September 18, 2025 • 22 mins
Our brains and bodies can become addicted to high cortisol states, making normal, relaxed states feel wrong. By recognizing and rewriting the stories we tell ourselves, we can break these cycles and create sustainable ways to thrive without constant stress.
• Understanding how neural pathways form and create "stories" that guide our behavior
• Identifying dysfunctional stories by noticing disconnects between desires and actions
• Creating new neural pathways requires consistent repetition, just like building muscle
• Three pillars of resilience: body science, soul science, and brain science
• Distinguishing between harmful stubbornness and genuine resilience
• Micro-changes consistently applied create more sustainable transformation than extreme measures
Download Jenny's free cortisol reset protocol at jennyevans.com/yourcortisolreset to start balancing your stress chemistry today. Join Jenny's "Soul on Fire" coaching and mastermind group for women on the first Friday of every month to receive support, strategies, and community as you create a fulfilling life on your terms.
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Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The co-hosts of this podcast are not medical professionals. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. Reliance on any information provided by the podcast hosts or guests is solely at your own risk.
Pamela Cass is a licensed broker with Kentwood Real Estate
Natalie Davis is a licensed broker with Keller Williams Realty Downtown, LLC
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
All of us reach a point in time where we are
depleted and need to somehowfind a way to reignite the fire
within.
But how do we spark that flame?
Welcome to Reignite Resilience,where we will venture into the
heart of the human spirit.
Resilience where we willventure into the heart of the
(00:27):
human spirit.
We'll discuss the art ofreigniting our passion and
strategies to stoke ourenthusiasm.
And now here are your hosts,natalie Davis and Pamela Kass.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
What happens when you have people that are almost
living at high cortisol all thetime and then they get to a
place where they hit, burnout orwhatever and they want to do
this reset, but then their bodyjust wants to go back to the
high cortisol because that'swhat it's known for so long.
It's like they're normal.
It's like no, no, no, I need tobe living in this space.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I love that you bring this up because for so many
people and I think especially Ifind that women struggle with
this a little bit more ofthey're so used to that
heightened high vibration statethat when they're not in it,
they're feeling like something'swrong.
I mean, what really this is isalmost like a stress addiction.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
That you're so used to a specific feeling, an
emotional state, a physicalstate, and when the cortisol is
gone and your body is in itsnatural state, you start feeling
like something's wrong, becausenow you have a new level of
homeostasis that you're not usedto, physically as well as
(01:47):
psychologically, and I thinkthat's where, like, a lot of the
psychological work starts tocome in, as, like, as we have
calmed down the cortisol.
Now what we need to do is weneed to start looking at a lot
of the neural pathways that havebeen carved into your brain,
and I like to just call theseneural pathways stories.
So what are your stories aroundproductivity?
(02:12):
What are your stories aroundyour sense of self-worth and the
amount of tasks that youaccomplish on a daily basis?
What are your stories aroundyour boundaries and what you say
yes to and what you say no to?
So often people come to mebecause I'm all about like.
(02:32):
When they hear like oh, she'salso like a performance coach
and I want to perform more, Iwant to be able to expand my
capacity so that I can meet allthe demands in my life.
What we really start to uncoveris oh, girl, the last thing
that you need is one more thing.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Is to do more.
Yes.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Stop doing things.
So once we start gettingclarity on values, beliefs,
purpose, you start reallygetting really clear on who and
what should be getting yourenergy, and who and what should
not, who and what's a priority,who and what's not.
We need to also dig into thesestories that you have around
(03:10):
productivity, success how arethey working for you?
And when you have clarity onyour values and beliefs and
purpose and mission, that's whenyou can start to rewrite some
very new powerful stories thatare really grounded in the truth
, are really aligned with yourvalues and beliefs and really
(03:31):
take you where you want to goand help you start making
different decisions.
You know so, pam, it's funnybecause of like, what was that
Dr Seuss book where there wasthat red spot and then it just
kept moving around and it keptgetting bigger of sometimes when
you think, okay, I've solved mycortisol problem, and then
you're like, great, now I haveanother problem because
(03:53):
psychologically I don't know howto relax, I don't know how to
operate at this and a half dayswhere it was no chores no tasks,
no phone, no talking to anybody, no anything.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
And Natalie knows it was so flipping hard because I'm
that person.
If I'm walking across the roomI'm going to do 15 things on the
way there, because it's soefficient to get all this stuff
done and to not be able to doanything for that many days not
look at my phone, not listen,not read, not write nothing.
I thought it was going to burstinto flames.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Pam, I just squirted cortisol just thinking about
that.
That sounds terrifying.
We didn't get to it.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Natalie knows this.
I was talking myself out ofdoing this, coming up with every
known excuse, and it wasprobably the best and most
powerful thing I've ever gonethrough in my life.
Good for you.
But then it ended at seveno'clock on a Sunday night.
What did I do?
I turned my phone on and abouthad a coronary because it was
like everything just went rightback.
But that's my baseline, so it'slike okay, now we're back into
(04:55):
crazy.
Yeah, wow, okay.
How do you help people identifythe stories?
So you've got all these neuralpathways, these stories that
we've created about activity andall the tasks and things that
we need to do.
How do you help peoplerecognize them?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Yeah, Well, first of all, our brain loves stories
because, when you think aboutjust the amount of information
that we're taking in on a dailybasis and decisions and
experiences, a way to juststreamline this is, our brain
will create stories to givemeaning and significance to our
(05:29):
life events.
So we just will create storiesthat help to explain how and why
things happen and how and whythings don't happen.
And some of the stories weretaught and given by our parents,
our teachers, religion, gender,you know, where in the world
did you grow up?
So it's the stories that youtell to yourself about yourself
(05:54):
and the experiences that youhave.
And most people have a lot ofreally great, powerful,
functional stories that takethem where they want to go.
But here's a great way tofigure out what about some of
those stories that are probablynot so great.
Any time there is a disconnectbetween wanting to do something,
(06:15):
or maybe knowing how to dosomething, yet we're not taking
action, like we're trying and wefail, or sneaky Pete's like
well, now is not the right timeto try, or we don't have time to
try right now.
So anytime there's a disconnect, there's a story that's
standing in your way.
So I'm going to share one withyou that I am actually in
process of rewriting Pretty muchmy whole entire life.
(06:37):
I have had a story that I don'teven like to say it out loud,
because we give life to whateverwe give our energy to, and I've
been working on it so hard.
But my old story was I suck atsales, I suck at sales.
My story was I'm a speaker, Ilike creating content, I like
getting up on a stage, I likebeing with people one-on-one.
I don't like doing sales.
(07:03):
It's slimy.
I don't like pestering people.
People should just see thevalue that I have to offer.
They should just know.
And if they don't see it, thatautomatically means that they
don't want it.
We could even go further, wherethey're like when somebody says
no, it's not that they justdon't want my services, they
don't want me, they don't likeme.
So I mean I've had this storyforever and this story keeps me
from doing the amount of salesthat I should do to have the not
(07:25):
necessarily like the size ofthe business that I want, but to
have the amount of work that Ireally want.
And this stupid story keeps meplaying small, it keeps me
scared, it makes me feel sick tomy stomach of like it's sales.
It's not brain surgery, it'snot skydiving, it's you know.
(07:45):
So I have this, I had thishorrible story.
But we all have stories of like,well, I don't have time to
exercise and it's not important,and I don't have time, I don't
know what to do.
If I do have spare time, Ishould really be investing that
with my family.
Like that's very self-centeredto be taking time away from my
family when I'm already awayfrom them during the day.
(08:08):
You know stories on work-lifebalance like, yes, I absolutely
have to take this business tripand the next one and the next
one, and sorry, family, I can'tcheck in because I've got to go
to these dinners and I have todo all of these things.
And we've got stories aroundparenting.
We've, I mean, like, alcoholconsumption, like you name it.
(08:28):
We're story story storytellersso we can identify a
dysfunctional story again bywhen there's something that I
should be doing or I want to bedoing, but I'm not doing it.
I'm making excuses, I'mrationalizing, I'm minimizing,
I'm blaming.
There's a story there.
And the more I repeat thatstory silently to myself, the
(08:52):
more I speak it out loud, themore I'm reinforcing that neural
pathway in my brain, so thatjust becomes my automatic,
habitual way of thinking andbecause, like, that neural
pathway is there, it just reallyfeels like the truth, because,
like, well, I've convincedmyself, I've trained myself.
So I take people through aprocess of you have to create a
(09:16):
new and different story and thenyou have to start giving energy
to that new story, because nowyou're creating a new neural
pathway in the brain, but thatneural pathway requires recency
and frequency and repetition.
So I like to think of it thisway is I love muscles, so I go
(09:37):
into the gym.
I can't just lift once and thenjust be like bam, I'm jacked,
like no, it's repeatedinvestment.
And so the new story the more werepeat it, that neural pathway
gets stronger, faster, and whatwe're really doing is we're
redirecting our energy into thisnew story, which is cutting off
(09:57):
the energy to the old story.
So the new story, if repeatedenough, will become your
automatic way of thinking.
It will become your new truthand your new reality.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Well, Jenny, since you're working on your story,
I'm going to put you right onthe spot.
If our listeners want to workwith you, what are some of the
offerings that you have for them?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Oh, I have so many, okay.
So I talked about the impactthat cortisol has on your brain,
on your body, on everything.
I have a cortisol resetprotocol that is simple's easy,
it's doable and it's free.
It's a pdf download.
If you go to jennieevanscom,slash your cortisol reset, you
(10:42):
can download that baby for free.
There's an overview of againjust like the science of how
cortisol is really affecting youand some simple micro
strategies to change yourchemistry and optimize your
physiology and your resilience.
I love that.
Everyone can use that.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Exactly, exactly.
I love that, and what else?
And what else?
Oh, great question.
Yes, because that was a greatcomplimentary offer.
We're working on your storyright here.
Live on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
I am a global speaker now.
What I do is speaking forcorporations and organizations
all around.
Resiliency and performance.
That really is my bread andbutter.
It's what I love, love, lovedoing.
I also do one-on-one coachingwith people who whether, again,
(11:39):
you're just like, okay, I'm justlike completely burned out,
fried, somebody help me, or I'mfeeling stuck, I'm feeling
overwhelmed, I'm in a place oftransition and I need help
whether that's like jobtransition, relationships and
then kind of the most excitingthing that I'm doing right now.
I have a high-performance groupcoaching and mastermind for
(11:59):
women.
That's called Soul on Fire andit is the first Friday of every
month.
We get together for 90 minutes.
There is a monthly topic that Icoach on.
I give you tools and strategiesyou have an opportunity to
break out into.
You're also put into a smallermastermind group of other
fabulous women.
There's discussion on the topic.
We come back together.
(12:20):
I'll do some one-on-one hotseat coaching Every week.
You get a support email from methat goes deeper into that
month's topics, with tools,strategies.
There's an online communityresource library.
But it's really for women whoare willing to take themselves
to the next level, who want toinvest in themselves and their
(12:44):
happiness and their fulfillment.
I'm the person that wants tohave my cake and eat it too.
So all about how do you feelsuccessful in your professional
life without having to sacrificeyour personal life or your
relationships, or your happinessor your health.
I want to stop myself fromsaying this how do you have it
all?
But it's not about having itall.
It's about being clear on whatyour quote, unquote, all
(13:07):
actually is At this stage ofyour life.
What is really important to you?
What do you want?
And so many women don't know,because for so long they've
prioritized their kids, if theyhave them.
They've prioritized running ahousehold, taking care of
parents, managing the schedule,the house.
(13:28):
It's always about other people'sneeds and also because women
are so often giving andsupporting other people, I'm
always like who's supporting you?
Where are you getting yourenergy from?
So first Friday of every month,I'm there.
I'm like all right girl, herewe go.
I'm going to pump you up, I'mgoing to get you energized and
get you focused, and then we'regoing to get you out there and
life's going to smack you aroundand push you backwards.
(13:51):
But every week I'm like you'vegot this, you've got this.
And by the end of the monthyou're just like Jenny, save me.
Good news, it's first Friday.
Come on back, here we go yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
I love that.
I love that.
And you're so right, Likethere's many seasons of life
that we find ourselves in thatspot where it's the not having
fulfillment, the having lack ofpurpose and clarity on what is
our mission in life.
What are we supposed to do?
Just a few years ago, I wentthrough many of those changes
and found myself as an emptynester and I thought now what,
what's my purpose?
Like, if I'm not runningerrands and going back and forth
(14:21):
to sporting events and makingsure that everyone's where they
need to be?
What am I supposed to focus on?
And it hasn't been a quicklight switch fix.
It's been a beautiful discoveryjourney, but it's a great place
to be, and so I'm glad thatyou're holding that space for
women on Fridays first.
Fridays first.
Fridays fabulous first Fridays.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
And to your point, natalie, like this is a process
like my 10 beliefs.
I just didn't sit down one dayin 15 minutes and like bing bang
, boom, they're done.
This is a process that all ofus need to invest in on a daily
basis.
You know like we get it?
I got to brush my teeth everyday just because I did it
yesterday.
(14:59):
Like it's a sketch 24 hourslater.
You know you got to start over.
Like, do it again, I got to doit myself again today.
I got to move my body again.
Today I got to show up for workagain today.
That soul science work is alsothings that we need to be doing
on the daily and actuallyprobably even more important,
because when we've got thingsaligned in the soul science
(15:19):
aspect, like everything takescare of itself, where you know
what's important and you arebeing pulled to do those things,
instead of constantly trying toforce yourself of like, ah,
this I should be supposed to be.
The soul science aspect likejust gets rid of all of that.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
I love that piece.
And you said soul science isone of the three, so it's soul
science.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yeah, so it's body science.
So, again, like we got to getthe chemistry organized and
optimized, because we can't evenget to the brain if we don't
have that.
We've got the soul scienceaspect of it.
Then we've got the brainscience and for me, where I
choose to focus on the brainscience is the neuroplasticity
(16:01):
and the stories that we tellourselves, because if we can't
change our stories, we'll neverchange our lives.
You know, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
I love that Well, by the way, great at sales.
I'm glad that you were able toshare all of those offerings
with our listeners.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Well done, thank you.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Because, I have a whole new story about sales.
I don't do sales, I makeconnections and I create
relationships, which is one ofmy top beliefs.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
There you go.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
I love that.
I love it.
Jenny, you have a lot thatyou're working on right now.
What else, what's next Like?
What do you have on the horizon?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
The thing that you know, that's continuing to
fulfill your purpose and alignwith your beliefs and your
values.
Oh, natalie, I wish I knew.
And actually I have beenspending a lot of time and
energy on this.
Keynote speaking is alwaysgoing to be what I love.
I am trying to really grow Soulon Fire, but also big picture.
My wife and I are reallycontemplating kind of whether or
not we are going to stay in theUnited States right now, like
(17:02):
legally our marriage could beinvalidated, so that's like a
really big reason why maybe wejust need to go somewhere else
for just a little bit.
But what we've been playingaround with is what if, for just
a while, we love to travel?
Most countries will just giveyou a visa for three months.
So what if every three monthswe just go to a new country?
(17:23):
I love that.
We just kind of like hunker inthere, explore I can still work,
and then at three months we gosomewhere else.
And so I'm questioning.
I clearly have a story or two asto why we haven't done it that
I'm really working on, becauseI'm getting tripped up in just
the stupid details where they'rejust like they're stupid
(17:44):
details.
Six years ago we moved fromMinneapolis to San Diego.
No detail mattered, I wanted toleave so bad, like there was
nothing that was going to standin my way.
So I'm really working on whatis this fear?
And the fear is really a storythat I'm telling myself.
And what is it?
And oftentimes, like what wefirst think it is is not the
(18:06):
actual thing, because there'ssomething a little bit further
underneath that and that's alsousually not the thing, because
there's something about likethree, four, five layers down
where you're like, oh Yahtzee,now we found this trashy,
horrible story.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
She's been in there for a long time.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
Yeah, but our brain does such a great job of hiding
that Like we'll never need thatagain.
Let's not talk about it.
I love that.
Or the brain will say thisstory is airtight, man.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
It's the truth, it's reality.
It's real, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
And then you look at it and you're like how could any
sane person ever have believedthat crackpot?
Bunch of excuses, whining, youknow?
Yeah, I love the human brain.
I love it.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Yes well, I'll have to say we'll share with you.
I think like maybe one out ofevery three or one out of every
four guests that we have on thepodcast has recently or is
living as an expat in anotherpart of the country and another
part of the world.
I'm sorry.
Yep and so we would love tohear where you land, or where
(19:16):
you continue to hop and, yeah,move.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yeah, I guess I need to look through past guests or
if maybe you want to give me acouple of people that I could
talk to that will.
Honestly, I'd love to just hearfrom them Like here's what you
don't know, what you don't know,here's what you thought might
be a big obstacle.
That is totally not.
Yes, I'd love that, we wouldlove to.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah, I'll actually send you one of my coaching
clients who she moved fromOakland, california to Portugal
and took her husband and youngkids and I coached her for a
year of her building up to dothis and she's been there now
for quite a while.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
So Because Portugal's on the list?
Okay, that's awesome.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
I love that.
Okay, perfect, we're makingthat connection Awesome.
That was one of your beliefsright Connecting I know.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Connection is what makes life feel rich and
fulfilling.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
I love this.
I love this, jenny.
Is there anything that we havenot touched on, that you want to
leave our listeners with todayas we talk about this, because
you've given us so many tools tohelp in the space of resiliency
.
Is there anything else thatyou'd like to share?
Speaker 3 (20:16):
I'm going to go out on this note I say this lovingly
, but also seriously oflisteners.
Please do not mistake yourstubbornness for resilience Just
because you can make it throughthe day, just because maybe you
haven't had a breakdown whereyou cried or you've lost your
crap on somebody.
(20:37):
The chemistry of stress isstill showing up and it is
affecting your brain and it isaffecting your body.
So we talked about this likeyour baseline is your baseline.
That doesn't necessarily meanthat it's optimal.
And even if there's just onething that you make a micro
(20:58):
change on, continuous microchanges really lead over the
long run to more massive changethan trying to do like these
really extreme things thatreally aren't sustainable.
Ultimately it's just morestress.
So it's just these micro thingsthat we do on a daily basis
that really move the needle themost.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Beautiful, perfect way to end.
I think so as well.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, jenny.
This has been great.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
Yeah, Speaking of connection, I mean this was the
highlight of my day.
This has been a greatconversation and I really
appreciate you having me on yourshow and allowing me to share.
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Yeah, thank you for sharing and pouring into us and
our listeners.
This has been fabulous.
If there is something thatyou're working on in the future
or you're heading out and youwant to like chronicle your trip
around the world, feel free tocome back.
We'd love to have you on again.
I would love that Beautiful.
We will make sure that we putall of your contact information
in the show notes, Jenny, andwell not all of your contact
(21:57):
information.
We'll put your contactinformation in the show notes
and then for our listeners.
If you're wanting to learn moreabout what's happening in the
world of reignite resilience,head on over to reignit
resiliencecom.
Until next time.
We'll see you all soon hieveryone.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Thank you for joining us today on the reignite
resilience podcast.
We hope you had some ahamoments and learned a few new
real life ideas.
To fuel the flames of passion,please subscribe on your
favorite streaming platform,like or download your favorite
episodes and, of course, sharewith your friends and family.
We look forward to seeing youagain next time on Reignite
(22:32):
Resilience.
All of us reach a point in time where we are
depleted and need to somehowfind a way to reignite the fire
within.
But how do we spark that flame?
Welcome to Reignite Resilience,where we will venture into the
heart of the human spirit.
Resilience where we willventure into the heart of the
(00:27):
human spirit.
We'll discuss the art ofreigniting our passion and
strategies to stoke ourenthusiasm.
And now here are your hosts,natalie Davis and Pamela Kass.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
What happens when you have people that are almost
living at high cortisol all thetime and then they get to a
place where they hit, burnout orwhatever and they want to do
this reset, but then their bodyjust wants to go back to the
high cortisol because that'swhat it's known for so long.
It's like they're normal.
It's like no, no, no, I need tobe living in this space.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I love that you bring this up because for so many
people and I think especially Ifind that women struggle with
this a little bit more ofthey're so used to that
heightened high vibration statethat when they're not in it,
they're feeling like something'swrong.
I mean, what really this is isalmost like a stress addiction.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
That you're so used to a specific feeling, an
emotional state, a physicalstate, and when the cortisol is
gone and your body is in itsnatural state, you start feeling
like something's wrong, becausenow you have a new level of
homeostasis that you're not usedto, physically as well as
(01:47):
psychologically, and I thinkthat's where, like, a lot of the
psychological work starts tocome in, as, like, as we have
calmed down the cortisol.
Now what we need to do is weneed to start looking at a lot
of the neural pathways that havebeen carved into your brain,
and I like to just call theseneural pathways stories.
So what are your stories aroundproductivity?
(02:12):
What are your stories aroundyour sense of self-worth and the
amount of tasks that youaccomplish on a daily basis?
What are your stories aroundyour boundaries and what you say
yes to and what you say no to?
So often people come to mebecause I'm all about like.
(02:32):
When they hear like oh, she'salso like a performance coach
and I want to perform more, Iwant to be able to expand my
capacity so that I can meet allthe demands in my life.
What we really start to uncoveris oh, girl, the last thing
that you need is one more thing.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Is to do more.
Yes.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Stop doing things.
So once we start gettingclarity on values, beliefs,
purpose, you start reallygetting really clear on who and
what should be getting yourenergy, and who and what should
not, who and what's a priority,who and what's not.
We need to also dig into thesestories that you have around
(03:10):
productivity, success how arethey working for you?
And when you have clarity onyour values and beliefs and
purpose and mission, that's whenyou can start to rewrite some
very new powerful stories thatare really grounded in the truth
, are really aligned with yourvalues and beliefs and really
(03:31):
take you where you want to goand help you start making
different decisions.
You know so, pam, it's funnybecause of like, what was that
Dr Seuss book where there wasthat red spot and then it just
kept moving around and it keptgetting bigger of sometimes when
you think, okay, I've solved mycortisol problem, and then
you're like, great, now I haveanother problem because
(03:53):
psychologically I don't know howto relax, I don't know how to
operate at this and a half dayswhere it was no chores no tasks,
no phone, no talking to anybody, no anything.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
And Natalie knows it was so flipping hard because I'm
that person.
If I'm walking across the roomI'm going to do 15 things on the
way there, because it's soefficient to get all this stuff
done and to not be able to doanything for that many days not
look at my phone, not listen,not read, not write nothing.
I thought it was going to burstinto flames.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Pam, I just squirted cortisol just thinking about
that.
That sounds terrifying.
We didn't get to it.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Natalie knows this.
I was talking myself out ofdoing this, coming up with every
known excuse, and it wasprobably the best and most
powerful thing I've ever gonethrough in my life.
Good for you.
But then it ended at seveno'clock on a Sunday night.
What did I do?
I turned my phone on and abouthad a coronary because it was
like everything just went rightback.
But that's my baseline, so it'slike okay, now we're back into
(04:55):
crazy.
Yeah, wow, okay.
How do you help people identifythe stories?
So you've got all these neuralpathways, these stories that
we've created about activity andall the tasks and things that
we need to do.
How do you help peoplerecognize them?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Yeah, Well, first of all, our brain loves stories
because, when you think aboutjust the amount of information
that we're taking in on a dailybasis and decisions and
experiences, a way to juststreamline this is, our brain
will create stories to givemeaning and significance to our
(05:29):
life events.
So we just will create storiesthat help to explain how and why
things happen and how and whythings don't happen.
And some of the stories weretaught and given by our parents,
our teachers, religion, gender,you know, where in the world
did you grow up?
So it's the stories that youtell to yourself about yourself
(05:54):
and the experiences that youhave.
And most people have a lot ofreally great, powerful,
functional stories that takethem where they want to go.
But here's a great way tofigure out what about some of
those stories that are probablynot so great.
Any time there is a disconnectbetween wanting to do something,
(06:15):
or maybe knowing how to dosomething, yet we're not taking
action, like we're trying and wefail, or sneaky Pete's like
well, now is not the right timeto try, or we don't have time to
try right now.
So anytime there's a disconnect, there's a story that's
standing in your way.
So I'm going to share one withyou that I am actually in
process of rewriting Pretty muchmy whole entire life.
(06:37):
I have had a story that I don'teven like to say it out loud,
because we give life to whateverwe give our energy to, and I've
been working on it so hard.
But my old story was I suck atsales, I suck at sales.
My story was I'm a speaker, Ilike creating content, I like
getting up on a stage, I likebeing with people one-on-one.
I don't like doing sales.
(07:03):
It's slimy.
I don't like pestering people.
People should just see thevalue that I have to offer.
They should just know.
And if they don't see it, thatautomatically means that they
don't want it.
We could even go further, wherethey're like when somebody says
no, it's not that they justdon't want my services, they
don't want me, they don't likeme.
So I mean I've had this storyforever and this story keeps me
from doing the amount of salesthat I should do to have the not
(07:25):
necessarily like the size ofthe business that I want, but to
have the amount of work that Ireally want.
And this stupid story keeps meplaying small, it keeps me
scared, it makes me feel sick tomy stomach of like it's sales.
It's not brain surgery, it'snot skydiving, it's you know.
(07:45):
So I have this, I had thishorrible story.
But we all have stories of like,well, I don't have time to
exercise and it's not important,and I don't have time, I don't
know what to do.
If I do have spare time, Ishould really be investing that
with my family.
Like that's very self-centeredto be taking time away from my
family when I'm already awayfrom them during the day.
(08:08):
You know stories on work-lifebalance like, yes, I absolutely
have to take this business tripand the next one and the next
one, and sorry, family, I can'tcheck in because I've got to go
to these dinners and I have todo all of these things.
And we've got stories aroundparenting.
We've, I mean, like, alcoholconsumption, like you name it.
(08:28):
We're story story storytellersso we can identify a
dysfunctional story again bywhen there's something that I
should be doing or I want to bedoing, but I'm not doing it.
I'm making excuses, I'mrationalizing, I'm minimizing,
I'm blaming.
There's a story there.
And the more I repeat thatstory silently to myself, the
(08:52):
more I speak it out loud, themore I'm reinforcing that neural
pathway in my brain, so thatjust becomes my automatic,
habitual way of thinking andbecause, like, that neural
pathway is there, it just reallyfeels like the truth, because,
like, well, I've convincedmyself, I've trained myself.
So I take people through aprocess of you have to create a
(09:16):
new and different story and thenyou have to start giving energy
to that new story, because nowyou're creating a new neural
pathway in the brain, but thatneural pathway requires recency
and frequency and repetition.
So I like to think of it thisway is I love muscles, so I go
(09:37):
into the gym.
I can't just lift once and thenjust be like bam, I'm jacked,
like no, it's repeatedinvestment.
And so the new story the more werepeat it, that neural pathway
gets stronger, faster, and whatwe're really doing is we're
redirecting our energy into thisnew story, which is cutting off
(09:57):
the energy to the old story.
So the new story, if repeatedenough, will become your
automatic way of thinking.
It will become your new truthand your new reality.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Well, Jenny, since you're working on your story,
I'm going to put you right onthe spot.
If our listeners want to workwith you, what are some of the
offerings that you have for them?
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Oh, I have so many, okay.
So I talked about the impactthat cortisol has on your brain,
on your body, on everything.
I have a cortisol resetprotocol that is simple's easy,
it's doable and it's free.
It's a pdf download.
If you go to jennieevanscom,slash your cortisol reset, you
(10:42):
can download that baby for free.
There's an overview of againjust like the science of how
cortisol is really affecting youand some simple micro
strategies to change yourchemistry and optimize your
physiology and your resilience.
I love that.
Everyone can use that.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Exactly, exactly.
I love that, and what else?
And what else?
Oh, great question.
Yes, because that was a greatcomplimentary offer.
We're working on your storyright here.
Live on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
I am a global speaker now.
What I do is speaking forcorporations and organizations
all around.
Resiliency and performance.
That really is my bread andbutter.
It's what I love, love, lovedoing.
I also do one-on-one coachingwith people who whether, again,
(11:39):
you're just like, okay, I'm justlike completely burned out,
fried, somebody help me, or I'mfeeling stuck, I'm feeling
overwhelmed, I'm in a place oftransition and I need help
whether that's like jobtransition, relationships and
then kind of the most excitingthing that I'm doing right now.
I have a high-performance groupcoaching and mastermind for
(11:59):
women.
That's called Soul on Fire andit is the first Friday of every
month.
We get together for 90 minutes.
There is a monthly topic that Icoach on.
I give you tools and strategiesyou have an opportunity to
break out into.
You're also put into a smallermastermind group of other
fabulous women.
There's discussion on the topic.
We come back together.
(12:20):
I'll do some one-on-one hotseat coaching Every week.
You get a support email from methat goes deeper into that
month's topics, with tools,strategies.
There's an online communityresource library.
But it's really for women whoare willing to take themselves
to the next level, who want toinvest in themselves and their
(12:44):
happiness and their fulfillment.
I'm the person that wants tohave my cake and eat it too.
So all about how do you feelsuccessful in your professional
life without having to sacrificeyour personal life or your
relationships, or your happinessor your health.
I want to stop myself fromsaying this how do you have it
all?
But it's not about having itall.
It's about being clear on whatyour quote, unquote, all
(13:07):
actually is At this stage ofyour life.
What is really important to you?
What do you want?
And so many women don't know,because for so long they've
prioritized their kids, if theyhave them.
They've prioritized running ahousehold, taking care of
parents, managing the schedule,the house.
(13:28):
It's always about other people'sneeds and also because women
are so often giving andsupporting other people, I'm
always like who's supporting you?
Where are you getting yourenergy from?
So first Friday of every month,I'm there.
I'm like all right girl, herewe go.
I'm going to pump you up, I'mgoing to get you energized and
get you focused, and then we'regoing to get you out there and
life's going to smack you aroundand push you backwards.
(13:51):
But every week I'm like you'vegot this, you've got this.
And by the end of the monthyou're just like Jenny, save me.
Good news, it's first Friday.
Come on back, here we go yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
I love that.
I love that.
And you're so right, Likethere's many seasons of life
that we find ourselves in thatspot where it's the not having
fulfillment, the having lack ofpurpose and clarity on what is
our mission in life.
What are we supposed to do?
Just a few years ago, I wentthrough many of those changes
and found myself as an emptynester and I thought now what,
what's my purpose?
Like, if I'm not runningerrands and going back and forth
(14:21):
to sporting events and makingsure that everyone's where they
need to be?
What am I supposed to focus on?
And it hasn't been a quicklight switch fix.
It's been a beautiful discoveryjourney, but it's a great place
to be, and so I'm glad thatyou're holding that space for
women on Fridays first.
Fridays first.
Fridays fabulous first Fridays.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
And to your point, natalie, like this is a process
like my 10 beliefs.
I just didn't sit down one dayin 15 minutes and like bing bang
, boom, they're done.
This is a process that all ofus need to invest in on a daily
basis.
You know like we get it?
I got to brush my teeth everyday just because I did it
yesterday.
(14:59):
Like it's a sketch 24 hourslater.
You know you got to start over.
Like, do it again, I got to doit myself again today.
I got to move my body again.
Today I got to show up for workagain today.
That soul science work is alsothings that we need to be doing
on the daily and actuallyprobably even more important,
because when we've got thingsaligned in the soul science
(15:19):
aspect, like everything takescare of itself, where you know
what's important and you arebeing pulled to do those things,
instead of constantly trying toforce yourself of like, ah,
this I should be supposed to be.
The soul science aspect likejust gets rid of all of that.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
I love that piece.
And you said soul science isone of the three, so it's soul
science.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yeah, so it's body science.
So, again, like we got to getthe chemistry organized and
optimized, because we can't evenget to the brain if we don't
have that.
We've got the soul scienceaspect of it.
Then we've got the brainscience and for me, where I
choose to focus on the brainscience is the neuroplasticity
(16:01):
and the stories that we tellourselves, because if we can't
change our stories, we'll neverchange our lives.
You know, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
I love that Well, by the way, great at sales.
I'm glad that you were able toshare all of those offerings
with our listeners.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Well done, thank you.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Because, I have a whole new story about sales.
I don't do sales, I makeconnections and I create
relationships, which is one ofmy top beliefs.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
There you go.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
I love that.
I love it.
Jenny, you have a lot thatyou're working on right now.
What else, what's next Like?
What do you have on the horizon?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
The thing that you know, that's continuing to
fulfill your purpose and alignwith your beliefs and your
values.
Oh, natalie, I wish I knew.
And actually I have beenspending a lot of time and
energy on this.
Keynote speaking is alwaysgoing to be what I love.
I am trying to really grow Soulon Fire, but also big picture.
My wife and I are reallycontemplating kind of whether or
not we are going to stay in theUnited States right now, like
(17:02):
legally our marriage could beinvalidated, so that's like a
really big reason why maybe wejust need to go somewhere else
for just a little bit.
But what we've been playingaround with is what if, for just
a while, we love to travel?
Most countries will just giveyou a visa for three months.
So what if every three monthswe just go to a new country?
(17:23):
I love that.
We just kind of like hunker inthere, explore I can still work,
and then at three months we gosomewhere else.
And so I'm questioning.
I clearly have a story or two asto why we haven't done it that
I'm really working on, becauseI'm getting tripped up in just
the stupid details where they'rejust like they're stupid
(17:44):
details.
Six years ago we moved fromMinneapolis to San Diego.
No detail mattered, I wanted toleave so bad, like there was
nothing that was going to standin my way.
So I'm really working on whatis this fear?
And the fear is really a storythat I'm telling myself.
And what is it?
And oftentimes, like what wefirst think it is is not the
(18:06):
actual thing, because there'ssomething a little bit further
underneath that and that's alsousually not the thing, because
there's something about likethree, four, five layers down
where you're like, oh Yahtzee,now we found this trashy,
horrible story.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
She's been in there for a long time.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
Yeah, but our brain does such a great job of hiding
that Like we'll never need thatagain.
Let's not talk about it.
I love that.
Or the brain will say thisstory is airtight, man.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
It's the truth, it's reality.
It's real, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
And then you look at it and you're like how could any
sane person ever have believedthat crackpot?
Bunch of excuses, whining, youknow?
Yeah, I love the human brain.
I love it.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Yes well, I'll have to say we'll share with you.
I think like maybe one out ofevery three or one out of every
four guests that we have on thepodcast has recently or is
living as an expat in anotherpart of the country and another
part of the world.
I'm sorry.
Yep and so we would love tohear where you land, or where
(19:16):
you continue to hop and, yeah,move.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yeah, I guess I need to look through past guests or
if maybe you want to give me acouple of people that I could
talk to that will.
Honestly, I'd love to just hearfrom them Like here's what you
don't know, what you don't know,here's what you thought might
be a big obstacle.
That is totally not.
Yes, I'd love that, we wouldlove to.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah, I'll actually send you one of my coaching
clients who she moved fromOakland, california to Portugal
and took her husband and youngkids and I coached her for a
year of her building up to dothis and she's been there now
for quite a while.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
So Because Portugal's on the list?
Okay, that's awesome.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
I love that.
Okay, perfect, we're makingthat connection Awesome.
That was one of your beliefsright Connecting I know.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Connection is what makes life feel rich and
fulfilling.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
I love this.
I love this, jenny.
Is there anything that we havenot touched on, that you want to
leave our listeners with todayas we talk about this, because
you've given us so many tools tohelp in the space of resiliency
.
Is there anything else thatyou'd like to share?
Speaker 3 (20:16):
I'm going to go out on this note I say this lovingly
, but also seriously oflisteners.
Please do not mistake yourstubbornness for resilience Just
because you can make it throughthe day, just because maybe you
haven't had a breakdown whereyou cried or you've lost your
crap on somebody.
(20:37):
The chemistry of stress isstill showing up and it is
affecting your brain and it isaffecting your body.
So we talked about this likeyour baseline is your baseline.
That doesn't necessarily meanthat it's optimal.
And even if there's just onething that you make a micro
(20:58):
change on, continuous microchanges really lead over the
long run to more massive changethan trying to do like these
really extreme things thatreally aren't sustainable.
Ultimately it's just morestress.
So it's just these micro thingsthat we do on a daily basis
that really move the needle themost.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Beautiful, perfect way to end.
I think so as well.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, jenny.
This has been great.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
Yeah, Speaking of connection, I mean this was the
highlight of my day.
This has been a greatconversation and I really
appreciate you having me on yourshow and allowing me to share.
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Yeah, thank you for sharing and pouring into us and
our listeners.
This has been fabulous.
If there is something thatyou're working on in the future
or you're heading out and youwant to like chronicle your trip
around the world, feel free tocome back.
We'd love to have you on again.
I would love that Beautiful.
We will make sure that we putall of your contact information
in the show notes, Jenny, andwell not all of your contact
(21:57):
information.
We'll put your contactinformation in the show notes
and then for our listeners.
If you're wanting to learn moreabout what's happening in the
world of reignite resilience,head on over to reignit
resiliencecom.
Until next time.
We'll see you all soon hieveryone.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Thank you for joining us today on the reignite
resilience podcast.
We hope you had some ahamoments and learned a few new
real life ideas.
To fuel the flames of passion,please subscribe on your
favorite streaming platform,like or download your favorite
episodes and, of course, sharewith your friends and family.
We look forward to seeing youagain next time on Reignite
(22:32):
Resilience.
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