that critical mass offemales, as a female, I'm not
going to feel comfortable inthat experience.
(20:26):
So it's really important tojust continue to go back to that
and make sure that you're it'sbeing hosted by people that you
trust and, again, you don't haveto do anything that you don't
want to do.
But I also find, like you know,kind of like festivals, some
like there's some, you know,folk festivals that I've been to
in the woods, you know you canfind pockets of these more like
(20:46):
hippie people when you want to.
And I even um in northernCalifornia in like the Russian
River I think I went campingwith my friends there and like
people there are, just, like youknow, out and about with no
clothes on no big deal.
Also, climate is aconsideration, I would
definitely say so like make sureyou're in somewhere that's warm
, somewhere that's nice.
And another really beautifuldocumentary which I think.
(21:06):
I think it's called like stonewhat are they called?
Smoke Sauna, sisterhood Reallyreally beautiful.
Documentary about women inestonia who, again, clothing
optional or like no clothes insaunas is a really big thing, um
, in scandinavia.
But I really really recommendthose kinds of like really
beautiful experiences with otherwomen.
And, yeah, saunas, I think, areanother area which I really
(21:29):
really enjoy, just because ofthe physicality of it and I feel
, I don't know, you just feelreally rejuvenated afterwards.
So, yeah, maybe try and findyour local sauna where there's
like clothing optional orwomen's only days as well.
Banyas, those kinds of thingsI'm a big fan of, like bathing
in a variety of different waysand environments yeah, kind of
go from there.
So, yeah, but just stay safeand only be with people that you
(21:53):
want to be with.
I would say, yeah, beautiful.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Well, I love that you continue to bring these
experiences to either your blogsor the podcast, and maybe books
in the future.
So that's exciting.
Yes, and any other how-tos thatyou're going to share on your
Substack as well.
We'll make sure that we tagyour sub stack for our listeners
to go over and subscribe to, orjust peruse and read and learn
(22:15):
what you have going on.
Yeah, yeah, sure, thank youguys.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Absolutely so.
We've talked about themiseducated journal.
That's on the horizon,something that you'd like to
have done.
We've talked about book two.
That's in the works.
No pressure when it's done, interms of where you're going and
what you'd like to see foryourself moving forward.
Talk to us a little bit aboutthat.
What's next?
Speaker 4 (22:36):
Oh, my goodness, I mean, in addition to also the
sex reports, that I want to puttogether the anonymized-.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
That's right, I forgot about the data.
How did I forget about the data?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
Yeah, I mean back in any of these projects.
I think it's good and know asan entrepreneurial person I try
to just host a bunch ofexperiments, right.
So again with your listenersand their lives, it's like, okay
, maybe not every single one ofyour hobbies or interests is
going to turn into afully-fledged business, but
that's what I'm.
That's where I'm hoping tostart at least adding the sex
report in there as well.
And another thing that I'mworking on is basically helping
(23:06):
women with self-promotion andthat shamelessness aspect as
well.
So that's where maybe abusiness or consulting arm can
kind of come into it, because Ican say, hey, like you guys have
expertise in XYZ, I've got mydata skills, I've got my
storytelling skills, I builtthis newsletter.
So let's package and puttogether all your expertise so
that you can present your bestself on the internet and get
(23:28):
over that like fear aroundself-promotion, I think because
a lot of women really strugglewith that.
So, using that shamelessnesspiece, and also, I think what's
funny is I was just talkingabout it yesterday with another
girl who does like similarconsulting work and she was
saying, well, why don't you makesex writing part of your
offering right for yourcorporate clients as well?
And I was just thinking thatcould be such an interesting
(23:51):
aspect.
So, while I'm helping packageall of your you know, your
businesses and your expertise,like having that sense of
shamelessly well, theshamelessly sexy aspect of it
should also be included as acomponent, as one of my
offerings for my businessclients.
So I would love to see, in youknow, two, three years time, I
would love to see plenty of likeamazing you know, small
(24:11):
business female clients or otherlike women in corporate tech,
whatever, who want a little bitof spice to their personal brand
to be working with me, and thenmaybe my couple of books
published and then that annuallike sex report that's coming
out.
So there's lots of excitingthings on the horizon.
Yeah, and thank you forallowing me the space to like
speak them into existence aswell, because it does help when
(24:32):
people ask you hey, what do youwish you?
were doing in three years timeand I'd be like I wish I had
plenty of money and I was just,you know, adding all these uh
clients to my roster.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
So yeah, we'll have to have you back in three years
exactly, accomplished all ofthis, and I hope so I know, I
would love to celebrate thatwith them.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Yes, yes, and I have to agree with your friend that
you met with yesterday.
I'm just in terms of thesexuality piece of the work,
bringing that into your femalecorporate clients, because I
think we all know like sexuality, sensuality, especially for
women, in that corporate spaceis suppressed tremendously
(25:12):
because there's quote unquotenot a space for that, or not
allowed, or it's frowned upon orwhatever the judgment ie
introduce, the shame that comesalong with that, and so we have
these mediocre version of womenthat are showing up to fit into
a box and suppressing a hugesegment of who we are.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
Yeah, who we are exactly.
And I think that's where theshamelessness aspect of it comes
in, because you don't have tobe like telling our bosses or
co-workers or whatever, likethis is how I masturbate, Like
that's what we're talking abouthere.
It's about bringing your fullself and women.
We experience shame on so manydifferent aspects of our lives.
It could be like our hair knowwhat we wear, how sporty we are
(25:52):
if we're like attractive enough,blah, blah, blah.
And so I think addressing thatspecific some of the shame,
right like not taking all yourshame away, but just just
working on a little bit of it, Ithink it'd be so transformative
and that could really help aswell for that like business
success, which is what we'regoing for.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
So, yeah, I love it that's exciting all of the
projects.
I think that they arephenomenal.
I already see it in existence,so I am excited to celebrate it
for you and with you.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
This is great yeah, this is fun.
Yeah, thanks for asking meincredible questions as well.
I'm like yeah so much fun.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
It has been a blast.
Is there anything that wehaven't touched on that you'd
like to leave our listeners withtoday?
Speaker 4 (26:34):
You know, I think we've talked about a lot and
you've really given me amazingspace and time to just again
open up to some of my craziestexperiences, my most whimsical
experiences.
But I think, yeah, my mainmessage for everyone is just, if
you have a calling or aninclination of like what you
want to do, just don't go toyour grave with your stories
inside of you, you know, just goout there, do your thing and
(26:57):
being happy, very important.
You know, like I graduated fromthe Wharton School and I could
be sitting in any office in SanFrancisco, chicago, new York,
whatever, making 300k at someprivate equity company and I
could be effing, miserable,miserable.
Or I could be writing teenromance fiction and exploring
like the beautiful stories thathelped me feel alive, right, and
so, yes, you are the light, thelights of the world, as Rumi
(27:19):
said.
So I really appreciate you know.
I really just really wish thebest for everyone who's
listening right now and all thecareer success for you in
something that matters to youand makes you feel happy.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
That's a beautiful thing to end on.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Love it, love it, thank you, thank you and thank
you for being transparent andvulnerable and sharing your own
personal experiences and yourjourney Right.
I think a lot of people see theend result.
They don't realize everythingthat has led up to this and
you've had quite an impeccablejourney.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
The universe, let the universe know you're good,
fulfilled we're gonna just keepmoving on with what we have.
Messages.
Now I'm I've had my fill ofinput, thank you yes, exactly,
we're good oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Well, thank you, thank you.
Thank you for sharingcongratulations on the book.
We will make sure that we tagthe book, tag the podcast and
the sub stack in the show notesso our listeners can check you
out and get to know more aboutyou.
Thank you for the work thatyou're doing for our communities
as well.
Your impact is global, soreally appreciate that.
And and, of course, thank youfor taking the time out to join
(28:27):
us.
Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Thank you, Pamela and Natalie.
You guys rock.
I'm super excited and gratefulto have been here today so
fabulous wonderful for ourlisteners.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
If you are interested in learning more about what's
happening in the world ofreignite resilience, head on
over to reigniteresiliencecom orfind us on facebook or
instagram.
And until next time, we willsee you all soon thanks everyone
.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Thank you for joining us today on the reigniteite
Resilience podcast.
We hope you had some ahamoments and learned a few new
real life ideas.
To fuel the flames of passion,please subscribe on your
favorite streaming platform,like or download your favorite
episodes and, of course, sharewith your friends and family.
We look forward to seeing youagain next time on Reignite
(29:10):
Resilience.
Before we begin today's episode, we just wanna
take a few moments to advise youthat today's episode does
discuss sensitive topics andlistener discretion is advised.
If at any point, you need topause or step away, please
prioritize your wellbeing.
Today we're exploring thesecomplex themes with care and
respect because we understandthat having an open and informed
(00:22):
conversation can foster healingand understanding.
Our goal is to create a safespace for dialogue free from
judgment.
We hope you enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
All of us reach a point in time where we are
depleted and need to somehowfind a way to reignite the fire
within.
But how do we spark that flame?
And need to somehow find a wayto reignite the fire within, but
how do we spark that flame?
Welcome to Reignite Resilience,where we will venture into the
heart of the human spirit.
We'll discuss the art ofreigniting our passion and
(00:58):
strategies to stoke ourenthusiasm.
And now here are your hosts,Natalie Davis and Pamela Cass.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Talk to us about the book, because you've gone
through the work and theseperfectly careless things,
Congratulations by the way, yes.
Talk to us a little bit aboutthe novel.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Yeah, yes.
Well, the novel is set inLondon, as I was telling you
earlier, and it follows thestory of Abby Chesterton.
That she's 15 years old and shewants to become an artist, but
she's from a very like stuffyand stuck-up English family.
So basically she's also part ofthis very cool, the cool crowd
you know in these teenagers inLondon and she goes to a house
(01:44):
party and she meets a very likekind of enigmatic and like
philosophical guy called JonahWood, and Jonah is the person
who inspires her to pursue hercreative goals.
She applies to transfer to hisschool because you know he's got
a very good art program at hisschool.
So basically it's their lovestory going around London and
(02:05):
all of that.
You get to see all the ways thatshe develops as a character in
terms of her artistic ability,but also you're with her in her
most intimate moments.
So again, I have not shied awayfrom any of the female
experience in this book, so youwill get.
You know periods and first timeand you know all those kinds of
really, really intimate momentsand also taking a pregnancy
test in the starbucks bathroom.
(02:26):
So you get to see thischaracter through all her most
intimate aspects of her life and, yeah, you have to keep reading
towards the end to see whathappens with their relationship.
Do they end up together or doesshe?
Do they go separate ways?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
so, yes, love that is this part one of part two or a
trilogy, or are there more Well?
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I'm now also working on a second book.
It is a summer love story setin California, and I have gone
back and forth about whetherthis is part of the series or
what, but I've settled on thefact that the characters are
actually going to be connected.
So the same exact set ofcharacters, but one of Abby's
friends will be the maincharacter of the second novel.
(03:06):
So you kind of have a bit of asense of continuity for the
people who know.
But then the people who don'tknow can just pick up the second
novel and read it as astandalone as well.
So it's beautiful and it'scentered on the going to this
lake in California, you knowwhere there's no internet and
you're just.
It's just beautiful pine treesetc.
So it's focused on their lovestory.
And then they have thisbeautiful whirlwind romance for
(03:27):
the first half of the book andthen in the second half of the
book you get to see whether,five years later, if a summer
romance can still last, andbasically I try to answer the
question is love enough?
So that's book number twocongratulations.
I see like mini series moviesyeah, it's honestly really fun
(03:48):
and I I write like a lot ofother non-fiction posts on my
blog around sexuality or my lifeor whatever, but writing this
kind of fiction is just likeit's beautiful and it's easy for
me and I really enjoy doing it.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
So, yeah, so this was what you were writing when you
were 14, so stories like this,yes, well, the, that was the
main, the main book that'salready been published at this
point.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
So so this was what you were writing when you were
14.
So stories like this yes, well,that was the main book that's
already been published at thispoint.
So now I but I've now beenharboring these new ideas for
books for a couple of years, andthen, by the time you've had a
book idea for three years, youjust think, gosh, better sit
down and write the thing.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
It's time to go.
Yeah, do you know, by chance,how many books are within?
Speaker 4 (04:29):
you have, you done that work, oh my god.
Well, I know at least like threemore okay kind of challenging,
because then you're like it's,it takes a lot of time and
effort to write a book, whereasI could pump out an article, you
know, in five hours and it's onthe internet.
People could read it and engagewith it.
So it's not just you know, it'sa real like labor of love, I
think.
But I'm hoping to get it done,hopefully sometime this year,
(04:49):
but we'll see.
We'll see when it comes out, soyeah, Love that.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Tell us a little bit about your podcast.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Yeah, so the podcast is called Miseducated and it's
also the blog, so I write onthat every week and these days
I'm doing like voiceovers aswell.
So a lot of the podcastepisodes are like you can just
listen along to an article thatI've written.
But it started out about six,seven years ago and I started
with birth control stories.
So I shared my own birthcontrol story and how I found
(05:17):
like the hormonal IUD, which isthe one that works for me, and I
interviewed a lot of differentwomen and then, as I developed
that brand, I wanted tointerviewed a lot of different
women and then, as I developedthat brand, I wanted to
interview a lot of women whowere in femtech, so like women's
health tech companies.
So you know, they're solvingproblems around like menopause
or, like you know, breast pumpsor whatever it is, or like
sexual wellness toys.
So I continue to build thosestories and now it's basically
(05:41):
anyone who kind of like catchesmy eye who I want to like really
get to know.
My favorite person ever that Iinterviewed was Dr Kristen Neff,
who is the world leading experton self-compassion, based out
of UT Austin.
So she's she's like a big dog,you know, in the world.
So I was really grateful tointerview her like about a year
and a half ago now.
But yeah, I basically justmostly focus on the audio aspect
(06:04):
of my articles so people canengage by listening.
You know, with audio ratherthan reading if they prefer to
listen instead of read.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
So there you go beautiful and that's what you
bring over to your sub stack.
Is that correct?
Like that's where you houseeverything.
Okay, it's all there.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Yes, and the mission these days I updated the mission
recently is to help the worldbe shamelessly sexy.
So I focus a lot on helpingpeople figure out what they want
in terms of their sexuality,like what, what they, you know,
desire, believing that theydeserve what they want, and then
also asking for what they want.
So those are the threecomponents of what a shamelessly
sexy life includes.
(06:39):
So I'm currently building thoseteaching methodologies and my
last piece that I just wrotelast week was called how to keep
a sex journal.
So it's specifically focusingon journaling about you know,
reflecting on all of yourprevious like intimate
experiences and what you learnedfrom them both what you liked
and what you didn't like and I'mhoping that that's a whole
product line that I will be ableto like, also sell and launch
(06:59):
at that at some point, so peoplecan buy my like miseducated sex
journal.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I love that because I think it's one of those things
that it's been so taboo,especially in the United States,
to talk about that and it'sjust kind of one of those things
it's like, well, we just don'ttalk about that.
So I love the idea ofjournaling about.
You know, what do I like, whatdo I not like?
Because if you can share thatwith somebody you're intimate
with, it's going to be such abetter experience for everybody.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Yeah, totally, not just with your partner, but also
for yourself, for yourself,yeah, yeah.
And what's so interesting aboutit is I love writing, right, so
it's a treat for me to be ableto teach other people some of
the beauty of writing, but it'ssuch a personal and private
thing to do.
But my favorite aspect of likeexploring my sexuality, though,
is the idea that a lot ofsexuality is kind of your
inverted self, you know.
(07:46):
So I'm a very like independent,like you know, feminist out
there, woman, blah, blah, blah,but then in the bedroom, I'm
like preferring to be like a sub, you know, or like lose control
, or like have someone tell mewhat to do.
So it's like, and then I'm like, how can I even call myself a
feminist if, like, this is who Iam in the bedroom and this is
who I am?
It in contrast with my reallife, you know.
So I basically just hope toprovide the tools that help
(08:09):
people feel more comfortablewith those different aspects of
our like more deviant natures,you know.
But I think it's a reallybeautiful topic and just
something that I'm reallyexcited to share with the world.
So I want to continue to buildthat whole sex journaling tool
set for people.
Awesome, love that.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
How did you find yourself on this path?
Because I guess growing up inLondon not so much, but you
think, if I think like growingup in England very conservative,
very reserved, not a lot ofroom for expression, london may
be the one city in the UK that'skind of like OK, except here.
How did you find yourself onthis journey?
Speaker 4 (08:50):
how did you find yourself on this journey?
Yeah, well, I think moving toAmerica was a really big part of
it, actually, because Americansare so much louder and take up
space and they eat triple cheesehamburgers and you know, moving
to America really helped me toembrace those parts of myself
that had been kind of likesuppressed in English culture.
But you make a really goodpoint because you know, I have
all these.
Having all these these thoughts, I felt really alone as well
(09:11):
during a lot of my experiences,like getting birth control for
the first time, and I justthought, god, I don't know if I
want to live in a culture whereI can't talk about these things.
And I think things have evolveda little bit.
Like talking about periods ismuch more common these days, but
there's still a lot of liketaboos around these issues.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Barely Kind of.
I mean that's stretched in somespaces, but yes, we are making
progress there.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Yes, a little bit, a little bit.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
I think honestly it's about also kind of giving the
finger to the system in a weirdway, Because ultimately I think
women especially in my family,you know, as of three
generations ago didn't go touniversity or maybe never had
the ability to say the thingsthat you know they wanted to say
.
So I feel a lot of like I guessI don't know honor and
privilege to be able to, numberone, have the education that I
(09:56):
have and, again, the access toresources where I can fund my
own lifestyle you know, doingconsulting projects for remote
companies or whatever but thenuse my voice to, I don't know
help other women feel more seenor explore parts of themselves
that are like more fun anyway.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I love that.
I love that.
Well, that's as you talk about,like three generations.
That's such an.
Again it pulls up for me my momnot with us currently and she's
passed, but I just rememberwhen I was a young girl very
reserved household, very strongreligious upbringing and I
remember her like it was notallowed to wear red nail polish
(10:34):
or red lipstick.
Okay, so we're let's take itvery basic, because those were
the things that only a Jezebelwould wear.
And those were the exact words,and so here I am like 10 years
old and I'm like I can't wearred nail polish because I'm not
a Jezebel Like who says that Wow.
So like when you would likecreating this space, as you talk
(10:56):
about, like where we can justfreely discuss the things that
we naturally go through andexperience and want to
experience in life?
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Yeah, and I'm writing about that, for example, I
think, reflecting on, like thered lipstick and red nail polish
situation so interesting, right, like there's a lot that you
could explore there for yourself.
Just be like, hey, what do Iactually think about this Do now
, when I see, you know, michelleObama wearing like red nail
polish, am I judging the heckout of her or not?
Like it's kind of interesting.
I think, in that sense, to tobe able to explore those topics.
(11:27):
But yeah, I mean, my mom hasn'tread my book and I don't know
if she ever will.
But my grandma is actuallyreally, really open-minded and I
talk to my grandma about thesethings all the time.
So that's great because she'slike 87 and again, you know who,
not who knows how much longershe'll be around, as much as I
love her.
So I do really enjoy talkingabout these topics with my
grandma a lot yeah, well, and Ilove that you I mean like
(11:50):
menopause.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
I mean just just now they're starting to talk more
about it.
It's just been like one ofthose things that you just don't
talk about, that.
And I was at dinner with two ofmy girlfriends and that's what
we talked about the whole day.
I was like, oh my gosh, I'm inthat space in my life where this
is what we talk about.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
You know, we're not talking.
Not talking about boys anymore.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
We're talking about menopause and like, oh yeah, you
got to use this cream and hereI'll give you this lady's name.
And I was like, oh, this ishilarious.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Yeah, and I think, amongst female friends, like,
we're definitely able to havemore of those conversations now,
which is super important.
And yeah, I think, basically Idon't expect everyone to be able
to like write openly abouttheir sex life on the Internet
like I have, but what I'm goingto hopefully do as well is have
(12:37):
more like anonymous surveys andpolls and stuff that people can
contribute to so you can stillsay like, oh, these are my
experiences, like I masturbatelike three times a week or
whatever.
But then you can see over thehundred people or whatever that
we surveyed, like what everyoneelse is doing with their
masturbation techniques, that wesurveyed, like what everyone
else is doing with theirmasturbation techniques.
So that's a whole report thatI'm going to start, you know,
hopefully at some point laterthis year.
So I'm excited to kind offigure out because that's also
(12:57):
bringing in my data mind and myWharton background, analyzing
stuff from a statisticalperspective and making it fun
with like emojis and stuff likeI already have idea and for the
graphs and things that I want tocreate.
So I'm just trying to, you know, continue the projects that I'm
excited about.
It's going to be, hopefully, agood year, yeah and make it more
acceptable to talk about.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Right, you know, I mean it's we've been.
America is very prude, like weare very like we just don't talk
about it, and I think that'swhat's unique about Europe is
it's way more open over therethan it is here.
So I love that you're bringingit.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Well, hopefully people will be more likely to
share like a statistic at dinner, you know they can be like.
Oh yeah, you know 50% of womenare really like this thing in
the bedroom.
Don't know where that came from.
I'll keep programmed, you know.
I think that makes things moreapproachable too.
Oh, I think that's moreapproachable too.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Oh, I think that's like you just slip a note to the
guy you're dating, just so youknow 85% of women like this in
the bedroom.
I'm just saying, it's juststatistics.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Statistically speaking, you should probably.
Statistically speaking, maybewe should explore that a little
bit.
I love that there was a substack that you shared that I'm
intrigued on and I just, I'mjust curious and I would love to
have you share it with ourlisteners.
I think recently I don't knowthe timeframe you hosted a nude
(14:21):
party or a naked party.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Yes, this is my most, one of my most popular articles
.
So this was actually inuniversity, in college, and I
had heard this was.
I hosted it in like 2016, 2017,I think.
So it's been a while now.
But I had heard that the kidsabove me, you know, in older
grades, were the craziest,wildest college people ever.
And I just thought, well, youknow, we're still crazy today.
(14:45):
We should do something crazy, sowe, so I decided to host the
naked party with my housemate atthe time, and world of word
obviously like spread around thecampus, like very yeah, I don't
know why I will say it's calledhow to host the naked body, but
in that article I go through acouple of different like
clothing optional experiencesthat I've had and one of them is
(15:07):
called the naked bike ride inPhiladelphia which happens every
September.
Highly recommend because you goon this beautiful tour of all
these historic sites inPhiladelphia and it's clothing
optional so you see people'sbodies, all shapes, sizes,
backgrounds, whatever you knowlike.
It's really a self acceptingkind of really I feel like
empowering experience and Iremember specifically when I
(15:29):
hosted this naked party at myhouse that basically the first
people to arrive were like acouple of my other female
friends and we had body paint sowe were painting like rivers
and like mountains all over eachother and it was like so
wholesome.
Yeah, one of the main tips thatI have is that a lot of these
(15:49):
kind of like know play partyspaces or whatever are often
founded by men and a lot, unlessyou have like a critical mass
of females- you're never goingto feel comfortable as a female
in one of those spaces, you know.
So I think that it was like meand my housemate hosting it at
the time.
It went really well.
I had a really fun time andobviously I had to be butt naked
because, like as the host, Icouldn't be you know, can't be
(16:11):
fully clothed yeah it was.
It was really beautiful, though,and I will just add like one
detail that is really funny isthat humans are we're so good at
mirroring other people, right?
So if you walk into a room andthere's a hundred naked people
and you're the only one wearingclothes, you just will
immediately feel souncomfortable that you'll just
like you don't want to be, right, the odd person in a huge group
(16:36):
of people.
So, again, you reach thatcritical mass of naked people
ideally with a lot of females inthere as well and then, as a
new person joins, they're goingto feel like oh my God, I need
to take off my clothesimmediately, because otherwise
I'm going to be the odd man out.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, I love that, and your guests?
I'm assuming that they had agreat experience as well.
I hope so, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
I should ask my friend yeah, you know, it's like
it was a really fun thing to beable to do, but I just been
painting the mountains and thelike.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
The whole female experience part at the beginning
was just like, wow, we're doingsomething cooler than I had
expected at the time absolutelywell, I've always been intrigued
by like body painting partiesor in places where you do body
paint, or festivals I guessthere's a lot of festivals where
you do just body paint only.
So, bringing that into your ownpart it's, and you're creating
(17:26):
a safe space.
Right, it's bringinglike-minded individuals together
in a safe space.
Nothing sexual that's takingplace, right, it's just truly
come, gathering of friends andlike-minded individuals to just
enjoy one another and enjoy oneanother's company, just yeah.
Closing optional.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
I haven't written about this yet, but I
accidentally just took part in amassive nude photo shoot, which
is an accident.
So my friends in Mexico Cityare incredible artists,
musicians and everything, and myfriend Gigi invited me to this
incredible old school like kindof a conference-y.
It's basically an abandonedhouse that they've turned into
like an art exhibition space,and so when I got all the way
(18:08):
there, they like made us, theyput us in this room and they
were like okay, you're going tolight this person this way.
And then they're like okay,like, go take off your clothes.
And I was like what?
I didn't realize this.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
We didn't mention this.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
Yes, but the photographer is called Rob
Woodcocks and he specificallyfocuses on beautiful, like you
know, dancers and ballet dancers.
But everyone's like wearingnude tones or they're just full
on butt naked, and so, yes, Ihope to share some of those
images eventually, because it'sreally really beautiful and we
had all different kinds of womenit was only women in those
events, but this is one buteventually, later in the day, I
(18:45):
would lay upside down on thestaircase like butt naked again
for like a good half an hour andI was so uncomfortable the
whole time.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
But those images totally worth it like yes, yes,
because you have to hold ituntil we capture the shot, so
don't move yes, anyway, shoutout to Rob Woodcocks and all my
amazing creative designermusicians, office friends in
Mexico City.
I'm super grateful to have mycommunity here yeah, what a
great experience to just happenoh my gosh like that was not
(19:12):
something that you planned yeah,and I'm planning on like buying
.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
There's a bunch of them that I'm in, like I know
which ones of the images thatI'm in, so I'm planning on
getting like full blown up printversions of them and like
framing them in my house, inyour house, yeah, but I already
have a lot of art on my wall, soI don't know where, I don't
know you'll find a space.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I was gonna say make room.
These are what.
This is one of the things thatyou make room right, because it
becomes a conversation piece forvisitors that come over as well
.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yeah, good for you.
I love that.
I love that well for our gueststhat are interested in that
space, because that's I mean youhappen upon it, you obviously
are comfortable in that space.
But talk to us a little bitabout, like, the environment,
the conversation, kind of theemotions for folks when entering
into a space like that, becauseI think that's a, I think it's
(19:59):
a big task just for thelifestyle that many of us have
grown up with, if we've not beenexposed to that.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Yeah, totally.
I think, again, it depends onwho is hosting these things.
So I've also gone to more playparties, sex parties in New York
through a group called NSFW,which again I think is a really
amazing space where you canexplore with your partner and
everything.
But sometimes even in thoserooms, right, it's like, unless
you get that critical mass offemales, as a female, I'm not
going to feel comfortable inthat experience.
(20:26):
So it's really important tojust continue to go back to that
and make sure that you're it'sbeing hosted by people that you
trust and, again, you don't haveto do anything that you don't
want to do.
But I also find, like you know,kind of like festivals, some
like there's some, you know,folk festivals that I've been to
in the woods, you know you canfind pockets of these more like
(20:46):
hippie people when you want to.
And I even um in northernCalifornia in like the Russian
River I think I went campingwith my friends there and like
people there are, just, like youknow, out and about with no
clothes on no big deal.
Also, climate is aconsideration, I would
definitely say so like make sureyou're in somewhere that's warm
, somewhere that's nice.
And another really beautifuldocumentary which I think.
(21:06):
I think it's called like stonewhat are they called?
Smoke Sauna, sisterhood Reallyreally beautiful.
Documentary about women inestonia who, again, clothing
optional or like no clothes insaunas is a really big thing, um
, in scandinavia.
But I really really recommendthose kinds of like really
beautiful experiences with otherwomen.
And, yeah, saunas, I think, areanother area which I really
(21:29):
really enjoy, just because ofthe physicality of it and I feel
, I don't know, you just feelreally rejuvenated afterwards.
So, yeah, maybe try and findyour local sauna where there's
like clothing optional orwomen's only days as well.
Banyas, those kinds of thingsI'm a big fan of, like bathing
in a variety of different waysand environments yeah, kind of
go from there.
So, yeah, but just stay safeand only be with people that you
(21:53):
want to be with.
I would say, yeah, beautiful.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Well, I love that you continue to bring these
experiences to either your blogsor the podcast, and maybe books
in the future.
So that's exciting.
Yes, and any other how-tos thatyou're going to share on your
Substack as well.
We'll make sure that we tagyour sub stack for our listeners
to go over and subscribe to, orjust peruse and read and learn
(22:15):
what you have going on.
Yeah, yeah, sure, thank youguys.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Absolutely so.
We've talked about themiseducated journal.
That's on the horizon,something that you'd like to
have done.
We've talked about book two.
That's in the works.
No pressure when it's done, interms of where you're going and
what you'd like to see foryourself moving forward.
Talk to us a little bit aboutthat.
What's next?
Speaker 4 (22:36):
Oh, my goodness, I mean, in addition to also the
sex reports, that I want to puttogether the anonymized-.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
That's right, I forgot about the data.
How did I forget about the data?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
Yeah, I mean back in any of these projects.
I think it's good and know asan entrepreneurial person I try
to just host a bunch ofexperiments, right.
So again with your listenersand their lives, it's like, okay
, maybe not every single one ofyour hobbies or interests is
going to turn into afully-fledged business, but
that's what I'm.
That's where I'm hoping tostart at least adding the sex
report in there as well.
And another thing that I'mworking on is basically helping
(23:06):
women with self-promotion andthat shamelessness aspect as
well.
So that's where maybe abusiness or consulting arm can
kind of come into it, because Ican say, hey, like you guys have
expertise in XYZ, I've got mydata skills, I've got my
storytelling skills, I builtthis newsletter.
So let's package and puttogether all your expertise so
that you can present your bestself on the internet and get
(23:28):
over that like fear aroundself-promotion, I think because
a lot of women really strugglewith that.
So, using that shamelessnesspiece, and also, I think what's
funny is I was just talkingabout it yesterday with another
girl who does like similarconsulting work and she was
saying, well, why don't you makesex writing part of your
offering right for yourcorporate clients as well?
And I was just thinking thatcould be such an interesting
(23:51):
aspect.
So, while I'm helping packageall of your you know, your
businesses and your expertise,like having that sense of
shamelessly well, theshamelessly sexy aspect of it
should also be included as acomponent, as one of my
offerings for my businessclients.
So I would love to see, in youknow, two, three years time, I
would love to see plenty of likeamazing you know, small
(24:11):
business female clients or otherlike women in corporate tech,
whatever, who want a little bitof spice to their personal brand
to be working with me, and thenmaybe my couple of books
published and then that annuallike sex report that's coming
out.
So there's lots of excitingthings on the horizon.
Yeah, and thank you forallowing me the space to like
speak them into existence aswell, because it does help when
(24:32):
people ask you hey, what do youwish you?
were doing in three years timeand I'd be like I wish I had
plenty of money and I was just,you know, adding all these uh
clients to my roster.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
So yeah, we'll have to have you back in three years
exactly, accomplished all ofthis, and I hope so I know, I
would love to celebrate thatwith them.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Yes, yes, and I have to agree with your friend that
you met with yesterday.
I'm just in terms of thesexuality piece of the work,
bringing that into your femalecorporate clients, because I
think we all know like sexuality, sensuality, especially for
women, in that corporate spaceis suppressed tremendously
(25:12):
because there's quote unquotenot a space for that, or not
allowed, or it's frowned upon orwhatever the judgment ie
introduce, the shame that comesalong with that, and so we have
these mediocre version of womenthat are showing up to fit into
a box and suppressing a hugesegment of who we are.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
Yeah, who we are exactly.
And I think that's where theshamelessness aspect of it comes
in, because you don't have tobe like telling our bosses or
co-workers or whatever, likethis is how I masturbate, Like
that's what we're talking abouthere.
It's about bringing your fullself and women.
We experience shame on so manydifferent aspects of our lives.
It could be like our hair knowwhat we wear, how sporty we are
(25:52):
if we're like attractive enough,blah, blah, blah.
And so I think addressing thatspecific some of the shame,
right like not taking all yourshame away, but just just
working on a little bit of it, Ithink it'd be so transformative
and that could really help aswell for that like business
success, which is what we'regoing for.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
So, yeah, I love it that's exciting all of the
projects.
I think that they arephenomenal.
I already see it in existence,so I am excited to celebrate it
for you and with you.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
This is great yeah, this is fun.
Yeah, thanks for asking meincredible questions as well.
I'm like yeah so much fun.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
It has been a blast.
Is there anything that wehaven't touched on that you'd
like to leave our listeners withtoday?
Speaker 4 (26:34):
You know, I think we've talked about a lot and
you've really given me amazingspace and time to just again
open up to some of my craziestexperiences, my most whimsical
experiences.
But I think, yeah, my mainmessage for everyone is just, if
you have a calling or aninclination of like what you
want to do, just don't go toyour grave with your stories
inside of you, you know, just goout there, do your thing and
(26:57):
being happy, very important.
You know, like I graduated fromthe Wharton School and I could
be sitting in any office in SanFrancisco, chicago, new York,
whatever, making 300k at someprivate equity company and I
could be effing, miserable,miserable.
Or I could be writing teenromance fiction and exploring
like the beautiful stories thathelped me feel alive, right, and
so, yes, you are the light, thelights of the world, as Rumi
(27:19):
said.
So I really appreciate you know.
I really just really wish thebest for everyone who's
listening right now and all thecareer success for you in
something that matters to youand makes you feel happy.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
That's a beautiful thing to end on.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Love it, love it, thank you, thank you and thank
you for being transparent andvulnerable and sharing your own
personal experiences and yourjourney Right.
I think a lot of people see theend result.
They don't realize everythingthat has led up to this and
you've had quite an impeccablejourney.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
The universe, let the universe know you're good,
fulfilled we're gonna just keepmoving on with what we have.
Messages.
Now I'm I've had my fill ofinput, thank you yes, exactly,
we're good oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Well, thank you, thank you.
Thank you for sharingcongratulations on the book.
We will make sure that we tagthe book, tag the podcast and
the sub stack in the show notesso our listeners can check you
out and get to know more aboutyou.
Thank you for the work thatyou're doing for our communities
as well.
Your impact is global, soreally appreciate that.
And and, of course, thank youfor taking the time out to join
(28:27):
us.
Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Thank you, Pamela and Natalie.
You guys rock.
I'm super excited and gratefulto have been here today so
fabulous wonderful for ourlisteners.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
If you are interested in learning more about what's
happening in the world ofreignite resilience, head on
over to reigniteresiliencecom orfind us on facebook or
instagram.
And until next time, we willsee you all soon thanks everyone
.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Thank you for joining us today on the reigniteite
Resilience podcast.
We hope you had some ahamoments and learned a few new
real life ideas.
To fuel the flames of passion,please subscribe on your
favorite streaming platform,like or download your favorite
episodes and, of course, sharewith your friends and family.
We look forward to seeing youagain next time on Reignite
(29:10):
Resilience.
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