In Part I, Nichole and Scott invite three top thought leaders to share foundational insights that can help listeners connect across differences.
Curiosity is a bridge to connection, an essential tool allowing us to explore the stories, values, and perspectives of others, says Scott Shigeoka, author of SEEK. It strengthens personal, work and civic relationships…“People who feel seen, stay.” Activating curiosity also generates dopamine, a feel-good neurochemical, and is tied to creativity, problem-solving and innovation, and better health. Like any muscle, our ability to be curious grows stronger with practice..and it’s contagious!
Dialogue is different from well-intended conversations, according to John Sarrouf, co-Executive Director at Essential Partners, because it focuses on mutual understanding rather than persuasion or debate, seeks the complexity in different perspectives, and is designed to avoid defensive patterns (e.g., attack, defend, or withdraw). Every one of us can learn these skills.
Avoiding differences to focus solely on common ground can be counterproductive, says Melissa Weintraub, co-Executive Director at Resetting the Table. People feel seen and valued when their perspectives are acknowledged, which is why engaging with differences builds trust and can serve as a springboard for collaboration (or repair amidst challenges).
Actionable Takeaways:
Build the Curiosity Muscle:
Regularly engage in conversations with people holding different perspectives.
Use curiosity to approach disagreements or complex problems by seeking alternative perspectives and solutions.
Practice active listening and ask open-ended questions to understand others deeply.
Adopt Dialogue Skills:
In challenging discussions, listen to understand rather than persuade. Focus on understanding the other person’s beliefs, the stories behind them, and the complexity of their views.
Engage Differences with Openness:
When faced with divisive topics, lean into the discomfort rather than avoiding it. Use differences as an opportunity to build deeper relationships and mutual respect.
Create New Patterns for Collaboration:
Establish norms of deep listening, respectful inquiry, and reflection in group settings. Use these patterns to foster trust and resilience during joint projects or coalition-building.
Apply Multivocality:
Explore opposing views by seeking out their most reasonable and eloquent explanations. This doesn’t require agreement but promotes a nuanced understanding of where differences truly lie.
Revisit Dialogue in Tough Moments:
When action-oriented efforts hit roadblocks, return to dialogue to rebuild trust, clarify misunderstandings, and reignite progress.
Resources
Read SEEK: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World, by Scott Shigeoka
Visit Essential Partners at www.whatisessential.org for free resources, dialogue facilitation guides, or to sign up for training.
Visit Resetting the Table at www.resettingthetable.org for workshops and events near you, or to sign up for training.
For more information or to share your stories and feedback, email info@togetherup.org, or comment on YouTube and Social Media @togetherupinstitute
HOSTS:
Nichole Argo is the Founder and Executive Director of TogetherUp Institute
Scott Hutcheson is the Executive Director of E Pluribus Unum
Produced by Next Chapter Podcasts