All Episodes

August 18, 2025 • 25 mins

Send us a text

From a turbulent childhood with an alcoholic father to becoming a successful leader and grandmother of 17, Marilyn Dogan's life epitomizes resilience in its purest form. Her candid conversation with hosts Natalie and Pamela reveals how our darkest moments can become the foundation for extraordinary growth.

Marilyn's story begins at age 16 when she found herself pregnant and faced the heart-wrenching decision to give her baby up for adoption. This choice set her on a path of independence as she left home at 17 to escape dysfunction, determined to create a different life despite seemingly insurmountable obstacles. With unflinching honesty, she reveals how unresolved trauma led her to unconsciously replicate unhealthy patterns; including entering an abusive marriage similar to her parents' relationship.

The conversation takes a powerful turn as Marilyn shares her transformation through the Landmark Forum, which helped her process her past and envision a different future. This became the catalyst for remarkable achievements: becoming the first Black woman to attend carpentry school in Houston, rising to vice president of operations in her father's business, and eventually serving as an executive director at the YMCA where she could impact young lives facing circumstances similar to her own past struggles.

What makes Marilyn's journey so compelling is how she transformed adversity into purpose. "A lot of times the adversities in our life fuel what God has in store for us later down the road," she reflects. Now with three homes, 17 grandchildren, and six great-grandchildren, her life stands as testament to the power of acknowledging trauma without letting it define you.

Whether you're facing your own challenges or supporting someone through theirs, this conversation offers profound wisdom about breaking generational patterns and creating a life of meaning despite difficult beginnings. As Marilyn puts it, "God takes our mistakes and makes them into masterpieces." Subscribe now to hear more stories that will reignite your own resilience in the face of life's challenges.

Subscribe to The Reignite Resilience Thinkletter

Support the show

Subscribe to Our Weekly ThinkLetter
https://reigniteresilience.com/Thinkletter/

Facebook
Instagram

Magical Mornings Journal

Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The co-hosts of this podcast are not medical professionals. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. Reliance on any information provided by the podcast hosts or guests is solely at your own risk.

Pamela Cass is a licensed broker with Kentwood Real Estate
Natalie Davis is a licensed broker with Keller Williams Realty Downtown, LLC

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Announcer/Intro/Outro (00:06):
All of us reach a point in time where we
are depleted and need to somehowfind a way to reignite the fire
within.
But how do we spark that flame?
Welcome to Reignite Resilience,where we will venture into the
heart of the human spirit.
Resilience where we willventure into the heart of the

(00:27):
human spirit.
We'll discuss the art ofreigniting our passion and
strategies to stoke ourenthusiasm.
And now here are your hosts,natalie Davis and Pamela Cass.

Natalie Davis (00:41):
Welcome back to another episode of Reignite
Resilience.
I am your co-host, natalieDavis, and I am so excited to be
back with you all.
And, of course, joining us isyour co-host, pam Kass.
Hello Pam, how are you today?

Pamela Cass (00:54):
I am fantastic it's Friday which we haven't done a
recording on a Friday in a while.
So end of the week and thestart of a very challenging
weekend for me which I amembracing and prepping for.

Natalie Davis (01:07):
Well, you can't speak that over yourself.
You got to kind of embrace it alittle bit different.
It's a different weekend.
Tell our listeners what you'redoing this weekend.

Pamela Cass (01:16):
I am going to be doing a silent retreat and so
from three o'clock today until 7o'clock on Sunday, I cannot
have any technology, no internet.
I cannot do any chores, it'sjust sitting in silence and
meditation.
I might burst into flames.
I don't know, I'm literallylike I have never been in a

(01:38):
space where I just sat.
Still, I'm always doingsomething, always doing
something.
So it's going to be challengingand I'm looking forward to
seeing what revelations happen.

Natalie Davis (01:49):
Oh, I'm sure you're going to get a ton of
downloads, and here's the greatpart for our listeners.
We're recording following theretreat as well, a few days
after, yes, so we'll give hersome time to go through the
experience, download anddecompress and then come back
and share.
But good on you, so it's notgoing to be a challenging
weekend.
It's a different structure.

Pamela Cass (02:10):
It's going to be something I've never done, ever
in my life Exactly, other thanwhen I'm sleeping, which I don't
think that counts.

Natalie Davis (02:18):
No, it does not count.
No, it doesn't count.
No, I can't wait to dive intoit and we may schedule a whole
different recording time so thatwe can talk about your
experience and everything thatyou go through.

Pamela Cass (02:27):
I think that might not be a bad idea because in
today's world, where we arebombarded constantly with
technology and notifications andwe're always busy doing stuff
constantly, I think it might besomething that people are
interested in, and I don't thinkyou have to do it through a
company like I'm doing itthrough.
I think you could just do thison your own, exactly.

Natalie Davis (02:49):
Exactly.
I feel like the notificationspiece would be the part that I
would embrace and enjoy.
And people that know me or havesat in on sessions I am a
non-notification person.
I don't usually havenotifications on my devices One,
because it gives me a littlebit of anxiety.
But our company utilizes Slackfor internal communication and I
just downloaded that to mycomputer today.

(03:10):
The dings that were going offand I'm like, oh, this is not
going to work for me.
This is not.
Yes, I'm familiar with Slack,yes, yes, oh, my gosh.
Well, we have an amazing guest,a special guest, that's joining
us today.
So, pam, why don't you tell ourlisteners who's joining us, and
then we will dive in tolearning more about their story?

Pamela Cass (03:32):
I love it.
So today we have somebody thatNatalie knows blast from her
past.
So we have Marilyn Dogen.
I hope I said that right.
She has a diverse careerspanning the federal government
and small business sectors.
In 2024, she completed theExcellence in Government

(03:52):
Fellowship and currentlysupervises 250 construction
analysts as a supervisor andproduction manager for the
Damage Verification Center.
Marilyn has a history ofleadership, including serving as
officer in charge during theHurricane Irma and Maria
recovery efforts in the USVirgin Islands.

(04:14):
She also chairs the SBA'sWomen's Employee Resource Group.
Previously, she served as anexecutive director and program
director for the YMCA, createdprograms like Smooth Talkers and
represented the YMCA of the USAin London.
Marilyn has also worked as vicepresident of operations for a

(04:36):
family-owned food truck business.
She holds a degree from TexasSouthern University, where she
competed in debate.
In her personal life, marilyncherishes her large family that
consists of four children, 17grandchildren and six
great-grandchildren.
She enjoys writing poetry andserving as a life coach.

(04:57):
Wow, that's a lot, that'sincredible.
Welcome.
We are so honored to have you.
I'm honored to be here.

Natalie Davis (05:04):
Thank you, thank you.
So just for our listeners, togive everyone context and
background.
So, marilyn, I think it's been30 years now that I've known you
, so it's hard to even say thatMaybe longer right or longer.
Exactly so.
One of my high school bestfriends you are the mother of,
and so we were actuallyreconnected through Chris.

(05:27):
He connected with me and saidyou know, I think my mom's story
would be a great story becausethere are people that are in a
season of life that areexperiencing similar changes and
trying to navigate what thenext season slash chapter of
life looks like.
And then I saw your story and Ithought Marilyn has a bigger
story to share.
Pam shared huge accomplishmentsthat you've done from a

(05:49):
professional standpoint, butyou've also gone through quite a
journey from a personalstandpoint.
But first of all, before wedive into it, welcome to the
show.

Marilyn Dogan (05:57):
Thank you, it's my honor to be here.
And, pamela, thank you so muchfor that wonderful, absolutely
wonderful introduction.
I do have to say I recentlyretired too, and I'm
transitioning into a new line ofwork.

Pamela Cass (06:13):
Wow, we can't wait to hear about it.
Yes, ma'am.

Natalie Davis (06:16):
I definitely want to hear about that piece.
I want to hear about that piece.
But before we dive into theprofessional piece, marilyn, I'd
love to start on the personalside, because your story you
started out leaving home at ayoung age, very young.
Yes, tell us a little bit aboutthat journey.

Marilyn Dogan (06:34):
You know a lot of families, where you end up is
not really where you began.
So my family structure, youknow, early on was very
dysfunctional.
I had a father that wasalcoholic and an abuser and in
any way that you would say thisabuse, that abuse, he pretty
much covered all of it.

(06:54):
So my mother divorced him withfive children in tow, and so she
had to figure it out real quickhow to make things happen.
And so I would say that mymother was a good example of a
resilient woman, as well as mygrandmother, because out of that
divorce she moved back toLouisiana, built a brand new

(07:14):
home, became a supervisor forthe telephone company and began
the process of raising us up.
But I'm going to tell you, ifyou don't get help for your
scars early on, you're going tofind yourself in a position
where, no matter how greatthings are working out, you'll
find a way to sabotage that, ormaybe not even say sabotage it,

(07:36):
but go back to that place ofdysfunction again.
And so by the time I was 16, Iwas pregnant and I was like, oh
my goodness, you know how didthis happen?
You know, thinking that I wasdoing the things that you know
were precautionary, but at myyoung age I really should not
have even been engaging in thosetype of activities where I

(07:59):
became pregnant.
But at 16, I became pregnant.
My mother felt the bestsolution for me would be to go
and stay at an unwed mother'shome and give the baby up for
adoption.
She didn't want to have theresponsibility.
I mean, she raised five.
You know and I'm not here we'rebringing more answers Like
that's not going to work for me.

(08:19):
So by this time my father becamesober, went to Alcoholics
Anonymous, redid his life andhe's like listen, I want to be
active in you guys' life.
I'm sorry for the person I wasbefore.
Let's get back together andmake it work.
And I was like mom, don't dothat.
That ain't the answer.
He might not drink, but he'sstill the same guy.

(08:41):
I mean, he was a cheater.
He was way more than just don'tgo back to him.
So she was like well, maybe.
And so he was living inCalifornia.
He came down he was like oh myGod, you're so cute pregnant.
You look like your mom whenshe's pregnant with you and
can't wait for you guys to alljoin me in California.
When he picks up my siblings,brings them to California, me

(09:02):
and my mom stay back.
I give the baby up for adoption.
Fly in the LAX, he picks us upand he's like where's the baby?
And I was like gave the baby upfor adoption.
You gave the baby up.
I'm thinking my parents aretouching base.
But I should have known they'vebeen divorced for all these
years of like they didn'tcommunicate, make them surly.
So it became for me anunworkable situation.

(09:24):
Every time I would try to doanything.
Oh, you're the person that gaveyour kid right.
What do you mean?
You want to participate in this?
So I just decided.
I told him I was like would youmind if I take the things that
you bought?
Because I'm leaving, I'm notgoing to live my life and you
constantly telling me mymistakes.
I have to have a new beginning.
So I'm leaving.

(09:45):
I'm leaving not this Friday,but next.
Would you mind if I take theclothes?
Oh, you can take all your stuff.
I was like perfect, I'm packingup all my stuff at the front
door, I'm still going to schooland stuff.
And my sister's like what areyou doing?
I was like y'all could stay inthis dysfunction.
I think it's got to besomething.

(10:05):
And so I had made friends with ayoung couple and I ended up
moving in with them.
And then I got connected withanother family that kind of
befriended me.
They weren't good people, butfor me they were good enough and
I ended up moving in with them.
And then my dad gets out theservice.
He wants me to come back homeand I'm like I'm not coming back

(10:26):
home, you know.
And he goes to the people.
He says I'm going to call theFBI and say you kidnapped my
daughter if you don't send herback immediately and these guys
are street pharmacists, if youknow what I mean.
And they were like girl, yougot to go your dad's about to
put the heat on us.
You got to go and I said, okay,I'll leave, I'll leave.

(10:48):
This Friday they went out for afamily reunion and I didn't go
back.
I broke into their house.
I got arrested by the police.
I was pregnant again and I waslike, I mean, my goodness, I
just keep making these mistakes.
And so they took me to SanDiego and they said what's your
name?
I said I can't remember my namebecause now I'm 70.

(11:10):
And in a few months I'm aboutto be 18.
They were like you don't knowyour name.
I was like absolutely, I haveamnesia, I don't know your name.
I was like, absolutely, I haveamnesia, I don't know my name.
I said, but I think I turned 18in December.
I said that's all I remember.
They was like fine, anonymous,put her in the room and it was a
clean facility and I was like Ican do this for four months and

(11:33):
then they have to let me out.
Let me out.
So in them, stand there firstday.
We get out and I make herfriend and this girl's like, oh,
you're so cute.
I was like, thank you, you'recute too.
And then we become friends andI was like girl, what's going on
?
They had a guy that was hittinghis head against the pole.
I was like what's wrong withhim?
She was like, bro, he killedhis whole fam.
What?
She was like yeah, he was 13.
He stabbed his mama.

(11:54):
I was like, oh, my goodness,then we go a little bit further.
She's like you see that guy, heburned his grandmother while
she was sleeping.
So then I quickly realizedthese were real criminals and
certainly no place for me.
So when we came in from being inthe yard, I was like I remember
my name.
My name is Marilyn Stampe andthis is my parents.

(12:17):
I was like, as a matter of fact, my aunt is in Compton.
She's a nun.
Call her, she will come and getme.
I was like I don't want to behere anymore.
Sister Agnes were coming.
I was like could you please getme out of here, because my

(12:39):
parents are on their way backhome to Louisiana to start the
family business.
I need to be out of here.
She was like oh no, we don'ttake.
In a way, we're teenagers atthe convent.
She was like you'll just haveto wait until your parents get
in touch with you.
I was like, oh no, so sheleaves, but maybe in 24 hours
they contact my grandmother.
My grandmother buys me a busticket and they call me on the

(13:02):
PA system.
It's like Marilyn Dogen, cometo the front desk, you are free
to go.
So I was shooting a game ofpool at the time and it was like
they're calling you and I waslike, well, I'm going to finish
my game before I go, I'm notcoming back.
Anyways, I ended up catchingthe bus to Louisiana.
Our family do start thisbusiness.

(13:22):
It's with trucking shop andit's a fleet of trucks, food
trucks.
This was the first time thattype of industry actually hit
the coast of Louisiana.
My dad's business became sosuccessful that the governor
actually donated a day for him.
Governor Trent, at the time wehad a multi-million dollar

(13:44):
business, was really doing great, but my dad had not changed his
stripes.
I mean, he wasn't drinking, buthe was still kind of cruel.
You know, and you know, just tobe fair to him his father was
killed when he was three yearsold in front of him.
So you know, when you havetrauma, as I'm saying, when you
have trauma, you have to get itaddressed.

(14:05):
So my turning point for me iswhen I went to what's called the
Landmark Forum.
I don't know if you guys everheard of that.
But the Landmark Forum helpsyou to take your life as a
filing cabinet and take thethings that need to be in your
future and helps you to put itout of the takes the moment you

(14:26):
can create a future that wouldlight you up and just make you
understand what you were reallyput here for.
It was some time before I hadthat revelation, so you know,

(14:47):
for a good while there I wasreally like just making bad
decisions and ended up with ahusband that was abusive to me.
Why?
Because my father was abusiveand what you'll notice in a lot
of women, or even maybe men toowhatever your original
relationship is with yourparents or whoever raised you,
you'll notice that you'll startreplicating that, even if it's a

(15:11):
messed up situation, likeyou'll say to yourself well, why
would you think that?
Because it's subliminal, it'slike it fuels you, but it fuels
you in the wrong way.
So I was in a relationship thatI said I never would be in a
relationship with a man that hitme.
Well, I ended up with a guythat now only he kicked me in my
stomach when I was pregnantwith my son, so I had twins and

(15:35):
then I got pregnant again for myson Chris, and almost had a
miscarriage.
Go to the doctor and he says,oh, you're threatening a
miscarriage.
I see you already have twins athome.
Would you like to abort thepregnancy?
I was like, did my husband callyou?
I was like I want my baby.
And when I tell you I could notpicture my life without my son.

(15:56):
But again I said I have to getmy life together because I have
three other people depending onme Besides that, I'm going to
reunite with my son that I gaveaway for adoption.
So I strike out by myself.
I divorced.
My loser husband, who also wasan alcoholic, went to carpentry

(16:17):
school.
I was the first Black woman toattend carpentry school in
Houston, texas, did that for anumber of years.
My dad became ill.
I went back and became vicepresident of operations for his
business.
We ended up selling thebusiness, but that experience
gave me great management skills,like how do you negotiate

(16:38):
contracts, how do you motivateemployees.
You know we have a fleet oftrucks.
You know being dependable wassomething that you know you
could not do that.
Once you miss your route, youmiss your sales.
Once you miss your sales, youmiss your business.
So you know it gave me all ofthese tools that when I finally
became an employee for the SmallBusiness Administration and the

(17:01):
YMCA, see, I already had themanagement skills.
So a lot of times theadversities in our life fuels
what God has in store for uslater down the road.
Do you see it at the times?
Certainly not, but I have 17grandchildren.
Every mistake they make Iunderstand, like there's nothing

(17:23):
that they could do, that I'd belike you did what?
Because I did it all.
I did it all.
I recovered.
I still had a bright future Atthis time in my life.
I have three homes.
I have a house in Atlanta I'mat my house right now in Port
Arthur getting my daughtersituated and I have a beautiful

(17:47):
home in Arlington, texas, with aswimming pool in the back yard.
I have a little football forthe kids to come and play.
Now, was that a predictableresult for me when I was 16, 17,
by myself locked up?
No, that was not predictablefor me.
And then, after that, what waspredictable?
I never thought that I would bean executive director of a YMCA
and charting the future ofyoung kids that had similar

(18:09):
backgrounds to me.
I was the program director ofthe YMCA and third ward.
I served a very underprivilegedgroup.
You know the guy that waskilled, floyd the policeman.
He came to my wife.
I gave him a scholarship so hecould play basketball.
So God has provided me lots ofopportunities to deposit into

(18:33):
young people and I just don'ttake it lightly.
I just think that what needs tohappen when a person has a
trauma?
They have to number one, notpretend it didn't happen.
It did happen.
So what it happened, what areyou going to do with that story?
What are you going to do withthat experience?
Are you going to bow on thevine?
Are you going to take that andsay, what else can I do For me?

(18:56):
I find myself being a verycompassionate person, so I use
my previous experience as anopportunity to get people.
You know, like there's like I'mso ashamed, I'm so ashamed.
What happened?
I had my first baby when I was17.
I said I had mine when I was 16.
I was like girl when I was.
By the time I was 17, I washaving twins by the time I was

(19:17):
20, I had four kids and didn'tknow what one of them was.
So listen, god takes ourmistakes and makes it into a
masterpiece.
You know, my greatest prayer wasthat I could reunite with my
son that I gave away.
And when you give a kid up foradoption, the era that I gave my
kid, you sign away, your parole, right, and there is no coming

(19:39):
back.
No, come back.
I said, oh, I think I made amistake.
And could I talk to the parents, or could I?
No, everything is still likeyear is SOS.
So I was like Tom, you know howcan I do this?
I have these other three.
I had Chantel, danelle and myson, chris, but it was still
like a yearning inside of mewhat happened to this boy.

(20:02):
So I went back to CatholicSocial Services and I tried to
say anything negative about them, but they were the ones that
handled the adoption.
And I went back and I said,listen, I gave a kid away years
ago.
You guys handled it.
Could you give me someinformation about this?
Like, where is he?
They was like no, we can't tell.
You guys handled it.
Could you give me someinformation about this?

(20:22):
Like, where is he?
They was like no, we can't tellyou where he is.
I said, well, could you reachout to the adoptive parents and
see if they would be amenable tothat?
They said, no, we don't do that, but we can give you some
background information.
We have a file.
I said, okay, that works for me.
So they pull up the file.
They said, oh, he was adoptedby parents that really wanted a
son.
I was like, really.

(20:43):
They said, yeah, they had adaughter and the woman had three
miscarriages.
I was like, wow, she said, andthey had been praying and
praying for a son.
And when they adopted your son,they adopted a little girl so
he would have a playmate or asibling to grow up with.
I was like that was sothoughtful, you know.
And so their older daughter was16 years older than my son, so

(21:09):
the age gap made her veryinfluential.
Also in his life, the parentswere both educators One was a
principal, one was a teacher andyou know, they said he's having
a great life.
So that satisfied me for acouple of years.
But then I was like, but I justwould like to see a picture.
What's so hard?

(21:29):
Can I see a picture?
So I go back and ask for moreinformation.
And by this time I said, ifthey don't give me the
information, I'm going to dolike Charlie's Ages.
I don't know if you rememberthat show where they.
They would do these littlemissions and breaking the
people's houses and stuff.
And I told my brother.
I said, listen, if they don'tgive me the information, we

(21:51):
gonna break and I'm gonna openout when I go and then we'll
just like come in through theair conditioner vent or
something I was like, and we'llget the information, no worries.
I go back and I meet with thelady and I said ma'am, I really
want to know what happened to myson.
I know you gave me somebackground information, but I
really need a little bit more.

(22:11):
She says, ma'am, by law I can'ttell you anything.
I'm just so sorry.
I was like, wow.
So then, maybe two secondslater, somebody knocks at her
door and they said we need tosee you immediately.
So she leaves and leaves thefile on her desk.
So then I hurry up, I turn thefile around A perfect Charlie's

(22:33):
Angel moment.
Totally.
I turn around the file it saysLeroy Aaron and I turn the file
back and then she comes back andI was like you know what?
I don't want to pretend tocompromise the position.
Thank you so much.
So I go back to the unwedmother's home and I said Miss
Esprit, can you give me anyinformation about my child?

(22:53):
She says forget, you ever had achild.
She was like move on, have morekids and just pull yourself up
and forget about that.
She said nice, people in NewOrleans adopted your son and my
understanding is that he's doinggreat.
So I said, okay, thank you.
I immediately went home, calledinformation for Leroy Aaron in

(23:14):
New Orleans and they said wedon't have a Leroy Aaron, but we
have one Aaron.
I was like, oh, give me thatnumber.
So dial the number.
It's like hello, may I speak toLeroy Aaron?
But we have one Aaron.
I was like, oh, give me thatnumber, so dial the number.
It's like hello, may I speak toLeroy Aaron?
And he was like ain't no LeroyAaron here, click.
And I was like God, I've beenpraying to you for years to get
a final breakthrough and when Iget a breakthrough the man hangs

(23:37):
up in my face.
Ms Esprit is not going to giveme more information.
The people at Catholic SocialServices pretty much told me
it's a dead end.

Announcer/Intro/Outro (23:47):
I was like now what am I supposed to
do?
Thank you for joining us todayon the Reignite Resilience
podcast.
We hope you had some ahamoments and learned a few new
real life ideas.
To fuel the flames of passion,please subscribe on your
favorite streaming platform,like or download your favorite
episodes and, of course, sharewith your friends and family.

(24:08):
We look forward to seeing youagain next time on Reignite
Resilience.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.

24/7 News: The Latest

24/7 News: The Latest

The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.

Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.